I can understand that. I've been seeing my therapist for about 3 years now, I think? I followed her when the original practice she worked at closed. So, I already have an established relationship with her, and just now am I feeling I could actually disclose my interest in diapers with her.
If you feel you have anxiety, and it's affecting your life negatively, I can't recommend therapy enough. It's terrifying the first couple of times, and you may have to see a few different people before you find one you click with, but it's worth the effort to help get your mind in the right place.