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HOUSE WORK: I do not know whether Mattie hoped we would give up if he deliberately did housework badly. It might have been just nobody had ever shown him what to do. Over the next few days. He did lots and lots of jobs again and again. Although mother had said that my brother would be doing "His Share" of the Housework it ended up with him doing an awful lot of it. We even made him tidy OUR bedrooms. He could not cook. He refused to go out in his frock, and so he did not get any shopping. By the end of January Mattie had learned: How to sweep a floor, how to wash dishes, how to lay a fire, how to wash, how to iron, how to scrub clothes\and how to iron. At the same time he had to do all his homework. Jo checked with his teachers. His behavior improved very greatly whilst marks shot up. The treatment was working. SOPHIE'S ATTITUDE: Little Sophie had long hated being called the baby of the family. Of course from that day in May 1945- before mum even knew she was on the way- Sophie was guaranteed to be, at least chronologically, the youngest. Maybe too mother love was a bit like smother love for my little baby sister- God Sophie would strangle me for that phrase. Well how do you make it up to a little girl who will NEVER see her Daddy? Especially if you think her Daddy was the best person in the World. Petticoating was changing Mattie. He was being very well behaved and quiet. He was, for instance, much more tidy and considerate than Jo had been when she shared a room with Sophie. He wanted to stop having to wear a dress. He wanted the threat of spankings lifted. He certainly did not want any more mouth washings. All this meant that he was nice to Sophie. After he had done the dishes up and his home work before he went to bed Sophie went up to him. She asked if he would play with her and her dolly. At first he did as Sophie said just to avoid a spanking or worse. But as time went on he found he actually liked it. I don't mean he liked putting a dress on a doll. He did like making Sophie happy. He even understood that when Sophie said: "I wish I could have a dress as nice as yours!" She was NOT being horrid. NEIGHBOURS: I got on very well with the girls who lived next door. Alice was my age Rosemary was nine. I have to admit that Alice was a much nicer person. She had been at the same school as me. She could have stayed on and gone to college. But what she wanted to do was work for that insurance company. Already she was supervising the new girls- and even some new boys at only 18. Rosemary was always nice to me. The trouble was she tended to bully people. She was really nasty sometimes to little- I mean she was not nice to Sophie. I also knew that some day soon Alice wanted to move out. PROBLEM: Although Sophie liked her "New little sister" she did have one complaint. She told mother quietly. "Sometimes he moves and shakes the bunks a lot. It scares me." Mother had noticed some stains in his sheets. She knew what that meant. Actually at that age I was very innocent. I did not know what it meant. I heard mother give my brother this final warning: "If I hear another complaint from your sister or I see one more disgusting stain- I will deal with you and you will be sorry!" About a week later I heard my mother hearing another complaint from Sophie. Then she saw the stain. "Disgusting!" SOLUTION: Since dad's death both mother and I had learned to be "handymen" about the house. Things sometimes needed doing. We had no men. There was no money. In the past mother had asked Matt to help with minor household repairs. Her son from the age of 13 made it clear that he was only going to do such jobs for money. Money which we did not have. In any case on this occasion he would not be a good person to ask. Just after Sophie's last complaint mother called Matt and me. She told me that I would have to help her that day. She was making alterations to a bed. "Mattie, self abuse is disgusting and childish. I sincerely hope that Sophie does not know what you have been doing. "I know that this habit is going to stop. I had put you in with Sophie as if you were another child. That can not continue. "Instead you will sleep in Mummy's room- as if you were a baby. I have looked in the attic and we have Sophie's old playpen and cot. They are both broken but they have enough bits for our needs." I should explain that in England we say "Cot" where I think Americans say "Crib". Mother made Mattie do his homework in his new room- her room so he could see the work we were doing. The bottom bunk was taken from Sophie's room into mother's. On each side of it were added two sides of the old playpen and one side of the old cot. The ends of the cot were screwed to the ends of the bed. It was not a perfect cot. Some of the bars were horizontal when they should have been vertical. But it would do the job. The ends of two old belts were fixed to one end of the new crib. Next mother sewed the fingers and thumbs of two pairs of gloves together. She sewed the inner glove into the outer one. Each time she used strong nylon thread- supposed strong enough for a hundred pound fish. Bits of old sheets were wrapped and folded round the finger parts of the gloves. These too were firmly sewn in place. Bits of metal and pad-locks were fitted to the front of these new gauntlets. Finally the backs of these new "Gloves" were screwed tightly to the other end of the crib. When the work was finished mother explained. "You see child although you will be sleeping in my room I have no intention of being disturbed by your disgusting night time habits." Mattie thought he had an answer. "But what if I need to go to the toilet at night." Mother had planned for that as well "Well child I advise you to be careful to make full use of the facilities before you go to bed. Just in case I have looked out our old rubber sheet. "However if this cot is wet twice within any week you will wear nappies and rubber panties and you will stay wearing them until you have been dry for seven nights." I watched Mattie go to the toilet four times in the two hours before his bedtime. By the way he also found use of the wc embarrassing. Mother had been very angry when he had splashed his dress. She told him what to do. He had to pull his dress and petticoats right up. Pull his panties down to his ankle. Then he had hold his manhood pointing downwards and squat down like girls did. Despite his efforts by eleven o'clock when mother went to bed he was wet. She could smell it. She woke me up. We both woke Mattie up stripped his cot and gave him a cold strip wash. His bed was wet on Monday morning as well. STRUGGLE: Despite everything that had happened I do not think that even then Mattie took mother and my threats seriously. As it happened mother had a dental appointment. I got permission to get an early bus and miss games. I collected Jo and Mattie. Then we collected Sophie. Sophie went home with Jo. Even though she was only six she did not have to let her big sister hold her hand. Mattie on the other hand had to endure that indignity. He was surprised when I took him into the draper. He worried a bit when I talked of a big boy with a bed wetting problem and bought the nappies and rubber panties. He still did not believe it was real. At ten to seven he was in his nighty ready for bed, mother said. "Now for Mattie’s nappy." He tried to run away. We literally carried him to his cot. We forced his handies into the special gloves. Then we secured his feet. I pushed a pillow under his back and was able to pin his nappy on. He was struggling and pleading. "Please, don't. I'm not a baby. It's not my fault." Mother warned him. "If baby doesn't quieten down he will find himself drinking a baby bottle of soapy water." That worked. I undid one of the foot straps and slipped the rubber panties over his right foot. Then I re fixed it. Then I undid the bit on his left foot and pulled it over. Mother pulled the panties towards his nappy whilst I re-secured him. We found out the next morning that one nappy was not enough. We found out the following morning that two were not enough. From the middle of February until the middle of August he wore four nappies every night. Within a few days he was submitting without resistance to the humiliating ritual. Jo liked Mattie even less than I did. She offered to see to his nappies most nights. Mother was happy to let the 13 year old undress her older brother, put him into a nighty, pin him in bulky napkins and then stretch tight waterproof panties over them. Jo also enjoyed actually putting him down in his cot and making him helpless. SOPHIE'S PROBLEM: I noticed over next few weeks that Sophie did not want to go out much. I did not connect it at the time with our washing line. Of course neighbors on all three sides could see the nappies and the rubber panties drying. They knew we had no baby. They assumed that it was a bed –wetting problem. They also assumed that this must be to do with the youngest child. It was just after six in the evening. The shops had closed. I went next door to borrow some sugar. I over-heard Rosemary very confidently talking to Alice. "Sophie really is a baby. She's gone back to wetting the bed. I know because I've seen her nappies and rubber panties on the washing line." No wonder Sophie was so upset. And he had not said anything. Partly it was because she would not be believed. But also Sophie was a nice child. She would not go out of her way to be horrid to Mattie. Rosemary continued. "I asked her and she admitted it. At least she didn't say it wasn't true. Why else would they have nappies if it wasn't for a girl of her age needing them at night?" I went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door. "I couldn't help hearing what you said. You are being very unfair to Sophie. I think you should come next door and meet someone." So they came. Mattie was wearing a dress, a petticoat and a pinny. He was finishing the washing dishes pots and pans. Jo realized why I had brought the neighbors over. "Nappy time!" She announced. "But you can't not in front of..." Mother came in. I explained. "Rosemary was telling Alice that little Sophie wets the bed. I wanted her to know who the nappies are for." Rosemary literally didn't recognize Matt from the back. "Who's that girl and why is her hair so short?" I explained. "My brother Matt used to be very lazy at home and at school. One day he saw a boy who was punished by being made to wear a skirt. "Matt said he'd do anything not to wear girls' clothes. So his mother said: "’You'll wear girly things until you have passed your exams’." Jo added- without giving the full reasons. "Mattie started wetting the bed. So we had to put him back into nappies at night." I think Rosemary really enjoyed watching my brother's dress being taken off. His other day clothes coming off. His nighty going on. And especially his having to lie down and let himself be pinned into bulky baby-wear. From then on Rosemary teased Mattie much more than Sophie. LIFE WITH MATTY: For the next few months my brother's behavior was very good. He was nice to be with. He did not swear at people. He was helpful. He worked hard at school. He got much closer to Sophie. The truth is that he actually enjoyed playing dolls- especially after mother confiscated his comic books. On the couple of occasions he answered back he faced soapy mouth-washings. However mother had discovered the ultimate deterrent. "If you behave badly again you'll wear nappies during the day." That threat always improved his behavior EXAMS AND AFTER: In June and July both Mattie and I had exams. We were both allowed to get away with doing less housework. The stakes were very high for both of us. I HAD to get very good grades. A few weeks earlier in the careers class we had met a doctor. And she was a woman. Until that time I had just assumed that all doctors were men. In the same way as I had imagined that all nurses were girls. I had indeed thought about nursing. I do care about people. I do like the idea of helping people get better. But when I found out how little money nurses got I decided to give up the idea of medicine. Now I was quite determined. I would be a doctor- and a well paid specialist too. For Mattie too these exams mattered a lot. If he got the "O" levels he might get a better job. If he passed the Company exams he could work for Western Insurance. If he passed either he would not have to change into a frock every time he got home. Exam time is very stressful. We were both very ratty. I thought we had indeed both done very well. There was a problem. My last exam was on June 27. The insurance Exam was on July 11. But we would not hear about the results until the middle of August. I spent that month working as a temp- at the records office of the local hospital. Mattie spent that month being more and more annoying. He did less and less housework. He did it worse and worse. Mother got more and more angry: "Mattie - you're no more use in the home than a baby would be. If you want to wear nappies during the day you're going the right way about it." Mattie simply did not take the threat seriously. To be honest neither did I. I was sad that he had gone back to his old ways. On the other hand I felt that if the treatment he got had made him work hard, pass exams and get a job it was worth it. We had lived with a lazy, arrogant young man over the previous six years. We had got used to Mattie. Then it happened. Naughty Baby Mattie: I got a Friday afternoon off. Mother was coming home from shopping at the same time I arrived. Perhaps we were both earlier than Mattie expected. We found Mattie wearing MY old jeans (the only pair of trousers I possessed). He had to have been in my bedroom. He was smoking. He had eaten a lot and drank a lot of coffee. Cups and plates were all over the living room. Mother was livid: "What is the meaning of this?" Mattie was defiant: "Well I know I passed my exams” I asked "How- the result doesn't come out until Monday." He replied: "Well I just passed. Anyway you bitches can't touch me now. I'll be working soon." Mother spoke quietly but firmly: "Mattie, I never knew until now how much you wanted to spend a whole weekend in nappies." Mother's tone was very firm. "Frankie will you undress baby whilst I get this mess cleared up?" Mattie knew we meant business. He just let me get on with undressing him. I took my time about it. Finally when I was finished undressing him I said: "Lie still while I fetch your nappies." He obeyed. I also deliberately took my time over this. Finally I came downstairs. I acted in slow motion. Baby's nappies were too small to fold. I pinned each of the four of them at each side. I made sure to make sure that each was pinned really tightly. Then came the rubber panties. "Baba Mattie- where is your fwock?" Mother came in. She had a better idea. "Frankie, the dresses that Mattie has been wearing are far too grown up for a baby." Somehow I was able to squeeze him into a frock I had worn age seven. I was really glad he was so slim. Now it was not actually a baby-frock but it had always been quite short on me. Of course I had always been big for my age just as he had been small for his. He was thin enough to wear what I had worn eleven years earlier. However a shortish 18 year old boy is a lot taller than a tallish 7 year old girl. This showed. More to the point his underwear showed. There was no way at all he could stand or sit without his rubber panties being clearly visible. Then too there was a big bulge under the panties. The napkins made his ass very plump. Nobody could have been in any doubt about the details of his underwear. HUMILIATING WEEKEND: For the next couple of hours Mattie just sat still and felt miserable. Sophie tried to be nice but that made it worse: "I am really happy to have a new baby sister." Then at tea time I had an idea. Mother agreed. I called our on next door neighbors and invited Rosemary and Alice in. Rosemary was very good at teasing Mattie: "I've never seen such a pretty dress. It really does suit you. And it will be so convenient at change time. Won't it?" At five o'clock we had our tea. Most of us had sandwiches peanut butter sandwiches, cheese and jam (what Americans call jelly). But of course the "baby" was too young to share our food. Instead mum made a mixture of bread and milk. We put one of his nappies round him- like a bib. Then we each got a chance to spoon feed him. Rosemary was especially good at making sure that he got a very messy face. He had more surprised coming. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! Alice had brought her camera. "Please don't. It's not fair." I wasn't having any of that. "It's your behavior that's been "not fair." You have acted like a baby." Rosemary chimed in: "Mattie acts like a baby. Mattie's dressed like a baby. Mattie is a baby." Jo added. "And shouldn't babies talk baby talk." Mother agreed: "That's right. The next time you use words that don't suit your clothes Mattie you'll get some soapy water to drink and a spanking on your bottom- in front of everyone." A few minutes later Mattie got up from his chair and started to go upstairs. Mother was cross. "Come back this instant." He tried to explain: "But I'm going to toilet." There followed a struggle. I grabbed and held my brother. Mother went upstairs and undid the special mittens from his cot. They were then re-fitted to his hands. "Hey, stop it!" I asked. "How many bottles of soapy water does baby need?" Mother was calm: "Just the one for the moment. And I am surprised. You know I am used to looking after babies. I know that babies can't help wetting their nappies. I won't be cross. "But I told Mattie what would happen. At change time he can look forward to a nice hard spanking." So he sat at the table desperately trying to avoid wetting himself. Rosemary and Alice looked at him fidgeting. About half an hour later I came in with a baby bottle of soapy water. Mother asked. "Would Rosemary like to give baby his special feed. You sit down and baby will put his head in your lap." So he had to submit to this humiliation - and from a girl half his age. Just as the mouth-wash was nearly finished he flooded his nappies. Rosemary commented: "I think baby needs changing." Mother did not agree. "I think baby needs to stay in wet nappies until bed-time. I think that might make Matt think about what a horrid person he has been for the last few weeks. "Oh yes- and I think babies crawl- they don't walk." Rosemary had no intention of leaving. Her sister stayed too. As a special treat "Baby" was allowed to stay up until nearly eight o'clock. He crawled around in soggy sagging nappies for nearly an hour and a half. At ten to eight mother talked to Rosemary. "As you know Mattie is a very big baby. Big babies do A LOT of wee wee. So we had to give Mattie four nappies. Would you like to help me? "If Rosemary undoes his dress and pulls down his rubber panties and undoes two of baby's nappies I'll undo the other nappies. "Then I'll wash round his botty. Then he needs a spanking." So Mattie had to allow this little girl to undress him. He really was being treated like a baby. Rosemary also took her time about it. Mother took her time about undoing the inner diapers. She washed him with a cold rough cloth. Then she put one nappy onto her lap. "Across my knees child." He tried to evade punishment by pretending to be stupid. "The other way." He was so humiliated by this treatment that he cried. I don't think it was the pain from the spanking. I think it was just that he was feeling so shamed. Rosemary was also allowed to pin on some of Mattie’s nappies and to secure him into his cot. He did not enjoy Saturday either. Firstly he had a mouth-washing for not using baby talk He had been desperate "Mother I MUST go to the toilet." Mother was clear: "I told you about not using baby-talk. And I told you that you can use your nappies." He tried to clarify "I meant ..." I had, on mother's instructions, prepared a baby bottle of soapy water. It was on the breakfast table. I stuffed it into his mouth mid-sentence. Mother explained his situation further. "You know in my experience babies mess their nappies as well as just wetting them. "Of course if Mattie’s passed his exams and is a good boy he can go back to wearing boy clothes. But I will still expect help in the house. That will include washing. I think there are going to be a LOT of nappies to wash." Next mother noticed his hair was now reasonably long. She put it in pig-tails with pink and white ribbon bows. Two other nasty things happened. Mattie was invited next door. He was able to hide his dress with a coat but he found that Rosemary had invited lots of her little friends to laugh at him. Then on Sunday one of Sophie's friends visited unexpectedly. She saw Mattie being changed. She said: "My brother is having his second birthday party. Can the big baby come?" I went with him. I think he found his worst experience was not wetting and messing himself in front of all those people. The worst thing was hearing other boys and girls being praised for feeding themselves whilst he was spoon fed and praised for using the potty. Especially as his nappies got so very wet.

Payday, so I might get something quick, but with funds being what they are.... I do have some taco stuff that I was going to do Sunday night, but I may do it this morning........

Hotel radio at work.

$3.85 for 85. Diesel is down to $4.18 at the corner truck stop (Sinclair)

EVERYTHING!!!!!