My wife found out while we were dating too. I didn't try to hide it from her as I wear diapers and/or vinyl pants 24/7. She was OK with it but only if I really needed to wear them (which I do). It's a part of your life and you won't be happy if you have to change :). Be up front and honest. If she doesn't like or approve,, it perhaps is best to part ways. You won't change and neither will she.