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@Lizzyb24911 if you need advice (IF Adam's information doesn't help, some areas it does, others it doesn't...government!) feel free to message me, I will do everything possible to help guide you through this. Have been doing so for almost 4 years now.

Chapter 8: Desired diapers Jane was cooking when Nick approached her. She immediately noticed his expression and asked if something was wrong. Nick took a deep breath, but even then the words didn't come out as smoothly as he had hoped. Mom... could I, erm, Is it okay if I, or could you... Nick, just say it, Jane interrupted. Can you diaper me? I would like to wear one right now. Sure, just let me put this in the oven and then I'll put a diaper on you, she answered like it was the most normal thing in the world. When Jane was done she went upstairs and returned with not only a thick adult diaper, but a booster as well. It's okay if you want to wear a diaper, but I'm not gonna be changing you every few hours, she explained. Nick simply nodded and laid down on the couch, waiting for his mom to put him in diapers. Even though the amount of times Nick had been diapered was probably into the triple digits by now, this time felt special. It was the first time Nick got diapered because he wanted to be, and not because he "needed" to be. It felt like some ancient curse had finally been lifted, he was free. He hadn't explicetly said that he liked wearing diapers, but his request should speak for itself. Jane also seemed to be aware of this. She took her sweet time applying the babypowder, folding open the diaper and placing it under his rear, putting the booster in, wrapping the diaper up and finally closing up the tapes. How does it feel? She asked. Better, was all Nick could say. Glad to hear that, you have earned it. Now you can relax and enjoy. Though the rules still apply, no pants over your diaper, I want to make sure you don't leak. Nick was thankful for that. He liked lounging around with his diaper out in the open. It was an always present reminder of how helpless he truly was. It was also fun to see his plain white diaper turn yellow and swell up between his legs. Though he had to admit that preventing leaks was also pretty necesarry at this point. Nick sat down on the couch and within minutes he got sucked into the game and completely forgot what he was wearing. Although it didn't take that long for him to be reminded. When Nick once again felt the familiar urge to go, which didn't feel that long ago, he wanted to get up for a split second before remembering what he was wearing. He took a deep breath. Enjoy it, he told himself. Then he relaxed. Nick felt his entire body relax as he flooded his diaper. All this stress and hard work from the last two weeks was finally over and now he could let it all out into his diaper. He didn't pee that much however, in fact, the outside of his diaper was still as white as snow. His booster must have absorbed all of it. A smile crept along Nick's face as he realised that this diaper would actually last him the whole evening, he truly didn't have to think about going to the toilet anymore. After half an hour it was time for dinner. When he walked over to the table Jane stopped him and placed her hand on his diaper. Nick was a little stunned by this, but let it happen. I guess this is what you get when you want to wear diapers. It seems thicker than usual, but I don't see any wetness. Did you have an accident, she asked bluntly. I wouldn't call it an accident, Nick protested. But you still wet it? She asked. Yes, he admitted. Well, since boys from your age aren't really supposed to wet their diapers, I will still count it as an accident. But you seemed to be totally okay with me wearing and using one. I am, Jane agreed. Though I feel like you are telling yourself that you're wearing a diaper because you can't be bothered to go to the toilet. Nick could only nod in agreement. The way I see it is that your bladder has gotten so weak that you actually need diapers to be able to be able to relax at home. To me, that sounds like you need diapers, even if you're not incontinent. Nick sighed, he didn't want to talk about this, he didn't want to think about his deteriorating bladder, he just wanted to turn his brain of wet his diapers. Thankfully Jane got the hint, and left it at that. Dinner was a little awkward at first, but soon they found some other topics and the mood quickly lightened. Though it was shortly interupted when he wet himself again, he did it as soon as he felt the urge to try and keep his accident (now he was calling them that as well) hidden. But Jane saw right through him. Another accident, she asked, Nick simply nodded and quickly switched to another topic. The rest of the evening went by in the blink of an eye. After dinner, Nick quickly returned to his game and didn't stop until it was bedtime. Halfway through the evening, Jane did walk up to him and asked him to pause his game so she could check his diaper. Nick was a little annoyed but it was better than having to get up every so often to pee. Standing there and having to turn around to have the back of his diaper checked felt a little extreme, but during this check he felt how much his diaper was sagging and realized he had used it quite a lot. When you wet in small amounts, it is easy to forget that it all ads up. Nick was a little surprised to realize he actually needed a diaper check, or else he might have actually leaked. It wasn't really a surprise, but his mom had once again been right about him needing diapers. When she was done, Jane gave the back of his diaper a few pats before he allowed to continue his game. Nick was allowed to play for another hour before he had to shower. Jane didn't want him to stay in this diaper for too long. Even now that school was done, his routine was still centered around diapers. Nick would have liked to stay up a little longer, but he was also pretty tired. Had he gotten used to his new routine that quickly? As he was walking up the stairs yet another urge to pee hit him. Jesus, I just can't stop, Nick said to himself. He was getting a little worried, he had been wetting himself a lot today, the diapers made it easy to forget, but he wasn't sure what to do once his protection was gone. He knew he should seriously think about it, but right now he had more urgent matters. He had reached the bathroom and wondered if his diaper could hold another wetting or if he should use the toilet. The adult in him wanted to start gaining back some control and told him to use the toilet. Nick rarely lisentend to this side of himself however, so he kept his diaper on. The plus side of keeping the diaper on was that it didn't matter when he lost control, so he did dicide to try and hold it for a little longer. This way he could train his bladder at least a little bit, because he still wasn't sure if he wanted to be dependent on diapers. He was actually a little surprised he finished brushing his teeth before he was forced to finally give up. He let out a relieved moan as he felt the familiar warmth spread through his diaper. By now the diaper was huge, and Nick was ready to take it off. He quickly showered before entering the bedroom where his next diaper was already waiting for him. In no time he was once again diapered and ready for the night. Now that he was in bed, he actually felt how tired he was. He wasn't sure if that was because of all the stress and hard work from the last two weeks, or because he had gotten so used to going to bed early. He didn't manage to answer that question before swiftly falling asleep. The next morning started as one of the best in his life. He slowly shifted while he was waking up and felt the soggy diaper wrapped around his crotch. Nick looked at the clock and saw yhat it was 7 a.m. He had gotten out of bed early every morning so he could spend more time studying. Now that all of that was over, he could just stay in bed and sleep in once again. This isn't as easy when you have to pee however, thankfully this wasn't much of an issue nowadays. He remembered the first time he had decided to use his diaper instead of going to the toilet. It had felt so odd to just let go, wet himself and feel his diaper swell up. Now it felt almost more natural than going to the toilet. It didn't take long for him to once again soil his diaper. When he first started wearing diapers, they had seemed like a punishment, but he realized they were a blessing in disguise. Nick felt completely carefree now that he had no more tests to worry about. The warmth of his full diaper made him even more relaxed, and in no time he fell back asleep. He was woken up by Jane around 11 a.m. Good morning sleepyhead, I think you have stayed in bed for long enough. It's time to enjoy your summer holiday, and besides, that diaper isn't gonna keep your bed dry for much longer. That when Nick noticed the enormous bulk between his legs, he had thrown the sheets off in his sleep, so his diaper was on full display. Both the front and the back were yellow, and the diaper had become twice as large as when Jane put it on. It was about to burst. Even though he had slept almost twelve hours, he still felt tired. Jane took it upon herself to remove his diaper, she ripped the tapes off and folded the diaper open before cleaning his privates. Nick decided to just let it happen. When Jane was done, she seemed to hesitate for a moment, before handing his him morning clothes. Maybe it is time for you to start working on your bladder again, she said. Nick could only sigh, if there was anything he didn't want to do it was that, even though his mom was right. Nick had to admit that this wasn't his most productive day. But it had been a rough few weeks so he decided he had earned it. This was the first time in quite a while he wasn't wearing a diaper during breakfast, and even though it was probably for the better, it still annoyed him. He couldn't even complete his meal in one sitting without having to go to the toilet. The rest of the day was no diffrent, he wasn't able to commit to anything without getting interupted by toilet breaks. He had almost completed a difficult boss from a game when he needed to pee, pulling him out of the moment and resulting in a defeat. He messed up a drawing because he was shifting too much trying to hold his pee. Completing a single chapter from a book he was reading took him ages because he constantly lost focus because of his bladder. Near the end of the afternoon, all his excitement for the summer holiday had vanished now that it seemed like he would spend most of it trying to regain his bladder control. Jane had said nothing about his toilet troubles for most of the day, but when he returned from the toilet the second time in the last 40 minutes she decided to take pity on him. Would you like to be diapered, she asked out of the blue. Nick gave her a surprised look. He hesitated for a moment, even though this day had been an absolute nightmare, it felt wrong to give up already. Just because you're wearing a diaper doesn't mean you can't improve your control. Nick couldn't help but chuckle, you said that the last time as well, and look where we are now, he reminded her. I guess your right, Jane said. Nick hadn't expected her to agree with him that easily. Oh, he said involuntarily, the disapointment in his voice was impossible to miss. Just wear the damn diaper if that's what you want, Jane said. You have worked hard the last few weeks, you deserve to actually enjoy your free time. But what about... Nick started, but he was cut off. Forget about it, it's not gonna happen. What do you mean? What I mean is that you aren't getting your bladder control back. Over the last few months you have gone from regular boy to being barely potty trained. I think you are more often in diapers than not. I've had to put boosters in them because otherwise they simply couldn't keep you dry. And not only are you wetting them, you mess them as well. Only a few times, Nick protested. That was a few times too many, 18 year olds don't mess their diapers. And the reason you have been so grumpy all day is because you're not wearing a diaper. No, I'm grumpy because I have to go to the toilet every 30 minutes. What's the difference? Nick didn't have a response for that. I understand you want to be a normal teenage boy and do normal teenage boy things, but the truth is that you're not. Not anymore. There is something you need to understand. Just because you're not yet incontinent doesn't mean you don't need diapers. Your bladder is only getting worse and with the way things are going. You'll be incontinent sooner rather than later. It is time you realize this as well so you can let it sink in and give it a place in your head. Nick was speechless yet again, all he could do was nod. Jane took that for an answer and went upstairs to fetch him a diaper. Nick laid down on the couch and removed his bottoms, he might as well make this easy for himself. His mind felt numb. I need diapers was the only phrase that kept circling through his head. I need diapers, I need diapers, I need diapers... at first he felt a little numb, still trying to proces what he had just heard. Not long after that, his numbness made place for both terror and joy. The joy he felt was because he would always wear diapers, the terror was because he would always wear diapers. When he first started wetting the bed it had been annoying and scary to need diapers, but then it had become useful and exciting to wear diapers, and now it had come all the way back around to being scary (but also exciting). By then Jane returned with a blue forma care diaper, but with no booster. I see your ready, she joked. I guess so, Nick said with a bit of sadness in his voice. It was starting to settle in that his normal life was over, and he had no one to blame but himself. Look, I know it seems scary, and I guess it is. But it isn't like you'll only wear diapers from now on. Over the last few months you have slowly transitioned back to diapers because both your mind and your body are telling you that it's what you need. Now I'm telling you it as well. That's nothing to be ashamed of, everybody has to take a step back sometimes. We're just gonna keep taking small steps until you are comfortable with wearing diapers full time again. We will see where it goes from there, maybe after a few months your body is ready to re-potty train, or maybe being in diapers is simply the better option for you. Time will tell, but for now, just try not to think about it too much and listen to what your body is telling you. Right then and there his body once again gave the sign. He started to shift uncomfortably, suddenly very aware that he was unprotected if he had an accident. I think somebody is in need of some protection, Jane said. She lifted his legs to put the diaper under him. After that she applied some baby powder and expertly wrapped the diaper around him. After all of that, Nick was ready to surrender to his circumstances. I need diapers, he told himself one last time before he stopped trying to hold it and released a warm wave of pee into his diaper. By the looks of it we are on the same page, Jane said before standing up. The rest of the evening wasn't that much different from the previous one. He did the things he enjoyed doing most without having to interrupt them for potty breaks. He lost all interest in making it to the toilet or trying to train his bladder. Whenever he needed to pee, he wet himself, and that was that. As the night progressed, he felt his wettings become smaller and more frequent. I guess this was what it felt like to lose control. Around bedtime he had fully filled his diaper again and was ready for a change. First he needed to shower though. Halfway through he felt yet another urge to pee and just let it flow. Why would he bother trying to hold it, peeing in the shower was about as harmless as peeing in a diaper. After he finished showering, Nick was quickly re-diapered. Jane said goodnight and left Nick alone with his thoughts. He reflected on this day and concluded that it had been very nice to let all his worries fade away and just let his padding take care of everything. Of course it was scary to know that he would be pretty much unable to do anything normal without wearing a diaper, but now that he thought about it some more, he wasn't sure if it was a bad thing. Accepting that he needed diapers was certainly easier than regaining his bladder control. And the idea of always wearing a diaper seemed very nice. But he also thought about all the downsides. He had never worn a diaper outside. Nick got very scared when he thought about it. He would always be worried about others noticing his secret underwear. He would always need to make sure his diaper wasn't leaking, which he had no experience with. What if his diaper was full, and he needed a change. Would he have to do it in public? He didn't even know how to change his own diaper. The image of Jane changing his wet diaper in public did actually seem kind of exciting, but he knew it would be very impractical. The other option was wearing diapers thick enough to last him the entire time he was outside, which would probably result in him being caught. He could of course learn to change his own diapers, but Nick kind of liked that he needed his mom, it made him feel more helpless, even though it was very selfish.  He simply didn't know how he would deal with all of this, but the fact that he was so worried about it told him al least one thing. His fate of becoming a diaper dependent teenager was pretty much sealed. Nick was still awake when he felt another urge to pee. But unlike the last 100 times, he kind off didn't want to use his diaper. He had suddenly become somewhat terrified of what would happen if he continued down this path. He didn't want other people finding out he still wore diapers, wich was weird, because a few hours ago he had wished he was wearing a diaper during his exam. And if he was being honest with himself, he didn't even have any close connections that would be affected by him wearing diapers. He didn't really understand his own feelings, and maybe that was what scared him so much. After only a few minutes the faint urge had turned into an emergency. He was tossing and turning, trying to delay the inevitable. Nick knew wetting his diaper was the only option, he still had almost the entire night left, taking his diaper off would only result in a wet bed. He had wet them so many times, why did this time feel so different? This was the first time he felt stuck in diapers, he realized. Usually he was more than happy to wear and wet them, so he hadn't thought much about how it would be when the choice was taken away from him. And now all those times he had been to lazy to go to the toilet had finally caught up with him. I need diapers, Nick thought to himself yet again, and even if I want to, I can't take them off because I might have an accident. He sighed one more time before letting go. It was bad enough that he was once again filling his diaper, but the worst part was that he still enjoyed it. He loved the diaper swelling up between his legs, he loved the warmth, the comfort and the safety. Why did he have to be like this? He kept asking himself that question over and over again in the next few hours. What about that thick wet diaper between his legs made him feel so good. His mind drifted back to when he first started having accidents, it felt like it had only been yesterday. Yet he had been an entirely diffrent person back then. Nick wondered if those accidents may have awoken something in him. Had he become so scared of having accidents that he didn't want to be without protection ever again? But he knew that wasn't it, it had been annoying to wake up in a wet bed, but it wasn't traumatising or anything. No, it had started with both his curiosity and laziness. It had been so easy to lay in bed, or sit on the couch and just wet himself knowing that he was wearing a diaper that would absorb it. But now he had taken it to far, he had become so lazy that he had to actually rely on diapers. He didn't just wear them out of enjoyment. Though he had known that for quite a while by now. He simply didn't want to admit to himself that he was addicted, and now it was too late. He kind of missed those early days, it had felt so wrong to wet himself. He had still thought of himself as somewhat of an adult back then, wich made it feel so unusual to wear and wet diapers. Every time he had wet himself it was an adult choosing to wet his diapers. A lot of those choices had been taken away from him, it wasn't like he was incontinent (not yet), but his bladder was so weak that diapers almost were the only real option he had. On the other hand, it was kind of nice to not worry about it anymore. That was part of why he liked wearing them in the first place. The only thing that had changed was that he didn't have much choice about wetting them anymore, he simply just did. Back when he still did have a choice, he had rejected the toilet because toilet training seemed like a difficult task wich would take a lot of effort to reach, in fact, it may acually be impossible since Nick wouldn't able to stop wetting the bed. He had chosen the path of least resistance and it had only led him deeper into diaper dependence. I was always going to need diapers one way or another, Nick told himself. He was never going to be truly normal again. So wouldn't it be better to just lean into and just commit to wearing diapers. It would be a lot easier than try to live two conflicting lives at once. He wondered what his mom would think if she knew that her son was talking himself into becoming diaper dependent. Would she even mind it at this point. Ever since Nick had started needing protection, he felt like his mom had almost nudged him into diapers. She was the one who urged him to wear pull-ups, she was the one who suggested he needed better protection, she had been the one to suggest he wore diapers in the morning, and later in the evening as well. He didn't blame her, she had plenty of good reasons to make those suggestions, but still, she had shown more support for wearing diapers than for toilet training. He didn't know why she had done that, but he did know that it had played no small part in getting him to where he was now. The fact that she was so good at taking care of him didn't help either. Nick had to admit he kind of liked being treated like a child when he was in diapers. He liked it when she laid him down and diapered him in before bedtime. He liked having to wear his diaper out in the open so Jane could see if he had an accident. He liked it when she gave him a sudden diaper check. He liked her speeches about how he might still need protection. That's when something clicked for him.... he liked needing diapers. Even after all this time, he was a little surprised by this revelation, but he quickly realized that it was the truth. He was still processing this when he finally feel asleep.

I did. And I just re-read it now. The article does not say anything about any kind of backup or power failure failsafe. Only that the base unit is a valve connected to an implanted battery. It is programmed to cycle when the button is pressed. Where do you see any info about device failures or lost key fobs?

I NEVER considered lighting insofar as sleep...granted, I live in the dark, unless reading or working....RARELY have a light on unless it is needed with tiny blue LED lights marking the location of the walls in my living area.....of course, the TV is ALWAYS ON, either watching historical documentaries, NHL games (SOON! THANK YOU GOD!) learning about common failures (causes/corrections) on modern pieces of shit (EVERY daily driver car/truck made recently!) so I am not caught off guard when one inevitably finds me.  Think I will open a small engine shop once divorced, and hire a youngster, train him and then supervise...I do pay well! Always have as I learned PAID employees are loyal, honest and want to impress, learn, improve! Underpaid ones WILL steal (tools AND work!) and then they find themselves cornered in the garage by me....NOT an enviable place to be and I am NOT threatening physical violence, only they don't know that. Not stupid enough to do that, it is putting the fear of GOD into them but since I began paying people what they're worth (takes about 30 minutes/week to see how much they made you and it is usually 3-5x what you're paying them when they are paid WELL and best of all, no one would HAVE TO buy their own tools as I own 5 FULL toolboxes....and small engine work is INCREDIBLY easy...most can be done sitting at a workbench with good music pumping out of all 4 corner speakers LOL....plus seeing what the only other small engine shops in the area charge (for maintenance, not repairs...YIKES!) they are leaving me a WIDE GAP to make real money. But as always, sooner or later the lifts will go in, and i'll have to teach a new generation HOW to do frame off restorations (half kidding!) I can SO RELATE to leaving early in the morning (DARK and it being dark by 4:30PM, average time I got home being closer to 8, and then go lift although I have lifted from 11:50-2:30 more than a few times...but that is impossible anymore so at least I don't need to factor that in. You believe that kind of lighting REALLY has an effect on sleep cycles? I mean, mine was DESTROYED with the onset of my autoimmune issues which do not align perfectly with ANYTHING........When awake and feeling good (hot/humid out) I am still almost unstoppable but as soon as it is cool-downright cold? I am pretty much useless.

A soggy Attends diaper.