On Why Dominants Don't Want Abs........

[lilstevie]

What a great topic ! I`m sorry I did`nt see it sooner on the board . I would enjoy sharing with all of you some of our prespectives and experiances on this . My wife and I have both been in the bdsm scene actively for a number of years (7 +). We`ve attended the local munches and play parties ,,, gone out to the big national events .We have many leather friends and bdsm lifestyle friends that are like family to us.We live a Daddy / lilgirl relationship everyday. It`s a part of who we are . It`s how we have grown together. Our`s is a multi faceted relationship . She`s little and also very submissive and brat. Myself , I`m her Top , Daddy and also lil brother. I also have a little side . Hers is more 5 ish ,,, mine is 3 ish . When I`m little ,, she`s more in the big sister role. It works for us , she gets to remain in her lilspace and I get to be little also. We have friends that enjoy being unkie and auntie to the both of us. This works great for us and our friends. We both can spend time being little, they get to relive a part of their lives thats gone. It satsifies needs in both of us.

I know this can sound a little confusing to some . How do we do it? It`s all about needs and satisfing them and the power exchange that comes with it. She needs to feel safe , protected , and nurtured. She brings out a strong Daddy side in me . It was there in the beginning . She`s so tiny and fragile looking ,,, you want to just hug her up and protect her. But she is a lil firecracker . Dont let her size fool ya . She`ll standup and let her voice be heard . She`s no doormat . She`s the protector and mentor of the new subs in the group. Giving them guidance and speaking up when a so called "Dom" approaches a newbie to take advantage of. She`s also a brat. A brat in a bdsm defination is a sub who "misbehaves" and pushes the limits of being respectful to her Top but in a appriate way.

A "Brat" is a submissive that enjoys attempting to push her or his tops buttons and determine how far she

can go before she is snatched up and given a sound spanking or other

appropriate "punishment." Brats can be playful or saucy, sometimes

belligerant and sometimes disobediant, but always in a respectful way. I

specifically said submissive because I have never known a "slave" who was

bratty. A bratty slave I believe would be an oxymoron not so much bratty

sub.

A playful brat is a cherished prize that is sought after

by many tops.I`m so fortunate to have her . She keeps me on my toes and keeps that creativity going in the relationship.

How does all this tie in to your topic? Interestingly ,,, most of the more experianced Doms or Tops I know enjoy playing with ageplayers. The schoolgirl roleplay ,,, naughty girl that gets the sound spanking for bringing in a bad note for misbehaving in class is as classic as it gets or being sent to the "principles " or "headmasters" office for some scolding.

AB play is a lil different and needs to be approached carefully. Some will be turned off at the thought of changing a dirty diaper or even diapering in general . That`s not to say you cant be little or AB with a Top, just dont make a big issue over the diapering part . It may come with time. It may not. I`ve been with Tops that did enjoy the diapering part , they thought it was cute and fun. There`s a thing about being fluid bonded with someone . This is also a bdsm term . It`s an exchange of bodily fluids typically and doesnt happen in most relationships until a commitment has been reached. This has to do with AIDS and other transmittable diseases. Changing a dirty diaper might be a turn off for some because of this (whether it`s true or not)

Regardless , if you approach all of this as fun play , you might find yourself with a Dom or Top that `s never experianced ab play but finds it fun and fullfilling. It maybe new ground for them and you need to explain and cummunicate . The 2 links jenniebear posted are great! A Dom or Top may have misconceptions about the ab lifestyle and need to be refered to good sites for info.

I hope I have`nt rambled on too much ,,,it`s late and my spelling is going to pot. Maybe there will be a tid bit of information somewhere in this that`s useful for someone here .

I wish all of you the very best ,

YIK and diapers ,,,

lilstevie

[ABDLincontlady]

That last post was too long, but it was easier to read with paragraph breaks than other long posts.

Was thinking of another concept that one is either a submissve or an acceptor of being dominated. A submissive who gives into a situation thinking it can be changed and struggles against it and spends a lot of time thinking of how. An acceptor realizes the situation can't be changed, this is the way it is/this is the way they are and happily adjusts to it. Thus an AB rebels as they can't change their situation/be competent and becomes a time draining brat. An adult acceptor realizes this is how they are hardwired even if they have compentencies and teams up with a Dom to use the competencies under their direction.

[Teddy Bear Brian]

I think we are lucky that both Nicky and I are into the ab lifestyle. We are able to switch and fulfill eachothers needs and Nicky is finally finding it more comfortable to let her lil girl side come out.

Thanks to Jennie we have also got into the BDSM scene which has been great. We have met some great people and found some more "adult" things to play around with. Its funny when it comes to that side of things we still switch. When it comes to the adult/baby role more often Nicky will play mommy but I still play daddy sometimes. When it comes to the D/s side of things I for the most part am dominant though. We work well to share eachothers burdens and to fulfill eachothers needs. Its not always easy. Nicky gets frustrated with me at times and I suppose sometimes I get frustrated by things too. But thats a relationship. I am proud to say that we are becoming more and more balanced and give an take.

What a long (sometimes great sometimes not) trip it has been. But I'm looking forward to taking this trip with her for years to come.

[Topguy]

Interesting to still see this topic going after so long.

Maintanence issues are usually the hardest ones to overcome. I'm quite capable of behaving in the daddy role-but I won't, for the most part. It's too unbalanced for me to take on. In the long run, I am just more interested in a slave wired girl who won't hard limit diaper domination.

The poster above me made a very good point about the importance of a balance. They switch to keep things going, and needs met for both parties.