Baby Tickles Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 I realise this isn't a forum for poetry but as there isn't a dedicated one, this will have to do. Anyway below is a poem I wrote during a rather hard and dark period in my life. It's a story of love, love lost, murder and suicide. Constructive comments only please, any insulting remarks, please keep them to yourselves. A Darkest Hour Eyes that sparkle like stars on the face of the night Tempting fate with a smile that haunts wandering minds eye Plucking dreams with all that might Sends hearts into flutter of colour butterfly A taunted face with pained expression Watches loves enjoy a nether region A desperate thought makes vain decision Be with and heal deepest incision Creative hands mould ideal world Utopia in a twisted frame A deadly sin, a plan unfurls Oh God a way to end this game Broken heart racked with guilt Tears of sorrow, come what may Fallen angles bed of silt Self pittied equity ends this day. Link to comment
Baby Tickles Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 What's this? So many viewers and no replies? Link to comment
Guest katiekat01 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 it is good i like it, tho it is sort of meloncholy -heather Link to comment
kittykatie Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 i like it too, it certainly reflects the title - more please, maybe you will inspire others to write some too - katie Link to comment
smarti Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 it's good, if a litttle hard to get. One you do get it, it all falls into place. Link to comment
Baby Tickles Posted May 5, 2008 Author Share Posted May 5, 2008 Thanks for those comments and all three of you are very right, yes it is melancholy but then it is meant to be, but thanks Katie. Kitty, yes it does reflect the title and it was a very hard and dark time when I wrote this; actually my heart had not just been broken but blasted into little pieces. Smarti you're right too, it is hard to get until you get it then it falls into place. The first verse is the love, the second is the love lost, third is murder and the forth is the suicide. I hope others will now write; I've asked DD for a dedicated forum for poetry so hopefully we'll have somewhere to put them. Thanks again and I really glad you all (in particular) liked it. Link to comment
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