A Mixed Bag

[notababy]

So I've been on a couple other sites, but never really seemed to fit in. To start, I'm a DL. I prefer to stay dry - I've tried wetting and it's fun for the taboo, but I find it uncomfortable almost immediately after having done so. I'm certainly not into the "change me" play, either giving or receiving, if the reason is because I'm wet. Likewise, messy is out (did that once, as a kid, never enjoyed it or did it again. Nothing against AB's or DL's that enjoy this - just saying it's not me. Diapers are more a "wearable" fetish for me - I also enjoy wearing panties, and prefer fabrics other than cotton. Diapers, like panties, provide an emotional release that I just don't get elsewhere... with diapers providing more of a snuggly, secure feeling than anything else.

Recently I had the opportunity to tell the GF. I did this by wearing to bed, sleeping in them (mine was a walgreen's pullup, nothing 'special'), then us waking up together and her discovering it slowly (we often wake up tangled up together). This turned into a sexual experience between us, which was a first for me and began turning diapers sexual. Sure, I'd masturbated in diapers before, but had never shared them (or the sexual aspect) with anyone else. She was accepting but since that original encounter and one more shortly after, hasn't been encouraging (she enjoys me in panties, as she loves feeling me in different fabrics and seeing how I react differently, it's a treat for her and she's told me so).

Since that time I've purchased a sample pack of other 'real' diapers in what I hope are my size (I'm a bigger guy), but for all sorts of reasons we've not had a lot of time together, or when we did, it wasn't really 'alone' for any relaxing length of time. Well, this week we've got a week away in a hotel while spending time with family, so I packed up a couple of samples, plus a sample in her size, as I've had a sneaking suspicion that she'd enjoy wearing for the same reasons. Anyway, we got to talk about it the other night, and discuss that she hasn't been comfortable with me wearing, primarily because she doesn't understand it the same way she does the panty wearing, and she's afraid it takes away something from my emotional relationship with her. I got to explain that it doesn't, that it actually calms me down and puts me in a place to be closer, and more open emotionally, and she understands.

And the surprise? She's a thumb-sucker, and feels the same self-doubt about it I do about diapers. And she shared that. So that's where we're at, with a night in diapers and cuddling thumb-sucking likely coming up. And she's open to wearing, if only to find out what it does for her. Or for me... Maybe it'll become sexual, maybe not... but I'm looking forward to finding out either way, and to building the sort of trust that acceptance comes from.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well, I'll be the first to say hello and also there is no "cookie cutter" aspect to the fetish.culture. Everybody has their own kinks, so to speak. Just work with what works for ya.

[notababy]

Thanks for the welcome. I kind of appreciate that there's no cookie cutter... I like things some people don't and others like things I don't.

That said, tonight could be interesting. After our talk last week, we haven't had a chance to follow through, but we have talked some more and she's a lot more comfortable (or less threatened by) me wearing... and comfortable that I know about her thumb sucking. Tonight we're going to diaper each other (until now it's just been me in walgreens pullups, which didn't require her help), cuddle up and fall asleep together. Since she can't fall asleep thumb sucking (and it's not really completely practical for sleeping together snuggled up) I bought a two pack of pacis. I've never played around with the AB side of things before, but if it helps make it fun and comfortable, i'm all for it... and if not, no big deal. I'm really looking forward to going to sleep and waking up diapered, and snuggling all night long in the safety and comfort of a real diaper, not just a pullup, and looking forward to the shared emotional experience of it all.

[notababy]

Quick update... things went well. Best night's sleep I've had in a long, long time. First time my brain has finally turned off and let me rest, and I actually had REM sleep and dreams. I don't remember all of them, but at least I know I had them. And, we woke up together in a great mood and got off to the start of our respective days.

I'm certainly not a 24x7 wearer, and not an every night wearer, but the acceptance is there and now the understanding is there. In fact, she said "next time, I want a purple one, too" (mine was a purple molicare, hers was a white bambino classico).

Oh, and while it's not "my thing," sucking a paci worked for her, and it did has a calming effect on me. I can certainly see the attraction.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Quick update... things went well. Best night's sleep I've had in a long, long time. First time my brain has finally turned off and let me rest, and I actually had REM sleep and dreams. I don't remember all of them, but at least I know I had them. And, we woke up together in a great mood and got off to the start of our respective days.

I'm certainly not a 24x7 wearer, and not an every night wearer, but the acceptance is there and now the understanding is there. In fact, she said "next time, I want a purple one, too" (mine was a purple molicare, hers was a white bambino classico).

Oh, and while it's not "my thing," sucking a paci worked for her, and it did has a calming effect on me. I can certainly see the attraction.

ahh i remember trying to deny the ab side of things, heck to a degree i still do. just be forwarned once you hit the pacifier you will end up with a bottle.

[notababy]

Another update... we're married! And, the other night before the wedding, we were lying in bed talking about stress and de-stressing, and she asked if I wanted to wear a diaper (because she knows how that helps relieve stress). I replied that I was thinking about wearing a pullup (Walgreens, had a case and they're easy and cheap for those times when I don't need the whole package) but because we only had about 5 hours to sleep, it wasn't worth using a diaper. She agreed and said "if we had more time tonight, I'd join you." What a great thing to hear... so her wearing to see what it was like has turned into something she enjoys and we can enjoy together on occasion. Last time (and her first time) I was in a Molicare and her comment was "next time I want a purple one!" So, of course, I have an Abena for me (very thick!) and a Molicare for her for sometime this week/weekend. For now, we've been enjoying what she got for her bachelorette party - the black lace set she wore last night was really soft, so soft that she told me I needed to try the robe sometime (I'm a full-time panty wearer, we've shopped together, and have some sleepwear we play with as well).

So, it can happen... it just requires honesty and trust. Hope that helps encourage someone!