D_Rainger

Sleeping Arrangements, by Laura Shaine Cunningham. In this autobiographical dark comedy of eccentricities, Lily grows up in a makeshift family. After her single mother dies, Lily's Jewish uncles Len and Gabe move in to take care of her. Eventually they are joined by Lily's Grandmother, "Etka from Minsk," who is suffering from arteriosclerosis and is a bit forgetful. Some how through all the disparity, they form a family. The resulting story is a rare glimpse into the reality of life in the Bronx in the 1950's through the eyes of one very special little girl. In nursery school, much of Lily's experience centers on bodily functions and the exposing (or not) of one's panties. She describes a coed toilet and how it offended her sensibilities. She goes pee outside behind a bush instead. After her mother dies, Lily longs to go to camp with her friend Susan. Len and Gabe somehow make it possible for her to attend. When she gets there she finds out it is full of fiendish older girls waiting to de-pants her, food that causes regurgitation at lunch, and a conga-line of diarrhea at night. Describing her own sickness, Lily says. "I also develop the digestive trouble that afflicts most of the campers, but I am too embarrassed to admit it. Instead, I become the Raskolnikov of lapsed toilet training, guiltily trying to hide the evidence." She buries her dirty pants or tries to flush them down the toilet. Later in the story, Lily and Susan are playing "King of the Mattress." As Lily tries to dethrone her, Susan is laughing and peeing in hysterical squirts. By the end of the book, Lily is 15 and very interested in boys. She is secretly in love with her best friend's brother. She describes a recurring disaster she had on visits to her friend's house. "Even with all the frank conversation taking place and everyone else's frequent visits to the bathroom, I had been too shy to say I had to 'go.' Rather than ask to use the bathroom, I had quietly wet my skirt. More than once I had trudged home, chafing." -D Rainger

Ellen Foster , by Kaye Gibbons. A classic in “southern” literature. Resourceful and tough Ellen is bounced around to relatives after her timid mother and abusive father die. All she wants is a real family, and when she takes things in her own hands she ends up living with the "Foster" family. There is a scene describing Ellen's cousin Dora having an accident in the car on the way to the funeral of Ellen's mother. Ellen mockingly hopes that "wise" Aunt Nadine has brought an extra set of clothes for Dora. Ellen slides over toward the window to avoid getting wet from Dora's accident. "Old as me and wets herself once or twice a day," says Ellen. She even worries that Aunt Nadine will blame her for Dora wetting her pants. Ellen thinks to herself sarcastically, "I promise never to pee in your girl's pants again." There is a film adaptation of this novel with Jena Malone at the title character. The wetting scene does not appear in the film. - D Rainger

Follow the Stars Home, by Luanne Rice. This is a bittersweet tale of love lost and love found. Rice is a consummate writer and she provides a touching and truthful narrative. Dianne Robbins fell in love with the wrong kind of man. After she became pregnant with a child that was sure to be disabled, Tim, her husband abandoned her. Now, ten years later, Dianne is living with her mother and daughter Julia. In the background, Alan McIntosh, Tim’s physician brother has been patiently waiting and helping in any way he can. Alan introduces Dianne to a troubled young girl named Amy who forms an instant bond with Julia. When tragedy strikes, love comes through. Rice treats the character of Julia with insight and realism. Julia was born with spina bifida and Rett syndrome. She is wheelchair bound and has no real speech. Yet, Julia has a definite personality and we learn that she takes in more than others think. Julia wears diapers and this is mentioned often in the story. She is wet. She is changed. Her diaper is loosened for medical examinations. Julia begins puberty wearing a diaper. There is a Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation of this book. The twins who play Julia are very convincing. They are out of caracter, however, in the fact that they don’t appear to be wearing diapers in the film. -D Rainger

The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson. Ms. Wilson is a popular children’s writer in the UK. This is the first of a series of three books for young people about Tracy Beaker. There is also a Tracy Beaker TV show. Tracy is a ten-year-old with issues. Her pretty mother can’t take care of her. She has been in and out of two foster homes, and is now in an orphanage trying to survive her bad temper. Tracy has a secret nighttime problem that becomes public when she tells a turncoat friend. Now she gets teased about being a baby for wetting her bed. One night Tracy can’t sleep and bumps into little Peter who wets his bed too. They gradually become friends as they meet regularly during midnight sheet sorties. Tracy and Peter often have nightmares and wake up wet. In one chapter, Tracy overhears two of the other girls talking about her and diapers! She exercises great restraint and doesn’t go and bash their heads together. This is a demonstration of extreme self-control for Tracy. Ms. Wilson has casually used nightwetting as a vehicle to tell this story of a smart and resourceful young girl. Children can identify with Tracy. Many, many young people in institutional and foster care face bedwetting as an issue. This book certainly brings enuresis out in the open with dignity and honesty. The main character, after all, is a bedwetter. -D Rainger

Something Very Sorry, written and translated by Arno Bohlmeijer. The true story of Rosemyn, a nine-year-old who survives a car accident. She must cope with the difficult aftermath, including her mother's death and the slow recovery of her dad and sister from their serious injuries. Much of the narration centers on the hospital life Rosemyn must endure with her broken arm in traction. She has to learn to pee on her back in bed. She is a thumb-sucker and reverts to it or at least wishes she could a number of times in the book. Phoebe, Rosemyn's six-year-old sister has had brain damage and can't control herself any more. The nurses put Phoebe in a diaper, "or else she would pee in bed." Phoebe gradually regains control of herself and everyone is proud of her, but she has relapses including one time she wakes up, takes her clothes off and pees. Another time she is worried about having an EEG and accidentally wets her bed. When Rosemyn is wheeled up to have a visit with her dad, he tells her about having a catheter in his penis. He tells her he can't pee on his back. Rosemyn tells him she can, but he reminds her she doesn't have a penis. Another time her father is sitting up and needs to call a nurse but the bell is on the other side of the bed. Rosemyn is still confined to bed but her father tries to get up and reach it. His collection bag snags on the chair and pulls on the tube. This book is uncommonly well written. The account is painfully sad, the narrative crystal clear. The title comes from Phoebe talking about her dead mother. She always begins, "I must tell you something very sorry." - D Rainger

Camp Girl-Meets-Boy, by Caroline B. Cooney. Fashion-hound Vi and tomboy Marissa are counselors at Camp Menunkechogue. They fill their days taking care of their twelve-year-old charges and searching their own souls. They also find time for summer romance. Hence, the title of the book. Their plans are disrupted by the beautiful and self-absorbed Cathy who comes late to camp as a dance instructor. One of Vi's campers is a twelve-year-old named Laury, who is a bedwetter. Vi has to air her mattress in the morning and protect her from being teased. Vi finds it "ghastly" as she puts it. Laury even wets the bed during rest hour. As the story progresses, Laury overcomes her nighttime problem. Vi shares a candy bar with her for getting up on her own one night on a camp out. Later, one of the male counselors gives Laury a watch with an alarm and a flashlight to help her get up at night after she tearfully confesses her problem to him. The author deserves credit for bringing this common camp problem out into the open and mentioning it more than just in passing. –D Rainger

I have an ongoing fantasy about children being forced to wear diapers because of federally mandated testing under the “No Child Left Behind Act of 2001.” The synopsis goes like this: Because of the school system endeavoring to show progress under the act to avoid losing funding, they do anything they can to make the test scores higher. This might involve having the kids take “practice tests” similar to the ones that will determine the score the schools will receive. The children will be encouraged to be at their best mentally and physically by eating a good breakfast and getting plenty of sleep. Why not also encourage the kids to wear diapers so they won’t be distracted by bodily functions? We could only imagine the embarrassment (or not) of children being told they will have to wear diapers, their parents struggling to get them into diapers, the school officials enforcing the diaper rule, and the children themselves coping with the actual wearing of the diapers. I laughed out loud when I first heard the present administration’s answer to poor education in the country. The current educational system was born of the factory model of the 1940’s stamping out neat packages of identically educated young people. This system is not as effective as it once was. Instead of addressing that issue, the answer was determined simply to be “more testing.” Yes, that will work very well. We all appreciate more tests in our lives don’t we? It is not hard to guess the outcome. The school systems now concentrate on teaching what is necessary to make a good showing on the tests. Individualized education is out the window. Helping a child to reach his or her potential has been sidetracked. The idea of education to better one’s self has been replaced by standardization and fitting in to group norms, thus, its not too much of a stretch to imagine officials grasping at any straw they can. If making the kids wear diapers can improve test scores, then that's what they will do. Added to this is the conception of zero tolerance. Everybody must conform or be out. One mistake and that’s it. A girl was recently expelled from school for having two aspirin in her purse. A boy was suspended for having a butter knife in his truck. A mentally challenged girl was arrested for wetting her pants at school. A 10 year old girl was removed from school for saying she wanted to kill her teacher because the teacher wouldn’t let the girl go to the bathroom and she had an accident in class. A seven-year-old boy was handcuffed at school. Several children have been subdued by tazer. There is very little room for individualism. I have written two brief pieces about this fantasy. The first is a letter to parents informing them that their child will need diapers for testing day. The other is a short news clipping about a school district that enforces diaper wearing for these tests. What I really hope to do someday is write a piece from the child’s perspective about wearing protection along with everyone else in their class. -D R

Earthquake Terror, Peg Kehret. In this juvenile adventure story, 12-year-old Jonathan and his partially paralyzed sister Abby are separated from their parents during an earthquake while camping on an isolated island. In an attempt to escape rising water and seek help, the two children climb aboard broken off trees. As they cling precariously to the trunks, Abby needs to go to the bathroom. Jonathan tells her she has no choice but to go in her pants. Abby eventually decides to follow her brother’s suggestion, but she is embarrassed. She asks him not to tell their mother. Jonathan tries to make Abby feel better. He says that their mother won’t care. -D Rainger

Spy Kids, starring Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Alexa Vega, and Daryl Sabara. If only Diaper Lovers produced mainstream flicks!! How about Spy Kids? Carmen and Juni Cortez' parents used to be spies. Then they got married and had kids. Now they've been called up again, but they have been captured by the evil toymaster Floop. The kids become spies to save them. In Floop's castle, Carmen and Juni's parents are tied in iron chairs. Ingrid Cortez says, "Let's stop worrying about the children." Gregorio says, "They still wear diapers." Ingrid counters, "Only one is in diapers and only at night. It's not that unusual, OK?" Surprising dialogue for a blockbuster movie. One would naturally conclude that it is Juni, the boy that wears the diapers. Later after the kids steal a miniature jet spy plane, they get in a fight because Juni is supposed to have read the instruction manual. Carmen says, "You skipped a chapter, meathead." "Better stop calling me names," Juni shoots back. "Pull up, booger breath," Carmen hollers. Juni warns, "stop it or I'll call you names." Carmen challenges, "Go ahead. You go nothin' on me, wart hog." Juni drops the bomb, "try me 'diaper lady'." Carmen looks like she is going to cry. "Aha, Hope you're wearing one now." Carmen asks, "How long have you known?" "Since forever, mom made me swear not to mention it, so now we're even." We are surprised to learn that it is the girl that wets the bed. But this could be a diaper lover's dream. There is a golden opportunity in the beginning of the movie to show Carmen getting into her nighttime pants. The movie starts with Carmen at the window and then it shows her mother putting her to bed while Juni is in the bathroom putting wart medicine on his fingers. Carmen could nonchalantly step into her Goodnites and pull them up and have them disappear under her nightgown just before she jumps into bed. Or we could see a picture of Carmen laying on the bed with her pull-up exposed and then have Mrs. Cortez cover her with a blanket. Or Carmen's mom could ask, "do you have your 'special' panties on honey?" Carmen could get upset and say, "Moth-er." Or even better, Mrs. Cortez could be in the process of diapering Carmen in a cloth diaper. She could ask Carmen what story she wanted to hear tonight, and then help her get into her plastic pants. There is another opportunity later in the show when the kids escape in the "Super Guppy," a kind of kid-size undersea escape module. The kids get bored and Carmen falls asleep. Juni takes a poop and the computer happily announces, "Now flushing your poop." But what about Carmen? If she is a bedwetter, why doesn't she have an accident? She could wake up with soaking pants. If her parents have taken the time to provide a means of escape for the kids why isn't it equipped with Goodnites for her? "Don't look Juni!" and Carmen could slip on her pull-up. I wonder if we will ever see a movie view of a child wearing a Goodnite? As far as I know it has never been done. Some of the GN commercials are a step in the right direction. A boy and a girl candidly talk about wetting the bed and how it can be embarrassing and how it could keep them from going to sleepovers, etc. But neither the commercial nor the web site really show an actual kid wearing Goodnites. Some of the old ads did. Even with the new sleep shorts and sleep boxers, real kids are never shown wearing them. Don't you think it would help kids and foster acceptance if we actually saw kids wearing them? -D Rainger

Can’t Get There From Here, by Todd Strasser. Maybe is a girl who lives on the street with a tribe of homeless kids. Some are runaways, some are throwaways. Maybe has some street smarts but is too caring. It is winter and the living is not easy. The frigid winds of January bring a new girl, Tears. She is twelve years old and has been abused by her father, but her mother does not believe her. Maybe tries to protect her. As the other kids disappear from violence, addiction, and exposure, Maybe enlists help to get Tears off the street. Living in a nest under a bridge, Maybe hears Tears sobbing. She asks “What’s wrong?” “I wet the sleeping bag. It’s cold.” Tears replies. Maybe tells Tears to come over and climb in with her. “But I’m wet,” she says. Maybe tells her she doesn’t care and the two snuggle up together against the cold. Tear’s teeth start to chatter and she tells Maybe she wants to go home. -D Rainger

White Oleander by Janet Fitch. The movie is very good and Alison Lohman is the perfect Astrid. The book is better. In the 4th chapter after Astrid's mother is arrested for murder, Astrid is in foster care. She has become mute and only gets up for meals. The story implies bedwetting. She calls it a place "under the ground" populated with all kinds of kids, music like a train wreck, arguing, crying, ceaseless TV, smell of heavy cooking, thin sickly urine, and pine cleaner. Astrid says as she narrates that they make her come out for meals, but then she returns to the cocoon of bed and sleep with the plastic sheet crinkling under her. She wakes up "soaked to the armpits" more nights than not. In chapter 28 Astrid and her friend Niki drop acid. After they are high and go to an art exhibition and then have some food, Niki says that they should go to the bathroom. Astrid doesn't want to, but Niki says "you won't know until it's too late." Niki helps Astrid into a stall, unzips her pants, and puts her on the pot. Astrid can't go until she recalls someone named Annie potty training her when she was little. – D Rainger

Zink by Cherie Bennett Part reality and part fantasy, this is the story of Becky Zaslow, a ten-year-old who wants to be a singer. Before she can try out for the 6th grade talent show, she discovers she has leukemia. As she begins treatment, she hallucinates about a herd of zebras. Sometimes they visit her in the hospital, and sometimes she visits them in the Serengeti. They help her get through her trials by showing her she has courage even though she is afraid. One day during chemotherapy, Becky is very sick. Her roommate and her mother are not there, and the nurse doesn’t come when she wants help. In desperation she has no choice but to make a mess in her bed. When the nurse changes her sheets, her mother asks her if she wants to wear adult diapers “just in case of another accident?” Becky gets mad. She writes in her journal that she will “never, ever, ever, ever wear a D-I-A-P-E-R and I mean it.” -D Rainger

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, by Stephen King. There is some talk that this book could be made into a movie with Laura Dern and Dakota Fanning in it. Young Red Sox fan Trisha gets lost when she has to pee on the Appalachian Trail and her bickering mother and brother don't notice she is gone. She is pursued by a dark bear-shaped specter. In the sixth chapter (titled "Fifth Inning") she gets sick to her stomach and then has diarrhea. "Oh, Sugartit!" she says trying to get her jeans down in time. Trisha cries out at the hot, stinging rush. In a wave of lightheadedness she loses her balance and plops down in her own hot mess. First she cries, then she comes up laughing at the absurdity of it all. As the story progresses Trisha becomes sicker but continues to wander alone in the woods. When she has to pee she says it is like weak acid that hurts with a deep itching sting "that felt like the worst case of prickly heat she'd ever had." -D Rainger

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith. Chapter 18 gives the reader an unflinching view of the public school system in New York City in the early 1900's, and how it dealt with children needing to "leave the room." This is one of my favorite books and probably one of the oldest to include an honest description of needing to use the bathroom. It was published in the 1940’s. Smith says the children were instructed to go before school in the morning and then wait until lunch hour. They were supposed to be able to go at recess, but there were only 10 lavatories for 500 students. Bullies stationed themselves at the doors and wouldn't let the tormented children pass. For those who could afford it, a penny was exacted. Technically, in class you were permitted to leave by holding up one finger or two depending on how long you wished to be excused. In practice, the fingers were ignored. The teachers decided amongst themselves that this was just a subterfuge to leave class. After all, they reasoned, there was plenty of time at recess and lunch. The only ones to have their requests granted were the privileged few who sat down front, the "clean, dainty, and cared-for children." As for the other children, the book says half of them learned to "adjust their functions," and the other half became "chronic pants-wetters." In the story, 7 year old Francie and her 6 year old brother Neeley attend school. Their colorful Aunt Sissy finds Francie after school one night and treats her to a penny chocolate soda. Francie is "trembling like a leaf" in the raw November wind and Sissy asks her why. Reluctantly, with a "shame-hot face," Francie tells Aunt Sissy what happened at school. She says that the teacher "never looks at us when we raise our hands." Sissy tries to make her feel better by telling her that the Queen of England and even her own mother and grandmother all wet their pants when they were little. Francie says "she is too big, only babies do that." She is afraid that her mother will shame her in front of Neeley. Sissy tells Francie to confess right away and promise never to do it again. Francie says that she can't promise because it could happen again. In the end, Francie gets a mild scolding and Sissy fixes it so Francie can "leave the room." -D Rainger

I am an avid reader. For many years I have been interested in books that make passing reference to diapers, wetting, and bodily functions. In the past these topics were left out of most publications. Recently, opinion and general acceptance of the realities of life have changed all that. Many times now the content includes such things as the hero or heroine of a story stopping to go to the bathroom, etc. I have made a collection of stories that mention diapers, wetting, spanking, or other topics of interest. I would like to present them in the form of a brief review (or Short Take) of each title. Thanks, -D Rainger

Hi, Diaperlover247, So you say you've worn diapers and it has become more than a habit? Now you can't stop? Scary isn't it? Just be glad it's diapers and not Meth. The good news is that yes, it is possible to break the hold diapers have on you. Your desire to quit just has to be strong enough. Think about the 12 steps of AA. Think about trying to quit smoking. On the other hand, most of us have gone through what you describe: the binge and purge. Mine was always accompanied by guilt. A friend on another web site told me one time that when I was through with all my equipment, put it away in the attic because the time would come when I would want it again. A paraphilia can exert a great deal of power over our lives. The rehabilitation of individuals with sexually focused deviance behaviors has traditionally been fairly low. It is prehaps because these behaviors are not well understood, and are not as common as other more self-destructive behaviours. Many years ago Augustine said: "Habit if not resisted, soon becomes necessity. My advice: Resist if you can, keep your life simple and clean, in the long run it's the happiest and safest course. -D_Rainger

Geez, Incomplete Dude! Have you been listening at all? -D_Rainger

Hi, Incomplete Dude, I can see that you are wrestling with a number of issues. I'm not too sure I completely understand what you are trying to say. Perhaps you are trying to justify your feelings toward diapers. At the outset, I must tell you that I am a diaper lover and not an adult baby. I can, however, understand why a person might find comfort in a regression to an earlier time in their lives including dependence on others to care for bodily needs. Whether that is good or bad must be decided by the individual. For me, diapers are a sexual matter pure and simple. As such, they don't impinge on all aspects of my life and I can spend the time necessary to obtain gratification and then it's done until the next time. I do find that there is beauty in simplicity. Is diaper loving justifiable? From the Darwinian standpoint does diaper loving contribute to the survival of the species? I don't see how. Is diaper loving moral? From a Christian standpoint the Bible would say marriage is between one man and one woman and the injunction to fill the earth and subdue it is the primal doctrine for man and the earth. The two great commandments are Love God and Love Your Fellow Man. Does the diaper lover fullfll these moral laws? Does it bring honor to God? Are you encroaching on the freedoms of others by wearing diapers or practicing an Adult Baby lifestyle? These are the things a Christian must ponder. I am unsure about other religions. Let me caution you that leaving home and having your own place is not an automatic cure. Weigh this option carefully. Leaving home just so you can practice a paraphilia is not a good reason. You still seem to need support psychologically and unless my guess is wrong, financially. I have taken a much simpler approach to my love of diapers. I recognized early on that this is a part of me. It has at times been an addiction. I have not always practiced it. It finds expression from time to time. I use meticulous care. I don't share it with anybody (except here). I am able to function "normally" (if I must use that word) in the world outside. I no longer try to analyize myself. Something got switched or changed or misdirected in the "nurture" part of my nurture and nature experience. For the sake of the world around me I try to be careful not to hurt anyone with my "unnatural" interest in diapers. All in all, I live a satisfying life. I have goals and ambitions that lie far outside the realm of my hobby of diapers. -D_Rainger

I'm sorry you're mom is having such a rough time. Hang in there curious! Remember you need to keep your strength up too in order to help your mom. I'll be thinking of you. -D_Rainger

The world is full of unbalanced people isn't it? John Lennon isn't the only one who has died a sensless death. I was deeply moved recently when I ran across a web site listing all the children in the US who have died in foster care. Not too long ago I heard the story of a little girl who died while being restrained at a day program in a mental health clinic. One picture of her especially moved me: She had an expression of perfect surprise and delight on her face as she recieved a gift. Another showed her beautiful in a long blue gown. She was 7 years old when she was killed. I am unable to come to grips yet with the carnage going on in Iraq. I believe that someday there will be peace on earth, but it will not come through human efforts. We are too imperfect to rule ourselves. The original purpose for the earth was to be a paradise for mankind, and that is what it will become, we must be careful we are not on the wrong side. -D_Rainger

I don't have any clear memories of being diapered as a child other than looking up at my mom from the bathroom floor where she changed me. I only wore cloth diapers (it was the 1950's). I do recall being scared of the diaper pins and expecting to be poked. I have a very clear memory of asking to be diapered when I was four or five. My mom put me in cloth diapers, she never used plastic pants. I had little red corduroy overalls that hid the diaper well. I walked around in it for a while and wet, and unfortunately, that is all I remember. I had a tremendous sighting when I was in first grade. I was invited to a birthday party. The birthday girl's older sister was about 7 or 8 and we were playing in the back yard. They had a railing by the sidewalk and we were all spinning somersaults on it. The sister took her turn and because she was wearing a dress I could see everthing when she was upside down. Much to my surprise, she was wearing plastic pants with little blue dots on them. I thought this was strange at the time and have wondered about it since. Was she incontinent? Was it because she was excited at the party? Was she being punished? I was standing within inches of her. I could almost smell the plastic. When she was right side up again she was mad and slapped me for watching her, so she must have been conscious of what had happened and was embarrassed. I'll always remember that slap. -D_Rainger

Wait until you get to be 50. -D_Rainger

It is simply a matter of good manners which is sorely lacking in our world today. Follow the golden rule. Are there any real gentlemen any more? Nobody wants to see gross stuff. Nobody wants gross stuff forced on them. I suppose it is like peeing in public. Most people will seek privacy, but some are exhibitionists and will want to stand on the street corner. There are laws against that sort of thing and for good reason too! When was the last time you enjoyed seeing plumber's butt? -D_Rainger P.S. I have always thought that partially clad was much more sexy than full blown nudity. Some reserve adds to the imagination. I was taught to turn away when a lady was having trouble with her attire.

As I have mentioned elsewhere, I can't remember a time that I didn't like diapers. I vividly recall asking my mom to diaper me when I was about four. I just wanted to wear a diaper and she happily agreed. I walked around for a while and peed in it and that is all I can remember. When I was a bit older I "liberated" some training pants from the little kids next door. I was always aware of diapers and plastic pants. I noticed the pictures of training pants and underwear, but also incontinence and menstrual products in the Wards and Sears catalogs. Very interesting! I had dreams of kids in diapers and also getting spanked by "spanking machines" when I was six or seven. These feelings and dreams confused me, and I began to realize that I wasn't like a lot of the other kids. One night at the dinner table, my mom made a comment that electrified me. She said when we took trips she would diaper me "just in case." I didn't remember this happening, but immediately I had a flood of understanding. I had been toilet trained very early. I always had good control. Why was I put back in diapers? This sent a conflicting message to me and must have confused me as a little kid. Why was it all right to go to the bathroom in your pants now when it wasn't before? Because of the nearness of the organs of elimination to the sexual organs, it is not hard to understand how sexual arousal can accompany elimination or be transferred from or to elimination. I didn't know how widespread this phenomenon was until the age of the internet. -D_Rainger

Let's get back to the original issue: Worry about AB/DL lifestyle and approach / avoidance conflitcts. Will a therapist or therapy really help? My only experience with a therapist happened when I was a teen, and basically got no help at all. When someone should have reached out and given me a hand, the therapist did nothing. Because of this experience and because of my own desire to find out about myself, I studied Psychology and Sociology in College. Psychology is not an exact science, as we all know. Many things have been learned about human behavior, but there is no single explaination or even multiple theory to explain it all, there are only "schools of thought." Can you recieve help from a Psychologist/Psychiatrist/Counselor? Yes. Much of it depends on your own attitude. You need to think about what you want to change, if anything, and what you want to work on. The councelor may help you to identify areas. Going to some kind of therapy or counceling is much like getting your car fixed. Sometimes the mechanic is good and finds the problem, other times you get someone who does a bunch of unnecessary things and charges you an arm and a leg. Do some research into who you are going to see. Has a friend or family memeber been to them?Councelling is expensive. I had thought about it for myself dealing with another issue, and quite frankly, I couldn't afford it and went untreated. My diaper fetish is very deeply rooted in my childhood and has an addictive quality to it. It is tied up with my sexuality, and I doubt if all the therapy in the world can change me. I leave it for a while and that is fine. I harbour guilt for who I am, but most of the time it doesn't bother me. I have learned to live with my diaper lifestyle and it doesn't interfere with my functioning as a father, husband, worker, etc. The point is: If you are functioning reasonably well in society, therapy is probably unnecessary. If you are having major issues and your life is in danger of coming apart at the seams, by all means seek out some help. For AB/DL issues I think it would be very difficult to find anything of practical value other than your own common sense and maybe the experience of some of the folks here. Thanks for listening, -D_Rainger