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"Goodnight you two! Have a nice break!" "Thank you! We will!" Jack replied to his departing parents. He grasped his girlfriend, Jill, in his arms as they both waved goodbye, then shut the front door. It was the first week of summer vacation from university. His parents were going on their own vacation, and his summer job didn't start for another three weeks. That meant.. "Well hello there sweetheart. It seems we have the house all to ourselves," Jill said, as she turned toward him and hugged him tight. He looked down at her head and kissed her soft brown hair, then leaned back and lifted her off the ground. "WHOAH!" she shouted, and laughed as he swung her. "Careful! Don't drop me!" Arguably there was a risk. She was shorter then he was, and thin, but not by too much. His relatively short stature and narrow build wasn't great for swinging people around with confidence. He settled her down and they stared at each other- her blue eyes meeting their brown. Suddenly, he laughed. "Soooo house party?" he said. She laughed with him and put a hand on his chest. "Maybe, but not right now. I want a weekend with us alone," she winked at him when she said that, and he smiled and nodded. "Also, there is something I want to try tonight." "Ooooo something fun? Something kinky?" He asked. She rolled her eyes. "Well, it can be. But not what I mean. Come on, I want to show you, its up in our bags." She took him by the hand and lead him up stairs, towards the bedrooms. The house wasn't huge, but was big enough to comfortably fit a family. The floors were all carpeted, and the bright yellow walls and decorations matched his parents slighted dated tastes. His was the last on the left in a hall of three doors. It was still very much a "teenager" bedroom, as he hadn't stayed in it regularly since leaving for college. Having met Jill there, he hadn't been planning his weekends to sleep in a bed where his parents could hear him. However, that wasn't where they were heading. "Wait, I'm thirsty. Can I get a glass of water before we do anything?" Jack pointed to the bathroom. "I don't want to be dehydrated and not be able to... you know..." She rolled her eyes. "We aren't doing that yet. Come on!" She pulled him into the second door, the spare bedroom. While his parents were well aware of what university students would do when alone together, they liked to at least PRETEND that their plans weren't obvious. So, in order to keep the appearance up, Jill had been officially exiled to the spare bedroom. This, however, lead to some other issues. "I still can't believe they want to do this," Jack said. "I think its cute!" Jill replied. "They want a bigger family!" "You don't think they are too old?" "No, not by half. Plenty of people do it later in life now. We live so much longer then we used to, its perfectly fine." "I know, but still," Jack shook his head. "What?" She giggled and smiled at him. "Say what you reaalllly mean." "Was I not good enough?" he asked. "And THERE it is. I'm sure you were a perfectly fine baby. You're cute enough anyway." "Oh stop," he waved. "Nah, I'd have loved to see it! You'd have been so cute to take care of!" she pinched his cheek. The room in front of them looked nothing like it did before Jack moved out. Before, it had been a plain, simply spare bedroom. A single queen bed, a night stand with a lamp, and an empty set of drawers. That was before his parents decide they wanted another baby. Now, along with the spare bed, there was an crib, diaper changing table, and a box piled high with toys. They were planning on re-painting the walls as well, but said they would wait until they found out the gender of the baby, a position Jack had held himself back from commenting on. The room now served two functions- a bedroom waiting for any adults to visit, and a nursery waiting for a baby to be born. "Its also, I don't know..." Jack considered his words. "Premature. They don't even know if she's pregnant yet." "Yeah, kind of," Jill said, then shrugged. "So they got excited. They said they found a good deal on the stuff. Besides, don't you want a baby brother? I always thought it would be fun. Jack shuddered. "Ugh. You mean someone to cry all night, mewl and demand food, and crap themselves? No, I really don't want to experience that. I DREAD the day my parents ask me to babysit. I aint changing no poopy diapers!" "Haha double negative!" He only glared at her. "Oh come on, it wouldn't be that bad. I've actually been considering taking up babysitting as a part time job." Jack was shocked. "Really? Why? You WANT to do that? It seems to annoying and gross and exhausting." She waved a hand. "Nah, it can't be that bad. Really even changing diapers wouldn't be terrible. I just need someone to practice with. You know, figure it out in a safe environment where I won't hurt the baby." "No. Just... no. You can have fun with that if you want. If I ever have kids, it won't be for a LOONNGG while." Jill shrugged. "Alright, suit yourself." They paused for a moment and looked around the nursery. Each imagined a baby crawling around it, and each forming a completely different opinion of how it would feel. "So what was it you wanted to show me?" Jack asked. "RIGHT. Come here, I have something for you." she walked to the bed, grabbed the bright pink suit case she had brought, and opened it up. She ruffled through piles of clothes and underwear, throwing them onto the bed. Jack reached down and grabbed an escaped pair of pink panties. "Hmmm hot. I hope this wasn't the thing "for me," unless you are planning on wearing them. I mean I'm game if you want to try, but that isn't my thing." She raised her eyebrows. "Really?" "I'm just saying I love all your skimpy underwear but I think they would look better on your butt then mine." She scoffed and grabbed them. "That isn't what I wanted to show you." He faked a pout. "Aww no? I was getting excited now." "Wh.." "So I DON"T get to see you in underwear? Or do you have some for me to try on?" "You'll see me in my underwear a LOT, ok, just not now you horny dick. THIS is what I wanted to show you!" she brought out a box. It was white, with a red and black hypnosis wheel drawn on it. "Practical Low-cost Objective-Based Technology Presents-The Instant Hypnotizer!" She read. "Huh..." he looked at it carefully. "You want to try hypnosis?" "Uh huh," she replied. "Just got it, and I figured it would be a fun game to try. Come on, lets turn it on!" she opened the box and took out a large wheel with a handle and trigger. "It says it comes with a battery, and can be charged in the wall when it dies. Its supposed to be able to hypnotize people in seconds! "Mhmm.... I mean... that sounds a bit dangerous. Do you really know what you are doing?" She shrugged. "Ah, what's the worse that could happen?" "I don't know! I just would think we should look this up first, or have someone whose done it before, or something like that. Does it have an instruction booklet." She looked in the box. "Oh yes, yes, here are the instructions. Ahem." She pointed a finger on the side of the cardboard. "It says, 'Jack, stop being such a pussy. Play this game with your girlfriend, and you might get lucky tonight.' Ah, wise advice." Jack quickly went from unimpressed to smiling. "Ah! Sounds great." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, all guys are the same. Alright, what should we do first?" "I don't know, pick something. Just do it quickly, I'm getting excited." "Riiiiggghhttt..." she reached to the machine and started to turn a dial. "And by "excited," you mean your dick is excited, right? Alright, lets see..." She pointed it at him. "Ready?" "Ready," he smiled. She clicked a button, and it began to whirl. Lights flashed, and a low buzzing sound filled the air. Jack's eyes went wide and focused on the center of it. When it stopped, he was left motionless, eyes blank, mouth open and drooling. Jill chuckled. "Alright. When I snap my fingers, you are going to act like you're a little baby and I'm your mommy until it wears off." She snapped her fingers. "Goo," Jack said. He fell backwards and sat flat on the ground. "Goo." Jill put her hands on the side of her face and began to laugh. "Oh. My. God. Did this actually work? Jack, can you hear me?" He looked up at her. "Awo?" he asked. "Oh my god, it really did work! And what gets you out?" She snapped her fingers in his face. "MMMPA!" he said at the fingers, and began sucking on them. She laughed. "Alright, so it isn't' that. She lifted the box. "Instant hypnosis. If no signal is established during opening moments, will run out in preset times depending on the setting. All right! Looks like I'm your babysitter until it wears out! Ready to be my baby!" "Awogala!" "HMMM I never liked the taste of arugula, no matter how healthy they say it is. What else you got?" "UUMA!" he replied, raising his hands for a hug. She knelt down. "Awww, of course I'll hug my baby. What a good boy, mommies here!" She hugged him. After a moment, she let go. "Waaa?" He asked, sounding upset, and clung tight. He pulled her down closer. "Its ok baby boy, mommies just, ooff you're strong," she tried to push off one of his arms but couldn't. She reached around and patted his back. "There there baby boy, mommy will be back in a moment, just... Offf... WHY ARE YOU SO STRONG?" "Cooo, coo," he lectured her as he hugged her. She tried to stand up against what she now realized was a full adults strength coupled with an infants mentality. The two together were NOT a good combination. She managed to undo one of his arms. "WAAAHHH!" he immediately began screaming. "OK OK OK OK," she said, and hugged him again. The screaming stopped. "Just, please don't pinch me like that. OW! I said STOP PINCHING! Let me just, hmmm..." she looked around the room. The bed would be no help in his current mindset, and neither would any of her electronics. However, in the corner was a toy box. She reasoned that if she could make it there, she could find something to distract her now baby-brained boyfriend. She took a step, but found he was still holding tight, and hard to move. "Want a toy?" she asked. "Awwoo!" he smiled in agreement. "Good baby. Then we just gotta go over there, alright?" she pointed toward the toy box. "UHHH!" he laughed. She began to move toward it but couldn't. To her dismay, she realized that he expected her to carry him. She sighed, and reached down. She had commented earlier that it must be hard for him to lift her. However, it was FAR more difficult to do the same to him. He sat in confusion as she struggled to pick him up, swung him a few inches to the left, and dropped him again, panting. She moved, reached down, and repeated the process. It was a long, slow job, but finally she made it. She grabbed a teddy bear and handed it to him, and his arms instantly released her to cling to it. He leaned back on the ground and rolled around, gurgling in joy with his new toy. "Alright, well that was a bit cold. No no, don't worry, I don't mind that you clearly like the teddy bear more then me." He looked at her. "Za?" he said, and reached a single hand. "No no no no," she pointed at the bear. "Play with him! Play with him!" He turned his attention back to the toy. She sighed and ruffled his hair. "Alright, I don't know how long this is going to last, but I might as well get my practice in." she said. She walked back to her bags and reached in. "Well, you WERE interested in the underwear I brought and DID say you were willing to wear some of it if I wanted you to, and I do want you to wear these." She laughed. "Of course, its not like you could have guessed I brought them, but I don't think you can mind that now." The package she brought out was made with clear plastic. Inside were a dozen adult diapers. Like most adult diapers they were white, but unlike most they had friendly looking savanna animals on them. "Safari," they were called, and she was glad she had found them online. She had gone back and forth between trying to buy a store brand and ordering online before deciding the latter was less embarrassing, and was glad she did. "Come on baby boy! Lets get your diapie on!" she said. She walked down to him and bent over to undo his pants. She laughed. "Since your such a baby now we probably should before you have an accident." She paused. She realized that it could be a very real possibility, depending on how long the hypnosis lasted. She looked at her fully grown adult boyfriend, rolling around mindlessly on the ground like a baby, unaware of anything except his teddy bear. She had heard what it was like to change a real baby's diaper, how they often tried to crawl away, or went more half way through. She remembered the strength he had displayed when he clung to her. With a fully grown adult who was convinced he was a baby, changing a diaper would be FAR more difficult. She shrugged. That was a problem for later, and if anything it would still be the practice she wanted. She finished undoing his pants. "Ok sweetie, lets get these off so we can put on your diaper." She laughed again. "Oh boy, you are going to FREAK when you snap out of it and see what you're wearing." She began to pull, and he began to kick playfully. At least, it was meant to be playful. She could tell from his smiling and giggling that he thought it was funny. However, it was one thing when a 20 pound baby kicked playfully. It was another thing entirely when a 180 pound adult did. "AWWOOO SHUSHAH FUU!" he said, kicking. "You trying to make me a secure password?" she said. She began to hold down his legs, but he struggled more and made more sounds. "Come on, bad baby! You gotta... hey... OW!" she said finally, leaning back and clutching her head. As soon as she got one of his feet out of a pant leg, his foot flew up and kicked her forehead. While it wasn't bleeding, it still stung. She glared down at him, and he smiled back at her, unaware of any problem. "Oshhaaa?" he asked, and giggled again.

Went to a three day rock concert this past weekend and now i'm even worse than before. Anxiety is up, disappointment in people and I just want to quit fighting it all. Why get better if everyone else stays the same? The world isn't going to change so why should I have to put up with it in a "healthy way". Maybe I'm just too sensitive but knowing how rude and mean this world is just has me down. I cut again, haven't done it in a couple months. Even TWLOHA was there. Even bought a shirt, but now... My therapist told me it's only temporary but now I don't even want to climb out of this. It's safer here. How can I be doing so well and just fall apart so fast? It's scary that i'm comfortable here. I down played how I really felt today at my appointment. I don't want to be back in the hospital. I think it may be that I'm off one of my meds due to me once again forgetting to order them. Even Daddy isn't helping. His birthday is tomorrow and i'm trying to hide this from him too. I just feel drained by everyone around me. I'm not getting whatever it is i'm supposed to get and i'm sick of searching for it. Is this normal in recovery?