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‘Now?’ Chapter 1 (part) ‘Now?’ asked Chris, looking anxiously at his wife and simultaneously feeling a small, nervous spurt of pee escape into his adult pull-ups. ‘You didn’t say anything about that.’ ’No, I didn’t,’ replied Anthea. ‘I’m actually quite busy, and I honestly don’t see the need to keep you informed of everything in my diary.’ Anthea spoke without taking her attractively made up eyes from the road. She looked like what she was - the house legal counsel for a large software developer. Her husband’s former employer. Chris turned and looked again at his wife as she drove her smart European coupe out of the mall car park, towards not home but some unknown destination where Chris would have to endure another ‘expert’ peering into the details of his life. His life now, thought Chris miserably, not his life then. He moved his hips to get comfortable on the slippery leather of the car seat. He wet slightly again, and knew by feel that his various little leaks that morning had added up to a wet pull-up that now needed changing. Chris felt the familiar, rising sense of feeling sorry for himself and also needing help from Anthea. Anthea had a sixth sense about the condition of Chris’s underclothing, whether it was the pull-ups he wore for trips out, or the disposable diapers he wore at night. With the briefest glance in Chris’s direction, she asked him if he needed changing. ‘Yes,’ said Chris quietly, catching his breath as he attempted to stifle a sob. He couldn’t help it sometimes. Anthea was so perfect compared to him. She had a big job and was the breadwinner. She had lots of colleagues and friends, while Chris’s world and contacts had shrunk to home, Anthea and the few people who knew the couple well enough to know about Chris’s condition. He wasn’t even sure some of the people Anthea dealt with knew she was married. ‘You can change when we get there,’ said Anthea. Chris looked down at the familiar blue bag at his feet in the carpeted footwell. It was a diaper bag, like mothers had for their babies and toddlers. But it was his diaper bag. He knew what was in it. Two or three pull-ups, a couple of disposables, plastic pants, horrible, embarrassing smelling talc, plus wipes and a few creams. There would also be a change of outer pants for Chris, whatever Anthea had chosen for him. He hadn’t chosen what he wore for so long now, Chris thought. He looked down over the denim bib of his shortfalls to the slight bulge in the vee of his crotch, where the stitching of the fake fly curved down between his legs. He didn’t even look male any more down there, he thought, and his feelings of self pity and need overcame him. He released the remainder of his pee into his pull-up and gave way to the sobbing he’d tried to suppress. He reached across the car and clutched a handful of his wife’s expensive woollen skirt, feeling the slippery layers of satin lining and Anthea’s pantyhose beneath. ‘Oh, honey, please,’ said Anthea, carefully prising Chris’s fingers from her skirt but still holding his hand. ‘We haven’t got time for this.’ Chris knew she meant she didn’t have time for this. Chris had lots of time. It wasn’t really his time, though. Not now. Now, Anthea usually decided how Chris would spend his time. He was 27 years old, a ‘former executive’ even if he had trouble now remembering what he actually did, and now his wife decided how he spent his time. And what he wore. He knew his shortalls were practical. They stopped wet pull-ups from sagging, they were comfortable and easy to get in and out of. Chris had objected to them at first as too childish, but Anthea said he’d get used to them. Which he did. He’d learned that there was no point arguing with Anthea. back soon

A Changed Man Chapter 1 Sue stood in the laundry, looked closely at the pair of Joe's briefs in her hand. She sighed, and put them aside to soak. She stared out of the window for a moment, looking over the unkempt back lawn. She felt hopeless. Since Joe had been reassigned to contract work, not only had his work become erratic, and his income reduced, but he had been even less responsible around the house than before, despite being at home for days at a time. The garden was deteriorating, and Sue felt that she was the only one who ever picked anything up around the house. Often, she felt like shouting at Joe. But he was the man of the house. That was a hurdle Sue found hard to overcome. The stained underwear was too much. Sue rang her friend Gil. ------- The two friends were soon at the local coffee shop. 'Maybe he's not lazy, Gil,' said Sue. 'Maybe he's depressed, with work and all. That could be behind everything.' Gil looked at her friend. Gil was a few years older than Sue. Sue had worked under Gil as a nurse, and Gil had a soft spot for the younger woman. Gil had moved into psychiatric nursing, and now supervised a facility for people with various problems. 'Maybe,' replied Gil, 'But I don't think so. I think the problem may be kind of inherent in your personalities.' 'What?' said Sue, alarmed. 'What do you mean? Do you think I...' Gil laughed. 'It's nothing out of the ordinary,' she said. 'Our society is set up for men to lead marriages. That suits a lot of couples, but not all. I'm not sure it suits you two, from what I've seen.' 'Lead?' said Sue. 'We're sort of together. I know you know us quite well, so what have you seen? You've never mentioned this.' 'You've never complained,' said Gil, 'And it's not my place to interfere if you're getting on ok. But I can see you're unhappy, and Joe doesn't sound to content either, so if you want, I can give you an idea if an alternative. I can show you another way.' Sue stared at Gil. 'You have my attention,' she said with a grin. 'What other way? I'm intrigued.' Gil smiled. 'OK,' she said. 'Let's go for a walk.' They left the coffee shop and walked into the main concourse of the mall. 'Let's just look at people,' she said. 'They're mostly women and children here, but they'll do for an illustration.' 'What do you mean?' asked Sue. 'It's about who takes the lead,' Gil said. 'Put simply, who's in charge.' Sue thought about what she'd just said about she and Joe being sort of together, equal in their marriage.she wondered what Gil had in mind. 'OK,' said Gil. 'Let's play a game. Well look at a couple or group, and you tell me who's in charge, who is taking the lead. Well start over there, mum in red top.' Sue looked at the young mum ordering her little daughter to hurry up. The daughter immediately did as she was told. 'That's easy,' she said. 'The mother.' 'Yep,' said Gil. 'Now this lot,' she said, pointing to a noisy group of teenaged girls. Sue watched them for a minute. 'No one's in charge there,' she laughed. 'In fact they're all arguing about what to do next. 'Precisely,' said Gil. 'They don't mind, but from an efficiency point of view, it's hopeless, and if they were all married to each other, they'd be in trouble.' The next group Gil pointed out was a mother with a female friend and three children. They had finished shopping and the children, two girls and a boy, were straggling. The mother called to one of the girls who responded quickly and rejoined the group. She called several times with no effect to the boy who was wandering off, then resorted to catching up with him and delivering a sharp swat to his backside, which together with an order to hurry up, got him moving. 'See how it works?' Gil said. Sue laughed. 'Yes,' she said, 'But I'm not a mum and I could hardly spank him! Joe's not a child.' 'Not chronologically, perhaps,' said Gil seriously. 'This is about the dynamics of the marriage. The best distribution of power. Have you heard of a female led marriage?' 'No,' said Sue. The subject sounded serious, but interesting. Something attracted Sue to the idea of power in her marriage. 'Come to the clinic,' said Gil. 'I'll show you some things. Tomorrow at 10am? ' 'OK,' said Sue. The clinic where Gil worked was just out of town. Sue often passed its high wall and imposing facade. 'See you there,' replied Gil as the two women parted. Sue felt a pleasant buzz of expectation as she walked to her car. To be continued