Small things a vanilla partner can do for an ABDL?

[Three Rivers]

On 8/17/2023 at 1:57 PM, Mindylou said:

I am a diaper lover with a vanilla husband. He has gotten used to it over the years and he cuddles me in bed, pats my diapered bottom, tapes up my night time diaper (I have it situated and pulled into position) and puts on my plastic pants. He has only totally changed me once (wet only, middle of the night leaky). I'm thankful for what he does and don't expect much more. Your SO will come around eventually. Just don't hide and act normal. 

Same here, wife and I have been married for 43 years. I have been wearing and using diapers for over half that time now, I do my thing and she fully accepts that. Now she has changed me several times over the years (Wet and or messy) it's not something that I expect her to do at all. She has volunteered to do all of this herself without me ever asking her. Just like others have stated, it's a two way street and you have to give her what she wants as well. She calls me squishy butt on occasion as a form of acceptance and playfulness between us. She like to sleep in on the weekends and I am an early riser, so I enjoy my diaper time for several hours before she get's up. If she wants to go somewhere or we have plans, she will say to me I need to take my shower or cleanup. Signal for change out of my wet and or messy diaper and get ready for our time.

Normally I don't have a messy diaper around her out of respect, but it's something I have done around her as well. I will say that I need to go change or use the restroom for #2, and sometimes she will say to me "well your in a diaper so just use it" only happened a few times over the years. So bottom line is you need to give her the same respect and attention to her needs as she let's you do you. Small baby steps on requests from her, as to not overwhelm her with your needs. This is your thing and she is willing to accept you for this.

Communication is the key to any good relationship, so ask her what her comfort level with you is. Diaper change? Cuddletime? Diaper Sex? Terms of endearment, Pats on the butt?

So maybe long term is she really has a very small or limited role with you as a DL, it's acceptance that as her partner in life it's something that you enjoy. Just like if your passion was to work on cars, or liked to watch football for hours. She is accepting of that, it doesn't mean that it's her thing but she is willing to give that to you. So find things that she enjoys doing or participating in so you can love and support her in those things as well. The best to you in your relationship and getting this figured out.

Three Rivers