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13. Changing Scenery Gabby was talking on the phone when Tess opened the door, but put it down immediately to be ready with her usual enthusiastic greeting. Tess would never understand how someone could be so consistently happy, but she didn’t want to say anything. She answered her cousin’s questions as best she could, and headed up to her room to finish her homework. Gabby could tell she was down. Maybe she was psychic, or maybe Tess wasn’t doing such a good job of hiding her feelings. But she didn’t want to talk about it now, and Gabby didn’t press the issue. She did have other things to say, though, either one of which would have brightened Tess’s day. If it hadn’t been right now, she would have been delighted at the prospect of redecorating the humiliating former nursery where she was staying. Gabby gave her a bag of gifts, and Tess pulled them out one by one, imagining how much difference they would make to the atmosphere in her room. Three movie posters; all for classic movies that she’d never got around to seeing but practically knew the plot of from the memes. A new shade for the light, if she could work out how to fit it. And new blinds to replace the hideous pink ones. She had a choice of a pastel rainbow, aqua, or pale yellow. She picked the yellow one, and didn’t realise until they were half way through installing it that there were cartoon designs engraved on some of the slats, where they would be really obvious when the sun was coming up outside. It was kind of a childish design, but Tess hadn’t even realised until after the package was opened, which could have meant that Gabby didn’t know they were there. It was still a thoughtful gesture. Even more considerate was the fact that her cousin was happy to help her get everything set up. At first Tess had wanted to point out that she didn’t need anyone’s help. But while Gabby was downstairs digging a stepladder out of wherever it was stored, she tried to unfold the blinds ready for installation. And that was when she realised that there was no way anyone could do this on her own. She simply didn’t have enough hands to hold all the things that needed holding and to pull out a length of cord, measure it, and cut it to the right length all at the same time. This time, she would need to accept a little support, and then she would be able to have a room that looked a little better. At least until Malcolm could come round and paint the walls some colour that wasn’t baby girl pink; that was the big goal for Tess. But she could only wait until he had time, and in the mean time she was happy to reduce the amount of pink in the room even by one percent. Redecorating her room was a lot of work, even if it didn’t  make a huge difference. But she found that after all the work, the most important thing on her mind was getting dinner. Her earlier worries had almost disintegrated. She still needed to work out how to study alone, and to make some kind of master plan to beat Ashli in the coming test, but those things were no longer all she could think about. While Gabby went to prepare dinner, Tess dealt with the other call she had mentioned earlier. Tess’s parents had apparently got settled into their new home, and wanted her to call when she got a chance. After a little thought, she decided that it would be better to do it now, so that she didn’t get carried away talking to them later. She went up to her room, pushed the door almost closed, and copied a number from a little piece of notepaper onto her phone. There were more digits than she was used to, and for a moment she wondered how much this was going to cost. But of course, her parents wouldn’t complain about her wasting money when they’d said they wanted her to call. “Hello?” “Dad!” “Is that you, Tess? How’s it going?” “Pretty good thanks,” she mumbled, and then she couldn’t bring herself to speak any more as a sudden fear gripped her. Would Gabby have told them anything about the last few days? Did she need to tell them about the problems she’d faced, in case they already knew? Or could she keep it all to herself? “Some teething troubles at the new place?” “Yeah, I… it’s like, too far away for my friends to visit, and even if they had time this room is just…” “Yeah. I was thinking you might have some problems. But there must be someone from your class on the same bus, maybe you’ll be able to make new friends. Nobody’s  picking on you, I hope?” Then she could smile a little more. Dad was always protective, and she knew that if there was anything at all he could do to help her from a thousand miles away, he would. “No. I got one new friend. It’s just… I’m still struggling in history, you know? Dropping down to last place on the league tables. And there’s another girl who said she sucks, she just started trying really hard and now she’s doing so much better than me. Like I know they want to encourage me like anybody can do it but the stuff that worked for them isn’t helping me. It feels like nothing makes any difference.” “I’m sure you’ll do well enough. And you’re not going for a career with history, are you?” “Guess not. I… I don’t know why it matters. Just feels like everybody thinks less of me because I’m failing. But, well… Gabby had some ideas, so maybe that will help. And she cheered me up too, we started redecorating my room. Just little things so far, but it’s better. I’m glad she’s here. I wish I could show you. Some of it’s still a bit childish, but it’s kind of cool too, so I think that’s okay.” “I’d like to show you our place as well. We can see the beach from our window, you know? If I don’t close the blinds we get woken up by a whole sunrise reflecting off the ocean, like rainbows on the ceiling. Oh… when I got my mobile contract set up, we can do a video call, show you what the place is like. That would be good, right?” “Yeah, and I–” “Tess? Dinner!” a shout came up the stairs. “Yeah, that would be great. But I–” “I heard. Enjoy your lunch, and call back whenever you want to talk. We still care about you, you know? And we’ll do whatever we can to make this easier for you.” “Love you, Dad,” she answered, and then hung up before she could distract herself any more. She could smell a bouquet of spices rising from the kitchen, and she was impatient to find out what Gabby had to offer. That day, she practically sprinted down the stairs. “Thank you,” she mumbled as Gabby put a couple of plates onto the table. It was some weird thing that seemed to excel in three of the main food groups: cheese, meat, and spiciness. Whatever it was called, Tess knew that she wanted to ask for this again the next time she was feeling under the weather. It was delicious, and she wondered if there were more reasons than she had thought to keep living with family. She could have coped on her own, she was sure, but she wouldn’t have had this kind of unexpected delight when a day didn’t go so well. “You don’t need to thank me,” Gabby answered with a small giggle. “Your dad’s paying for your food, after all. I just work here. And you give me an excuse to cook things I really love.” “No, thank you. Not for the food. Well, the food too. This is incredible. But for being there to listen, and helping me find solutions when the problems look impossible. You’ve really been helping me, and I appreciate that. I want to be self-sufficient, I have to prove that I can. But sometimes it’s good that I don’t have to.”

8. My Flexibility “Hey!” Tess waved half-heartedly as she came through the door. “Good day at work?” “So-so. Good day at school?” She didn’t need to say a word. After a few days, I’d come to expect a cheerful rundown of dumb things that her friends, enemies, and teachers had said during the day. That was one of the things we had in common: a willingness to laugh at any and all dumb mistakes, even our own. Today she mumbled a little, and I guessed that there must have been something wrong. I didn’t want to put her on the spot, so I decided to try taking her mind off whatever was wrong for now. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. But for now, I’ve had a couple of calls since I got home, so maybe some news will cheer you up.” She seemed almost angry at the thought that I could help with her problems; maybe her irrational goal of being an adult included dealing with everything alone. But she didn’t push it after I changed the subject, and looked up waiting to hear who had called. “First off, I spoke to Malcolm, you know my decorator friend? He’s pretty busy for the next couple of months, so it might be a while before he can give your room a complete makeover. But he had a few ideas that might help to make it feel a little more like home. And your parents called, they said they’ve got their home phone connected now, but are still having some problems with mobiles. Sounds like there’s more legislation over there. And they’d like you to call them back when it’s convenient, so they can know I’m doing enough to look after you. But if I know you, you’ll want to start by taking a look at some of the things I got for you.” She nodded, almost eager now, and I went upstairs ahead of her, pulling a shopping bag out of the spare room. It had actually been in the cupboard there for a couple of weeks, but it would probably seem more thoughtful if she thought I’d given it to her the same day I bought it. It wasn’t anything particularly useful, but I hoped it would help her to feel a little more comfortable. In the bag were a bunch of cheap movie posters that might help to make her room feel less like a little kid’s space, bundled together with a label that declared them to be “Assorted retro, 3 for 1.89”. They were all for movies that would have been popular when I was her age, and I wondered if she would remember them well enough that even age-appropriate things might subconsciously remind her of the days when she was just a  baby. There were two lamp shades to choose from as well; a new one, and the one that I’d removed when I gave her room the nursery treatment; as well as two different sets of blinds in pastel colours other than pink. “I know they’re only little things, but maybe choosing some of the decor yourself can make this place feel a little more like home. Until we can get it done properly, I mean. Just let me know if you need any help putting it up. Those things aren’t the easiest to fit, but once you choose which you like–” “Thank you!” she beamed. “You thought of everything. Now I can…” “Hmm?” I asked, as her voice trailed off. “Well, I can’t really invite my friends round when my room looks like that. But it’s a big help. Thank you.” As predicted, she did need some help to change the blinds and the light shade. Both required a set of ladders to fit, which I had to go down to the garage and dig out. And she couldn’t argue with needing help when it quickly became clear that even changing the shade on the light would need someone on the ladder and someone else to pass things up. I was probably just about tall enough that I could have reached up to change it myself, but that would only have been rubbing in how much height difference there was between us, so I opted to use the ladder. A little more reassurance for a little girl, who might be offended by the assertion that any job needed someone taller, but would be happy to accept that you needed multiple pairs of hands to make this particular light work. We talked a little while we worked, about how our days had gone, and our plans for the future. I’d been meaning to mention that my girlfriend would come over at the weekend, but today it seemed that Tess had her own issues causing her stress. Problems with one of her friends, or someone a little less friendly, it was hard to tell. The situation she could have described could questionably have been mild bullying, or could have been a healthy rivalry between friends. It was so hard to understand the emotions of a little kid; they would make everything seem so much more intense. But apparently this rivalry was being brought to a head by an upcoming test, which covered the last few weeks of their history studies. And this was a problem for Tess because she was now far away from her best friends, and couldn’t meet up to study over the weekend. Even at the same school, it seemed, she would have some problems after a house move. For a moment I felt bad about decorating the nursery so well that she was embarrassed to let teen friends stay over. But then I realised that there was another solution that could help her for a while. “You know why studying with a friend improves your performance?” I asked, and then explained one of the smaller realisations I’d picked up in a long-ago psych class. I told her that you can learn something a dozen times and still not have the memory stick, but that teaching someone else the same material would make it a lot easier to recall in future. I suggested that she could try to teach me and Ffrances what she’d been learning at school, and perhaps that would help her to do better on her test. Well enough to beat Ashli’s grade, in any case. By the time we were done, I realised that I really needed to be working on dinner if we wanted to eat before the little one started getting cranky with hunger. So I apologised and went to cook, giving her a few minutes to get changed to more comfortable clothes, and to call her parents if she wanted to. I prepared a couple of my infamous six-pepper quesadillas, and queued up a few episodes of a comedy show in case she was in the mood for a little more passive entertainment this evening. All in all, I thought that the day had gone pretty well.

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I wore a Seni Quatro diaper and Aqua color with little bears PUL pants from Depend Eco to bed last night and now up this morning quite wet and I just messed my diaper. I'm sipping hot coffee, lifted a little from the chair to go poopie in my diapie, and now sitting back down with a firm lumpy potty in my diaper becoming "pancaked" against my perineum...and I am wetting a little more right now. Soooo warm and pleasurable with a brief pee pee shiver. 🫠🤗😌

I used to use "its going to be a rainy day" when getting up with my wife, as a way to tell her might wet myself that day and nappies would be a good idea. This gave her a chance to tell me if she wasn't in the mood, or to suggset a rough time for it to be more convenient. If she hadn't nappied me by then, she would be ready to take care and do it after I wet my jeans.