Just Want To Know Your Thoughts....

[tk11]

I'm not even 21 yet, have honestly not been with a girl or a guy, so I'm still a virgin. At times I think I'm straight, other times gay, and other times bisexual...yet even sometimes asexual. I have two very strong fetishes that I've had for as long as I can remember (and started to develop around 2nd grade or at least that was when I first realized I wanted to be diapered and treated like a baby). I know the exact moment and from what I remember I have no traumatizing experience, wanting to wear diapers at a young age, or any parent issue. I just feel like I've always had this fetish.

When I went through puberty I didn't really think of sex but really just thought of wearing diapers (and that still continues today). However it has developed (and I've discovered) that it really is the need to be dominated. I want a man or woman to have control over me and diaper me and be in control.

I've been rather frustrated with myself. Lately my fantasies and ideas have developed that sex could be involved but only after I was dominated, but I don't think I would enjoy being abused or handcuffed or more of the normal dominatrix ideas. I guess I'd rather almost be humiliated by my sexual partner, to basically not be treated like a regular adult. However again I can't see to get sexually aroused without my fetishes (which makes me think I'm asexual). Yet I do have fantasies that always involve another person (which makes me think I'm not asexual) and again I can picture myself having sex but only after the initial foreplay.

I am only 20 so I'm not to worried at this point about not having sex, but I also think time to time what if nothing happens in the next 20 years and I'm still single and a 40 year old virgin. I have no problem being gay, bisexual, or straight...yet being asexual seems kind of sad. Many people on here seem to enjoy sex with diapers as a second aspect. However mine is the other way around. Or at least it might be. I also wonder if I am just so into diapers and my fetishes that I screwed myself up somehow around 13 and 14 and didn't think about partners until recently and that I somehow stunted my sexual preference to having a partner. I've thought of going to a sex therapist to maybe help myself become more excited with actual intercourse, but I feel like I would be embarassed. Quite frankly I get a tingly feeling when I think about it but cannot get aroused. I'm not one of those people who sign on here trying to get rid of this fetish, because I don't, but I'm just curious as to what makes me tick (which I know is personal for everybody).

So my question is am I kidding myself for thinking I could have a partner? Is their anyone who have been in healthy relationships who think of being diapered or treated as a baby first before the sex aspect comes in? And do the asexual people on here think about other people when they get aroused?

This was very tough for me to write, I usually just lurk, but hopefully I can get some helpful thoughts or advice.

[diaprbayb]

May sound corney but hang in there. I didn't have my first partner till I was 21. in fact it was a birthday present.

[tk11]

I'll hang in there, again I'm not like depressed or anything, just curious with why I am the way that I am. If the past year was any indication I've become a stronger person and have branched out more in possible romantic relationships.

I think their was another post concerned about attention seekers and those asking for advice just to get sympathy and attention, just want to say that this isn't one of those posts and I hope it isn't looked at as that.

[tris]

I started some of those, and it was mostly aimed at the folks with outlandish or extreme circumstances, and claims to their supposed truth/actuality.

You sound pretty legit, though.

I've experienced something similar to what you describe, although I lost my virginity at 17 like everyone else. Seriously, just catch up. Most guys who are gay don't know for sure that they're gay until they've at least TRIED to hit it.

I'd give you two options to solve your ish: First, try it. Kiss a guy, kiss a girl. Fuck a chick. . . eh, do whatever you boys do these days, I'm not interested in the details, per se.

Afterward, go talk to a someone about your feelings on both, and what's going on inside your head. Trust me, you'll feel ALOT better, and you'll have a better idea of what to do next.

And besides, it's the BEST part of the human experience, so wrap it up tight and go out into the night!

[Morv]

The following is "to the best of my understanding," which is a kind way to say that I payed someone on the street $15 to think for me.

1) You're not asexual. Asexual does not involve getting arounsed situationally. It means not sexual; in other words, nothing turns on a person who is asexual.

2) Getting aroused only when you're thinking about/involved with a particular item/ritual is the strictest definition of having a fetish. If you want sexual arousal normally and not being able to get aroused normally bothers you, it means that you suffer from fetishism, a particular form of paraphilia. The only reason I use the word "suffer" is that you don't seem to desire it.

3) Gay? Straight? Bi? Won't know that unless you have sex with someone. Given the current necessity of your fetish (diapers/domination/humiliation) for arousal, this means you have three options to figure out if you're gay/straight/bi.

a) Work with a therapist (or mayor for all I care) to enable yourself to have a normal sex life. Then go have some sex and figure this out.

Find someone who will dominate/humiliate you as you desire. Have some sex. Decide if its better with man or woman.

c) Guess.

4) Given that you have no strong preference either way, it would seem that you are leaning toward bi, but that's hard make a difinitive judgement on.