Trading Post

Remember that I like comments! Chapter 8: Episodes from Stef’s Life After Stef and Anette moved in with Helene and Mikkel and their children, there wasn’t enough space in their room for Stef’s rock collection. A few of his most beautiful rocks were displayed on a shelf, and the rest were packed away in a cardboard box. Helene and Mikkel considered throwing out the worthless rocks, but quickly realized how much they meant to Stef. When spring arrived and they could go outside, they offered to let Stef create a rock garden outside along the north gable of the house. It was shaded most of the day and quite dry, so only a few plants could grow there. Stef was enthusiastic. With Mikkel’s help, he cleared away grass and leveled the soil. On top, they laid a layer of fine gravel. Stef arranged his stones in neat rows and pressed them into the gravel. The result looked surprisingly nice. — From the beginning, Stef played with Ingegerd and Danielle a lot and got used to spending time with girls his own age. At school, he wasn’t afraid to talk to the girls in his class. They noticed that he could talk to them quite naturally without belittling them, as other boys often did. He was also interested in “girl topics.” During recess, he played soccer with the boys and skipped rope with the girls. He made friends with both girls and boys, but the two groups rarely played together. He especially loved playing physical games with the girls, such as skipping rope, hopping on one foot, Chinese jump rope, and clapping games. He also played board games, played with their dolls, and played house. With the boys, he played soccer and dodgeball, as well as tag and hide-and-seek. He also played board games and with their “dolls”—that is, action figures. — One Saturday afternoon when Stef was nine, he played with Maibritt and Anna in Anna’s backyard. Anna suggested, “Should we race three laps around the house? The loser has to do something for the winner.” They all agreed. They were all in good shape, but the girls had longer legs. Anna came in first, closely followed by Maibritt, who was a couple of meters ahead of Stef. Anna said, “You lost, Stef, so you have to do something for me.” “Yeah, what?” “You could try wearing girls’ clothes so you’re more like us.” “What do you mean? We’re all wearing pants and a shirt. It’s the same thing.” “Yeah, but when we go out and I have to look nice, Mom says I have to wear a dress. Do you want to try on my dress?” “Okay,” said Stef. They went inside to change. Shortly afterward, they stood in front of Anna’s parents. “Meet our new friend, 'Steffie,'” Anna announced. All three of them laughed and were clearly having fun. “Oh, lovely! What do you think about wearing a dress, Stef?” Anna’s mom asked. “It’s fun to try. I’ve never worn a dress before.” “No, I wouldn’t have thought so. Do you feel like a girl now?” “No, why would I? It’s just clothes.” “Yes, that’s true. Clothes don’t change who you are. Maybe all three of you should wear dresses so that Stef doesn’t stand out. But don’t get too rowdy out in the yard while you’re wearing them.” “Okay, Mom,” said Anna. “Come on, Maibritt, you can borrow a dress, too. Do you want to play Monopoly? Maybe my big brother Georg will want to join us.” A few hours later, when Stef had to go home for dinner, Anna and Maibritt decided to walk him home so they could show his family the dress. “It’s okay to try on a dress, Stef. But if you wanted to wear one regularly, you’d get some strange reactions, because boys don’t usually wear dresses in our society,” Helene said when they arrived. “Why would it be wrong for a boy to like wearing a dress? I prefer pants to skirts that flutter around when I walk, though. But it was fun to try." — Stef started going to Scouts when he was eight. He enjoyed the outdoor activities and learning basic survival skills. He remained a Scout throughout his school years

Oh about 45 minutes ago I did a sneaky poos in my tykables puppers nappy my nursery while picking out my pajamas for Mummy cause she's packing my suitcase in the lounge as we're going away for the week tomorrow to see some of mummy's family at the bottom of the south island. I was told once we finished packing was bedtime so quite convenient that I did a poopy. Mummy went up stairs to grab a couple of things for my suitcase. Might have done another poopy. Anyway she's back gloved up in blue disposable gloves with a overnight nappy which is a tykables overnights with a tykables booster. I've been told to get the nappy caddy out of the playroom as well as the nappy bags out of the bathroom. Had another stinky nappy change in the playroom this evening before dinner. Anyway gotta go or I'll be getting in trouble as it's almost bedtime.

I'll be 52 in 15 days time and... I have a full pack of diapers,  which practically never happens.  I virtually never have money for diapers in my birthday month. 

107. The Token Adult It was hard to believe how slowly the next couple of weeks went past. Tess and Spike might have done a few more things that could seem like a date, if you looked at them through the right lens. Like going shopping together, and buying each other little presents. Tess did occasionally wish that the guy she was closest to would respond to some primordial urge by pulling her close and holding her as tight as he could, but she was content once she accepted that it wasn’t going to happen. Closeness didn’t have to mean physically touching; and she was pretty sure they already had the important things. They had gone together to Malarkey & Sons a few times, and Isaac had said that they looked like a cute couple, leaving both to blush and stammer incoherently. But it was clear now that anyone who knew them could see there was something there, even if they weren’t sure what it was. Tess got occasional messages from the clinic to confirm that blood tests had ruled out one reason or another for Tess’s problem. Slowly, the solutions were narrowing down on a psychological cause, or on an exotic parasite that the less-advanced equipment at the clinic couldn’t detect. Tess was willing to dismiss anything mental now,because she no longer had anything real to worry about. The only thing worrying her besides the bedwetting itself had been her cousin’s bizarre behaviour and attempts to treat her like a little kid. All things she was on top of now. But this morning in particular, Tess was nervous from the moment she woke up. She immediately felt different because she wasn’t wearing a diaper, and the room that greeted her eyes wasn’t decorated in the usual riot of pinks and yellows. Today was the day; a very important day. She didn’t want the slightest trace of childish thought to invade her mind, so she had chosen to sleep in the spare room for once. It was something she had done a few times now, in an effort to distance herself from the childish decor of Gabby’s nursery. But she had found out pretty quickly that the small room made it awkward and inconvenient to get cleaned up if she woke up wet, and a lot more hassle to change the sheets when her diaper leaked. It was usually easier to sleep in the nursery, and to wear the adult-baby diapers which at least seemed to be reliable. Today was different. It was an important day, and one for which she wanted to have all her wits about her. She wasn’t diapered at all, and the night before she had asked Ffrances to tell her not to have an accident. Even Gabby hadn’t insisted on treating her like a child last night. Tess had been sure that her cousin would talk to her like a baby in the morning; she always seemed to treat Tess as more of a child if she slept in the other room, maybe because she was trying to compensate for the change on some level. But today was fine; Gabby wasn’t even awake when Tess and Ffrances left the house. The school bus wouldn’t come for another half hour yet. A big part of Tess’s current anxiety, and the reason she was munching on a salmon rocket bagel in the car, was that they needed to be at school early. Tess was a little surprised that they didn’t stop at Pine Ridge to pick up Spike, but Ffrances explained that he had wanted to check on his siblings. Even if the option was always open to him, he would only stay in Ffrances’s office when he really didn’t feel safe at home, and only when he was confident that his absence wouldn’t cause more problems for his mother. They met at the school gates. Spike was just standing there, waiting in silence, and Tess gasped when she saw him. It was clear to see how serious this was for him, and how much it was bothering him. It was a glimpse into a side of him she had never expected to see. She knew him as the guy who always had the answers; the mature and responsible one who could fix anything. But like this, he looked so vulnerable that she couldn’t believe it was the same person. She half expected him to start crying if it didn’t go well, and that made her even more determined to ensure that everything went perfectly today. Ffrances pulled the car up and let Tess out, then called to ask if they needed her to stay. She would be heading to work soon, but she was happy to call in and ask them to wait an hour if someone needed her. “We got this,” Tess said firmly. “It’s just procedure. Thanks, but I know we can do this ourselves. I’ll let you know when it’s sorted.” “Thank you,” Spike added, in a voice so small that it was debatable whether Ffrances would have heard. But she drove away, leaving two teenagers at the front entrance to a school that was still almost empty. As they walked in, they headed straight for the offices. There weren’t many classes around there, and any teachers who had already started working weren’t overly keen on dealing with the administrative parts of the building. The wood-panel corridors were quiet this early in the day, and they didn’t see anyone else until they arrived at the room number that Spike had written on a little notecard. He checked the card three times; Tess had committed the number to memory. Tess knew that she didn’t need to worry. They were entitled to demand a safeguarding meeting, it was a fundamental part of child protection law. This wasn’t what it was normally meant for, but was covered under the legislation. And she had read up on all the relevant stuff in the school’s policies to make sure that they were talking to the right people who could do what needed to be done. It should be an easy meeting, there was nothing that could go wrong. Tess told herself that she was only worried because it was so important. It was the magnitude of the task, rather than the difficulty, that magnified it in her mind. But that wasn’t quite true, was it? Spike was worried because this was a threshold that he needed to cross in order to prove himself to his father. And Tess was worried just because Spike was upset. She felt disappointed in herself for not being able to protect him from all this stress. She didn’t ever want to see him worrying like this, if she could do the task for him, and she felt bad that she’d had to ask him to take on part of the process himself. If he felt bad, it was like she was letting him down; she should be able to protect him from the harsh parts of the world. She took his hand, and gave him a smile. She wanted to reassure him, but when he looked back at her it seemed like the contact was all he needed.  He forced a smile, and then they knocked together. Tess vaguely knew Mr Mason. He had taught her English for a part of last year, as well as being Spike’s head of year right now. He was a very serious man with a beard that looked like it had been painted on, and a vaguely puzzled smile.  She didn’t know any of the other people seated at desks around the room, but they were probably just the administrative staff. “So…” Mason started. “What kind of problem brings you two to me? I haven’t heard any complaints of bullying this far. And I have to say that it is quite unusual for a meeting like this to be called out of the blue. I hope that you two aren’t wasting our time over trivial issues.” “No, Sir,” Spike answered nervously. “I mean… it’s my problem. Tess is here because she knows the rules. And you’re the only person we could ask who has the authority to deal with this.” “Then you have a problem with someone on the staff here? I have to say, Mr Torrance, that if you–” “No,” Tess interrupted firmly. “Let’s get this meeting off on the right foot. Please do not address him by that name.” She knew that she was being unnecessarily argumentative; but she could also see that Mr Mason had assumed this was a bullying or abuse problem, and immediately attempted to minimise it in the hope of getting himself out of some work. She had to make this as simple as possible for him, so that the easiest way for the senior teacher to respond was signing the paperwork. She held out her hand, and Spike reached into his pocket for the new passport. “You think we should be on first name terms? I’m afraid that this is a formal preceding, Miss Naylor. I’m not sure of the circumstances of this meeting, but I believe it would be inappropriate to treat you as equals.” “I’m just asking you to get his name right. The student handbook, as well as your online guidance for parents, confirms that a safeguarding meeting is the correct medium for correcting a factual error in the student records. Please look at the name on Spike’s passport. It doesn’t say Torrance in there.” “A clerical error?” Mason muttered in disbelief. “Surely the administrative staff…” “Not quite, Sir,” said a younger man sitting to his right, before whispering a few words. “There are unique issues, Sir,” Tess said. “Spike’s parents are unable or unwilling to complete the relevant paperwork in this case. And as he is considered at risk by Ashfields District Social Services, he is entitled to request a safeguarding meeting if he needs to engage in any administrative procedure with the expectation that his current guardians not be notified. We are simply requesting that you sign the forms to state that you accept this declaration on behalf of the school without the usual parents’ signatures. Trust me, if this could be resolved without involving the Head of Year, we would have done so. Admin staff could accept these documents from his parents, but from Spike himself it would require your signature. That’s the procedure.” Mason looked down at the forms she was handing him, all neatly completed and just needing a signature. Tess could just tell that he was going to argue. Some people needed to flex their muscles, even if they didn’t have any real power. And she was surprised to realise that she wasn’t scared. She could see how much stress this was putting Spike under, and now she was angry. But at the same time she was flying; she knew the law, and she knew their rights. It felt like this was what she was made for; and she knew that she wouldn’t let anyone get away with hurting Spike. She shot down every argument the teacher came up with, and eventually fell back on quoting sections and clauses from the relevant law. There was an explicit mention of schools in the law that defined legal names; and there was an absolute requirement for them to accept the name shown on a student’s passport if one existed. She could also cite chapter and verse on why the previous name change filed by Duke Torrance was legally invalid, and why the school’s acceptance of it could be challenged in court. And, quoting a completely different book of case law, she knew why it would be illegal for the school to pass any details of the meeting on to Duke. “Very well, Mr… Luger,” Mason eventually conceded. “We will consider the documentation you have provided, and consider your request to adjust your student record.” “Thank you,” Spike gasped. He was shaking now, and Tess could feel it in his hand, but he wouldn’t let it show. “Yes, thank you,” she agreed. “But if I may be pedantic… the word you are looking for is ‘instruction’, not ‘request’.” Tess didn’t know if Mr Mason had any legal training, but it felt good to say it anyway. There was a very specific meaning of the word ‘instruction’, she knew, and it hinted at the possibility of seeing someone in court if it wasn’t followed. She half hoped that he would understand, and would know that she was entirely serious. Her heart was pounding after the door closed behind them, but she wouldn’t let Spike see how nervous she was. He was shaking, and he needed some support now. She was ready to do everything possible to make sure that he was comfortable again, and didn’t have to worry as he did ordinary, age-appropriate things like attending lessons and being adored by all his friends.

I forget what the brand is, first try of them. Little on the small side for me so using a washable disper to help hold it in place. Also added a couple of boosters.  Just woke up so needed to pee, had to relax to be able to go but thats why i ware. So i can relax