Regression Therapy (private)

[RegressionRevolution]

I looked at my phone.

I looked at the house number. 

I looked at my phone again... The house number matched the address I'd been given, this was definitely the correct place and yet I found it impossible to move forward and knock on the door. I was anxious about what lay beyond. I figured with one of the big plastic buttons on my Marino wool coat. 

I was here to see a regression therapist at the behest of my councillor. I had thought regression therapy was was something I could do with my regular therapist. I had thought it was that thing you see on TV were the patient is hyponosised and helped to recall some repressed memory causing them trauma. 

The good news was that I'd had a fantastic upbringing, it turned out my Councillor didn't think I needed help with trauma just with stress. My description of my childhood led neatly into her recommendation, the regression therepy, she had a sense that the happiest time of my life had been as a child. In a nutshell the idea was that I be given the opportunity to act and be treated little again. To my growing sense of discomfort I was told this would include allowing myself to be looked after as a helpless child, which potentially meant things like being given baths, having help getting dressed or even having to wear nappies if the therepist thought it was nessicary for me to go back that far. 

After talking other with the Councillor, my work, my mother, my friends, the bathroom mirror and my cat (who didn't talk back. Sad) I eventually decided to to agree to it. I even got to have a telephone call with a former patient which was awesome because it helped assure me that the therepist was like a creep or something, it was genuine therepy. 

A breeze flapped at my scarf. I was getting kind of cold standing staring at the door. It was anxiety like I was experiencing now which had begun to effect my work. I remember one day simply not being able to pick up the thought anymore, I couldn't bare for it too be bad news from a site or an angry client or even just a fucking cold caller. My heart raced. 

'I don't have anywhere else to go.' I reasoned to mysf, steeling myself to opening the door. This was true. I'd got on a plane from Dublin this morning at my company's expense. I couldn't really just turn around and go back home. Not without plenty. I'd agreed to do this I had to do it! I wanted to get better. 

'one. Two. Three.'

*knock knock knock*

It was done. I prepared an anxious smile to greet my host. I really hoped I would only need to regress to like 12 years old or something. In reality I was 27, I didn't think I could bear the humiliation of being a baby again. 

"Hi. How are you?" I said In my Northern Irish accent, in English, no one actually speaks Irish. "I'm Jo. I'm here for the, er, therepy. I was told I shouldn't bring anything but I've got my handbag and a night bag with clothes and things. Uh. Is there a room I should put those in?" 

I knew I was supposed to be staying here during the course of the treatment so I figured I would have accommodation of some form or other. What I didn't realise was I'd been told to bring nothing because it would all be conviscated anyway. To be truly childlike was to be totally dependant on a care giver. That meant no phone, no money, no car keys, no passport, no make-up. Nothing of my own or from my adult life. 

[RegressionRevolution]

[oh embrassing. I'm sorry for the spelling mistakes but I'm glad you still enjoy the story intro.)

"um, sure. Here you go.“ I said, taking off my coat and then handing over my bag and then, at a gesture, my night bag. I was wearing black skinny jeans and a loose white shirt but surrending my bags felt like being undressed. My phone was in that purse!

“can I have my things back if I want them, like, if it's an emergency of something?" I asked as i followed him through the house, consciously stepping away from my bags.away from my world and into his. 

The house was nice. Spacious, like you on TV. British home tended to be smaller but the place was never the less homely. It wasn't like I'd be staying in a hotel. This was a real person's home. This was real. "Nice kitchen. My cousin has counter tops like that. You know I always kind of wanted metal cabinets like the 70's but I'm still saving. Kitchens are expensive huh?“ I attempted small talk. 

I completely missed the fridge magnets. I had friends and family who had kids. I guess in the back of my head I just thought Will had little kids or babysat. It didn't occur to me that they were for me, props in the therapy. 

The same nativity did not befall me after we entered a little girl's room and was asked if I wanted a nap. 

"oh. Ah, oh. Is this the therepy starting already? Sorry, this feels very sudden. I thought we'd have a cup of tea first and discuss roles or something first. Um, unless I'm supposed to take a nap first? Am I?" 

It was pretty obvious I was lost in this scenerio and in many ways that demonstrated exactly why I was here. I was unsure of myself, I needed guidence, I needed a Daddy to show me to confident in myself. 

I wondered over to the bed and clasped a hand over the safety rails. Incase I rolled out of bed? 

"It was a long flight." I admitted. "I guess I could do with a nap and then we could discuss the therepy like adults." I sat on the bed and looked back at Will. I expected him to leave the room and give me privacy. He didn't. 

I brought my knees together and looked down at my boots, thinking back to what my Councillor had said. Did he intend to help me undress?

"Will? I don't have any sleep ware, it's in my night bag." was I expected to nap in what I was wearing? 

 

 

[RegressionRevolution]

(I would like you to be in charge of deciding her age, if you don't mind?) 

I slipped in under the covers. I was enveloped in purple. It wasn't a deep purple like a Premier Inn (budget hotel) bed more like a soft lyliacs and lavenders. Also the duvet cover was patterned with galloping horses and prancing ponies. Very much suited to a young girl. 

"Thanks." I mumbled, feeling awkward as I was tucked in. 

When Will left and turned out the lights I noticed the soft glow of a night light, as well as the crack of light beneath the door and the pale silvery glow of daylight sieving through the drawn curtains. 

I tried to mentally map the house. Was this room at the front, the back or on the gable? Was it likely to be overlooking a garden or neighbouring property? I did not like the idea of neighbours looking in and seeing a grown woman staying in a child's bedroom. 

I closed my eyes to such distractions. The room was quiet. I could hear my breathing and indistinctly I could hear Will somewhere in the house. 

Uncomfortable, I squirmed under the duvet and unbottoned my jeans, peeling them down my legs and finally kicking them off my ankles and off the end of the bed. Awkward I arched my back to reach beind myself and under my blouse to unhook my bra but it was a stupid way of doing it. Better to roll on my front, which I did. Flopping around like a floundering fish, momentarily straight-jacketed by my own top as I worked within it, I eventually took off my bra, rethreading my arms back into the holes in my shirt. 

I moved to throw my bra out of bed and slapped my hand against the stupid safety rails I'd heard clicking into place earlier. I wasn't sure which hurt more, my hand or my pride. 

I unclenched the bra leaving it at the edge of the bed and recoiled myself into a fetal position, lying on my side. 

My thoughts raced with the myrid of possibilities of what was to come in the following days of therepy. As well as the momentarily panic as I realised I hadn't had a chance to remove my make-up so I was probably smearing a mixture of mascara, eyeshadow, foundation and blush across the sheets, as well as smudging my face. I quickly rolled onto my back to mitigate any further damage, frustrated I couldn't just reach for my handbag to grope for a compact mirror and some wet wipes. I fretted in the dimness of the room but ultimately sleep came to me quickly after hours of traveling. 

***

I didn't wake up again before Will came to wake me for the lunch he had prepared and not for my suddenly aching bladder either. 

My eyes fluttered upon to find Will standing over me. I remembered I was undressed to just a blouse and panties. I sought cover in the duvet but Will was peeling it away from me to help me out of bed. Well that was that then. I sat up and tried not to act as awkward as I felt. Will was cool as a cucumber. I guess that made me one of those spooked cats from the YouTube videos. 

I looked for my jeans but there were either down the end of the bed hidden from view or Will had already spirited them away. That ment I was going down to have lunch only half dressed? Admittedly I did that while I was by myself in the apartment all the time but never when in company! It was like in a film after the action hero and the femefatal have sex and suddenly are super comfortable with each other having supposedly broken the only significant barrier between them. Except this was wasn't a movie, I felt super awkward, I still had had millions of barriers up, I'd just met this guy. 

Obviously my mind was racing again. I struggled to find words. I knew I ought to something. Something like, 'Do you have my bra?' or at least 'good afternoon'. What I actually ended up saying was:

"Can I use the bathroom?“

[Baby Davie]

I need regression thereapy

[RegressionRevolution]

(Satisfactory :). Um, I was going to say Jo was average but let's make her petite. So 5'1 and 120 pounds. Easily mistaken for a teenager.)

"yes of course. Thanks. Um, see you in a moment." 

I was relieved when I was finally left to my own devices. My first instinct was to close the latch on the door but I discovered there wasn't one. I reasoned that was normal for a family bathroom in which you would never want your kid being able to lock themselves in accidently.

I settled for ensuring the door was firmly locked and then used the toilet. The adult one, not the pink training potty. I cringed imagining myself having to squat on that while Will looked on. 

I washed my hands and found some wet wipes to remove my makeup. I washed my face with a fannel and cold water. I looked fresh faced, my cheeks glowing from exfoliation. I didn't normly think I looked all that pretty without makeup but today the au natural look seemed to be a thing. It was a shame couldn't find a hair brush. 

Leaving the bathroom I padded barefoot across the landing back to 'my' room in my blouse and panties. 

"Hi." I lingered in the doorway before being beckoned. I trotted over to the bed where somethings had been laid out for me to wear. I was curious to see what they were as it was the first clue to what age I was going to be treated as first. 

 

 

 

 

[RegressionRevolution]

Arms up and blouse off. I was suddenly standing in front of Will wearing only my knickers. My bare beasts rose and fell softly with my slightly nervous breathing. Two fingers looped between the waist of panties and the warm flesh of my hips. It would have been kind of sexy in other circumstances but thankfully Will was very professional. He quickly helped me get dressed again in the pasta coloured panties and training bra before I obediently submitted myself having leggings rolled up my thighs and a comfy top and hoodie pulled over my head. 

"This isn't so bad." I said as I swept a hand behind my head to coax the fine link coloured strands of myhair out from the collar of the hoodie. "So how many years did I loose? Twelve? Fourteen?“ it was daunting to think I could have just lost half of my actual years. 

"Could I have a hair band or a booble please?“ I used to wear my black hair up or back when I was a kid. It would spoil my carefully layered adult style of my current haircut and fringe but in for a penny in for a pound, I may as well commit to the age regression thing now that I was here. Also, I couldn't help but think of the expense my company must have gone to pay Will's fees, which included purchase of multiple wardrobes in my size. 

We headed downstairs to share lunch. 

"So, can we talk about how this all works? I know there is more to it than just playing dress up."

[RegressionRevolution]

I've have green eyes. My mother told me that's pretty rare for someone with dark hair. Her eyes are hazelnut brown. My eyes widened as I was told how many years I'd lost. It was more than half my age, more than what I had been expecting. 

My knife eeked against the plate as I cut a corner off one of my triangles. I realised I hadn't said anything. I guess I was still processing. 

"Eleven. Okay.... So that means no driving. No to a load of movies. Um, no coffee I'm guessing?“

I'd drank a shitty filter coffee from a vending machine while waiting in the departure lounge this morning. If I'd been thinking about it being my last coffee for a while then I would have made the effort to get up earlier and put a special blend in the coffee machine before even leaving the apartment. 

"... Urm, what else? No swearing? Early bedtime? Urh, I don't have to go back to school do I?" I wasn't sure that was even ethically possible. I guess I could be home schooled or given homework or something. 

"What else?" 

I took a mouthful of toasted sandwich, it was pretty good. I'd worried American cheese would taste strange. 

"Okay. I'll do my best to try and behave like I'm eleven again, which by the way means you're gonna get sick of me talking about ponies. I used to be obessed... Er, I am obsessed?" 

"So what if I'm finding it hard to regress from my adult state of mind? I guess that's where you come in? And when does the therepy end? Do you think we could sort out my issues without have to regress further than eleven?“ I braced myself for uncomfortable truths. 

[RegressionRevolution]

I nodded in acquiescence at his ultimatium and then picked up the rest of my toasted sandwich. 

"Do I call you Will or Daddy? Do I have to call you Daddy in public?" not that Will was to know this but the word Daddy had special significance to me because I didn't have one. There were photographs of a man my mother loved and who was my older brother's dad but not mine. I'm been born via artifical ensemenation. I'd never had a father figure growing up. With help from mother and an online help group, I managed to find and contact the donnor in my twenties. I flew to Brimingham to meet him and my 'other' brother and sisters. Scariest and strangest day of my life but end of one chapter and the start of a new one. It turns out they are really nice. I go on a short holiday with them once a year. 

Maybe Will did know all this? It was probably in my therapist's report. Maybe that's why I was placed with him and not a 'mommy'? Maybe I'd never really closed that chapter of my life after all, the dog ears and creases from revisiting the pages would always mean my book opened most naturally at my loneliest hours. Wow, that was a sad thought. 

I was clearly looked pensive, munching slowly on my lunch in a distracted fashion. 

"May I have a glass of..." I was going to simply ask for water but I reminded myself I was eleven now and my eleven year old self would have always pushed for the best. "... Can I have cola?" I may not have been allowed coffee but I could still have the teeth rotting sticky sweet caffinenated alternative right? 

While Will/Daddy rose to find a glass I stood and took my plate to the sink to rinse off the crumbs and poured a little dish washing liquid on the to break up the grease. 

I scrubbed the plate slowly and for longer than it needed but listening to the sound of running tap water and focusing on making circular scrubbing motions was a good way of putting any more depressing thoughts out of my mind.  I thought instead about my eleven year old self, what she used to do and how I could become her. 

"Hey Will?“ I had eureka moment. It was so good I was actually smiling, the red of my lips complimented by red hoodie. I remembered the crazy which had dominated the nation at the time. At that age I was still in primary school (I think roughly equvilent to elementary school or possibly junior high, in the USA) over the course of a couple of weeks suddenly there were no longer children running around the school yard, instead we were all huddled in groups of friends. Some people might be swapping trading cards. Some girls might be showing off a plushie or branded pencil case. Or most covetous of all, we'd be crowded behind someone holding a GAMEboy, listening to the medi tunes from the game and squinting to try and a good view of the game. A game I wouldn't have to myself until my birthday that year. 

"Do you have Pokemon!?" I almost couldn't bare to be let down. 

[RegressionRevolution]

"Pokemon is amazing." I corrected him flatly. In truth I'd lost interest as a teenager and not played any of the newly released Pokemon games as an adult but did have an Evee (the most adorable of all the Pokemon) plushie which a friend had gifted me and I'd held on to. 

With a gleefully smile I accepted the coke and we went through to the living room with Will. "Thank you. I won't spill it." it was nice to be spoiled but it was also a little humiliating to be belittled. Of course I wouldn't spill the glass, I was only pretending to be a kid after all, or was I expected to knock it over as part of the roleplay? I suspected I simply supposed to feel like I wasn't trusted like an adult. 

Will set Pokemon up for me. 

I was expecting to be given a handheld console, and I was, just not the one I was expecting. I gasped in suppose, exhilarated. I was holding a Nintendo Switch, with Pokemon Go Evee (the latest game) set up to play on the TV screen so that Will could watch. 

"oh this is so cool. Look it's Evee! My favourite." I squealed in delight as I selected the female Pokemon trainer character (who also happens to be 11) and an adorable Evee bounced up on to her hat to ride around as she walks. 

The new game and controls were new to me but the fame was effective a remake of the same game I'd played as a kid, just with new graphics rendering adorable Pokemon in 3d. 

"This is so cool." I repeated. In the game my character started to explore the first village. Whilst I myself tucked my legs under myself and got comfy on the sofa with Will. 

I played for 2 hours with no sign of wishing to quit. I asked (sans, forced) Will to help me name new Pokemon I caught and I discovered he could join me in the game to play cooperatively. 

I paused the game. I'd been feeling my bladder grow irritated by the coke for some time and Will had probably noticed me crossing my legs and fidgeting. 

"um, I'm going to the toilet. Is there one downstairs? Afterwards do you wanna play more Pokemon or do something different?“ after being sat down I kind of fancied stretching my legs and going for a walk to see the neighbourhood but I didn't voice that suggestion because I realised it might be awkward given how I was dressed. I wondered if it was obvious I was dressed as a kid? Maybe not, but I didn't doubt Will would say something embrassing to me in public in his role as 'daddy'. 

[RegressionRevolution]

I rolled my eyes at Will's Evee question. 

"Yeah, of course I like Evee. She's the cutest. Um, I don't like any of the evolutions as much, I prefer that Evee stays little... Kind of like me." I blushed a little at my own expense. 

After being directed to the downstairs toilet, I was called out on my evasive behaviour. I guess there was no secrets from a trained therepist. 

"uh, well, I was thinking since it's still daytime it might be nice to go out for a walk. You could show me around the neighbourhood." I paused and looked down at my grey leggings, wondering what footware appropriate for an eleven year old I would be presented with. "it's just that I know I'm supposed to be eleven now but I'd be worried about what your neighbours might say and think if they see me dressed or acting like kid." I looked up at Will. I assumed I wasn't his first patient. Presumably he'd been on walks with other regressed adults and had advice. 

I went to the toilet as directed. After washing my hands I marvelled at my appearence in the mirror for a moment. I did feel like I looked younger. Maybe it was the absence of makeup. Maybe it was the clothes. Maybe it was purely a state of mind thing? 

I adjusted the shiny red hairband with a little bow on one side that I'd been given earlier and bounced back out to the living room to see what Will had in store for us. I was ceelung6full of energy and life. 

[RegressionRevolution]

I showed Will my hands and nodded. Of course I'd remembered, I was eleven, not five! I didn't need any help in the toilet. Never the less I kind of liked being belittled by him with little thoughtful comments like that. 

"The white ones please." I requested and sat down on the floor. Will put the sneakers onto my feet but I was allowed to lace them up by myself. "These aren't going to have lights, or roller heels, or some other kiddie gimmick, are they?" I asked suspiciously but they genuinely were just plain sensible sneakers. The kind of casual wear any eleven year old would wear. They were comfy too, a good fit. 

We left the house and walked alongside Will. I had no idea where anything was so obviously I had to let him take the lead. 

"It feels weird not having a handbag or at least my purse with me." I told him in a hushed voice. I felt the compulsion to check my phone but obviously I didn't have it with me. I wondered if I had any messages? I had told pretty much everyone I was taking a sabbatical. 

[RegressionRevolution]

"I'm excited to find out what my surprise is. Is it something spontaneous or something you planned?" I wondered aloud. It was a warm enough afternoon that I didn't need more than my hoodie. I was rested from my nap and the sneakers felt light on my feet. I bounced energetically on the balls of my feet. I felt hyped, like I did before before going for a run but of course I wasn't going to break into a jog a leave Will behind. Especially due to my unfamiliarity with the area. There were little things amiss which added to sense of being in a strange place. Cars driving on the other side of the road. Mail boxes on posts at end of the drive. Things you didn't see in the UK. 

"I have two answers. When I was little, I used to say my favourite colour was white, because you can draw over it and I suppose if you filled it in completely it can be whatever colour you fancy. I think that's a kind of philosophy which must have stuck with me growing up. My vocation is the arts." I wondered if I was supposed to talk about my grown up life? Things like graduating art college and my career. Prohaps that would be out of character? I continued my answer from Eleven year old Jo's perspective. "Now I say that my favourite colour is green. I know that sounds a little cliche coming from an Irish gal but it's true. I like colour of sea glass on the beach, the colour of hills where the hares frollick and... hmm?" I paused, wondering how to finish. "... the colour of old dusty reading lamps in Trinity Library." I laughed, pleased with my own poetic prowess. " what about you Will? What do you like?“

[RegressionRevolution]

"Now your keeping me in suspense! No fair. I'm sure it must violate some international Human Rights Law. Something like, the convention against kidnapping information conducive to the excitement of a little girl. Or something." I knew I was talking nonsense I just wanted to see if I could be cutsie enough to break Will's silence on our destination. 

" Turquoise is pretty." I nodded in agreement, thinking of gemstone jewellery. 

" um my favourite stuffed animal as a kid was definitely my floppy rabbit toy with a lavender dress. I used to play with it a lot. I don't remember when I got rid of it. It might even still be at my Mum's house somewhere in the attic." I tried not to imagine my precious childhood toy nesting baby spiders and covered in dust and webs. I felt my stomach drop as I experienced a sense of shame in having abandoned my toy, rather than continuing to cherish and look after it. I guess it was just a consequence of growing up. Which was ironic given my current circumstance. 

I looked at Will uncertainly as he took my hand and held my loose for a moment before coupling it with his. To be honest I was taken off guard. He had asked. I suppose he didn't need to ask, he's supposed to be my Daddy in this roleplay therepy, not my date. I blushed a little and looked around to see if anyone was staring. Was eleven years old too old to have your hand held crossing the street? I was certain it was old enough to complain about it in any case. 

"Will. People might see." I whispered, hushed but urgent. It illected no response, Will continued to hold my hand while we were on the other side of the street. I tried to act my age, if anything it would give me some camouflage, people might actually mistake me for a wayward Eleven year old rather than an adult woman being regressed. 

"Dad-d-dy!“, I whined and blushed furiously as I called him it. " I'm not gonna run away. You don't have to hold my hand."

 

[RegressionRevolution]

I pouted. I wasn't even putting it on to appear cute, I was genuinely vexed at Will reversing my sassy comment in order to tease me. "hmmpf. Are we nearly there yet? You said it was near by." I still couldn't guess what the supprise was and I suspected Will might be even more excited about it than I was. He must have been looking forward to seeing my reaction.

"um, she was just called Bun-bun I was only five when I got her. I was very imaginative when it came to naming things." I admitted meekly. 

 

 

[RegressionRevolution]

I open my eyes and blink at the array of brightly coloured tubular metal structures rising like the ribs of a shipwreck from a calm sea of rubberised play surface. 

"Its a play park." I announce softly with an air of uncertainty and take a tentative step forward. 

My brain begins to sort and categorise the structures before be. One by one old aquitences make themselves know to me. There is a slide, swings, monkey bars, climbing frame, a fire man's pole, a seesaw and those rocking springy things for very little children. 

I look at the swing and then back at Will. 

"Will you push me?“

My hair streams behind me and I laugh for joy as I'm propelled forward and up towards the clear blue sky before gripping the chains a little tighter as myself feel myself pendulum back towards the ground again. Old muscle memory reawaken and my legs swing forward and folded back beneath the rubber seat to throw my weight back and forth for extra momentum.

Eventually I weary. My legs stop kicking. Will spots this and stop push against my back. I let my sneakers scrap against the ground and come to a stop. 

"That was fun. What now?“ I ask, as I stand my feet are a little wobbly. I'm a bit dizzy from the rush of the swing.

I used to go the park with my friends all the time when was eleven. Though less for excited play like when I was a little kid, a more simply as a place to hangout since it centrally located between our houses, the shops and the school. Never the less, even as an older kid I still loved to swing. It was revitalising to get the chance to do it again as an adult. I wondered why I didn't just pop round to the park for a swing after a stressful day at work? 

 

 

[RegressionRevolution]

Since he'd made a challenge of it I had to prove to Will I could beat the monkey bars. In truth it wasn't it wasn't difficult. I was slim, so I waa easily able to hold my own body weight and in any case my feet were only a foot from the ground if I did fall. I swung along them fairly quickly but still felt exhilarated after finishing the task from the slight burn in my arm and shoulder muscles. It was like a day at the gym. 

"Watch me do the slide." I said, tugging down my shirt and hoodie where my midrift had become exposed before jogging off towards the slide.

The slide was incorporated into the climbing frame. I had to scale a short climbing face up to a platform first. This was easy because I was big enough to streach up to a high foothold and clamber up in the minimal amount of moves. It was a good thing I was eleven and not younger, I had an awkward vision of Will electing to help me up, hands on my bum, pushing me up the climbing face and ready to catch me if I lost balance. 

Once I was on the platform there was a tunnel I had to crawl through to get across to the second platform where the top of the slide was. Luckily the was constructed tall and wide enough for adults to reach into and extract their kids, otherwise I might have had to go prone and squeeze through on my stomach like G I Jane on the assault course. Instead I was able to crawl through on my hands and knees, which inevitable had me thinking about what my psychologist had warned, the possibility of being regressed back to a toddler or a baby. I pretty sure I wouldn't need to go back that fair, from the fun I was having so far it seemed like I was making good progress as an eleven year old. 

When I reached the slide Will was waiting at the bottom. I pushed myself down. The leggings I was wearing were great for sliding, they offered little resistance against the cool smooth steel of the slide. I went up and down three more times before deciding I'd played enough for one day. 

"Will? I'm thirsty can we go back and get something to drink please?“

[RegressionRevolution]

I was annoyed that Will insisted on holding my hand again on the walk home as if I was a little kid but said nothing because the surprise had been wonderful, so I was willing to show some appreciation and be a 'good girl' for him. 

"I would like apple juice please." I answered when we were back in the open plan kitchen. It was quite a novelty to pierce the foil carton top and sticking the juice through a straw, causing that obnoxious slurping sound at the end as the drew parts air and parts liquid. I don't think I'd had a carton of juice in literally years. The last thing I'd drank with a straw had been an iced coffee. 

"Do you recycle these?" I asked holding my collapsed juice carton and wondering where the relevant was. In N.Ireland we were supposed to recycle most of our household waste, so we had five small colour coded bins for different items. 

After getting a drink I went back to playing Pokemon Go Evee. After a couple of hours Will got up and started to prepare dinner for the two of us. I lazily stayed glued to the TV rather than offering to help with the preparations as was my inclination. I had no idea that tomorrow Will intend to regress me even further, so I was missing out on the opportunity to be trusted to chop things unsupervised. Speaking of supervision, since the house was open plan, Will was able to keep an eye on me as he cooked. He noticed as I took myself discreetly off to the toilet again to relieve my small bladder. 

[RegressionRevolution]

"you want me to get ready for bed this early!" I exclaimed around a mouthful of salad. I glanced towards the window. It was starting to get dark, so couldn't use the excuse that it was still bright outside. "hmmm okay but only if I get to pick the movie?“ I bartered. As I took a sip of water from my glass I wondered what the consequences of me saying no would be? We hadn't really talked about punishments for disobedience. I was overly worried though because I knew I could always use my safe word to end the treatment if I wanted to. 

I cleared my plate because the meal was tasty and not overly filling, it was just right. Afterwards I helped with washing up but it really just a case of rinsing our plates prior to Will placing them in the dishwasher. "I wanna watch 'Fly Away Home'." I announced as I dried my hands with a tea towel. It had been my favourite film when I was younger, obviously I couldn't recommend one of the adult films I enjoyed. 

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face while Will picked out something for me to wear to bed. 

"have you got some hair elastics?" I asked him upon my return the bedroom. I'd taken off the hairband I'd been wearing and I was hoping to put my hair into two braids instead. My mother had always recommended doing it. It stopped the hair pulling if I lay on it as I slept, reduced tangles from tossing and turning and it also made the hair a little wavy after undoing the braids in the morning, which was pretty neat. 

[RegressionRevolution]

My pyjamas were girly. Once again I was looking my assigned age. I did have to admit the clothes were cute, I was happy to indulge Will and be his 'princess'. 

Obediently I sat cross-legged in front of Will. I'd already settled into the submissive role of child. It was easier to follow instructions than to have to act on my own initiative. It was also convenient to have things done for me, such as the chores of dressing and undressing. In that regard I was like a princess, I barely had to lift a finger. 

"just in two plaits please, back or front, doesn't matter. Do Americans call them plaits or braids?“ I was could easily braid my own hair fairly quickly but it was therapeutic to allow someone else to coax their fingers slowly through the tresses of my hair, gently stroking my head as they worked. 

Fly Away Home was avaliable on Netflix. I teared up during the opening scene of the car crash and Amy waking up to realisation she'd lost her mother, all to the music of '10,000 miles'. It was heartbreakingly sad but I managed not to cry because I knew the film had a happy ending. 

After my hair was done I tucked my legs underneath me and leaned back to cuddle against Will's chest. The initial melencholy tone of the film gave way to optimism as Amy's geese hatched. 

"Aww, look. They are so cute and fluffy.“

I smiled to myself at familiar jokes and took joy in the triumphs of the characters. Eventually it wound around the ending, in which Amy has to leave her Dad behind to lead the geese on the last section of their journey to sanctuary. It's an emotional scene and the "farewell" lyric of the song from the start now playing afresh seems especially poignant, embued with a newfound sense of hope for future. A little pathetically I cry as the credits roll, overwhelmed by the endeavour we've watched. 

"sorry." I sniff and try to wipe a few stray tears off from my cheeks with the back of my hand. It might have seemed like I was upset but I'd actually really enjoyed the film. 

[RegressionRevolution]

"goodnight." I reciprocated feeling contented from the TLC of watching a movie together. Although I was relaxed, I found it impossible to sleep so early. I lay staring up at a purple illuminated ceiling, wishing for sleep but the more I became preoccupied with it the more futile it felt to close my eyes and try to drift off. 

Eventually I threw off the duvet and got put of bed. I'd had an idea on how to keep myself occupied until I felt tired. Earlier I'd played 'Pokemon Go Evee' on the Nintendo Switch with Will but the console itself was portable and gad an integrated screen, so I'll be able to play it quietly in my room. 

I opened my bedroom door slowly but it still creaked obnoxiously. I tiptoed along the landing, the lights were out and everything had strange otherworldly look to it, distorted by the darkness. I very much felt the excited nervousness of a kid who knows they are doing something they probably shouldn't. 

I crept down the stairs. I could see there were lights on in the living room. My heart pounded in my ears. 

Will looked straight at me. It was unavoidable, I couldn't pretend I wasn't there, I had to acknowledge him. 

"Um. I had to go to the bathroom. And now I'd like a glass of water please?“, I lied quickly. 

Ultimately I was sent back to be. I did eventually fall asleep. Ironically I didn't wake up by myself the next morning, Will had to wake me. There was a time difference between the USA and Ireland, so my body clock was out of sync. 

"Morn'in." I mumbled bleary eyed and yawned sitting up and waiting to see what will had in store for me today. 

 

[RegressionRevolution]

(no worries. I think I was a couple of days without replying anyway.)

I nodded wearily to Will's suggestions and rubbed sleep from my eyes. "what time is it?" I asked him. I was curious to know how long I'd slept. It felt like very little but it was likely just my internal body clock being out of sync. 

Elbows on the kitchen table, I cradled my head in my hands for a moment, willing my tiredness to go away. The sleepy feeling made me think of days I'd go into work early to try and get ahead on a project I was stressed about, only to be unproductive and waste the extra hours because I hadn't rested properly. 

"Day two. I feel tired but I think it's just jet lag. Coffee would help...?“ I let the suggestion hang for a moment but I was met with a frown. " um the Regression therepy thing is going good so far. Your good at it, like, taking care of me and making it feel real, not just pretend." I smiled bashfully and looked down at myself. I was still dressed in the 'princess' shirt and the pink pyjama bottoms, with Will speaking to me like an adult on level terms, I felt momentarily like an adult wearing kids clothes, rather than the young girl I'd been last night snuggling up to watch a movie. "yeah, it's nice being looked after. Really. I appreciate it." I looked up from my breakfast wondering if I was supposed to say more? Was this an impromptu counciling session or just Will checking up on me? 

“I'll take orange juice, thanks." I began cutting into my meal. "You know this is what they call a half English breakfast. It's missing sausage, tomato, beans and black pudding. Then, we're I'm from you'd have an Ulster fry, which is the same but you substitute the pudding for fried soda bread and potato bread." 

[RegressionRevolution]

"I can make soda bread." I said brightly. "it's really easy and it's not proofed or baked." it hadn't occurred to me until that moment that the very thick farls of milk butter dough were basically a flatbread. "I can make drop scones to. Do American people eat scones?" I asked. I'd been shown how to make both the savoury and the sweet breads on a traditional iron gridle above a lit harth. It had been on a school trip to the 'folk musem' as an eight year old, in which we got to visit recreations of 20th century townhouses and farm cottages, including actors in period costume. 

I smiled wryly at the tea question "I hate to confirm that English stereotype but it does extend to Ireland. Everyone drinks tea." my smile turned mischievous as I thought of the character Mrs. Doyle the house keeper from the Irish comedy show 'Father Ted'.

"Won't you have a cup o' tea Father? Ah, go on. Don't be silly now, go on. Ah go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. G'won. G'won. G'won." I impersonated the Mrs Doyle character in a thick Southern Irish accent, the repetition getting faster and faster until the words 'go on' fused into one as if by centrefugal force. 

"I wish I has my phone and I could show you clips from that show, it's very funny. Um, I suppose the prohibition on coffee extends to tea as well?“

Once our hearty breakfast was finished it was finished it was time for Daddy to help me get dressed for the day, so I followed him back upstairs. "I'm excited to see what outfit you'll pick out next." I told him with excited optimism. 

[RegressionRevolution]

"These are cute." I comment on the clothes. They were certain like something you would find when shopping in the kids section of a clothing store. 

"I'd prefer to wash now if that's okay?“ I said as I raised my arms to allow my shirt to be pulled over my head. Bathing in the morning would be closer to my usual routine, although I made a point of only washing my hair ever other day as overwashing hair stripped out the natural oils. 

Standing in just my underwear I looked like a woman. My curves weren't disguised my clothing. Of course, as it happened, I looked like a women wearing children's underwear because that's what Will had given me to wear. 

"Can I go and wash myself or will you draw me a bath? 

[RegressionRevolution]

It was a bit like an embrassing dream to walking along the landing of someone else's house totally in the nude, I felt like the house had eyes. It was different being nude in front of Will because the niggling back of mind reminding me of modest was overruled by my focus on playing the role of a child. A child doesn't show modesty, they are innocent in that regard. Thus I recognised that Will's participation in treating me as a child was an emotional crutch which reinforced my own acceptance of my role. 

In the bathroom I moved to draw a bath and realised that as with the sink, it had a single mixture tap, so I was able to leave one hand under the stream of water whilst adjusting the lever until I had a nice temperature and just leave it to fill whilst I coaxed my hair out of the twin braids Will had tied in on last night. This was a small luxury I wouldn't have had back home. Like most homes in the UK I had two faucets on my bath. One for hot water and one for cold water. The result of which was having the keep dipping a hand or a toe into the filling bath to see if the bath was too hot or too cold and having to adjust one tap or the other trying to find a balence. There was nothing worse than running a bath and trying to add some hot water at the end only to find there was no hot water left. 

I bathed slowly, enjoying the pleasant sensation of being emersed in warm water. For effeciency I usually took a shower before work in the mornings but I figured I was essentially on holiday so it was worth treating myself. After a while if soaking I reminded myself Will would be waiting for me, so I sat up and washed myself more dutifully, wishing my upper half could sink back into the water again. 

I emerged from the bathroom with a long towel tucked at bodice and small towel wrapped around my hair. There was no water dripping from me onto the carpet as I walked along the landing to the bedroom, I'd dried myself but my long hair would need a blow drier to do it quickly and skin was still moist to touch and sweetly fragranced. Will had had the kind sense to buy some feminine shampoo, conditioner, bath soak and salts for me to use rather than making to with the male branded equivalents. 

"I'm ready to get dressed." I was feeling self pleased about submitting myself to being helped to dress by Will again. It turned a daily chore into something socail. "What will be doing today?"

 

 

[RegressionRevolution]

7"Squeaky clean." I reported happily, blushing slightly as my towel was gently pulled away. Thankfully Will had prepared clothes so I was able to redress quickly. 

"How will I be treated differently as a nine-year-old? “ I asked as I stepped barefooted into a streached pair of pastel panties, my hands on Will's shoulders like a little child supporting themselves. I wondered why I was being regressed further? I'd thought being eleven-years-old again had been going great but I reasoned that Will was the specialist in this, he would be making the best judgements on my behalf. I simply had to trust him. 

The grey leggings and bright shirt combo was a pretty contemporary look in my opinion. Not unlike something you might see a celebrity wearing casually but prohaps a version with a lower cut neckline and no frills at the hem. 

"A board game? But its sunny outside. Can't we go out and then come back and play a board game in the evening?“ I asked contrarily. It so happened that I liked board games, it merged a slightly needy side of me with my competitive self. Never the less outdoors and excersise were a greater passion. 

"Have you got any grocery shopping to do? I realise it sounds mundane but I'd quite like to see a Walmart or one of those other megastores while I'm here. I've only ever heard about how big they are."