Leroy999

So I definitely see where you guys are coming from in demanding bold, decisive action to lay it all out there on the line. Also, I agree that it will be no easy task to lay off the diapers for a while. Like someone mentioned above, I've also had the desire to wear diapers since almost as far back as I can remember so I know what that's like. Diapers certainly have had and will always have a role to play in my life, but it seems appropriate to take a step back and not let the tail wag the dog. In other words, if I consent to Wannatripbaby's plan then I'm virtually certain to destroy one of the most important relationships I've ever had, most likely out my DL side to friends in the process, and find myself alone at the end of all of it. I don't know about you guys, but that seems a little like running your life through a one dimensional screen and watching the world burn when things don't go so smoothly. At the end of the day, I think I'd rather let my fetishes move to accommodate my personal relationships rather than vice versa. But hey, maybe I'm 100% wrong about this and my DL desires are going to come screaming back from under the rug ten times stronger than before in a month or two. Either way, I've sincerely enjoyed the discussion so thank you all for that.

Wow, I really appreciate all of those thoughtful and supportive answers. I wanted to clarify that our relationship is still very strong and not on the rocks or anything. I would say that besides having a disconnect when it comes to physical intimacy and diapers we do a remarkably good job of compartmentalizing this one bad section off so that other aspects can flourish. As for my interests, I'm just a plain ol' DL without any personal interest in AB stuff (sorry for the confusion above when I used the term ABDL). Only being a DL is definitely convenient to flying under the radar. We live together in a two bedroom apartment and I'm always extremely mindful to keep my stash locked up. As a result of the confined quarters, I feel that I need to over-analyze everything to make sure even the smallest detail doesn't seem off. However, I'm a getting tired of always being stressed out and wondering if today is gonna be the day I leave something incriminating out in the apartment without a plausible excuse. Also, it's a little scary how the more I conceal my DL ways, the more comfortable I become with hiding or concealing other bad facts that might have a negative impact on our relationship. In the end, I think the best solution is maybe to lay off the diapers for a while. There's just simply no way I can rationalize the chance of having my secret DL desires brought to the open around my friends and family. I don't want to be too specific, but it seems very likely that it could even affect my professional life. At the same time, giving in to my desire to wear also seems increasingly untenable with all of the risk and brain damage from the stress. Thanks again for the advice and bearing with me on this. I know my solution is by no means optimal. However, I must say that I feel somewhat better already after talking to other human beings for once about my issue.

First of all, I apologize for being a huge lurker in the past. However, I've recently started begun living with my vanilla girlfriend of several years who still is not aware of my DL side. On one hand, I can't describe how much I enjoy the feel of wearing diapers, and on the other hand, I can't describe the anxiety I have caused myself by wearing diapers either secretly when she's around or more openly wearing when she's not around. I feel that I have an enormous amount to lose if I were discovered and sometimes I believe I would be better off if I just ignored my desires, but then such desires simply build and build in the background. Although I have never shared my secret with her, I'm 100% certain she would have nothing to do with it and would likely end the relationship soon after. I'm thoroughly entangled in my relationship because of the amount of friends and family now involved, so the idea of starting over again in the hope of meeting some long-shot DL girl seems out of the question. However, our current sex life is almost non-existent and I feel my DL desires drifting farther and farther away into the realm of fantasy. In the end, I guess what I'm really asking is when you boil it all down, how do you guys cope with this sort of situation? Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.