I Feel Horrible About This Sometimes

[LightFolf]

I know psychology isn't for everyone, but I told my psychologist yesterday, and I feel a LOT better. It was damn hard to do--I think I've been working up to it for almost a year. But I finally did it, and she reacted exactly as if I had told her something that we consider to be more "normal."

She said that this sort of thing makes sense, and she said nothing to indicate that I shouldn't be doing it or that I should cut back.

Before I told her any of it, since I was so apprehensive, she asked me a couple of questions that were I guess her criteria as to whether or not it was something to be concerned about. The second was a situationally more specific version of the first, so here's what I'd suggest asking yourself:

Are you engaging in any self-destructive behaviors?

For me, it was easy to say that I'm not. Feeling guilty about something I don't think would make it a self-destructive behavior.

One of the things that has made me uneasy, too, has been interaction with other AB/DLs, specifically one online who has pressured me to do stuff, and who is also quite a bit older than me. On a personal level, I'm not very comfortable with huge age gaps in anything more than a friendship (I have good friends the same age as my parents). It's a personal thing, though, that this guy has made me uncomfortable at times, not a general statement. Anyway, I find I get uncomfortable about one kink or another I have because of other people who share it, but make me feel uncomfortable in one way or another. Maybe you've had a similar experience, with someone else who was into it doing something you weren't comfortable with.

This is all my personal experience, tho...I feel like I could put in one of those disclaimers: "individual results may vary. No checks or CODs."

[Pipsqueak]

One of the things that has made me uneasy, too, has been interaction with other AB/DLs, specifically one online who has pressured me to do stuff, and who is also quite a bit older than me. On a personal level, I'm not very comfortable with huge age gaps in anything more than a friendship (I have good friends the same age as my parents).

One thing I've learned over time is that you should always trust what your "gut" is telling you. If you're feeling uneasy then somewhere in that complex brain of yours you're picking up a danger signal. If you ignore that feeling because you think you're just being silly, you usually end up kicking yourself later. Don't hang out with anyone who makes you uncomfortable.

And congratulations on telling your psychologist!

[LightFolf]

One thing I've learned over time is that you should always trust what your "gut" is telling you. If you're feeling uneasy then somewhere in that complex brain of yours you're picking up a danger signal. If you ignore that feeling because you think you're just being silly, you usually end up kicking yourself later. Don't hang out with anyone who makes you uncomfortable.

And congratulations on telling your psychologist!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks! In many ways it's reward enough between the relief of having finally told my shrink, and knowing that it's something I can discuss with her now, as it seems to have become a slightly larger part of me, especially recently. It's always nice to hear encouraging stuff, tho (especially right now with a lot of other, unrelated crap going on with me).

I've gotten pretty good "creep-dar" by now. Thankfully I've only met one or two creeps in person, and only had one experience, not really a creep, that went somewhere it probably shouldn't have...but nothing bad happened, live and learn. Or maybe it's the other way around. Anyway... I figure that I've got it working pretty well when I can have a decent looking guy telling me he's into me and stuff, and I don't feel right, and I say so (even if it's awkwardly). I just need to get better at pushing the "block" button without feeling bad about it or being worried that they'll confront me via another name.