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Nice chapter. Samantha seems to be acting as she did before, but we still need to assess her physical and hidden mental injuries. I wonder if she’s interested in reaching out to her family and former friends? And will they dare to see her?

“You’re kidding. I can’t wear that!” Katherine spouted. “Of course, you can. Think about it. No one would look twice at you. And definitely no associate will even give you a second thought,” Veronica beamed. “It won’t fit me,” Katherine added. “I bet it will. And who’s going to think you’d ever dress like this. It’s so outrageous!” The audacity of the outfit was a positive. But Katherine already felt insecure. The idea of trading her current ensemble for a more juvenile one was unsettling. But Katherine couldn’t wait any longer to get home. She was mere steps from taking the first dose of growth hormones. Then she would grow big and tall and sexy. She would have her boobs back. They might even be bigger! “Alright,” Katherine sighed. It was good disguise, but Katherine did not want to admit it. Instead, she plucked the Girl Scout uniform from Veronica and turned toward her stall. Suddenly a group of four tipsy women barged into the lounge giggling. Katherine darted and, in the commotion, Veronica joined her. “What are doing? Get out!” Katherine whispered. “I’ll help you.” “I don’t need your help!” Katherine shouted. Her high-pitched childish voice echoed. The chatter from the four ladies halted and the room fell silent. Katherine and Veronica froze. “Everything okay in there?” a lady asked. “We’re fine. I’m just trying to help my daughter change her clothes,” Veronica calmly replied. Katherine turned fiery red and glared at Veronica. Veronica looked down at Katherine. “She’s just being fussy,” Veronica added. “Well don’t disrespect your mama little one,” another lady slurred. “Or...” another woman chimed. It was apparent the woman mimed some action as a round of laughter erupted from the inebriated four. “That’s what you want!” “You know it!” More laughter and snickers reverberated. Then as quickly as they had appeared, they disappeared. The two ladies were alone again. Embarrassed Katherine gave Veronica a small shove out of the stall which yielded little result. “What’d you say that for?” Katherine asked. “It just came out. I had to say something. Anyway, it worked. They didn’t bother us, did they? Wait. I have an idea,” Veronica chimed. “Another one?” Veronica set the canvas bag down, stepped out of the stall and walked to the door. She grabbed a sign which was propped against the trash can. The sign read “Closed for Maintenance”. She hung it on the door handle outside and locked the door. “There, now we can work in private,” Veronica said. Katherine eyed Veronica as she leaned on the sink. She had no desire for the oversexed moose to help her. The prospect of her new outfit was humiliating enough. Katherine stalled which irritated Veronica. “Come on, let’s go. I wanna go drink!” Veronica hurried. Katherine slunk back into the stall and untied the pink pants and carefully stepped out of the long tubes of fabric and laid them aside. She held up the uniform and grimaced. She hated it might fit her. The one-piece dress was a traditional green with large dark green buttons which fastened down the front. It was hideous. Katherine ran her hand across the thick burlap type fabric and groaned. It was miles from her silk and linen ensembles. Katherine removed the t-shirt and added it to the pants on the bench. Katherine turned carefully to avoid the mirror. She cringed as the fabric scraped over her shoulders and knew, even without buttoning it, the uniform fit. The reality of the small garment depressed her. To maintain part of her dignity Katherine attempted to force the uniform over her bra but the tissue paper created a bumpy problem. The thin material stretched awkwardly across her imaginary bosom which made her look deformed. So, Katherine peeled off the uniform and tossed it on top of the t-shirt. Katherine extended her delicate digits into her bra. She shivered slightly as her cold fingers touched her bare chest. She pulled the few wads of tissue from inside and dropped them on the floor. Then she unhooked the last symbol of her adulthood and ceremoniously laid it with the other garments. Desperate to cover her flat pink chest Katherine reached for the scout uniform again. She sighed resignedly at the fate of her temporary prison. Katherine looked up and recoiled from the mirror. Above her reflection was Veronica! The brunette smirked and casually leaned against the Formica support frame. “Oh my god Katherine!” she exclaimed loudly. “I knew you were small, but I had no idea.” There was no point in hiding. Katherine had been exposed. She quickly covered her body with the uniform and spun and faced Veronica. In the mirror, Veronica spotted Katherine’s tiny bottom and grinned. Veronica tried to concentrate as Katherine rambled through the effects of the medicine, but her panties were in eminent danger of abandoning their post. Every time she gestured the panties jiggled south. Finally, she stopped speaking. “So, some medical concoction did this? Well, you should go into business with this supposed doctor and get rich,” Veronica suggested. Katherine’s puzzled expression prompted her further. “You’ve discovered the fountain of youth! Every woman in the world will want this,” she explained. “It doesn’t work that way. And that’s not what this is!” Katherine said loudly. She knew Veronica was poking her but tried to maintain her temper and tone. “Really?” Veronica snorted, “Turn around and take another look at yourself. Go ahead.” Katherine slowly obeyed. “You were already short but now you look even shorter. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see your bra was filled with paper. You’re completely flat chested,” Veronica stated sharply. Katherine lowered the uniform slightly to peek at her non- existent chest. Her breasts, which had been a source of pride, were only a memory. And it was at that precise moment her underwear departed south and Veronica exploded in laughter. “That is one smooth pussy!” Katherine frowned at the vulgarity. “I know women shave and wax, but that doesn’t look right!” Veronica giggled. It was true. The medicine had completely removed any trace of hair, but it had also caused her vagina to shrink, perhaps even regress. Katherine ignored Veronica and stared into the mirror mournfully. She had stepped backwards in time. Katherine’s entire body blushed a deep red and she covered herself. Veronica was engulfed in laughter, but Katherine was grateful. Veronica had failed to notice the other changes to her hips, face, and bottom. But her reprieve was short-lived as Veronica spoke again. “And that cute little butt! I’d kill for a butt that tight,” Veronica guffawed. Veronica rotated her own curvy rear toward the mirror and slapped it. “You look...oh what’s that word? Prepubescent!” Veronica exclaimed excitedly. Katherine had remained completely still during Veronica’s stinging observations. The exposure of her physical truth had pushed Katherine beyond embarrassment. Katherine’s only glimmer of hope was to escape home. Silently she wrapped the uniform around her tiny body. Veronica’s voice shifted to a softer tone. “Look, I was just kidding around. I get it. Here, let me help you,” Veronica offered. “I’m fine,” Katherine stated defiantly. The awkward moment hung in the air until Veronica broke the silence. “So, all you have to do is take the next medicine and you’ll, uh, grow up?” Katherine shot her a look. “Grow out...you know what I mean,” she answered. Katherine nodded yes. “You think it’ll work?” Veronica asked. “It should if you consider how well this worked,” Katherine made a sweeping gesture at her body. “Wow, just think, you might be as tall as me.” Veronica stated. “Maybe. But I’ll be grateful just to have my curves back and hopefully be a little taller,” Katherine said. “Well, I haven’t forgotten our deal. Come on, we’re almost there. Just two flights down and through the lobby.” Katherine reflected for a moment and relaxed. She was right. There was no use to get worked up. Katherine quietly repeated her mantra again. “Stick to the plan. Keep moving forward.” “What was that?” Veronica asked. “Just a little something I say to keep myself motivated.” “I like that. I may use it,” Veronica said. Katherine felt a little more comfortable and decided to dress. She dug into the canvas bag and discovered a few more items. She held up two sealed clear bags and examined their contents. One contained underwear adorned with the Girl Scout logo. The other had a pair of short green socks with frills at the top. “You thought of everything. Thanks, especially for the underwear. Mine has seen better days,” Katherine related. “Sure. I just guessed and told ‘em give me everything and they shoved it in a bag,” Veronica answered. The white cotton panties were positively tiny, and Katherine doubted their size. They seemed more suitable for an eight-year- old girl. Skeptically she pulled them up her coltish legs and over her bottom and snapped them into place. She whirled in the mirror and lifted the short hem of the green dress. She sighed disappointedly. The panties cupped her cheeks which made them appear even smaller. Katherine ignored the implication. Katherine pulled the pair of green socks and plain brown shoes onto her feet. Surprisingly, everything fit, although the shoes were a little loose. Katherine had seen several girl scouts wandering through the hotel but wondered where Veronica had obtained a complete uniform. “Where did you get all of this? You didn’t steal it did you?” Katherine inquired. “No,” Veronica answered ignoring the insult. “I bought it. There’s a regional thing happening. They had a booth.” “I’ll pay you back.” “Yes, you will.” They both smiled at the joke. “It’s a great disguise. No one will give you a second glance. But not looking like that,” Veronica added. Veronica bent down to assist Katherine with her cravat. Instinctually, Katherine lowered her arms to her side. She admonished herself for her subservient obedience but dismissed it. Veronica was helping. Veronica already appeared tall but the action of her leaning into her face made Katherine feel even smaller. Katherine couldn’t help but ogle Veronica’s bountiful cleavage. It seemed primed to escape the confines of her blouse at any moment. Katherine did not usually linger on women’s figures, but Veronica’s breasts were luscious. Katherine was entranced and understood why men fawned over Veronica. Each time she moved her full round tanned breasts rose and jostled together. A pang of jealousy hit Katherine. It was an emotion she rarely experienced, but Veronica’s impressive chest made her feel inadequate. Veronica plopped the beret on Katherine’s head and stood back. After a couple of annoying tongue clicks accompanied by a vacant stare, which Katherine imagined was Veronica’s “thinking face”, she swiftly removed it. Veronica then began to brush Katherine’s hair. “What are doing?” Katherine asked. “Your hair’s a mess. We wanna make sure you’re not spotted, right?” Katherine nodded and silently chastised her involuntary obedience. But she decided it was better to allow Veronica her space. “Let her do her work. Then we can get out of here. Keep moving forward,” she reminded herself. Veronica wrestled with Katherine’s hair for a moment then sashayed to the sink. Katherine watched her round bottom wiggle as the water flowed. She returned with a damp paper towel and leaned over. Again, Katherine was distracted by Veronica’s cleavage. Promptly Veronica ‘s left thumb and fingers pinched Katherine’s chin as her right-hand scrubbed Katherine’s face. “Hey!” Katherine twisted away. Veronica tugged her back into position. “Your makeup is all smeared,” Veronica said. “I can do it myself,” Katherine replied. “I’m almost done,” Veronica. Katherine knew Veronica was right and let her finish. So far, Veronica had been right about everything which irked her. In her disguise, it would be inappropriate to appear in full makeup. It might even draw unnecessary attention. However, it did not asway the humiliation of having her faced scrubbed by the voluptuous Veronica. Finally, Veronica stood up and admired her handiwork. Katherine followed Veronica’s eyes as they moved over her body. It unnerved Katherine. “Oh my god! You look amazing!” And with that single exclamation Veronica gathered up Katherine’s old belongings and shoved them into the canvas bag. She took hold of Katherine’s hand and led her out into the bustling hotel.  Veronica was unaware of the length of her stride and Katherine found herself running to keep up. A few times she almost tripped but Veronica continued their forward motion which prevented her fall. When Veronica first grabbed her hand, she started to protest but assumed it was to expedite their departure. Katherine had no sense of their route through the maze of hallways. So, she trusted Veronica was leading her the most efficient way to a cab outside.

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Hello! I am a first time writer, first time poster. I have browsed these boards for a long, long time. This story is partial bio, partial fantasy. Once the words started it was difficult to stop them. I have 4 chapters written and posted here, hopefully with more to come. I would welcome any feedback and would am open to improving what is already written, in addition to learning about how to better write going forward. Thanks for reading! What I've Always Wanted By TA Practical Chapter 1 I found out that I liked to wear diapers when I was in grade school. I have a few memories from that time that are directly linked to this desire. The oldest is from a visit to an uncle that lived several hours away from my family. We did not visit them much due to the distance and difficulty in organizing a visit from our family of 6 to their family of 6. Once when we visited, we planned to stay the night there due to the long trip. Around bedtime, all of their kids got put into diapers for bed - even the eldest that was, in my mind, too old to be wearing diapers. They were apparently all bedwetters and/or actual babies, so the diapers were necessary. I watched them getting diapered and wondered what it would be like. I wondered why I couldn't have that. I wasn't sure why I felt this way but I did. From that point on, I did things to get diapers. I stole them from grocery stores, which is not a thing I am proud of. I stole them from relatives. I was still small enough that I could fit into the largest size of baby diaper - size 6. I have distinct memories of opening the package on the shelf, taking a few diapers out, and shoving them down the sleeve of my large winter coat. From there I hid them until I got home. I was lucky enough to have my own room so could hide them upon returning home. Being the oldest in my family, my parents also graciously allowed me to have a lock on my bedroom door. Once I was a bit older and could make money, I would go to the local grocery store and buy packs of diapers and bring them home in my backpack. Once in high school, I did this during the school day and had to hide the pack in my locker all day. This wasn't the wisest decision I ever made but I survived that ordeal without anyone finding out about my obsession. I would wear them when I could. I never used them as the fascination then was just the wearing. I also don't recall how I disposed of these diapers. I did not have a garbage can in my room so I guess I probably just snuck them into the kitchen garbage when I could. To this day, I do not know how my parents never discovered that I was doing this.  I was probably 12 years old the first time I actually used a diaper for anything other than just wearing. My family was moving houses and we were staying with my grandmother a town over. We were all sleeping in the basement of my grandmother's house. One day I snuck down there by myself to lay down and foolishly put a diaper on. I do not recall where I got this diaper, but I do remember that even then they were getting too small. As I strained to get the diaper on me, I got one of my first erections, then accidentally had my first orgasm. I freaked out. I didn't know what had happened to me. I panicked and disposed of the diaper as best I could in a small garbage can in the basement. I was terrified that someone was going to find the used diaper and they were going to know it was me. I am certain someone did find the diaper but I never heard from any of the adults about it. I firmly believe this orgasm has informed some of my sexual identity to this day.  My favorite diaper early on were the plastic backed Luvs diapers, with Barney on the landing strip. This is probably why I am so fond of the PeekABU diapers from ABUniverse as they are the closest adult diaper I have found to those Barney Luvs. I remember when I grew out of those diapers and was terribly, terribly upset. To get around this, I would use duct tape to extend the tapes. This worked to a point, but caused discomfort and mess. After that, I would use underwear to hold the diaper in place. When I could not get diapers I would fashion them out of old underwear that I would cut up and insert my mother's stolen period pads. That never quite scratched the itch but it was all I had. Everything changed when I searched the internet for adults wearing diapers. I was an adult myself at this time and the internet was still fairly young, but I had heard that people were having success searching for things that nobody had really thought to search before. It was then that I discovered that there were other people like me. I was shocked. I was not alone in this world. There were entire communities of men and women that shared the same desires I did, some of them even sharing similar experiences to mine. For the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn't a monster or a freak and that brought solace to my troubled soul. From this, I also discovered that one could simply buy adult diapers online. There was even an emerging market for adult diapers that looked like baby diapers. I was over the moon. Diapers were one of the very first things I purchased on the internet. From then onward, adult diapers were a part of my life whenever I could afford them. Around this time, I moved out of my parents' house. I first lived with a coworker in a small 2-bed apartment, then later moved into a large house with several of my friends. In both places I would wear diapers in my bedroom when I had free time. I also started wetting diapers at this point in my life. I discovered that I very much enjoyed the sensation of peeing in diapers, and wearing a wet diaper. This also caused more logistical issues at time as disposing of adult sized wet diapers is quite different from disposing of unused baby diapers, but I managed as best I could. I also discovered during this time that rubbing a wet diaper against an erection was one of the greatest feelings I had ever experienced in my life. I was sexually active with girls at this time and I loved intercourse. I also loved using diapers to masturbate. I was also certain that these two things would never intersect. I could not imagine a woman thinking it was attractive that I wore and wet diapers because it made me feel good. During this period of my life, I distinctly remember wearing diapers to my brother's high school graduation, which was one of the first times I can remember wearing a diaper in public. I don't know what possessed me to choose that event, but I did, and used that diaper in the company of friends and family. I don't think anyone noticed what I was doing, but I don't know for certain. To my surprise, I also dated a woman around this time that was kinkier than I was. I eventually found the courage to share my diaper secret with her. She was actually very open to the idea and even suggested that it would be a nice thing to use during sex as I could masturbate into it with easy clean up. I did not suggest this to her so was thrilled that the idea came from her. We tried it a few times and it was very awkward, but also very nice. That relationship did not work because she eventually cheated on me, but I did learn that I might be able to have at least some of what I wanted in life. Shortly after this, I found myself briefly living at home again. I was working two jobs, going to community college, and didn't really have time for much else. My parents allowed me to sleep on their couch for a spell while I figured out my next move. It was during this time that I met my wife. We met through mutual friends. She was dating someone when we met so a relationship wasn't possible then. She then dated someone else while I was dating so a relationship still wasn't possible. While I was living with my parents though, we found ourselves both single and into each other. One night, I got a call from her saying that she was out at the bar and that she was wondering if I wanted to come out. There were apparently some dudes creeping on her and she could use the assist. I was interested in her so of course I immediately accepted the invite.  We had a few drinks and ended up returning to her place that night. I never left.  A few months after moving in together, I was already certain that this relationship was going to be one that lasted. I decided that I needed to tell her about my diaper needs. I knew then that it would not be possible for me to live without diapers and I had to be sure that she knew what she was getting into with me. So, I told her that I had a really weird thing about me and that I needed to share it. She was curious but told me to tell her on my own time and that she was very into me and was hoping that I would be comfortable enough to share everything about myself. Finally, one night I got up the courage to tell her. I was not entirely honest about how it came about, which I regret now. At the time I told her that I had been having dreams about wearing diapers and that I needed to explore that. I later admitted that I had consciously been thinking about diapers for a long time. She wasn't put off by the idea, but wasn't immediately excited about. She did joke that she could wrap a towel around me like a diaper and I could suck on he boobs. I would pay anything under the sun to go back to that moment and agree to do so. I was way too nervous to accept this invitation, and I wasn't sure it was genuine so I declined. I asked her if it was ok for me to buy some to show her and maybe wear around her and she agreed. I bought some very crappy depends diapers. I left them out in the corner of our bedroom. I wore one under clothes so she could be around them without having to be overwhelmed. She decided it was ok for me to wear them but she didn't want to participate. This was good enough for me because it meant that I could both have the woman of my dreams and I could still wear diapers. Over the years together, diapers came and went as part of my life. There were moments in my life where the guilt and shame were so great that I would rid myself of all things diapers and not touch them for months. We eventually got married and had kids. Having a baby is a real buzzkill when you want to wear diapers yourself as you have to deal with someone else's diapers and your wife certainly doesn't like that you are doing this while the baby is as well. For the first time I actually started to think about the baby side of what I did, and not just the diapers. I started to think about what it would be like to be treated like a baby. There were things about it that appealed - I liked the idea of being nursed, changed, and kept in diapers. I liked the idea that if I were a baby then everyone would just accept that I needed diapers and I could just freely wear and use them. These fantasies never amounted to much, because I knew that my wife would not want to participate in that at that time as we were already dealing with an actual baby. I needed to be an adult and support her. Once our kid was a little bit older, I started to revisit this idea. I have always been a boob guy and the idea of nursing on breasts appealed to me in a way that is almost overwhelming at times. We were on holiday in Hawaii once and I woke in the middle of the night to find that my wife's breast had fallen out of her tank top. Since she had stopped breastfeeding our kid, all of her tank tops were a little big so this sometimes happened. In that moment I could not resist the urge to wrap my lips around her nipple and give it some tentative sucks.  My wife is a very deep sleeper, especially after years of nighttime breastfeeding, but she woke enough to realize what I was doing. To my surprise, she allowed me to keep going with a sly sleepy smile, and hugging me a little closer. I awkwardly sucked on her nipple until she pulled away and we both went back to sleep. Unfortunately for her, this awoke something in me that was only barely sleeping.  From that point on, I needed to suck on her nipples. I asked almost nightly if I could. Initially she was into it as it was exciting and sexual and sweet. But after a while, when she realized that I was trying to nurse like a baby, she started to rethink it a bit. Things came to a head when I asked her if I could try doing that while wearing a diaper. She let me try but was definitely not into it. This caused some friction. While this was happening, my wife's mother was in an accident on the other coast. She had to travel there to support her and stayed with her for a month and a half. I was having a hard time with this. I started sleeping in diapers every night because it was the only thing that brought me comfort. When my wife returned home, I shared this with her. After a long talk about the state of things, we figured out how we were going to proceed with all things diapers and nursing.  First, I was going to be able to continue sleeping in diapers at night as I had become somewhat dependent on it. Second, I was going to be able to nurse but only when my wife as in the mood and never in diapers. Third, my wife was not going to interact with my diapers in any meaningful way. This arrangement worked great for a long time. I was always thinking about what sort of fantasies I would like fulfilled. Every time my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I always wanted to ask to be treated like a baby for a short period of time. What exactly that meant changed from moment to moment, but there were some consistent themes. One morning, I woke to my wife staring at me. Our morning arrangement was that I would wake up and take our kid to school, then I would generally return to bed. I was almost always in my wet overnight diaper still because I hated changing out of those diapers. I loved the feeling of waking up in a wet diaper and loved to stay that way as long into my day as I could. I was not really having nighttime accidents, but I would wake with the need to pee and just let go and go back to sleep. I also worked from home the majority of time so could start my workday still wearing my wet overnight diaper. That morning, after returning home, going back to sleep in bed, waking a second time with my wife staring at me, my wife asked me what I have most always wanted. I wasn't sure what she meant and expressed as much.  "I know that you fantasize about more than sleeping in diapers at night. I would like to know what your fantasy is," she said. I hesitated a moment, unsure of just how much I should express. After thinking it over, I just launched into it, stream of consciousness-style. "First, I would like to be changed in bed out of my nighttime diaper into a dry diaper. Following that, I would like to be nursed in bed before we get up. Next, I would like to be brought downstairs wearing nothing but a diaper. I would be left to play and do whatever my mind goes to, while you prepare a bottle and breakfast for me. I would then like to be fed breakfast at the table, then bottle-fed over your lap. Once the bottle is gone, I would like to nurse again." "You have thought about this a lot," she says, interrupting my flow. "I have," I replied, "though I have never put down my thoughts before or expressed them aloud. This is a new one." "Ok, is there more?" she asked. "Yes, there is definitely more." "Ok, continue." "Next, I would like to be brought outside to play. Yes, in nothing but a diaper. While outside playing, or shortly after returning inside, I will almost certainly have my regular morning bowel movement. I do not want to tell you about it or ask you to be changed, I would like to continue playing in a poopy diaper until you realize and change me." "You want me to change your poopy diaper?" She asked, incredulous. "This is a fantasy, not a realistic expectation," I countered. "I have no expectation of any of this ever actually happening." "Ok, sorry, please continue, unless you are done."  "At some point before lunch, I would like to approach you and initiate nursing again during whatever you are doing. Ideally this would be something that you would grudgingly give into and just lift your shirt and let me nurse. If you cannot tell, my fantasy is much more focused on being a somewhat independent toddler." At this point, she is just staring at me, hardly responding. She sighs and says, "I assume there is more to this but I don't think I want to hear it." In that moment, I fear that I may have said too much, knowing that there is a lot more to this fantasy but worried I may never have a chance to share it, let alone ever experience it. I was just about to start walking it all back when she abruptly stands up, walks over to the closet, and disappears inside. I hardly have time to wonder what she is doing before she emerges from the closer with a fresh PeekABU diaper from my stash. She rips the covers away from me and exposes me lying there in nothing but my very wet overnight diaper. She sets the diaper down on the corner of the bed and goes to the bathroom to retrieve a package of wipes. "What are you doing?" I ask. "All of it, I guess. I'm going to do all of it. Even the stuff you didn't tell me that will almost certainly happen after lunch. I know you want this and I want to give it to you so just shut up and let me do it before I lose my nerve." She indicates that I should scoot down towards the end of the bed, which I do. She quickly rips all the tapes off my diaper and gets to work wiping me down. I immediately have the largest erection of my life and am red-faced and embarrassed and frozen in fear all at once. "I am not doing anything with that at the moment so don't get any ideas," she says about said erection. I can only nod my head and squeak out "That's fine." After a few moments, my erection subsides. She fluffs the new diaper and tells me to lift my butt, which I do. I am almost overwhelmed with sensation at this point and can hardly believe this is happening.  She pulls the wet diaper out from under me and balls it up as best she can, clearly not sure the best way to handle such a large diaper. She then slips the clean diaper under my butt and taps me on the leg to indicate that I should lower my butt. I do so. She pulls the front of the diaper up between my legs as my erection threatens to return. I can't tell if I am dying from sheer mortification or adrenaline. I do know in this moment that I have never appreciated this woman enough.  She tapes down the tapes as best she can, checking for fit around my waist and the leg guards. It appears she is satisfied with the job as she then tells me to scoot back up to my pillow. The diaper doesn't fit as well as when I put them on myself but I figure I'll just adjust it later when she isn't looking.  Once I am back snuggled into my pillow, she lays down next to me and pulls my head tight to her breasts. I catch a glimpse of the look on her face, half terror and half satisfaction, before I am being forcibly snuggled into her breasts. To my surprise, they are uncovered. Her breasts, always one of my favorite of her features, are the perfect size, shape, softness, and warmth to be the best snuggle you have ever had. She immediately tries to reposition my head so that my mouth is on her nipple. I feel her push her breast forward once that contact is made and I take the hint. I immediately open wide and let her insert as much of her breast as I can take.  I am no novice to nursing. We have worked over the years to get a proper latch so that I could comfortably nurse at least once a week. This time, I immediately work the latch and start suckling away. While suckling, I finally have a moment to stop and think about what his happening to me while my wife pulls out her phone to scroll while I nurse. The only thing that my addled brain can produce is "I can't believe this is actually happening." As this thought repeats in my head, we snuggle closer and wrap each others limbs around one another. I can feel my diapered crotch press into her thigh as I wrap my legs tightly around her. I can feel her nipple hardening and softening in my mouth as I work it. Since she hasn't been lactating in years, her nipples rarely stays hard but I get a good enough latch that that rarely matters. After some time, she pops her nipple from my mouth, turns her body a bit, and offers her other breast. I do not need instruction as I immediately wrap my mouth around her other nipple, find my latch, and snuggle back deeply into her body. I realize that I have to pee and throw caution to the wind and just let go as I nurse. She does not react to this at all, so I figure I made the right decision. As I nurse away, I can feel my eyelids start to droop and next thing I know I am out. Chapter 2 I awake a short while later and find myself alone. I am unsure what to do as everything that had already happened this morning was overwhelming and I do not know how my wife is feeling at the moment. I know that she said that she wanted to "do it all" but that does not mean she still wants to after this morning's start. I do not have to wonder long though as she comes back into the bedroom.  "Oh good, you're awake. Come on downstairs with me, honey." I stretch and roll to get out of bed. She's already headed out the door so I hesitantly follow. I hear her from down the hall, "Hurry up, sleepyhead. And don't you even think about putting on any clothes." I stop, smile, and head out the door wearing nothing but a slightly wet diaper. I follow her down the stairs to the living room where I can smell that she has been cooking. "I know that you wanted to be down here playing while I cooked but I figured I could do that while you were sleeping," she says, anticipating my thoughts. "I will make you a bottle once you have eaten some eggies." I sit down at the table and she brings me a small child's plate with some scrambled eggs and a couple of sausages. "Do you want me to feed you?" She asks. Feeling very shy and vulnerable I grumble, "I think I can do it..." "What was that, honey? I didn't hear you." "I said, I think I can handle feeding myself." "Nonsense," she replies, "let me handle it." She sits next to me at the table and scoops a bit of eggs onto a spoon and starts driving the spoon towards my mouth. I open up to accept and from there I am being fed for the first time that I can remember. It does not take long to get through the food and she moves to the kitchen to put together a bottle. "Go play for a bit while I get this ready," she says, pointing towards my computer along the wall. I waddle over to the computer and start looking through my emails and youtube for something to watch. It is not long before she tells me to come over to the couch and have a seat. I sit my crinkly butt down on one end of the couch, enjoying the sound and the sensation, as she sits down next to me. "Lie across my lap and put your head on this pillow," she says, positioning a bit squashy arm pillow to the other side of body. I do so and snuggle against her breast and, once situation, a bottle nipple is pressed against my lips until I open up to accept. The bottle is filled with warm milk tea, sweet and rich. I savor the taste, the sensation, this moment. I try to hold onto the moment as long as possible because it feels so unreal and unstable, like a dream that could end in an instance. I also feel the slightest amount of pressure in my bladder so release that into my diaper, happy to be able to just go as I feel. Once the bottle is empty, she sets it down on the arm of the couch, reaches under my head to the hem of shirt and yanks her shirt up, exposing her breast. I need no encouragement from there and turn my head to latch on and start nursing. As I am nursing, I realize that I have never nursed in this position before and take a moment to try to feel like a toddler and get my head into that space. I don't find myself regressing, but I do feel a sense on contentment trying to sneak its way in.  After just a few minutes of this, she pulls away from me and I release her nipple. She pushes on me back to get stand up so I do. "Ok, off you go to play," she says as she walks to the back door and opens it wide. "Outside with you." This was part of my fantasy that I shared with her, but also one that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go through with. You see, we live in a neighborhood where the houses are fairly close together and the second story of each house looks into the backyard of the adjacent houses surrounding each house. This meant that anyone on the second floor of my neighbors' houses would see me running around outside in just a wet diaper.  My wife sensed my hesitance. "If you don't go out there and play, like you told me you fantasized about, this day is over. If you go out there though, we will continue." The choice was clear. I stepped outside into the backyard. Chapter 3 I immediately felt the warm sun on most of my body, a sensation I wasn't really used to or prepared for. I also felt a very deep and alarming anxiety that I was about to show my neighbors way more about me than I ever wanted them to know. I scanned the second story windows of each house that I thought could see me, and saw no movement, no lights. It was mid-morning in the middle of the workweek, it was very unlikely that anyone was home. I figure I was in the clear and decided that now was the moment I would truly try to get to into toddler mode.  I ran/waddled across the yard to the trampoline that was at the side of the house. Underneath that trampoline was sand. I climbed under the trampoline to play in the same. I dug, I made hills, I made shapes, I threw sand, and I buried my feet, all the while conscious of the diaper between my legs. I crawled out of the sand and into the grass, my ass in the air on display if anyone happened to be watching, and when I reached the grass got to rolling and tearing.  I look up and I see my wife in the window, smiling at me with what I could only describe as a mix of wonder and love. I get up and run/waddle to the window and through it, muffled, I hear "Ok honey, why don't you come inside. It's starting to get warm and you don't have sunscreen on." She walks over to the door and opens it. I head for the door and enter the house. As she closes the door behind me, she sits down at her computer and takes a long look at me. "Now, what was next?" she wondered aloud. I gave her a big cheeky grin, crouched down next to her, leaned over legs, and put my mouth directly onto her clothed breast.  She reacts with surprise, but only for a moment. She pulls her shirt up and allows me to latch on, from a position that only a toddler would nurse. Being as that position is a crouch, I feel my morning bowel movement decide that this is the right moment to finally make itself known. I panic, tense up, let go of her nipple with a sudden pop, and I start to try to stand so as not to poop myself in front of my wife. I think of her reaction earlier at the idea of changing a poopy diaper. Now I am becoming very self-conscious, sure that this whole thing was a bad idea, certain that at any moment this fantasy would end. Instead, my wife puts her hands on my shoulders and gently presses down, easing me back into a crouch. She guides my mouth back to her nipple, making reassuring shushing sounds. "Whatever happens happens, honey. Just exist in this moment." I latch on tightly as I crouch back down. My bowels are giving me a desperate signal. I know that I can't hold out much longer but I am certain that I do not want to poop in front of my wife, especially not while nursing. Then it hits me like a bolt of lightning - this is exactly what I want. A toddler would not hesitate to let loose into his diaper while nursing like this. I should not either. Almost as if this thought were permission to let go, I feel the poop start to leave my body. I feel it bundle up in the seat of my diaper while I give a small grunt around my wife's nipple. My suckling intensifies for a moment while I consider what I just did, but only long enough for more poop to leave my body. I can feel the big mess weighing down the seat of my diaper. I let out whatever pee was in my bladder as well.  "Are you all done?" she asks. I can't tell if she's talking about the poop or the nursing and to be honest I am not sure if I am done with either. She does not give a chance to respond though and pulls her nipple away from me. Not knowing what to do, I stand up and freeze. My wife also stands, closes the gap between us, wraps me in a big hug, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and says "Go play." She urges me into the living room with a couple of pats on my poopy bottom.  This barely registers but as a distant sensation. I waddle off, dazed. Here I am, freshly pooped, freshly nursed, left to my own devices again. When I finally recover, I realize that I am just standing in the middle of our living room, staring off into space. I look all around me and notice that there are some of our kid's cars out. I start to bend over to pick up some of the cars when I realize there is still poop to come out. I push my butt out slightly into a bit of a crouch and push with a small grunt. I feel just a bit more poop exit me and enter my diaper. I suddenly become very aware of how much poop is in there and try to fight the overwhelming feeling of shame that is trying to take over. I look over at my wife once again. Her back is turned to me as she is futzing away at her computer. She doesn't seem fazed by any of this - why should I be? This is what I wanted. This is what I asked for. Is this whole scenario just a case for being careful what you wish for because you might get it? I decide to continue collecting cars from the floor to play with. As I do so, I realize that to play with these cars I am going to have to sit in my poopy diaper. Before I can let that thought sink in deep enough to create doubt, I flopped onto the floor on my stomach as quickly as I could. I find this an uncomfortable way to lounge, so I carefully turn over and slowly lower myself to the ground butt first. I am not sure why I told my wife that part of my fantasy was to poop my diaper around her. I have never been much of a fan of pooping my diaper. I dislike the clean up afterward. I do think part of it had to do with the fact that if the diaper were someone else's responsibility to clean up after, there is a chance that I would exclusively use diapers 24/7 for the rest of my life. Therefore, in this fantasy it made sense to poop since I would not be changing myself. All this to say that I had never really pooped myself like this and then sat directly into it. So, as I sat down on the hard floor and felt my poop shift all around my diaper, I realized that this was an entirely new sensation. And, to be honest, it was a new sensation that I liked a little. In fact, I spent just a few seconds just sitting there rocking back and forth a little as the mess moved all around. I was not prepared for the poop too move to the front of the diaper and started worrying about that a little, but it was also too late to do anything about it so embraced the mess. I think my wife may have heard my shifting and crinkling about as I heard her walk over, but then she turned around and went back to what she was doing. I started playing with my collected cars. I gave them names and developed personalities for them. I pretended that they went on grand adventures where each of them was the hero at some point, while each of them had a heel turn, and at least one horrible thing happened to each. What I did not realize at that the time was that at some point my wife had snuck over and filmed some of my play.  Chapter 4 Lunch time arrived and my wife announced it was time to eat. True to my word, I did not ask for a diaper change, even though I thought I could probably use one. I went along with the program though and sat down at the table as my wife indicated, feeling the mess in my diaper shift and squish. "I could really get used to that," I think. She sets a plate of chicken bites and curly fries in front of me, along with a sippy cup filled with what I would later discover was apple juice. She sat down next to me and immediately gasps, looks at me, and exclaims, "Wow you are one stinky boy!" I immediately feel like I am going to burn up from shame. "Before you eat, let's go change your diaper, "she says. I follow her back to the living room where she sets down a towel to use as an improvised changing mat. She pats it and I lie down on the towel. She pulls a diaper down from a nearby countertop, where I notice she has stacked several, along with a packet of wipes. She slowly peels all the tapes back and I am certain she is as scared of this moment as I am. Once the tapes are removed, she puts on some disposable gloves that she had stashed nearby. "That's smart," I think. The change is largely uneventful, if not long because of the mess. I see my wife make faces a few times. I see her eyes water. I see her struggle to get through this and wonder how I could possibly be worth all of this to her. Once clean, a new diaper is slid up underneath me and quickly taped up. "Ok, let's eat," she says, as we move back to the table. We eat our food in relative silence until my wife breaks it by saying "So, how are you feeling at this point?" I look her directly in the eyes and tell her that I am having just the most wonderful day. I tell her that I cannot believe that she wants to do all of this for me. I tell her that I love her and appreciate her so much for this. She nods through all of that, with a few tears starting to gather in her eyes, and tells me that I am loved, I deserve this, and she is happy that she is able to provide it at this moment. I will never share the actual words that we traded there as they are one of my most cherished memories, but suffice to say we discovered something very special between us that day. After lunch, my wife dragged me back upstairs and to our bed for a nap. I was never one to take naps but I figured it fit the scenario, even if not part of the fantasy as I explained it. When we snuggled up in bed together, her nipple was presented to me and I latched on happily. I nursed until surprisingly, sleep took me. When I woke again, maybe an hour later, the first thing that I realized was that I was still asleep on my now sleeping wife and her breast was still out, her nipple near my mouth. I was also sporting a freshly soaked diaper. I stared at her nipple a long time, deciding if I should just reattach myself or if that would be a gross violation of my wife's trust. I decided to take the risk since it was my day as a toddler. I slowly lowered my mouth back to her nipple and found my latch. My wife didn't even stir, she remained sound asleep. I wanted to crystallize this moment forever. If I could pick a single moment to live in forever, it would be that one - waking up from a nap to resume nursing with the realization that I had wet myself while I napped. This moment would stick with me forever. I would chase this moment for the rest of my life. I nursed while she slept. I wasn't sure if I should wake her but I didn't want this to end and I was not tired enough to go back to sleep myself. After some time, my wife finally woke. She seemed surprised that I was still attached to her, but shifted to present her other nipple, which I took. I nursed the other breast for a bit, but it was clear my wife was getting antsy to get up and do some stuff, so she detached me with a pop and got up to get moving again. I laid there for a short while, recounting the events of the day. 

Next month, I’m getting a dental procedure needing full general anesthesia due to past trauma. I’ll be bringing my plushie Mackenzie (from Bluey) with me along with wearing my Bluey shirt to help with anxiety followed by a week of recovery in a diaper and onesie. I’ve never worn diapers across multiple days before (especially with me being out of it the first day). Any advice on how to self change and any suggestions on things to buy to enhance my little space?    I’ll be gaming a lot while cuddling my Mackenzie plush and looking forward to being in little space for a whole week!