Ketcher

The knowing tone in Hailey’s voice only deepened the blush on James’ face when she announced that he needed a diaper change. He held still while she unbuttoned his sleeper and pulled it back, revealing the printed white padding that had obviously swelled from his nighttime wetting. Hailey knew him better than he knew himself. She had put him back in diapers knowing he would wet the bed and he had proved her right before he could ever make a case for himself. Years of punishing himself for failing to control such a basic thing, now he wasn’t even expected to try. It was punishment, but he wanted it. “So we get to keep going?” On the bed in only a diaper, James looked up at Hailey and searched her face for a change of expression. A sign of regret. But he found nothing. “Just for a day or two.” He assured her, to assure himself. “However long you want. I know we can’t keep doing- you know. I can’t-“ Her words silence him. She reaches out to him, picks him up, holds him over her shoulder with a hand under his diapered bottom like he was nothing more than an infant. Instantly he relaxes. “Okay, Mommy.” The pacifier dangles from his fingers as he’s carried down the hall. James only sees the bedroom getting further away. He slips the binky into his mouth and relaxes. They stop in front of a door. He hears it being opened. Then something metal being unlatched. As Hailey steps into the room he sees it’s a baby gate, and that’s just the beginning. Baby blue walls with white trim. A white wooden crib with a mobile overhead, baby toys attached to the side. A rocking chair by the window. And a changing table he’s laid upon as his eyes widen with awe. All he could manage was a couple stunned suckles and a muffled word behind his binky. “Haiwey…”

James stirred at Hailey’s touch. The sound of her voice made him turn his head. His eyes cracked open to squint through the light, the binky still bobbing up and down in his mouth. The baby had been out like a light within minutes of being put down. He hadn’t slept so good in years. No early morning alarms, no cold showers, no breakfast to-go. He smiled drearily. His brain hadn’t quite caught up with the events of the day before. It had all happened so fast, and he was soon reminded when Hailey’s hand travelled down to his diaper for a morning check. Instantly his face went red as the wet padding was pressed against him and his eyes turned away guiltily. “Uh-uh” He tried to deny it. He didn’t know why. He was so warm in the bed, he didn’t want to leave it. But one touch to the front of his sleeper proved he couldn’t stay dry through the night. Luckily his diapers were meant to hold much more than one wetting. Embarrassed, the baby brought a hand to his face and pulled out his pacifier with a tiny pop and tried to change the subject, asking in a soft voice “Do you have to go to work today?” What he meant to say was what time did Hailey have to work, but what came out betrayed his heart and his hope that she would stay and continue as they had the night before.

As James looked up at Hailey’s nurturing smile he could feel the tension drain from his body. He felt so small. Her soft voice, her protection, her love. Her calming words repeated angelically in his mind. No need to worry about all that adult stress. Let yourself relax and become a baby again. My baby. A smile reaches his puffy eyes, her thumb wiping away the remnants of tears from his infantile breakdown. Vulnerable on his back, embarrassed by his state but accepting that he needed it. A bit of pee dribbles into his diaper. James stops himself at first. There’s a stumble in his suckling. Panic and shame redden his face. He’d had accidents before but never during the day! They only happened at night, only when he truly relaxed. The realization hits him. He was relaxed. James looks into Hailey’s eyes, his best friend, his mommy, and finally lets himself go. Warmth spreads across his crotch as his diaper swells and brings a blush to his cheeks while she praises for being a baby. It was mortifying, humiliating, and simultaneously the best feeling he had ever felt. As his bottle runs dry it’s eased from his mouth, leaving behind a bit of spittle and a dreamy smile on his boyish face. Next thing he knows he’s being lifted into her arms. One hand across his back, the other under his diaper. James opens his mouth to admit it but is greeted with his pacifier and the question he was just about to answer. All he can manage is a muffled coo as he’s brought to the bedroom for a change. Laid upon the bed, James turns his head to watch Hailey retrieve a new diaper. The quiet chup-chup-chup of his binky accompanies the ripping of the tapes and the crinkle of the new diaper as it’s unfolded and slid underneath him. Wiped, powdered, and changed, he props himself up to be put in his sleeper and tucked into bed with a willing heart, the worries in his head quelled by his mommy’s assurance and the padding between his legs. “Mm… nigh-nigh…”

Snuggled in her loving arms, James is soothed by Hailey’s gentle words. The pacifier bobs up and down in his mouth, accompanied by quiet sucking noises. The diaper snug around his waist. No more stress. No more responsibility. Everything else will fade away. All he had to do was be a baby. Suddenly James feels Hailey move him away. “Mmph?” He lifts his head, the binky still in his mouth. A sudden fear plagues his mind. Did his resistance change her mind? He didn’t mean to! He got in his head about all the things he had to do. All the expectations. All the people working busy jobs while he— Her next words cut his thoughts short. James sits up, silent and waiting. He hears the fridge door and the microwave. Then Hailey rounds the corner holding a baby bottle. It sends him back in time. Six years old, still in pull-ups, laid across her lap while a bottle is coaxed to his lips. Next thing he knows it’s happening again. Hailey sits beside him, pulls him close and he doesn’t resist. He watches as his paci is drawn out of his mouth and the nipple of the bottle is brought toward him. There’s no time for hesitation. Like muscle memory, he latches on. The warm milk fills his mouth, sweet and quenching, and he quickly falls into a steady nurse. Eyes gazing up at Hailey, comforted and grateful, growing heavy as he relaxes into the rhythm. In that relaxation he feels his muscles loosen, and his bladder releases into the thick padding he’d been put into with this exact expectation.

“AwaaAaaAAaa-haaaa… Waaaaaaah!” Red-faced and covered in tears, the crying baby clings to Hailey and allows himself to be cradled again without complaint. He cries because his foot hurts. He cries because he’s embarrassed. He cries because his work went under. Most of all he cries out of helplessness. Hailey was right, he needs a break. He has to accept it. He hates it but he needs it. He curls into Hailey, the pacifier reducing his cries to whimpers until they’re no more than sniffles amidst the sounds of him suckling. He rests his head against her chest and closes his eyes. Just like he used to. Held by an angel. The person he trusts most. And he kicks himself for having doubted her decision.

Bump Edited ideas 4 and 7

James’ thumb finds his mouth as soon as he’s finished speaking. It was an old habit of his, one he rarely got to indulge since his hands were always busy with his phone. His friends often referred to it as his pacifier, an irony that isn’t lost on James as a real one is placed in his mouth. A sudden rush of insecurity hits him when Hailey talks about his room and new clothes. He pulls the pacifier from his mouth and tries to sit up. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.” He says apologetically, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and getting to his feet and begins to pace. “It-It-It’s stupid. I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t need-“ he gestures to his diaper incredulously “-this. Let’s just go back to the way we were. I can’t leave my job. I need my phone and I need to get a grip—!” Right as he says this, he turns into the coffee table and stubs his toe. Shocked by the pain, James drops to his hands and knees and reels the throbbing foot close to his chest. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “WaaaaaaAaAaaAAaah..!”

James was blushing throughout lunchtime. He obediently opened his mouth for each bite, and when he was all done uttered a quiet “thank you… Mommy” followed by a slightly more adult “just like how I remember.” Sitting at the table with his sippy cup, he absentmindedly began to kick his legs as he drank. He could hear Hailey’s “aww” and got a little bashful. Setting the cup aside, the baby slid off his chair and planted his feet on the ground, ready to see if Hailey needed his help. But before he could ask, he was scooped back into her arms and taken to the couch to be cradled, putting an end to his big boy thoughts. Laid on his back in just a shirt and diaper, the not-so-grown-up makes a fist and pops up his thumb, bringing it halfway to his mouth to suck on when he’s not talking. “I dunno.” He answers, sucks his thumb, then takes it out again. “I feel… I feel kinda silly.” He chuckles, embarrassed. “And I have to, you know.”

James was surprised at Hailey’s strength to lift him into her arms. It was just like when he was small and she would put him over her shoulder. Each pat to his diapered bottom acted as a reminder of their new roles, settling him in further to their old game of pretend. Pat. Pat. Pat. She is the mommy. He is the baby. There was a comfort in that. A comfort that right now overtook the shame of being reduced to one year old. Diapered, because he can’t so much as be expected to potty himself. It’s his failure. His humiliation. It’s also a promise that he will be taken care of now. James is pulled from his thoughts as he’s sat in a chair. His diaper makes a loud crinkle as the bulky padding forced him to sit with his legs apart in a babyish manner. The chair is rotated to face Hailey and her smiling face, and only one bowl of mac and cheese he quickly realizes is going to be spoon fed to him. The diapered man makes a little noise as his pacifier is plucked from his mouth. He searches for the words to assert that he can still feed himself, but his argument is immediately invalidated by the diaper between his legs. When he finally opens his mouth, he is greeted by a spoonful of warm cheesy pasta and praise for doing as he’s told, which motivates him for the next spoonful and the next until James is happily being fed by his best friend.

James stares up at Hailey and sucks rhythmically on his pacifier while she talks. How easily he fell back into their old dynamic. Her fawning over him over every little thing, taking care of him and making a big deal while he played the part and soaked up every minute. Gradually the make-believe came to an end. James got too big for the stroller. He wanted to be more independent. He eventually stopped wetting the bed. Over time he became less and less the baby and more and more a workaholic grown-up. It had been years since he’d felt so little, yet it came so naturally. Unbeknownst to James, so did wetting the bed. The baby raises his head when Hailey brings up his diaper. “Wha?” He leans forward to check himself, having been unaware that he was wet. The thick padding had absorbed it all, leaving him completely oblivious to the state of his diaper, and that he’d been put in one to begin with. It’s white with babyish blue print on it; the kind you’d put on an infant. James’ face turns red. It had been weeks since he wet the bed. Admittedly it had started up again since he became so overworked but there was something about not knowing that made it that much more embarrassing. James’ blush deepens as he’s laid on the bed for a change. This was one thing they had never done. Still, as if by instinct, James lays back and opens his legs, allowing Hailey to untape his diaper. The cold air on his skin makes him whimper and the praise for wetting only furthers his humiliation until his ears burn. Unable to find the words to express himself, he begins to cry again while he’s wiped, powdered and diapered. The tapes are pulled snug and smoothed over the crinkly patterned front, then James is transferred back to a cradled position where he begins to settle, still sucking away at his binky.

After blurting out the most pathetic and embarrassing thing, James’ face grew red and he opened his mouth to take it back and preserve his dignity. What he received instead was the nipple of a pacifier, gently placed in his mouth to shush him and drive it home that this was really happening. Slowly, James closes his lips around the nipple and looks up at Hailey as he begins to suckle. A chorus of little sucking sounds replace the whimpers he had been making and his face softens as a wave of relief washes the tension from his body. Something about giving up control made the stress start to melt away. No more decisions, no more expectations, no more responsibility; represented by the padding between his legs and the binky in his mouth.

“Yes I do have to worry about that. I need my phone.” James was easily lifted into Hailey’s lap. He searches the room, reaching behind himself to feel up the covers once again before he starts to squirm with growing desperation. “I still have so much to do. I have to close the sale, transfer ownership, there’s meetings- Hailey I need my phone! I need- I neeeed—!!” In that moment of stress, James realizes the position he’s in. Small, cradled, diapered. He remembers the days when they were little and Hailey would be his mommy. He remembers being given her brother’s pacifier and rocked to sleep, and consoled when he’d have to wear a pull-up to bed, even into his teens. James had no idea he’d had a little accident. All he knew was he needed a break. “I need a mommy.”

After being soothed to sleep, James was out like a light. He hardly stirred when Hailey put him to bed, nor did he wake when she returned to diaper him. All he offered was a groggy whimper of protest as his bottoms were removed and some muffled babble behind his thumb. The cold from the baby powder briefly caused his eyes to open, then he was back to bed. Some time later, James woke up. He blinks, turning onto side, and pulls his thumb from his mouth to reach for his phone. No phone. His heart skips a beat. “…Hailey?” It’s not on the nightstand. “Hailey?” It’s not on the floor. “HAILEY?!” He throws back the covers and finds, only after a couple seconds of scavenging for his beloved cell, that there’s extra padding between his legs, and his pants have been replaced with a colourful printed diaper. And it’s already wet.

“I can’t believe it’s over. I can’t. I can’t…” He trails off as his thumb is gently pushed into his mouth, stifling his cries and replacing them with a final muffled babble, his lips closing around his thumb to begin rhythmically sucking it. Soon, exhaustion takes hold and James’ eyes grow heavy, and he finds himself unable to stay awake any longer.

The moment he’s in Hailey’s arms, James’ cries grow louder. He nestles into Hailey, pitifully sobbing into her chest as she tries to soothe him. “I don’t know what to do!”

“It’s over.” The man is seated on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his face in one hand and his phone in the other. “They backed out. 80k. Everything I worked for. God! I worked so hard!” His shout is punctuated by a series of quiet sobs.

“That was one time.” James picks up the remote and turns on a drama, then leans against Hailey and reaches for his sandwich. He takes a bite and lets out a sigh. “You always come in at the right time, don’t you? Always know what to do.” Halfway through the movie his phone goes off. James is on his feet in seconds. “That’s him. I gotta take this. Keep going, no need to pause.” He snatches his phone and hurries off down the hall, turning into the spare room and shutting the door. Minutes pass. He doesn’t come out.

“You still have those?” James’ voice trails after her while he takes off his shoes, sneaking another peak at his phone as he heads into the living room. “Doubt they’ll even fit me.” Turns out he was wrong. James sets his business clothes to the side, neatly folded on a chair but keeps his phone in his hand, collapsing onto the couch to check his notifications once again. “As soon as Garett calls I’ll have to head out. God I missed this place.”

“Oh, ‘Jamey’, I must be really bad.” He tries to make light of it, knowing she only called him that when he looked upset. It all started when they were kids. Hailey always knew how to squeeze the tenderness out of him. Their parents would recount at family dinners how they met in daycare, and Hailey would push him around in a stroller and call him her baby. He can’t count the amount of times he had fallen asleep in her arms. ”Hailey, that’s great. I couldn’t be happier for you, really.” He reaches across the table to touch her arm and lifts his phone for a quick check as he takes it away. Then he pockets it altogether. “You know what? Yeah. That’d be great. I can’t stay long! But- yeah. Let’s go.” Standing, he pushes in his chair and takes his keys from his pocket. “I’ll follow you.”

“I don’t have time for breaks. I don’t have time for sleep. Barrister has put the company on turnaround and we have thirty days to find an investor to reimburse them for the money paid or turn it over altogether. If this flops I get eighty grand and I’m out. Out, Hails. What am I supposed to do?” His voice grows tense the more he speaks before he finally throws up his hands and shakes his head. “No, I said we’re leaving it. Come on, let’s have a nice lunch. Answer the question.”

“You could say that.” James musters a smile as he sits down across from her and sets his phone face-up on the table. He quickly turns it over to be polite. “You could say I’m doing nothing but work. Hit a bit of a rough patch with the uh… you know what, let’s leave it. How are you?”

James had been up all night. Scratch that, he had been up for two days. Two days no sleep, twelve days no break, and who knows how long without a home cooked meal. If he didn’t think about it he’d forget how to breathe. The last few months he’d been struggling to pull together a dying business, the product of everything he’d worked for at the cost of countless close relationships. Married to coffee, in love with his phone, his vocabulary stuck on marketing and distribution. A notification on his phone steals his attention from his office computer. He flicks it away and turns his focus back to the big screen. A pang of guilt draws him back. He types a hasty message. Sorry Hails, can’t do today. Waiting on a very important call. His finger hovers over the send button. He checks the time. Then he taps the backspace button and starts again. Can we make it 12:30? Rogerio’s. My treat. It’s 12:40 when James arrives. He’s dressed like he’s coming from a meeting, his handsome features sullied by exhaustion. Despite this, he smiles at the sight of her, closing the distance to embrace her with a kiss on the cheek and a quick check of his phone over her shoulder. “Hi. Sorry I’m late. It’s been a crazy week. This guy was supposed to call me at eleven and I haven’t heard back and- Sorry. You look great.”

Spencer was lucky to be wearing a swim diaper. Had he been in a normal diaper, he’d have had a much bigger waddle to his walk. He started rummaging through his little sand toys for a bucket and a shovel but stopped when Mya offered him a juice box. “You didn’t bring my baba?” He asked, devastated. He took all his drinks in his bottle now. Even when trying to be a big boy, he couldn’t imagine it any other way.

Nathan cringed as he felt his diaper swell with his accident. He hated this. But he’d already come so far that backing out now would be a death sentence. It’s just hazing, Nate. You have to earn their respect. He couldn’t wait to get out of his wet diaper. Dylan’s praise made the baby blush. The others chuckled. But his submission didn’t last. “What?” He blurted. “You’re not going to change me?” He began to squirm as Dylan put him back in his highchair and locked the tray into place. “But I went!” “Yes you did.” Ethan praised, coming back with the pudding. “But baby doesn’t call the shots. Baby will get his diaper changed when Daddy decides it’s time.”

The conversation at the dinner table died down when Dylan announced to the room that Nathan had to go potty. The young man’s face flushed with embarrassment and he began to backpedal as his daddy unfastened the tray to his highchair and put him on his lap. “No, no, not really—“ He began, trying to get the attention off of him. He tried to hold his bladder but a nagging thought kept pestering his mind: You’re not getting out of this. Just give him what he wants. Come on, go for Daddy. At his daddy’s encouragement, a muffled hissing sound could just barely be made out by Dylan. Everyone else in the room could see Nathan’s face become taut with concentration. His ears burned as he wet himself and he felt a warmth spread across his diaper. He gave a small whimper and the room began to talk. ”He really did it.” ”Holy shit.” “Dude he’s actually going.” “Aww, what a good baby.”