"Yes, Mama.  'izza! 'izza! I gonna have some 'izza"

All the images in my signature and some in my about me are gone: Wah hoppen?

It's good to see that you don't want to rewrite the same old, same old, but at the same time your last point gets to the heart of it.  Without conflict, the story lacks the tension that speeds the narrative on its way.  The threat is that you are going to end up with a fanciful product endorsement, and not a story.  This strikes me as a good place to start: how do I write a story that is not merely descriptive of a given reality if the protagonists are all on the same page and willingly in the same boat?

I didn't know that about Margaret Mitchell. I could try something like that. I guess what I'd like to do different with this story, the one thing I have decided and will stick to, is that all the students in the school are regressing 100% willingly. No one's being tricked by a jealous spouse, no one is on a criminal diversion program in lieu of prison, and no one is kidnapped off the street and thrown into a windowless van. I want to tell a happier story. Of course, that robs me of a lot of opportunity for conflict.

At least you were afforded the opportunity to indulge in a "to hell with it" moment!  My last code-brown was flat out urge incontinence and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. The only mitigating factor is that under normal operating conditions, it doesn't happen.  It's only when something doesn't agree with me but I'm moderately sure that if I was in the habit of uncontrollably filling my pants after a questionable chicken burrito for lunch in the "before times", I'd remember it. I can only conclude that this is an unfortunate byproduct from how we have treated ourselves.  At least it's rare.