Telling Girlfriend - Advice Needed

[BigBearLuke]

So I've been a closet DL since I was in my teens. I've never told a soul (except anonymously), but I know that day is getting closer. I'm just not sure how I should proceed. Here is my situation. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months now and have decided to take our relationship to the next level with her moving in at the beginning of the new year. Before I met her I wondered if I'd ever find that special someone. I love her so much but I'm anxious to tell her my secret. She is much more "experienced" than I and we come from two different words (me the conservative south, her the liberal north) so talking about sexuality is much easier for her and talk she does (especially if she wants to make me blush). She has got me to admit I have a fetish and she thinks that is fascinating. She wants to know what it is and has gone as far as to tell me her and her exes fetishes to make me more comfortable with talking about (her last boyfriend had a sissy fetish). I want to tell her so bad, but I'm afraid how she will take it. First she has admitted to me that she was sexually abused as a child and admitted she also to wet her bed until high school as a result. I know its the common cliche in this fetish but how do you convince someone who was sexually molested as a child that this doesn't have anything to do with children? Secondly her mother has dementia and my girlfriend has had to help clean her up after an accident a few times. My girlfriend has mentioned in conversation how gross it is was and how she would never want to do it again. How do I overcome this? Finally there are her reactions to subtle hints I've dropped. For example I was teasing about crapping my pants instead of getting up to use the toilet during a movie and she not only said that was gross but also how she could understand how any grown adult would purposely want to do that. I dropped the topic quick and

haven't said anything else since. I have had the courage to admit to her that I have a desperation fetish only after she noticed how much harder I was when I was holding it.

Anyone out there have any advice on how I should proceed?

[Honu]

BBLuke,

You're asking for advice, but the question you have isn't the one I can answer. What i can advise you is that you are approaching a big decision with her and with 9 months invested, there already is the potential for a lot of hurt. Before finances are brought into the equation, which happened when you both agreed to move together, you have to figure out if there are any deal breakers.

What I advise you to do is determine your minimum acceptable AB/DL lifestyle and what her role has to be. You can find in these boards writtings of guys who have to keep their diaper desires hidden and live for when their wives travel without them. You can also find guys bragging about how their wife or girlfriend enjoys putting them in diapers, changing them and otherwise meeting their fantasies. If you find that she can't accept your minimum, it's best to change your plans and let her know that marriage with her is not going to happen. Sorry, but if you are miserable because you can't get live your fetish, it will end sometime and sooner is less painful and less expensive than later.

I would respond with so much caution, but she put up some serious red flags. If you are fine with keeping it in the closet, fine, but I don't think the guys who have to wait for their wives to travel are that happy about it.

Good Luck,

Honu

[lovelylittle]

Only you know her well enough to know exactly how to begin the conversation, but the one thing I took out of your post that I think is really important is for you to tell her she doesn't have to participate unless she feels comfortable doing so. Obviously, from what she's said, she probably isn't going to want to change messy diapers- but if she's very open-minded already, that isn't to say she will forbid you from ever wearing them. If she already knows you have a fetish, it will definitely make the conversation easier, that made a world of difference talking about it with my boyfriend. I also think it made a big difference that I did a lot of self-analyzing beforehand- IMHO, it's really important to know a few things: how the ABDL fetish started for you, why it attracts you so much, what parts of it you enjoy and don't, how much you need it to be a part of your life, and how much you need the other person to participate (and how you want them to participate). If you can offer up all these explanations to her, it might help her make a lot more sense of it. After you tell her, give her a little time to process it, and then you're going to have to have a very open and honest conversation with her. Be open to her feelings as much as you want her to be open to yours, and find out exactly what she is and isn't willing to do for you, and from there you can decide if that's enough for you.

I think you're picking a good time to come clean with her, and it seems like you've picked a good person to tell. It's hard to predict how other people will react, but if she really loves you for the person you are that won't change just because you like diapers. You could direct her to this site also, the support for friends and family forum might help her quite a bit. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted

[diaperloverky]

So I'm curious as to how everything went?

[ItchyTasty]

Personally I wouldn't jump in at the deep end straight away, as it might be too much for her to understand, especially if she doesn't know much about more extreme fetishes.

Just tell her you are extremelly turned on and excited by wearing diapers, if the DL thing is purelly sexual to you. And say it really spices up your sex-life.

Then later on tell your story behind and that you love wetting them.

Messing them however is much more extreme which is rare as rocking horse shit for a girl to be into, and unless they have some extreme fetish themselves like scat or watersports or mess diapers themselves; otherwise I think messing would gross them out.

Probably something just to keep to yourself when she's not around...

Just like most women are "funny" and keep knowledge of their period private, only discussed with other women.

Only very very few will share that say if a guy has a fetish for it.