Freshman Year

[Wannatripbaby]

He wheels you into class. There are several "normal" looking students as well as some with very pronounced disabilities. Including a girl in a wheelchair who, despite being older than you, has barely the mental faculties of a toddler.

[diaperedpup69]

I feel the whole class is staring at me. We are a hour late after all. I am reassure though that there are some students who 'look' like me. 

I look to brett. "I don't want to go."

[Wannatripbaby]

"It's alright. You're alright. Everything's going to be fine." He wheels you into place and the teacher continues teaching.

[diaperedpup69]

soft sobs. a few tears. First time I have been around these many people at one time. I was in therapy for about a month. I just recently got out of the hospital. 

The doctors said I was physically ready to go back to school with my peers. But mentally they had no 'medicine' answer, they said, "We won't know until we try it." 

 

Now here I am in the class. Confused. Scared. Alone? As these feelings of being in a room with my peers. These feelings overwhelm me. I try not to hold back. I try not to make scene. crying  a little more. 

[Wannatripbaby]

Brett motions for the teacher to continue with class and not draw attention to you. He rubs your back and whispers "It's okay. You're safe. I'm here. There's nothing to be afraid of."

[diaperedpup69]

I really like his soft touching and rubbing my back and whisper. I can't fall for him I tell myself. The wet tears run down my face. I struggle to wipe them.

"I'm sorry," i say. still a little sobbing "I can't help it." 

[Wannatripbaby]

"It's okay, buddy." He produces a handkerchief and wipes your tears away.

[diaperedpup69]

I try to calm down. Softly smile. I try to listen and understand what the teacher is saying 

[Wannatripbaby]

"There we go." He keeps his hand on your yours as class goes on.

[diaperedpup69]

Everything she says is a blur. She is teaching 9th grade math. Although I got a b- as a final grade last year. The damage to my brain is too much and I even struggle with subtraction 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Are you doing alright, Matthew?" He whispers.

[diaperedpup69]

"I don't understand a² + b²  = c²" 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Well here, let me help you." He explains it in a way he thinks you'll understand.

[diaperedpup69]

"I don't get it" I screamed maybe a little too hard. As some students looked over at us. The whole room went kinda silent. 

I was so nervous. I started to cry. Some of the older boys in the back laughed 

[Wannatripbaby]

Brett glares at the kids in the back that snickered. "It's alright. If you can't figure it out now we can work on it later, okay? Let's just move on for now."

[diaperedpup69]

Something didn't feel right. i just continued to cry. "Im sorry I am stupid. I'm sorry I don't understand."

[Wannatripbaby]

"Hey now, it's okay Matthew. Nobody thinks you're stupid." He looks at the teacher "I think our little friend here could use a few minutes." He whells you out of the classroom.

[diaperedpup69]

“Can we see nurse Jackie. This class is overwhelming”

Being around people just too much. Too much to fast. 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Okay. Let's go to nurse Jackie and say hi again." He begins wheeling you down the hall.

[diaperedpup69]

“I’m sorry for acting up” breaking the moment of silence between them. 

I just want to spend time alone with Brett get to know each other. Jackie seems cool too. I just don’t like her as much as I do Brett. 

As we approach the nurses station I got to thinking I wonder if he would do things that Justin does? 

[Wannatripbaby]

Seeing that you've calmed down a bit, he comes around in front of you before entering the Nurse's office. "Is there any particular reason you wanted to see the nurse? Because if not there are plenty of other places we can go to just chill and relax between class."

[diaperedpup69]

“I think I wet myself. I can’t feel it when I doz later I start to it. I’m sorry I feel ashamed talking about it”

[Wannatripbaby]

"There's no reason to feel ashamed. In fact it shows a lot of maturity that you can talk about it, Matthew."

[diaperedpup69]

I smile. I wish I could talk about how I feel about guys. Girls seem sweet but it is something about guys, I don't know. He'll probably freak. 

"Thank you." Is all I could say. 

[Wannatripbaby]

"You're welcome."

He wheels you in and Nurse Jackie comes over. "Back so soon?"