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Hello, in this post I have written down my own DL story. Ever since my childhood, wearing diapers, wetting myself, and the safe/protective feeling of a diaper have held a special place for me. As I grew older, this interest continued in different forms; during adolescence, when I came across omorashi and similar content on the internet, I also discovered its sexual aspect. At the age of 19, I bought my first adult diapers and gradually began experiencing this on my own. "Adult baby" is definitely not for me; I just love wearing diapers—thick adult diapers, meaning I am a diaper lover.   This interest gets stronger especially during times when I am stressed, lonely, bored, or cooped up at home. Sometimes I use real diapers, and other times I create a similar relaxing feeling using towels, wipes, or other layers. Letting myself go and the feeling of fullness underneath me completely wipe out my stress and boost my self-confidence. For me, this is sometimes a sexual pleasure, sometimes a method of relaxation, and sometimes a rebellion against societal taboos within myself. I have tried every brand of diapers sold in my country; of course, the stress of living in a family home when I am alone and the hustle of hiding them is the most exhausting part of this. Sometimes it doesn't cross my mind at all for a long time; there are even periods when I find the things I used unnecessary or repulsive. Then, when a suitable environment arises, it can surface all over again.   Over the years, there have been periods when I questioned myself about this topic, felt ashamed, and tried to quit the products and content altogether. Returning to it afterward brought back the question "why am I like this?" and feelings of guilt. Especially when I read derogatory comments on the internet, I began to see myself as a pervert, immoral, or troubled person. In contrast, when I see the experiences of people like me, I feel relieved knowing I am not alone. I don't have any childhood trauma related to this; it was probably from a period in my early childhood when I started to enjoy it while being diapered at night, and when my mom said "you're going to quit," I didn't want to stop—that's probably where it stems from.   Other than that, after I stopped wearing them, I had a couple of night-wetting incidents and, at age 7, a time when I had an extreme urge to pee, couldn't make it home in time, couldn't even unzip my pants in the coal shed, and peed my pants so intensely that everywhere turned into a puddle. Up until the age of 33, I never accidentally wet or soiled myself day or night since that day. I was always in control; toilet planning was my top priority, and even now, I need the toilet much less than normal people and can hold it for a very long time. In fact, in high school, because the toilets were dirty, I didn't want to use them, so I adjusted my diet accordingly. I would only go at home in the evening, and once I checked and realized I hadn't been to the bathroom for 18 hours, though it wasn't difficult for me at all.   Maybe this extreme toilet control and discipline bored me, and it turned into an activity that I do—paired with the diaper from my childhood—to reset myself and unload my stress. That's how I interpret it.

Nice!  Welcome as well.  Hope you like it here. 😊

Hello To all my readers who follow the story. I still don't know if I have the time and  resources to come back to a regular weekly publication but I want to start with small parts again when I did the provereading. I hope you still enjoy it. Annie ≈================== “Mummy! ... Daddy!” Lila cheered as she was walking on Laurent's hand back to her parent's apartment. Her mom and dad had been shopping and unloaded a lot of frozen plastic bags containing their favorite food.   She cheerfully started to jump on her way as they was crossing the street, and she noticed the old man's hand holding her tight and safe.   “Mummy ...” the little girl hugged her mother. “Laurent took me to the playground today, and I was playing with my friends.”   “Oh I thought you would just hang out with Alex”, Maria wondered how she convinced the retiree to go with her.   “Hmmm Alex had to do her homework and I ... “ She stopped, unsure if she had broken one of her parent's rules by asking the old man to accompany her. “You know Laurent is not a stranger, when I told him I could not go alone he offered to come with us.”   “So you used your famous puppy eyes on him, and he could not resist.” She realized how childish and cute her princess was when she wanted something.   “Mummy! ...” her daughter blushed a little.   “No, actually, I liked to spend time with her.” Laurent said.   “Thanks for watching her.”, she responded, and was looking for a small present for him.   ‘Now. Invite him’, Noah advised her just in time.   “Mummy, could we offer him to stay for dinner?”, her daughter mentioned the best option to say thank you.   “Just if it would not be inconvenient for you?”, the old man asked, carefully to not interfere with the family's private life.   “Oh, of course you can stay”, her daddy explained.   “Hmmm. Did you say thank you to Laurent for watching you.”, her mum wanted to know from her daughter.   “Thank you, Laurent”, she said, and felt the strange affection of a girl towards her grandfather again.   “Lila, we have to talk about something first”, her mummy, stopped her child who tried to hurry back to her toys.   She lifted her baby up and started to carry her away.   “Your teacher ... Pauline called me this afternoon.” She stared and noticed her daughter immediately turned red and suddenly looked down in shame.   She told her little mischief to her mother. The little girl did not want to hear her talking about that.   It felt like a betrayal.   “Lila ... Lila! ... stop, please ... Stop, listen to me, my baby... She also told me you are a good student and wrote an excellent essay today.”   She had not even noticed how they had made it up to her room and her mum sat her down on her childish bed. Noah, who she carried in her hand, had fallen down on the hard wooden floor just like a fallen knight in the battle for her soul.   With her mum she was facing reality, and she did not want to acknowledge that. But she knew ... for a big girl she misbehaved. The girl quickly growled under her blanket and tucked it over her head.   Her mum noticed that her words were not reaching her anxious child. It was heartbreaking for her to see her baby like that. So desperately afraid about a thing she was sure would be a funny anecdote in a few years.   For a moment, she just stood there, unsure what she could do. How could she be freed from this tantrum full of fear and uncertainty. Her Noah was still looking up at her. Just as he was offering his help.   Would interacting with her in a childish way help her calm down?   She took Noah into her hands and saw Lila's pacifier that she used on some occasions during their vacation laying on her bedside table.   ###   The little girl, who was hiding under the blanket from the scolding that would be coming, dried her tears with her hand when she suddenly noticed Noah growling underneath her cover.   ‘He would not demand her to become a teen again, would he?’ She realized that her stuffed animal did not want to harm her.   ‘Lila, your mummy said I should give you your Binky.’, she heard him say, and she was not even certain she only heard him in her mind. The small, comforting object found its way into her mouth, while Noah cuddled on her chest and belly.   Someone was rocking her through the thick blanket. Strange love was spreading with every soft movement, while her feelings of fear still formed a barrier around her.   She would never fall for this trick, she was sure.   But every wave of love crumbled her resistance.   ‘I will not speak to her!’, she assurüed herself another time as she sweeped away her tears with her slightly wet hand.   Another soft stroke on her belly.   “No!”, a thought rumbled in her mind, her body tensed up. Suddenly she felt a warm and wet feeling spread in her crotch, but she did not care.   ‘You have not even asked her what Pauline said’, Noah was asking with a calm voice   ‘I don't care what ....’, she replied without saying a word, but her castle of prejudice and fear about her teacher collapsed like a sandcastle hit by the tide.   “Hush little baby, don't you cry ... mummy gonna sing you a lullaby”, she heard the soft voice of her mummy.   Maybe she was not so mad after all. She was just helping her, just as you would help a child.   She slowly lifted her blanket, just a bit so that she could take a look.   Quickly she hid again. But her mum was just looking down at her with a smile.   Maybe Noah was right. The fear in her that was burning had been calmed. She wanted to be held, and loved, and she wanted to hear her mummy sing that babyish song.   Slowly, she crawled out and put her blanket aside so that she could take a real look at her.   “And if the diamond turns brass ... Mummy’s going to buy you a looking glass ... ”, she suddenly stopped while Lila still hummed the melody in her head.   “Are you ok?, my little one.”   As she was wiping away her last tears, she nodded.   “Fhy hid you stoff?”, she asked innocently with her paci still in her mouth, and felt a strong affection for her mum.   You could see how Maria was smiling at her girl, who even in the end of her tantrum looked so cute and innocent that you could not be angry with her.   She took her back in her arms and noticed her child's diaper was wet and heavy between her legs. Her daughter probably needed a change of diapers before they could head downstairs for dinner.   For a little while they just sat there as Maria was comforting her girl.   “Are you still angry at me?” Lila finally wanted to know. “I needed my stuffies in school. They help me when I am afraid.”   “I was never angry, my baby. Maybe you surprised me a little, and I think Pauline is right, you may need some help deciding what you need to bring to school.”   “But I don't want to leave my plushies at home. Noah always talks to me when I need advice, and he helps me a lot in school when I cannot speak.”   “So he tells you what to do?” Her mummy wondered about the livid fantasy her daughter had.   Lila nodded, she tucked the beaver under her arm. “He told me he wants to become a pediatric therapist when he grows up.” she explained and felt a little strange as she was confessing her childish imagination to her mother.   Maria thought for a second. Just telling her to leave them at home would not be helpful for her child. She knew that little ones sometimes use invisible friends and stuffed animals to help them in their development.   “I don't want to take your fluffy therapist away”, she promised her. “Are your other plushies also talking?”   “You mean Hopsie and Wiggles, ... Noah told me they will eventually start again when I spend more time with them.”   “And you did not want to let them stay at home either.” Her mum concluded the thought.   Lila nodded, she still believed they are more important than her school notebook and her pencil case. And if she had to decide another time, she still preferred their company over the extra school utilities that she needed during the day.   “But you cannot leave your school supplies at home. My baby. Where have you put your stuff anyway?", her mum asked her?”   Lila reached under her bed and placed all her stuff in her mother's hand.   Maria opened her daughter's school bag and removed Hopsie and Wiggles from the bag. She knew she had to be careful not to hurt her little one, who was just getting confident in going back to school.   “I am sure your friends don't like to be squeezed into your dark schoolbag when they could also ride on the outside”, her mummy tried to explain.   She handed Lila a bag that seemed a little bigger that her usual gym bag and there was a semi transparent mesh fabric so that her friends would be able to look outside.   “So we could all join you in your fun”, she heard someone speak just like Noah, but it was not his voice. “Hopsie ... Wiggles.” She asked a little too loud.   “Yes you can bring all of them.”, her mum explained another time, while she thought she wanted to make sure that Wiggles and Hopsie would not stay at home.   The child's face cheered not only because she liked her mum's idea, no, she was pretty sure she just heard one of her two mute plushies. And they liked to join her in her afternoon activities.   In the meantime, Maria had found a place in the front pocket of her school bag to store her pencil case and her unwelcome utilities for math, while her folder that she used to carry for all her subjects found its place in the back.   And while she was doing the work for her child, she was not annoyed by Lila's lack of independence. No, she was much more relieved that she could finally help her child. ============= As always if you have a few words how you liked it or a comment for me it would be appreciated.  

I understand what you mean when you say flamboyantly gay, there is very a percentage of the gay community with that kind of expression. That said, I've always found that is far more of a group of people in the gay community than the standard or typical expression.

Well, for example this morning I woke up really needing to pee and my inner sphincter was holding tight. Of course if I just kept drinking water and didnt pee, at some point I would pee. Just as I would with my EUS intact. I read a bit about this, some people who had surgery (found this after I had this myself) and pressure to open inner sphincter was on average 50 cm h2o even if they had cuts in it to lower pressure. https://ru.dgb.unam.mx/server/api/core/bitstreams/c7a05401-5b96-4bd7-8937-2e1ee38600e1/content "minimum risk of incontinency" ... You can read that study, very interesting. Easier with AI to translate and summarize...   It is mindblowing how this works. The male urinary system is extremely resistant to "incontinence". So many backups and design-features that keep it tight no matter what if you are not very "unlucky". I got AI to write this from the study posted above: It turns out it’s surprisingly hard to become incontinent in men, even after cutting the external sphincter. The closest study I’ve found is a Mexican series (Moreno Palacios, UNAM/IMSS, 2010) of 30 non-neurogenic men, average age 41, with sphincter dyssynergia. They had a deep cold-knife sphincterotomy at 12 o’clock, running from the bladder neck down to the bulbar urethra, 6 mm deep until fat was visible outside the urethra, plus two extra cuts at 4 and 8 o’clock at the bladder neck. That’s more aggressive than most sphincterotomies. At 6 months, max urethral closing pressure had dropped from 120 to 59 cmH2O, and the bladder pressure needed to pee fell from 74 to 47 cmH2O, which is basically normal male range. Flow went up and residual urine went down. And yet nobody became totally incontinent. About a third had some leaking afterwards, mostly mild urge leaking that faded within months. Three developed stress leaking, and the worst of them used a single pad a day. The reason is the bladder neck, the internal smooth-muscle sphincter. In men it’s strong enough on its own to keep you mostly dry at rest, probably because it has to clamp shut during ejaculation. The external sphincter mainly adds voluntary control: holding urges, stopping mid-stream, clamping during coughs. Take it away and you lose the veto, but not basic continence. Source: Moreno Palacios thesis, UNAM 2010