Latest News and Updates

Hi Just to introduce myself. I'm an English nappy lover. I wore terry nappies and plastic pants and, after 'using' them, when I was about 8 yrs old, I've loved them ever since. The pants were called 'rubbers' by most mums in England. I used to love seeing them hanging on washing lines and dreamed of being put back into them. I also like plastic-backed disposables. Nice to meet you all. I like stories involving nappies and spankings. Kintal Baby

Hi Parkin Glad you liked my little tale. I was trying to write it as though an enthusiastic but slightly juvenile kid was writing it himself and the main thing was to get to the image of him wearing his latest PJs. The image is an AI creation I did (I did several but I thought this was the cutest) but I was hoping to start a bit of a chat about favourite PJs to wear. Did anyone like the image? Would anyone be happy to wear something similar... or do they already? What was your most favourite nightwear as a kid (or now)? Thanks for your comment, as always it's lovely to hear from any and all my readers. A huge THANKS and HUGS

Happy to see a new chapter 

Hi Rambler60 Glad you're enjoying the story but the next chapter will be the last☹️ I hope it brings the story to a satisfactory conclusion. In the meantime, thanks for your comment I really appreciate it. Hugs  

102. The Real Problem “I wet myself!” Tess squeaked. She could have tried to calm down, taken a minute to build up the courage, and still been unable to say it. But letting herself blurt it out before her inhibitions could take notice seemed to have made all the difference. Now she felt like she was going to burst into tears, but she couldn’t take the words back, and that was a good thing. If she could be in control of the situation, it would all be better. “I… I told myself it was just a fluke, but… there were a couple of times, and I don’t know if it’s related. I think the first time was on the way to school. I chugged my coffee on the way out of the house but that shouldn’t make so much difference, should it? It was only like ten minutes, I didn’t think about it at all and then ten minutes later I suddenly needed to go so badly, I couldn’t believe it. And there’s other times as well, like this sudden desperation that comes out of nowhere. I don’t know what…” “Okay, calm down,” the doctor said. Her voice was soothing like a warm hug, although she was still keeping a professional distance. Moments like this, when everything broke down, Tess wondered if being a kid again would be better after all. “That’s not too unusual. But we need to be looking for a different set of possible causes. I guess you were too embarrassed to mention this to the nurse on your first visit? I can understand that, and I know it has to be hard for you. But if we’re going to help you to get over this, we need to treat it like any other medical condition. Right?” Tess nodded, and put those worries to the back of her mind. She didn’t need the emotional strain as well, making it harder for her to address the actual problem. The doctor asked a few more questions, trying to get some impression of the situations in which Tess had an accident. About the time she’d wet herself in front of the boy she liked, and been lucky it was too dark for him to see. And the time she’d run off the bus desperate to find a bathroom. One time she’d wet herself in the kitchen as well, although she wasn’t sure if that counted because she’d waited way too long before coming home. She told the doctor what had happened, and relived every moment of the shame. She didn’t mention the regression experiences, of course. She was sure that couldn’t be relevant, because her wetting on those days had a clear reason. And it turned out there were more possible causes for her problem than she could ever have imagined. One of the most obvious was that she might have damaged her bladder (or her pelvic floor muscles) somehow. Another option was some infection causing the nerves in that area to be less effective at transmitting a signal. If the urge came on really quickly, it could be a sign that messages back to her brain were being interrupted. This could explain bedwetting as well; which made it seem a lot more likely. She could guess for herself the odds against having two medical conditions that were so similar at around the same time. Or it could have been a parasite. Those things could live in our stomach, sustaining themselves from your food, and you might never know they were there. But some of them could have indirect effects; messing with your body’s chemical balance, or even twisting around so they could apply pressure directly on the bladder. Tess’s impression that her need to go had come out of nowhere could have been true; the pressure was all an illusion, caused by some tiny snake squeezing on her bladder as it tried to find a comfortable place to sit. Both ideas were weird, and Tess didn’t want to believe either of them. But then she also knew that there must be something wrong with her; a healthy girl didn’t suddenly start losing bladder control at her age. And if there was anything that the doctors here could do to help her, listening to their suggestions was a logical first step. “So what can I do about it?” It wasn’t the first question that came to mind. She wanted to know how she could have gotten a parasite like that; or where they came from. But in this moment Tess forced herself to think only about productive things. Things that might help her to get back to normal, so the only childish parts of her behaviour would be to placate Gabby’s obsession. Or – the thought still took her breath away – so Spike could be her Daddy. If he really understood the headspace thing, if he wanted to look after a little kid in the same way Gabby did, Tess knew that she would have no objections at all. Why did just putting him into the same fantasies make it so appealing? “Something funny?” the doctor asked, maybe confused by the momentary change in Tess’s expression. “No, no. Just thinking about… how somebody else would react if he knew. Some– Nothing important, anyway.” “Okay. So, the first thing we need to do is another round of blood tests. There’s a chance that you could be suffering several kinds of nerve or muscle degradation, which could be indicated by increased levels of potassium and myoglobin in your blood; not something we would have tested for before. I’ll also recommend an ultrasound to look for possible parasites; although if these tests come up with nothing, we might have to resort to other methods. Those things are much less able to hide from an MRI, which could also reveal any physical trauma to the muscles, but we couldn’t do that here and it can be difficult to organise. Tess just nodded along as she talked about less-common diagnoses that could cause the same problem. There were so many possibilities that she would never be able to remember them all. But she didn’t need to know them all; she just had to do the tests that the doctor said, and sooner or later they would arrive at an answer. They would know what had caused the sudden lapse in her continence, and they would be able to prescribe some drugs to fix it; whatever it turned out to be. She really hoped it wouldn’t be something that needed surgery, although she knew it was probably premature to be thinking about something like that before they even had a first clue what the problem was. “Of course, there’s still a chance that it could be psychological. And please don’t take this the wrong way; but it’s always an option. Your mind has a lot more influence over your body than you might think, and you would be surprised at some of the things it can do. Whether it’s due to fear, or if you’re missing the safety of childhood… I know this might seem strange. But it really can happen like that, even if you don’t realise it yourself. A lot of things can happen because somewhere deep in your subconscious mind is a fear of continuing on the path you’re on. So some part of you could try to sabotage that. Sleep problems are common, but we’ve seen people with much more complex problems that turn out to have been driven by a belief that there should be some kind of problem rather than an injury. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” “I know,” Tess nodded. She was thinking of how easily she’d lost control when she accidentally said she was that young. Her body hadn’t obeyed her at all; it really was like some kind of mind-over-matter trick. If a poor choice of words could make that happen, it was entirely believable that some nascent neurosis could have the same effect; something that she was worrying out without even realising it. It could be affecting her judgement in ways she couldn’t even see. And she knew that if that was the case, it would need help just as much as a physical problem did. But in that case, she thought, it would be better to seek help from Ffrances directly rather than having to confide all her secrets and worries to another doctor. “If you think it’s a mental thing, I’ll ask Dr Jones for help. She knows a lot of my worries already. But I’d rather rule out the physical things before I spill the beans. If that’s okay?” It was fine. Tess had some more blood tests, and cheek swabs. She was given a small handful of specimen containers as well. If there was something in her environment was poisoning her and causing this, a chemical analysis comparing her pee at normal times would be helpful; so she would need to try collecting a little sample any time she had an accident in the future. If there was something chemically different, that would make it a lot easier to work out where and when she was being exposed to some toxin. There were so many things to remember, so many checks and tests, that Tess was starting to feel overwhelmed. “Do you want us to take it slowly?” Doctor Lutwa asked. “We could check the possibilities one by one if this is too much for you.” “No. I just need to calm down.” Tess forced herself to take a deep breath, and reminded herself that she was mature for her age. She was the responsible one. It was the first time she’d dealt with something that had quite so much potential to ruin her life, but she was used to dealing with everything herself. And she knew that as soon as she was in control of the situation, she would feel so good. That was the point; it wasn’t about what she needed to do, but how it felt when she did. Tess had never gone out of her way just to show that she could take the world on her shoulders. She did the things that felt good to her, and that nearly always meant she was fixing things for everyone else. Because she could. And because she wanted to. She could just find that same mindset now, and she would be satisfied as she knew that she’d done everything that reasonably could be done. What was stopping her from getting there now? Was it fear over what would happen to her if she couldn’t solve this? Or had the times she’d regressed to a little girl over Christmas not completely worn off yet? She didn’t know, but she was sure of her ability to work it out. There had to be a key here somewhere, a clue that would make all the pieces fit together again. “Okay,” she said, a few deep breaths later. “Sorry, I wasn’t focusing properly. I can do this.” So they went over the synopsis again; but just the conditions that they were actually in a position to check for. A diary to track her mood, how much she drank, and how often she used the bathroom. Sample containers, in case a chemical analysis of her pee turned out helpful. An ultrasound, which turned out not to even need her to leave the office; Dr Lutwa could just call for a nurse to bring her the machine. It didn’t find any parasites. There were more blood tests as well, and a promise that they would get in touch when the results were in. For the first time since she had moved in with her cousin, Tess felt like she was in control of her life. In the next six weeks, she would either know what had caused her bedwetting, or she would be sure that only mental and emotional explanations remained. In that case, she told herself, she would have a perfectly valid reason for asking Ffrances to increase the power of the hypnosis; so it could be something that worked all the time. It could cure her problem instead of masking it, and let her have a normal life again. Tess pulled out her phone on the way home, and took a great deal of pleasure in putting a tick next to that appointment. She had done what she needed, and it felt as good as it ever did. No matter what anyone else said, she wasn’t sliding back to being a baby. And that would be good when it came to a week on Tuesday, because that was the next appointment in her calendar. The date she would be helping Spike to change his name. The most nerve-wracking encounter with bureaucracy she’d ever faced, and not just because it was somebody else’s head on the block if the argument went badly. Because she was doing something for somebody she really liked. Her Spike; the most important single point in her life. For him, she was sure she would be able to overcome his hurdles; and thwart her own problem as well. Even if she couldn’t do it for herself, she would do it for him. That thought made her feel good as well. She didn’t know where he was right now, but she could imagine he was happy. And that was all she needed.