The Ex-Girlfriend (Private for CallMeJosie)

[FalloutZone]

Bridget had pretty much giving up all hope in her life.  

She didn't have much money nor did she have a job and the jobs that she did manage to get were far and few between working in bars late at night which always meant trouble one way or another and while she could manage herself a little at the start she just couldn't now. 

Bridget was small in size and height. 

She was barley five foot.

Everywhere she went people thought she was a kid more often or not.  It was one of the things that upset her the most was whenever anyone thought of her as anything but a kid and yet it also caused her the most pain.  Bridget often thought of her ex-girlfriend and how she had reacted to her secret. 

It hadn't been pretty and she had exploded at her for even wanting her to be a baby but that had been years ago now and she had time to reflect on her behaviour and everything that had happened between them.

She almost had to much time to reflect on the past yet she pushed her guilt and regret aside knowing that there was no real chance she would see her ex again after so many years. Was she doing well? Her ex-girlfriend? Was she in love? In a relationship? Happy? Bridget hated thinking about her but truthfully her ex had been the only person in her entire life that cared and possibly even loved her. Deep down Bridget still longed for her but knew that she was just to far messed up and no one deserved to put up with her demons especially someone that she had been so cruel towards even if it had been in the heat of the moment.

Bridget had amazing emerald eyes that had the faintest shade of blue and long reddish brown hair that could rival a lion's mane if it wasn't so dirty and greasy yet she rarely cared about her appearance or the way she looked now. There wasn't any point in keeping clean nor tidy. It wasn't as if she had a job to go to or a girlfriend to be with.

In her hand was a half empty bottle of booze that she nicked off some other stupid homeless person. 

It was a horrible thing to do but she had managed to kick him hard in the balls in the soup kitchen and that was enough for the staff to kick her out and for her not to get any food but she didn't really care that much about it. 

When was the last time she cared about anything really? She just wanted to find a nice place to sit in an alleyway and waste her time watching the world go by that was all. 

She had drinking about two bottles of beer earlier before entering the soup-kitchen and this would be two an half.  Bridget was a light-weight and enjoyed that fact about herself immensely it meant she didn't need a lot to get buzzed at all! Bridget was wearing a simple sleeveless black hoodie rough and tattered while her jeans were ripped and her shoes were filthy and broken.  She looked like garbage and she felt like it too.

Her hands were sore from the cold and fight she just had. It was getting colder and it was much more closer to winter which meant that it was going to be harder for her to live as she currently was doing. Jobs would be slightly easier to find but that wouldn't be enough this time around and while she could try and find a empty building she knew that most would already be taken up by groups of people she didn't want to associate with anymore. 

Bridget knocked passed a woman without noticing nor caring yet her eyes did linger on the woman.  She knew her? Yet she couldn't recall her? In her drunken state her memory was nothing short of terrible and she had lost the will to care about anything even herself so why did it matter? Why was her eyes still lingering? Why couldn't she recognize this woman? She knew this woman! Yet nothing came to her and suddenly the need to drink came to her strongly.  It couldn't be her? Could it? Even if it was her ex-girlfriend there was no real point in talking? There was nothing that could be said or done between them that would good for either of them, right? It was best to ignore and move on.

The wind blew and Bridget shivered like a stray kitten before turning away from the woman who she wanted to reach out for but didn't partially out of guilt and regret and partially because she didn't even feel as if she deserved to talk to her.

Bridget drank the entire liquid that was in the bottle without even breathing or taking a break.  Hunger and thirst.  Her body craved nourishment badly and yet she ignored her body and what she needed using any money she had on drugs and booze to fulfill her yet knocking that much booze back so quickly wasn't good and she could feel her head thumping with energy almost as if it was having a party all by itself or trying to explode.

Closing her eyes for a moment Bridget tried to get herself together a little as she continued to walk the cold getting to her more as she slowly walked only to stumble and fall onto the ground. The bottle smashing down on the ground near her head as pieces of glass glistened on the concrete floor near her head.

Pain shot through her ankle from the fall as her body shivered terribly. Bridget despite fighting always had a problem with physical pain and had a very low pain tolerance. She would always try to end a fight quickly not wanting to get hit back or hurt at all knowing that if anyone saw her cry they would instantly use that against her but normally she would run away before anyone could actually see her cry.

Her entire body felt exhausted and she couldn't find the strength to lift herself up off the ground.

Bridget soon enough closed her eyes shut.  The level of alcohol she had consumed was to much for her small body and without eating correctly her body wasn't working the way it should be working.
 

[CallMeJosie]

Mia pulled the jacket tighter around her, the autumn night had taken a bit more of a chill than usual. The ground was wet from the recent rainfall and in this part of town
there was some litter and the brown/red leaves that usualy signalled Autumns arrival.

The twenty four year old had her brunette hair trapped in a pony tail, her sneakers and jeans along with her leather jacket were not the usual attire for the buissiness executive
however an after work trip to the gym downtown had given her the oppurtunity, she was on her way back to her car cursing the gym's lack of available parking as she made the trek down several blocks
when she tripped into her.

It took a moment to recognise her under the filth but there was no dsiguising Bridget even when she turned on the spot and downed the whole of whatever beverage she was holding.

Mia rushed forwards to pick the unresponsive girl off the floor, "Bridget can you hear me?" she asked wondering what she was doing for the woman who had so clearly and effectivly ripped out her heart and stamped on it all those years ago and while she had moved on to other relaptionships she never was able to see a future with them like she was able to with Bridget.

[FalloutZone]

Everything felt fuzzy and she felt cold but she could feel heat.

She could feel someone picking her up?

Opening her eyes Bridget found herself unable to focus on anything.  Her vision was fuzzy.

Was she crying?

Tears ran down her face but she made sure to try her best to hide them away from Mia by turning her face away a little 

Hearing Mia's voice again sent shivers down her spine and she really didn't know what to do right now. Her ankle was badly hurt.

Bridget despite being intoxicated nodded, "Y-yeah I can hear you." she mumbled shivering.  What was going to happen? Her eyes felt heavy and she didn't feel good either, "You can put me down," she mumbled again yet truthfully she didn't want Mia to let her go but she didn't want Mia seeing her like this at all, "I-I'm fine." stammered Bridget despite the tears, her badly injured ankle and the fact that she was shivering and reeking of alcohol and weed.

A slight pain shot through her head due to the amount of alcohol she had drank moments ago causing her to wince and rub her forehead.  What was Mia going to do? Laugh at her? Mock her? Bridget allowed herself to glance Mia in the eyes before timidly looking away.  She didn't feel brave or confident at all.  She felt weak, "U-uh," stammered Bridget, "you can put me down and I'll just be on my way, okay."
 

[CallMeJosie]

"You are not fine, you smell like a brewery and not a nice one" Mia snapped back quickly remembering how stuborn Bridget could be and how endearing it was, all she wanted to do was take care of her back then and she was rejected for it and now she wondered why she was still bothering.

"If I put you down you wouldn't even be able to walk to the end of the street" Mia explained

"You have a choice, either let me take care of you or let me take you to a hospital which I'm guessing you can not afford" Mia said sternly trying to show there was no wiggled room as she began to walk carrying the homless bundle in her arms to her car.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget frowned and pouted at that and how quickly Mia snapped at her.  What was going on? Why wasn't Mia just leaving her be? Shouldn't Mia hate her guts? Bridget sighed, "Whatever I don't care." she mumbled at Mia's brewery comment but truthfully she did care yet she hated being seen as weak despite the fact she was at her lowest point right now.  

"Y-you don't know that! I might be able to walk just fine." argued Bridget weakly but she knew that Mia was right.  She felt just like a child right now in Mia's arms and with the way they were dressed didn't help either.

Bridget rubbed her head, "Obviously I can't afford to go to the hospital," snapped Bridget emotionally becoming a little upset at Mia, "why do you want to take care of me anyway?" asked Bridget confused and intimidated by how firm Mia had sounded just now.   Bridget shivered again as a strong cold breeze hit her and curled up against Mia a little seeking warmth from her ex-girlfriend.  What was going to happen? Why did Mia even care? Especially with what had happened between them?

 

[CallMeJosie]

"I'm not sure" Mia said "I showered you with love and affection you were my world and you rejected me" she said honestly.

"I had a kink and yeah it might not have been your cup of tea and that was all you had to say not remind me of what a freak I was" she said clearly venting a little "But I'm going to take you home, get you some medicine, some warm food in your belly and a place to sleep for the night so I don't have to live with whatever would happen to you If I left you in the street"

She took a whiff "And a shower, with the good stuff" the odur was clearly of someone who had been sleeping rough

She put Bridget in the backseat and fastened her seat belt "I'd apreicate it that if you need to throw up you try and get it out the window I would rather not have to get my var cleaned again so soon"

[FalloutZone]

Bridget almost whimpered at that.

It was true Mia had been very affectionate with her and loved her so much that sometimes that she would feel guilty or worried that she couldn't match Mia's devotion but she always did try to do her best despite feeling as if her best wasn't good enough.

Kink? Bridget tried her best not to sigh but she was lucky that Mia had only vented a little at her.  She had been mean and she had rejected Mia's kink and thus Mia but she never wanted to hurt her. That was the last thing she wanted to do. She loved Mia and still did deep down but the damage had been dealt and even if she could say sorry what would come of it? It wouldn't heal or fix anything. 

Bridget stayed quiet for the most part, "T-thanks." stammered Bridget.  Was Mia doing this because she cared about her still despite everything? Or was it as she said moments ago? Bridget said nothing as Mia did her seatbelt up and sat awkwardly in the backseat before nodding.  

Don't throw up.

She could do that.

"S-so what have you been doing?" stammered Bridget wondering if it was wise to talk to Mia or not?   She would leave in the morning. She didn't want to be a burden on Mia and she didn't want to cause any more pain.  How would she shower with her ankle as it is? It still felt painful and she was doing her best not to move it much at all.  Mia would have to help her but she didn't want Mia seeing her naked.  

She didn't look nice.

It also wouldn't be fair on Mia...

Bridget thought about Mia's kink a little trying to figure what to do. She didn't want to lead Mia on at all.  A sudden sharp pain shot through her ankle again causing her to cringe as she carefully moved it upwards and over her knee to take a better look at it.  Moving her jean leg up a little she could see a dark purple bruise forming.

[CallMeJosie]

"Work, graphic design you know....." Mia said softly when they were together in college it was what she was studying to do and even mentioning it upset her a little carear wise she was right where she wanted to be and further than she could have hoped she just wished that when she got there Bridget would have been by her side, seeing the once smart, brilliant funny young woman in this state was more than a little sad, she wondered if under all of this was the girl she fell in love with.

"How about you how did you end up here?" Mia asked not knowing if she just wanted to know about the bar or just since they last saw each other.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget sighed somewhat.  

Mia was a genius in graphic design and she always regretted never being by her side and seeing her grow in her work and as a person. It filled her with a sense of regret, longing and hurt but she only brought all that on herself.   She felt like a loser.

Bridget could feel her stomach twist and turn at Mia's question wondering how or even if she should answer that at all.

"It's complicated," she said, "stuff happened," paused Bridget uncomfortably, "you know my family well enough." she added with a shaky breath remembering how they wouldn't and would never take her back to the point that they wanted her as far away as possible from them even going as far to try and destroy her chances of ever getting a decent job.   She had applied to schemes, entry level positions in good companies and no one wanted her and she knew why, "I-I tried." stammered Bridget softly and much more timidly then normal.

It would be unfair to unload on Mia.

Bridget sighed.   

[CallMeJosie]

"Still on that bandwaggon huh" Mia said genuinly sorry for her, the one time she knew Bridget to ever stand up to her homophobic parents was when they tried to insult Mia.

"I always thought you would be better without them anyway, I take it your brother is still the second coming of whichever chosen one they are into these days" She said as she drove the car the area of town got nicer to the point where alone dressed as she was she would probably be questioned by the police and threatened with a loitering charge.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget let out a slight laugh at that, "Yeah."

She always wanted to be the perfect girl for her parents.

She had always wanted her mom and dad's attention yet that was never going to happen because they never wanted her not really.   She hadn't been planned and they had wanted another son not a daughter.   She was considered a bad omen to them and with her getting with Mia only prove that to be true, "Pretty much," she replied, "he was always the one they loved and liked," she continued, "I was nothing but a burden to be condemned." added Bridget joking slightly but she had been and still was terribly hurt by her family.

She had always wanted to be held and told that she was loved by her family.

It wasn't just disgust that she felt from Mia telling her about her fetish.  It was fear that Mia wouldn't love her any longer if she had decided to take part in her fetish.  Her parents didn't want her at all and the thought of being Mia's little baby girl only reminded her of what her childhood was like and she didn't want that again.

[CallMeJosie]

"Okay" Mia began with a sigh after pulling into her driveway

"I know this is awkward and you want to prove how you don't need help right now but I need to know if I let you out of this car are you going to be able to put any weight on that leg or do you need help" Mia asked having caught her looking down in the mirror however it wasn't at an angle where she could see the miscolourng on her leg.

"Just be honest and we can get you inside and get you some pain killers"

[FalloutZone]

Bridget frowned at Mia's sigh wondering if it might of been best to not of said anything at all to her former girlfriend.  

It would be silly not to ask for any help yet she didn't want Mia helping her at all! She didn't want to burden Mia and she still felt guilty over how their relationship ended, "I don't know," replied Bridget finding herself unable to lie to Mia completely as she squirmed a little, "I-I need to see if I can put any weight on it first and if I can then I don't need any help." she added trying to sound reasonable.  Would Mia accept such an answer?

Bridget felt confused about everything right now feeling similar to that of a naughty child as she undid her belt.  

[CallMeJosie]

"So that's a no you definetly need help than" Mia said shaking her head with a sigh as much as things had changed Bridget was still stuborn as ever. She knew that if there was any chance Bridget could put her weight on that leg that she would have argued up and down that she would walk on her own the fact that a maybe need help suggestion left her mouth let Mia know she was in no condition to put any weight on it.

"I'm going to help you inside and to the bath" Mia said coming around and opening the door "and if your venemous little tongue tries to speak before you can think, this is because you need this, I am not babying you and if you accuse me of taking advantage of you like that you will spend the night sleeping in the nursery in a big thick nappy, is that what you want?" Mia said trying to be firm and lay down the law before Bridget's pride can get the better off her as she picked up her smaller ex-girlfriend.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget grumbled in annoyance at that wishing that she had said no outright to any help or assistance, "I'll be fine." replied Bridget trying to sound and be tough but it came off more as a whine and whimper rather then anything firm.   Bridget sighed wondering how bad today and tomorrow was going to be for her with the knowledge that Mia was going to be around her like a hawk.   Would she be back on the streets tomorrow? Homeless? Bridget half hoped that she would be but couldn't ignore the twist in her stomach at all.  Would Mia even let her go tomorrow? Her ankle would take or need more then one day of rest but she could power through that easily.

Bridget ignored what Mia said and stayed seated in the car in annoyance as she watched her ex-girlfriend come around and open the door for her.  Looking up Bridget glared and frowned at what her ex had just said.   It took a lot of restraint for her not to attack Mia verbally, "No." hissed Bridget seething, "I just want to get out of here as quick as fucking possible." added Bridget snapping a little.    She knew that she had hurt Mia before and she could tell that Mia was still hurt now otherwise what was the point of bringing any of that shit up? She knew that they never got a chance to talk properly about everything though.  

Bridget wasn't so sure how real that threat was and despite everything didn't really want to push Mia over the edge at all partially out of guilt and partially out of fear.  She didn't want to hurt Mia again in any way possible and just being here was probably hurting Mia.  It was certainly hurting her.   The fear was from the thought of what if she did decide to push Mia's buttons? Would her ex really put her into a nursery and a thick nappy? Would she....like it?  That was one question she didn't and never wanted to find out not just due to her pride but the guilt she would feel would be unimaginable.

Bridget rested her head on Mia's shoulder as she was held and carried.   She glared as much as possible but couldn't deny that it felt nice to be carried and Mia felt so warm that it was hard not to cuddle up to her but she did her best not to do that knowing that it would be bad for her and Mia.   She needed to simply get this done and over with, quickly.   Despite her attitude she had always been very affectionate and open.  

[CallMeJosie]

"How much have you had to drink?" Mia asked as she carried her into the apartment and then softening her tone "I just want to know if we can get you some food without it coming back up" she said as she took her into the bathroom and began to fill the large tub adding a quick "I'm guessing a shower isn't possible huh"

She stood up and looked through her medicine cabinet and found some ibuprofen "Here this should help with the ankle" She said putting Bridget down on the toilet and handing her the medicine with a cup of water.

"It doesn't look swollen so I don't think you've broken anything but I guess there isn't really anything else we cn do for it except wait" Mia explained making efforts to not sound snappy or angry without falling into to sweet mothering.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget frowned a little and thought, "I-I don't know," she confessed, "not a lot or at least for me," pausing she thought over what Mia had just said about getting her some food surprised by the sudden softness in her voice, "I'm not sure." added Bridget quietly feeling a bit lost.  

She had expected Mia to stay firm and business-like.   She could deal with that. 

She wasn't so sure she could deal with Mia being soft towards her at all.  It made her even more regretful and to the point that she just didn't care anymore about Mia's fetish but that was something she wouldn't know how to deal with or cope.  Bridget imagined for a moment and knew that while she regretted everything that happened she just couldn't allow herself to be that open and weak otherwise she might break. 

Sitting on the toilet Bridget took the cup of water and medicine, "Thanks." she replied softly wondering how to deal with how she felt right now.  She wanted to run badly but she wanted to comfort Mia somehow and yet allow Mia to take care of her.   If it weren't for her pride and insecurity she would probably be a very happy babygirl, "Y-yeah," stammered Bridget trying to think, "do you work a lot?" asked Bridget trying to find a way to make this as formal as possible.  

Bridget's fingers tapped the cup slightly.  It had been and still was one of her tell-tale signs that she wanted affection.  It had been something she had picked up as a child and did whenever she wanted some form of affection from her parents.  It wasn't done knowingly at all and had been deemed annoying by many people but it was a habit and something that she couldn't stop.

[CallMeJosie]

"My schedule is solid for the most part, when a project is nearing deadline I get more hours but afterwards I get more time off so it ebbs and flows I suppose" Mia said unsure how to feel, she had a fetish and would have loved to have Bridget indulge her there was always something about her that bought out the Mommy side with her whether it be when she was doing well and they were together or even like this where she seemed so broken and just needed a hug.

"Bridge listen" Mia said stroking her arm and deciding it was time to do something to clear the air and something she should have done a long time ago "About what happened when we last saw each other"

"I forgive you" she said quietly but looked her in the eyes to let her know it was serious, she couldn't carry around that resentment anymore and it seemed like Bridget needed something anything to get her out of this weird two side headspace of I need help but leave me alone.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget nodded a little paying attention yet not paying any at all as her eyes gazed up into Mia's own before averting slightly offering her ex a weak smile, "That doesn't sound bad." she replied half-halfheartedly.   Bridget enjoyed the fact that Mia was doing well in her work and had her life together it made her proud yet it wasn't something she could say to Mia without crying or getting emotional.   It was unfair. 

Feeling Mia stroking her arm Bridget looked at her ex confused.  It felt nice.  Bridget's fingers stopped tapping against the glass she was holding.  

A sudden surge of fear filled here at the mention of the past wondering where this was going? Only to look at Mia in shock.    What the hell? Bridget was about to argue except seeing Mia look at her in such a way caused her to back down.   Mia forgave her? She couldn't understand? Why? It didn't make sense? Bridget's breathing became more heavy and quick-paced.  She wasn't going to cry...."I;m sorry for reacting the way that I did," said Bridget quietly, "I didn't mean to hurt you..." she paused, "I just felt scared." she added.

Mia's fetish hadn't outright disgust her but upon hearing about it she couldn't help but lash out due to her experience of childhood and why the hell she would ever go through that again admittedly she hadn't told Mia why....

Bridget wanted to just cling to Mia and cry but held herself back knowing that wasn't fair and it would just hurt more in the long run once she left tomorrow. 

[CallMeJosie]

"I know maybe I should have done a better job breaking it to you" Mia offered taking a sigh as she let go of some of the anger she had kept pent up, maybe with this behind her she could actually find a baby she had all of the stuff but could never force herself to commit to it always finding a reason not to go to an event, why this chat online wouldn't work out or something to keep her out of a lifestyle she had carried a torch for so many years.

"Look I know this next part might be awkward and don't worry I know you can bathe yourself but I think I'm going to need to help undress you and get you in and out of the tub, with how slippy it can get I don't think we should risk you putting all your weight on that leg" Mia explained as she turned the tap the steam rising from the water entering the large tub and begins to fog up the mirror.

[FalloutZone]

Bridget rubbed her eyes a little to get rid of her unshed tears not wanting them to fall right now, "It's okay." replied Bridget timidly not really wanting to think what would of happened if Mia had done a better job of breaking it to her.  Would she of run? Would she of ended up like this? In the back of her mind she knew that if Mia had been more gentle and less blunt that she would of likely allowed small elements of Mia's fetish maybe even more down the line.  She liked stuffed toys, she enjoyed bubble baths and she loved cuddling.  It wasn't worth thinking about now though.

Bridget blushed a little at that, "Makes sense," she mumbled, "uh...Mia what happens when I'm done? I-I could get out myself but if I can't even undress myself..."

Bridget's face turned a bit more red.  She felt helpless and she desperately needed someone she just wished it wasn't Mia but at least things seemed to have settled now.

[CallMeJosie]

"Look I'm going to have to help with that okay" Mia said rubbing Bridget's upper arm soothingly

"I have some clothes you can wear, not babyish I promise, but I need you to let go off your pride enough to let me help and not try and put any weight on ankle" in Mia's mind it was a simple case of getting her some pain pills and seeing if it had gone down at all over the night.

If it hadn't she would call her Doctor friend to come and take a look but she kept that part to herself after all Bridget was to proud for all this help the idea of a Dr would probably cause her to run even if her leg was removed in the process.

"Look it's not like we haven't seen each other naked before" she said casually

[FalloutZone]

Bridget breathed in heavily.  It felt nice Mia rubbing her arm like that and she missed Mia terribly but she needed to do her best not to put her or Mia in a awkward situation that neither of them wanted at all, "Okay," replied Bridget meekly only to blush, "it's different now though." argued Bridget softly knowing that there wasn't much of a point in putting up a fight against Mia yet she hated the idea of Mia seeing her naked.

If she wasn't homeless....it might of been okay but it wasn't.

Bridget didn't want Mia to see her how she looked now.  She wanted Mia to only remember the past her where she looked good.

"I just feel nervous." admitted Bridget.  She was more then just nervous but it was hard to admit her feelings out loud to Mia at all giving that deep down she still loved her despite trying her best to deny it and deny the fact that she was heartbroken which only caused her more pain each and every time.