Mixy's Accident-al Sleepytime Blog and Q+A

[Mixymagic]

Right.  So yeah like,  I just made an intro post, why not do this RIGHT NOW?! 

Jeez, me, calm down.  But like seriously, we are doing this cause I'm up and I need to vent this out.

So this is more or less my thought space.  Rambling to the void.  If anyone is here to read this stuff, hi!  Today is day one of what I'm going to call Mixy's Accidental Sleepytime Blog and Q+A.  I'm gonna update this thread with nighttime thoughts and progress towards uh....not waking up with a painfully full bladder.  

So yes, to document progress and feelings on sleepy wetting.  Bedwetting, to use the less silly term.  I know this is rather contentious, but I let me just start today by laying out my personal thoughts on the issue for me and me alone. 

So, I have trouble sleeping.  I have a tendency towards anxiety and worrying about everything, which seems to run in the family.  Thus, I have trouble sleeping.  Always have.  Once I get thinking about something, it snowballs, especially when lying down.

You know what helps though?  Being in a little headspace.  If I only have 3 year old Mixy thoughts in my head, I'm comfy and cozy and everything is roses without the thorns.  It sometimes takes work, sometimes I just start getting progressively more little the tired-er I get.  Either way, it helps.

The other thing to mention is that, usually, while I have trouble getting to sleep, once I AM asleep, my exhausted body doesn't wake up at all.  This is combined with, maybe due to how I am, maybe due to how I was raised (strictly and very fearing of shame), maybe due to genetics, like, a bladder with 20 locks on it.  Meaning it will hold onto absurd amounts of pee and not burst when I'm asleep.  I wake up with a distended below-tummy that is rock hard and VERY painful, like everything in my lower abdomen and pelvis hurts, and then hobble to the toilet, sit down, and pee for like a thousand years.  It's as ridiculous as it sounds.

My body doesn't like being hydrated I guess, so I just produce crazy amounts of pee.  If I drink normally, I'll pee way more than most people, and not small amounts like with a UTI (I freaking hate those).  My bladder is full each time.  I'm not drinking a ton when I sleep, just normally, and I wake up and pee out the Great Lakes.

I literally feel like I'm causing damage to my internal organs (at least the ones involved in the urinary system).  I mean, it's fine, I've lived like this for many years.  But, ya know, while it's "fine," it kinda also stinks and I hate it.

I've gone back and forth about this.  Like for years.  This isn't a sudden want I've had.  I know that I'd be consigning myself to a lot of other issues possibly, possible embarrassment, etc.  But like, I just kinda want to go back to wetting while sleeping.  Bedwetting.  

This solves two problems.  One, the ridiculous basketball of urine in my bladder every morning that hurts and is probably not good for my health.  Two, wearing diapers to bed every night, and especially if I know or think I will NEED them is a huge little trigger for me, which means I'll basically collapse into littlespace as soon as I'm wearing my nightnight gear (jammies and diaper and stuffed friend to hug).  Which in turn means I can just go to sleep easily and all the time.

I know some people suffer with this and wish they could have an iron bladder like me.  I don't want to lessen that struggle of theirs.  In no way do I think this is an ideal solution for everyone, or even anyone.....but I think it will work for me.  

Being honest here in this little space of mine, do I deny that a part of my brain thinks this is "cute?" Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Ok so yes....yes the thought of me wetting the bed like my little age is....cute....to me.  I WANT to be more like my little side.  I want to take on those toddler/preschooler that hasn't quite gotten the potty down yet qualities.  I know the downsides, and they aren't nothing....but honestly, I think I'd be much happier as a bedwetter.  So like....there it is.  Honesty is certainly...honest.

I'll take my bedwetter in training badge, please.

So...being the diligent little BWiT (bedwetter in training....oh goddess, please help me find a better acronym), I already found a "little" aware therapist that does hypnosis type stuff.  Yes, I know it's not magic, but it helps me get my mind in the right sort of place and actually is therapeutic in general.  Helps me shut off all the noise.  You know it's incredibly hard to find someone that is a professional and isn't just churning out someone's happy time fantasy?  It's very hard.  And even harder if you aren't a dude since the vast majority of that stuff you just find online is for dudes.

I have nothing against people that like that stuff (or are dudes), but like, it's not for me.  I either need sugary sweet treating me like a kid to insta-littlespace me and be all innocent, but ALSO effective, or just professional-type let's work on your goals.  Since the former is a pipe dream, I have the later.  

This person is a professional in every sense of the word, and is purely focused on helping people reach their goals and make them happy, not "turned-on" if you will.  Which, yeah, that kind of stuff just pulls me right out of little space and right out of any kind of relaxing trance.  Again, if you like that, no hate.  Only love   I'm a big fan of love!

And I appreciate that.  Didn't think that existed for littles.  

So first step is trying to get into the mindset that this is what I want and this is what I'm working towards.  So that's now.  Today.  What am I feeling right now?

Well, a little weird because, again, this is against everything I was taught, a little hopeful, curious if this will work.  Honestly, kinda a little excited working towards probably the "littlest" thing I have ever done.  Anything I can do safely and privately that makes me feel like a little kid/toddler just makes me happy automatically, and just thinking about needing diapers cause I can't help wetting myself just kinda gives me warm sunshiney vibes.

Soooooo...that's the story.

Thoughts, concerns, kind words, help? 

As the title says, ask me questions about this, answer my inexperience with your thoughts, just write stuff.  Any comfy sleep diaper recs that will hold back Niagra falls level flooding?  Habits?  What to look forward to as this becomes a habit?  Anything.  The floor is open.  

I hope to answer reply's and post progress and thoughts with some regularity.  Or something.

See you after Ninis.

Sleep tight,

Mix

 

[FretaBWet]

Hi Mixy, diapers to help sleeping through the night are healthier than habit forming medications. If they help you keep your bladder from filling like a hot air balloon then even healthier. If it makes you happy on top of healthier then bonus points for you. Good luck on your diapered nighttime journey!

Hugs,

Freta

[Mixymagic]

That is a good point, though.  I hate taking medicine, so I've just kinda struggled with it.  And yes, I agree that happy is a nice bonus!  I like happy too!  Thanks for the supportive words

Not much to report yet, it's only been a couple days anyway.  I'm still in the "set-up" phase kinda sorta.  Gonna see that therapy person this week and we are gonna start REALLY trying stuffs.  Little me has been out a LOT this week, so excitement.  So, like, if it goes well, I'll have something to report!