Trading Post

That was a good addition, thanks for sharing.

An update twice the normal size!   Alice is desperate, but her mother won't help her. It leaves her returning to Kat having to admit something deeply embarrassing. Kat's response surprises her. --- Every update I post is available on my Ream and SubscribeStar pages one week before it is posted everywhere else. For $5 you can see everything I post before the rest of the diapered world. For $10 you can see every update early plus EVERY exclusive story I have written. That's 35 stories available ONLY on my subscription pages and nowhere else! I rely on my wonderful subscriber's support to be able to write like I do. Writing is my only income and the money I earn goes to help paying the bills, food and everything else my wife and I need. Everyone's support is HUGELY appreciated, without it I would have to find other work and I wouldn't be able to write nearly as much as I do, maybe at all. So thank you to everyone who checks out my subscriber pages and considers supporting me ❤️  https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy --- With a whine I left the room. My potty wasn’t in there anyway, when Mom was finished on her call, I wanted to be ready and waiting besides the potty and that meant I needed to find it. I looked in the kitchen but couldn’t see the little training toilet. It wasn’t in the living room either. Feeling increasingly anxious I looked back into the dining room to see Mom still on the phone. Things were getting dangerously close to the edge. I needed to find the potty, if I could get it in front of Mom, I might still make it. I hurried back up the stairs feeling pressure in my lower belly. I opened the doors as I frantically looked in each room for the damned potty. It wasn’t in the bathroom, where the toilet seemed to taunt me, it wasn’t in Mom’s bedroom and her office was locked which left my room, but I would’ve seen it if it was in there. I slowly stepped back into my room where I saw Kat sitting on the airbed holding the potty in her hands. I felt my blood run cold. “W-Where did you get that!?” I asked. “It came out of the cabinet when you tripped on it.” Kat said. She rubbed her eyes, either she was still waking up or she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, maybe both. “I… I…” My mind raced as I tried to find a reason for having the potty. There was no answer that made sense and preserved my self-respect. “Alice, what’s going on?” Kat asked with a worried frown. “I…” Could I spill the whole truth? Absolutely not. What could I say? I keep using my diapers like a helpless baby and Mom is potty training me. Not a chance. What to tell Kat soon became a secondary concern as a cramp pushed through my belly. Just for a second, I thought I was about to lose control, but I managed to hold back at the very last moment. My struggle must’ve shown on my face though as Kat put down the potty and stood up. She was only wearing her underwear but after being friends throughout college it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. “What’s wrong?” Kat asked. I was fighting back the tears. My resolve had been weakened and I felt my shoulders sag as the cramp lessened but didn’t fully go away. I felt a rumble deep in my bowels, an angry portent of things to come. There was no point in lying, what was soon to happen was inevitable and hiding it from Kat would be impossible. I took a deep steadying breath and start unloading everything on my best friend. “Mom’s trying to potty train me.” I said through shame which settled in my throat and threatened to not let any words through, “I’m not allowed to touch my diaper or use the toilet. I’m supposed to ask for help when I need to go, and I’m meant to use… that.” I pointed to the potty that now laid discarded by the foot of the mattress. I saw Kat slowly look to the potty and then back at me. Her face was unreadable. She clasped her hands together and fidgeted, she seemed utterly baffled by everything and had no idea how to respond. “And I really, really need the potty.” I added. Though it seemed unnecessary. “Alice… This isn’t normal.” Kat finally said with a shake of her head, “Potty training you? You’re twenty-three years old! You didn’t need any of this stuff at college!” I shrugged and looked down at the floor. College already felt like an age ago. Too much had happened since then, I was a different person. Kat was shocked by it all, I knew that, but if she had seen it all I’m sure she would’ve understood what was happening better. Mom had been given no choice but to do this. What else could she do when I kept wetting myself? “Look, I don’t want to pry but…” Kat stepped forwards and lowered her voice, “Is this your Mom’s doing?” “No!” I said quickly, “She’s just trying to help me.” “Are you sure? It’s just…” Kat started. My friend stopped talking as I bent over at the waist with both my arms against my belly. The situation was now critical. There was no time to wait or debate what was happening. I let out a high-pitched whine as I felt on the verge of losing control right in front of Kat. “You can’t go to the toilet by yourself?” Kat asked. I shook my head. “Could… Could I take you?” Kat asked hesitantly. It was my turn to be shocked. But that shock quickly became embarrassment. I shook my head to say no, it was an absurd idea, I couldn’t let my best friend take me to the toilet as if I was her potty-training toddler. But slowly, my head shaking turned into a nod. What choice did I have? It was either go to the bathroom with Kat or have an accident in my diaper. In truth, I didn’t know if Kat was “allowed” to accompany me to the bathroom, but we could worry about that detail later. “Come on.” Kat said as she hurried over to the door. I had to waddle awkwardly with one hand pressing the padding of the diaper against my butt. Every step pushed me closer to losing control and by the time I reached the door I could feel my hole quivering. In front of me, Kat had almost run to the bathroom door and was holding it open. She motioned to me to hurry, clearly, she had no idea just how precarious my predicament truly was. This felt like such a surreal scenario. The woman I had spent years going out with now leading me towards the bathroom, how things had changed in next to no time at all. With each step I came closer to losing my control. I whined as I could feel my bowels pushing down and the resistance crumbling. I was caught halfway down the landing feeling like any movement would see me lose control once and for all. Kat was in front of me still trying to get me to come towards her, but I couldn’t take another step. Even as I stood still, I could feel poop starting to push out of my body. I was completely helpless to stop it. It was over. I was mere feet from the toilet, I could see it right in front of me, but it was too late. “Alice?” Kat said as I raised my hand to cover my face, “Alice, are you…” I nodded my head. Kat didn’t need to say anymore. We both knew what was happening. I gave up trying to hold back the avalanche and the poop that had already been mostly outside my body dropped into my fluffy diaper. There was more to come though and even as I felt the warmth radiating from the first lump it was joined by more. I stuck my butt out behind me and separated my legs a little to try and get in a more comfortable position to bear down. If I was soiling my diaper I might as well, make it a thorough job. I sobbed slightly as I pushed. My red face, scrunching up as I loudly broke wind, was followed by a rush of soft waste into the back of my disposable. I shivered as the smell spread around me. I had my eyes covered and could only imagine what Kat was thinking. I had assumed she would’ve been walking away from me in disgust, even as she tried to help me, I had shown her how useless and helpless I was. Mom was right, I was nothing more than a useless, pathetic ba-… “It’s OK.” Kat’s voice was soft and came from right in front of me. I hadn’t noticed her coming so close. With a grunt I pushed one last time but very little came out. I slowly stood up straight but kept my face covered. I freely wet myself, there seemed little point in holding that back with what had just happened in the back of my underwear. “I’m… I’m… sorry.” I muttered through sobs that caused my breathing to hitch. I felt Kat’s arms wrap around me. She was showing me more compassion than I deserved. After visiting for a quick catch up with a friend she had been subjected to the real me. She didn’t ask to become a part of everything that was going on. It was my fault she was here. At least she would now understand why Mom treated me the way she did. “It’s OK.” Kat said quietly, “You’re OK.” It was obvious Kat had no idea how to handle the situation and I couldn’t blame her. I felt so pathetic. I started to think about Mom finding me like this. She had asked me to wait just a little bit, and I couldn’t do it. I felt even more panic rising through me as I felt the squishiness in my diaper press against me. “Shall I get your mom?” Kat asked. She seemed unsure that it would really be the best thing for her to do. “No!” I quickly pulled away from Kat and looked into her eyes. I could feel the panic radiating out of me like the stink that was polluting the air. I couldn’t let Mom find out. Things were already going so bad, if she thought I was going to go around pooping myself like this it would get even worse. There was only one other option, however, and suggesting it felt like I would be pushing my friend past her breaking point. I waited, maybe Kat would suggest it. She was looking completely unsure of what to do, her face was wrinkled slightly from the smell. “Do… Do you think you could…” I started slowly. I wiped my eyes and slowly stood up with a wince. I couldn’t look at Kat but by this point I had already pushed the limits of what she could possibly accept, I might as well go all the way, “Do you think you could change me?” “Me!?” Kat exclaimed. Her eyes were wide, and she took a step backwards, “I… I don’t know if I should. I don’t know if I could, to be honest. Your mom is just downstairs, I should just get her.” “I don’t want her to know!” I whined, “She already thinks I’m some sort of baby…” “I’m… I’m sure that’s not true.” Kat said. Though she seemed unsure. “She does.” I replied with my shoulders sagging, “I don’t want her to know what happened.” “Why?” Kat asked, “Surely she should help.” I remained silent. The truth was that Mom would change me but after that things would get worse, they always did. Every time I used my diapers like this, things got worse. She saw me as less capable of looking after myself and all I could do was pray it was rock bottom. It never was though. There was always more she could do to embarrass me. Finding me in a messy diaper, I dreaded to think what that could mean. I was already restricted form the potty, given drinks in sippy cups and getting my food cut for me, God only knew what would happen next. “You really want me to do that?” Kat asked doubtfully. The answer was that, no, I didn’t want my best friend to change my stinky diaper. In an ideal world none of this would’ve happened and I would instead just be living a normal life. But this was the situation I was in and if my choice was Kat changing me or Mom finding me like this then it didn’t feel like a choice at all. I looked at Kat. I couldn’t bring myself to repeat what I wanted her to do. She understood. I could see her looking from me to the stairs and back. She was torn between wanting to help me and not wanting to experience this messy diaper any more than she already had. I felt a sudden clarity about what I was really asking for. I was massively overstepping what I could expect someone to do for me. “Forget it.” I sniffed, “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s OK, I’ll wait for Mom.” “You really think she’ll punish you for this?” Kat asked with concern, “Even though her rules caused it?” “It’s not really punishment.” I said. I shifted on the spot awkwardly, “She just treats me like I act.” I could see that Kat wanted to reply to that. Her mouth opened and it seemed like she had something to say before she simply shook her head. I assumed it was in disappointment about me. I hung my head. I understood that she didn’t want to get further involved, I had already asked too much of her. “OK, let’s be quick though.” Kat finally said, “Get your stuff ready, I’ll open some windows to let some air in.” I looked up in surprise. Kat was already leaning over the banister to start opening the windows. I found it hard to believe she was really going to do this for me. I felt my eyes filling with tears, it was more kindness than I deserved. “Go on.” Kat said when she saw me still standing there, “If your mom catches us… Well, it’s probably best we don’t let that happen.” I nodded my head and turned around. My diaper was hanging heavily between my legs, I could feel it swinging slightly with each step as I waddled back to my room. I quickly pulled a new diaper out of the drawer and retrieved the wipes and powder. I tried to be as careful as I possibly good when lying down on the bed. I thought I did a pretty good job of not spreading the mess. No sooner had I laid down completely than Kat was walking in. When she saw me, she stopped for a second, hesitated, and then carried on over. “You… You don’t have to…” I muttered. “I get the feeling it would be better for me to do this than your mom.” Kat replied, “I’m not an expert, but I’ll do my best.” I looked away in embarrassment as Kat leaned over me. She pulled at the tapes of my diaper with shaking hands, her nervousness was very obvious. I couldn’t blame her, what was waiting inside the diaper was far from pleasant. She seemed to take a deep breath through her mouth as she pulled the last tape away. “Ugh…” Kat groaned as she slowly lowered the front of the disposable. The smell got a hundred times worse, and I couldn’t blame my friend from recoiling from me. She looked away from the poopy diaper and swallowed hard, I thought she might’ve been attempting to keep from throwing up. She saw a window to the side of the room and went over to it. She leaned out and gulped down a few lungfuls of air. I waited on the bed and whilst I hoped she finished the change sooner rather than later I didn’t feel like I could hurry her up. If Mom caught me in this compromising situation, I wasn’t sure what would happen. The last thing I wanted was to drag Kat into everything. I would never be able to live with myself if someone else got in trouble for my mistakes. “OK…” Kat seemed to say to herself more than anyone as she turned and came back to the bed. I could only imagine what was going on in Kat’s head at that moment. She fumbled the box as she pulled out some baby wipes and swallowed hard as she reached down towards my diaper area. I knew she had at least glimpsed my private place when Mom had changed me the previous evening but now, she was getting up close and personal. To start with, Kat was very hesitant. As she ran the wipes across my skin, she barely put any pressure behind them meaning not a lot happened. After a few of these light touches she started to grow a little bolder. I wasn’t sure if the smell was less noticeable with the window open or if we were just getting more used to it, but she started to concentrate more on getting me clean. It took a few minutes longer than Mom usually took but she did eventually have me clean. “Lift up.” Kat said. I did as she asked and watched as she very carefully pulled the soiled diaper out from under me. I was glad she was taking a lot of care with this part of the process, the last thing I wanted was a stained carpet. Kat folded the diaper closed and as she placed the last of the tapes, she allowed herself a small smile. Kat took the diaper across the room to the diaper pail and pressed down on the lever to open the lid. She dropped the diaper inside and took a deep breath. I only hoped Mom wasn’t anal enough to have counted the used diaper in the trash and that she wouldn’t notice an extra one. I sat up and heard the new diaper crinkle loudly. Whilst it wasn’t as good as when Mom did it, I had to admit Kat had done a good job taping me up. I stood up and got myself dressed again. There was an awkward silence. Kat was hovering near the window where the fresh air was strongest, and I sat back down on the edge of my mattress. What are you supposed to say to your best friend after they have just changed your diaper? “Thank you.” I practically whispered. Kat smiled a little but didn’t say anything in return. My heart dropped. She didn’t want to know me anymore. My babyish behaviour had finally pushed my best friend too far and now it looked like she couldn’t wait to leave. I watched as she hung her head and then turned towards me. She looked anxious. “I’m worried about you.” Kat said. She walked over and sat on the bed next to me. “I’m feeling OK now.” I replied. “That’s not what I mean.” Kat sighed. “I don’t understand.” I frowned. “Your mom.” Kat said, “Is she… abusive?” I was stunned. My mouth dropped open, and I expected Kat to start laughing or telling me she meant it as a joke. Instead, she looked at me with deadly seriousness. It seemed ludicrous to me that someone would think Mom was abusive. I wasn’t some child that came from a bad home, I was an adult and, sure, Mom was strict but so were lots of moms. No, Mom was just doing what I made her do. “Of course not!” I said perhaps a little too loudly. For some reason my heart was hammering and I felt tears prickling my eyes again. “Are you sure?” Kat asked, “What with the diapers and the way she’s treating you…” “I deserve it.” I quickly clarified, “I keep having accidents. Mom had no choice.” “You know you can talk to me, right?” Kat’s eyes seemed to reflect a sadness I felt inside, “About anything.” “I know.” I replied. “I mean it.” Kat turned sideways and took my hand in hers, “About anything at any time of the day or night. If you call me, I will always answer.” “Kat, you’re blowing this all out of proportion.” I shook my head and smiled, “I’ll be fine.” Before any more words could be exchanged, we heard Mom’s footsteps on the landing outside the bedroom. I quickly pulled my hand away from Kat and sat up straight as the door opened. Mom stepped inside with a smile on her face. “Right, that phone call took longer than expected.” Mom said as she walked straight over to the chest of drawers that contained my diapers, “I imagine you’ll need a change.” “Actually, I don’t.” I replied. “You held on?” Mom’s face changed in an instant. She was deeply suspicious, “You still need the potty?” “No.” My cheeks were red. Lying to Mom was really difficult, I thought her eyes could see right through my forehead at the thoughts within, “Kat helped me go to the toilet.” Mom stood completely still. Her eyes flicked from me to Kat and back again. The drawer was still half open and now she slowly pushed it closed. I knew Mom well, I could see that she was furious, but she attempted to hide it behind a neutral expression. I swallowed anxiously. If she found out I was lying I would be in a lot of trouble, and I desperately didn’t want to drag Kat into things. “I see.” Mom finally said. An icy tone in her voice, “That was very nice of her.” “It was no problem.” Kat said. She hesitated and then continued, “I’m a little confused though. How come Alice needs to be escorted to the bathroom?” “It’s rather a long story.” Mom said. I knew she wouldn’t like being questioned, “The weather has certainly cleared up overnight. I daresay you’ll be ready to leave, hmm?” I looked at Kat. She opened her mouth as if about to reply something, but she must’ve caught me looking her way. I subtly shook my head and whatever she had been about to say disappeared. I was thankful for that. After a couple of seconds Kat stood up and started gathering her things. We all made our way to the stairs where Mom peeled off to examine the bathroom. Kat seemed to be in a hurry to go but when I opened the front door she hesitated before leaving. “Listen, you need to keep in touch with me, OK?” Kat said, “On messenger, texts, calls, whatever.” “I will.” I said. “I’m serious. Don’t ignore me like before.” Kat’s eyes flicked up to the top of the stairs as Mom started coming down, “Any time of the day or night, for any reason. I’m here for you.” “I know, but rea-…” I was cut off. Kat had stepped forwards on to the threshold of the house and wrapped her arms around me. It was such a tender hug I felt like I was sinking into it. Her chin was on my shoulder, and I felt her breath on my skin as she turned to face me. “If you need to get out you can always stay with me.” Kat whispered. Before I could reply she broke off the hug and walked backwards a few steps, her eyes never leaving mine. I jumped as I felt Mom place her hands on my shoulders. “Goodbye Kathleen.” Mom called out. Kat didn’t return the goodbye. Instead, she walked out and got into her car. Mom walked away to the kitchen leaving me in the doorway. I stayed there until Kat’s car pulled away from the curb and drove down the road. As I closed the door, I felt something running down my cheek. I was surprised when I reached up to my face to feel a wet streak from a tear. --- If you enjoyed this and would like to see the next part of the story RIGHT NOW you can do so on my SubscribeStar and Ream pages: https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/mdh29ek3e3dbbd/chapter/mjuvuk0547e5f421 https://subscribestar.adult/posts/2262241

Dang, that is so pleasantly surprising lol.

writing now because New Year’s Day Will be busy. Happy New Year, Daily Diapers!   December 18th is my birthday. It’s also the date I inserted this stent, which has only come out once for its weekly cleaning. Each day it gets better and better and has become my best birthday/Christmas gift to me.    each night I drink a lot of liquid before sleep so that if the stent migrates it will be able to be expelled with the force of the urination. Over time the migrations have become shallower and shallower. Even having intercourse with my wife which used to mean complete migration and probably a day or more of working to expel the stent, has become resolvable before I wake up.   another fun bit for me is I have started running again. At first the stent was very pronounced and my urethra was sore for a few hours. The next time 2 days later the irritation was less. The next time 2 days later it was barely noticeable. I did not have any residual soreness except for day one so that was just my body inside and out getting used to working out again. I place a size 7 baby diaper in my boxer briefs and where shorts with leggings. The two together hold the diaper in place well. As I am running I leak very little, but once I completely stop the urine pools out. It’s so nice getting healthier while also enjoying my stent and “incontinent” lifestyle. always nice to be able to post positive updates ☺️. Praying everyone has a healthy, happy, prosperous and blessed New Year!

Chapter 10: Really, Actually   Claire sat in the corner bottom level of the Greenwood Roastery, fingers tapping on her earl grey tea in nervousness. What am I doing? She thought to herself for the 22nd time that day, feeling conflicted on why she’d even humor this idea, let alone be in a coffee shop waiting to meet her student who also happened to be her online daddy.  Although they both hadn’t went online within the past 24 hours, it was like the hollow feeling Claire had the past week since he’d been suddenly gone had been filled in a warmth. It was like a blanket was over her, swaddling her in a comfort to know that the person she’d felt lost without had returned and that made her giddy. Claire stifled the giddiness every time she felt it though, feeling guilty that she’d already went against her university’s code of ethics.  She was… meeting with a student inappropriately. Claire should’ve said no to his invite for coffee. She should have told him that it was inappropriate, and they needed to cut ties. Yet, she didn’t, she couldn’t. Her mind, her heart, and her soul just couldn’t abandon this person. Whatever and whoever Kade Preescott was, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.  He knew her. He actually knew her. They had plenty of intimate conversations about the roleplay, power dynamics and phrases they both shared mutual enjoyment in. She’d admitted her enjoyment of being forced into submission, being degraded and humiliated by words, garments and clothing. She remembered the conversation all to well: DaddyDom24: LittleScribbler, tell me, what do you enjoy about roleplay? Like, really actually enjoy? I want to hear the things that really make you blush, that make you squirm. Then I can be a better Daddy to my little girl. She remembered blushing and squirming by those written words alone, taking a moment to organize her thoughts swirling in her head before writing. She tapped her finger on the metal of her laptop for a few seconds before sending it: LittleScribbler: Hmmmm. I’d say… being forced to comply to what to wear or do even if I grumble or act like I don’t want to be babied. Being reminded that I asked for it or that I like it, even when I’ll act like I don’t. Being told to do things. Being punished if I decide to be a brat. Being restrained would be nice. I haven’t tried it, but I think it’d be fun. I think also the belittling phrases always get me to. I enjoy the phrases in your story where the Daddy asks questions that trapped the little in her corner followed by something that makes her be reminded that she needs him. I like the phrases like, “You want to do ____? But you’re too little to do ____.” Those made me squirm, admittedly. I think the mental play and phrasing gets me the most. It’s almost like roleplay gaslighting an adult into a little state, yet it’s a delicacy when done right.  Claire fidgeted, embarrassed on what she typed and holding her breath as his typing bubble showed after a minute and his response popped up: DaddyDom24: I’m seeing a pattern of a stubborn little girl who likes to act like she doesn’t need her diapers or her daddy, is that a correct assumption? Claire felt the heat on her face, blinking at how he somehow took exactly what took her a paragraph to type and made a question that was uniquely degrading and humiliating, in a perfect mix like she had described. It was like she was suddenly so seen and understood for the first time in any relationship she’d ever had. They had been talking for a month so far, yet Claire distinctly remembered this was the time she’d entered into having real feelings with this anonymous person online. She swallowed, typing back: LittleScribbler: Maybe. She saw his typing bubble appear and disappear a few times before his response popped up: DaddyDom24: Oh, is that so? Maybe, if we were in person, you’d get a spanking for your indecisive answer. Daddy doesn’t like those.  Now she was squirming, feeling tingling across her body: LittleScribbler: It’s unfair how good you are at making me feel little, seen. Even if I don’t agree. His response came seconds later: DaddyDom24: It’s unfair how much you act like a big girl every day, yet you desperately need rules, your diapers, a spanking and your Daddy to remind you what you really are. She blinked, gasping at how he took her admission to what really makes her feel little and use it like a weapon against her so quickly. She watched his typing for a few minutes, wondering if maybe she should respond, but then his message came through: DaddyDom24: I really am enjoying this, you know. I’ve always fantasized of this type of roleplay of degrading and humiliating a woman who is perceived as strong and independent, like my stories. I think past littles have just wanted the standard ‘cinnamon roll’ Daddy and they are too good. Too willing to be babied. It takes away the fun of degrading or stripping down their responsibilities. That’s what I really enjoy, a little who acts big and needs reminders of who they really are. I enjoy the arc of a powerful woman being made small and treated like their incompetent. It gives me a feeling I can’t fully explain of trust, ownership, power and control that’s exciting for me to have the runway to do whatever I want, when I want and you wouldn’t have a say in it. Sure, there’d be safe words or a line, but I want the bandwidth to make all the decisions and do what I want, in your best interest of course. Claire tasted blood from how hard she bit her lip, surprised that what he was looking for was the exact dynamic she craved. She swallowed, almost salivating on how he spoke her language so fluidly, so easily.    Claire sat at the café, looking at her phone time and seeing it was a minute before 10AM. She watched as people entered the coffee shop, sitting purposefully in a corner facing the door so she’d see him walk in. Given, she’d gotten there 15 minutes early to caffeinate before her conversation. She needed to be straightforward with him and clearheaded. Claire’s logical brain told her to say they couldn’t continue whatever this was until after he graduated. Her abstract thoughts pulled her into the abyss of her deep, dark interests and that this opportunity would disappear if she didn’t try it.  Her mind went back to Lila’s advice the other day about her footsteps she was following in Professor Walsh’s legacy. However, Lila did mention ethics and this was… completely against that. Her mind wavered back to logical, eyes focusing on the ceramic mug’s turquoise glaze and trying to remind herself the reality of this situation. She would hold firm and say... no? Yes, well, no. That would be her answer. Claire’s eyes flicked up, her heart skipping as she met Kade’s light green eyes as he approached. How did I miss his entrance? She thought to herself, realizing how deep in thought she was that she hadn’t realized the door chimed and he had entered.  “Professor Grimmer.” He said, a corner of his mouth raised, yet his eyes held a new flicker of recognition of who she really was. It was a heated gaze that she had to flick her eyes down for a moment as she straightened her back, trying to recollect her confidence.  “Mr. Prescott.” She said in a quick chirp, a higher octave than she intended, nodding to the stairs, “I was going to suggest us going to the second floor. It’s a bit more... private. For the... nature of our conversation.” She said slowly, feeling her face heat at the difficulty of saying this words. She even ended her second sentence in a quieter voice than she meant, making her internally cringe.  Kade’s eyes flickered in an amusement, by something that almost seemed like an unspoken inside joke between him and him only, “I’ll order and meet you up there.” She ignored his look, deciding to not even ask. Honestly, she was afraid of the answer in a public place like this, knowing the way he spoke to her online and, although he'd not verbally teased her yet, she didn't want to open the door to that. He nodded to her tea, “I’ll order you a refill. Earl grey and honey?” He asked, tilting his head in thought of what she mentioned she liked to drink on the weekends when she wasn’t chugging coffee during the week. She blinked, surprised he even remembered a conversation from a month or so ago, let alone he’d be considerate enough to get her a refill. She shook her head as she scooted out of the booth with her tea, “No, I can-“ His hand came easily across the table, hovering near the ceramic mug and eyeing her with an eyebrow raised in a nonverbal question for consent to take it from her. Claire gulped, feeling so thoughtless suddenly, “Okay. Thanks.” She muttered, handing it to him. “Mhm.” He murmured as she stood, grabbing her coat in her hands and satchel as he walked over to the counter with a swagger of confidence that made her pause and watch him with a new lens on. His confidence, tall and muscular form plus his intellect, ambition and dominant side that only she knew. He went to the counter, watching him and his strong jaw work in  thought of what he should order. His dark hair, light eyes, and confidence was not missed in her class, yet knowing who he was in an online setting made her hair on her arms rise. Her brain was suddenly muddled and forgetting her intentions she’d set on in the minutes before he walked in.  Claire nudged herself out of gawking at him when his head slightly turned her way, as if feeling her stare. She looked to the stairs, trying to repel the thoughts she shouldn’t have about her student from her university. Claire walked to the stairs and up them, eyes glancing at the books lining the stairwell in decoration to distract her thoughts. Some books were displayed open and cut into butterflies and heart pages. She admired the artwork as she got to the second level, glancing to only a few tables occupied with young couples or friends. Her eyes found a back corner table that was hidden by a bookshelf and sat near the wall looking out to the parking lot and wooded field in the distance. It was far enough away from the other tables that it would hopefully be out of sight and ears of anyone nearby. Claire sat in the chair facing the window, hoping she could use it as a distraction to break eye contact with Kade when she needed to lessen her intense emotions she was already, admittedly, feeling. She got out her phone, glancing at the time and idly opening it to look through her personal email. She almost jumped as her mug reappeared in Kade’s hand, setting it in front of her as it steamed, “Uhm, thanks.” She said, trying to hide her flinch by speaking, unsure if it was even slightly convincing. “Of course. I appreciate you meeting with me, Professor.” He said as he sat down across from her with his black coffee, stating ‘professor’ to act as if this was anything but an appropriate discussion between a student and professor. As if they were there for an after class discussion. Maybe it was her overthinking it, but the word held almost a polarizing meaning now coming from him that made a chill go down her spine. She nodded, taking in a steadying breath, “Look, Mr. Prescott…” She trailed off, his name even feeling... weird? Why didn't it feel right? Her brain prickled in the thoughts as her eyes darted to his awaiting ones as his eyebrows furrowed slightly. She paused, reorganizing herself like she'd done countless times for lectures, “I don’t know how to go about saying this in any other way but I’m not sure if we should continue speaking in any other context outside of your studies until after you graduate.” Her eyes darted to her mug, trying to avoid eye contact. She dared a look up, seeing his gaze only flickering in humor, as if amused by her statement.  A corner of his mouth twitched, “Claire.” He said her name for the first time and it caught her attention, feeling a warmth in her chest hearing her name roll off his tongue as he a cocked brow in challenge to her statement, “Do you really believe that’s really, actually what you want?” She shifted, blinking at the phrase she recognized from their chat when they were discussing what they'd liked in the DDLG dynamics. Her eyes flicked to his amused ones, as if he'd had this prepared and had done his homework to invoke meaning by two simple words.  Claire's eyes flickered in internal conflict. A moment later, a raw, honest glimmer of emotion showed for the first time in her green eyes. Claire stared evenly at him, trying to maintain a cool composure, “No, it’s... not. But it’s what we both need to do to maintain an appropriate, professional relationship." She said finally, pausing to look down at her mug and break his intense gaze before meeting his light green eyes again, "It’s against the school’s ethics to continue anything and I have to step back.” She said, unblinkingly to his still humored expression. He took a slow sip of his coffee, a corner of his mouth raised as if not taking her seriously and like she was lying to him. Kade paused for a moment, eyeing her and really looking at her before speaking, “In the context of everything, our inappropriate relationship began 4 months ago. If you truly want to be appropriate and ethical, Professor-" His eyes searched hers with a flicker of intimidation mixed with taunting as he said her name, "either I’d need to drop your class, or you’d have to ask to transfer me." He said as a final statement, not leaving room for argument or debate, "So, what will it be then?” He asked, sitting back and crossing his arms underneath his tight charcoal grey half zip sweater.  Claire blinked in surprise of his suggestion, shaking her head immediately, “No, that’s not necessary. We can keep distance and-“ He cut her off, “Let me ask you this, Professor: if I even pass your class and graduate... Then we have a relationship, wouldn’t that raise questions?” He leaned forward with his elbows on the table as his hand reached out, resting a few inches away, not touching her but nearby proximity between there hands felt almost like real touch, “And if I don’t, then that’s 4 more months and, after, I'd be leaving for California to work to work at my father’s company until I pay off my debt.” He paused, studying her thoughtful, surprised reaction to his honest words before continuing, “Let me be clear: this is already inappropriate. I cannot watch you in lecture and not imagine you in your diapers and how you’d blush in front of me when I change you." Her brain became suddenly fuzzy, blinking in surprise of the confidence and callous of his words in public, "When I imagine things we’ve talked about ever since I found out. I can't pretend anymore, this is now. In real life. Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.” She swallowed at her suddenly dry mouth, shifting as she felt an unwelcomed wetness between her thighs from his words. Hearing him saw ‘your diapers’ in a public area making heat travel up her neck to her cheeks. Kade continued, eyes now serious in intensity, “Trust me, I tried not to, but it’s now all I can think about.” He admitted, fingers brushing his full lips as he continued, “If you are as brilliant as I know you are, you’d recognize that there’s little room for us doing anything now or later without it affecting your career. It’s either we do this or we don’t. Ever.” The compliment burned and simmered beneath her skin in a delicious way as she licked her suddenly dry lips, unable to think of words to protest. He sat back in a relaxed way, crossing his arms, “This is a risk for both of us. I understand your career is on the line but so is the future of mine that I haven’t even started yet.” Kade’s eyes skimmed her face from her eyes to her cheeks and lips before meeting her eyes again, “All this to say: I think waiting 2 months or 6 months to try this is a false pretense and, honestly, a waste of time for both parties." He paused before saying with a solemn tone, “There’s only two options here: I will either stay in your class and see this connection through... Or I withdraw from your class and we will stop everything between us.”  Claire felt her heart drop, knowing that his words were raw and true on what was reality of the situation. Her professional mask leaving entirely as she blinked and felt her eyes water from the idea of ending everything today, here. Her mind swarmed in scenarios and analyzing all feasible options, yet, as much as she hated to admit it: Kade was right.  There were only two options. The safe and relationship ending one or the riskiest one that could cost her career she spent the past almost ten years building up to. Her logical brain screamed to end everything. End the relationship, cut it off and go back to her boring life. She blinked, realizing that sounded... awful, terrible. No more of her virtual Daddy. No more of her role-play every weekend. No more of her rules and feeling like she could off-load a bad day and depend on someone else, even if it were online. It'd all disappear. Poof. Gone. Her heart and the memory of her recent pain in no contact in the past week reminded her that this meant much more than just some online fling.  Her mind settled on one decision making question: What was more worth living for: her dream career, wealth unlocked and professional accolades or a real relationship that could fulfill her deepest, wildest fantasies becoming real before her very own eyes? Claire’s eyes, lost and shifting at her mug, slowly rose to Kade’s light green-grey ones patiently waiting as she came to her decision. One that could, no, would change the trajectory of her life forever that had been suspended in this one moment. She began, eyes shifting in making her overwhelmingly final decision, "I..."        ________________________ Happy New Year to everyone! Thought I'd end the year on a cliffhanger and start the year in the next part.  I promise to not leave this for long, next chapter is inbound!😄