My Confession.

[Paulo]

About 4 years ago I ended up going out on a sort of date with a co worker. We had worked together for a couple of years and liked each other so we arranged to go out and see what happened. On the romance front I bottled it as I'm very shy and she is devestatingly pretty. But while we were out I wanted to get a sounding of her thoughts on this fetish so I asked her what the most daring thing she had done sexually. After she had finished she asked me about mine and then wrestled out of me (I get very embarrassed just saying the word 'nappy') that a girl I was once with had asked me to dress her up as a baby. My date asked if I had done it, if she had wanted to wear nappies and what I thought. I basically stated that I had thought it weird but was cool with it and had checked on the Internet about what it was. She stated that it did sound weird and would've been worried it involved kids but I said that it was just role play and had nothing to do with children. Anyway I was trying to get a handle on what she might think of my fetish without letting her know, a white lie and maybe just see if we could go out. I do feel like a part of me was vetting her to go out with which felt unfair since she was, and is, a very nice person. Anyway like I said it didn't go anywhere as a relationship due to me.

I then met someone else who I had a whirlwind romance with and proposed to. i told my fiancee about my fetish straigt away and she accepted it and has worn for me. And my co worker friend became just that again.

Fast forward to last year and I started to notice my work friend paying me a lot more attention and flirting with me. She has even cracked a few jokes regarding nappies with me.

This has led to me fantasising about her a lot in relation to my fetish which makes me feel guilty as I have a very loving partner who I do love very much. At points I've daydreamed of proposing to meet up with my co worker but I know, deep down, that it is a fantasy but one that is very difficult to get out of my mind. I also think that since this happened things between me and my fiancée have been strained (we don't have an easy relationship but we like soulmates) which thus drives me to this even more.

I think I just wanted to tell someone as the combination of the above makes it impossible to talk to anyone I know. I would just like to say that haven't ever cheated on someone I've gone out with and wouldn't on my partner.

Confession over.

[will_k2]

tough position really, but if you and your better half a truly soul mates, then you shouldn't be having any feelings about anyone else, she would be the one occupying your mind. Don't feel guilty about your 'thoughts' thats every human being's right, to think in a way and keep it to themselves. Just make sure you don't act upon them based on A) your engaged your job could be put at risk. The fact that the coworker took that long to start opening up to who you are means that she is somewhat desperate for someone, and she knows you. Why didn't she act upon these emotions earlier on ? id say just enjoy having a friend coworker that you can innocently flirt with, but know that you must have fallen in love with your fiance for a reason, even if now you have forgotten it. Its in our nature 'men' to think the grass is greener on the other side, but you have to train yourself to 'settle' and that doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing, but just settle for something or someone without thinking you have to up the ante.

[Bettypooh]

So you have feelings for someone else after you've made a commitment- welcome to reality where many others do the same thing The difference is what you do about it. If you 'play around' it will have an effect on your current relationship because you will know about it even if your partner doesn't. And if they find out, where will you stand? As I see this kind of thing, if a person in a commitment breaks their promise they are worthless because you cannot trust them again. If someone from outside tries to get you to break your promise, then what kind of person can they really be to want you to do that? Not the kind of person who can be trusted either

[WakkoWannaBe]

You could maybe RP some of your fantasies or desires with your fiancee, and engage her in that part of your sexuality so that you don't feel like you have to go to someone else for that need.

[DiaperedProf]

No matter what issue you face with your SO, the best thing to do is turn towards each other instead of away. Even to us here on this forum. Turning towards your SO includes what Wakko said above, but also approaching her to talk through life. Engage her and you will be rewarded many times over. In the process, don't forget about her and everything will be fine.

[Paulo]

Hey everyone, Thanks for the above advice and you've reinforced my own thoughts. I just needed to vent in a forum where I can be open but I really do appreciate the above words. Paulo