Urge Incontinence

[fieldmouse]

Hello....

Firstly I am writing to hopefully make new friends having found this site via Allanda and Google!

Before making this post I have read many of the articles and can see that there are people here with a wide range of conditions and problems so I can start by telling you about myself.

I am just into my 40's and was born with a bladder dysfunction. In my infancy, bedwetting and daytime 'accidents' were just put down to anxiety and stress and in my junior years I was never properly examined, apart from having a rectal probe when aged eight.

From age six I was put into council care and went through a succession of assessment centres and children's homes. So my junior years having to wear nappies was not a pleasant time, particularly at school and as you might imagine I wasn't the most popular kid to have at friends sleepovers!

At age twelve I went to a new children's home and they at least tried to address my problem by getting me to toilet-train each day so that I could wear regular underwear, this was when I got my first pack of briefs and could feel normal like other kids, still wearing the protection obviously at night.

It wasn't until my early twenties that I plucked up the courage to see a specialist, mainly because of this being one of those things that is embarrassing and that you tend to hide away, that said it has never stopped me having girlfriends and more than that, they in turn supported me and understood my problems.

When I did see a consultant I went through some rather unpleasant tests in which it showed that when reaching a certain level my bladder contracted involuntarily and heavy amounts of urine was being discharged and the bladder emptying to completion and my not being able to control the flow once I got the urge to go.

Another problem I've always had is omni-directional streaming. This is also highly embarrassing and means in the normal run of things I couldn't use a public urinal, always choosing to sit in a cubicle. I would like very much if any other men here have the same or knows anything about this to reply because this is also something that I have never asked a doctor or nurse about.

I'm still annoyed that I wasn't properly diagnosed as a child but have to say that I have never let this control my life (I control it) and I do feel like a survivor! And that's why I feel it is important to gain some empathy and support and I'm glad that there are forums around for this purpose.

In essence I would particularly like to correspond with women who have a similar condition and have to wear protection as I am interested in how this affects the opposite sex. Not seeking a girlfriend, just someone who understands all these problems and it's always good to share a problem.

At the moment I am using Tena Slip and Flex (supplied by the NHS as I'm currently not working) but in the past I have used Attends and am looking at Abena products as I have heard good things about them. I have waterproof pants also and wear these 24/7 as I've done for all these years though soon I have an appointment to see an incontinence nurse to discuss how I am now with my condition and I am told that there are pelvic floor exercises and bladder re-training that may help. I take oxybutnin tablets three times daily.

Well I thank people for reading this and hope to make some new friends here on this board.

Craig.

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

Hello....

Firstly I am writing to hopefully make new friends having found this site via Allanda and Google!

Before making this post I have read many of the articles and can see that there are people here with a wide range of conditions and problems so I can start by telling you about myself.

I am just into my 40's and was born with a bladder dysfunction. In my infancy, bedwetting and daytime 'accidents' were just put down to anxiety and stress and in my junior years I was never properly examined, apart from having a rectal probe when aged eight.

From age six I was put into council care and went through a succession of assessment centres and children's homes. So my junior years having to wear nappies was not a pleasant time, particularly at school and as you might imagine I wasn't the most popular kid to have at friends sleepovers!

At age twelve I went to a new children's home and they at least tried to address my problem by getting me to toilet-train each day so that I could wear regular underwear, this was when I got my first pack of briefs and could feel normal like other kids, still wearing the protection obviously at night.

It wasn't until my early twenties that I plucked up the courage to see a specialist, mainly because of this being one of those things that is embarrassing and that you tend to hide away, that said it has never stopped me having girlfriends and more than that, they in turn supported me and understood my problems.

When I did see a consultant I went through some rather unpleasant tests in which it showed that when reaching a certain level my bladder contracted involuntarily and heavy amounts of urine was being discharged and the bladder emptying to completion and my not being able to control the flow once I got the urge to go.

Another problem I've always had is omni-directional streaming. This is also highly embarrassing and means in the normal run of things I couldn't use a public urinal, always choosing to sit in a cubicle. I would like very much if any other men here have the same or knows anything about this to reply because this is also something that I have never asked a doctor or nurse about.

I'm still annoyed that I wasn't properly diagnosed as a child but have to say that I have never let this control my life (I control it) and I do feel like a survivor! And that's why I feel it is important to gain some empathy and support and I'm glad that there are forums around for this purpose.

In essence I would particularly like to correspond with women who have a similar condition and have to wear protection as I am interested in how this affects the opposite sex. Not seeking a girlfriend, just someone who understands all these problems and it's always good to share a problem.

At the moment I am using Tena Slip and Flex (supplied by the NHS as I'm currently not working) but in the past I have used Attends and am looking at Abena products as I have heard good things about them. I have waterproof pants also and wear these 24/7 as I've done for all these years though soon I have an appointment to see an incontinence nurse to discuss how I am now with my condition and I am told that there are pelvic floor exercises and bladder re-training that may help. I take oxybutnin tablets three times daily.

Well I thank people for reading this and hope to make some new friends here on this board.

Craig.

Wow! I'm so sorry you had to go through hell when you were a child. I feel bad that you were treated so horribly. I'm so thankful I did not have those experiences. My parents were great, and I was over everyone's houses. I was pretty popular in school. When I hear things like this, it not only makes me thankful for what I had but sad for those who did nothave such luck.

I hope that you find friends here, and I hope that thihngs are better for you. If you want to know more about me, check my introduction in the Baby Nursery.

[fieldmouse]

Wow! I'm so sorry you had to go through hell when you were a child. I feel bad that you were treated so horribly. I'm so thankful I did not have those experiences. My parents were great, and I was over everyone's houses. I was pretty popular in school. When I hear things like this, it not only makes me thankful for what I had but sad for those who did nothave such luck.

I hope that you find friends here, and I hope that thihngs are better for you. If you want to know more about me, check my introduction in the Baby Nursery.

Thanks, yes I would like to know more about you.... first you're the only one who replied thus far! How do I check out the Baby Nursery (forgive my ignorance LOL)

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

Thanks, yes I would like to know more about you.... first you're the only one who replied thus far! How do I check out the Baby Nursery (forgive my ignorance LOL)

You know how you went to that Baby Nursery to make an introduction? It is the same place. How you get there is that you go to the forum home--correctly called Board Home--and then the first forum is the Baby Nursery. My thread is the first one on top right now. If that changes, it is titled, "Want to Introduce Myself." And, of course, my name is on it. In that thread, I tell a lot about myself. I hope you find it. Write back and let me know what you think. I have a few questions, and I feel strange asking them, but I want to.

Was it strange being toilet trained at twelve?

Was it done the same way as a toddler, like did they praise you and stuff like that?

Were you able to be successful in achieving dryness during the day after your training, or did you ave accidents? If you had accidents, how did they deal with you?

I'm eager to hear your experiences and learn more, as it is very unique. As for me, I've not been toilet trained due to my parents deciding not to with the doc agreeing because my urinary tract was not developed correctly. Due to the fact it did not develop as it should, I'd never have use of it or control it. My bowels, as far as I know are fine, but they skipped the potty training altogether as they did not want to frustrate me as a kid. I always wondered if I could achieve the use of my bowels but probably think it is impossible since I've never been trained to use them, and I'm now twenty-seven years of age.

I feel like there is a window of opportunity for that stuff similar to the development of a child. A child has a certain amount of time to learn basic things such as how to talk and function. If that window of opportunity is passed, they can't learn to their full potential. You've probably heard of the nature versus nurture debate. And if you are a psychology junkie like me, you've probably heard of the story about the girl Jeannie who was tied to a potty for thirteen years of her life and never given attention or talked to. And let's also say that you've probably heard of the story called, "The Girl in the Window." In both of these cases, these children suffered severe neglect and were not able to acquire the skills that children their age do. Hence, they are now mentally retarded, not because they were born that way. It is because they were Made that way. So again, I wonder if the same goes for toilet training. I'm curious to see if I could have control of my bowels since it is my urinary tract that is not developed correctly. But, being that it is so many years, I'm not quite sure.

Sorry for going on like that. Just thought I'd share.

[fieldmouse]

No problem, thanks Pollyanna for asking and I'll answer best I can.

First off, being toiler-trained at twelve? Obviously I was tried in my early infant years but like I said, being brought up in council care wasn't a ball. Okay I felt isolated even now I do to some degrees, the only other kids I ever met who were in nappies like me were autistic or mentally-impaired so for that reason, I had briefs before 12 but could never or rather wasn't allowed to wear them, it was just that at least in that new childrens home they did try and get me into proper undies in the daytime. You might imagine a lot of teasing during school years though i have to say one thing, I was quite popular with older girls in the sense that when i was under ten many older girls would be fascinated and like to change my nappy (curiosity and an easy access I think looking back to get a free look at my willy etc), so there are all kinds of idiosyncracies and stigma that came alongside my main medical issue which was that when i got the urge to GO I had no control so still annoyed that it wasn't dealt with before.

Please PM me if i have forgotten to address any of your other questions!

Craig.