Relaxing On-Line

[john2jane2john]

It was wonderful staying with my aunt. Good food, snacks, a large room to myself and in my aunt's office - the Internet. Ah the Internet.... I'd met Carol on-line within that same week I'd come to live with Aunt Pat after mom took ill.

Mom's illness, an addiction and severe nervous breakdown, would keep her institutionalized for months the doctor said. Not seeing mom for at least a couple of months was devastating, but thanks to my aunt, I was easily getting past it. Thanks also to Carol.

I met Carol in a chat room a few days after I arrived. Carol was, to put it mildly, wicked. Before long Carol and I were talking about sex and someday meeting to take care of our individual needs while taking care of each others needs as well. Meanwhile, we would have to make do being apart, and it wasn't too long after that before I was masturbating.

My aunt, a nurse, worked swing shift and that was perfect for me because not too long after my aunt would go off to work I would be in front of the computer. I would shower get into my robe and spend the next hour or so getting off watching Carol while watched me.

Masturbating got even better when Carol talked me into using a pair of my aunt's panties pretending they were Carol's. At first I would wrap myself in those panties but Carol could no longer see the details and insisted I put them on and play that way. Funny that I could so easily do that considering that the moment I did so I was cross dressing.

That progressed some to me stepping into my aunt's panties before I masturbated which, according to Carol, was a huge turn on. That was also how the slip came into play. First I'd put myself into the panties then one of my aunt's half slips culminating in me masturbating. Only trouble was masturbating got a little messy and I feared ruining too many pieces of my aunt's lingerie.

My own stuff arrived a few days after I complained about that very thing. Carol had taken the time to get my measurements and promised to get what I needed. Actually she said she'd get the things "she" needed, laughing when she said it. I didn't fully understand that till I saw what she wanted me wearing.

Laying neatly on the bed, after opening the box I'd gotten, were girl clothes but not adult style clothes. What I was looking at were young girl clothes. Very young girl clothes I noted as I lifted a pair of panties that had ruffles. What unnerved me wasn't so much that the panties had ruffles but that they were lined in soft plastic.

"Honey, those panties were very expensive and the only way you can masturbate in them - without ruining them - is that plastic lining." Carol said and she was right. I noted how strange they felt but how quickly that strangeness passed once the inside layer of plastic grew slick.

I quickly got over that strangeness of the clothes and even wore the rest of the things Carol wanted to see me in. Along with the ruffled panties was a fairly simple full slip although more little girlish than my aunt's. The slip was short, very short and had wide straps that didn't adjust like my aunt's slip did.

Fortunately the slip was made of satin and I mention fortunately because masturbating with the slip over the panties was incredible. Unfortunately the slip hid the panties and I knew from past experience that Carol hated that. Only she didn't and even encourage me into the dress I'd been sent.

That dress hung straight and it too was satin - pink satin like the slip. There was no waist to speak of and I laughed with Carol when I discovered that the dress, only slightly longer than the slip, didn't hide the ruffled panties. I suspected it was a baby's style dress but didn't really know that till the other box arrived.

Carol was clever, very clever and long before that second box arrived I was happily dressing in front of the computer and masturbating for Carol almost nightly. Even when I got the plain soft plastic vinyl baby pants to wear under a pair of unlined ruffled panties I wore them. I wore them and just as easily as before masturbated in them.

The fact that they were plastic vinyl pants that would normally cover a diaper didn't phase me. Nor did I worry too much when it was clear I was wearing baby girl style clothes. By then of course I was hooked and Carol was extremely happy and having a woman extremely happy was a good thing.

By the time that second box did arrive I could no more give up the outfits than the time I spent listening happily to Carol's voice as I masturbated. She was magical and I would do almost anything to hear that voice while I played under and over those clothes. When I saw the diapers, the bonnet and those few accessories I did waffle a little.

I wasn't going to wear a diaper - period. I wasn't going to wear a baby's bonnet either, nor fill and drink from a baby's bottle or even put that pacifier in my mouth. There were some things a guy just doesn't do I said and she laughed.

Carol laughed and a second later I saw the captured images of me she'd been taking over the weeks. As she said, in that soft motherly voice and considering what I was wearing for her, if I had been wearing diapers no one would notice. I didn't have to use the baby bottle, just keep in on the desk so the camera could capture it.

I would however have to wear the diaper, nurse the pacifier and of course add the bonnet since it went so well with the dress. If I did that she would agree to come back on line. If not I was welcome to box everything and send it back and she would find another playmate.

It was the first night I didn't have her voice and image to masturbate to and it was hell on earth that night. I sat there for fifteen minutes looking at a blank screen before I decided she was right and headed for my room. Thankfully the diaper was fitted and sized perfectly to me. I easily slipped it on and over my plastic pants and closed it.

I wore a pair of clear plastic pants lubricated with baby lotion, the very thick diaper that closed nearly with Velcro, and that soft pastel pink pair of lined rhumba panties. Over those things the slip, then the dress and finally the bonnet. I had never even dared try the Mary Jane shoes on but after the lacy socks those too went on.

I even filled the baby's bottle with milk and just before sending Carol my message, put the pacifier in my mouth. If that's what it took to make her happy - so be it and it was clear I made her happy when she came into view and sat in front of her computer. "Yes", I said agreeing to show off what I wore.

"Are you mommy's sissy baby," Carol asked and I answered "yes". "Did I like being Carol's little sissy baby? Carol asked and again I answered yes. I said yes to everything she asked. I said I loved wearing my diaper and silky ruffled panties. I loved nursing my pacifier and drinking milk from my baby bottle. Above all else I loved my dress and bonnet.

I had my back to the screen when it went blank, but at that moment I wasn't noticing anything else but my aunt. I was bending slightly to show off the rhumba panties and rotating from the sideways view I'd started at when I saw my aunt standing there.

For an instant I wondered how much of what Carol or I said that my aunt might have heard, but thought better of it considering what I was wearing. Even worse, I'd laid out the second of the three diapers Carol had sent me on a cute plastic lined changing pad.

I was going to give Carol all that she wanted including me pretending to change my diaper. Only there I was now standing straight with my aunt trying desperately to make sense of the situation she was witnessing. I was dressed as a baby girl, right down to the pacifier, and there behind me, in clear view, the baby bottle.

In front of me, on the floor, the changing pad and diaper. "Are you wet," my aunt asked. Was I wet? Was I wet? That wasn't the question I thought she might ask. It wasn't even close to what I expected. No I wasn't wet and while I was sure this might seem as odd as it was, there was an explanation.

"I can explain this," I said.

"No need," my aunt answered and added, "I warned your mother about this very thing years ago. Anyway, no matter, it's done and can't be undone so lets get past it shall we? I've got to change myself and I suppose it's safe to tell you that I've been wearing diapers for about three years now for my own incontinence..."

"What," I asked not clear what I was hearing or even what was going on.

"I'm incontinence," my aunt said and added, "In a way I'm glad I found out about your little past time because it makes what I do fairly mild in comparison".

"I'm not... it's not what you think," I said. That my aunt might think I liked doing this because it was some kind of fetish was ridiculous. OK, ok so it did look odd but I was doing all of it for the sake of a girl and sex and sex was a huge motivator. And what was with her warning my mom? Warning my mom about what?

"Stop," my aunt said just as I started to turn back to the computer to wave a hand at the screen. If I could get Carol back on-line Carol could explain this much better than I. I now wanted desperately to explain.

"Listen honey, when your mother would put you into those baby girl clothes I warned her that it might leave you with a taste for such things. Obviously you've got a taste for such things," my aunt said and added, "and if you're worried about me accepting you like this, of course I do."

"I don't understand," I said.

"Never mind that. Come on and lets get you changed," my aunt said.

"I'm not wet," I answered before feeling foolish over my answer.

"Have you masturbated," my aunt asked.

"No," I said blushing at the word.

"OK, let's do that first. Get your bottle and lay over the changing pad and auntie will take care of that and then change your diaper," aunt Pat said.

"What," I asked now slightly defiant and shocked as I added, "I'm going to go change."

"No your not and if you know what's good for you, you'll do as I say," aunt Pat said in a firm voice before adding, "Carol? Carol are you still on line?"

"I'm here," Carol said as her image came into view on the screen.

"Tell him that he needs to do what I tell him to do," aunt Pat said.

"Honey, precious, it's OK. Tell you what baby, lay down on your changing pad like your aunt wants and I'll whisper sweet things at you while your aunt masturbates you, OK.

"What? How do you? I mean do you know each other," I asked as things started getting even odder.

"Of course we do. Sweetheart, I live right behind you guys. Here, tell you what, why don't I come over there and do this for you and that way your aunt can get changed and go back to work," Carol said.

"I don't understand," I said.

"It's simple baby. When your mommy went into the hospital your aunt worried that you would be traumatized over it. When I suggested she allow me to do to you what I did to her she agreed to let me at least try and if you've noticed, which I'm sure you have, you're getting along quite nicely," Carol said.

"Getting along where," I asked.

"Well, I was about to introduce you to wetting diapers so you could do that comfortably. Once you've been fully regressed and wetting your diapers, which was the last real hurdle, you would have a fall back for those bad days," Carol said.

"What are you talking about," I asked.

"Honey, I'm a psycho therapist specializing in adult regression and role playing. It's a method of relaxation that offers an individual an outlet for those extreme stressful days. I was your aunt's therapist when she suffered her incontinence after he accident. Your aunt hired me to do what I've been doing so you've got a fall back position when you feel too distraught over your mother," Carol said.

"But the sex," I yelled.

"Sex is simply another tool to be used," Carol said and added, "it's better than pills."

"But why the baby girl stuff," I asked and added, "I mean if it's just regression why not baby boy stuff?"

"Well, that a little more complicated but it boils down to the fact that baby girl stuff can be silky, ruffles, lacy and delicate. Feminine and femininity allows you to rid yourself of any potential masculine posturing. Besides, it's cute and you are adorable looking as a baby girl. Lastly, according to your aunt, your mother liked dressing you as her baby girl," Carol said.

"I don't remember any of that," I said.

"Actually, you do but it's not part of your consciousness. It's all part of your subconscious. So too your masturbation," Carol said and added, "only when you're young it's part of the bonding and not meant to be sexual."

"What," I asked.

"When babies are washed, cleaned, and changed, the genitals are manipulated. All of the nerve endings are in place and that manipulation, rather then being sexual still allows for endorphins and those endorphins are very powerful drugs. Endorphins are neurochemicals that occur naturally in the brain and have very powerful analgesic properties. It's what enhances pleasure," Carol said.

"I'm still not sure I follow any of this and I'm sure as hell not about to let my aunt masturbate me dressed as a baby girl," I said.

"Right. So lets try this shall we," Carol said and added, "I want my little Jane Doe to be a good little girl and let auntie Pat change her diapers. OK?"

I could feel the change instantly. It was as if I was suddenly watching someone else but from inside of them. I was no longer in control of myself and watched in panic as my aunt took my hand and the baby bottle by the computer. I took it easily before she guided me over to the changing pad.

I kneeled and maneuvered myself so I was sitting then laying in the right position on the changing pad. I easily tipped the bottle I held and pushed it eagerly between my lips and began nursing the rubber tit to draw the milk. I could also see and feel the dress and slip being neatly folded back to expose the panties and diaper I wore.

I could also feel the pressure of my aunt's hand now resting over the panties and diaper. My reaction was instantaneous as my penis grew immediately. My erection met the first movements of my aunt's hand and just as quickly I matched the motion.

My aunt was moving the panties and diaper over the plastic panties which were slippery enough to glide over my penis. It was bliss as I nursed the bottle with one hand while I found the edge of the dress and slip with the other. Textures, motions and taste all blended with my sight of my aunt's smiling face that suddenly matched the soft voice of Carol.

"That my precious baby," Carol said just as I felt the additional hardening of that impending explosion.

I held back as forcefully as I could but my aunt was relentless as her constant motion, now even more sensuous, came over me as the explosion formed. There was nothing to do but ride out the pleasure that took hold with the first explosive force as waves of delight kept the illogic of it all at bay. I was not a girl, nor a baby but I would try to be I mused as my aunt slowed.

I was as soft and lifeless as my penis when my aunt stopped. There really was nothing left to do but lay there quietly as my panties came down and off. Next was the thick diaper and finally those snap-on plastic pants I'd soiled. A baby wipe, two, cleaned me and another those soft plastic vinyl panties before I lifted again for the fresh diaper.

This time my aunt's hand, even as slick as it was from the baby oil did nothing to change my state. Nor did the cool light touch of the baby powder before I was swaddled in soft cotton again. This diaper was twice as thick as the one I wore. I actually hadn't yet worn it and when I'd asked I was told it was for night time.

When my aunt brought the panties back up she did so as she asked if I was hungry. I thought she had come home early to change and then return for work but she said no. She changed at work. It was simply an excuse to be there when I was fully evolved as that baby girl that Coral had created.

When I asked how Carol was able to get me to do what I'd just done she laughed and said that part was easy. Always is once boys discover how fun it is to be girls and adults - babies, she added. I was both now as Carol promised to come over to eat with us. I was both and happily as I took my aunt's hand again.

"So what now," I asked in a very mellow voice.

"Baby food for you, a sandwich for me, a fresh bottle and then I want to see if that sleeper I made fits," my aunt said as we both walked into the kitchen.