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The Morning After the Night Before (Final part added 7/6/22)

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We're back to Jackie's perspective for this one, though we're finding her in the midst of a totally new and disorienting experience. If you're new to the Jackie Universe, you might find it helpful to read the other stories first:

Baby's Unexpected Trip

Jackie's Play Date

The Haircut

Pushing Boundaries



Jackie stirred awake from her sleep.

She took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes, taking stock of her surroundings.

There was no way to tell what time it was, but the light of the nightlight was plenty enough to remind her that she was not in her own nursery. From her crib, she could see that just a few feet away, sharing the other crib in the room, were her fellow infantilized adults and her de facto hosts, twins Lauren and Katie.

Jackie wasn’t exactly comfortable around Lauren and Katie, since she never really talked to them during their occasional play dates and the main thing that she knew about them – that they were doing this willingly – made her completely doubt their judgment. Still, recognizing where she was reminded her that she was in a place that was decidedly more relaxed than her own home. Though still contained in her crib, she wasn’t swaddled as tightly as she would be by her Mama at home, and had relative freedom of movement.

Still half-asleep, she decided to take advantage of the freedom by indulging in a big yawn and a deep stretch. Just as her back began to arch and slightly twist, a cramp hit her stomach. Desperately, she clamped down on her pacifier and clenched her butt cheeks together.

Now she was pretty sure she knew what had woken her up. She was still feeling pretty tired, and she’d gone to bed much later than normal, so she suspected that it wasn’t just a sleep cycle that had woken her up, and her cramping seemed to confirm that suspicion.

Her mind was awake now, desperately scrambling to come up with a plan. If she was right that it was still the middle of the night, she wanted to do anything she could to prevent a messy diaper, since there was no chance she’d be changed anytime soon. Though it was not a common occurrence, she’d experienced enough overnight messes over the last 8 years to know that they were particularly unpleasant.

The problem was, there were very few options available to Jackie. There was no way she could climb out of her crib, and despite the relaxed rules here at Lauren and Katie’s house, nobody would be letting her out of her crib. And simply waiting until morning didn’t seem like a likely solution. For years now, she’d had no control at all over her bladder. With her bowels, it was a little different: At least by her standard (not realizing that she was going until she already was or even already had), she’d never exactly had a messy accident. However, depositing each and every poop into the seat of her diaper for the past 8 years had not been without its consequences. Because she was going to be messing eventually, she usually just pushed things out as soon as she felt them coming on. Her diet of baby food and formula meant that she could usually have a soft mush out in just a couple of minutes, and in most circumstances just getting the humiliating task over with was the fastest route to a change. That approach meant she never really held back for very long any more. And, when the time came to do so, she found that she really had only a minimal amount of time before she had to give in to the pressure and mess anyways.

Lacking other options, Jackie knew that she needed to try to avoid the mess, and the only way to do that would be to fall back asleep. She wasn’t positive that that would work, since the need to go had already woken her up, but she had had a few times where she’d thought she’d noticed a little bit of an avalanche building in her stomach, only to manage to fall asleep and make it until morning before soiling her pants. Those might have just been a little bit of gas, but she had to pin her hopes on something. Heck, even if she could buy herself another hour or so, that might be the difference between a rash or not on the back end.

Jackie knew enough to know that just wishing herself to fall asleep probably would only make things work, so she searched her surroundings for any sort of distraction she could find. Though she’d been over the twins’ house before, it had only ever been for relatively short playdates. She’d napped in this room a few times, but never slept in it until the previous night, and had previously not dedicated a whole lot of energy to looking around.

Lit by the soft glow of a pastel pink night light on the far wall, the room seemed about what one would expect out of a nursery. Most of the features pretty closely mirrored her own, though the changing table was larger to allow both babies to be on it at the same time if necessary and practical, and there were probably even more diapers than in her room to accommodate the extra resident. The mobile over her head was predictably uninteresting, and while she’d noticed yesterday that there was a family portrait that hung on the wall over the changing table, the poor light and the angle she had from her crib meant that she couldn’t really make it out to examine that further.

Indeed, the only thing that seemed particularly interesting or dramatically out of line with her own room was the fact that there was a second crib. She looked over at the two girls who were somewhat crammed into the twin-sized crib. They were both lying on their sides, perhaps because that afforded them the most space to sleep. Jackie would have felt a little bad that they were forced to share if she’d had any say in coming here at all. Mama had had a death in the family that required her to drive out of the state for a few days, and though Jackie suspected that the decision was mostly logistical instead of merciful, she had decided that bringing her adult baby along wasn’t an option. Normally, she’d just have dropped her off at her biological parents’ house, but they were currently out of the country on vacation, and so Mama had turned to her network of friends who themselves kept infantilized adults for help. Miss Julia and Kevin, Lauren and Katie’s “mommy and daddy,” had apparently been either the first or only people who said they’d take an extra for a few days, and so Jackie had found herself hurriedly packed up and brought over for an extended Wednesday to Sunday visit.

Despite having been here a couple of days now, Jackie had only a little more understanding of the two sleeping girls that she was looking at through the bars of her crib. Here in the middle of the night, Lauren wasn’t wearing her glasses, and so Jackie had no idea which twin was which. They were so identical to the untrained eye that they even seemed to be sucking their pacifiers in perfect unison.

Jackie could really only see their faces, but they sure looked peaceful. And with their bodies obscured by the blankets, you could forget that they were way too large to be in a crib in the first place. Jackie hadn’t actually ever looked at another adult sleeping in a crib, since she was usually the one inside of one, but she had to admit that she was surprised at how natural it all seemed from the outside. She’d always assumed that this was just another way that their existence was a total farce – after all, she’d seen how universally silly she and her playmates looked while being led through the rest of their ridiculous daily rituals by their caregivers, with the clothes and sized up furniture always adding to the humiliation of their babyish activities without ever for a second making anyone forget that these were not real babies at all. She had always assumed this was part of the point. Maybe the goal wasn’t actually to twist the knife of humiliation a little bit more by reminding the girls that they could never hide the adults that they weren’t allowed to be; never pass off the humiliation as not real because they were just babies, but it certainly had that effect on Jackie.

But seeing the two sleeping girls, she actually saw babies. At least at night, there was no humiliation on their faces, only a tranquility that seemed to be very real. Was she like this when she slept? She often felt that sleep was the closest she ever got to escape. When she dreamt, it was often just an extenuation of her current life, which made sense with her second babyhood occupying all of her time and most of her mental energy. But sometimes she’d still dream of a different life – one where none of this had happened. And those dreams (especially the ones that didn’t end with her embarrassing herself by somehow revealing herself to be the big baby she was treated as when she was awake) were the best dreams, even if they could be the hardest to wake up from. But did sleep make her look like the baby that the world went to such great lengths to tell her she was? She couldn’t tell if the thought made her feel like sleep was even more of the escape that she thought of it as, or if even that escape was just another way to further her humiliation.

All of these thoughts were interesting, but another cramp emphasized how little they were doing to help Jackie achieve her goal of falling asleep. If anything, her mind seemed more awake, and her body seemed like it was about to betray her. Both cramps that she’d experienced in the last few minutes were pretty significant, and her stomach was now churning so ominously that she was struggling to comfortably lie still in the crib. Jackie sensed that the next cramp would be her last. She probably could fight on another cramp or two, but eventually she’d get tired of it, and she knew that she couldn’t make it until morning. Besides, she had a sort of pride about having never had a full-blown messy accident. Recognizing that she’d lost control over her bladder had been a source of major mental anguish, even if she knew at some level that she was hardly to blame. In moments of reflection, she might concede that she had some doubts about exactly how much control she had over her bowels, but she held tight to the defense mechanism. Not having an accident was sort of a last vestige of adulthood that she could hang her hat on. She’d rather give in and mess deliberately before she strictly had to than test her limits and risk shredding the last bit of confidence she had left.

When the next cramp came just a few moments later, Jackie gave a gentle push instead of the frantic clench she’d employed each of the last two times. Immediately, a relatively small, just-barely-cohesive log quickly breached her sphincter and pushed up against the back of her sodden diaper.

Even in moments like these where Jackie could move around relatively easily and there was nothing pushing or pulling her diaper tighter than it was naturally taped, pooping in a diaper was a pretty disgusting experience. Though this turd was soft and not very long, it seemed like it instantly met the resistance of the diaper’s back panel. That pressure caused the poop to smush into itself, quickly becoming wider. Soon, Jackie’s crack immediately around her anus was full of goo, and there was more external pressure as she finished with the initial push, which created the unpleasant sensation of not quite feeling like her sphincter was fully closed even as she finished straining. If this had been one of Jackie’s rare firmer messes, it might have reluctantly slid its way down the back in one piece, temporarily holding its form and wedging itself between Jackie’s lower butt cheeks, where it would stay until it was either pushed further down into direct contact with Jackie’s already urine-soaked vagina, front, and eventually wider diaper area by a next piece or else slowly have been jostled around by Jackie’s inevitable movements until it became more of a smeared blob that seemed to cement itself to Jackie’s crack. One wasn’t actually better than the other, as evidenced by the fact that Jackie usually wished that she had done the opposite of whatever she just had.

Though it would already be an entirely unpleasant way to spend the rest of the night, Jackie could immediately tell that she was nowhere near finished. In fact, her stomach felt literally no relief as yet. Having broken the seal and beginning her discomfort, now she was committed to silencing her stomach and seeing if she could find a way to get back to sleep. Plus, she knew her limited control and churning stomach weren’t really going to give her much of a choice anyways.

She gave a second push, this one with more deliberate effort than the first, cramp-aided thrust. There was little reward at first, although the effort did seem to slide any last remaining bit of the first poop out of her hole and allow it to feel more fully closed as she paused her efforts briefly and took a deep breath.

Just as she had prepared herself for another go, a soft but audible gurgle from her stomach let her know that it was ready for her to begin again as well. Her eyes closed as she gave her most effort yet, and this time she was rewarded with much more than she had anticipated. Accompanied by a rather loud, and clearly wet, noise that didn’t seem to have enough air to strictly be called gas, Jackie felt an absolute torrent of runny diarrhea escape into her diaper, almost immediately coating her entire crotch with a wet film and creating a steaming warm pool of waste in between her legs that gravity helped stretch almost to her left hip. As she tried to assess whether her diaper was containing everything, another almighty rumble raced through her abdomen and Jackie automatically pushed a second wave that seemed every bit as big as the first to add to the fetid horror in her underwear.

Exhausted, Jackie unconsciously rolled onto her back. She felt the warm, clumpy puddle shift down with her, pooling now in the back half of her diaper, and immediately she could tell that some amount of the liquid was rushing further up her back than her diaper could contain. There was nothing she could really do – despite being tightly diapered by Miss Julia before bed, there was an inevitable gap between the diaper’s plastic backing and the small of her back. Once she’d overwhelmed the diaper’s absorbing capacity, her only chance would have been to be standing, which hadn’t happened to be the case.

She could tell that the back of her onesie was now coated with the same wet mess that filled her pants, and was sure that the bed sheets must be as well. The light wouldn’t help her see much, and she didn’t want to put her hands back there, but she assumed it was a horrible scene. She had really ruined everything, and to make things worse, it wasn’t even her bed! Come morning, she was sure Miss Julia would be quite upset, and she could only imagine she’d be in for a heavy round of humiliation and possibly even a punishment.

She had experienced a few wet leaks before, but this was different. Her very standardized diet and minimal contact with the outside world meant that diarrhea was very rare, and she’d never experienced it while lying down before. Standing or sitting up, gravity could help to contain things in the seat of her pants for long enough for some more absorption to happen and for someone to realize what had happened and help her get a change. Without that, she was left lying here, feeling thoroughly gross and totally helpless.

She took stock of her situation, trying to decide if there was any way that she could get comfortable for the rest of the night. She wasn’t sure, but her assumption was that the diaper would eventually be able to absorb most of the pure liquid that had escaped her, which would at least prevent further leakage. Shifting slightly, she could tell that much of that absorption had already occurred.

Even with the risk of further leakage subsiding by the minute, she was left with two uncomfortable realities that were unlikely to go away any time soon. The first was the state of her diaper, onesie, and bedsheets. The mess was cooling unpleasantly, and seemed to be turning into a cold, sticky layer that was touching every corner of her diaper area, with plenty of nasty little clumps thrown in for good measure. Further, her wet-with-diarrhea onesie was clinging to her back, pressed up against her by sheets that she knew had barely fared any better in the previous few minute’s avalanche. The other problem was the smell. The initial nastiness of the mess itself had for a moment rendered the smell of what she had done irrelevant. But now, even a room with a diaper pail that did only a little to hide that it held several dirty diapers, what Jackie had done was literally overpowering. Even if she could turn out all of the rest of discomfort, that smell was so bad that she wondered if she’d ever fall back asleep.

Gingerly, she tried to shift to a position where at least the parts of her that weren’t in contact with her diaper might be more or less comfortable. She slowly turned back onto her side, and slid herself slightly closer to the bars of the crib so that she was outside of the wet patch that she’d created on the sheet. It wasn’t much, but it was better.

Jackie still wished for sleep, but knew that it would take a minute. This was truly the messiest diaper she’d ever experienced. She wondered how this could have happened, and how she could have been so unlucky as to have it happen while she was in a stranger’s house.

She supposed it wasn’t really surprising in retrospect. Apparently, on Thursday nights, her hosts had a tradition in which they broke out of their mommy/daddy/babies relationship and all had a more normal dinner. It had been explained to Jackie that afternoon that the twins got to pick what was on the menu, usually got to cook it if they wanted, and that the meal was used as a way for everyone to check in, talk about the week, and make sure that everyone was happy.

Jackie had been pretty stunned when she heard about it, as nothing of the sort happened in her normal life. And even if Mama had asked her questions like that, she was pretty sure that the answers would only be used to further her misery.

Instead, it had quickly been explained to her yesterday morning as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Further, as the guest, she’d been asked if she’d like to choose what they would have for dinner. That had been an absolutely overwhelming choice for her, and when Miss Julia had told her, her immediate reaction had been to ask what her options were. Miss Julia had laughed, and said that anything that they could buy or make within a few hours would be fine with everyone. That was nice, Jackie was sure, but when you’d only eaten baby food for the past 8 years, and not so much as picked out your own clothes even once over that time either, that was an almost impossibly wide set of options.

She’d found herself wracking her brain a little bit, wondering what she should do with this golden opportunity to have whatever she wanted after so long. The strangest thing was that she wasn’t even having trouble choosing so much as she was having trouble coming up with options. Her bedtime at home was 7 PM, and she was always fed before bath time, which functionally meant that there was not any overlap between her meals and those that Mama and her boyfriend would eat after she went to bed. Sometimes as she was falling asleep she’d detect some great smells, but they were never for her, and she didn’t even really know what they were. She detested the baby foods that she was subjected to, but without getting used to their terrible tastes, she had gotten used to the idea of meals as things you simply got through, and she didn’t exactly crave more normal foods the way she had in earlier years of her babyhood.

Her indecision almost got to the point where it was embarrassing her. Finally, she decided to just try to go for foods she remembered missing during those early years. The two that came to mind were pizza and chicken parmesan. Pizza seemed easy, but she decided that maybe she should take this opportunity to make the more sophisticated choice and went with chicken parmesan.

Miss Julia had said that that sounded great, and, for a while, that seemed to be that. They’d gone through the remainder of the morning with the girls all playing at various dumb baby games and then endured a normal baby food lunch – although Jackie noted that since they didn’t mix varieties here, the food was simply unappetizing as opposed to disgusting. After that, the three girls had been herded off to nap time. But it was after that nap-time that things had taken a turn outside of what she expected.

After a quick round of diaper changes for both Jackie and Katie (Lauren hadn’t been wet enough to need one), Miss Julia’s tone had changed pretty much entirely.

“Alright,” she’d said, “Jackie requested chicken parm for dinner, so we probably need about an hour and a half to make that. So everyone has about 2 hours to themselves. Girls, your phones and your books are both in the office.”

Although Jackie was baffled, the twins clearly knew exactly what that meant. Lauren, who’d been seated with her legs over the lowered side of the crib she’d just shared with Katie, had taken out her pacifier and set it on the pillow, then jumped down and walked calmly out of the room. Katie had jumped off of the changing table and followed right behind her, not bothering to remove her pacifier. The two of them were both wearing relatively simple t-shirts, diapers, and socks, and while they seemed to now have the run of the place, neither had bothered to change out of those outfits.

Jackie had been seated at the very top of changing table, having been situated over there by Miss Julia after her wet diaper had been changed so that she would be out of the way of Katie’s change. She was still wearing the dress she’d been in all day, as her Mama had only packed her clothes that were either clearly meant for nighttime and some of her fanciest (and most embarrassingly babyish) dresses, perhaps owing to the fact that the visit was a sort of extended playdate. Reflexively, she sought instruction.

“Wut should me do now, Miff Juwia?” she’d asked from behind her pacifier in her exaggeratedly high-pitched voice.

“Oh, right, I should explain,” Miss Julia said, sounding apologetic. “First of all, from now until bedtime, you can just call me Julia, ok?”

Jackie was a little stupefied, but gave a slight nod. She’d later found that that was a somewhat difficult task, because after knowing her as “Miss Julia” for two years, that was her name in her mind and it was difficult to call her anything else.

“Thursday afternoons are free time around here from after nap time until we start making dinner. Sometimes the girls will grab their phones and call their parents or text some friends or something, or sometimes they will read a book or whatever. I guess you don’t have any of that with you though. Hmm…why don’t you come with me? Would you like to watch a movie?”

“Umm, otay,” Jackie said. She didn’t have anything else in mind, and she hadn’t watched a movie in years, so that sounded pretty good to her.

 “Oh, you can take your pacifier out, too,” Miss Julia continued. “Katie probably didn’t remember to, but she probably will have by now. And you don’t need to use baby talk either.”

With that, she had walked out of the room. Jackie reached up and took her pacifier out of her mouth, feeling more than a little naughty as she placed it next to the baby powder on the corner of the changing table. Still, she had had little time to dwell on it, as she needed to keep pace with Miss Julia despite her somewhat unstable legs.

Fortunately, they only headed about 20 feet out to the living room, where Miss Julia got to busying herself with the remote control on the couch. Jackie sat down on the other side of the couch, soaking in the feeling of sitting on furniture like a normal person, as she normally was only on a couch when she was laying on her back to drink a bottle.

“How about Frozen?” Miss Julia had asked, in a casual tone that Jackie could intuitively sense meant that it was a popular movie.

“Ife neva heard of it,” she’d been forced to admit, with the admission made even more embarrassing by the fact that she’d automatically reverted to her lisp for the first half of her sentence.

“Oh, well then I think you’ve gotta watch it,” Miss Julia had said, not missing a beat, even if she sounded more like she was talking to a 12 year old than a peer (or, in fact, a woman a little bit older than her).

She’d started the movie for Jackie, and then left, presumably to go to tend to something more pressing.

It had taken Jackie a few minutes before she processed that it was an animated movie that had been selected for her, and she wondered if it had been chosen because it wasn’t too mature. However, she had to admit that she was finding it enthralling, and soon Lauren and Katie had emerged from wherever they had been and were both watching the movie as well, which seemed to indicate that it wasn’t too boring.

Sure enough, the movie proved much better than she’d anticipated at the start. Though it clearly was targeted towards children, it was much more mature than anything Jackie normally got to consume. She couldn’t tell for sure whether it was just the years of exclusively hearing stories targeted at children that couldn’t yet say their own names, but she felt like there was some real depth to the story.  The other girls clearly knew it well, and had even unabashedly sang what seemed like the main song when it came on. Jackie had thought the song was a funny choice, since it seemed very sad to her, even if it was defiant. The twins, however, had seemed to feel like it was a total celebration, and had acted accordingly. Perhaps, she thought, if she’d known the movie better, she would have understood.

After the movie was over, Miss Julia had emerged from another room and told both Jackie and then the twins that it was time to make dinner.

At that point, Miss Julia had realized that maybe the dress that Jackie was wearing wasn’t all that appropriate for the task at hand. However, they ran into the problem of not having a natural alternative. Finally, they settled on having her take off her dress and put on an apron, which did provide her a degree of modesty as it covered her chest. Her diaper was still very exposed in the back, but the twins’ were as well, and Jackie was sometimes left topless at home, so this was hardly a major indignity in comparison. They’d all gotten to cooking together, with Katie, who seemed to be a pretty good cook, taking the de facto leadership of the kitchen. It quickly became apparent that Jackie was not well-practiced, so she was left the somewhat mindless job of mashing up the tomatoes to help make the sauce. Frankly, though, she didn’t mind at all, as she was able to sit.

It was a little awkward, as the women around her chatted familiarly. For starters, there was no hint of the baby-mommy dynamic that had seemed entirely natural earlier this morning. They updated each other on family and friends, and talked a little about recent news. While the news could have been applicable to Jackie, she’d had no idea what people were really talking about. At first, they’d tried to politely invite her into the conversation, but Jackie was really struggling to make small talk, and eventually they’d mostly given up, which was a welcome relief. Jackie remembered that she sort of wished she’d had her pacifier, because then nobody would have expected anything out of her.

The most awkward part, although it seemed positively mild given the current state of her diaper, was that she had messed herself just a few minutes before they were ready to get things onto the stove.

As the smell had wafted around the room, Miss Julia had playfully asked “Alright, who was that?”

In near perfect unison, both Lauren and Katie had denied that they were the source, also chuckling. But, with the two of them ruled out, they suddenly knew what had happened, and Jackie had felt them tense up a little.

Although they clearly felt awkward, she’d been somewhat glad that her secret had come out, especially since she actually hadn’t been forced to explicitly claim the deed.

Miss Julia had bailed her out by reacting fastest.

“No problem at all,” she’d said in the same casual tone. “If you don’t mind, I should just finish breading these last couple of pieces of chicken so that we can put everything in the oven on time for Kevin to get home, and then I’ll check these two and change anyone who needs one.”

In a sense, Jackie had been most relieved by that. She’d been pretty sure that she was still supposed to use her diaper, and would have needed help to get out of it to use a toilet, so she’d just gone ahead. It had seemed safest. But as soon as she’d done it, she’d realized that she was in a lot of trouble if she was expected to change herself. As much as she didn’t really want to be cleaned up by a near stranger, it seemed to beat the alternative.

Soon enough, she’d been cleaned up, along with Lauren, who’d actually volunteered that she was now wet enough that she should change before dinner. In a way, it had seemed like her change was more awkward for her and Miss Julia, since they weren’t sure how much to slip back into mommy and baby mode during it, whereas Miss Julia and Jackie had not just been talking like two old friends and so switching back was less of a departure.

By the time dinner had been ready, Kevin had gotten home from work, and they’d all sat down for dinner. The food itself was so incredible that Jackie was nearly brought to tears. She couldn’t be sure, but she felt like it was worthy of a high-end restaurant. But it was more than taste. Just to chew her food for once was amazing, and to actually enjoy a bite as it went down. She knew she was barely containing herself, but she couldn’t help but go back for seconds. There had even been wine, which she had most certainly not had since her forced regression. She was a little self-conscious that she’d wound up with a little sauce on her face, but nobody seemed to care that she was a little rusty with a fork and knife.

Thinking back, Jackie wasn’t sure whether it was the richness of the food or perhaps the unexpected introduction of wine, but it seemed pretty obvious that the dinner had been her undoing. Her stomach had clearly not been able to make the sudden adjustment from the normal mush and milk that it was used to, and the fact that she had had a full-blown feast probably had only made things worse. Recognizing what had happened was alarming. She frequently comforted herself by telling herself that one day this would all be over, and she’d be able to go back to a normal life. She didn’t really have any hope that it would be any time in the near future, but she generally believed it. But, if even just eating a normal meal was going to have such horrible consequences, she realized, then perhaps she was further from being a functioning adult than she wanted to think.

While she was slowly starting to feel her tiredness take over from her discomfort, Jackie wasn’t quite drowsy enough yet to fall asleep. Shifting slightly, she could tell that her back was still pretty gross, and that it was arguably getting worse as it dried. Her diaper was beyond hopeless, but she was somewhat used to spending time in horrible diapers. She didn’t need to sleep in messy diapers very often, but it had happened enough times that she at least knew it was possible. Her only question was whether she’d wake up with a rash in the morning, although, unless it was closer to morning than she thought, in this case that seemed pretty unavoidable.

Once again, Jackie found herself examining the sleeping twins. It had been strange to watch the two of them at dinner. Like during the cooking, Jackie had been brought into the conversation a little for the sake of being polite, but it was clear that the dinner conversation came with a real agenda: the girls and their “parents” were there to discuss how the week had went, and whether anything was needed changing in their relationship.

The conversation had proven incredibly foreign to Jackie. Not only was she quite positive she’d never have an equivalent conversation with Mama, but she’d never say some of the things that these girls were saying.

For starters, they’d said that the last week had been pretty good overall. That, on its own, was pretty mind-boggling to Jackie, but as the conversation had continued, she’d only felt more out of touch. The girls were asked if there was anything that they wanted to change about the previous week, and Lauren had voiced a minor complaint that during times when they were all home she and Katie had been left to their own devices too much. It seemed like she actually wanted to be forced to do more babyish things, which Jackie couldn’t believe. While it could be boring, she always wished there would be more times when she’d just be left alone in her playpen. Most of the time, even if she was left in a room by herself, a baby monitor was left in there as well, and Mama would expect to be able to hear her playing. The only time she ever felt like she could just be on autopilot was when she was having a bottle or breast feeding, and even then, if she was being fed a bottle on the couch she was supposed to always be playing with her own feet as if she found them incredibly interesting. Having to maintain her role, even when no one was really watching, was mentally exhausting, and she couldn’t understand how these girls could even come close to asking to be forced to do it more.

Throughout the dinner, it had been clear to Jackie that her presence was making everyone just a little less comfortable than they otherwise would have been. It was pretty clear that this was a conversation that normally took on a pretty set course each week, but Jackie sensed that it was actually important to each of them. And for it to really work, it probably needed to not have a visitor present. Still, they seemed committed to having it, but Jackie felt like maybe they were holding back a little bit.

It also seemed like nobody was quite sure how to include her. She’d felt a little awkward watching everything unfold, so they probably felt a little awkward too. She’d tried to mostly just focus on the food, which was truly delicious, but it hadn’t helped with anyone’s perception of her as a fifth wheel. Every once in a while, either Miss Julia or Kevin would try to find a way to ask Jackie a question as well, but it was never very natural. After all, questions about her week were not really too applicable. Instead, they’d asked if she was enjoying her visit. She’d answered truthfully, that it was going better than expected, especially with the dinner. It was extra awkward to be babied by what amounted to strangers, but otherwise these people were far nicer than Mama was.

Still, Jackie hadn’t opened up much more, for fear that fully honest answers would only increase everyone’s discomfort. She knew that this was only sort of the same thing as what she experienced at home, and she could tell that everyone else knew too. It wasn’t that she was impossibly out of place, but there was nothing that could be done tonight that would bridge that divide. In a few days, she’d be going home, and that would be worse for her, but since it wasn’t going to change, it didn’t feel like there was even a way to discuss it.

The only time that Jackie had fully engaged had been near the end of the dinner, when she’d been asked how she’d liked the movie. For once, she felt like there might be an opportunity for her to really participate in the conversation. She’d liked the movie overall, and she’d said as much, but then she took the opportunity to ask the girls a question that had been on her mind since it had ended.

“What was it about that song you guys liked so much?” she’d asked, hoping they’d know what she meant despite not being sure of the name.

“Oh, Let It Go?” Lauren had asked. “It’s just so great. You hadn’t heard it before?”

“Well, no,” Jackie answered. “What about it do you like? I thought it seemed kind of sad, but the two of you seemed like you were really excited about it.”

“Hmm,” Lauren said, pausing for a second to consider the question. “Well, I’m thinking about what I feel when I hear it - I guess it feels like a song about just being who you are. And for me and Katie, that is a little…different. But I guess I just like the idea, you know? Like, I felt so much pressure to have a big job and everything, but I didn’t really want that. I wanted to have a job that made ends meet and to be able to just kind of explore this side of myself. A lot of people would think that was crazy, but when I hear that song, it’s just sort of like: ‘Go for it. Who cares what other people think.’ Which is just awesome. You know, it’s like, ‘be you. Be awesome!’”

“Yeah,” Katie had chimed in. “Honestly, I’m curious what even seems sad to you. I think it is such a release of a song, and it happens at such a good part of the movie.”

Jackie had recognized the question as genuine, but had still felt a little defensive. It had been so long since anyone had asked her to explain her opinion, and she was finding it hard to find the words.

“Well,” she’d said, “I guess I’ve only heard it once, but to me it seemed like it was a song about hiding yourself. Maybe I was just listening mostly to the first part, but it seemed like it was all about the rules you have to follow, and how you just sort of are trapped by them. I guess I get that it’s cool that she is deciding that she can be who she wants to be, but she’s a princess with superpowers. Not everyone can just decide that they want things to be different and just go ahead, let that go and make them different. I guess maybe I let it go too, but it feels a little different. Like, at home, it’s better for me if I just let it go and don’t think about it too much. If I do, that makes it harder, and sometimes it makes me act up, and then I am more likely to get in trouble.”

She was getting a little upset, which she hadn’t expected, and she didn’t know where all this was going, so she’d stopped. This was the level of transparency she’d been avoiding, and she felt sure she’d been right to try to steer clear. She could tell that her hosts weren’t sure what to say, and also that they weren’t going to keep talking about the song anymore. When Lauren finally spoke it had seemed like she was flailing a little.

“I think, maybe, we are hearing different things because we are having different experiences,” she said, seeming almost like she was about to cry. “I hope someday you hear it our way.”

Jackie had accidentally brought the conversation to a close, and a few minutes later they had all cleaned up and the girls were brought back into the nursery. With a round of fresh diapers and the reinsertion of their pacifiers, they’d officially resumed their baby roles and been tucked in for the night.

The way the conversation had gone had reinforced for Jackie that she believed that the girls were genuine. She really couldn’t understand it, but they must like this. They really did seem to have a choice, even if during the week they gave up a tremendous amount of control. She had kind of always thought that they were crazy, at best, and losers, at worst. But maybe she wasn’t quite right. They were weird, but that might not be the worst thing you could be.

She almost laughed. Even if she hadn’t been in the dirtiest, most uncomfortable diaper she’d ever worn, this would be a nightmare for her. And there they were, sleeping as if they didn’t have a care in the world. People could be funny, she supposed.


Though she hadn’t really noticed falling asleep, Jackie could remember some wild dreams, all of which were really nightmares. The worst, as far as she’d been concerned, was the last one she’d remembered. She’d been at dinner with the family again, and she’d told all that she didn’t want to do this anymore. All at once, all of them had burst into laughter, not controlling themselves even when Jackie asked what was so funny. Finally, Miss Julia had composed herself, and with some of the kindness in her voice gone, explained.

“You don’t get it, do you? You really are just a baby now. You couldn’t stop even if you had a choice!”

With that, the whole room had burst into laughter again, and Jackie had suddenly become conscious that her diaper had leaked onto the chair at the kitchen table.


To be continued...

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7 hours ago, Neo Anderson said:

It explains that she now lives with her "Mama", which is her former nanny/babysitter, not her actual mother.

Yes, exactly. That detail is first explained in "The Haircut." Someday, I'm hoping to write a story that explores Jackie's feelings about that. For your parents to regress you is one thing, but for them to get bored of it but still not let you grow up but instead sort of pay someone else to deal with you is even rougher.

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On 7/4/2022 at 7:20 PM, rienrien said:

Now I want Jackie to get adopted by Julia and Kevin :(

I guess that means I wrote them right! I actually sketched out an arc in which that happened, but it just didn't feel right. Jackie isn't a character that seems to ever win.

On 7/4/2022 at 7:31 PM, Horizon said:

If you included links to the stories(hopefully in order) at the start of your posts it would help people catch up and follow along easier. Just a suggestion.

That's a good idea!


Thanks for all of the comments so far. Here is the conclusion to this one.


Jackie woke up to a gentle touch to her forehead. Groggily, she opened her eyes, and she started a bit when she found Miss Julia standing over her, having briefly forgotten where she was.

“Shh shh shh,” Miss Julia whispered, managing to affect a soothing coo. She continued to gently rub Jackie’s head.

Jackie settled slightly, but then tensed right back up as she felt the remnants of her diarrhea shift around with her movement.

At this, Miss Julia gently flashed a sympathetic smile.

“I know, baby,” she whispered, now softly massaging Jackie’s shoulder to reassure her. “We’re gonna take you right to the bath before we wake up the other girls, ok?”

Blankly, Jackie nodded, though she wasn’t sure if this was really a question that required her input.

Miss Julia lowered the side of the crib as quietly as she could, which successfully avoided waking up her twin charges.

“Ok,” she continued, with a gentle yet firm command. I have a changing mat on the floor in the bathroom. I’m going to take off your blanket and take it right to the laundry. But I’m also going to take your sheets and the plastic mattress cover off and give them to you. Can you walk with them under you and go right over to the changing mat for me?”

Jackie nodded once again. Miss Julia was whispering in the sort of way one might to a child, but she was using adult terms. Perhaps this cleanup was serious enough that she’d decided that a compromise was in order.

“Alright, here we go then,” Miss Julia said, gingerly grabbing clean parts of the blanket and painstakingly rolling it up so that she could carry it without touching any mess. As the blanket came off, the smell of Jackie’s diaper became even more pronounced, though the room had been offensive for long enough that Jackie was almost nose-blind to it.

Next, Miss Julia released the four corners of the fitted sheet and the mattress cover, which threatened to engulf Jackie.

“Let’s put your feet down now, ok?” she said, prompting Jackie to sit up while maneuvering the sheets so that they sagged through Jackie’s crotch like an enormous diaper cover, and then handing them to the still-drowsy Jackie.

Jackie took them, and without prompting, stood up and moved towards the door. Though her diaper felt much drier than it had before, she could instantly feel some of the substantial amount of liquid that remained flooding down. She kept moving, but looked down, and could see that some more was falling down onto the sheets, but it did appear that Miss Julia’s little invention was at least keeping the floor clean, which, Jackie hated to admit, was quite an accomplishment.

Fortunately, the bathroom was only just outside of the nursery door. Even still, the walk was miserable for Jackie. With every step, the horrible mess in her diaper shifted with her, sloshing the nastiness all around her privates, and confirming that she had, indeed, developed a pretty tender rash over the course of the night.

As they turned the corner into the bathroom, Jackie saw the changing mat waiting for her and made her way to it.

From just behind her, Miss Julia once again took control of the situation.

“Ok, baby, stand still for me, ok?”

With no wait for an answer, she stepped to Jackie’s side, and gently took both ends of the sheets Jackie had been holding out of her hands. Carefully, she lowered the sheets down closer to the floor, and then moved the corners into one hand below Jackie’s legs, allowing her to pull them away from her front and ball them up a bit. She placed them carefully atop the crib’s blanket, which she’d left in the corner of the bathroom.

“Alright,” she continued as she turned back, “and let’s get that onesie, too, so I can get it in the wash with the rest.”

Despite the confident tone, Miss Julia didn’t quite seem to have a plan for how to remove the onesie in anything like a sanitary manner. Jackie couldn’t see it, but she could guess that the crotch snaps of the onesie were stained with the leakage that had clearly wet the garment further up her back. After looking around a moment, Miss Julia reached down to the container of baby wipes next to the mat, grabbed one, and used that to cover her fingers as she unsnapped the buttons.

Even then, there was still work to do. Miss Julia now shifted her grasp to the back of the onesie, still using the wipe as protection for her hands.

“Alright, hands up, please,” she directed.

Jackie complied, and felt Miss Julia lift the back side of the onesie up, peeling some of the wetness off of her back. She was pulling it as far away as she could and eventually Jackie felt her other hand slip under the neckline on her back, helping to guide it up over her head. She then used the free arm to help slip Jackie’s arms out, and suddenly the onesie was off. Somehow, the nastiness hadn’t touched Jackie any further, which seemed like a minor miracle.

“Good girl,” said Miss Julia, flashing a reassuring smile as she turned and gathered the rest of the soiled items from the corner. “Now just stand still for one second while I go and put all of this right in the washer. Hopefully we won’t have too many stains on your cute little onesie. I am sure you probably are feeling icky and itchy, but please try not to touch anything while you wait. I’ll be right back.”

Jackie was fine with waiting. She was, indeed, feeling itchy all over, but she didn’t really need telling twice not to be touching. She wouldn’t want any of that on her hands. In fact, she was quite glad that she wasn’t in charge of cleaning herself up. While she was sure it would be embarrassing, especially with Miss Julia being a relative stranger, she was more than happy for the assistance, and she was pretty sure that it was actually not going to be as bad as if Mama had been administering the change.

Jackie let out a little shiver as she waited. She was cold, and dirty, and couldn’t wait to get into the warm bath that Miss Julia had prepared. She looked at herself in the mirror above the sink, and took in the sad sight of her overwhelmed diaper. It had previously been mostly white, with some little pink butterflies spotting the front and back panels. Now, while the butterflies still held their color, the majority of the diaper was more brown than anything else, and even the sides showed evidence of the intensity of her distress the previous night. Jackie had never seen a diaper look half as defeated. She twisted slightly, looking over her shoulder to see her back in the mirror. Though she’d known that it was covered in waste, she still was disgusted to see that she had a noticeable brownish-black film that came several inches above the waistband of the diaper. All in all, she was a pitiful sight, shivering while sucking her pacifier and standing waiting for someone to help her out of her predicament. She decided to focus her attention back on the tub.

Jackie didn’t have to wait long, as Miss Julia did indeed return after just a few moments.

“Ok, baby,” she said, seemingly trying to be chipper about the task at hand, “let’s get you a little more comfortable, huh? Stay standing there for me first, alright?”

Jackie would do whatever was asked of her, even if this was a little different than she might have expected.

Miss Julia reached down for a wipe once again, and got to work addressing the smears that Jackie had just seen on her back.

“Alright, good enough there, I guess,” she muttered to no one in particular after she’d spent a few moments. “Can you spread your legs for me now?”

Jackie shuffled her feet a little further apart, and looked on as Miss Julia grabbed another handful of wipes and bent to get closer to the area she was cleaning. Though Jackie couldn’t see, she could imagine that this area was also showing signs of her diaper’s failure.

As the first wipe cut through the waste that had apparently been caked on her inner left thigh, Jackie couldn’t help but inhale sharply and recoil slightly at the burn of her developing rash.

“I know, baby,” Miss Julia said, applying a firm yet comforting hand to Jackie’s shoulder. “This will help, I promise.”

The wiping persisted, but Jackie knew she was right, and tried to stay still. After a few wipes had been used and then deposited into the plastic shopping bag that Miss Julia was using to collect the soiled trash, Miss Julia stood upright once more and took a step back to evaluate her progress.

“Ok, and now to get you out of this diaper! Won’t that feel better?”

Jackie thought she might be instructed to get down on the changing mat she was standing on, but Miss Julia went right back to the task without mandating any change of position. Soon the tapes on her left hip had been released, and Jackie felt significant weight falling away from her crotch, followed by a dripping sound. She looked down, but Miss Julia’s body prevented her from seeing what was occurring below her waist. Just a moment later, the tapes on the other side were also freed, and she heard the diaper fall with a splat to the mat below her.

It didn’t stay there long, as Miss Julia grabbed a few wipes to protect her hands and rolled it up. Jackie could now see that this was adding to the mess on the mat beneath her, but this didn’t seem like a major concern for Miss Julia, who worked quickly to get the offending garment into the bag that now contained more than a dozen dirty wipes.

Once she finished, she shifted her priorities to Jackie’s recently-exposed diaper area.

“Alright, this might be weird, but I want you to bend down and put your hands on the side of the tub,” Miss Julia instructed.

Jackie did as she was told, feeling extremely vulnerable as she did so. Still, there wasn’t much difference between this and laying on her back with her legs in the air and a dirty bottom presented for wiping, so she didn’t feel any real need to complain, especially given her desperate need to get freshened up.

Over the course of the next several minutes, Miss Julia continued to use handful after handful of wipes to slowly work her way through the wreckage that had stuck to Jackie’s bottom. Jackie did her best to hold still, despite the fact that most of the strokes found sensitive patches of skin underneath, and after briefly standing back up straight so that Miss Julia could sort out the front of her crotch, she could finally sense that this part of the ordeal was nearly over.

“OK, good enough,” Miss Julia muttered. “Now, how about a nice bath?” she asked, addressing Jackie directly and clearly trying to radiate as much cheer as possible.

Jackie gave a mild nod. She wasn’t really sure if she was expected to answer, but, truth be told, a bath sounded wonderful right now. She still felt pretty gross, and she was increasingly chilly as she stood totally nude in the bathroom. With gentle guidance from Miss Julia, Jackie stepped over the tub wall and gingerly lowered herself to a seated position. The water immediately felt nice on her tender skin, but the contact with the floor of the tub reminded her that there would be no achieving full comfort for at least the next day or two. Still, as she leaned back and rested her head against the wall, she could feel some tension starting to drain away.

“Alright,” said Miss Julia, quickly breaking the silence. “I’ve got to clean up out here first before I get to you. Can you sit still for me for a few minutes while I do that?”

Jackie nodded from behind her pacifier, wanting nothing more than a few minutes more or less to herself. While Miss Julia’s tone wasn’t fully back to her mothering coos and exaggerated enthusiasm, the needless question told Jackie that the babying would be resuming in full shortly. She briefly watched on as Miss Julia brought the plastic bag she was using for trash closer to the mat and used diaper that were still sitting in their soiled state in the middle of the floor, but she decided that she didn’t really need to experience the humiliation of watching someone else cleaning up after her disastrous blowout.

Instead, Jackie closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink a little further into the tub so that her ears were submerged under the water, making it harder for her to hear any sounds coming from Miss Julia’s rather unpleasant chore. It might have been the most relaxing thing that she’d done in a long time, she realized, and she tried to relish the feeling. Even having just had a horrifying incident in front of a relative stranger, she felt less fear of humiliation than she would have if Mama had been here instead. She wasn’t quite sure how, but Miss Julia, Lauren, Katie, and even Kevin had put her at relative ease throughout her stay.

All too soon, though, a gentle hand on her shoulder interrupted her relaxation. Jackie opened her eyes as Miss Julia gently helped her into a more upright position.

“OK then, baby, let’s get you feeling nice and fresh,” Miss Julia said, still seeming just a little too sympathetic to go with her most patronizing tone.

Jackie more or less just let the bath happen to her. Miss Julia was very gentle as she helped clean her hair, a process that could be somewhat time consuming when bathing an adult, and then even more ginger as she began washing the rest of Jackie’s skin. Finally, as she reached Jackie’s midsection, she broke the silence once more.

“Oh dear, you’ve got a pretty nasty rash unfortunately.” There was hardly any baby-talk to her voice now, only a vague twinge of regret. “I wish you’d have let us know. I could have helped.”

Jackie just stared at her, wide-eyed. What did she mean?

The look seemed to register with Miss Julia, and she, in turn, made a face of surprise.

“Is that not something you could do at home?” she asked, with shock and maybe even a little anger in her tone.

Jackie didn’t really answer, but she could tell the answer wasn’t needed. Still, Miss Julia seemed to take a second to compose herself.

“I just assumed you were being polite and didn’t want to wake us because you are a guest,” she explained, still seemingly grasping for words. “Well…” she eventually continued, “I know you are not here often, but if you ever find yourself in that situation again while you are here, you should feel free to just make some noise over the baby monitor. You shouldn’t have to spend the night all dirty and then wake up and have to deal with a rash. I am so, so sorry you had this happen to you.”

She planted a little kiss on Jackie’s forehead, and Jackie could tell that it wasn’t meant to be patronizing in the slightest. She wasn’t sure when someone else had last shown such genuine concern for her well-being, but it truly felt like the first time. She had no idea how to respond, but fortunately, she didn’t have to, as Miss Julia had apparently realized there wasn’t really anywhere that the conversation could go, and had resumed her careful attention to cleaning Jackie up.

Soon enough, Miss Julia was finished and was helping Jackie up and out of the tub. Jackie was dried off, with Miss Julia being careful to dab her diaper area dry as gently as possible, and then Miss Julia helped her ease down onto a new changing mat that had replaced the one that had been so horribly soiled beforehand.

Jackie compliantly raised her legs once she had been situated on her back – she knew that her incontinence made even a return trip to the nursery a slight risk, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was create a further mess for Miss Julia to clean up – and she soon felt another thick diaper slide beneath her. Miss Julia applied some rash cream to her sore backside, gently whispering a small “shh shh shh, I know. This will help,” as Jackie winced in a mix of discomfort and relief.

In just a matter of moments, Jackie was powdered and padded to Miss Julia’s satisfaction. She produced another of Jackie’s onesies, and in just a few moments only the leak guards of the diaper (and its obvious bulge) were visible under the pastel yellow garment.

“OK, sweetie,” Miss Julia said, once again talking as she would to an infant. “We’re going to give the other baby girls a nice bath time too. I just need to go wake them up. Can you come over and sit right here for me?”

As she’d spoken, Miss Julia had closed the lid on the toilet and she was now pointing to it. Jackie obviously didn’t mind, and began to crawl the couple of feet to it. Miss Julia moved around her, quickly turned on the bath water to refill the now-drained tub, and then left the room to go rouse her sleeping charges.

Jackie climbed up to a seated position on the toilet, and as she did she realized that it was the first time that she’d been on a toilet in years. There was no chance she’d be using it for its intended purpose, but she had to chuckle. Even when she was being treated like a baby, this house seemed to serve up lots of things she never got to do at home.

Her reflections came to a quick end as Miss Julia walked back into the bathroom, this time leading a short procession of crawling adults.  

“Straight onto that changing mat please, Baby Katie,” she instructed, stepping aside so that she wasn’t in the way. “Good girl,” she continued as Katie did as she was told.

Lauren followed them in, and as Miss Julia was kneeling in front Katie, she crawled past and came over to Jackie. To Jackie’s surprise, she knelt up and gave Jackie a very enthusiastic hug. Jackie gave a somewhat weaker squeeze in return, and she heard a vague “aww” in the background from Miss Julia.

Both Katie and Lauren were nude except for their diapers, and Miss Julia was quite quick in removing Katie’s. She gathered the girl’s ankles and raised her legs high in the air, quickly wiping her wet bottom and hairless crotch. Perhaps because of the more thorough cleaning to come, this was just a quick pass, and in just a moment the used wipe had been sealed up into a rolled up diaper and Miss Julia was helping Katie into the tub.

“Alright, sit still a minute, Baby Katie,” she said. “And no splashing or else!” she said, in a tone that was both playful and a little serious at the same time. “Let’s go, Baby Lauren – you’re up!”

Lauren needed no second invitation, and soon she was laying on the floor next to Katie’s discarded diaper. Miss Julia repeated the same process she’d just used for Katie, and in just a few minutes Lauren was being eased into the tub as well.

Jackie watched with interest as Lauren was sat down by her former sorority sister. The tub wasn’t enormous, and suddenly Jackie wondered how they were going to fit two adults in there. Lauren and Katie were both smaller than her, but she hadn’t felt like there had been room for a companion in there. However, Katie clearly knew the drill. While she had been seated in a pretty traditional position like Jackie had been, as Lauren had made her way in, she swung around so that her back was against the back wall and her legs were bent up against the shorter front wall of the tub. Lauren situated herself next to her in the same position, and the two actually weren’t even touching one another. Jackie was kind of amazed, although she had to say she was glad she wasn’t involved – it looked like a tight squeeze, and being a little larger, so she had no doubt that it would have made her bath time much less comfortable.

Miss Julia quickly got to work, using a large cup to get each girl’s hair wet given that the tight quarters made it impossible for them to lower their heads underwater.

Somewhat unexpectedly, at least to Jackie, Lauren piped up to start a conversation.

“Mummy?” she lisped from behind her pacifier as Miss Julia used her hand to keep water from falling over her face and onto her glasses. “Did you aweady give Baby Jackie a baff?”

“I did, yes baby,” Miss Julia answered.

Jackie thought that much was likely obvious, as her hair was still wet. She wondered why Lauren was asking, although she remembered from previous encounters that Lauren could really get into a baby mode and start saying stupid things almost just to humiliate herself.

“How come you maked her go first, mummy?” Lauren continued.

“Well, I couldn’t fit all three of you in here at the same time, could I silly?”  Miss Julia responded quickly, slightly dodging the question. Jackie sensed she was lightly covering for her.

“Buth Baby Jackie ith a visitoh. We shudda let her sweep in wate.”

“Oh, that is thoughtful of you, baby,” Miss Julia cooed, sounding like a proud mommy trying not to hurt a child’s feelings when brought a less-than-great present. “But I think Baby Jackie was ready to get all nice and clean and ready for the day, so I got her up and we did bath time while you and Baby Katie kept sleeping.”

Perhaps now Lauren was sensing that her Mommy didn’t want to say more, and she allowed that answer to suffice, much to Jackie’s relief. She’d messed herself in front of these girls before, and seen them mess themselves, but their ability to switch back and forth between the baby world and the adult world, and their relative comfort when they were in that baby mode, all combined to make them feel more mature to Jackie. Somehow, having had such a babyish predicament requiring special assistance would have seemed humiliating.

The rest of the bath passed with only quick instructions from Miss Julia to the two bathers, and soon Katie was helped up and Miss Julia began drying her off. Once she was dry enough, Miss Julia eased her onto the changing mat once more, thoroughly powdered her privates, and then taped on a thirsty new diaper. With a quick pat on the freshly diapered bottom, she turned her attention to getting Lauren out of the tub, while Katie flipped herself onto her hands and knees and situated herself closer to the toilet that Jackie was still seated on, shivering a little as she sat naked but for her diaper on the tile floor.

In just a few minutes, Lauren was also the owner of a fresh new diaper, and Miss Julia had opened the drain to start the water flowing out of the tub.

“OK, babies,” Miss Julia declared in a sing-songy shout, “I need three little girls into that nursery quick, quick, quick!”

Lauren led, and Katie quickly followed suit. Jackie dropped off of the toilet to her knees, internally wondering when she’d next find herself on one, and joined the crawling traffic for the short commute back to the baby bedroom. Once they arrived, all three pulled up in the middle of the room, waiting for further instruction. Miss Julia walked past them and over to a closet.

“Neither of you have video calls this morning, do you?” she asked, apparently referring to their jobs. Jackie knew from last night that they had jobs, but she hadn’t seen them working since she got here on Wednesday afternoon, and she’d only ever seen them in the context of playdates or haircuts beforehand.

“Nawt me,” Katie replied, muffled a bit by her pacifier.

“Me evuh,” Lauren chimed in.

“Alright then, let’s see…” Miss Julia continued more or less to herself, looking through their extensive wardrobes. “Eh, let’s go simple.”

She turned back to the waiting girls on the floor holding a pair of onesies, one a light blue and the other a pastel shade of purple.

“Arms up, babies!” she commanded lightly.

Katie and Lauren both obeyed, and Miss Julia pulled the blue over Katie’s head and then the purple one over Lauren’s. Miss Julia then bent even lower and fussed with each girl’s crotch until the snaps had been closed. She quickly straightened, and took a step back to admire her handywork.

“You three look so cute I could eat you!” she admired. “Baby Katie, can you tell me what color you are wearing?”

Jackie had no idea if this was a common question in this house, but Katie reacted like a pleased child who knew she’d be able to pass a pop quiz.

“Bwue, Mummy!” she squealed.

“Ooh, I haff puhpul Mummy! Juss wike my gwasses!” Lauren chimed in excitedly, her enthusiasm shining even beyond Katie’s.

“Yes, just like your glasses,” Miss Julia said, grinning. “You both are very clever little girls! And what about you, Baby Jackie? What color do you have on?”

Apparently, Miss Julia’s earlier sympathy wasn’t going to spare Jackie from the humiliation of having to answer such an incredibly simple question.

“Wewwow,” she softly lisped.

“That’s right, yay!” Miss Julia replied gleefully. “Three girls who are every bit as smart as they are cute!”

“Alright, now who wants some breakfast?” she continued conspiratorially.

“Me!” Katie and Lauren shouted in unison.

“Alright then, let’s head to the kitchen,” Miss Julia said, this time not prompting Jackie to join in, which Jackie didn’t mind, although given that she had more or less deposited her entire guts into her diaper last night, she was quite hungry.

The group made their way to the kitchen, and once they got there Miss Julia quickly helped Jackie and Lauren into the two available highchairs, then led Katie over to a space at the table that had been fitted with a childish placemat and a babyish spoon. Once Katie was in the seat, she pushed it as far in as possible, forcing Katie’s torso directly against the table. Satisfied, she then went over to a kitchen drawer, grabbed three bibs, and made the rounds fixing them around each of the girl’s necks. She once again paid special attention to Katie, ensuring that the bib draped over the edge of the table and overlapped with the placemat.

“Alright, then, babies! I’m going to heat up the oatmeal! Since we have an extra baby but you two have to work, I’m going to need to trust you to feed yourself so that it doesn’t take too long, ok Baby Katie? I want you to be very careful not to make too much of a mess, ok? No playing with your food.”

“OK Mummy,” she replied cheerfully.

As she made this declaration, she went into the pantry and retrieved some microwave oatmeal, and soon she had things started. She also began mixing bottles for the girls, and when the food was ready, she quickly put the bottles in the microwave as well to warm. Finally, everything was to her satisfaction, and she deposited a bowl and a bottle on each of Jackie and Lauren’s highchair trays.

Moving over to Katie, she once again set down the meal, and then picked up the spoon on the placemat and physically placed it into Katie’s hand as she removed her adult baby daughter’s pacifier with her other hand.

“OK,” she said, now guiding Katie’s spoon hand through the process of scooping up some of the mushy breakfast. “You need to hold on tight juuuust like this, got it? And then you open wide, and just put it riiight in your mouth,” she continued as she plunged the spoon into the girl’s mouth. “Can you do that for me, baby?”

Katie had to chew a little, and then swallowed before she replied.

“Of course, Mummy!”

“Well then show me!”

Katie did just that, smiling broadly in an exaggerated show of bravado as she pulled the clean spoon from between her sealed lips.

“Good girl!” Miss Julia praised. “And don’t forget that bottle! You have plenty of time to finish everything by the time I am done with these two!

Katie gave an enthusiastic nod as she chewed. Apparently satisfied, Miss Julia turned and made her way back over to the two highchairs.

“OK then, La-la!” using an unfamiliar pet name as she removed the other twin’s pacifier “Time for num nums!”

Lauren didn’t make any objections, and Miss Julia proceeded to spoon heaping spoonfuls into her mouth. Jackie could only assume that the overloaded utensil was a deliberate ploy to contribute to a messy face, since it was certainly delivering that result. Miss Julia might have been nicer than some of the other caretakers that Jackie had met, and her charges more apt to play along, but it was clear she wasn’t above using some cheap tricks to guarantee some of the aspects of babyhood that might otherwise be avoidable for an adult.

In no more than about 5 minutes, Miss Julia had scraped the bottom of Lauren’s bowl clean. Setting the dish down, she picked up her bottle and brought it to the girl’s mouth.

“I need you to hold this for me so I can feed Jackie. Two hands, please!”

Lauren gave a slight nod as she complied, and Miss Julia moved away. Unexpectedly, though, she first darted back to the table to check on Katie.

“How are we doing with this bottle over here, little missy?” she asked.

Katie was indeed drinking, but apparently not quite to Miss Julia’s satisfaction.

“Ugh – you barely started, baby! Tilt that head back and get to it! I will not have you be late for work just because you are dilly dallying.”

There didn’t seem to be much of a threat, but Katie did seem to pick up her pace, audibly beginning to suck more rapidly.

Finally, Miss Julia turned back to Jackie.

“Ok, baby Jackie! Sorry about that – you must be so hungry! Who wants some yummy oatmeal? Is it you? I think so! Here we go!”

She hadn’t been very inconvenienced, and Miss Julia’s cooing couldn’t help but make her squirm, but she had to admit that it was so over the top that she was almost entertained despite the embarrassment of being the subject of the conversation. As Miss Julia began the feeding, she reminisced about her last meal. She wasn’t sure if she’d trade the taste for another round of last night’s diarrhea, but she sure did miss the flavor. While oatmeal was more palatable than the lunch and dinner baby foods that she was fed, it was still incredibly bland in comparison with last night’s feast.

Jackie mindlessly made her way through the feeding. Miss Julia was cooing occasional nonsense, but she’d long ago trained herself to barely hear such things, as during a feeding there was no chance she’d really be expected to speak. She had told herself while watching Lauren that she’d test her theory that Miss Julia was deliberately causing messy faces by seeing if she could actively avoid one, but midway through she realized that she hadn’t been paying any attention and that she already had some oatmeal on her chin and there was likely more on her bib. She still assumed that Miss Julia’s tricks were to blame, but now she also wondered if her absent-mindedness was a contributing factor to her shamefully messy eating.

It wasn’t long before Jackie was herself done with her oatmeal, and Miss Julia once again set down the bowl, replacing Jackie’s pacifier rather than moving on to the bottle.

“Let me get these two ready and settled for work, then I’ll be right back to feed you your bottle, ok Baby Jackie?” she asked as a form of explanation for stepping away.

Jackie could, of course, have held the bottle just like the twins had, but incompetence wasn’t the reason she was treated like a baby, and she knew that it wasn’t worth spending much time thinking it was unfair or trying to advocate for different treatment. Following what the grown-ups said was always the easiest answer. So, she watched as Miss Julia rounded on Katie and then Lauren, wiped their faces, and then removed their bibs. She released the tray of Lauren’s highchair, helped her down, and then, with the girls now standing next to each other, gave them both kisses on the top of their heads. If Jackie hadn’t been so used to the absurdity, seeing that Miss Julia had to slightly get onto her toes to do so would have underlined just how surreal of a sight this was.

“Alright, off to work, you two! Try to be ready for lunch at 12:30.”

“Yeth mummy!” they said in unison, and then walked off in unison towards the hallway that led to their office.

Miss Julia didn’t bother to watch them on their way, instead gathering up their dishes and bottles and bringing them over to the sink. Next, she went to the refrigerator and grabbed not one but two bottles, which she briefly popped into the microwave. Jackie was a little surprised, as there was already a bottle on the tray in front of her. After the microwave beeped, Miss Julia brought the two bottles over to an end table near the couch, then finally, returned to the highchair to retrieve Jackie.

“Alright, little girl. Let’s get you down.”

Miss Julia grabbed her bottle off of her tray, then released the tray from the rest of the chair, setting it aside on the table before using her free hand to help Jackie slide down from her seat. Jackie dropped straight to her hands and knees, and noticed as she did that a small clump of oatmeal fell from her bib to the floor, reminding her that she also still had some of her breakfast stuck to her face, where it was drying slightly. She frequently had to drink her bottle before being cleaned up, so this was nothing new, but it was still humiliating to be left a complete mess when both she or Julia could easily have cleaned things up for her.

“Can you crawl over to the couch for me, baby?” Miss Julia asked, as if the destination wasn’t obvious. “Good girl!” she continued as Jackie did so, acting as if her compliance was some major achievement.

They arrived in just a moment, and Miss Julia quickly sat down near the arm of the couch closest to the table that held the other two bottles. Setting down the original, she put both hands into Jackie’s armpits and helped boost her up onto the couch, deftly guiding her so that she was soon flipped over with her head cradled in Miss Julia’s arms with support from the arm of the couch and her diapered bottom and legs were sprawled out on the remainder of the couch. There was a brief pause as Miss Julia fiddled with her bib to ensure that it was covering most of Jackie’s chest, though there wasn’t much chance it would be needed now that she’d moved onto the bottles. Finally, she removed Jackie’s pacifier and replaced it with the nipple of a bottle, which Jackie reflexively suckled.

“Baby might be a little dehydrated after her yucky tummy last night, so we’re going to have you drink a little extra milkies,” Miss Julia said as the first drops of formula reached Jackie’s tongue.

Jackie hadn’t thought of that, but she supposed it might be true. Normally she’d close her eyes during a bottle feeding, or focus on her feet since she was supposed to be playing with them at home, but something about the tone of Miss Julia’s voice (or maybe even just the plausibly thoughtful premise) made her look up. She wasn’t sure what she expected, but she was surprised to see the expression on Miss Julia’s face.

The only way that she could describe the look was pity. And sure, she probably looked pretty pitiful – she was an adult wearing a diaper, a onesie, and a bib, with food covering her face, sucking a bottle in another adult’s lap. Sometimes Mama would make a point to remind her how pitiful she looked in situations like this, but she was doing that to humiliate her. This was different. It was genuine.

Jackie was surprised by her reaction. Miss Julia seemed to still be thinking about their bath time conversation earlier, and to care about it. Like she’d seen Jackie’s anguish and had an emotional response to it. That hadn’t happened to her in years, and it was touching her. She didn’t meet too many people in her second babyhood, but normally they fell into two categories: other humiliated adult babies doing whatever they needed to do to cope with their own misery, and adults who saw it as their whole purpose to add to that misery. She deserved to have someone care about her feelings, but it had been so long that having someone do so was shocking to her.

She kept sucking the bottle, which wasn’t hard since she was basically always sucking on something, but her mind was suddenly racing. Miss Julia, for her part, was occasionally whispering little things like “such a good girl,” but mostly she was just holding the eye contact that Jackie was making.

Jackie was starting to realize that part of her emotions were that she had completely given up on people being nice to her. Miss Julia wasn’t really in too much of a position to help her, but just the fact that she seemed to care at all was making her feel so much more at ease. She still needed to live as a baby here, but she didn’t need to humiliate herself so actively. She could just kind of live, and know that some people would look out for her a little.

Tenderly, Miss Julia switched her over to the second bottle, stroking her head gently as she returned her hand to the cradling after putting down the first bottle.

Jackie decided that she liked it here. She wouldn’t want to be here if she could pick anywhere in the world, but that was because she wouldn’t be in diapers or anything like it. But, given her lot, this was a lot better than being home with Mama.

At the start of the trip, she’d wished it would be over. Being alone with these strangers had seemed incredibly awkward, and she would rather get back to the known territory of her own nursery. Like she did at home, she’d been rooting for time to pass as quickly as possible so that she could just get on to the next day. But, suddenly she found herself wishing the trip would go on for as long as possible. Sure, there was a lot of awkwardness, but these people weren’t out to get her. That was so much better than home.  

Jackie felt her shoulders relax, and she involuntarily snuggled a little closer to Miss Julia. If she was going to be nice to her, she reasoned, she’d be a fool not to take it. Even as she did, she wondered if letting herself relax would only make it harder to go back home to Mama. But that was a problem for Sunday. 

For now, and for once, she was going to do her best to enjoy her time away from Mama.

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  • GFOP changed the title to The Morning After the Night Before (Final part added 7/6/22)
6 hours ago, GFOP said:
On 7/4/2022 at 5:20 PM, rienrien said:


I guess that means I wrote them right! I actually sketched out an arc in which that happened, but it just didn't feel right. Jackie isn't a character that seems to ever win.

Wrote them right? You're the Frank Norris of diaper humiliation. Of course you wrote them right. 

And I want to say getting adopted by them wouldn't necessarily be a win. I would love to see what happens to her ironic self detachment if she's finally forced to let her guard down. It might crack her.

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12 hours ago, rienrien said:

Wrote them right? You're the Frank Norris of diaper humiliation. Of course you wrote them right. 

And I want to say getting adopted by them wouldn't necessarily be a win. I would love to see what happens to her ironic self detachment if she's finally forced to let her guard down. It might crack her.

? You are definitely on my wavelength. When I was outlining what that might look like while keeping it true to all of the characters, the thought I had was that they'd be trying to help her rebuild her wardrobe and regain at least her bowel control, but it would all culminate in Jackie having that mythical first totally accidental messy diaper in front of a sales associate and Julia needing to find a way to bail her out in a fitting room. So, yeah, it would have been better, but it wouldn't have been all roses. 

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2 hours ago, GFOP said:

When I was outlining what that might look like while keeping it true to all of the characters, the thought I had was that they'd be trying to help her rebuild her wardrobe and regain at least her bowel control, but it would all culminate in Jackie having that mythical first totally accidental messy diaper in front of a sales associate and Julia needing to find a way to bail her out in a fitting room.

The only thing missing here is Julia orchestrating the whole scenario.  She sees how vulnerable Jackie is. Julia is fascinated by how much control Michelle has over Jackie, but Jackie is on guard against her family and mama. Julia is the only one in position to deliver the killing blow, and I think she's curious what it would be like.

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  • 2 weeks later...
10 hours ago, Babyjenna said:

So does this mean no more of this story?

Well, this episode is complete, but I have another project set within Jackie's universe that I will start posting in the next couple of days. 

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  • 1 year later...

It's great coming back to these awesome stories. I wonder if we'll ever hear about the dynamic with Mama and Dada (Mama's boyfriend)? And how much fun that was for Jackie!

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