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@babykeiff Thank you, yes I accept my diapers for the night time fully. I just find it interesting about the whole waking up messy thing. I wonder if it will happen. Has anyone else had a dream similar to this or started waking up not just wet but also messy? It must feel pretty different. I did feel like i should wear my diapers in the day a bit yesterday too, but I think pullups would work better for me since i predict i could make them last longer.

Chapter 5 - the morning after   Her dreams were lustful. Everything she had experienced throughout the day played on repeat except she was dressed in a onesie and diaper while at work. Elise changed her mid shift giving her a proud approval of how thoroughly she had used her diapers. Her bladder ached incessantly throughout the dream. It begged for release and despite having dreamed that she used her diaper she still had the tell tale feelings of needing a toilet.    As the dream continued, she went home with Elise. She had never been to Elise’s house but in her dream it was a princess castle. Elise was ever dominant in her ability to read and care for Ashley. A particular part of the dream that stuck out to her was asking Elise for a special change. Except she didn’t call her “Elise” she called her “mommy” and the special change was everything she had hoped for. Elise caressed her gently then rubbed small circles around her most sensitive places. And before she was allowed to climax, Elise sealed the ever larger diaper around her. She did finish her off though, just through the padded surfaces of the diaper, her hand cupping and grinding the thick padding into her. It was so blissful that she could barely put it into words.    Yet the ache in her bladder remained. Elise’s voice cooed through her dream to just use her diaper. A constant encouragement to let it be free and to relieve herself. She dreamed that she went through the motions she had to earlier of imagining sitting on a toilet and then finally the ache in her bladder began to subside.    Relief washed over Ashley at the accomplishment of using her diaper. Elise’s praises were all the more proud. It was warm, almost scalding hot having the accident swell around her waist but each passing moment the relief of release felt that much better. As the ache subsided, the warmth remained, the moisture remained, but the cloudy dream subsided.    Ashley’s eyes snapped open. She had fallen asleep on the couch next to Elise but she was now laying in bed, her bed. It was early, well early for Ashley. Her clock read 7:25 AM. “Elise must’ve put me to bed last night.” Ashley said as she looked down at herself. Her hair bow had been removed as well as the long thigh high socks. She did remain in her onesie and diaper though. “At least that wasn’t a dream.”    Then as she woke up more she felt it. The warmth and wetness swaddling her hips. It was a bizarre sensation. She hadn’t remembered wetting herself yet she was wet. Then it hit her like a freight train, she had wet the bed. Then the self-loathing struck. ‘Stupid baby, you wear a diaper to bed one time and all of a sudden you’re a natural bed wetter.’ “I wet the bed?” She spoke out loud to herself.    She didn’t know what to do, the memories of the dream had faded quickly but the sensations and feelings were still there. She was horny, the ever present burn between her legs, a reminder of the previous night’s escapades and the lingering borderline wet dream. The diaper didn’t feel gross, it was still warm, then she thought of the unthinkable. ‘I could deal with at least one of these issues on my own.’   She looked at her closed door then looked at the time again. She should call Elise and thank her for last night but it was still pretty early. She shifted under the sheets a bit, the wet padding pressing against, thinking of the previous night ignited a new heat that had to be put out.    She reached over and grabbed one of the spare pillows and pushed it under the sheets. Normally she’d lay on her side but the bulk of the diaper made straddling the pillows between her knees a little difficult. She rolled onto her stomach and pulled the pillow up a bit between her knees.    The mental images she needed came almost immediately and her hips pushed down into the pillow. The warm moisture inside of the diaper greeted her and the pressure sent lightning through her nervous system. It felt incredible as she started imagining Elise. There was a mountain of material to dig through, thoughts that had begun to spiral to this moment from the previous night.    A new fantasy cut into her psyche to mimic her current position. It was humiliating, degrading even, but it set her off like never before. She was wearing her diaper, wet as it was, and Elise had looked at her with disapproval.    “You’re going to have to be in diapers permanently if you keep going through them at this rate. Come here. You might as well learn to enjoy your diapers properly if this is how you’re going to live in them.” Elise said in Ashley’s fantasy. Elise was sitting in a reclinable arm chair, like her dad’s down stairs.    “Yes Elise.” Ashley responded out loud to herself in her secluded room. It didn’t really feel right though.    In her fantasy she approached Elise who spread her legs open then patted her knee,indicating where Ashley should sit. Ashley straddled Elise’s knee and then lowered down on her knee. Ashley pressed down on the pillow between her legs and sat up to straddle it a bit better.    “Good girl.” Elise said as she placed her hands on Ashley’s hips. “Nice a slow now baby.” Her hands pushed and pulled her hips forward and back and Ashley mimicked the motion against the pillow. It was almost too much for her as the pleasure rolled up her body and the warmth enveloped her body.    “Yes mommy” Ashley responded out loud to her fantasy Elise. That felt right for the scene in her head and announcing it in her ragged voice almost broke her.    “Good girl.” Elise responded as her hands pushed Ashley’s hips a little faster. “This is how you will enjoy your diapers from now on little baby Ash.”   She was there, right on the edge, everything felt so good she could barely slow down or contain herself as she began to moan a little louder. Her vision was tunneling with the mounting pleasure and finally fantasy Elise responded. “Cum for mommy.”   “OH YES MOMMY!” Ashley almost screamed as her body reacted to the fantastical command coming from Elise. Her breathing couldn’t keep up as the waves of pleasure washed over her. She had never had an orgasm as intense as that in her life. The rush of feeling the sodden diaper beneath her grinding into her delivered pleasures beyond imagination. The internal humiliation along with the praise and domineering commands of Elise had built something and connected so many dots all at once. She was hooked on diapers.    Ashley collapsed to the bed and looked back to her nightstand where her alarm clock sat. Only 5 minutes had passed. It had only taken her 5 whole minutes to reach a new peak.    Then she noticed it. Something out of place. Something that hadn’t been there before. Something that was new.    Next to her alarm clock was a small box. An antenna projecting up out of the top of it. A round black lens pointed directly at her bed… at HER. A gridded panel right below it. ‘It’s a baby monitor!’ Ashley panicked as she realised the show she had just put on, what she had said out loud. She reached for it to find the power button, the SD card. Anything that would hide her shame. She fumbled with it for a moment and flipped the power off.    ‘If Elise left a baby monitor, is she still here?’ Ashley pondered next. Even if Elise hadn’t seen the display and watched real time as Ashley humiliated herself, had she heard through the walls. Next to her room was her Mom’s office in what would be the spare bedroom. Down the hall on the opposite side was her parents’ room. If Elise stayed the night and slept in her parents bed then she could have heard. Likewise the couch wasn’t very far either and definitely within hearing distance.    Ashley jumped out of bed. Her diaper was cooling off now. She moved to her bedroom door and cracked it open. She peeked her head out in both directions, looking for signs of Elise. The coast was clear and she moved down the hallway to her parents’ bedroom first and cracked the door to peak in. She felt like a child again, checking to see if her parents were still asleep so she could go watch Saturday morning cartoons.    The bed was empty and made up. What caught her attention though was the tablet next to the bed that displayed “SIGNAL LOST”. That was new, and had to be the receiver. She cracked the door a bit more and poked her head in. She could hear the shower running now in the master bath. She stalked over to the baby monitor receiver and clicked the touch screen. She scrolled through some of the control panels but didn’t see anything like a recording section. She sighed a breath of relief as she set it back down.    ‘Of course the ever-prepared mommy would have a baby monitor in her to-go babysitting diaper bag.’ Ashley thought to herself as her heart rate normalized. She adjusted the receiver to make it look like she hadn’t touched it and began to creep back out of the room.    What she hadn’t realised in her panic was that the shower had stopped. In fact it had stopped long enough ago that Elise was standing behind her already, waiting to pounce. As Ashley turned around to leave she was met with a face full of olive skinned boob.    The fright of Elise's ever apparent ninja skills sent Ashley tumbling back onto the bed with a small shriek. “I’m going to get you a bell…” Ashley started before she realised that Elise was standing there in front of her, completely nude!  Her brain turned off and the words turned into incoherent mumbles.    As her brain was in the process of rebooting, Elise began to speak. “Good morning to you too. Now what is a nosy little girl doing in the room of her guest.”   “I… I… I d-d-didn’t know you were still here.” Ashley finally managed after her brain completed its reboot, devouring Elise’s nude form with her eyes. ‘Why is she naked!’ Her brain screamed as her head tried to turn away but her eyes stayed attached.    Elise’s hands were on her hips, her towel in her hand and her hair damp. ‘Right, she was showering when I came in. Which means she probably didn’t hear or see anything.’ Ashley started to gain a modicum of composure and her brain was almost back to running on all cylinders.    Her body was perfect. She was muscular but not in the chiseled 1% bodyfat way. Her abs were present but not an intimidating six pack. Her arms seemed bigger without sleeves and her thighs and legs spoke of the hours spent training them. She had a perfectly trimmed landing strip, a stark comparison to Ashley’s now completely bald loins. And her boobs! Perfectly shaped, very clearly all natural, perky pink nipples standing at attention in the cool air and perfectly proportional to the large size of her breast.    Ashley managed to pull her eyes away from the objects of her desire attached to the chest of the woman of her desire and looked at Elise’s face. She looked kind of angry, but more so in a playful way, she was enjoying Ashley’s eyes wandering her body.    “Wha…why are you still here? I, I thought, you might’ve gone home for the night?” She managed to stutter out. It didn’t quell Elise’s furrowed brow but it got some much needed information.    “I called your mom back last night and let her know you weren’t feeling well and that we were sort of having a girls’ night. She was happy to offer up the master suite since they’ll be gone for a while. That doesn’t answer my question though.” Elise said, her posture almost in an offensive stance, like a predator preparing to pounce.   Ashley decided she needed to sacrifice some dignity to divert attention away from her intrusion. “I…I…I…” she started but couldn’t get the words out.    Elise tapped her foot, feigning impatience with Ashley but her smirk said she knew it all already.    “I wet the bed…” Ashley finally managed.    Elise looked surprised but it felt fake in a way to Ashley. ‘She already knew, she just wanted to hear me say it out loud!’ Ashley blushed deeply as she realised the wet diaper sagged quite a bit more than a dry one.    “Well, you did have two bottles of milk right before bed. It’s to be expected that a baby would wet the bed with that much in their system.” Elise said as she softened and moved next to Ashley. That air of confidence around Elise was so overwhelming, even nude she was unphased by Ashley’s lingering eyes. She also looked proud, or excited, maybe it was just pure happiness at hearing Ashley admit the embarrassing act to her. “We’ll get you cleaned up in a minute once I get dressed. Unless…”   Elise did pounce on Ashley this time pushing her down into the bed as her finger found her sides and began to tickle. Ashley’s laughs were loud and uncontrolled and it only took a moment to bring tears to her eyes. “Stoooppp, I’m gonna pee.” She managed between fits of giggles, realizing too late that wasn’t a deterrent to Elise even a little given her current state.    During the onslaught of tickles, Elise managed to pop the snaps of the onesie which let the onesie climb and expose the state of her diaper. She took it one step further and soon had the onesie shucked to the side on the floor, leaving Ashley in only her diaper. Exposed as she was to Elise’s fingers, she stayed true to her word and lost control of her bladder and let loose. A squeak of surprise escaped her lips as the short burst found its way into the diaper.    Elise picked up on it almost immediately. “There we go. All empty for sure now, that should help you keep the next one dry a bit longer. Your streak of wetting diapers is going unbroken.”   Content with her mission Elise laid on the bed and pulled Ashley over to her. Winded as she was, she couldn’t put up much of a fight and didn’t want to as she lay skin to skin atop Elise’s body. Her head was nestled between her breast, her ear pressed against her chest right over her heart. The rhythm was melodic to Ashley’s ear, even after the tickle frenzy, Elise’s superior physique was unbothered by the exertion.    Ashley’s eyes were focused on the pert nipple only inches away. She could exact some vengeance but wasn’t sure if it was going too far. Elise’s hands found their way Ashley’s diapered rear and groped the soaked padding. In doing so her arms pushed her breasts together and inched the target that much closer. “My, you sure did a number on this diaper, definitely got its full potential.” Elise commented as she squeezed and groped at Ashley’s rear.    Ashley couldn’t resist any longer and pounced. Her head moved forward and her mouth opened. Her tongue found the target first and her lips wrapped around the nipple. Elise let out a breath of surprise bordering a moan with a slight refute of “hey… that’s not… fair.”   She wasn’t recoiling away so Ashley latched and began to suckle the way she had learned to from the bottle the previous night. “You’re not… going to get any… milk from… there… sweety.” Elise said between panting breaths.    Ashley paused for a moment to refute. “You know that I know that you know what you were doing last night during my diaper change. This seems like a suitable punishment.” She immediately went back to the nipple. Elise’s hands continued to grope at the plastic of the diaper as she took shallow breaths. When the panting dwindled as she became accustomed to the assault, Ashley switched sides to the other nipple. “This one needs some attention too.” She teased before she went to work, reigniting the pants of approval from Elise.    Elise’s hand came to the back of Ashley’s head to support it as she relished in the moment of one of her long time fantasies coming to reality. The only thing she wished she could change was actually being able to fill Ashley’s belly up as a reward for her efforts.    Ashley’s assault ended after she was thoroughly amused and she nestled into Elise. It wasn’t fair that she was also getting worked up at Elise’s pants and moans. She was just happy that she got to enjoy herself a bit and get a little retaliation.   The call of nature ruined the moment of bliss. Ashley had to go, she’d been putting off for some time but it was something she didn’t think she was ready to do in a diaper. She timidly spoke up about the issue. “Hey… Elise… I have to go to… the potty…”   It took a moment for Elise to process the request. Ashley had just gone a few minutes ago, she wasn’t timid about using her diaper, at least not so far. Then it clicked. “Oh… then we better get that wet diaper off of you and get you to the potty.” Elise guided Ashley up then stood behind her and shuffled her to Ashley’s bathroom.    Elise pulled the tapes to the diaper and let it fall with a solid thud to the floor. “Good job making it to the potty Ash.” Elise gently praised. It was an innocent comment that kept Ashley in the little’s headspace but was affirmation that she understood that Ashley wasn’t quite ready for that specific use of her diapers. She allowed Ashley the privacy she needed and went to get dressed herself.   Ashley nearly jumped onto the toilet in her desperation. She had nearly waited too long but she was so comfy laying with Elise that she nearly forgot about her morning constitutional. Usually she’d play on her phone while doing her business which extended her bathroom breaks by several factors but this morning she voided her system and without the distraction was done quickly.    The diaper lay on the floor a few feet away. A reminder of Ashley’s failure, but also something that reminded her that this is also okay with Elise, maybe even a perk to her. Ashley didn’t hate it, she was actually coming to terms with it being enjoyable. The thoughts flowed like a barrage but, after a good night of sleep she was able to keep up.    ‘Am I changing too fast? Am I doing this for me or am I doing it to get into Elise’s pants. Not that she was wearing any pants this morning… stop. Focus. Do you enjoy this? Well that’s a yes. Then why should you stop? I don’t know. Am I scared of other people finding out and being mean about it? Elise wasn’t mean. People weren’t that mean when I came out as bi. There were a few but I came to terms that other peoples’ opinions don’t matter. Then why would this matter any more. Because it’s something I’ve been trying to avoid my whole life. Being little was what got me targeted, now I’m intentionally trying to be well, little. Maybe you should talk to Elise. She wouldn’t understand, I mean, she’s perfect. Yeah, but she is also older and has come to terms with that side of herself. She probably had her own struggles that you don’t know about. She can probably help. But is that leaning on her too much? Asking her to figure out my own internal problems. To be fair, she did say that being leaned on is what she enjoys. Okay, I’ll talk to Elise. Last night was a lot of fun but there is still so much I don’t understand.’   She hadn’t heard Elise come back yet so she decided she might as well brush her teeth for the time being. Her head was still swimming through all of the thoughts trying to figure out how to broach the mountain of subject with Elise.    She finally heard a knock at the bathroom door. It seemed to have taken her longer to come back than it should’ve but Ashley assumed she was giving her space to process. She appreciated that before she realised she was still naked and didn’t have anything to put on yet. ‘Is she going to diaper me again? That’d be the third from the pack I bought. Is that a little quick to be going through them? Not that I’m complaining, I wouldn’t actually mind using another. It just seems fast and Elise said they were night time diapers.’    Her thoughts spiraled before another knock came and she had to decide to bite the bullet. “You okay Ash?” Elise asked gently through the door, it wasn’t locked but Elise was giving her space. ‘Great, now I made her worry.’ She put her toothbrush down and spat into the sink before replying. “Yeah I’m fine. Just brushing my teeth.”    “Okay. If you need a pause to talk I can find you some comfort clothes and put them outside the door for you.” Elise replied with her delicate voice that was so calming.    Ashley didn’t want the fun to stop but she also wanted the opportunity to talk. “I’m going to take a quick shower to rinse off and I’ll be right out. If you can find me some clothes that’d be great.”   Elise replied quickly. “Sounds good.” And Ashley could hear the tell tale creak of the floor outside the bathroom door that she knew from her years of walking over it as Elise moved away.   Ashley jumped in the shower and rinsed off as quickly as she could. She didn’t even wait for the water to warm completely and shivered a little at the cold stream which made sure she was wide awake. Her lavender bodywash spent more time going down the drain than actually on her body and she was out and drying off in five minutes.    Sure enough, an outfit was waiting outside the door for her. The problem with not growing much for a decade meant you didn’t outgrow clothes, they just spent more time in the back of a closet or dresser instead of being donated. Elise had picked clothes Ashley hadn’t worn since the later years of elementary school.    A soft pink princess t-shirt she used to favor that had to be in the depths of her closet. With it were the matching panties she only ever wore if she was so far behind on laundry they were the only option. The outfit was completed with a pair of white short shorts that she couldn’t remember wearing last. She scooped up the clothes and got dressed. She should’ve known by now with Elise’s tendencies this is the outfit that she was destined to. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked young, like the grade school version of herself. She typically wore outfits that were more suitable and age enhancing than age regressing. A touch of make up would go a long way to make her look more mature but she wanted to see Elise.    She took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, flaunting her juvenile attire. She found Elise in the kitchen, rummaging for ingredients. She was in the same outfit as the previous night but had her hair in loose braids terminated in space buns. Ashley saw it as an opportunity for some sweet revenge.    “What’s for breakfast!” She asked loudly and quickly from behind Elise.    “Still trying to figure that out.” Elise replied calmly, unfazed by Ashley’s attempt to startle her. “You won’t be needing a bell anytime soon. How can such a tiny girl make so much noise while walking around.” She teased.    “I’ll get you someday.” Ashley replied in defeat while double checking that Elise didn’t have eyes on the back of her head.    “No, I don’t have eyes on the back of my head.” Elise commented.    “BUT YOU’RE PSYCHIC!” Ashley nearly screamed as Elise read her like an open book.    “Nope, just observant, and recognize patterns with you. How about waffles?” Elise decided as she found the pancake mix in the pantry.    “With chocolate chips?” Ashley asked, her sweet tooth speaking up.    “For Saturday morning breakfast I guess we can indulge.” Elise replied as she found the extra ingredients and asked Ashley where they kept their waffle iron.    Elise was busy mixing up the batter when she began. “So how did you sleep last night?”   “Really good.” Ashley responded, deciding that the details of the dream she had weren’t that important. “Probably one of the best nights of sleep I’ve had since leaving for college, honestly.”   “Well you were out like a light when I carried you to bed. Didn’t stir even a little when I took off your socks and bow. I guess you were a little milk drunk.” Elise continued.   “Yeah well, two big bottles of milk right before bed wasn’t the greatest for my bladder. I wasn’t joking when I said I had an accident and wet the bed.” Ashley said.    “You’re kidding. I thought you were just sticking to the role this morning. Well if it was an accident then I think you shouldn’t have any problems wearing your diapers to bed just to be safe.”   Ashley’s cheeks burned. “Well… it was only the first time…” she tried to retort but the thought of being put to bed in her diapers and onesie again, especially after her morning activities, wasn’t so bad.    “Maybe, we’ll just have to see. Might have to set up a potty chart for you.” Elise commented as she poured batter into the waffle iron and sprinkled in a handful of chocolate chips. For some reason Ashley didn’t think Elise was joking and started picturing a calendar on the refrigerator displaying her potty record. It was humiliating and Ashley was coming to terms that the degradation and regression aspects in all of their humiliating wonder was what got her fired up.    “Besides, I didn’t know you were still here. Even if I had woken up I probably would’ve used the diaper anyway.” Ashley continued without thinking how it sounded.    “Oh? So you also have conscious accidents?” Elise said with a raised eyebrow. “We might need to get some protection on you for daytime purposes. I should have a few pull-ups that’d be just your size in the diaper bag. You had two accidents before dinner last night, then wet the bed. Then you had an accident after you came to see me. Sounds like you’re fairly accident prone there little Ash.”   If Ashley could blush any harder she would. She knew Elise was chopping words but it was having the right effect. She was feeling small again. “I meant…uhm… I mean that I think I would prefer to use the diaper than take it off and waste it.” Ashley tried to explain but her head felt all fuzzy and Elise was a master of cornering her with words.    Elise flipped out the first waffle with a fork onto a plate, sprayed the cast irons with more oil and dropped more batter in before closing it. She slid the plate across the counter to Ashley, turned to the fridge and pulled out the butter and grabbed the syrup from the pantry and slid those over as well. Ashley was always amazed by Elise’s efficient movements.    “So you’re okay with using your diapers?” Elise asked gently. She was switching gears away from the teasing caregiver and was now in compassionate friend mode.    Ashley bashfully replied as she spread a slice of butter across the waffle offered up to her. “Yeah… I think I actually like… using my diapers.” She practically whispered the last part and taking ownership of the diapers for the first time sent tingles through her body.    “Well that’s good that you’re coming to terms with that. It’d be okay if you didn’t like it either, some people choose to wear them but don’t use them too. I know you’re still fresh to it but you’ve taken some very big steps right from the beginning.” Elise explained calmly.    “I don’t know what it is exactly. It just feels comfortable. It feels kind of safe, to let go of that one small adult worry. It doesn’t feel bad. I thought it’d be more gross but it actually isn’t that bad.” Ashley tried to explain.    “I can’t say I enjoyed it.” Elise put out there which made Ashley pause and raise an eyebrow. “I’ve done some experimenting. I also don’t think it’s fair to put someone through something you yourself haven’t experienced. I can’t say I’ve done a lot or all of the things but I have a decent understanding.”    Ashley tried to imagine Elise in a diaper and onesie. It didn’t fit Elise’s vibe but Elise in just a diaper was HOT, she definitely needed to see that at some point. She was just imagining Elise blushing and her recently acquired mental images of Elise’s voluptuous form in nothing but a diaper. She fanned her face a little and took another bite.    “Did you have any plans for the day?” Elise asked while waiting for the next pancake, a slight caution to her voice that meant she wasn’t worried but would be slightly disappointed if their fun was coming to a close already.    “Well, all of my high school friends are out of town so I don’t have anything scheduled. I was probably just going to binge some tv, rot my brain, maybe raid the liquor cabinet and take up a drinking habit.” She joked which for once made Elise recoil a bit. “Obviously kidding. I’m a good girl who has never touched alcohol, honest. I’ve smelled it and blegh, no thank you. I don’t know why anyone would drink rubbing alcohol scented rotten fruit. Gross.”   Elise had to admit that the childish opinion on alcohol fit Ashley perfectly. “I don’t know how you’ve made it this far without knowing you’re a little. You’re so incredibly innocent. Next you’ll tell me you don’t masturbate or drink caffeine.”   Ashley blushed at the word but defended herself a little. “I drink plenty of energy drinks and… and… masturbate.” Again she finished the sentence in an almost whisper and stuffed another chunk of pancake into her mouth. Elise was grinning like the cat who ate the canary. “You like teasing me too much.” Ashley responded innocently with a blush.    “Well, if you weren’t so adorable with those rosy little cheeks I probably wouldn’t enjoy it as much.” Elise responded. “So, if you’re free today, how about we go on a date?” Elise commented with a blush of her own for once.    “D…d…date?” Ashley responded to the question. ‘It’s finally happening!’ She screamed internally as her excitement rose. Something she had only dreamed about. She knew now that Elise was into her of course but openly admitting to a date nearly made Ashley faint. “I… um… yes.” She managed after her brain took a few moments to reboot and process a response.    “Great!” Elise looked overjoyed. “The only question that remains then is, are you going out as big Ashley or little Ash.”

"How could you make us wait so long, bro? BRO. BRO?!"  Because I'm an asshole, that's why! No, I'm kidding - I'm just fuckin' busy and I was too busy to write this but OH SHIT HERE WE FAPPIN' GO... and the next chapter will be here before the weekend! Chapter 25   The smell permeating from Jacob’s diaper became a stronger force. It made its presence ever-known as it pierced through the nursery sweetness of baby powder and something floral underneath, Amanda's own signature scent now being assaulted by the stench of his infantile mess. A new smell emerged, reminding Jacob of the smell of a stench of a diaper pail, to which he suddenly noticed Tommy's near the changing table with a quick glance. The intensity of his tantrum was washed away with the humiliation of pooping his already poopy diaper, and that embarrassment was starting to settle into helplessness. He could hear the ceiling fan ticking softly overhead before it was interrupted by Lana’s hand on the padded vinyl of the changing table pressing against the towel Amanda had laid down, and he wished, with every fiber of his being, that the floor would open up and swallow him whole. "Up we go, stinky boy," Lana said, her hands firm under his arms as she lifted him onto the table like he weighed nothing at all. The crinkle of his swollen diaper — sagging, heavy, warm — was still the loudest sound in the room. "Oh. My. Goodness," Amanda said, and her hand came up to cover her nose, but her eyes were bright and dancing above her fingers. "Lana, honey, I knew he was already a messy boy, but this — this might be bath-worthy." Jacob squeezed his eyes shut. If he couldn't see them, maybe they couldn't see him. Maybe he was somewhere else entirely. Maybe he was a few years older and had a job and a bank account and a car and — "Tapes first, and then we need to be efficient," Lana said, and he felt her fingers at his hip, unfastening the first tape with a practiced *riiiiip*. "I don't think he's going anywhere," Amanda laughed, leaning in close. “But the straps are there just in case.” "Oh, I think he’s fine,” Lana asserted. “Look at him. He's frozen like a little bunny." The second tape came undone. The front of his diaper flopped down and the smell hit all three of them at once. "Ohhh, *there* it is," Amanda said, waving a hand dramatically in front of her face. "Whew! Somebody had a big, big mess, didn't he? *Didn't he?* Aww, yes he did!" "Mommy, please," Jacob whispered, his face burning so hot he could feel his pulse in his cheeks. "Please what, baby?" Lana asked sweetly, already pulling wipes from the warmer — because of course Amanda the wipe warmer plugged in and ready, of course she did — and pressing his knees up toward his chest with one forearm. "Please change your diapee? Is that what my little one wants? Because that's exactly what's happening right now. On the changing table." The first cold touched his skin and he flinched. Amanda had claimed a spot at the other end of the table and was already peeling wipes of her own from the package. "You know," she said, "when my sister's kids were little, we used to do this tag-team style. One holds the legs, one does the wiping. Fastest changes you've ever seen. Like a pit crew." She looked up at Lana with a grin. "Want to?" "Do I ever," Lana said, and something passed between the two women — a conspiratorial warmth that Jacob was not included in, that was never going to include him. “We’ll be a tag-team champion a pit crew — for a monster truck!” The both looked at each other and laughed hysterically, Amanda leaning her arm on Lana’s shoulder while they were cracking up. Jacob felt his cheeks warm and the smell made it hard for him to concentrate on his breathing, holding his breath in between for longer without realizing. Jacob sighed and turned his head to the side and stared at the pastel wall. There were stenciled clouds along the border. Little smiling stars. A shelf with folded blankets, and a mobile hanging from the ceiling above the crib — soft felt animals, an elephant, a giraffe, a lion with a crooked sewn-on smile that seemed to be laughing at him specifically. *How did it come to this,* he thought, as Amanda's wipe traveled somewhere no neighbor's hands had ever been before, as she cooed "who's a dirty boy, who's a messy widdle baby" in a sing-song that made his ears feel like they were stuffed with cotton. *A month ago I was complaining about laundry. That's all it was, wasn’t it? I was lazy about laundry and, well, maybe a lot of other things too. She warned that she'd teach me a lesson and I thought — I thought nothing would happen. I thought she'd get just ignore me. Almost everyone else did. I thought she’d get tired of worrying about me.* The wipes kept coming. Lana lifted his ankles with one hand — actually lifted them, like he was an infant, his bottom leaving the towel — while Amanda wiped beneath him with brisk, cheerful efficiency, and the two of them talked over his bent body like he was a countertop being cleaned. "So his first mess was right when you put him in the car?" Amanda asked. "No, thank God. It was when we were closer to your place. You should've seen his little face through the rear-view." “Well, I’m sure it was funnier than this rear-view!” Amanda’s turn to bring forth an eruption of hilarity as it was her turn to make Lana cackle as they seemed to be making a fun time out of a very messy and stinky situation. "I *did* see his little face! I’m sure it was similar when you pulled up when I was watching through the window. Lana, I nearly died. I almost could have guessed from defeated and, honestly infantile, expression." "He’s just a baby. It's like his legs just quit the second his tummy told him was time. Isn't that right, baby? Yes it is. His body knows what he is even when his big boy brain is still catching up." *His body knows what he is.* The words settled into him like a stone dropping through still water. That was the thing he kept circling back to, the thing he couldn't stop prodding at like a sore tooth. Lana had never talked about the end of this. He'd only just now let himself notice. There had been a lot of "when you learn your lesson" in the beginning. A sense that the wetting was a fluke and a few nights in medical protection would prove that. But it happened so fast when she went on her iPad, saw the babyish items and any notion of a planned timeframe... faded. Replaced by babyish diapers. Replaced by a new wardrobe. Replaced by Amanda, apparently, having a moved over his entire room next door for her growing toddler son and certainly, that room was not left empty, could she have… he couldn’t bare to think about it. Lana had seemed to gradually go with the flow of things, but Amanda seemed ready like she'd been waiting years for exactly this arrangement to walk through her door in a soggy diaper. And she had been. He understood that now. Lana wasn't teaching him a lesson anymore. She was building something. Building it carefully, moment by moment, bottle by bottle, diaper to diaper, and he was not the contractor of this project — he was the material. "All clean back here," Amanda announced, giving his bottom a light pat. "Flip him?" "Flip him," Lana confirmed, and Jacob felt himself rolled, gentle but utterly non-negotiable, the two of them handling him between them like they'd done it a hundred times. *I'm a person,* he thought, face pressed into the towel, which smelled like lavender and, faintly, of him already. *I'm a person, I have a life ahead of me, I pay — I paid — taxes. I used to drive a car. I had opinions about movies. I almost, maybe had a job.* "Such a grumbly face," Amanda's voice floated down to him, and a finger booped the end of his nose. "What's baby thinking about so hard, hm? Is he thinking about his stinky wittle accident in his diapee? Yes he is. Yes he *is*." "Okay, front and center," Lana said, and they turned him back over. He kept his eyes on the stenciled clouds. Amanda's wipes were warm from the warmer — that detail struck him as somehow worse than anything, the *care* of it, the luxury, the way this was all being done so lovingly — and she cleaned him with thorough, unhurried strokes while Lana held his legs and watched her work with the satisfied expression of someone watching a houseguest water her plants correctly. "There," Amanda said finally, balling up the last wipe and dropping it into the diaper pail with a satisfying *thunk*. "Squeaky clean and all clean under the hood." "Now the fun part," Lana said, and Jacob heard the unmistakable *shhhk-shhhk-shhhk* of the baby powder bottle. “Back to some pleasant smells — you do like baby powder, don’t you Amanda?” “Oh, my favourite!” she responded with noticeable glee. “Nothing beats the smell of a clean baby.” He closed his eyes as the cool cloud drifted down over him. Both of their hands were suddenly there — *both* of them, four hands, massaging the powder into his skin, and he made a sound he was immediately ashamed of, a small involuntary "nnh," and both women cooed at him at the same time, in perfect unison, like they'd rehearsed it. "Fresh baby," Lana declared, sliding the thick new diaper beneath him — thick just like the ones she'd used at home, he realized, plush and absurdly soft — and drawing it up between his legs, that it was of course the same diapers and Amanda had brought them. She taped the sides snug, ran her thumb along each tape to make sure, then patted the front twice. "All done, sweetheart. Good as new." He lay there for a second, blinking at the mobile in the crib a few feet away from him. The lion grinned its crooked grin. What happened next, he had not been prepared for. He'd assumed — clothes. A onesie, at least. Something. Lana lifted him down off the table and set him on his feet, and that was it. That was all. He stood in the middle of the nursery in nothing but his diaper, thick between his thighs, forcing that ridiculous waddle-apart stance, wearing absolutely nothing else while two fully dressed women looked at him with fond, proprietary satisfaction. "Um," he said, hunching his shoulders, hands drifting uselessly toward his stomach. "My — clothes?" "Baby doesn't need clothes for his nap," Lana said, in the tone of someone explaining that the sky is blue. "Babies sleep in just their diapees when Mommy decides, don't they? And it's so cozy and warm in here. Come on, mister. Crib time." "Crib—" His voice cracked. "I'm not — I don't need a *nap*." “Do you need a spanking instead?”. Lana warned and raised one eyebrow, “I’ve been very lenient with you and I swear this is your last warning!” Lana warned and raised one eyebrow. The look she gave him had the weight of an entire month behind it. He wilted. His shoulders dropped, his chin dropped, and he let her take his hand and lead him — waddling, there was no other word for the way he walked, the diaper was simply too thick to do anything else — across the nursery to the crib. “Good boy, baby.” Lana’s tone shifted once more and Jacob cowered and flinched in fear and resignation. Beside them, Amanda let out a small, genuine sigh. "Oh, poo. I was hoping we'd get to play a little." "I know, I know," Lana said, lowering the crib rail. "But somebody had a very big morning, didn't he? A big fussy-messy morning, and big fussy-messy mornings make very tired babies. He needs his rest. But —" she glanced at Amanda, and something calculating and kind all at once passed over her face, "— you could grab his bottles from downstairs, if you want. Wind him down for me." Amanda lit up like a struck match. "Really?" "Really." "Yes! Okay — yes — I'll be right back — don't go anywhere, baby!" She squeezed Jacob's shoulder on her way past and was out the door in a swirl of cardigan, her footsteps thumping cheerfully down the stairs. Lana turned back to him. She checked the diaper again — tugged the waistband, checked the leg gathers, nodded to herself — and then she smiled at him, slow and knowing, and reached out to straighten his hair with her fingers. "Look at you," she murmured. "Look at my sweet little baby, all clean and powdered. You were *such* a mess, Jacob. The messiest I've ever seen you. And you just stood laid there and let us take care of it, didn't you? Because that's what babies do. Babies don't change themselves. Babies can't." She tapped the diaper's front. "This is Mommy's job now. Mine and Amanda's." *I know* he thought, and the terrible thing, the thing he'd never say, was how little fight was left in the thought. *I know it is.* "Up," she said, and helped him over the rail, settling him onto the mattress with its waterproof sheet and its cozy blanket. He sat there among the stuffed animals, knees drawn up, diaper crinkling, and felt about six inches tall. Amanda's footsteps came bounding back up the stairs. She appeared in the doorway holding two bottles, both full, both steaming faintly. "Fresh off the stove," she announced. "Well. Microwave. Close enough." "Perfect," Lana said, and then paused, tilting her head, in the way Jacob had learned meant an idea was forming. "You know what — Amanda, why don't you give him his bottle? I've got a few things I want to check on at home anyway, while he falls asleep. Unless you'd rather I—" "Really?" Amanda's whole face brightened again. "Yes, Amanda, of course. Consider it babysitting." Amanda pressed the bottles to her chest. "Lana. You are the *best*." "I thought you might like that," Lana said dryly. "You can take care of him after his nap too — I'll come back over shortly. We’ll still have that coffee — iced coffee. Maybe a splash of cognac?” Amanda pointed a bottle at her. "You don't even need to suggest the cognac. You've read my mind. *Again.*" The two of them laughed, easy and warm, standing over his crib, arranging his life between them like it was a shared garden. "Alright," Lana said, moving toward the door. "Come on, baby. Bottle time with Amanda." Jacob climbed down out of the crib — with a steadying hand from Lana, and the shame of needing it — and Amanda had already settled herself on the small nursery couch, patting her lap with both hands, beaming. "Just like he does with Mommy," Lana directed, and Jacob's stomach performed a slow flip. He shuffled over. Amanda's lap looked soft, and her arms were already open, and Lana was standing there watching with an expression of such serene approval that arguing hadn't even occurred to him as an option — the option had quietly left the building weeks ago. "Come here, sweetheart," Amanda said gently, and he lowered himself onto her lap, hyper-aware of every point of contact, He was utterly captivated by her plunging neckline, unable to tear his eyes away from her deeply cut blouse. She embraced him. The softness of her, the floral smell of her perfume mixed with the baby powder still hanging in the air.. "There we go. That's a good boy. Just relax." *It's fine,* he told himself as she cradled his head against her, as she adjusted him with small, maternal nudges, bringing the bottle's nipple toward his mouth. *It's fine, it's just a bottle, it's just — she's just — oh, no.* The nipple touched his lips and, before his dignity could mount anything resembling a defense, his mouth opened and latched. "Ohhh!" Amanda delighted, a small laugh escaping her. "He latched! Lana, he just *latched* right on, oh my goodness, look at him go." Jacob drank. Warm milk. It was, apparently, exactly the right temperature, because of course it was. Above him the women talked — about the morning, about the parking lot, about the mall, about a sale Amanda mentioned, about a woman named Denise whose name Jacob didn't know — and their voices washed over him in a pleasant blur while he suckled, and he hated how not-unpleasant this was, hated the weight of Amanda's arm around him, hated that his eyes were getting heavy. "So," Lana said, and there was something in her voice, a shift, casual-but-not. "Is everything ready?" Amanda's free hand smoothed Jacob's hair absently. "Of course it is. I'm like a machine, remember?" "Mm. I know." *Ready,* Jacob thought sluggishly, suckling, half-drowsing. *Ready for what? What's ready?* He didn't ask. Asking meant admitting he was following the conversation, and some stubborn flicker of self-preservation told him that being awake and aware was the last card he had left, pathetic as it was. The bottle emptied. He felt the last few pulls draw nothing but air, and Amanda eased it from his mouth with a tiny *pop*. He lay against her, blinking slowly, and gathered himself — there was a question on his tongue, something, anything, *what's ready, what are you two planning, when does this end* — Lana was already holding the second bottle. Before even a full second had passed between the first bottle and the second, the nipple was against his lips and slipping in, warm and ready, and his mouth closed around it and began to suck almost before his brain had registered what happened. Amanda giggled beneath him, jiggling him gently. "Shhh. There we go. Still thirsty, hm? Aww, what a good baby he is." Lana stood over them both, and her face went soft and wicked all at once. She leaned down and kissed Jacob's cheek, lingering, then straightened and looked at Amanda. Their eyes held for a long moment — warm, charged, conspiratorial — and Amanda, cheeky as anything, leaned up and pecked a quick kiss right on Lana's lips. Lana only winked at her. "Mommy has a few things to do at home," she told Jacob, whose eyebrows had drifted upward above the bottle. She picked up her keys from the dresser with a soft jingle. "Be good for Amanda, baby."

Just nothing to talk about and everything has been talked about.   

Aino, sweetie, ‘not your monkeys, not your circus’, definitely applies here.