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Loved this chapter I hope Adam is okay

its day 30! thats 1 whole month of 24/7 diapers 🥳  i have a nice chunky update for you all. firstly, my love for diapers has been unwavering. i still love diapers just as much if not more than a month ago and i feel so much more "myself" being padded all the time.  on day 26, i noted: "my peeing has seemingly yet again become more frequent. i easily peed 20 times yesterday, small volumes that trickle out slowly. im not sure how big my voids are but i feel like 100-200ml, just a guess, maybe i should actually measure it in the future.. but yeah, peeing a lot, still have to consciously let go most of the time but it often only takes me 10 seconds to release it now especially if im sat at my pc or laying on my back (my 2 most common positions)."  on day 29, i noted: "im dribbling more and more these last few days, and it feels like the dribbles are getting bigger too. sometimes i will shift in my seat and a little pee will come out. squeezing my tummy muscles forces some dribbles to come out too. i think its the beginning of stress incontinence? then today i was calling my friend and we were talking and suddenly i felt a big trickle go down my thigh into my padding. i wasnt even releasing my bladder, it just came out on its own. if i hadnt been padded there wouldve certainly been a visible wet patch. i hope this continues to happen 😍"  so things are going pretty great i'd say  i've been trying the "age co total care slip maxi" diapers and i will say, they do hold a lot and are really good value, but the cut particularly at the front is very low which i don't enjoy and it means they aren't as snug as i'd like and will fall down when full. i like when my pampers cover the lower half of my tummy, it feels much more secure. the tapes are also really small and not very strong, sooo i wont be buying these ones again. in better news i ordered 4x sunkiss masterpiece and 4x sunkiss trustplus overnights as they were finally in stock for bulk orders, yippee!  i get a slight itchy irritation for a couple of days after i shave but still no full on diaper rash, which im really happy about. my religious wiping, barrier cream and powdering seems to be paying off  im going to see my nurse for my T injection this week. its an intramuscular injection so it goes in my upper buttock. in other words, she will definitely see my diaper. it'll be interesting 🤭 i'm not particularly shy or worried about it. if she asks anything i will say ive been dealing with stress incontinence, which at this point is the truth... i really couldnt imagine trying to wear big boy underwear again - i'd be leaving little wet spots everywhere!  bowel control (or lack thereof) seems about the same. i mess myself usually once or twice a day, promptly clean up and change like it's no big deal. diaper changes feel normal and comforting to me. i will say, its very hard if not impossible for me to pee when i need to poop. which i guess in this case is a good thing as it means i cant try holding my poop in unless i want to be uncomfortably holding my bladder, too.  let's hope my control dwindles further this next month! 🎉 

Always Read the Small Print - Chapter 3 “Oh I just thought I’d save you the hassle of doing it!” Oscar lied. He knew he had to lie but deep down he knew Joanne has found him out. “Oscar, come on just tell me the truth. You wet the bed didn’t you?” Joanne asked him politely with a knowing expression. Oscar just gave her an embarrassed look, he didn’t need to say anything. “I…. I’m so sorry, this genuinely has never happened before… I must’ve… it was because I drank too much water before bed!”. “Shush shush you’ll wake up John, and I don’t want to bother him with this. You go upstairs and have a shower I’ll deal with this” Joanne came over to him and put her hand on his shoulder supportively. He was expecting her to be cross with him but instead she showed warmth. Oscar nodded and rushed back up to his room and straight into the shower. As the hot water cascaded down onto his bowed head and shoulders, he began to cry. It was possibly the Most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him. He’d only known these people for a matter of days and he’d done something he’d not done since he was a little kid… pissed the bed. As he opened the door he immediately noticed the plastic sheet had disappeared from his bed, and assumed Joanne had been in and removed it. He quickly threw on some boxers, a creased t-shirt and some shorts and went down for breakfast. He was pretty quite while eating and Joanne and John simply chatting with eachother. At the first opportunity he could get, he escaped the house and continued to explore the town. He thought going anywhere would be better than be stuck in the house with Joanne, so he went to a local nature reserve and went for a walk to try and clear his head. Despite the surroundings being beautiful, he couldn’t get the events of the morning out of his head. He tried to think of reasons as to why it happened but he couldn’t think of anything rational, he’d not done anything differently before bed. Combined with the near miss the night before, he was genuinely dreading going to bed. After his nature walk he headed into town and went to Waterstones to buy himself a new book. After half an hour of browsing, he bought himself a history book and has he left the shop he took a sharp left and bumped into a woman who was entering. She dropped her handbag and he apologised and picked it up. “Oh god I’m so sorry, here you go” Oscar said as she handed the bag to the woman. “Not your fault I wasn’t looking where I was going! Hey, do I know you?” The woman replied. Oscar instantly recognised her as the beautiful girl from the coffee shop the previous day, and he instantly blushed. “I think you served me a latte in the cafe down the road yesterday?”. “Oh yes of course, I remember your strange accent! You aren’t from around here are you?” The woman asked. “No I’m from England, near London. I’m starting at St Andrews in a week or so” Oscar explained. “That’ll explain it. Let me see if I can remember your name… Oscar isn’t it?” The woman smiled. “Yep that’s right, your name is…?” Oscar smirked. “Sorry of course! I’m Shannon. See you around Oscar, I’m sure you’ll be back in for a coffee!” Shannon chuckled as she walked into Waterstones. The interaction was bittersweet for Oscar. He was happy that he now knew her name, but also he should’ve pushed harder but his anxiety got the better of him. As he walked away the worry of the situation at home came flooding back, and he really didn’t know what else to do to avoid facing it so he decided to head back to the house. He was giving himself a pep talk for a good half an hour as he walked back. Just as he walked around the corner and the house came into view, he saw John had just arrived home and was getting out the car. He spotted Oscar and waved at him. “Alright lad, where have you been?” John asked as he shut his car door. “Oh just been for a bit of a walk and got myself a new book, how about you?” Oscar replied politely. “Just had to head into my companies office to deal with a crisis, all good now though!” John replied. “You want a cuppa or anything? Joanne won’t be back from her life drawing class for a few hours”. Oscar accepted the invitation and they had a cup of tea together in the kitchen. It did calm his nerves slightly, and he sensed that John was unaware of what happened earlier. He retreated back to his room and decided to crack on with his university onboarding forms, but not before noticing fresh sheets were on his bed. Much to his dismay, they were bright pink with small embroidered strawberries all over. “She’s laughing at me” he thought. Time passed like nothing and soon it was time to go downstairs for dinner. He considered skipping it but he didn’t want to be a bad house guest, so he slowly made his way down and instantly made eye contact with Joanne, who just smiled back at him. It was a frosty atmosphere around the table as they ate shepherds pie. Once everyone was done Joanne insisted he joined her and John in the living room as she took some ice cream out of the freezer. “Oscar, can we talk for a minute?” Joanne asked him as she handed him a bowl of ice cream as he sits down on one of the sofas. Oscar felt the sweat on his forehead as he knew the moment was coming. “Yeah sure what about?” Oscar asked, despite knowing exactly what she was about to say. “It’s about this morning. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble and as long as it’s a one off then we won’t speak about it again. But we have to mention it as if it happens again you’ll be aware that we’ll need to put measures in place to avoid any further damage to our property” Joanne clarified. “Oh yeah it’s a one off for sure, I’m so sorry. Can you remind me of what it says in the contract?” Oscar asked. “I can’t remember for sure but it’s point 17 or 18 I think, something along the lines of ‘if there are consecutive nights of the soiling of bedsheets, further preventative measures will be put in place’” John chimed in. “We put some extra points in our contract due to our previous lodger being a bedwetter, as you already know. I guess at least the waterproof sheet was on the bed!” Joanne laughed. Oscar simply fake smiled and once again he reassured it wouldn’t happen again. After finishing off his ice cream he announced he was going to his room and said his good nights, but one last embarrassing moment occurred when Joanne reminded him that he should use the toilet before going to sleep. After brushing his teeth and squeezing as much wee out of him as possible, he once again tucked himself up in bed and fell straight asleep, with his fingers crossed that there wouldn’t be a repeat of the night before. Oscar found himself in a bright kitchen, sat at the dining table. What was strange that he looked down and noticed he was in a white plastic high chair, and he was wearing a bright green plastic bib, which was coated in tomato sauce. He looked at his hands and they were also covered in sauce, and on the tray at the front of the high chair was a plastic plate with a few pieces of spaghetti in. - 8 days before starting university - Oscar was woken up by the banging on his bedroom door, and he groggily moved his head so he could look at the door, but just as he could see it clearly through the rays of sun Joanne barged in. “Morning sleepyhead, you’re missing breakfast!” Joanne announced as she opened the door and entered the room. “Uhhhh, sorry must’ve slept through my alarm” Oscar murmured, still half asleep. “Yes you mus….” Joanne stopped and sniffed the air. “Oscar get up. Now”. Oscar noticed the change in her tone and as he adjusted, he realised why she had done so. He once again felt the dampness under his duvet and Joanne must’ve picked up on the smell. Without warning she ripped off the duvet to reveal Oscar laying in a high dark patch on the bed, and the dark patch was also covering the front of his green boxers. “Oh Oscar, thought you said this was a one off? Up you get help me strip the bed” Joanne asked him, and he couldn’t even think of any words. He simply complied. They stripped the bed, including the waterproof sheet, and Joanne put them in a basket. “Pants too Oscar. Quickly while I’m not looking” Joanne barked as she turned her head. With tears in his eyes, Oscar pulled his pants down and left them on the floor as he went into the shower. He clean himself up and dressed himself before walking downstairs with his head bowed. “Morning Oscar, sorry to hear about your bad night” John greeted him as he sat down at the table. He could hear Joanne loading the washing machine in the other room. Oscar was reserved and clearly embarrassed, but luckily neither Joanne and John addressed the elephant in the room. The day went way too quickly for Oscar’s liking. He mostly kept to himself in his room, before being called downstairs by Joanne, and as he looked at the clock it had just past 3pm. He found Joanne in the living room with a plastic Tesco bag on the floor next to her as she sat down on the sofa. “Hey sweety, had a good day?” Joanne asked as he joined her in the living room. “Yeah good, just sorting stuff out for university” Oscar replied shyly. “Sounds like you’re being very organised! Sorry to bother you, but I need to show you something, something that’s going to help with what has happened the past few mornings” Joanne explained as she laid a hand on the plastic bag beside her. “Oh thanks but I’m fine, I must have just drank too much before bed I’m sure it’s nothing serious” Oscar tried to find an excuse not to talk about the bedwetting but he knew she wouldn’t drop it. “Well I’m sorry Oscar but as you know you’ve breached part of your contract so I’ve got no choice but to do something about it. As you know, consecutive wet beds means we need to put some measures in place. Therefore, I’ve bought you these” Joanne explained as she pulled out a square package out of the bag ever so slightly. “They are called Ninjamas Pyjama Pants, they are special pants for you to wear to bed to help with any leaks”. “Those are pullups aren’t they? I’m 18 I’m not wearing those” Oscar got defensive. “Well Oscar I’m sorry you’ve got no choice, either you wear them or I’ll have to ask you to leave. Tell you what, if you keep them dry for two nights in a row I won’t make you wear them again, deal?” Joanne suggested. “I’m not sure about this, but what choice do I have?” Oscar said, embarrassed about the thought of wearing a pullup. “Well done Oscar, a very mature choice. There’s no shame in wearing them no one else will know. Here you go, take them up to your room” Joanne held out the plastic bag. Oscar stood on the spot for a few seconds before reluctantly taking the bag out of her hands. He sighed and went back up to his room and put it down next to the door before trying his best to ignore them as he continued his prep for university. He couldn’t believe what was happening, why was he wetting the bed? He’d never come close to doing it since he was a toddler and now all of a sudden he had pissed himself in his sleep twice in two nights. He couldn’t help but admit it had scared him. Dinner that evening came and went, and just before he went back to his room Joanne pulled him aside as John made his way into the living room. “Hey Oscar, can I ask you a favour?” Joanne asked. “Ummm yeah, sure?” Oscar replied. “Do you mind if you went and put on a pair of your new pants on now? I just want to check you’ve got them on right before you disappear into your room for the night” Joanne asked politely and she smiled at him as he asked. “Yeah… do I actually have to wear one of those? Surely there’s another way?” Oscar pleaded as a final option. “Afraid not, it’s either wear one or find somewhere else to stay. Sorry Oscar, you did sign the contract. Go on, put one on and I won’t keep talking about them” Joanne pleased. Oscar huffed and nodded his head and he made his way to his room and shut the door behind him. As the door shut the plastic bag with the package inside was in plain view, and he felt a nervous feeling in his tummy and he walked towards it and slowly extracted the packet from the bag. As he held it in his hands he read out the wording on the front: “Ninjamas Pyjama Pants. Discreet protection up to 12 hours. Looks and feels like real underwear. Ages 8-12” he read out. As he looked at the package, he blushed as he realised the style Joanne had bought him were in fact the girls design, and on the front was a young girl doing a karate kick, with a diagram of the pullup. He cringed at the sight of the pullup, which was predominantly white with a teal waistband, complete with hearts in various sizes and colours all over. “You’re joking” he argued as he saw the design of the pullup. He was confused as to why she would buy him the girls design, but at the back of his mind the threat of being thrown out of the house was too dangerous to ignore. He was hundreds of miles away from home and didn’t know anyone else in the area. Reluctantly, he just had to get on with it and not wet the bed for the next two nights and this would all be over. He stripped down and carefully opened the packet with trepidation. As he pulled out a pair he quickly realised the claim that they ‘look like real underwear’ on the front was clearly a ruse, as they felt fluffy and bulky as he held it in his hand, and as he opened up the waist he noticed there was a considerable amount of padding in the middle. To get it over and done with as quickly as possible he stepped into the pullup and pulled it up over his crotch and bum. As it snapped into place he felt the weird sensation of having padding envelope his penis and balls and press up against his bum. It wasn’t thick but was somewhat noticeable. As he turned to the right he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. There he was, an 18 year old boy wearing a pair of pink girly pullups. He was surprised how well they fit him considering they were meant for girls ages 8-12, and his pasty hairless legs only made the pullup look more colourful. Embarrassed, he threw on a pair of checkered pyjama shorts and a grey t-shirt and sat down on his bed and took out his phone in a vain attempt to distract his mind. However, as he sat on the bed he could feel the slight bulk under his shorts, as well as the softness of the waistband tucked underneath his thin torso. “Oscar, are you decent in there? Can I come in?” Joanne said as she knocked on his door. He rushed and pulled up his pyjama shorts extra high so his pullup wasn’t visible. “Come in” he said quietly. “Hey Oscar, I just wanted to check if you had put your special pants on?” Joanne asked as he clasped her hands infront of her. “Ummm, yeah I do” Oscar sheepishly responded as he adjusted his position so his feet were now flat on the floor as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Good. Don’t worry I’m not going to ask this every night, but can you show me just so I can check if you have them on properly? Our preview lodger Paul used to leak sometimes because he hadn’t put them on properly and I want to avoid that if possible. Stand up please it’ll only take a second” Joanne explained as she gestured for Oscar to get into his feet. After some hesitation he did. “Shorts down” Joanne asked firmly. Oscar slowly pulled down his shorts to reveal the bright colourful pullup. He watched as Joanne smiled and peered around him just to check it was on properly. After a few seconds she returned to standing infront of him. “Well looks like you’ve nailed it first time, well done! I’m sorry about not having any boys ones they were all sold out in Tesco, but I think these ones suit you!” Joanne said as she playfully tugged at the side of the pullup, which made Oscar flinch. “Goodnight, make sure you don’t take it off until after breakfast so I can see how you did in the night” Joanne added as she left him at peace and shut the door behind him. He stood there for a minute ago a bit shellshocked by what just happened. How could he let that happen to himself? He realised how vulnerable a position he’d put himself in by lodging with two complete strangers and how he’d let the situation get so out of his control. He wanted to say something and resist Joanne’s controlling nature but he realises he signed a document and she’s only carrying out what he agreed to. He decided to make it his mission tomorrow to read the contract he’d signed in full and see if there was any way he could escape it. As he laid in bed, he fell asleep with a determined attitude. Little did he know, the situation was about to completely slip from his grasp.

Actually... it's not weird at all. I'm writing this from the perspective of a Big, and that means a few things. The first story focused on a Little, which is one of the reasons that Patrick's fellow Littles were more emphasized than the nurses or rest of the staff. He cared about those who he was interacting with... not the random nurse down the hall picking up toys. There is a reason that a large part of that story was mystery and the unknown and unpreditability of what was going to happen in the end. Patrick wasn't on the inside so everything that happened to him and the reveal of it all was always new to him (and you all as the readers).  This story though, Nurse Addy (and you all as well, presuming you read the first) knows the plot of the Littles here at Psyche. Being involved with the board and managment though, she also knows about the subtle hypnosis and minor drugs already and the back channels of this place and a higher-level view. She's focused more on the staff, like the other nurses and even the cook Federica. She only focuses on other Littles when they mess with her own and not necessarily worrying about all the other's own treatments and ills. She's also unsure of her place at the moment, for now only focusing on helping Oliver, but you all will see that a change is happening with her that's just about to kick off.  Also, looking at this trilogy as a whole, this story is the 'turn.' The first got your all's feet wet to this universe. I made sure to introduce conflicts that were on-going throughout the series, but you all needed to know the rules before we got into some of the more background details. Which is where this story comes into place. With a Big as the main POV, Addy knows more and sees more in this society naturally. She's still learning things, but this is when things shift from more personal medical to more company-wide. Make no mistake, Juventas deals with drugs and medical procedures, so it's still here, but Addy will be seeing a broader picture very soon. And no spoilers, but the final story will focus on one Little in particular and conclude both his storyline and the rest I've already started.  Sorry for the long explanation, but no... I don't think your thought is weird. I've been meaning to note this for a bit, but yes... a Big did 'write this.' Just like a 'Little wrote' the first story. And it's dramatic because Juventas is corrupt and Oliver is dying. When you have those two simple yet crazy events, a lot of things become chaotic for our would-be protagnoist caught in the middle of both storms. 

Got on a kick this weekend :3  --- Chapter 33 --- Sarah was graceful enough in conversation to pivot to casual catch-up, giving Greg a reprieve to let his reddened skin return to its normal hue. She gushed about the changes going on at her job in the wake of Mrs. Beaumont’s meddling: the school was going to be opening up another Maturosis class due to high demand, and Sarah was being interviewed for the junior teacher position. He drained his coffee quickly throughout this update, feeling his throat was consistently dry and needing lubrication, so he switched to water. “Are you ready for the hearing?” she asked once she ran out of updates on her end. “Actually, Abner told me not to prepare,” he frowned, giving a half-shrug. “He wants my recounting to be authentic.” “Oh, that’s - wow, is that how it usually goes?” she puzzled curiously, looking up in thought. “No, my dad would practice a lot,” he shook his head as he looked down at the table, scratching his chin. “But his cases were all business-related, so he needed to stick to a script. I think because this is so… personal, he wants the emotion to be real.” “Oohh,” she hummed in understanding and nodded, reaching a hand out for his. “Can I still come? I already have the day off.” “Of course,” he flashed a smile as he took her hand, and she squeezed. Wanting to get off the topic, he felt a jolt of a reminder, and he took in a breath. “Oh, I should tell you – I’ve hired Kelly as a live-in nanny. She moved in yesterday.” Sarah’s hand tensed up for a moment, and her body stiffened; he swallowed as he stared down at her hand. “Really?” she pushed out in a higher register than normal. “Yeah, I could use the help,” he sighed as he reflected on how much of a help her presence had been lately, both around the house and personally. “Plus, Charlie adores her. He’s thrilled.” Sarah hummed as her arm tensed up for a beat, then she squeezed his hand, and he looked up at her, seeing a smirk and an arched eyebrow. “You were smart to wait to tell me this until after explaining the silent treatment,” she snorted as she released his hand and used it to rest her chin, giving him a wink. “Maybe you know what you’re doing after all.” “Sorry,” he murmured with a blush and a grin, rubbing under his nose nervously. Sarah pursed her lips and shook her head playfully, waving her hand as she crossed her legs and leaned back. “Does that mean you’re freeing up time for more things like the fundraiser?” she asked as she placed her hands in her lap. “I don’t know yet,” he shrugged, instinctively reaching for the bill as the waiter approached, but Sarah clicked her tongue and grabbed it, causing him to grin and incline his head. “I’m sure Saki would love that. But I’d like to get through the hearing first.” “One thing at a time,” she echoed his sentiment with a nod as she signed the receipt. “In the meantime, I’d be happy to look into charities you may be interested in, or places you might want to donate to.” “That’d be great, thank you,” he smiled, trying not to laugh at the idea of Sarah knowing what charities would interest him, but it was a sweet offer he was willing to try. Once paid up, they stepped outside and walked towards the parking lot; he blinked in surprise when she wrapped her arm around his and leaned against him. “Do you want me to come to the house or meet you at the courthouse?” “House,” he replied stoically, holding back his sigh. “We’ll be in, uh… a convoy of sorts.” “Convoy?” she puzzled, looking up at him. “Yeah, my mom’s friends got involved,” he grumbled, maneuvering them towards Sarah’s parked car. “So it’s a big production now. Limos, private security, reporters…” “Limos!” she gasped and laughed nervously when she saw his grimacing reaction. “Sorry, this is all new to me.” “I get it,” he grinned with a slight shrug. “If this were something more exciting or positive, I might not mind. But I was hoping to keep this…” “Quiet?” she asked rhetorically with a scoff as she released his arm, giving him a teacher’s look as she put her hands on her hips. “I think that ship sailed when the video went viral.” Greg pursed his lips as he looked over her head, knowing there was truth in that, but even so… it would have at least been a quieter ordeal if people had just let him and Abner deal with it. “I guess,” he acquiesced with a slight smile. “Thank you… for coffee… your understanding…” “Of course,” Sarah beamed at him and was quick to step up for a hug, wrapping her arms around him within a blink. He paused, surprised, but returned the hug with a warm smile. “Have a nice, relaxing day tomorrow so you’re ready for the hearing.” “Will do. Thanks,” he smiled gratefully as she stepped back and pulled out her car keys. They said their goodbyes, and he waited until she was in her car before walking away to his, and let out a massive sigh when he was in the driver’s seat with the door shut. He stared at the brick wall for a moment, then down at the steering wheel as he stared at the car, as Sarah’s voice echoed in his mind. ‘That’s the cutest, silliest thing I’ve ever heard.’ He felt his cheeks flush, and he grinned the whole drive home.   Entering the home, Greg arched an eyebrow at the silence, having expected them to be nearby since Kelly’s car was still here. He tossed his keys into the nearby bowl and sniffed, glancing upwards as he called out, “Veronica? Where are Charlie and Kelly?” “Charlie and Kelly are in the smoking room,” she announced, and after a pause, she added, “Charlie does not need a change.” Within seconds of that, he heard the smoking door open to Kelly laughing as Charlie shouted, “WHAT THE HELL?!” “Hi,” Greg laughed in a greeting, making his way towards them as he exaggerated a shrug regarding Veronica. “The smoking room? That’s new.” “Yeah, we’re repurposing it,” the Little brother grinned. “It’s not like this room has been used in years, and Mom always hated it anyway.” “True,” the Amazon brother nodded, frowning curiously as he approached. It was an old-fashioned room, both in its use and decor, where their father would smoke cigars, alone or with his friends. As he got older, he had grown suspicious that it had been their father’s way of manufacturing a full retreat. Neither of them was allowed in the room (at least, he wasn’t until he turned 18), and their mother never went in there, so it was a guarantee of privacy and silence. “This wasn’t my idea,” Kelly blurted out nervously as she stepped forward in the door, and Charlie scoffed nonsense at her as he waved her away. Greg gaped as he stepped through the door, his eyes immediately landing at the center of the room, where the massive circular table that once hosted a display of cigars was home to an old western miniature train set. “Whoa, where did that come from?” he marveled as he stepped towards it. “It’s Kelly’s. Turn it on!” Charlie demanded as he pointed to Kelly. She squeaked happily as she stepped up to the large control panel on the table and flicked a metal switch. There was a clicking noise that ran over the tracks, and the train gave a few whistles as it sprang to life and began to hum. “Up, up!” the Little demanded as he reached up to Kelly, and she quickly pulled him up to her hip. “Sounds like… a kettle?” Greg asked as he leaned forward, squinting at the front car. “Good ear!” Kelly bubbled with a nod, skirting around the table to move closer to the train set. She pointed to the car immediately behind the first one, which looked like it carried coal, but was just a plastic mold. “The front car is very much like a kettle, boiling the water and using the steam to propel it forward. The coal car is where you can have extra water –” she pointed to a small rubber valve at the top of the coal stack. “–which feeds into the main car as the water boils down, so it lasts longer.” “Wow, that’s really cool,” Greg gushed as he leaned closer to the train, inspecting its details, believing he spotted the water line connecting the two cars. “So, it’s okay?” she asked nervously, and Charlie rolled his eyes. “The train?” Greg asked, confused. “See?” Charlie laughed, gesturing to his brother as he shot an exhausted look up at Kelly. “Using this room,” she clarified with a blush, biting her lower lip as she chuckled. “Oh,” Greg mouthed, glancing to his brother, then back at her, and shrugged. “Of course.” “SEE?!” exasperated Charlie, and Kelly hung her head for a moment as she laughed, hugging him. “I just - I wanted to make sure -” “She doesn’t think I can make these decisions, Greg!” he gasped. “No - that’s not - I just -” she stammered. “BIG BIAS!” he shouted at the top of his lungs and waved his arms around dramatically, giving Kelly the hint that he was teasing her, and she let out a small, relieved sigh before shaking her head at him. “How was it?” she asked as she pulled a chair over and took a seat, setting Charlie in her lap. “It was good,” Greg answered as he followed her lead, pulling over one of the high, winged back leather chairs up to the table. The train sounded close to hitting the boiling point. “We… we’re good.” “No breakup?” Kelly gasped with a smile, but Charlie curled his nose up, not bothering to hide his disappointment. “No,” he admitted quietly, keeping his eyes glued to the train. “We’re going to, uh… just… take it slow.” “Oooh, good,” she bubbled as she squeezed Charlie, who rolled his eyes. “I’m happy for you.”   Most of the evening had been spent as a group, re-arranging the furniture in the now ‘Vintage Toy Room’, taking pieces out that didn’t fit, and shoving them in the billiards room. Charlie spent much of that heavy-lifting time finding a suitable playpen to buy on Greg’s phone to put in this room, so any guests could reason that he hung out here with her when she worked on restoration. Plus, he was able to add the oversized porcupine stuffed animal to the cart that he had wanted for a while, preemptively naming him Mr. Prickles. They ate their delivered Yamatoan dinner in that room, grabbing the fake money from the board game ‘Profit!’ to place bets on toy robots and racing them. Kelly won the most by the end, though Charlie claimed that it was due to “insider information.” Greg took the leftovers to the kitchen and made his way into the office with every intention to check on his messages, but his eye was caught by Charlie as he entered from the other doorway. “Greggyyyy,” Charlie greeted as he sauntered in. “Yes?” he grinned down at his brother, pretty confident about what he was coming in here for. “Can we talk?” the Little brother asked nonchalantly, glancing off to the side at some books to act like this was casual. “Sarah?” Greg mused. “Sarah,” Charlie nodded. Chuckling, Greg moved to the pair of winged back chairs flanking the hidden-liquor cabinet globe and collapsed into the chair with a heavy thud. Charlie meandered over to the other chair and climbed up, taking his sweet time while the Amazon brother pulled over a leg rest and reclined. Setting his elbows on the arms, he slid down a bit while the Little brother sat cross-legged in the chair, facing inward. “So,” Charlie said as he cleared his throat. “So…” Greg echoed, turning his head to grin at his brother. There was a long pause as they held each other’s gaze, then Charlie threw his arms out. “What the hell, man?!” Greg laughed, dropping his head and nodding, then threw his hands up in the air in a more casual way. “I don’t know, Charlie,” he admitted as he shook his head. “I went there thinking I could tell her about Kelly… sort of hoped she’d get mad and…” “Fuck me,” the Little sighed as he lifted his hands to his face. “You expected her to break up with you?” “Okay, first of all, we weren’t technically dating,” Greg clarified as he cut his hand in the air. “Uh-huh,” Charlie sassed, rolling his eyes. “But yes,” the Amazon snorted. “I had hoped she would… end things, I guess… Then we’d all be happy.” “Not gonna happen, man,” Charlie asserted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re going to have to accept that women will put up with a lot of shit from you because of – this.” He gestured around at the house. “Oh come on,” Greg scoffed, and Charlie shot him a deadpanned look. “All right, all right. I’ll… keep that in mind.” “What about –” Charlie started and paused, taking in a deep breath and letting it out to calm down. “When you panicked about Kelly, your first thought wasn’t about her. It was about Sarah.” “I know.” “And you thought your life, our lives, were ruined at the mere idea of Sarah knowing –” “I know,” Greg interrupted with more edge in his tone. “So why keep this up?” Charlie asked, sounding exhausted and genuinely confused. “Why risk it?” “Because that was me, Charlie,” Greg huffed, looking incredulous at the wall as he rolled his eyes. “None of that was Sarah’s fault. I felt that way, and that isn’t fair to her to assume how she’ll respond.” “Greggy –” the Little groaned. “Charlie, bud,” Greg interrupted quickly as he sat up, placed his feet on the floor, and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I know you mean it well, and I know you’re looking out for me. I love that, and I don’t want you to stop. But your fear for me… it’s…” He took in a breath and sighed it out of his nose. “It’s grounded in you being a Little, and it’s just… not the same for me,” he grumbled, forcing the words out since he had already started, but already felt guilty for saying it. He closed his eyes as his back tensed up and his stomach felt nauseous. Charlie’s lips puckered, and his face hardened as he glared at his brother, getting a little angrier as he watched the telltale signs of his brother’s anxiety kick in. Defensively, he wanted to be mad and be allowed to be mad without having to be sensitive to Greg’s anxieties, and that conflict in him spiked his anger higher than the comment might originally warrant. “Right,” he snapped, hitting the ‘t’ hard and his lips pressed together. “You’re right. I don’t know why I ever worried.” He growled in his throat as he pushed off the chair and landed on his feet, his hands curling into fists. Greg gulped, immediately recognizing Charlie’s mood shift, and he closed his eyes for a moment, his mind flashing to the many, many times Charlie had coached him through his youth. “Littles fuck one thing up, and we’re sentenced for life,” he fumed as he began walking away. “But Amazons? You can literally wear diapers and not give a shit.” “Charlie –” Greg groaned as he opened his eyes, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “What?!” he snapped, spinning around and thrusting his arms outward, then slapping them down at his sides. “Am I fucking wrong?!” “Yes,” Greg countered with a frown, hyper-focusing on the literal question and phrasing rather than the sentiment. “I’m not saying I don’t give a shit, or there’s no risk –” “It’s just WAY DIFFERENT!” Charlie exploded as he slammed a foot down, his heart hammering, and tapped his fingers against his chest several times. “What an idiot I was, right?! For ever thinking you would be at all put at the same risks I was!” “I’m sorry,” Greg sighed, hanging his head. “For what, exactly?” the Little snarled, oscillating between being genuinely curious what Greg was apologizing for and irritated that he apologized at all, made worse by his brother’s grimacing look. “Charlie?” interrupted Kelly in a concerned tone, having rushed to the door from the hallway when she heard shouting. Greg looked over his shoulder at her, but Charlie’s eyes were pinned to his brother. She put a hand on her chest, her wide eyes flickering between the two as she realized what she had walked in on. “Oh, I - I’m sorry…” “It’s fine,” Charlie growled as he turned around, flicking a wrist in the air. “We’re done here.” “Charlie, come on,” Greg groaned as he stood up, but he started to follow when his Little brother didn’t stop. “Charlie!” “Fuck off,” Charlie hissed as he exited the room. Greg stopped, standing in the center of the office, and the silence that followed felt heavy. After a beat, he looked at Kelly, who looked like she wanted to disappear into the floorboards. “I didn’t mean…” Greg started, but the words felt like ash in his mouth. In an effort to push past his anxieties about Sarah and his own diapering comforts, he had misconstrued Kelly’s words the night before in the worst way. He had taken her observation of his wealth and status privilege as that of his size privilege, and ended up saying the one thing to his brother he always promised himself he wouldn’t: that they weren’t equals.