Other Fetishes

To add my 2 cents, I always feel life can be too serious and I try to lighten things up by being facetious and turning comments into something that may give people a chuckle and maybe brighten their day a bit.  Give me a small opening and I'll run with it. 

First thing I thought was, "It won't help sitting on the toilet to poop if you're not going to pull down your pants first!"

No offence, but why the hell would you go to a metal festival?

I think this was meant to be a funny post and not to be taken seriously.  Why do they call it a "Pair" of pants yet "One" bra?  Why do you "Park" in a "Drive" way?  I think we sometimes need to step back a bit and not take everything as a serious question instead of the funny post it's meant to be.

Mini-Story: An Awkward Conversation. “YOU’RE A BABY?!” You know that voice. You freeze. Every hair on the back of your neck goes rigid. You KNOW that voice. On bare feet, you turn around and look at the all too familiar face, while yours heats up with shame and embarrassment.  “I CAN EXPLAIN!” “REALLY?” your old friend says. “YOU’RE A BABY?!” Your mind races and your mouth runs even faster. “It’s not my fault,” you stammer. “My Mommy and Daddy-! I mean the Grown-Ups-! I mean I’M a Grown-Up!”  This is not helping your case. Neither is the fact that you’re completely without pants and your pampers are far from pristine.  “YOU’RE A BABY?” “They had me watch a video! And it explained…I mean I had to watch it to prove I was a big kid and…and…”  You sound stupid saying it. You lack Mommy or Daddy or any of your teachers or babysitters confidence or conviction. “I started having accidents because of the stress, you see and…” “YOU’RE?! A?! BABY?!” You hear disbelief in every syllable- no, every phoneme- of your former companion’s words. Every nightmare you were having before Mommy and Daddy decided to let you “take a break” from potty training.  “I just started wetting the bed and…and…I’m not a bedwetter anymore, though, right? This…”   You weren’t a bedwetter because bedwetters only had trouble keeping their pants dry while sleeping.  You barely wore pants anymore at all.  You suddenly wish Daddy had put something over your diaper today.  This t-shirt wasn’t cutting it and it won’t no matter how hard you try to tug it down below your waist. You know from past experience. “You failed potty training.” Your old friend says. “You’re not potty trained.” “I didn’t FAIL potty training per se,” you try, “I”m just….” Your mind goes blank. Just thinking about that potty training video starts you dribbling again into the thirsty padding. REMEMBER KIDS! LISTEN TO YOUR BODIES! GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS LISTEN TO THEIR BODIES AND GO POTTY AS SOON AS THEY FEEL THE NEED! You blink back to the present.  “I didn’t fail! Mommy and Daddy just said we were taking a break!”   How long ago was that?  How long was the ‘break’ supposed to last? Has it been over a year already? “And-and-and-and the ba-bas go right through you!” You fight the urge to choke on your tongue as soon as your ears register what you said.  “Bottles! I mean bottles!”     You never thought this day would come.  When someone who knew you from your life before you were turned into this finally found you. You weren’t turned into this! Mommy and Daddy and other real Grown-Ups just teased it out of you! This part of you was inside you all along!  They said so! Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t lie!  Your friend seems unfazed and unconvinced of your bigness. To be frank, so are you. It sounds so childish coming out of your mouth. So babyish. You’re not blushing because you’re in a wet diaper. You’re blushing because someone who you’re supposed to be embarrassed around is finally here. It’s been so long since you remembered to be embarrassed. Well, you remember now. “Hold on,” your friend says. “I gotta….” They don’t finish the thought.  You watch their knees bend and their elbows tuck. You see their eyes unfocus and they take a deep, pushing sigh. That’s when you realize: They’re dressed the same as you. They’re also wearing a t-shirt and diaper. The only thing they have on that you don’t is sneakers. Your old friend blinks and stands up, their Luvs now drooping slightly. “Like I was saying! You’re a baby too?” “Oh,” you giggle. “Yeah. I guess so.” “Honestly?” they gush. “I was so glad to fail that potty training test my Mommy and Daddy had me do. Underwear? What’s the point?” You feel your whole face light up.  “I know right?” The two of you start walking deeper into the daycare playroom, catching up on old times while you both excitedly plan to make new memories together.   Hopefully before a Grown-Up interrupts you for a change. (Fin)