Isolation

[Wannatripbaby]

I lay you down in the tub and get a bucket and start filling it with warm water. "Let's get those socks off." I pull your right sock off followed by your left. "You have the cutest little toes!" I say taking your big toe between my gloved fingers and wiggling it a bit.

[diaperedpup69]

*bluhes* "ooooh that tickles  a little." maddie lets out a litttle laugh. "My feet are very ticklish" first time all day maddie has smiled 

[Wannatripbaby]

Seeing her smile almost made me want to weep with joy. And I never weep for anything! "You have the most beautiful smile, Maddie."

[diaperedpup69]

“Well I really like it when you touched my feet. I couldn’t it” 

 

[Wannatripbaby]

Note to self: lots of foot rubs in the future.

I turn off the faucet once the bucket is filled with warm, sudsy water. "Okay, baby. Let's get you nice and clean." I start gently scrubbing you, taking my time and focusing on your comfort more than efficiency.

[diaperedpup69]

I really enjoy the word Baby. I don’t know why but how Beth uses the word. My mom is alwsys busy she never calls me ‘baby’ anymore. She seems she is always stressed about medical bills. 

Maddie enjoys the feeling of the towel on the skin. Still very nervous and well aware of being fully naked. “Maddie loves touches. Maddie loves touches.” Is all she can repeat. 

Sometime goes by, then Maddie says, “my feet are cold” 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Well it's a good thing you're clean. Becausenow we can get you dried and dressed again."

I dry you off with a big, fluffy towel and pull you out of the tub. "Let's start with those cold feet of yours." I get out a fresh pair of socks and fit them over your feet. "There we go. No more cold toesies." I rub the bottoms of your feet with my thumbs.

[diaperedpup69]

“Heheh hehe that tickles mommy.” 

Awkaward moment of silence. “I’m sorry Beth. It just been awhile since someone touched my feet and it was my mommy before cancer.” 

Maddie loves feet but doesn’t know how to open up about why. “Again Beth I’m sorry.” Maddie starts to sob. “I do miss my mommy. I don’t understand why she can’t be here. I need her.” Crying. 

“I hate it here!!” Starts to cough and Begins to feel very weak. I got too emotional and over worked myself. 

[Wannatripbaby]

Oh dear. That went downhill fast!

I put my bare hand on the side of your face. Something I'm not technically supposed to do. "Hey now, it's okay baby. Please don't cry. I know you miss your mommy. And believe me, she misses you too. But it would put you in danger for her to be here. But I'm here now, and I'm going to take very good care of you until you're all better. I promise." I brushed her tears away with my thumb.

[diaperedpup69]

“I don’t understand. Other people get to have family while getting treatments?” 

Maybe my family doesn’t love me. I will probably never see them again and she is here to help me transition to a new family after treatment. Maddie does a lot of thinking. 

“I’m weak. Bath and crying takes a lot out of me”

[Wannatripbaby]

"I know, baby. Once I get you dressed you can take a nap, okay?"

She gets out the diaper and places underneath you. After rubbing some lotion into your diaper area she tapes it up. "You look so cute in your diaper." I smile, trying to make you feel better.

[diaperedpup69]

Smiles. “I’m just very weak.” Having cancer you need not just the drugs but the emotional support as well. “I’m very sick” 

[Wannatripbaby]

"I know you are, baby. But you'll get better. And until you do I'll be by your side as often as physically possible." I pull a fresh hospital gown over your head and pull you into a hug.

[diaperedpup69]

Maddie hugs back. 

Tears falling. “I’m never gonna be pretty again.” 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Yes you are, baby. You're gonna be beautiful. You'll have to beat the boys off with a stick!"

[diaperedpup69]

*giggles* at last comment. 

Just then another nurse comes in to take vitals. "oooh beth please please keep them away." Some of the nurses have been rough taking vitals. Maddie feels they demand too much of her. In truth the nurses are taking vitals like they would any normal patient "please keep them away." maddie cries out 

[Wannatripbaby]

I cling to you tighter and hold up my hand to stop the other nurses. "It's okay, I can take it from here. Have you gotten the mess out there cleaned up?"

"Yes we have, Beth."

"Thanks. You may go. I think Maddie would be more comfortable if I took her vitals."

"If you say so." They leave.

[diaperedpup69]

I'm shocked. This nurse just turned away all the bad people. Diddnt know what to say. After a few small seconds, "Maddie says thank you." 

[Wannatripbaby]

"You're welcome, baby. I can't promise I'll be the only one taking care of you. Other nurses may have to do things for you when I'm not around. But when I am around I'll do my best to take care of your every need." I carry you out to your bed and start taking your vitals.

[diaperedpup69]

"They are usualy really mean. Like they have other patients and I seem to annoy them. They must not know about my anxiety or past." After a minute or so maddie stops. Looks at you. "I can't belive im opening up like this. You dont really caree. this is your job." maddie starts to cry again

 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Hey now, I do really care. And not just because it's my job. You are a sweet, wonderful, pretty little girl who deserves all the love and care in the world."

I wanted to lean over and kiss her forehead, but I knew that would be dangerous to her health. I probably shouldn't have even hugged her in ths bathroom.

Of course, a hug isn't really that much different than when I carried her in there in the first place. And I'm about as clean as humanly possible without wearing a hazmat suit.

[diaperedpup69]

"I don't understand why I can't wear big girl underwear." 

[Wannatripbaby]

"Because, honey, you can barely move. And some of these drugs make it a bit hard to hold it in. Just don't worry about the diapers. I'll change you whenever you need it."

[diaperedpup69]

"I don't want them. i'm 7 not 2" I start to sob and cry. "I want to be like a normal 7 year old."

[Wannatripbaby]

"Shh shh shhhhhh, It's okay, baby. When you get out of here you'll be as normal as anyone else. Please don't cry."

I remember how well the foot-thing worked before so I decide to gently massage your foot through your sock.