Megagirl And Ultraboy: The Dynamic Duo (Redux)

[PeculiarChangeling]

First off, apologies for the 1.0 of this story dying. I didn't like how it was going and needed to flesh it our more. Second, I'm trying to move out of my comfort zone with the way I write this. There's going to be experiments. Contrasting writing styles, a sex scene (Oh noes! I ain't never written one of those outside a roleplay before,) and hopefully some things to keep me interested and challenge myself as a writer. I'm even gonna edit! If you have suggestions for any sort of linguistic or literary challenges that'd help with writing without influencing the story, please let me know.

Now, with a little further ado... the story.

Further ado: Personalias, if you're reading this... . You'll figure it out.

Now, without further ado... the story.

Issue #1 - The Dastardly Plot of Dr. Nefarious!

BANG. A single shot rang out, loud and piercing, the noise of it echoing off of cold marble as a shell casing clattered to the floor. A smoking 44. Magnum was lowered, and waved in a semicircle.

"Everybody on your knees! Don't you try anything or I'll blow your fucking head off!" It was the voice of a 30-something man wearing a black ski mask to obscure his face. He held the pistol that had yet to fully cool, and his eyes looked like trouble. A half dozen more men flooded in from entrances and bathroom stalls, as if on cue.

Except there was no as if. They were waiting for him to fire. The team moved with professional speed, manning doors, tellers, and hostages within seconds. It was less than half a minute before they had the tellers tossing money in duffel bags.

It was at half a minute exactly when somebody new showed up. "Halt! Criminal, put down your weapon!" It was the voice of justice. Or, rather, it was the voice of Megagirl, Protector of Justice. 'Justice' was a different superhero who specialized in ironic comeuppance for criminals. Megagirl just kicked ass. Rumor had it she wore a red costume to save on cleaning blood off of it. Of course this wasn't true, she cleaned it anyways.

"What the hell?" one of the ski-mask-men said. He raised his pistol to fire at Megagirl, but the gun seemingly vanished before he could fire. As others tried to react, they were similarly disarmed as a motion blur zipped past and took weapons. Then, zipping around the center of the room, the motion blur froze into a posing man in blue. Ultraboy. The M and U emblazoned on chests side by side mirrored each other, as around them a half dozen pistols clattered to the ground, clips and ammo removed.

"Help!" A cry of terror came from the back room. The safe.

"How many are there?" Megagirl asked, looking around cautiously. She suspected treachery.

Ultraboy paused, counting as he spoke. "Seven, by my count. And there's... shit, there's only six here. Go deal with it, I'll handle these guys."

Megagirl agreed with his sentiment, but of course wouldn't swear along with him. She couldn't. Sprinting, she navigated her way around a mahogany countertop and ran to the safe.

Inside, a lone man stood with a knife held to a girls throat. She wore a uniform for the bank and was holding her hands up. Terror flowed from her eyes, plain as day.

Raising her own palms to chest level in a gesture of peace, Megagirl slowly approached. "Lower the knife. You don't have to do this, you can still walk away. I promise it will be better if..." Her back straightened as she felt a heavy object crash into the small of her back. Normally this wouldn't matter in the slightest, but this time it hurt. A lot. She felt a pop and a snap, and collapsed to her knees with a yell of pain.

As this happened, the safe door closed behind her and the telker vanished. For that matter, so did the robber. A clicking was heard as the safe was locked, and she tried to fumble to her feet. It was fruitless, though, she could barely even feel her legs. "Who...?" She asked, turning to look.

"Me." Just as she looked, the heavy object caught her upside the chin. She bit her own tongue and was thrown across the safe, crashing into the far wall. Looking up, she saw a bald man with a long scar across his eye. A white lab coat covered in pockets adorned his body, and he held some weapon behind his back.

"Nefarious... What are you trying this time?" *Distract him with banter. I'm clearly overpowered, but Ultraboy must be coming by now.*

Doctor Nefarious crossed the room, catching her this time in the gut with the object. A mace of some kind, by the feel. "Ending your career as a superhero. The bank is just a bonus," he said. "Recognize this?"

In his hands, a true weapon of mass destruction was shown. Twenty inches long, ivory handle, and a flat metal head. A godhammer.

"No..." she spluttered. "You can't!"

"Ah, but I will. Now..." a hand slipped into the pocket of his coat. "This'll only take a moment."

"Just kill me now, you..." *Even as I am about to die, I shouldn't break the oath.* "You criminal."

"Who said anything about killing you? Why would I do that? I simply want to... well... Keep you too occupied to fight crime." From his pocket, he drew an evil looking needle filled with a sickly green serum.

Eyes widening, Megagirl tried to push away. But she couldn't stand, and when she tried to use her hands to crawl he raised the hammer.

"I can cripple you further, if you'd prefer," he offered. She simply shook her head. "Then give me your arm. You have my word as a doctor, this won't hurt a bit."

A knock came outside the safe, pounding on the thick metal door. "Megagirl! Are you okay!" Ultraboy. Finally. Nefarious scowled, grabbing her arm anyways when sje refused to give it. The shout came again. "Hold on! I'm coming!"

The needle pierced her skin, and a gloved hand began injecting but stopped. "You know he'll never make it in time. It'd take the strength of a tank to break through that safe door."

There was another click as the door opened. "Combination, jackass," Ultraboy said. Nefarious blinked and reached in his coat pocket. Even as Ultraboy dashed towards him, he vanished into thin air and left Ultraboy grasping at nothing.

The needle, half full now, clattered to the ground and shattered. That made two shattered things in the room... and both of them were full of a poison that Megagirl dreaded the effects of. This wouldn't be fun.

[babybb]

lol read this 2 times and kinda figuring out whats happening.

[PUP-E]

This story rocks!, i love that you called it issue #1 instead of chapter one.

I love the banter "Combination, jackass," hilarious!, overall this version

feels even more like a comic book than the original.

[PeculiarChangeling]

By the way: The universe this story exists in is akin to the Spinnyverse, if you know what that is. (A webcomic involving superheroes.) IE, both superheroes, villains, and comic books exist in spades. There's structure in place for Superhero regulation. Secret identities still exist, but some Superheroes forgo them for convenience sake.

[babybb]

thanks for info,

[PeculiarChangeling]

Episode 2: The Good News and the Bad News

"Get her under!"

...

"Code blue! Code blue!"

...

"Is she stable?"

...

"She... she'll live."

...

"I really wish I could swear right now." Nadine, (as it was her now that the mask and suit were removed,) felt horrible. Her lower chest an abdomen were numb, her gag reflex tingled at the slightest odor, and everywhere else hurt. Jaw fractured, tongue cut nearly off by her own teeth, both kneecaps shattered, and a badly cracked pelvis. Internal bleeding and heavy organ damage too, but she couldn't feel it. What she wanted right at that moment was something to take her pain away.

"I can swear for you, if you'd like." Jason, also unmasked, felt horrible. He hadn't been able to protect his girlfriend and partner in anti-crime from getting hurt. Even his rescue was almost too late. She had nearly died, and he was left badly damaged as a result of his failure. What he wanted at that moment was simply to take his lover's pain away.

"No thanks. It wouldn't ve quite the same." Nadine chuckled, then coughed, then winced. "How long was I in surgery?"

Jason shook his head. "No surgery. Scalpel broke on your skin when they tried. The doctor assures me you'll recover, though. Your physique should be able to fit the pieces back together." He smiled to comfort her, and tried to hide his own fear.

"So how long was I out then?" Nadine asked, wincing again as she tested how her arms felt. The downside to her superhuman density and mass was the fact that painkillers did practically nothing to help. She was basically stuck feeling it if anything managed to hurt her. Well, that and she needed enough food to keep a bear full through the summer.

Jason checked his watch. "A day and fourteen hours. They were about to start prepping feeding tubes when you came to, you're dangerously low on a lot of things you shouldn't be low on."

"Like unbroken bones?" Nadine asked, giving another wincing laugh.

Jason laughed too, but maintained a serious tone. "Like blood sugar and body fat. Now that you're awake, though, you get to experience the joys of eating easily digestible nutrient paste."

"Can't I have a ribeye?" Nadine asked. Red meat was preferable to tasteless pudding any day of the week. She wasn't actually hungry, but if she had to eat something she'd prefer that it had flavor.

"No solid food until your guts stop bleeding into each other and your jaw can handle biting down." Jason commented, shrugging. "Sorry."

[PeculiarChangeling]

"Fantastic." Nadine commented, swallowing on a dry throat. "I don't suppose I could get a little water?"

"Of course," Jason said, "I'll go grab a nurse. The Doctor should be here in a minute to talk to you, if I'm not back in time than just remember to catch me up on what I missed." Kissing her on the forehead, he walked out to find some water.

The Doctor walked in a moment later, holding a clipboard and wearing a pair of reading glasses. "Megagirl?" He asked, flipping to the proper page.

"Nadine, please. I'm not fighting crime right now," she replied, cordial as she could.

"I'd hope not. You're not even fit for jury duty right now, Nadine. What'd he use, a sledgehammer?"

"God hammer."

"Damn." There was a pause, and the Doctor cleared his throat. "As for damage... minor internal bleeding, several blood vessels were burst from the blow to your stomach. Two fractured ribs, one broken. Your hip has a fracture as well as your pelvis. Three breaks on your left shin and two on the right, but it's all held together well enough. Your jaw has a nasty crack in it and a couple molars came out, but we've got them in a baggie for the tooth fairy if you'd like. Besides that, the only damage from physical blows is sone bruising and a few minor cuts."

"And what about that stuff in the needle?" Nadine asjed. This got a frown from the doctor.

"That's the bad part. It appears that the chemical has cut off a lot of nerve function to your lower chest and most intestines. Do you feel hungry?" He asked.

"Not at all... why?"

"I was afraid of that. The nervous damage means you won't be able to tell when you need to eat. You'll have to schedule your meals and make sure to eat proper portions, because you won't be able to tell when you're full either. There sseems to be a few other minor residual effects, but besides that there's only one major result." He paused, again clearing his throat.

"What is it?"

"The damage to nerves extends down to your urinary systems as well as your intestines and colon. You're not going to know if you need the bathroom until... well, until you're going. I'm sorry." He gave her an apologetic look, lowering the clipboard.

Before Nadine could respond, though, Jason was back. Noticing the Doctor, he paused. "Did I miss anything?"

[babybb]

mmm lets see.

[PUP-E]

I'd say he missed something! lol, please continue this story has me hooked.

Thank you for sharing.

[PeculiarChangeling]

The hospital stay was a week of catheters, pills and bed pans, and one that Nadine never wanted to repeat. Even so, on the last day as freedom was so close in sight, she had one last tribulation to go through.

"I won't do it," she said, crossing her arms.

"You've got to, honey. Otherwise you're just going to ruin whatever clothes you're wearing. It sucks, but there isn't another option." Jason wasn't going to budge.

"It looks stupid. Besides, I'm not a freaking baby." Nadine was firm too, but they both knew how this would end.

"Look... we've gone through this three times a day for a week. You've got to eat, and until you're strong enough to feed yourself that means I have to do it. So let me put on your bib so I won't spill food everywhere."

"Oh, fine..."

[babybb]

lol dont think she's to keen on all this baby stuff.

[PUP-E]

Short but sweet!, this is turning into a bit of a hospital story, which i love!.

Please continue and thank you for sharing.

[Tim]

Really enjoy this story, keep it coming.

[PeculiarChangeling]

Oh, screw it. I figured out my problem with plot, and it'll need another major rewrite. Using the injury excuse, there's no surprise or embarrassment when the diapers show up... it's just something that's seen coming and more of an annoying inconvenience to the cast.

I still like the superhero idea, though, and I think I've got an idea that will work... an origin story of sorts. Sorry for dropping it again, but without embarrassment it turns kind of boring for me.