Isolation

[diaperedpup69]

Maddie gives a slight giggle. "Mmmmmm. Feels good." 

She lays down. Repeats to herself. "Maddie love feet. maddie love feet." 

[Wannatripbaby]

I continue to rub your feet with one hand and check your vitals with the other. "Everything appears to be good. You should try to get some rest, baby do you think you can do that for me?"

[diaperedpup69]

"I can try. Continue foot rub?"

 

Maddie closes eyes for much needed rest

[Wannatripbaby]

"Sure, baby." I sit on the bed and continue rubbing yoir feet until I'm sure you've fallen asleep.

[diaperedpup69]

Middle of the night, I wake up. Sweaty and coughing. “Im......” before i can say another word I puke. Puke all over me and the blankets. Maddie starts to cry. 

[Wannatripbaby]

I jolt awake and see what happened. "Oh dear!" I come over and pull you out of the bed. "It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'll get you cleaned up." I send for some nurses to handle the bedding while I take you into the bathroom to clean you.

[diaperedpup69]

"I'm sorry. maddie so so sorry." sobs. "I tried. I couldnt helpt. it. maddie too sick." crying. 

Sometime in middle of night maddie also pooped her diaper and didnt know. She cries even more. "I'm useless. I hate what they have done to me."

[Wannatripbaby]

"Awww, I'm sorry baby. But you have to go through this to get better." I take off your gown and start cleaning you off.

[diaperedpup69]

Maddie is shaking and cold. "Im a strong girl. i dont need your help." she tries to say. 

but everystep she takes. she feels more weak

 

[Wannatripbaby]

I let decide to let you try to help yourself. Knowing that your strength will fail any moment and when it does I'll be ready to catch you.

[diaperedpup69]

Maddie sitting on them edge of bathtub. Decides she can get up. I get up slowly and I feel dizzy. I prefer sitting. The room is moving. 

Before I can sit I slip and fall towards nurse beth. 

[Wannatripbaby]

I catch you. "Whoa, there! That was close. You could've been hurt, baby. You need to let me help you." I sit you down on the toilet and pull off your gown before starting to wipe you off. My plan is to deal with the puke first, then handle your full diaper.

[diaperedpup69]

My mind wants to be in control but my body is weak. "This is day 2 of chemo of 3 months. I don't know if I could do this."

Maddie is the middle child. She has a older sister who is 13 and a younger brother who is 2. "My family never has time for me." Maddie wishes she was treated like her younger brother. 

Out of nowhere as nurse Beth is cleaning the puke off of maddie. she says, "Alex gets all of the attention."

[Wannatripbaby]

"You're not gonna believe this, but I know exactly how you feel. I was a middle child as well. It felt like I was always the one making sacrifices so that my sisters could get their way."

Who would've thought we'd end up bonding over a shared Middle-Child Complex?

[diaperedpup69]

"yeah. Sarah is 13 and she is having her teenage moments. bring home boys she is dating. i feel it is like one every week. but i feel most jealous of Alex. who gets all the attention."

Cleaning me up.  a little slience, a sigh. "My mom is probably glad to get rid of me for three months. i know my sliblings are." I start to sob

[Wannatripbaby]

"Hey now, that is not true. Your family loves you and misses you. They wish you were home with them right now. They sent you hear because they love you and they don't want you to die."

"Now, how about we get you out of that old poopy diaper and into a fresh one, hmm?"

[diaperedpup69]

I sigh. Feeling like I can’t even change myself. I am so weak I require everything. But I wanted to be treated like Alex. 

“Sure. I stink.....um nurse Beth can I ask you a question?” 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Of course, what is it, baby?" I lay you down on the floor and begin changing your diaper.

[diaperedpup69]

“I was...um....wondering...since you know I won’t see my mom in awhile...if I could.” I struggle with words on how I want to phrase it but I just say it. “Can I Please If it’s ok with you call you mommy?” 

[Wannatripbaby]

I blink. I was not expecting that! What do I do? They did NOT teach me this in medical school!

But then again, is it really that big a deal? After all I've called her 'baby' several times. So her calling me mommy is the next logical step, right?

"Well, seeing as I'll be feeding you, bathing you, and changing your diapers. I guess 'Mommy' isn't such an inappropriate title, now is it?" I wink. "You can call me anything you like, Maddie." I wipe your butt clean.

 

[diaperedpup69]

"Thank you, Mommy." I enjoy the wipes on my butt. More I enjoy this attention. most attention i have got from anyone in awhile. "I'm sorry about the dirty diaper. i didnt even know i went while i was in bed."

 

[Wannatripbaby]

"You don't need to apologize, baby. You have no control over it right now. It's my job to take care of you and I don't mind changing your poopy diapers one bit." I smile at you and start to apply some lotion to keep rashes away.

[diaperedpup69]

The creme and the soft hands on my bum made me feel good inside. 

I sigh, "The creme feels really good mommy. ooooh no..." before maddie can say another word she moved her head to the right and threw up again.

I start crying, "Im sorry. these drugs make me so sick. im sorry." maddie continues to sob

[Wannatripbaby]

I move you away from the puke. "Hey now, it's okay. At least this time you got it on the floor instead of didn't all over yourself. It'll take me 30 seconds to clean that up. No sweat, kiddo." I tape you up into a fresh diaper.

[diaperedpup69]

Maddie lays down on the ground and closes her eyes. I woke up in middle of night to a poopy diaper and threw up twice. Maddie doesnt have much energy .