Brie's First Girlhood: Priv with groveoflove

[LilGirlLya]

"Yeah, I can see how you wouldn't even think of that, but it's apparently true! Oh, so many questions, I think biologically it's the same but historically littles haven't had the easiest time, it's only been in the last hundred years or so we realized how special you cuties were." Rachel didn't want to come right out and say it but the truth was in the past littles didn't tend to live the longest or best lives over a hundred years ago, they couldn't work as much or as well as others and needed to be taken care of their entire life. In premodern times, that didn't tend to work out well for them. Of course, before then things were as bad if not worse as they had been in Maddie's dimension. It had taken a cultural shift towards embracing the lifelong childhood of littles to really spark a change in society toward being more determined than before to make sure to provide a better future for these little people who couldn't and never would do it on their own. "Absolutely, I'll give it a rinse and then fill it up for you." 

"Um, could I get some lemonade actually?" That sounded really good to Brie knowing what she did about how potent sugar was on her little taste buds here.

"You two go on and get some lemonade in her, Maddie and I can wait here. Maddie, do you want to sit in the stroller or on Mommy's lap while we wait for them?"

[groveoflove]

“Do you want anything, Rach? And hand me Maddie’s cup, I can rinse it and fill it up for you two.” May offered, waiting till Rachel answered and handed the sippy cup over. Once that exchange was over, she gave them her usual grin, adjusting Brie on her shoulders before heading off to one of the food stands.

It did indeed sell lemonade, in two varieties; little and bigs. The little one was likely much sweeter, while the other was probably more sour and citrusy in a way that small tiny tastebuds wouldn’t like. May ordered a few cups of it, handing over Brie’s sippy cup to be filled. It was an adorable little cup, and then she wouldn’t have to worry about any spills. “Alright, princess, make sure you hold on tight to me while I hold the cups, okay?” Before they left, May made sure to ask the staffperson if they could rinse Maddie’s cup as well, and to just fill it with water.

”Lap, I don’t like the stroller.” Fern said immediately, watching the other two walk off. “What was your favorite animal here so far, Mommy? I already said I liked the mammoths the most, but I liked the polar bears too. And I think Brie liked the bears too, she isn’t pouting anymore.”

[LilGirlLya]

"Just a water would be good for me, thank you." Once May and Brie had left, Rachel brought Maddie onto her lap and cuddled with her, bouncing her gently up and down on her knee. "Oh, let me see. I think I like the polar bears most of all. Especially with the cute baby bear. I think you were in such a rush to see the mammoths we missed some of the other animals like the giant sloths back there. We can see them next time though unless you want to loop back around when we're done." "I think she did too, poor Brie is certainly not having the easiest time. But it's hard for a lot of littles to act like grown ups, that's why you end up littles when you come here after all."

Brie held on tightly while May juggled the cups in her arms. The ones that must have been for her and Rachel were enormous and her and Maddie's had to easily be at least 20 ounces if not more by their dimensions standards. She bounced a little more than normal without May able to hold her steady but eventually they returned to the group. Drinks were distributed and Brie found herself in possession of her lemonade. She took a small drink at first before lifting the cup and sucking out a much larger one from the sippy lid. The drink was intoxicatingly sweet with the faintest bit of tart like a delicious candy and Brie slurped down as much as she could.

[groveoflove]

“They brought giant sloths back too? Did they ever bring back saber toothed tigers?” Fern asked, before frowning as Rachel went on. He still wasn’t really on board with this whole littles just weren’t meant to be adults, regardless of what dimension they came from theory. It still felt like this world was intentionally designed so ‘littles’ didn’t really have a fair chance to be adults, everything was far bigger than them and every amazon was watching them for any sign of immaturity.

But before he could think on it longer, May and Brie were back with the drinks. Fern was pretty thirsty at this point, so he was glad to take his own sippy cup to start chugging down the water, still very much enamored with the mammoth designs on it. He wished he’d grabbed Benchley from the stroller though, because once he was done, he was boredly waiting for everyone else to finish up. “If we go back around the loop to see the sloths, can we look at the mammoths again? Just for a little bit? They might be doing something different now that’s it latter in the day.” Fern said, a bit impatiently, fidgeting on Rachel’s lap.

May sat down next to Rachel on the bench, shifting Brie over to her lap after handing the drinks. “Slow down, princess, chugging it down that fast might make you sick.” May warned, playfully tapping the little’s head. “Okay, gang, do we have anymore animals we want to see, or should we start looping back to the entrance? Any little pairs of feet and eyes feeling tired yet?” She glanced at Rachel, and then Brie. She had a feeling Maddie would want to stay here till closing if it was up to her!

[LilGirlLya]

"Both actually, you were just in such a hurry to see the mammoths we breezed right by them!" Rachel knew Maddie would want to stay as long as possible but didn't know how Brie would feel about that. She'd already had a rough day after all.

"I don't mind, we can stay a bit longer." Brie's feet were getting tired but she wanted to get Maddie alone to talk to her, and even if they'd be in the backseat of the car together, Maddie still probably wouldn't feel comfortable talking with May and Rachel close by. She did want to see some more animals too.

"Well I guess that settles it unless you're needing to leave May? Maddie, are you wanting to see the nocturnal first or prehistoric animals again?"

[groveoflove]

“Just checking if either of the girls were feeling tired. Of course I should’ve known Miss Maddie has endless energy for staying at the zoo!” May playfully teased, picking Brie up once she was done her drink. “Alright, princess, I do think you’re getting tired from all this walking, so back to the stroller, alright? You and Maddie could always chat and play while we walk.” May slid Brie back down into the stroller, smoothing down the little’s hair. 

“Oh! I just really wanted to see the mammoths!” Fern giggled a bit, ducking his head. He was, of course, biased towards the prehistoric animals but he was starting to feel a bit self conscious about picking most of the animals they’d seen. And he’d thought he remembered May saying earlier she always liked the bats. “The nocturnal animals maybe? And then the prehistoric animals? Can we still go to the giftshop before we leave too?” He was interested in what might be there, and he also knew Brie seemed to really like stuffed animals. And they’d definitely have those there. Fern fidgeted again as everyone got ready, sighing as it looked like it was going to be another ride in the stroller. 

[LilGirlLya]

Brie wasn't really happy about it but she let herself get put in the stroller. There wasn't really much use arguing about it after all, her feet were starting to bother her. As soon as they left she'd ask about new shoes. Even just some sandals would probably fit more comfortably. She doubted she would 'play' with Maddie but she might try to talk to her, or at least see if she even wanted to have a talk like the one Brie was planning. The stroller might not be good though, there had been a playground near where they took a nap though?

"Alright Maddie, we'll do it in that order then. Nocturnal animals, prehistoric again, and then zoo. If Brie wants to come again later to see the rest of the zoo, we can always bring a guest on our membership." Rachel got Maddie all secure and strapped in next to Brie, making sure Benchley was in her hands and her mammoth sippie was in reach before pushing the stroller onward to it's destination.

Once the stroller was running and May and Rachel were engaged in small talk, Brie nudged Maddie. "Psst..Maddie," Brie whispered, "Do you think I can ask you something while we're here? I was going to say something earlier but..well, you know. I just want to ask you before we leave but I want us to kind of be alone first. Is there anyway you can get any privacy from your Mommy?"

[groveoflove]

Fern was happy to take Benchley, holding her tight in his small hands. He felt a bit bad for leaving her behind for even just a few minutes in the stroller. Sure, he knew she was just a plastic toy shark, but he couldn’t help but feel so attached to her. But as he settled in to play with Benchley as the adults walked, Brie caught his attention, apparently wanting some secret talk. “.....I don’t know.” Fern admitted, whispering as well. “She usually only lets me alone in the playpen or highchair if I’m not sleeping. She let me play without her when we went to the park, I guess. But she  was watching the whole time.” He vaguely wondered what Brie wanted to ask so bad. Maybe it was about her wearing diapers now, because she seemed so self conscious and embarrassed about it. But he didn’t know what help he’d be there, he was apparently too small for even pull-ups.

May walked alongside Rachel, enjoying the nice breezy spring weather. “Brie and Maddie seem to be becoming friends, isn’t that cute? I was worried at first Brie might think she was too mature to want to because Maddie is so little, and she’d want to hang out with the ‘adults’, but she seems to be having fun. It’s so adorable! I’ve been thinking Brie might feel more comfortable too if she met some other littles, but she’s awfully shy.” Not to mention, May still had a feeling Brie would feel awkward around other adopted littles...

 

[LilGirlLya]

"Do you think maybe we can ask them to stop at the playground or maybe some place at the nocturnal animal place, it's important." Brie asked. Unfortunately, talking to Maddie while temporarily being socially viewed as just a bit older than her was not easy. It was never easy to have this conversation, but something was spurring Brie on. It took a bit for her to realize why it was so important to her and she finally hit on the fact that if Maddie was still an 'egg' so to speak, then without outside intervention, she might never get a chance to be her, him, or themselves. It's not like she was growing up and moving off to college anytime soon. Brie had been closeted for a while with only internet friends knowing, had just being able to tell someone had been sustaining.

"They do seem to be getting along well. I was surprised at first but I'm less surprised now. I think she'd probably benefit from knowing other littles, maybe seeing what they're like and just having some new friends. It could do her some good to just let go and play. She's so tense. As long as you ease her into it, she should be fine. I'm not saying toss her in the deep end at the daycare or anything, but a playmate could do her some good. Maddie might be good for her to talk to but Maddie isn't going to help her just let go and relax like she needs to. Do you have any friends or coworkers with littles? You could do a playdate?" Rachel suggested. Finally, they arrived outside a large white building with no windows. "I think we're here little ones." Rachel sing songed as she pushed the stroller up the ramp, through the automatic doors and into the cool darkness.

[groveoflove]

“I guess. As long as we can finish up seeing the animals first.” Fern still had his priorities after all. He was a bit curious why Brie was so insistent though. And he wondered if they’d actually manage to have said talk, it wasn’t like Rachel really left him by himself ever. She was usually always in earshot. Oh, well.

”Some of my old roommates had adopted little siblings. Not sure if any of them have gotten around to adopting yet themselves however.” May knew when their parents were younger, a lot of amazons adopted littles as early as they could. It wasn’t exactly unusual for just out of high school graduates to snag an old classmate, or a little who wasn’t doing that well in a college class with them. But more emphasis these days were being put on if an adoption was healthy for both the little and the wannabe parent, so most people tended to wait till they had a steady income and home. “Might ask around then. Maybe one of them has or knows someone with a little closer to Brie’s age? Seeing someone her age comfortable and happy might help her not stress so much.” May shrugged, sighing in relief at gust of cold air as they walked in. Bet that felt great come summer. “You girls alright? No one spooked by the darkness?”

”I like the dark.” Fern answered, pushing Brie’s request to the side for now as he sat up in the stroller. The cool air made him feel glad he had a jacket on, he never really liked cold weather. “Oh! What kind of bats do you think there are? And is there any aye-ayes?” Fern squirmed in excitement, ready to share more animal trivia. “The largest known vampire bat was called Desmodus draculae! It went extinct a really long time ago though, so I don’t think they could bring it back. And the smallest known bat is called the bumblebee bat! It’s the smallest mammal.”

[LilGirlLya]

"I think it would be good for her. I know Maddie has difficulty too but the other day she was playing with these twins at the park and I think for a moment she sort of let go and was enjoying herself a bit more. Of course, she's a lot more of a Mommy's girl too, I think she'd enjoy just doing forts and scary movies together until we're both old and gray!" Rachel smiled and laughed a bit at the thought. Of course, that was what she wanted. Littles never 'grew up' after all, they stayed more youthful than a mid or amazon their whole lives but they still got older. Once inside, Rachel grinned at Maddie starting up again with the animal facts, "No, I had no idea about those baby. I'm kind of afraid of bats myself, not like really afraid but..I don't know. Not my favorite. They're important though and I'm glad you like them!"

"Me too," Brie agreed. She was looking at the animals but also keeping her eyes open for any place that might serve as an excuse to get away from May and Rachel for a moment. Finally, the chance came when she saw an exhibit designed just for littles and young amazons and inbetweeners. "Ooh, May," Brie called up from the stroller and pointed to the exhibit. It was a minature play space designed to look like a burrow and promising exhibits of small, burrowing animals inside. "Can Maddie and I go in there please?"

"I don't have a problem with it," Rachel said, "Maddie, do you want to go explore with Brie?"

[groveoflove]

“Oh! Isn’t that cute? Sure you can, Brie.” May grinned, unbuckling the little from her stroller and placing her down on the ground. It looked like the burrows hadn’t been hit by the crowds yet, so it was still fairly quiet, only a few young amazon kids scampering around.

Well, even if Brie didn’t want to have some secret talk, Fern would still be up to exploring the playspace. He’d definitely be closer to the animals than he’d been all day, so that seemed fun. Once Rachel slid him out of the stroller, Fern waited till Brie was ready before heading off to clamor on into one of the tunnels, settling down at the first exhibit that didn’t have any other kids around it. “Look, Brie, burrowing owls! I always liked owls, they have such big eyes.” This exhibit was cool, it was definitely actually sized for littles and really young amazons/in-betweeners. Which meant it was just, well, toddler sized, but here it wasn’t so massive he’d get tired from just moving around.

[LilGirlLya]

Brie followed after and admittedly being appropriately sized for things was always nice. The animals were cool too and the specialized enclosures let them get up close to the glass. Finally, they came to an open area where Brie could take Maddie aside without blocking traffic, "So Maddie, I had a question from earlier." It was certainly going to be an awkward conversation but after accidentally pooping her pants earlier any concern for that needed to be pushed aside. "Earlier we were talking about pronouns and I asked yours and Rachel and May cut us off. People have also called you a boy a lot today and you don't seem to be bothered by it. This isn't an easy question to ask, but Maddie, why pronouns do you like and do you like people thinking you're a boy?"

[groveoflove]

Fern settled down to watch the owls for a bit, still clutching Benchley in his hands so she could see them too. He glanced curiously at Brie as she started talking, but immediately tensed as he realized her choice of a topic. “Why are you asking?” Fern said defensively, already immediately on edge. Why was she doing this now and here? Why did she care? He felt a pang of anxiety, nervously holding the toy shark tighter. “I-I’m not- why do you care?”

[LilGirlLya]

Brie could immediately see Maddie tense up. It wasn't going to be easy but now that she'd said it, she needed to continue. She couldn't force Maddie out unless they were ready but that response was all it took to know that she wasn't imagining things. "Because if the answer was she/her and yes that would have been a very easy question? Because I'm trans and know it really sucks and it's lonely but it doesn't have to be once you let even a single person in. Because if I had to be an adopted little, the thing about it that would make it the worst wouldn't be diapers or clothes or anything, it would be about having to do it as a boy again."

[groveoflove]

Fern’s chest felt tight and hot, and he was seriously debating just backpedaling straight out of this conservation, and hurrying back to Rachel. The idea of someone guessing was bad enough, but now Brie was outright asking him like it was just some normal casual thing to do. And if she could guess, what if Rachel could too? What did she even want? How did he know if he answered, she wouldn’t just go and tell Rachel? The thought of having to deal with that all over again just made him feel even more anxious and wary. “Why are you asking, what does it matter, huh? I-I don’t-, why do you care?” He repeated, stumbling over his words. “Why do you want to know?”

[LilGirlLya]

"Because I could be the only person who understands. Because it feels good for someone to call you by your name. What is your name?" Brie implored the person in front of her. It was growing harder and harder to see them as a girl but Brie wasn't quite sure what they were yet, although the choppy short hair and overalls did lead her to having an idea. "I won't tell anyone else, you can decide when to do that. I want to know because I want to know the real you, because it's terrible being in the closet."

[groveoflove]

“How do I know you aren’t going to tell anyone?” Fern risked, it not quite being a confession, but it wasn’t a denial either. “P-People have said that before. To me. And they lied, and told everyone else at school. And everyone knew, including all the teachers and parents, and my dad-“ His chest hurt, and his throat was tight and heavy. Even just talking about this made it seem like he was right back in school senior year, and how awful it had been.

[LilGirlLya]

"Oh, oh, it's OK. You can cry if it helps. Can I hug you? Do you need a hug? I'm not going to tell anyone because I know how much it hurts when someone does it to you. Believe me, I know." Brie though back to her own life and how many times she'd been caught with girls clothes before she came out. Even still it gave her a deep shame how she wasn't able to stand up for herself then or be honest with herself at that point.

[groveoflove]

“No.” Fern hid his face in his hands, feeling far too anxious and tense for someone to touch him right now. He was too on edge, it would just make him feel more panicky. “Y-You can’t tell Rachel. Or M-May. Even if she adopts you, you can’t.” He insisted, his voice shaky. Fern didn’t bother moving his hands, continuing to hide his face as he tried to build up some courage alongside the sickening anxiety he felt right now. He felt a bit like throwing up, as well as getting his usual stress headache. “I, um. I’m. I-I. I like Fern. As a name.”

[LilGirlLya]

"OK, I promise I won't tell, but I'll help you when you're ready." Brie let the comment about being adopted slide past without taking issue with it. Truth be told engaging with it at all might have caused her to change topics and thus end the conversation and instead protest that she wasn't going to be adopted. May had told her she'd get to go home and even if she wasn't entirely sure that was true, with no way to affect the situation and she was choosing to believe it was. "OK, nice to meet you Fern. Are you a boy, a girl, both, or neither?"

[groveoflove]

“Um. A boy, I guess.” Fern was confused by the question. How could you be both a boy and a girl? Or neither? Maybe it was like that one time he’d braved the rather tiny (and quiet) gay/straight alliance club at school. He’d been surprised to hear people could be things besides straight or gay, he’d never really heard about it before. Wasn’t like anyone really talked about it in his small town. “I think so anyway.” His heart was still pounding in his chest, and part of him was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but as the minutes dragged on, Fern didn’t feel as completely stressed out. Though now he was going to have to be worried Brie lied about not telling anyone or if she accidentally mentioned it or not.

[LilGirlLya]

"Cool, it's good to meet the real you. It's OK to not know everything right now, believe me I know it can be a big feeling to just come out and say it so if everything isn't 100% clear I get that. I'm glad you told me though. Do you want to go look at the other animals Fern?" Brie decided to move the topic back to something that Fern might be more comfortable with. Huh, Fern was an interesting name for a boy, But, he picked it just as much as she'd picked Brielle and that wasn't exactly a normal name either. Brie waited on Fern to agree before the two of them explored the burrow a bit more together, Brie hoping for a return to the animal facts since it would mean Fern was settling down.

"They've been in there a while," Rachel mused to May. "I wonder if something caught their eye? All I know is if they wanted privacy for this long I'm checking Maddie when she gets out. She'll probably be stinky. I'm not going to tell you what to do but you might want to give Brie a check too. They both could be using this break to do any potty stuff in private."

[groveoflove]

“Yes.” Fern agreed, happy to have any distraction from this nerve wracking conversation. He scampered on forward, only pausing to stop and look at the next animal, an aardvark. “.....I like their snouts.” He still felt a bit too nervous to start giving out animal facts again, but just watching them calmed him a bit. Now that he wasn’t so focused on Brie however, he did notice at some point, he must’ve peed in his diaper during all that anxiety, it felt pretty squishy. The aardvark was admittedly pretty boring compared to the other animals, so it wasn’t long before Fern felt good enough to move on. Looked like they were approaching the end of the burrows, just a few animals left.

”Poor Brie went so much in her pull-up earlier, she’s probably empty on that kind of mess at least. Might be wet though, she hasn’t gone since I changed her.” May mused, glancing around to make sure the two littles hadn’t wrapped round to the start of the burrows. “Maddie probably got distracted by an owl or meerkat, and is talking Brie’s ear off. She really knows a lot about animals, huh? Maybe I’ll surprise you two with a dog come Christmas.” May teased. “Or a baby mammoth.”

[LilGirlLya]

"Yeah, they are pretty cute. I think I liked the owls more. You ready to go back out and see the mammoths again?" Brie asked before darting ahead, only pausing to turn around and give a playful, 'ladies first,' and a wink and the newly out boy hoping to lighten him up before they met with his Mommy and her temporary caretaker again.

"Oh, there they are," Rachel said as Brie left the tunnels first. "Was it fun in there, did you two see a lot of cool animals?" Rachel's hand went for Maddie''s bottom and a quick squish test confirmed her suspicions that at least one of the littles needed some new pants. "I know we have one squishy girl here. What do you say we finish up in here and get you out of that wet diaper before we see mammoths again, huh?" Rachel took Maddie by the hand and proceeded through the rest of the exhibit with her leaving May and Brie to catch up. It might be better to give them some privacy if Brie was still anxious about her own diminishing potty training.

It didn't surprise Brie that Fern had ended up wet after that conversation. Even back home extreme anxiety was likely to leave her with a damp spot in her panties or on a pad if she'd planned ahead and wore one. It only made sense here that it would lead to wettings like she'd already experienced and if Maddie, no Fern, was anxious too, then him having them too wasn't a surprise. It did make her wonder if it might be a good idea to just give in and go ahead and try to let go off whatever was in her bladder. If she was stuck in a diaper they probably expected her to use it after all and if Fern was about to be changed now was probably a good time. Then again, May might still offer to let her use a toilet if a suitable sized one was nearby. She'd wait to know what her options were before attending to that matter.