Trading Post

Her nickname gets used so much that my mind defaulted to Madison, a character name from another setting I read, instead of Madelyn.

I'm not insulted at all. I'm a 150 lb 56 year old toddler with a 32 inch waist that wears Huggies snug and dry size 7 during the day and Huggies overnight size 7 for bed. They fit me fine without any modifications and hold up well without any leaks. The old school luvs (the stretchy ones) like the Holy Grail that I found fit me fine. The new ones don't. They suck. Same with the Pampers they use to fit me well. But now they don't. They don't make them stretchy anymore. I use to wear them 24/7. I can't anymore. As a result I have to wear Huggies snug and dry size 7 during the day and Huggies overnight size 7 for bed. I don't see much difference between the two therefore I wear the size 7. Besides I get more for my money and the overnights aren't available in a size 8.

I blush and soon get hungry 

Alice: Well i figure that if im going to be miserable then im going to make you as miserable 

Chapter Five: The Choosing “Jae-yung? Come on, bud, it’s time to get up.” The Little groaned and rolled over. The Amazon chuckled and tapped his shoulder. “Sorry, buddy, but we have a schedule to keep.” He groaned again and pulled the blanket over his head. There was another chuckle, but this time, there were no words to follow. Instead, a large hand patted Jae-yung’s diapered bottom. “AH!” the Little shouted as he sat up immediately, his eyes flying wide open. Bak reeled back in surprise at the outburst, but recovered fairly quickly as he reached his arms into the net playpen that was filled to the brim with pillows and blankets for a makeshift crib. “Good job, you made it through the night,” the Amazon smiled encouragingly after another probing pat on the front of the much thicker pull-up. Dazed and disoriented, Jae-yung’s eyes darted around as he tried to make sense of what was happening. For the first minute of the morning, he had completely forgotten about the night before. No warehouse incident, no wet pants, no diaper shopping. He swallowed as he nodded to Bak, whose face and voice he was now recalling, as memories began flooding back. Still, there were things he didn’t recall… like arriving back home the night before. The playpen set up, the… diaper change… which he only noticed because the one he had on was much thicker. “Do you have to go potty?” Bak asked as he gestured to the bathroom attached to the room. Glancing around, the large bed next to the playpen wasn’t made yet, and he grimaced; he had slept in the same room as them. “Uhh… uh, yeah,” he stammered, nodding as he looked to the bathroom, trying hard to flush the worst assumptions that came to mind from this setup. Glancing down at his waist, he pulled up the pajama shirt to see a dark blue diaper waistband. He poked it. “They’re called MoonNites,” Bak explained as if Jae-yung asked, and he hastily pulled the shirt down, averting his eyes from the Amazon carrying him. “Very good protection overnight. The moon will disappear if it’s wet.” Jae-yung blew air out of his nose. Bak set him down on the edge of the toilet and, without a word, pulled down his pants and pull-up simultaneously. He jerked and tensed up, his hands immediately shooting down to cover up his genitalia. Bak snorted, putting his hands around the Little’s waist to hold him steady. “Oh, don’t worry, I’ve seen one before,” Bak mused as he leaned forward, making eye contact with Jae-yung. “Go on.” “B… but,” Jae-yung fumbled, looking between the Amazon, his hands around him, and the toilet; there was no way he could pee like that. “Do you have to poop?” “No,” he squeaked, his shoulders lifting to his ears. “Mm, you might want to try,” Bak suggested as he looked up in thought. “The cleansing cream tends to make that happen anyway.” Jae-yung closed his eyes as he winced and nodded. He had heard that before. “Come on, be a big boy and go,” Bak huffed, sounding pressed for time, which was reinforced when he glanced at his watch. “Unless you aren’t sure you have to –” “No-no,” the Little hastily responded, looking down and pulling his penis out to aim it down at the water. He swallowed and closed his eyes again, holding it in place as he tried to imagine himself elsewhere… the press around his waist was… a harness… holding him steady as he stood over… a cliff. Yeah, a cliff over a lake down below, and he was going to piss into it from all the way up here. He smiled as he felt the urine travel down the shaft and then smiled wider when he heard the noise. “Ah-ah,” Bak instructed as he put a hand over Jae-yung’s to angle the stream down, unaware he had been slowly migrating upwards. This caused the stream to pause, only for a second, as the visualization was shattered and he was brought back to the awkwardness of peeing supervised, worsened now by the massive hand over his. Still, even this awkward moment couldn’t fully stop what had already begun, and the urine came streaming out once more. The Little’s eyes glared downward, annoyed that Bak’s hand remained there until he was done, pulling back when he shook out the last few drops. “Well done,” the Amazon stated with a clinical tone, lifting the Little from the toilet, pulling off the pants and pull-up from his ankles, and setting him on the floor, nude from the waist down. The man reached for the handle to flush, then glanced down at the Little, whose face was red as he once more covered up his genitals. “Are you sure you don’t need to poop?” “Yes,” Jae-yung somewhat hissed, wincing as he looked down at his feet. Bak nodded and flushed the toilet, then once more, the Little was flying in the air as he was hoisted up to the sink. Having no choice but to release his genitals, he began to lean forward to grab the soap, but in blinding speed, it was handled for him instead. Bak was on a mission, and his face was in deep concentration as he washed both of their hands together. “Are we… late?” “Not yet,” Bak replied with a flash of a smile. He began to talk hastily as he dried both of their hands and flew Jae-yung back into the main bedroom. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you last night, but given the cleansing ritual, you’ll be skipping breakfast. There will be plenty of lunch afterwards.” Frowning and nodding, he pressed his lips together as his shirt was quickly removed, and he stood still, tense, and completely naked. The Amazon clicked his tongue as he stepped over to the folded-up clothes at the ready, which sat upon a rocket ship pull-up. The clothes were placed on the edge of the bed, and he opened up the diaper, presenting it at knee level to the Little. “It’s an old, traditional complex with the two homes,” he explained as Jae-yung gingerly stepped in, one leg at a time. “And has a community house with a shrine. The shaman will perform the ritual there.” Without a warning, Bak pulled the diaper up to Jae-yung’s waist as soon as his other foot cleared the hole. The Little winced, closing his eyes as the Amazon ran his hands around the leg cuffs, and leaned behind him, cupping his butt to check the fit from behind; he shivered as he broke out in goosebumps. “Now, your grandparents have long passed away,” the Amazon continued without noticing or commenting on his reaction, grabbing the light brown slacks first and likewise presenting them for him to step into. Taking in purposeful breaths, Jae-yung nodded and stepped in, his ears buzzing and feeling his nerves already on edge, and he’d only been up for maybe five or ten minutes. “So Mung’s eldest brother and wife are head of the family, and perform those roles.” “Oh, uh,” Jae-yung started, his face contorting as he recalled Mung mentioning him. “Muuu… D-daddy said he’d, uh… talk about him more.” “I’m sure he did,” Bak grumbled in disapproval, lifting the pants up to the waist and once more did a butt check, tugging at the seat slightly to pull the elastic waist down slightly; Jae-yung clenched his jaw. “He’s probably trying to avoid talking about it around me, which -” Bak rolled his eyes as he pulled the shirt over Jae-yung’s head, who quickly slid his arms through the holes before they could be pulled. “Is his way of trying to be kind, I get it. Still.” The Amazon huffed as he tucked the undershirt into the waistband of the pants, then grabbed the sweater vest and collared shirt combination, sewn together for ease. Jae-yung looked down at the tucked-in shirt and grimaced, grabbing it to pull it up. “No,” Bak instructed, gently but firmly pushing Jae-yung’s hands away. “That stays tucked in. Here.” As if putting on the shirt explained anything, he paused in talking and pulled it over the Little’s head. Once he tugged at it and checked all around to make sure it was fitting correctly, the Amazon smiled. “See? Undershirt tucked in, the shirt can lie flat,” he stated as he pointed over to the floor-length, giant mirror. “You look great.” Jae-yung stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes glued to the stupid argyle sweater vest attached to a fake button-down shirt beneath it. On the bright side, he noticed immediately that the diaper wasn’t evident. The slacks had just enough bulk in them to hide it, though as soon as he took a step, the noise gave it away. Still, he looked like a prick. One of those smart, rich assholes who looked down on everyone for everything. His eyes briefly flashed to Bak, noting they were dressed similarly. “Okay, last thing,” Bak stated as his hand went to the bed, and he pulled down a navy pacifier, already attached to a clip. Jae-yung spun around to face it, his eyes slightly wide as he felt his face get a little paler; he had not once thought of those damn things for himself, even after seeing the Little yesterday with one. He… wasn’t ready. “I know,” Bak sighed sympathetically, and this caused the Little to blink in surprise, his face softening slightly as he looked up at him. The giant knelt as his hands reached out, clipping it to his shirt. “I know a lot is being foisted on you quickly, and you certainly don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.” Jae-yung looked down at his chest as he watched, then met Bak’s eyes, who smiled as he put his large hands on the Little’s shoulders. “You may find it useful during the ritual to help keep the silence,” he stated calmly and clinically, as he was purposefully focusing on its utility. “And I won’t let anyone force it in your mouth. I promise.” “D… does it, uh…” “No,” Bak replied decisively and quickly. “It does not inflate.” Jae-yung breathed a sigh of relief as he put his hands on his chest, one hand fidgeting with the clip. He looked down at his chest and the pacifier again and nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered, relaxing a bit. Which was near immediately ruined when the man leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Of course,” Bak softly replied and pulled the stunned Little up into his arms, and made his way downstairs. Adding to the confusion and whirl in his mind of being kissed by a man as an adult (he couldn’t even remember the last time his father kissed him as a kid), he felt the Amazon’s hand supporting his butt and his fingers against his upper thighs. As he stared into the vast nothingness while his brain buzzed with discomfort, he vaguely realized he had spent all of yesterday with a thick layer between him and someone holding him, whether it was a suit jacket or the blanket. Without that, he felt a giant, groping hand near his butt and uncomfortably close to his balls. “There he is,” Mung greeted warmly, smiling widely at Jae-yung, who blinked rapidly in an attempt to force himself out of his stunned state. “I half expected you to still be sleeping.” “He tried,” Bak chuckled, patting the Little’s thigh, which made the buzzing in his ears louder, which he now knew was the rushing blood. His heart was drumming in his throat, and his mouth was dry from hanging open. “Made it through the night without an accident, though.” “Really?” Mung asked, and Jae-yung’s eyes snapped to him; there was surprise, but more subtly, disappointment in his tone. At least, so the Little thought. “It doesn’t happen all at once,” Bak commented casually, glancing towards the door and nodding at the diaper bag. “Are you ready?” “You aren’t eating?” the larger man questioned in surprise. “No, if he can’t, I won’t,” the smaller giant smiled as he looked at Jae-yung, who swallowed and flashed a small smile. “Can… I walk? Or, uh…” Jae-yung stammered as he looked around for something thick to put between his butt and Bak’s hand. “Sorry, bud, we’re in a hurry, so it’ll be faster to carry you,” Bak explained quickly, gesturing his head towards the car, but Mung waved them off. “I’ll be right there,” he explained as he disappeared down the hall. As Bak hastily cleaned up the kitchen, exchanged shoes in the mudroom, and grabbed the diaper bag, Jae-yung made every attempt to focus on other senses. Other things to distract him from the hand at his nether regions, but at every pivot, move, lifting, and dropping of something in his other hand, Bak’s groping hand would twitch, and Jae-yung would be quickly reminded of it. The pants were too thin, and the diaper was too thin (ugh, he couldn’t believe he was saying that); he felt every twitch and finger movement. He let out an audible sigh when he was lowered into the car seat, and his entire body relaxed into the soft cushions. He closed his eyes, enjoying a comfort he had never known before. Still feeling like he hadn’t fully caught up on his sleep, the comfort threatened to lull him back to sleep, even as he felt Bak’s hands clicking the belts around him. He fluttered his eyes open as Mung laid the space-themed blanket on him, and Jae-yung half-smiled in gratitude, grabbing the blanket and pulling it over his head, giving him the darkness and privacy to nap on the car ride. Jae-yung sighed as he dropped his backpack lazily at the home’s entrance, groaning loudly as a means to get attention for having a bad day at school… but as he shoved his feet into the house slippers, he noticed there was no greeting from his mother. He blinked, looking around the house. “Mom?” he called out to the emptiness. After lingering in the silence, he scanned the area for a note to no avail and made his way to his room… but he paused, hearing a quiet sobbing behind the door of his parents’ room. Slowly and quietly, he approached the door and leaned in, hearing the sobs of his father. “Dad?” he asked as he knocked on the door. The crying immediately stopped. He lingered at the door, wondering if he should step away and pretend he hadn’t knocked… but he heard the footsteps and his concern kept him rooted. The door flung open, and his father’s expression was attempting to be stoic, but was plagued with grief. His eyes were red and watery, and his cheeks were red from hastily being wiped at, but still somewhat damp. He frowned as he held out a picture of his wife, Jae-yung’s mother, in a familiar frame. “Your mother… has the honor of being Adopted,” he stated in a low tone, trying hard to keep it together, and the muscles tensing in his neck reflected that. “Please add her presence to the shrine, and we will… pray for her tonight as a… family.” Jae-yung stared at the picture of his mother, his mouth open. “Jae-yung,” his father snapped, pushing the portrait forward into his chest. “Do as I say.” “Y-yes, sir,” he murmured as he gingerly took the portrait and took a step back, his eyes unable to focus on anything as the world around him blurred. His father lingered only for a moment, but as his chest convulsed, threatening to break out into a sob again, he retreated behind the door. On autopilot, Jae-yung’s feet carried him towards the family shrine where the portrait of his aunt, his father’s sister, sat. Slowly, his hands shaking, he placed his mother’s picture beside his aunt, but his hands held on the frame, feeling that if he let go, he was the one putting her in this position. He stared at her smiling face. How could this happen? She was a mother. She had given birth and raised two children of her own, changed their diapers… and now… ‘We must cherish the first life of the honored Adopted. It is our duty to remember and love them, and never forget them. We pray for their peace and happiness, so they may have it and bring it to their new family.’ He gasped as he released his hands from the frame, feeling the tears streaming down his face as he heard her voice echo in his mind. She was the one who taught him how to honor the Adopted. She was the one who taught him about Little kibun, the first and second. She would have been the first to admonish his father for not immediately fulfilling his kibun for her. “I won’t forget you, Mother,” he promised her portrait as he bowed deeply to her photo. “Your first life gave me mine. Your first life mattered and made a difference. You are here with us in spirit, as we are there with you. May you find your second kibun, may you have peace and happiness in your second life, and know that we will always love and honor you.” Jae-yung groaned as he felt he was being moved and it was stirring him from his dreams, but his body and mind were still heavy from sleep. The deep voices of the Amazon men around him were quieter than normal, speaking in hushed tones to let him remain in his groggy state. He took in a few deep breaths as he was trying to summon the energy to wake up, but as his brain fired up before his body did, he was reminded that ahead of the ceremony, they would be isolated from others anyway. He didn’t need to worry about introductions yet. He let out a small sigh, letting that thought relax him as he decided to fall back asleep… but unfortunately, his body didn’t listen to that decision. The more movement he felt, the shifting of light and air as they moved from inside a car, to outdoors, to indoors again, all served to slowly wake him. He turned his head inwards towards the chest of whoever was holding him, and he lifted his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes and forehead upon realizing he was not going to go back to sleep. “Hey, buddy,” Mung greeted warmly, his hand resting on Jae-yung’s back. “You waking up?” “Yeah,” he muffled his reply into Mung’s suit jacket before turning his head to the side and blinking his eyes open. He was in a small bedroom that had the hallmarks of a traditional house: wooden beam structure and accents, plaster walls, and barren decor save for old and traditional art. He licked his lips as he slowly sat up, looking around to take it all in. The room was very quiet, which made him realize someone wasn’t here. “Where’s… uh, Papa?” “Getting dressed,” Mung replied as he jutted his chin towards the shut door. “He likes wearing traditional clothing for these kinds of events.” “Oh, okay,” Jae-yung replied absently as he looked down, noting that Mung was sitting in a chair facing the bed. “So, before he comes back,” the Amazon started quietly, taking in a breath. “You’re going to meet a lot of… coworkers of mine, including my brothers. But my eldest is my boss.” Mung paused, considering something, then seemed to think he might as well. “The boss.” Jae-yung’s jaw dropped as he inhaled sharply. Japok was one of those paradoxes in Goryeo, where it was a well-known organization that was also highly mysterious. Long before Jae-yung’s time, it had been just one of the many criminal organizations that fought for supremacy on the streets, but as the government thinned out the herds, Japok was one of the few left standing. The last known boss had died more than a decade ago, and no name or face had taken its place. Instead, the organization itself became an entity, with only ever a boss being referenced as… “The Dragon?” Jae-yung whispered, and Mung blew a laugh out his nose and nodded. While the Amazon may have found this amusing, the Little did not; he was the last survivor of an operation that had tried to pull one over on Japok with counterfeit money that he helped make. His heart jumped several steps from calm to panicking like a frantic drummer. “Uuuuh, Da-Daddy, I - I sh-should tell you –” “Shhh,” Mung soothed quickly, lifting his massive hand to cradle the Little’s head and pulling him in towards his chest; Jae-yung’s frightened expression didn’t change, though it was somewhat comforting to hear the Amazon’s calm and steady heartbeat as his ear was pressed against his chest. “He already knows everything. I don’t keep anything from him. You have nothing to worry about.” He nodded stiffly through the shaking and closed his eyes, trying to focus on breathing as he listened to Mung’s heart. He jerked his eyes open and jumped slightly when the door opened, but blew out a sigh seeing Bak in a men’s navy hanbok with a white under-layer. “They’re ready when we are,” he announced quietly as he shut the door, then spun around to look at Jae-yung, and his face lit up. “Oh, good, you’re awake.” He forced a smile quickly and nodded, and Mung finally released his hand from his head, and they met each other’s eyes. The Amazon raised his eyebrows and smiled, trying his best to convey the certainty he felt. Jae-yung bit his lower lip. “Jae-yung, do you have to potty before we go?” Bak asked as he approached the pair. “Uh,” he gulped, looking down as he bit his lip. “He’ll be fine,” Mung shrugged. “That’s what the diapers are for, right?” “Sure,” Bak snorted with a slight roll of his eyes as he reached a hand out, brushing his fingers through Jae-yung’s hair as he leaned down, trying to get eye contact. “Jae-yung?” He sat, staring down at the clipped pacifier and seeing the slight bulge of the dry diaper, feeling conflicted between how each of them was treating him. Bak was giving him the choice to be physically more mature, while Mung was more supportive of talking to him like an adult. Perhaps it was down to how each of them met him… He winced; he may wish to lean into Bak’s inclinations, but as the Amazon had said himself, Mung was the head of the household. What he wanted was the priority, and maybe… maybe there was a purpose to it. Maybe if he looked the part, no one in Japok, not even the Dragon, would think he could have been a part of the counterfeit scheme. He was just a confused Little in the wrong place at the wrong time. Grabbing the pacifier, he stared at it for a moment, took in a breath as if he were about to dive into the deep end of a pool, and shoved it in his mouth. He blinked, rubbing his tongue over it for a second, then looked up at the two Amazons staring down at him. He smiled and gave two thumbs up. “’Atta boy,” Mung chuckled as he handed the Little up to Bak, who arched an eyebrow at both of them, but held his tongue. Mung stood, straightened his jacket, and without another word, the three of them made their way out of the room, thus beginning the ritual silent walk. The silence was meant to show a deep respect for the process and bring everyone’s awareness to the present moment. Silence was a frequent initial stage to any cultural event: marriages, funerals, Adoptions, even important milestones like specific birthdays and retirement. Jae-yung had never really given the practice much consideration before, but he wondered what happened when someone broke the silence in any other ritual. In this one, it was a sign of immaturity. A Little that was unable to keep quiet to respect and honor their new family was thus too immature to understand the rules, and so too young to be trusted to do anything. He shuddered, thinking back to the woman he had overheard about, who cried throughout her ceremony, and was reduced to a tummy time baby. Bak seemed to have felt the shudder and began rubbing his back; he smiled at him, trying his best to show appreciation, even if he didn’t really feel it. Bak winked, and they turned a corner, walking down the hall where two figures awaited them. Similar to his (very-soon-to-be) fathers, one was dressed in a suit - the serious-looking male - and his wife wore a traditional dress, her hair pulled back and wrapped in an elaborate braided style at the base of her head. Mung and Bak silently bowed deeply to the couple, and Jae-yung closed his eyes for a moment, realizing this was the Dragon. “Congratulations, my dears,” the woman bubbled quietly, technically able to talk as she had not yet begun the walk. When they were upright again, her face lit up with pure delight at Jae-yung, and she immediately pinched his cheeks, which caused him to flush naturally before her pinching made the red worse. Bak blew a laugh out of his nose, and the woman’s husband gestured his head out the door. “Come on,” he stated, and she bowed her head as she gracefully slipped beside her husband, ceding the path to the family. The two men stepped out into the brightly lit day, and together, the family unit walked silently to a large, traditional building. Jae-yung’s eyes widened, and he looked around at the area, realizing he had somewhat slept through getting a lay of the land. This was an old homestead, which in and of itself was fascinating, as many of the country’s oldest buildings had been destroyed during the last war/occupation. It was a curiosity on how it survived, but it also noted an ancient wealth, only where the family could not only afford such a massive plot of land, but also host a shrine and, likely, support their own personal shaman. Not these days, of course. But back then, a family being able to pay for a permanent shaman on their own lands was one of the biggest cultural flexes. As he stretched and strained to look around, he glanced back and caught the eye of the couple trailing them; the Dragon’s dark eyes locked with his, and he neither frowned nor smiled. Just stared. But the woman beamed brightly and waved her hand at him, which he politely returned before looking forward again and shrinking himself in Bak’s arms. They were steps away from the shaman’s assistant, and everyone bowed in a silent greeting. Jae-yung rested his head on Bak’s shoulder, rubbing his tongue against the pacifier as he took in everything ahead of them… unwilling to look behind anymore. They were greeted by a young woman in white who bowed deeply and silently brought them through the house to the second floor. Despite his curiosity and desire to see more of the location around him, he kept his head forward and let his eyes do the work. This was meant to be a time of reflection and respect, and he wanted to embody that. His eyes tracked the old wood beams, his ears perked at the creaking floors beneath them, and the house had that old oak smell mixed with decades of incense. The woman led them into a small room, where two chairs were up against a wall, facing the table with a Little-sized bathtub. He swallowed and moved the pacifier to the side of his mouth to chew on it, knowing what was coming. The Dragon and his wife moved to the chairs and sat, while Bak, Mung, and Jae-yung moved to the table, and the woman flanked the tub, grabbing the brass bells used to summon the attention of the spirits. She gave the stick a firm shake as she bowed her head. “The spirits are gathering. To greet them, we must purify the body,” the woman announced firmly, though her voice was gentle and warm. Bak set Jae-yung down on the table, which was covered in an absorbent pad that crinkled under his weight in the same way a diaper did. He looked down curiously at it, but Bak began undressing him, starting with the overshirt. Jae-yung wanted to help, his hands even jerking towards the undershirt, but they instead hovered nervously as he second-guessed that. He looked up for a hint, but he froze, seeing a different look in each of their faces. Staring down at him, smiling, Bak and Mung looked… different. It was both disconcerting and comforting, in a strange, horrific way. It was the most emotional they had looked at him, rather than seeing him as a wounded, broken thing in need of help… but it was also that look. The look every Little instinctually knew to fear. The parental look. As the undershirt was briefly cut off his stare, it let him gather his composure briefly. Bak then lifted Jae-yung to his feet and then hovered him up a few inches in the air while Mung pulled the pants off, setting the clothes to the side. Jae-yung shivered as he looked down, trying hard to ignore the rocket ship pull-up as he silently bid his body hair goodbye. The woman brought over the lotion, and he was laid on his back for ease. Letting out a sigh, Jae-yung closed his eyes as the pull-up was removed and the lotion was lathered on. He sucked the pacifier in as he felt every little detail: the prickling effect on his skin, the smooth hands of Bak, the rough hands of Mung, and he was surprisingly grateful to feel the smooth hands handling his genitals. He winced several times, the prickling feeling distinctly pronounced on his balls, then he felt his lower half lift… He slapped his hands over his face, his palms pushing the pacifier against his lips as his arms shook as he felt the lotioned fingers run between his butt cheeks and make a concerted effort to get the hair around the butthole. His entire body seized up as his face scrunched, unable to escape the fact that any other male finger other than his own was there; he felt his teeth might shatter under the pressure of the clenched jaw, or the pacifier teat might break off. Thankfully, neither happened. He relaxed slightly when his lower half was laid down on the mat, but he jerked several times, tensing up again as he felt the tiny pricks of his hairs dying off. A few tears of frustration squeezed out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks, which were gently rubbed away by Mung’s rough hands. Finally, he relaxed his entire body as the last prickle signaled – Grguummbble. His body was seized again as his gut churned. He knew this could happen, and despite Bak’s attempts to circumvent this, he shivered as a stream of mushy shit began to leak out uncontrollably. Mung took in a sharp, surprised breath, but Bak folded up the edge of the mat to prevent any splash back with one hand and took Jae-yung’s hand in his other, supportively rubbing his thumb over the back of the Little’s hand, who squeezed as hard as he could. Pppfffrrrrapt. Pfbt. Bbbrrapt. Jae-yung let his body relax as he felt that was the end of it, though he kept his hands over his face, his expression twisting as he held back crying. Bak motioned with his head to the container of wipes, and Mung nodded, opening it up, and as if on fast forward, the clean up became a bit of a whirlwind. His bottom was wiped first, then his penis and balls, then a quick wipe over his body. Bak made a clicking noise as he gently tapped on Jae-yung’s hands, and he lifted them, wiping at his eyes to clear them of the tears that had built. Bak nodded sympathetically, but his response was to move faster; he quickly lathered the lotion on Jae-yung’s face, while the Little looked at Mung, who looked worried. Slowly, he reached a hand out and placed it on top of the Little’s head, rubbing a thumb through his hair. Jae-yung frowned, his lower lip quivering, realizing he wanted more than that… he wanted to be in Mung’s protective arms again. He closed his eyes, taking in several breaths to keep calm and focus on the warm palm on his head, slowly letting it calm him down. After a few deep breaths, he was lifted and placed in the warm bath, and a cup of water was poured over his head. “Well done,” Bak complimented in a whisper, dunking a towel into the water and beginning to rub off the lotion. “You okay?” Mung asked as he leaned in, returning his hand to the top of Jae-yung’s head, who smiled and nodded. “The body is purified,” the woman stated with a warm smile, and she bowed. “Please take your time. We will await you for the Choosing.” At that declaration, she, the Dragon, and his wife quietly exited the room. “Jae-yung?” Mung asked, his tone increasing in concern. “Yeah,” he whispered behind the pacifier, blinking his eyes open to look up at the Amazon and offering a weak smile. Mung stared for a moment, watching him as his husband scrubbed all the lotion off, and slowly, he smiled proudly. “Have you thought about your object?” “Mung,” Bak chided with a scoff, shaking his head. “You can’t ask him.” “I know,” the larger Amazon shrugged innocently, though his frown suggested he didn’t in fact know. “I’m just curious.” “You’ll influence him,” Bak sighed, shaking his head as he squatted down to grab a towel. In that brief moment, Jae-yung and Mung looked at each other, and the Little rolled his eyes. The Amazon smirked. “All right, bud, you ready to get out?” Bak asked as he opened up the towel, and although the real answer was no, Jae-yung nodded and stood up in the tub. Smiling, Bak wrapped him in the towel and lifted him out, giving him a warm hug before drying him off. “You did so well. We’re very proud of you.” “Fank you,” Jae-yung blushed and rubbed under his nose, uncomfortable with the praise. He couldn’t remember his (first) father ever once telling him he was proud of him. “You can take that out, if you want,” Bak commented as he tapped on the pacifier and walked over to the table where the ceremonial outfit was laid out. Jae-yung blushed, pulling it from his mouth quickly; why had he left it in?! Placed in a standing position on the table, Bak used the towel to dry off his hair and then moved down his body, while the Little looked up in thought about the object. He closed his eyes as he felt his body being moved to be dressed, and he zoned out as he thought back to his mother explaining the ceremonial objects when he was young, when his aunt was Adopted. “So Auntie picks a present?” a seven-year-old Jae-yung asked as he stared at the children’s book about Adoption, and he pointed to the table of objects. “Sort of,” his mother chuckled, running her hand through his hair as she tilted her head, resting her cheek on the top of his head for a moment. “Each object carries a meaning with it that you wish to communicate to your new family. So, if Auntie wants her new parents to know that she loves dressing up and cares a lot about how she presents herself, what would she choose?” “Mirror?” he asked as he jabbed his finger into the book, and his mother giggled, wrapping him in a hug. “Correct!” “Is that what she’s gonna pick, Mommy?” he asked as he stared at the objects, and his mother hummed in consideration. “I don’t know, dear,” she replied thoughtfully, her eyes looking over them before her finger touched the paper and ran over each one. “I think it depends on… her experience thus far.” “What about you, Mommy?” he asked innocently, looking up at her as her face distinctly shifted to surprise and, perhaps, a little put off. “What would you pick?” “Oh… I don’t know,” she quickly forced a smile and laugh, the kind that mothers do for their children to cover up their true reaction. “I haven’t given it much thought.” “Jae-yung?” He opened his eyes wide, seeing the concerned faces of Bak and Mung, and he immediately knew why: there was a slight blur in his vision. He brought his hands up, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry,” he mumbled, over-rubbing his eyes to make sure they were completely dry. “What’s wrong?” Bak asked, concern in his voice, though his hands adjusted Jae-yung’s clothing. The Little shook his head, unwilling to answer, feeling that if he spoke about it or thought about it any more, he might cry. “Come here, bud,” Mung quietly stated, though no action was required on Jae-yung’s part; the Amazon put his arms out and scooped the Little up, pulling him in for a hug. Jae-yung closed his eyes, once more feeling the all-consuming and comforting embrace, and he let out a relieved sigh. “You tell us when you’re ready. We’ll wait as long as you need.” Jae-yung smiled, nodding gently; the offer was enough. “I’m ready, Daddy.” “Ma Kang.” The Dragon, named. “Ma Chana.” Pinching cheeks lady. “Ma Mung.” Daddy. “Ma Bak.” Papa. “And the reason we gather together in this world and the next,” the shaman continued as she smiled at the Little. “Jae-yung.” He licked his lips and bowed deeply in his seat. There was a hum of approval around the table. “It is my honor to gather the spirits, requesting their attention, approval, and wisdom to this room. We seek their guidance and eternal blessing upon the Ma Family as they open their hearts to invite in, care for, and love its newest member.” Jae-yung blushed as he leaned back in the seat, looking down at the dish implements before him. He knew the basics of what was going on: ceremonial tea and miyok, shared by the family. It was the same process for weddings and offerings to the dead. The tea was made by Kang and given to him by Mung, while the rice was made by Chana and fed to him by Bak (who was called the “Honored Papa”, rather than father, which made Jae-yung smile). “Bleeech!” Jae-yung recoiled as he slid down in the high chair, barely able to swallow rice. Apparently, the Little version of the miyok rice was different than the Amazon, as he hadn’t been prepared for how bitter it was; either they all knew, or just found his reaction funny, as nearly everyone chuckled. “Here,” Bak grinned, offering the remainder of the tea to wash down the flavor, while Mung grabbed the remainder of Jae-yung’s ceremonial rice and finished it for him. The Little smacked his lips and nodded in appreciation to both of them. Then the big moment finally came. “A child born to a family grows its roots, as all learn the language, comforts, and curiosities of the child in time,” the shaman explained as her assistant set out each item, one at a time. “But a grown body welcomed into a family has its needs and desires already rooted within. Therefore, we invite the Honored Adopted to the Choosing.” Sitting up to look at the familiar items, Jae-yung assessed each item as they were set out: a folded-up, light blue blanket, a white cover book, a (large) set of crayons, a bin of wooden blocks, a collapsible handheld telescope, and a handheld mirror. “Ma Jae-yung,” the shaman spoke directly to him, smiling widely as she gestured to the items. “A new life lies before you, with a new family to love and support you. By your choice, you reveal yourself, your needs, and how best to know and nurture your roots. We ask you to choose a single item that best speaks to who you are and what you might seek from your Honored Fathers, and give it to them to confirm your selection.” He bowed his head to acknowledge her and, as Bak cleared the dishes in front of him, he climbed up onto the table to get near the items. Sitting down and scanning them, he had a good understanding of each item’s implication; that wasn’t the hard part. The difficulty in the selection was choosing between one’s real choice and guessing as to how their new parents would interpret it. That information never got back to the free Littles. The Adoption scrolls were considered a private and sacred object between the family. He didn’t know what his aunt had chosen, or his mother, and would never know if it worked out in their favor, or if they regretted that choice. His instincts boiled the choices down to three: crayons, a telescope, or blocks. The crayons served as the closest thing to his previous work. He was somewhat artistic, or at least had grown an interest in it from working on counterfeit money. The foil work on the bills was a delicate process that his steady and small hands were practically built for. But… he bit his lower lip, not sure that acknowledging his artistic prowess in the presence of Japok’s boss was the best idea. The telescope, as he had learned from his mother, was the newest version of the shaman bells. Spiritual, adventurous, seeking the unknown… it could be exciting. It could mean travel; he had never been outside of Hanseong, let alone outside of Goryeo. Then the blocks, which represented a mind grounded in the physical and material. One that seeks rationality in choices and structure in their day. This choice was more about him, and he frowned, realizing that… His mother had been good at giving their days and weeks uniformity. She would make his school lunches, prepare breakfast, and always had dinner ready at 6 pm. He hadn’t realized how much he appreciated that until it was gone, and he was expected to fill the gap for himself. Ever since her Adoption, his life had been an unstructured mess. He had lost the parent who gave it to him before he could really absorb it and apply himself. He closed his eyes, fighting back the tide of emotion. He wondered how she was… where she was… what she chose… he brought his hands up and rubbed his eyes free of the tears before they could really manifest. He reached out and grabbed the bin of wooden blocks. Whatever Mung and Bak’s interpretations were didn’t matter in the moment; he pictured his mother choosing blocks, and in this way, he felt a spiritual connection with her. A choice of solidarity with her, even if it was just in his imagination. He locked eyes with the shaman, who smiled warmly, and he bowed his head to her before turning around to face the Amazons. Both raised their eyebrows, as if to ask if it was his choice, and he nodded, scooting a bit closer as he held up the bin. Mung beamed as Bak lifted from his seat to lean forward and pull Jae-yung into his lap. The larger Amazon placed his hand on Jae-yung’s head, ruffling his hair, and Bak squeezed him in a hug. “Ma Jae-yung has made his choice,” the shaman announced and shook the bells over her head, then bowed deeply. “I will present his scroll of blocks, earth, and the monkey shortly.” The table replied and bowed as Jae-yung was shifted in Bak’s arms, holding the bin of blocks close to him. He picked one out when he saw a design on one of the sides, and he pulled it out, smiling at the horse. He set it back to search through the others, gently pushing them aside and seeing that each one had a lunar guardian on it. He continued searching until he found it: the rooster. His mother’s guardian. He leaned his head against Bak’s chest as he held the block against his chest, over his heart.