Funny stories

[LilFozzyJ5]

Whats the funniest story you can recall from your time in the forces?

[Dprlvr69]

How about the most embarrassing thing that happened to me.

I was in the US Navy.  I was at a shore base command.  We had a training room that we used for breaks and lunch.  One day during lunch we were in the lunchroom. eating lunch and watching TV.  There was a commercial that came on about a pillow you put between your legs when you sleep.  After the commercial was done, I said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, "How can anybody sleep with something between their legs."  as soon as I said it the whole room (about 15 men and women) looked at me.  I was red in the face and wishing the I could put the words back in my mouth.

[LilFozzyJ5]

I was on guard on the main gate and a chap in civvies drove up. Now if your armed you dont salute. I look at his id, can tell he is army and an officer (different service number). 

I pass him back his id, say "thank you sir", and raise the barrier.

He doesnt move, other cars are pulling up behind. I wait, he waits.

I then said "is there a problem sir?"

He doesnt look at me but says "dont you salute army officers in the Air Force?"

(And this is priceless)

I reply "We dont have army officers in the Air Force sir, goodbye"

My oppo' is giggling like a school girl on the far side of the car

[bluediaperboy]

Here in the USA some military members souses are really rude and just a pain to be around sometimes. We call these people dependas. They are usually condescending, dont work, and use their spouses rank to hold a false authority over someone lower ranking than their spouse. Once time before I joined up, I was at Wal-Mart getting groceries when a dependa was being very condescending to the cashier next to me. At the time I was also a military dependent with my husband on deployment over seas. I had finally had enough of her ill behavior when she said "My husband is a staff sergeant and I refuse to be treated this way." I turned around, looked this woman in the eyes and said "Ma'am, this is Wal-Mart. No one here gives a flying **** about your husband's rank. Now be more polite to these people or leave." She was absolutely befuddled that someone would talk to her like that.