Adjusting To Wearing Around Girlfriend

[BlackoutSunset]

I coud use some tips as to the best way to get my girlfriend used to being around me when I'm wearing diapers. She isn't a AB/DL or Mommy figure and has no interest in being one. Help?

[Knom]

Act normal. Don't "draw attention" to the fact your wearing one, just treat it like an every piece of clothing and you'll do fine.

[Lost_Little_Sarah]

If she is even ok with the idea of you wearing then just start out small little things like wearing under your clothes in a non obvious manner. Don't wear them soo much or so obvious as to be throwing "look at me I am wearing diapers" in her face.

[KittenAB]

Just don't try to push her into it.

[Sophie ♥]

...personally, I feel talking to her prior to just wearing them inconspicuously is a better idea...

And this is coming from a girl who has worn a diaper in front of every girlfriend she ever had. Then again, I'm incredibly persuasive and very patient.

-Sophie

[Guest Saturnine]

The one common mistake I see people constanty make is keeping it a secret. Relationships and marriage and love are pacts of truths. You don't keep secrets away from your partner, regardless of how silly you feel telling the secret. It's a fatal blow to hide diapers for years, then expect the person to be okay when you are 50 and have mny kids and they suddenly have the knowledge the husband wears diapers and wants to be a baby. Sure it can be weird for any relationship, but if you bring EVERYTHING out into the open FIRST, then the relationship has a much higher chance of success in the long run.

Don't keep secrets. Keeping them hidden only makes your chances worse.

[BlackoutSunset]

We've talked about it.

[Sophie ♥]

The one common mistake I see people constanty make is keeping it a secret. Relationships and marriage and love are pacts of truths. You don't keep secrets away from your partner, regardless of how silly you feel telling the secret. It's a fatal blow to hide diapers for years, then expect the person to be okay when you are 50 and have mny kids and they suddenly have the knowledge the husband wears diapers and wants to be a baby. Sure it can be weird for any relationship, but if you bring EVERYTHING out into the open FIRST, then the relationship has a much higher chance of success in the long run.

Don't keep secrets. Keeping them hidden only makes your chances worse.

Agreed.

However, that's not what the OP is implying. He's been having a lot of trouble with his AB/DL binge/purge stuff, and after concluding this was a part of his life he wasn't going to easily get away from, he did confide the truth in his girlfriend. Which is extremely honorable of him to tell her early on. I feel a significant other should be informed.

He's just wondering how he can ease his girlfriend into his likes.

Oh - on topic: Why not try asking her about some of her more abscure hobbies. And maybe you can offer to indulge in hers if she'll be more open to yours. That's a tactic I often use, and I like it because I get to learn more about the person I'm with and I get to try new things... Noted, hers probably won't be as odd as wearing diapers, but start small. And don't push her.

Talking is your best bet, IMO

-Sophie

[BlackoutSunset]

We've talked a lot about my diapers. I've accepted that I like to wear and she's getting used to the idea. She doesn't have anything strange that shes into that she knows of.

[Sophie ♥]

i say give her control over it, agree to let her pick which days you wear them, but only on the condition that its X amount of days per week/month/whatever. If she wakes up one morning and she just really doesnt feel like dealing with it, she can ask you not to, but at the same time if shes feeling more open/accepting she can let you go for it. You still get to wear, and itll be at least somewhat often, but it wont feel as "forced" on her. Or if she honestly just wants no part in it, just do it when you feel like it, but dont draw attention to it. Dont bring it up past possibly giving her a heads up, and be fairly passive about it and hope she comes around.

Very good ideas. I'd say listen to Ashie.

-Sophie

[Guest Saturnine]

Well if you have talked about it, then the hard part is out of the way. The diaper life is a touch and go life. It's a life of pushing the boundaries and testing the waters, discovering what your partner allows and what your partner doesn't allow. Work must be on the both sides of the coin. She will have to commit to being okay to a degree with your diapers, nd YOU must be willing to abandon some things you may like for your partner. Example: she may be okay with you being wet,but she says not around her friends or family. Fair enough, no? You both must work towards a common center and abandon certain things that will hold you back from a true relationship.

DO NOT expect your partner to be okay with anything without asking. Don't approach her having just (maybe) pooed your diaper and try to hug her. If she smells you and knows what you did, and you assume it's okay, then Houston we have a problem. Do not keep ANYTHING hidden, and constantly be aware of the boundaries the relationship has erected.

Commitment involves sacrifice. It's unfortunate, but still true.

[BlackoutSunset]

Well I don't mess and she requested I don't use them around her to start. She wants me to wear around her and if she doesn't notice, tell her after.

[Guest Saturnine]

Well I don't mess and she requested I don't use them around her to start. She wants me to wear around her and if she doesn't notice, tell her after.

This sounds like a trap. If she told you to wear around her and not tell her, and see if she notices, then it's possibly a trap as in she may say she notices you are wearing one, whether she really notices or not. This kind of agreement has her gaining an edge over you, although you probably don't see it. She can call you out and make you NOT wear diapers, even if you may not be wearing one, JUST SO she can get you out of them and stop wearing them.

You may have to call her bluff if she says she notices. Sorry dude, but she's got the upper hand on you and you fell for it.

Reword the conditions. Make it that id she notices, she has to prove HOW she knew. Be a man!

[BlackoutSunset]

I don't think I feel for anything. It's how she wants to do it. 'Cause if she can't tell then it can't bother her.

[Guest Saturnine]

Pull your head out of your diaper and listen again: if you leave it to her, all she hs to do is say "I notice" and the game is up.

It sounds to me that if the dividing line is THAT simple, that all she has to do is notice it, then it sounds to me it IS an issue with her REGARDLESS of it being discreet or not. The requirements she has given to you are so simple to fail at it sounds like she WANTS to get you out of them.

I know you said you leave it up to her. I'm telling you man, if you leave it up to her she will have you not only out of diapers bt destroying your stash AND you AB stuff.

Remember when I said you both have to meet in the middle? Well, NEITHER of you are!

YOU are sitting back and letting her make the choices, and SHE is making it so that the slightest thing will get you out of diapers forever.

So....YOU need to have a higher level other than "if she notices once it's over" and SHE needs to have more respect than to secretly devise a plan to get you out.

No matter how you looka t this, she has devised a way to make you quit dipers. And it seems you are sort of a pushover so she knows she can have you by the balls and tell you what to do.

Relationships suck, don't they?

[BlackoutSunset]

You're all being overly pessimistic. Not sure why I put my life up here for scrutiney

[Guest Saturnine]

1.) I'm not being pessimistic. I'm being realistic.

2.) You asked for advice. You get it. Don't bite the hand that feeds you what you asked for.

It's really easy to wrap yourself in delusion and hope that things turn out for you like they do in fantasy and dreams. But we are dealing with a real human, who has expressed a dislike for your behavior, and who has openly told you EXACTLY what needs to happen so they can tell you to stop with the diapers.

Again, she TOLD YOU EXACTLY what needs to happen to get you out of diapers. And you are going to sit back and let it happen, you said so yourself.

Be realistic and see that if ya sit back things may turn sour. If you rgres towards the mean and meet her halfway, all should be good.

I know what it's like to wrap yourself in a happy delusion, but sometimes you must see the facts AS THEY ARE and realize fantasy is fantasy and reality is reality: put in some effort or expect to fail.

[BlackoutSunset]

Were just going to take it slow. That's what we decided on.

[Guest Saturnine]

Was that the decision you made together, or did she tell you what to do again?

Slave to women, man. Don't let your woman have ya by the balls. If she does she'll make you do what she wants including abandoning the ABDL life forever.

I'm at least happy you aren't sitting back and letting her control you entirely like you said. Not to be mean, but that was a stupid decision.

[BlackoutSunset]

It's a decision we made together.

[Guest Saturnine]

Good for you, bro!

I'm glad to hear some positive stories because lately there's been a lot of "finally telling my wife" type scenarios that can only end badly because of the devestating ecret being withheld for years than laid onto the unsuspecting person.

Too many people seem to assume it's better to hide things and later reveal it with devestating results.

Again, awesome!!!

[Bettypooh]

You're all being overly pessimistic. Not sure why I put my life up here for scrutiney

Please don't think that only those who have replied care There's many of us who support you but just haven't posted yet I've read the whole thread and IMHO you're onto the right track- especially with the open communications and shared decision making Those are the two things which make or break most relationships whether ABDL is involved or not And pushing yourself onto someone never works- they will eventually either push back or push you away- bigtime fail One person in this thread doesn't seem to get that yet, but they will after they lose what they wanted because of attitude error Sometimes that's how we learn; all of us humans are contrary, stubborn, and less than intelligent at times

Relationships are defacto a compromise. The line in between changes as you give and get, and nobody gets everything they want. But if you get all of what you need and most of what you want and you're both happy, that's called success, and that is most definitely a BIG WIN !!!!

Bettypooh

[BlackoutSunset]

Yeah, I'll try to keep anyone who cares informed about it.

[Guest Saturnine]

Yeah, I'll try to keep anyone who cares informed about it.

I don't like this statement. Please don't assume that someone who gives realistic advice in an attempt to help you doesn't care about you just because the advice you get is not what yo want to her. That's just childish thinking and is pretty stupid. It's a deluded life to only listen to those who give advice that may not be entirely realistic.

[BlackoutSunset]

Okay, you really need to stop slamming everything I say. All I meant was that just cause someone gives advice doesn't mean they will follow the story to its conclusion some people just post their two cents but may never follow up on it.