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127. My Restrictions “A lot of people care about Tess and Spike,” Ffrances said firmly, once we were sitting at the kitchen table and she had properly bandaged my arm. “But from my perspective, it looks like their legal guardians shouldn’t be allowed near the kids.” I opened my mouth to respond in righteous outrage, anger at the pain and at the veiled accusation. Was she really comparing me to that thug? But this was Ffrances, the woman I loved, and in all the time I’d known her she had never shown anything but profound insight. Was she pointing out something that I was too close to see, something that I needed to know? “I would never hurt Tess!” I protested, but her eyes were still on my shoulder. Tess was in the hospital now. I didn’t know exactly what happened, but I knew that Duke Torrance was responsible. I had painted the target for him, putting her in danger. I told myself that I hadn’t meant to; that I’d thought he would only hurt the boy. But that wasn’t what had happened, and I had to accept responsibility for the consequences of my actions. “How could I have known that guy would…” “You could have listened, instead of trying to fit people into the story you see in your head. You could have wondered why Spike is so scared of his stepfather. Spike already told you enough to know that you were causing a big problem. Or if you don’t trust his words, you could have listened when other people told you the same. Tess has said it before. I’ve mentioned it. I’ve heard John Naylor tell you on the phone as well. That’s why they invited Spike to stay with them several times last year: because they knew that it wasn’t safe for him to be around Duke and Walt. You’ve been told so many times, but you just don’t listen because you want a reason to see Spike as the bad guy. You didn’t even listen when I repeated it to you.” And I should have drawn different inferences from the way the guy treated his own wife. I knew that now, and I couldn’t believe that I’d been so blind. “I just… Tess was getting upset. That boy did something to hurt her, and then he wouldn’t take a hint when she wasn’t returning his messages. He kept on bothering her, I thought that his father… Okay, I screwed up. I know that. I’m just used to good families, where the parents are there to keep their kids on the right path. I just… my mental image of criminals like that, they’re the ones who disappoint their fathers, or they’re a whole clan you’d do better to avoid. I don’t like to think of Tess ending up with someone who’s come from that kind of background. You never know what they’re going to do. And it just never occurred to me that there might be a risk to her. I just… I’m telling myself stories. That’s what you said, right? And I was so worried about her, I thought maybe the guy could get him to leave her alone. She’s so vulnerable, so young, and I don’t want to see that innocence shattered. I never thought he would… How could anyone…” “Listen,” Ffrances said. “You want Tess to be sweet and innocent, like you remember when you used to be her babysitter. But she isn’t that person anymore. She’s a strong young woman now. She understands the dynamics of that kind of broken family. She worked out exactly what she needs to do to get Spike away from that situation, so he can grow up in a supportive environment, and so that she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Where you saw a stereotype of a criminal based on your complete lack of experience, Tess talked to Spike until she understood the situation. She listened to all the other kids at school. She knows the word on the street, knows how dangerous the Torrance family is. And she’s decided to fix it.” “But she–” “She is not your precious little doll. Understand? I’ve talked to her about this, and I’ve talked to the police. And Tess knows exactly what she is doing. When it comes to dealing with Duke and his ilk, she knows a good deal more than you. All she doesn’t know, right now, is that you are responsible for this latest escalation. Can you give me a good reason why I shouldn’t fill in the blanks for her?” “I never meant for her to get hurt. Please, I’ll listen now. I won’t go near that guy again. If Tess is upset, I’ll ask you what I should do. I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right. Maybe I can never make it up to her… but please don’t tell her?” I didn’t know what I was more scared of. Even if Ffrances said Tess was okay, I was scared of losing my little girl. But just as much, I hated the thought of losing Tess’s trust. If she knew that this was my fault, she might never be my baby again. Maybe I didn’t deserve to look after a child, if I could put her in danger without thinking. There was nothing I could really do to make amends now, but I wanted her to at least let me try. “Hmm…” Ffrances said slowly. “I think you really just haven’t been thinking things through enough. You didn’t get what you wanted, so you set out to hurt someone without considering the consequences. That’s an extremely childish attitude, you know? While Tess has been acting like an adult the whole time. Maybe you’d do better if you reverse your roles for a while.” “What?” I gasped; I couldn’t even understand why she would say that. But there was no detail that I could put my finger on and say that it was wrong. “I can’t…” “It’s okay, you don’t have to. But if I find out you’ve done something like this again, then you’re the baby of the house until I think you understand what you’ve done. Okay? A punishment that you might not enjoy so much. Or perhaps it would be more appropriate if I had Tess move in with me, where I can guarantee she will be safe. I know we’d have her parents’ support if they heard what you did. But for now… You don’t want her to know that this was your fault. You care about what she thinks of you, and I think that must mean that you care for her in some way. So okay. If you can follow a few extra rules, you can have one last chance.” “Thank you!” I gasped, “I promise I’ll do whatever you say. I can–” But Ffrances wasn’t finished yet, and shut me up with another firm jab in the shoulder. “But!” she said. “You need to show me that you recognise Tess’s independence, and respect her judgement. She is very mature for her age, and she needs the freedom to prove herself. And she’s already shown that her decision-making is better than yours. So from now on, you don’t say ‘no’ to her. Understand? She makes the choices about her own life, and her own future. If she wants to do something, you say it’s fine. If she asks you to do something, you do your best to help her. You can ask for something in exchange if it’s reasonable, but you don’t refuse. If you really think she’s making a bad choice then you can insist she asks me. But you are no longer allowed to tell her what she can and can’t do. She has already shown much better judgement than you. Do you get that?” I agreed, as much as I was worried about putting even more responsibility on the little girl’s shoulders. She was in a tough situation, and when she came home she would need that precious littlespace more than ever to help her recover; but I knew she would resist, and Ffrances was saying that I had less power to make decisions for my little. That sounded like it wouldn’t be such a good idea; but I had to accept that I had done a stupid thing, and now I was ready to take the consequences. As far as Tess was concerned, I would have to let her make her own decisions, and accept that I had no authority to overrule her.  The hardest part was that Ffrances insisted it wasn’t my responsibility to take Tess clothes, toiletries, or whatever while she was in the hospital. Tess wanted to be a big girl, and in the circumstances nobody was allowed in to see her unless she said so. And, Ffrances said, she had decided that she didn’t want visitors. I wasn’t happy about that, but I accepted that it was Tess’s choice. I sent her a few messages on XV, asking if she wanted anything, or offering cupcakes, but I got no response. Maybe that would be a good thing, in a way. I was sure that she would get bored if she was stuck in there on her own for a long time. She didn’t even want to tell me what had happened, which made sense if she didn’t know about my interaction with the terrible Mr Torrance. I would stay away from her, and she would get lonely. And she would be wetting the bed every night; I made sure to remind her to surprise herself every day. If she didn’t realise the connection between that and her attempts to be an adult, I was sure I would work out some way to remind her. But I wouldn’t mention it; the more she tried to deal with it herself, the worse it would get. She could spot the pattern herself, and she would trust the conclusion more if I wasn’t treating her like a child at the time. When she came back, I was sure, she would really be missing her evenings in littlespace. I would have my baby back, she would be less stressed, and she would be dry for the first night all week. I was sure that would be enough to show her that she needed to be my baby sometimes. * * * The following Monday, I noticed that Tess still wasn’t replying to all my offers of help. I had missed her, and I knew that she needed my support. It might take a little more persuasion to make her realise just how much she was missing me. I hoped that she would be home soon, but until that happened I wanted to make certain that she learned the downsides of pretending that she was an adult. “Are you doing okay?” I typed into XV. “Do you need me to speak to your teachers so you can find out what you are missing? I’m sure you’re doing great there, but remember that you don’t have to keep being a grown-up. You can call me any time. And you’ll surprise yourself by having an accident like a baby the next time someone asks how you are.” I didn’t want to push it too much, but I resolved that my little baby had been on her own for too long, and the stress of being an adult must really be getting her. Now, she would be having an accident once or twice each day, as well as in the night, until she came home and took the time to relax as a child again. I sent another message on Thursday, similar to the last. Two little accidents this time, just to remind her of how much pressure she was putting herself under without me there to support her. And then I had to force myself to put Tess and her problems out of my mind for a while, because I was making sure that all my preparations for the next day were going to go perfectly. Isaac reassured me that the comics would be arriving first thing in the morning, so I could go out to pick them up and then collect Ffrances from her house. Maybe, if I was lucky, I could stop in at PRMCT and visit Tess as well; but I didn’t want to be pushy. The restaurant was booked for lunch, and I was sure that everything was going to go perfectly. After double-checking with the restaurant that I had the right time for our reservation, I felt like I could finally start to relax. Everything was in place for the most romantic proposal. It was a shame to do something so important while Tess couldn’t be at home to congratulate us when we returned; but it was too late to change now after all my plans. I put the phone down, and saw that I had an email from Maurice Kernigan; a preview of the page he had modified for me. There was a silhouette in the centre, surrounded by swirling paper notes with other people’s emails on. It was a symbolic representation of a physical entry into the data world, and fit in perfectly with the way that Kernigan liked to represent magic. There were no flashy lightning bolts here, but physical objects that were little more than a metaphor. It took me about a minute to find the note with Ffrances’s screen name on, and the simple message below it. He only included half the page, which made me wonder if there was something in the top half that he would consider a spoiler, but it was more than enough to make me feel that tomorrow was going to go perfectly. The one thing I wasn’t expecting was a ping from the office computer, telling me that I had a meeting to attend. I wondered what had happened; had somebody in the office added me to a conference I didn’t know about? Was I getting summoned to a superior’s office for some kind of reward or reprimand? But I was surprised to see on the calendar that it had been created by the temp, Carter. And it was coloured gold, to indicate personal business. That puzzled me even more, until I clicked on the meeting and saw what had been entered in the comments field: “Your cousin Tess is at the front desk. Wants to see you ASAP.” I couldn’t guess why she had come here rather than home, but if she was out of the hospital then I knew I had to see her right away. She would be so happy to see me again, and maybe she just couldn’t wait to drop all the adult roles that had been oppressing her for the week so far. I cleared the rest of my appointments for the day, took note of the room number where she was apparently waiting for me, and jogged off down the corridor.     I wonder how long it'll be before Tess wants something that Gabby really wants to say 'no' to… What do you think it will be? Will it be soon? And how do you think Gabby will react?

I REALLY appreciate an honest outside opinion like this! for that, I thank you! The thing with moderation? Will be a vote amongst a majority of leaders, and we're going to TRY to not ban people for a 1st or even a 2nd offense....IF THEY CAN LEARN what we're aiming for? Maybe they become a GREAT member. You never know. OF COURSE, Mommy scammers, guys harassing women? They will likely NOT get more than 1 chance......1 flagged issue, a repeat of the worst is BYE! I actually have a test bed on Facebook for over a year now, and we have it so women are SAFE, and they openly admit it as we WON'T tolerate guys sending them unsolicited DMs asking them to be their Mommy anymore than we will a Mommy scammer...actually, the mommy types don't get a 2nd chance. AGAIN, these are baseline rules....nothing will be "chiseled in stone" UNTIL we have a large enough leadership team for there to be enough diversity to make the rules that will be rules and the ones that won't get the votes. I am dead serious when i say "community driven"...but until there is a community...2, 3 dozen "leaders" will have to do. Look at @Slomo...we know each other well enough, even fought once (not physically, argued) but he is interested and diversity matters here as again, will NEVER be MY group, @Slomo's group....we will be individual parts of a larger mechanism.  I definitely did not phrase "FAP SITE" correctly....I should have been more specific. To me, thinking WAY BACK, I know what got my rocks off (watching a picture slowly open up 1/4" at a time over minutes LOL, dating myself) and it was exactly that, pics of good looking women! I know some people may be aroused by a story and whatnot, and we're NOT looking to stop that at all. This is why we need a LARGE, DIVERSE leadership group as I am one guy, and maybe I don't always think everything through fully before stating it. Honestly, even the rules have to be voted upon. I am very happy you posted this.......we're NOT going to go after exact birthdates, addresses although in countries that require age verification???? I don't have that answer right now. I use age verification (HAVE TO) in order to log onto my VA account, send my Dr's messages, see my appointments, any labs I have to get done, refill prescriptions and was I THRILLED ABOUT IT? No, honestly BUT, I had NO OTHER CHOICE. HOW SPANDI gets around age verification (My guess is they ignore it and HOPE they never are discovered) but HONESTLY? I have no idea. I spoke with Mikey here about it and was told this doesn't really meet the letter of the law either, although sadly, I do see age verification spreading, inevitably. While I am one of what hopefully will be many (just spent 4 hours with a friend who has the PC skills and a bunch of friends who will join him, so there may be a large amount of newcomers, hopefully. That is why I am in no race to set this sailing, i want to do it as "right" as possible and again, this will NEVER be "MY" site.....my idea? yes....my leg work? yes but once the sight is launched, if i am voted out as an admin? If that is the will of the community?? Who am I to argue.     I also want to state that while I am VERY UPSET with 1 person on SPANDI (only 1 person showed made up bullshit to other members they KNOW I am friends with), and sadly, at least for now, I no longer have that friend....I LOVE THE PEOPLE, I LOVED the site, I simply wish it wasn't able to be manipulated by ONE MEMBER (admin) who IS a computer programmer and knows HOW to do all of this stuff. I do have hundreds of friends, some for almost over 20 years on that site including one guy i respect perhaps more than ALMOST anyone else.  I also must add, Mikey helped me learn this site, so i am not going anywhere here....I have met some damn fine people here, even though i am just beginning to get to know some of them. Sure there are aspects of this site that would had sent me running for the hills when IC 1st became a part of y life, but NOW? I see the ABDL/IC folks as interrelated. I TRIED the IC only support sites, and left SHOCKED...no one wanted to discuss non IC topics, get to know each other, maybe make friends. I'll continue to support this site as well, as face it, diversity is not a bad thing! I CRINGE when I read about people INTENTIONALLY making themselves IC....I would trade places with them in a heartbeat IF I could. They REALLY have NO IDEA of the Pandora's box they are opening. (I am uncertain I used that sentence structure very well, but I am in AGONY right now, but felt I HAD TO respond to your post as you helped me out in a BIG way just by you stating why you won't go elsewhere. Thank you again! My aim is to get back in touch with the hundreds of friends I've made (of course some are occasional, others are CLOSE and we're in touch by having each other's names, phone numbers, addresses etc. I have over a dozen, maybe 2 I REALLY AND TRULY hope to meet one day! THAT well we know each other and in many cases this go back to before ADISC was ADISC and in others, more recent that that but superior people regardless. I see there are many here too, which is why, even if I get this LEAD ZEPPELIN (PUN I *LOVE* using!) in the air, I am NOT abandoning this place. Honestly, you're one guy i wouldn't mind getting to know as well as you're willing and no, I don't need your name/address/phone number....Mikey is another, rusty Pins cracks me up to no end and I swear i apologize to the dozen others i am leaving out....HARD TO THINK when your headache is hovering between an 8/9 and you CAN'T see straight to think straight. I just finished having my friend type my letter to my Senator who went after the HEAD ER DR at my VA who OUTRIGHT REFUSES to "treat headaches" and the last time this Senator acted, I received a dozen NASTY phone calls and I reported every single one of those to him as I am SICK OF BEING TREATED WORSE THAN DOG SHIT SOMEONE STEPED IN, WEARING BRAND NEW SHOES! I have a chronic headache (weather RADICALLY affects this) that NO ONE (I have seen every "headache expert" within 125-175 miles of me, spent 44 days hospitalized in the Jefferson headache Ctr and NOPE! NO CLUE, only solution is IV Dilaudid.....FUCK ME! Still, as a 100% full & permanent DV? I deserve better than I am getting and when the HEAD Pain Mgmt dr sends you to the ER (my face swells up like I gained 100lbs instantly, my eyes look like a boxer beat on me for a week) and my eyes go from mildly to WILDLY out of alignment (Diplopia) and I NEVER ASKED THE ARY to inject whatever the fuck they injected into me to be "deployment ready" for the 1st gulf War...I collapsed less than 24 hours later with a 105.8 headache.  Anyway...I actually WISH I could think more clearly right now...but again. THANK YOU! This is EXACTLY the kind of input we need! No site will EVER be everything for everyone, I am not aiming for that....I am aiming for a full blown COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUP that is 100% transparent, is community driven and self propagating.  LITERALLY would buy you a beer right now if I could!   CptKirk IF ANYONE ELSE has honest opinions, you are NOT going to offend me, you are helping me learn, and I am not alone! ANYONE else interested in helping to try to launch this? We are 100% looking for more and more members..tech admins are critical...as we want it so that NO ONE EVER has to give but a teensy portion of THEIR TIME, and I may have just scored 3-6 of those guys! I know we need at leat a dozen tech admins, maybe 6-12 on the rules side and then 4-6 dozen moderators but of course, moderators, unless someone volunteers NOW, will have to be known so we are assured we are getting HONEST people as dishonest/underhanded people will derail this entire train and quickly...that is why ANYONE can be voted out, including me. Mikey, I do thank you too....you have been integral to helping me learn and again, even though I am the one speaking to you, everything is being relayed to the rest of the group. I am one thing if anything besides honest...LOYAL, and I NEVER forget a favor, help, advice! This applies to EVERYONE who contributes, even if you have no intention of joining. If I know your thought process behind this all? I learn more and the day we stop learning, it is the long goodnight!'   THANK YOU @zzyzx! Any feedback as we advance towards a launch is TREMENDOUSLY appreciated! This is open to EVERYONE willing to take the time to offer advice, criticism, whatever! I am a big boy, ALMOST impossible to offend, with THICK skin. Life the way I've lived it kind of forces you to become this way, which is great as you have to keep an open mind. CptKirk

Where you from?

Lady boy here lmk you want to chat

Madison was starting to like Becca she was kind and gentle but she was also firm, but not to the point where she was forcible. When they got into the room Alice went to Becca and tugged on her sweater shirt and said, "Nanny Becca I made boom boom." Becca giggled as she laid Madison on the changing table, "Alright my little Goblin I'll get you changed after I change your little girlfriend."