Trading Post

If my morning poopies in my diaper is firm, I can stay in my messy diaper for several hours and even get my morning exercise in my wet and messy diaper. If my potty is soft and begins to squish to the front of my diaper, I have to change right away. I don't want to risk contracting a uti from e choli bacteria.  Sad to say that this morning is one of those mornings that I have to change right now, so excuse me while I get fresh and clean for the day, and I decided to wear a cloth diaper and plastic pants today. I really should wear cloth diapies more often; I like the wet feeling of a cloth diaper, and more economical.

I don't wear cloth diapers as often as I should, therefore, today after I change my very wet and messy morning Vivo diaper, I am going to wear a cloth diaper, a disposable booster pad, a baby cloth diaper as another booster and of course plastic pants. I'll have to see if my wife notices. With cloth diapers I definitely feel when I am wet, sooo warm and sort of "clammy" is a good description. By the way, I like the feeling, just like the feeling of pleasure I get from my poopie diapie.

That is one of my rarely experienced but highly pleasurable guilty pleasures, letting a well formed poop slip out into an already wet nappy. No idea why I like it, I just do….

I'm fairly new to all this as well. It seems to be a fairly welcoming site, so, just relax and be yourself. 

75. The Truth Tess thought hard, while the car moved on. “I think I’d rather be the one making the choices,” she said, after a little introspection. “Like… the best feeling is to be really enjoying myself and knowing that it’s because I made the right choices. It’s hard to put into words. But that’s what makes me happy, I think. When we did that being a child, it didn’t press the same buttons for me. I mean… it’s not like I didn’t enjoy it, don’t get me wrong. It’s just a different feeling. Maybe… because you told me to be a child and kids are always excited. Synthetic fun, rather than free-range, or something. And I know there must be more to it. It’s like there’s something in there that really interests me, but I haven’t quite found it yet, so I need to explore.” Tess knew she must be blushing more than ever now. She wanted to come out and say that she wasn’t a baby, and that the way she’d been treated in the past made it hard for her to be comfortable with that even if it did help with her relaxation. But at the same time, she didn’t want to give up on her chance of being hypnotised again, or make things any harder than they already were for Ffrances. Gabby wanted a little girl to play with, that much was clear. Tess wanted to feel her own thoughts and behaviour changing, and to understand how that made her feel. So perhaps they could all get what they wanted, and she had no doubt that it was worth it. But that just raised one more question. “What do you want?” she asked a moment later. “I mean… I’ve been thinking about trying to find the best compromise between what I’ll enjoy, and what Gabby wants. There’s got to be a way we can all be happy, right? But you’re the one doing the hard part, and I don’t think I even asked what you get out of this. I’m sorry.” “Well…” Ffrances answered, and then paused for a few seconds that felt like an hour. “Well, I guess I wasn’t being honest with my feelings either. I told Gabby last time that you didn’t want to be the littlest one, and my attempts to ensure that ended up making her way littler than she ever intended. And then she found that she dreams of caring for someone regressed, but she doesn’t like experiencing it herself. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if that might be a hidden opportunity for me. If you said you were uncomfortable being the only little one, then I might be able to…” “You’re curious about…” Tess started, and then froze in shock at the ideas coming from the back of her mind. “Wait… When I moved in, Gabby said sorry for giving me a child’s room. That the room had been like that when she moved in, and the family who had that house before must have had kids. But that doesn’t explain a desk that looks like a tiny kid’s thing, but it’s bigger than a regular one. Or a changing table still stocked with diapers… Especially not ones that would fit Gabby so easily. Was that your nursery before I moved in? You want to be small and innocent, and Gabby wants to be the mommy. And you’re both in well-paid professional jobs, so you could afford to put together the perfect playroom. And then you needed an excuse to deny it when I arrived?” Everything made sense now. It all added up, but Tess couldn’t continue her chain of deductions after she realised that Ffrances was softly laughing. “Well, that’s sound logic. But no, the only place I’ve had a room like that is in my dreams. She’s never treated me like a baby. She says I’m naturally in control, she has to do everything I say. But no matter how many times I ask, reversing roles is the one thing she won’t agree to. Since she first showed me the nursery, I’ve been hoping I could be the baby one day. But… I think she looks at me and sees the person she wants me to be sometimes.” “So you’re always the boss, and I’m always the baby. Even if we’re not in a mood where that feels comfortable?” Ffrances nodded. Tess thought she could understand, even if she hoped she would never do something like that to anyone. And now she understood, she could perhaps find some way to let everyone get what they wanted most. Gabby must be really serious about the baby thing, though. Tess was sure now that her bedroom had never been home to a little girl. And it hadn’t been for Ffrances either; there was only one other option. Gabby was so desperate to be Mommy that she’d created Alice in her mind. A hypothetical little girl, or rather an adult who would allow Gabby to treat her like a child, so she would never grow up past the varied selection of toys in that room. Gabby had built a nursery over the years for a girl who only lived in her imagination. There hadn’t been time to hide it when she heard Tess wanted to move in; and once Tess moved into Alice’s room, Gabby felt like she was stepping into Alice’s role too. That was why telling her over and over that she didn’t want to be called a baby had no effect. “Gabby’s a wonderful person, and I love her.” Ffrances said carefully. “But sometimes, she gets a little too caught up in her own dreams. There’s some things I’ll happily deny myself to make her comfortable; relationships are all about compromise. I only think about it when it seems like there might be some justification, some excuse to try it. I tell myself maybe she’ll enjoy it once she’s tried it, but it’s not easy to get her there.” “It will be,” Tess said, and the words filled her with determination. “I know she wants me to be her baby. And I’ll do that sometimes, occasionally. I’ll even tell her that I want it. But I’m not comfortable having no responsibilities at all, so I need a little sister to play with. She’s built a nursery before she had a baby to look after. Hell…” she thought back to adverts that had come up on her computer over the last few months; for adult-sized diapers with a babyish print, and similar things. It wasn't something she was interested in, but she had  seen the price tags. “She’s filled a whole cabinet with ABDL diapers, and those things cost a fortune. That sounds to me like something she really wants, and she’ll do anything to get it. If I set down one restriction, is she really going to say no?” They talked for longer, and this time was different. Ffrances was visibly excited as they went over the possibilities. It was still vague, but she outlined what she had been thinking of doing for the hypnosis part of a Christmas celebration with one or two of them acting like little kids. The safeguards she’d thought of, like the time before, to prevent Gabby pushing Tess too far. Tess was amazed by the creativity on display, and even if she didn’t want to be a toddler, she found herself getting curious about how those activities would feel. She added her own suggestions too, aware that Ffrances was still keeping back some of the things she had in mind. It was supposed to be a surprise for the little one, after all. But they discussed enough that after an hour or more of aimless driving, they were both confident that it would be a great way to celebrate. “I guess the next big question is ‘when?’,” Ffrances added. “If your visa had been delayed, it could have been actually at Christmas. But now, perhaps Thursday is a better choice. Something fun to give you a nice sendoff.” Tess nodded, and tried to remember if there was anything else in her plans that conflicted with that. She might have said that was good, but after an hour eating pizza in the park, and another hour talking about their plans, the pressure in her bladder was struggling to get her attention again. It wasn’t anything like the desperation she had felt this morning; just enough for her to notice. But it reminded her of the reason she had reached out to Ffrances this morning, an issue that she hadn’t even brought up yet after her mind was filled with so many interesting ideas. “Actually, before we do that… I was going to ask you if you can help me with something. If it isn’t too much trouble.” “You said in your messages. You want the bedwetting trigger to work during the day as well. So that any time during the day–” “Yes,” Tess cut her off. “Just like the one you already gave me.” “Is that one okay for you? I mean, you’ve been using it for two months now, and it hasn’t faded as far as I know, which is usually a good sign. Are you using it often? You’ve not got bored with it, or found that you want it to be different? Aside from what you already said, I mean.” Tess blushed. She didn’t want to talk about this, but she knew she had to get through it. “I ask Gabby once or twice most weeks,” she answered. “I’m still happy with it, I think it was exactly what I needed. But I was wondering if it might be getting less effective with time. Do you need to give those things a booster?” “It can help. So, just the same again. Someone you trust can tell you that you’re going to have an accident, or not to, at any time day or night. And your subconscious will handle all the details to make sure that happens. I think it may actually be more helpful if it’s more symmetrical. So that whether you remember being triggered or not doesn’t depend on which version of the trigger it was. The person helping you can just tell you to remember. That way it’s a simpler suggestion, and it might feel more natural. Which, if I understand, might make it easier to get over the problems that–” “That’s fine,” Tess nodded. “But can you not… Don’t tell Gabby, please? I don’t think I’m ready for her to know I need this kind of help in the day. Well, I’m not sure if I do yet. But I want it to be there, the trigger, in case I do. So I can ask for help when I need it. I think, maybe, Knowing that it’s there that might be enough to make me a little more confident.” She didn’t say anything about how unlikely it was that she’d ever give someone permission to make her wet herself, at night or during the day, let alone ask for it. But Ffrances and Gabby had both explained last time that hypnosis could be like Sisyphus pushing his rock up a hill; the more you want something, the more your subconscious fights against you. Making a trigger that had both effects, even if only one was ever used, was like putting the rock on a seesaw. She’d actually read up a little on the theory since last time, and thought her understanding could actually be pretty good. So she could just avoid the parts of the conversation that embarrassed her too much to talk about, and focus on the changes she needed. “Okay. We can do that. Would you like to do that before the Christmas thing? Because that’s one more suggestion, and the ones for that party already seem pretty intense. It would be better to leave a day between them, unless you’d be more comfortable not including the hypnosis part for our Christmas shenanigans.” “Well, I was thinking about it. No, I think if I’m going to be a little kid, the hypnosis isn’t optional. So it might be better if we could fit it in during the week. If you can change this trigger, maybe try it on Monday and repeat later in the week to reinforce it, like you did last time, so that I can feel confident while I’m away. I mean, I hope I won’t need it while I’m with my parents. I’m taking a couple of those… pull-ups, but only a few, and just in case. I really think that I’ll end up not needing them. But I think it would help me a lot with confidence if I knew the trigger’s there, in the back of my mind. Just in case.” Ffrances nodded, and Tess found that she could smile again. In that moment, she was sure that she would get exactly the help she needed, with no more questions about why she needed it.