Les Lea

Not sure that this type of parent ever gets their comeuppance. But using nappies as a way to change behaviour...mmmm?

Part 13 Even though I’d known them for ages it was still a bit of an ordeal plucking up courage to visit unannounced. However, I knocked on the door and it was Mrs Edwards who answered. “Good evening Mrs Edwards, I was just wondering if Mark was back from the hospital yet and if not when might it be convenient to call?” I detected a suspicion of a smile on her face when she recognised me. “Ah Jason, yes, come on in. They’ve just returned and his father is seeing to him at the moment.” She opened the door wider and I tentatively walked in. “Is he fully recovered?” Again I was still in awe that Mrs Edwards had been so nice to me. I don’t know what I was expecting but not this. “Just one or two little things but he should be better in a few days.” She invited me into her perfect living room. “Please take off your shoes.” She added as I took that first step indoors. I slipped them off and padded toward the sofa where she patted the space next to her to sit down. “Mr Edwards shouldn’t be long,” she smiled but I was nervous and could feel that under her scrutiny my bladder might not last the next few minutes. “You have a lovely home...” I tried my best to keep the anxiety out of my voice. “Is Bill, erm, William around yet?” “Yes, they are both upstairs with their father.” No further information was offered and I didn’t want to appear nosey so stayed looking at my socks. “It’s very nice of you to be concerned Jason. You out of all the boys’ friends are the only one who asked about visiting Mark.” It was a simple statement of fact as far as she was concerned but I guess the Edwards didn’t know the fear all the other kids felt in their presence. Even the mere mention of them made our little group think twice before they said anything else. “Oh, that’s a shame.” I added unnecessarily. “Hummm,” which was more of a noise than a word she added as if in thought. “You’ve always been a friend to our boys, even when they were little we noticed that you seemed to have time for them.” I wasn’t sure if she needed a comment or this was going to be part of a major discussion so I just smiled and nodded. “We all need friends.” I answered glibly. “Both of them look up to you and, I’m pleased to say, we think they are lucky to have a friend like you.” Now, this was not the type of conversation I was expecting and was suddenly wishing I’d gone straight home or at least emptied my bladder before I knocked on that door. However, she was being nice and complimentary so it was difficult to make my excuses to leave. Unexpectedly there was a change of direction. # “I’ve watched you grow up Jason and always admired the way you and your mother coped after the loss of your father.” Bloody hell, how had we got into this discussion? I had no idea she was even aware of our circumstances. Although I should have known on our little street people would know just about everything. Still I was stunned that Mrs Edwards was being so... chatty? “You and your mother always appeared to be so close. Even more so, you were... are... always polite and even tempered with time for everyone and nothing seems to be too much trouble.” Again she smiled at her own praise but I was feeling uneasy. I was about to coyly say that wasn’t the case, even though it was, but she went on. “Over the years I’ve noticed,” she nodded as if remembering something, “hanging out on your washing line evidence that said you had bouts of incontinence. Large nappies and plastic pants drying in the sun and wind... which made me wonder if it was that which kept you two close.” Oh god, where was this going and where is Mr Edwards, surely he must be finished by now? I looked around the room hoping to find some distraction or an excuse to change the subject. “I detected, over the last few months that the washing line is full again and wondered how often you need changing?” She was staring at me, almost daring me to not answer but of course I am too polite for that and shivered as I admitted that I needed a thick nappy to sleep in. “Through preference... or because you need to?” There was a query but also an accusation in her tone. She wasn’t letting up but I didn’t see why I had to tell her the complete truth, unless she’d already had this conversation with mum. Although I couldn’t see mum telling anyone about my situation without her telling me. “I have anxiety attacks, erm, and lack of night time control so...” my excuse petered out. “Oh dear,” It was as if she was being sympathetic without being sympathetic, more like she was taking the p... “What about at work, I believe you’re now employed?” It was a question I knew she had the answer to but answered anyway. “Yes I’m working at Collins’s as a technical assistant.” “Do you wear protection there as well?” God she wasn’t letting up and I could feel my face blushing furiously. Not only that but where was all this heading and why was she so interested? “Yes,” I quietly confessed. I was trying not to look her in the eye but she was insistent that we keep eye contact. “What style do you wear there?” Oh hell this conversation was still continuing... when will it end? “Erm, um, disposables and plastic pants.” For some reason I found it hard not to tell her everything. “And they’re not bothered by this?” I shrugged. “No one is.” “So,” she said as if a final comment, “it’s safe for me to assume,” and she reached down to her handbag and pulled out her evidence, “that it was you who gave this to William?” I should have known... the flat, unopened, though obviously childish cartoon disposable was waved in front of my face. “Oh f***.” # My sore bum tightened in reaction to this revelation and swallowed hard stifling the curse I nearly blurted out but she wasn’t done. “Of course, as I’ve said, I’ve seen your fabric nappies drying in your garden and understood they were needed if the person was incontinent for one reason or another. However, this, rather babyish cartoon disposable tells me something completely different - that you like to wear them and love even more the childish nature of them.” It was too late, the anxiety took over and a stream of warm pee engulfed the front of my nappy. I knew I had a robust pair of plastic pants that would prevent any dribbles or leaks but I still wasn’t sure if she knew what was happening. This wasn’t fair I hadn’t come to be intimidated or to explain myself I came to see how a sick friend was. However, I had given her son a particularly juvenile looking disposable and I suspect he’d been under more stress than I was trying to explain it. She looked at me to see if I would react to what she’d said. It was strange, once again I’d been caught out and instead of following the “own it” advice I’d given to Mark, I faltered and was unsure what to say or do. Although my nappy was rapidly filling up I knew the thick material would deal with it all. Maybe I should have set about praising the pluses of wearing a nappy, the comfort and security it gives but I figured it was best to stay quiet. It’s not that easy to explain everything. Not only that but where was Mr Edwards? What was he doing with Mark that was taking so long? I wanted to go home. However, what suddenly flashed into my mind was that boy on the bus, he didn’t seem to mind my padding, nor did Tom or mum so, what had it got to do with Mrs Edwards, other than I’d given one to her son? “Yes, I did give Billy... “William,” she corrected. “William. Yes, I did give William one of my spare disposables because he told me you had put both him and Mark in fabric nappies as a punishment.” Surprisingly the stern lady smiled at that. “Is that what he told you?” The fact that she was smiling should have been an indication there was more to it than that but I didn’t catch on in time. I carried on in my defence. “I thought it might be a nice break from the fabric nappies he says he has to wear... I find them quite comfortable and fun... so I thought...” She was looking from me, flushed with embarrassment and the cartoon on the front of the nappy. Had she shaken it out and used it on Billy, there would have been a host of other childish characters to see. I didn’t mention that he disliked the fabric ones or that they had to use them or that he said he preferred the disposable. I was already regretting possibly saying too much and getting Billy into trouble. I saw she was still smiling but shaking her head, whilst fondling the supple material. “You know Jason. You’ve had more of an effect on my boys than you possibly know.” I had no idea where this was going. “But, William and Mark are both boisterous boys who, over the years have had to be reined in. Of course, not everyone approves of our methods but we could discuss these at length and we’d still disagree. However, recently, when one of them broke the rules we as a family have set down I wondered if there might be an alternative... and that alternative was... you.” “What? I mean, what do you mean?” I was worried. “Well, I looked to the way you and your mother interact with each other and you’re always happy. I’ve never heard a bad word said against you, nor have I ever heard you swearing or carrying on in the street. The fact that you regularly wear nappies I assumed was one of the reasons and I simply wondered if those folds of material would have the same effect on my two.” Oh, this was sounding like... but my thoughts were broken as she delivered the coup-de-grâce. “So, because of the way you are... and the nappies you wear... you are responsible as to why William and Mark now wear them as well, in the hope that their attitude would be more like yours.” She smiled when she saw how horror-struck I looked. “I hoped by emulating what I thought your mother must be like with you, and whom I assumed let you keep your nappies because they held you in check, I would see a similar change in my two.” She beamed because she hadn’t done. “Guess what? The wearing of nappies has changed them a little. So, thanks to you, and your nappies, we’re keeping them in their more traditional padding for the foreseeable future. Maybe eventually Jason, we’ll get a couple of boys who are as well-behaved as you.” I could feel my anxiety levels were just about hitting panic stations and I almost grabbed for my dum-dum in my pants pocket. However, I had second thoughts about that because she would have known too much about what I liked and that scared me. She’d assumed a great deal but assumed correctly that my nappies were more than just to cover for teenage incontinence and it worried me. What other assumptions she’d made, or was likely to make, that were correct. I was completely and utterly stunned by her perception but at that point Mr Edwards arrived from upstairs. “Oh hello Jason, wasn’t sure it was you at the door. Well, both boys are changed and ready so Mark’s in bed but William... well why don’t you go up and see for yourself?” As I made the move to the bottom of the stairs I heard Mrs Edwards call out. “Thanks for all you’ve done Jason... you’ve certainly helped us without even knowing it.” Without turning around to see for myself, I just knew they both had smiles on their faces. # Slowly and nervously I made my way to the boy’s bedroom pondering what I was going to say to them. I was also wondering if their mother had told them the reason they were now subjected to nappies and my part in that decision. Billy must have heard me coming and greeted me at the bedroom door. “Oh hi Jase glad you’ve come to see us.” He wasn’t smiling but at least he seemed genuinely happy to see me. What I also noticed was the huge padding he now sported under his loose fleecy grey shorts. “How’s the injured soldier?” I joked as he led me into their room. “See for yourself.” “Mark still looked a little pale but was lying on his bed in his pyjamas though the similar bulky padding could be seen underneath. There was a small strip of white plastic pants jutting out over the top of his pyjama bottoms but I pretended not to notice. “Hi Jase.” He weakly said. “Oh Mark, you look, well, sort of alright-ish... but I guess having an exploding appendix was no fun, eh?” He nodded with a grimace that was almost a smile but could tell, even though it was early, he appeared quite sleepy and I didn’t want to keep him up too long. Mum always said to me that sleep was the best way to recover from illness so I assumed it was the same for everyone. “Well, I’m glad you’re back with us...” I heard a slight sigh but didn’t know if that was because he was still hurting or the fact he was wearing a thick nappy and back with his parents. “The doctor said it will be a few more days yet before he’ll be up to full strength but... I’m glad he’s back as I’ve really missed him.” Billy looked over but his brother’s eyes were closed. “Can I get you anything bro?” There was no reply just a subtle wiggle and slight rustle as he settled down to sleep. “Well I’ll not stay...” I said trying to get away from the Edward’s house. This had not been the visit I expected and the adrenalin was pumping though my body... or it could have been shame. “Before you go...” I was manoeuvred to the furthest point away from the now dozing Mark. “Mum found the disposable and interrogated me as to where I got it...” “Yes I know she’d just waved it at me.” “Oh, sorry about that Jase but I didn’t tell her it was you, I said I found it and I was just wondering...” “Well she knows it was from me because she guessed.” I suppose I had to explain how she guessed. “She’d seen nappies out on the line in our garden at some point and put two and two together.” He looked at me stunned. “Did you confess?” “Well it seemed silly denying it as she knew and I didn’t know then how much you might have told her so I said it was all down to me. I said I felt sorry because you had to wear a fabric nappy and I thought a disposable might be nicer.” I could see him visibly shake. “If she knew and it’s now been confirmed that means we’re in for a beating. She’ll say I’ve lied to her and dad...” I gulped because I knew that was just what Mr and Mrs Edwards were like. “I hope it won’t come to that.” “So do I but...” he shrugged as if he was acknowledging that it was a foregone conclusion and unconsciously rubbed his padded bottom. “Oh Christ I’m so sorry Billy I didn’t mean to drop you in it.” “No I know but... Well, you’ve done so much for mine and Mark’s self-esteem and I can’t thank you enough for being there and probably being the only other person we can talk to about this.” He rubbed the bulging front of his shorts as if I needed to know what he was referring to... I didn’t. I nodded and hugged him close. “Sorry” I whispered “I’ll call again tomorrow or Sunday but if you’re out and about yourself you know you can always pop in to see me.” “Yer thanks.” He wondered over to Mark and sat down on his bed and quite affectionately ran his hand through his brother’s hair. “Poor guy, I hope I can protect him, he’s been through such a lot.” There was that brotherly love that I knew I had nothing to do with, if only their parents saw just how loving and responsible they are I’m sure things would be different. Alas, my involvement is already too much so decided to keep my own counsel on that opinion. “Okay, better be off, didn’t tell mum I’d be calling in before I got home so no doubt tea will be waiting when I get in.” “Yer sure... see you later and thanks for calling in.” As I made my way downstairs I was met at the bottom by Mrs Edwards, she smiled. “Thanks for coming Jason. You’re a very thoughtful boy and surprising friend.” She then passed me the cartoon disposable. “By the looks of things, you’ll need this more than William.” As I put on my shoes she pressed it into my hand, opened the front door and watched me waddle from the house in my sodden and swollen padding. As I walked the hundred or so yards between our houses I couldn’t help but feel incredibly guilty. I’m not sure if it was any one thing but a feeling engulfed me that it was my fault and yet wasn’t too sure just what that fault was. # Surely I can’t be blamed for the Edwards choosing nappies as the punishment for any rule breaking in their household... except it’s my wearing of nappies that gave them that idea. What’s more, that’s two more people who are aware of my situation and who didn’t seem to think it too odd. Maybe they did and that’s why they came up with it to punish their own kids. Oh dear, I felt awful about the entire thing. The one bright spot, mum was waiting as I walked through the doorway with a smile and a hug. Thank God for mum. After the usual greetings and a brief explanation of calling in on Mark I excused myself as I desperately needed a moment to myself and a change. “Don’t worry love, it won’t spoil, it’s just a salad... a ham salad,” she added to be precise. “Okay, won’t be long just need to get out of these clothes and into...” I didn’t really have to explain and my voice petered out as the need for a fresh nappy became more important. Naked but for my bulging nappy, all held close by those lovely plastic pants, I was pleased that they’d contained my anxiety led flood. The disposable was, despite being doubled up, quite sodden and I had to wonder if I was getting worse or just drinking too much. I have to admit we do go through an enormous amount of coffee and sodas at work. Anyway, it was a relief to be out of it so fished out an old pair of pull-ups for a change. I thought I might welcome the less bulky style and certainly hoped that sitting around the table with mum I’d be less conscious of the padded problems I’d unintentionally caused Billy and Mark. I was turning over in my head whether to let mum know about the Edward’s decision to punish their sons and that it was based on their observations of us. I was trying to see the logic in their decision. I mean, although she’d told me, it didn’t make any sense... and yet... she said it was having an effect. I didn’t know precisely how but that’s what she revealed. Instead I told her that Mark was home but still looked terrible. The doctor’s saying he’s better off there than in the hospital but he needs a bit more time to fully recover. “How’s Mr and Mrs Edwards coping?” Mum asked. I had to think about not saying too much but still letting mum know I found them strange. “Oh, you know? I really like the lads, they’re good mates and their mum and dad seemed happy to have him back but I think that set up is pretty weird.” I mean, I was still getting over the fact that for some time Mrs Edwards had been observing our washing. That was something that had never occurred to me, that my nappies would be the subject of anyone’s suspicions. Perhaps that was just me being naive and maybe the entire neighbourhood was well aware of my needs in that particular direction. Mum just nodded, conceivably she found them strange as well. # tbc #

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Fantastic, always glad to hear you're enjoying my latest offering?

Glad you're enjoying it Maly... hope there are one or two others ?

Part 12 I’d had many happy years of wearing a nappy but I never knew it could be so much fun. Tom had me doing things, and WAS doing things, I’d never thought about before. He teased, rubbed, kissed, cuddled, licked, whispered, nipped and nibbled all over my body but my nappy stayed on. We snuggled and softly caressed each other before passionately breaking off to snog each other senseless. Our thick padding and plastic pants became playgrounds as we did everything except take them off. However, after quite a few hours both were in a terribly distressed state. He asked if I wanted to stay the night and I nodded (mum is always right). He then said it would be his pleasure if I’d let him change me. This was something I wasn’t expecting and became quite nervous, despite everything we’d done, for it to happen as my nappy was completely and utterly sodden. He smiled when I told him of this and simply said “SNAP!” From under the bed he produced a package of Abena M4s and asked me to chill as he eased down my slightly ripped plastic pants and pulled at the tabs holding my disposable together. “I wanted to make sure you have everything you need.” I was about to say I always have spares in my backpack but that seemed a little ungrateful. “Hold on Jase, I’ll get a nice warm cloth and clean you up and then I’ll change you. Will that be okay?” This was nervously thrilling but I could hardly say no because my nappy and pubic area were just a greasy mess. As he toddled off to the bathroom (yes even Tom had a waddle wearing a wet nappy) my mind suddenly remembered that he used to change his little brother’s nappies. Those earlier thoughts about him changing mine and the fun I associated with such an act, overcame my initial anxiety. This was going to be fine, everything about this was fine and Tom was taking the lead, which I really, really wanted. He returned carrying a damp wash-cloth and a towel. “You know Jase,” he said as he wiped me down, the warm cloth feeling wonderful against my naked skin. “I might have to get rid of my hair,” he dabbed at my hairless crotch, “you look so sweet.” His gaze was making me feel appreciated and I couldn’t help but love the man who was so into me he was willing not only to change my nappy but wear one himself so I didn’t feel silly. “You look so inno...” I reached out and pulled him close, the clean-up forgotten I just wanted more of this wonderful man. Tom whispered “Are you sure?” Ripping off his wet padding I could see he was as excited as I was to take things further. Because we embraced our cocks rubbed together and, not having the soaked thick fabric between us, that felt incredible. He moaned in my ear and asked if I was definitely sure. “Please,” was all I offered in response. He broke away and smiled down at me, “Then how can I refuse such a sweet and innocent Little Bear?” Once again he gently lifted my legs onto his shoulders and reached over into his bedside drawer and took out lube, condoms and a dummy. He held the dummy up. “I want you to have everything you might need.” He raised his eyebrows as if he wasn’t too sure but still offered it to me and it seemed such a lovely, thoughtful gesture, I happily licked my lips in anticipation and let him lovingly slip it in. # We bounced around his bed (and once onto the floor) but there was something about this man that I wanted more and more of. Of course the dummy wasn’t in my mouth for long because I was moaning and squealing and being pumped full but Tom seemed to have the time and capacity to hold back and deliver again and again. Eventually, sweating like a couple of over-heated pigs, he orgasmed deep and long. His body twitched inside mine and my stomach was just a pattern of messy greasy streaks and globs. To clean ourselves up we took a shower together, he gently sponging every part of my body but by then I was just too knackered to respond to his sweet subtle kisses. Once that was finished he dried me down and we settled back into the bedroom. He stripped the sweaty bed and laid out a fresh sheet. He asked me to lie out and he picked up one of the Abena’s. “OK Little Bear, time for beddy-byes don’t you think, we have work tomorrow?” I nodded. “So let me get us both ready for the night.” He made sure I was completely dry before sprinkling powder all over my groin and taping me in. He opened the bedside drawer again and pulled out a pair of pink plastic pants and pulled them up. He then did the same to himself including a similar coloured pair of plastic pants. God he looked fantastic in them. “OK, sleep now... is that okay with you?” Again I nodded. “Here don’t forget this,” and slipped the dummy gently between my lips. “Now no begging for more sex because I’m worn out.” He joked. I was relaxed as he snuggled up to my back and held me in his arms. “Night Jase and thanks.” But I was so tired and at ease I just wriggled in closer and continued to gently suckle on my dummy. He turned off the light and that was it until his alarm went off at 07:00. So, I never got my celebratory meal, not even a milkshake; all I can say is that there are still two frozen lasagna waiting to be eaten - perhaps another time? # When the alarm went off I was a bit disorientated and not sure where I was. Tom was a very morning person and was awake and aware straight away and kissed the nape of my neck (we may not have moved position all night) and welcomed me to the day. It was strange waking up in someone else’s bed and of course I immediately ran my hand over the engorged padding and knew I’d filled it as per usual. For the first time in ages I felt I’d let myself down by not being able to go one night without soaking my nappy. However, I looked over at Tom who was now standing at the side of the bed and have to say he still looked stunning in his pink plastic pants, although it didn’t look like he’d filled his like I’d done. He patted my padded bottom, “C’mon lazy bear, you need the bathroom more than me at the moment so...” and pointed me towards the door. “There’re fresh towels in the cupboard and a toothbrush.” It seemed that Tom was well prepared for my visit so took one of his Abenas to change into. I liked the idea of wearing something of his to work... it was going to be a wonderful day. Within an hour we were both ready for work. He wore white boxer shorts, and looked so damned hunky, whilst I wore the pink plastic pants over my fresh pure white disposable. I felt on top of the world, as if everything had changed for the better and the thick padding only added to that. I could have skipped along the streets; the padding making me feel loved and protected because Tom knew, didn’t mind and absolutely encouraged that little side of me. We made small talk as we ambled along, avoiding the occasional pedestrian, about his university life, the friends he made there and the sports he played; he seemed to have crammed an entire lifetime into just three years study. I think I might have made a mistake by not taking that extra educational experience. Still if I had, I wouldn’t now be walking with the man who was my hero, lover and friend. # Despite my little waddle on our half hour walk to work, I don’t think I’d ever been happier. The new Abena hugged me just as much as Tom had done last night so nothing could have been nicer. “At one point last night I heard a little noise,” Tom was confiding as we walked, “a sort of licking sound and I wondered what was happening. Anyway, I turned the bedside light on and saw that your dummy had fallen out. So, I slipped it back in and you sucked on it straight away.” He beamed as he said this, “It was so damn sweet I nearly hugged you to death afterwards.” I felt so pleased with both his words and actions I couldn’t help but reach over and give his hand a squeeze. “I liked the pet name you used for me.” I said in response. He looked at me sideways as if to say “what?” “You know... because of my plastic pants with all the bears all over them...” still he looked unsure. “You called me Little Bear... and I thought that was nice.” “Oh did I? Mmmm,” he added thoughtfully, “maybe that does sum you up pretty nicely. A cuddly, soft, sweet and cute little bear... mmmm... I like that as well.” I timidly smiled up at him but wondered if he was pulling my leg at not remembering or had he simply not realised? # Work continued as normal and I wondered if we’d be spending more time together and asked him about the weekend. “Oh sorry Jase, I mean Little Bear, Terry and Barnsy are playing in tournament and I said I’d go with them. “Oh, can I come?” I asked innocently. “Not really Jase, it’s not one of those events... a lot of drinking, a lot of boisterousness, and team stupidity. I don’t think it’s your type of thing at all.” He seemed to think that was a good enough reason but I wasn’t happy. “When are you setting off?” “The team bus leaves tomorrow night and I don’t get back until Sunday night... I hope,” he added with a comical grimace. After last night my bum was sore again and I didn’t particularly want a repeat so soon. I’d gotten carried away and my body ached as well as my bum so... tonight would be too much and I wasn’t sure, if I was with him, I’d be able to say no because, well, I hadn’t said no so far. Mind you, nor had he! “Oh that’s a shame,” I pretended I was pleased he had plans. However, I knew this was a test of some kind and decided that we should both have lives beyond each other. All this intimacy was new to me so wasn’t sure if I was being reasonable or unreasonable. I did think, seeing as we’d just got together, that he’d have included me in his plans but, of course, he had friends other than me who he’s had for longer so I shouldn’t be complaining. I had met both these lads, men, in the rugby club bar and they were pretty noisy and ‘in your face’ then and I definitely wouldn’t have fitted in with their sense of humour or drinking culture. Perhaps Tom was right to leave me out of his plans on this occasion. Still, I wasn’t happy but thought I’d make my own arrangements for the weekend. Maybe Ralph or James or Kili would be around and we can all go out together and celebrate our ‘A’ level successes. When I got home mum said Billy had popped round the night before to say that they were expecting Mark home on Friday so didn’t think it was worth visiting him as he’d only be in hospital another night. Apparently, mum said that he seemed keen to tell me something but that was all she could get out of him before he had to go. I wondered if it was about the disposable I’d given him and just hoped that if it was, it wasn’t something horrible that his parents had cooked up for him. Then I thought - if that was the case they certainly wouldn’t have let him come round to see me, so, I put my own mind at rest on that account. Still, I wondered what he wanted to say. # I called James to see what he was up to and his mum said he was visiting Durham with his dad looking at accommodation and getting the lay out of the University, apparently it stretches all over the city and beyond. Meanwhile, a call to Kili had just caught him as he and the family were setting off to a family wedding in the capital. He joked that the Vivaha ceremony typically lasts for at least three days so I may never see him again. “They’re mad, colourful, but completely and utterly bonkers,” he laughed. “But huge fun with loads of music and family I probably didn’t know I had.” I heard his mother call him in the background. “Sorry, we’re running late. Who knows, I might well be married when I get back. See yer when I see yer.” I had no idea Hindu weddings lasted that long so that was that. That left Ralph and as he, like me, was already working I held out hope that at least he’d be available. He said he was already going out with a crowd from the market but that I should come along as they were off to a Karaoke Bar. I thanked him but said I’d catch up with him another time. He did say that he only got ‘Bs' and ‘Cs’ but his family were still proud of his achievements. I didn’t like to brag about my two ‘As’ and ‘A+’, the results didn’t seem to matter much these days as I had ‘other’ interests. Mum was looking at me when I put down the phone. I don’t know how long she’d been there or if she heard everything but I guess I must have looked a little lost. “Not seeing Tom this weekend I gather?” I shook my head. “Everything okay?” She queried as she moved closer and put her hand on my shoulder. I nodded and smiled that it was. “Just other plans with some of his old teammates.” “And no one else available sweetheart?” “No, well, I can’t expect people to be around when it suits me, they all have lives and I suppose, to some extent, I’ve been neglecting them for a few weeks now.” “Well, we can go out for a slap up celebratory meal if you like or I can cook us something special right here.” She offered. “What about tomorrow night?” “Actually mum, I want to see how Mark is tomorrow and I need to catch up with Billy to see what he wanted to say... is that alright?” “Of course sweetheart, whatever you want. You know my diary is always open,” she joked. “Right,” I said with purpose, “let’s go to Blades if we can get in on Saturday night and we’ll celebrate my ‘A+’ then.” “It’s a date and I’ll give them a call and reserve a table for two... unless there’s anyone else you’d like to invite?” “No mum, it’ll be just us two.” # Thursday night I was once again naked in front of my bedroom mirror examining my bum hole. We’d gone hard at it the night before and it still felt like he was pummelling away and I needed to take a crap all the time. Of course, as usual, I sought refuge and security in a well-padded nappy and enjoyed going to sleep sucking on my dummy. I had a very dream-filled night, which not only included Tom but Mark and Billy, James and, of all people, that lad on the bus. The thing was, it was he who became the main character in these dreams, or maybe they were fantasies. I relived that not so subtle grope but then he and all his mates began to strip and before I knew it all hell broke loose at the back of the bus. Legs, bodies, excited faces and surprisingly an incredible amount of padding were everywhere and I was engulfed by plastic pants sliding over my sweating and enthusiastic body. I’d never had a dream like it and I woke up to the messiest disposable I think I’d ever had. Thank god for the thick rubber pants I’d donned the night before because a look at my bedding also revealed a very restless person had been very active there. I was exhausted but when mum called to tell me I was late I moved at speed to the bathroom to get myself organised. The nappy just disintegrated when I removed the reliable pants but my body and bum ached. God knows what state I’d have been in if any of that actually happened? # At work I tried not to let my disappointment show that Tom and I wouldn’t be seeing each other at the weekend. However, I was mainly feeling incredibly guilty for having THAT dream. I mean, Tom was there to begin with but soon he disappeared and it was another who took his place. In fact, it was several others and I was desperate not to let him know what was actually filling my head. It got so bad that I made a few mistakes with the inventory but managed to correct them before the end of the day. As he left Tom caught up with me in the toilet and as we were alone gave me a parting kiss. “I’m going to miss you Jase... hope you’ll be okay.” “Yes, no problem.” I anxiously said as I was filling my nappy there right in front of him. “I’m going out celebrating my results with some ex-school mates so...” “Well I hope you’re not going to celebrate like we did,” he smiled at his sexual inference. I blushed madly and more pee splashed into the front of my soaked padding. “’Fraid my mates don’t know I’m, you know, gay so you’re safe on that front.” “Really?” He seemed quite stunned that no one else knew I was gay or hadn’t guessed. “Really,” I replied quite miffed that he assumed others would know. I then began to wonder how many of our colleagues knew. “You’ve gone all red Little Bear,” he said soothingly. “Maybe I should lock you up whilst I’m away and then I can keep you all to myself.” He kissed me once again. “Sorry Jase, I’m running late so... see you Monday and don’t do anything I... on second thought... just don’t do anything.” He grinned and with that parting comment ruffled my hair and disappeared to spend the weekend with his teammates. When he’d gone I went into one of the empty cubicles and pulled down my chinos and plastic pants. The purple disposable was quite wet after all I’d had it on all day so needed a change. Once I’d taken that off, and as it had been throughout the day, it still felt like Tom was hammering away so wasn’t going to take any chances. I wrapped myself in double disposables, pulled up the plastic pants with difficulty and could hardly fasten the top button on my trousers. This was stupid, I’d gone way over the top and the bulge in my pants was huge. Looking at the size another thought entered my head. My mind wandered to whether that lad who groped me might be on the bus going home. I let out an unanticipated moan. Bloody hell, I’ve just changed. # After an uneventful bus ride home I walked towards my house and, despite still feeling the slippery residue in the front of my nappy, made a slight detour to see if I could tell if Mark had arrived back home. I saw the car in the drive and thought if he wasn’t there I could ask his parents when might be convenient for me to visit. I wasn’t expecting what came next. # tbc #

really enjoying this ?

Why thank you kind sir... I hope you'll like the next slight bend in Jason's little foray into his sexuality. ?

From a person who knows what they're doing... it's amazing

Thanks and a ❤️ to you.

Part 11 I was in my room fidgeting and trying to sit comfortably, whilst sucking on my dummy and contemplating all the day’s events; I wondered if we could visit Mark, I was pleased about Billy and his disposable and of course my head (as well as other parts of me) was full of Tom. I was also only wearing a very nice thick purple disposable but without plastic pants. I’d changed when I got home, had a bit of lunch with mum but needed time to think what I should do next. I don’t know if I was over-thinking all this, I mean, when I’d been with mates or in a group at school and the subject of sex came up it always seemed to be something that happened. I can’t say I identified with any of what was said but I just accepted it as what goes on between two people who want to have sex. Even then, when I was at school, boys talking about it and bragging about it, I never engaged much in the chatter. I’d be on the outside just nodding and smiling when the occasion was needed or pass an ‘impressed’ comment. I was in the top lot of academically ‘gifted’, I use that term loosely, but I don’t know if it’s the same at all schools but anyone who seemed in the least bit clever had few friends and tended to be on the periphery of what’s going on. Maybe it was just the one I went to? It was like it wasn’t all real. Yes, there was talk but we were all school kids so I assumed everyone was like me and just not that interested but pretending to be... if that makes any sense. I’d never had a sex conversation with any of my friends and our school’s sex education was more of a joke than preparing adolescents for the real world. Of course there was chatter, comparisons and general ‘laddishness’ in the changing room but again, it didn’t seem that sexual. Perhaps now I see I’d done myself a dis-service by not taking notice. Maybe, I might have been more prepared had I listened to Tommy Dunnage who bragged about everything, whilst enjoying getting one up on the ‘dork’... me. It was no good, I really did needed to talk with mum about all this as making future decisions needed her calming influence to put my thoughts in some sort of order. # So, Sunday evening and although I could have been out with Tom, settled down in front of the TV with mum. “Muuuummm,” she must be used to that whine by now. “Yes dear.” “I’ve got something I want to talk about but I’m not sure if you’ll be happy about it.” “Well love, why don’t you start and I’ll tell you when to stop, how’s that?” She nodded as if that was permission to bombard her with all my queries. Now I had her attention I didn’t really know where to start. “You know I said that I’d got to know Tom better....?” “Yes love.” “Well what I meant by that was, ummm,” this was more difficult than imagined because I thought I could tell her anything, “we had sex.” I finally whispered. “Okay love, I thought as much but what is it... did you have doubts?” “No, but I wonder if I rushed it.” “Do you want to explain?” So I did. # Mum listened, nodded, smiled and looked concerned at the appropriate moments in the account of my losing it. She didn’t interrupt, frown or cast doubt on anything I said but patted my hand or gave me a cuddle. As I’ve established I do tell her just about everything but I never gave it any thought that hearing about her son losing his virginity might be something she’d rather not know about. In the end she sat for a moment and then spoke. “You and Tom sound ideal for each other.” She was holding me close to her chest so I didn’t have to reply. “He may be your first but might not be your last; life has a way of turning plans upside down.” I wasn’t sure how to take that comment – did she mean he may be my first ‘love’ but not the last, or did she mean I was a dirty slut and would have much more sex with many men because that’s what sluts do? “You’ve grown up a bit love. You’ve experienced something new and exciting and in truth, quite a lot of new experiences do not always go as planned or have the effect you thought they might. In other words, pain and pleasure often come together – like childbirth.” She grinned down at me at that point so I knew she wasn’t having a go. I felt I needed to speak but she just cuddled me more but then said something I wasn’t expecting, although I should have been. “Do you feel, because you still like to suck on a dummy and wear a nappy that you sense you’re too young for all that kind of excitement? That you’d have liked more time - perhaps being treated as a child more than an adult?” My sore bum told me it was all too late for that but I think she may have been on to something. I did still want to be treated as a kid (although I’d been in self-denial for some time) but on my terms. Actually, NO, because all my actions and thoughts had led to Tom and I going to bed and doing what we did... that wasn’t childish. But I wanted to keep the trappings. I need my nappies and dummy even at work to make me feel... well... actually... what? I need nappies because I still wet myself. I need a dummy because I’m unsure I could cope without it. Is all that true? Had I not, over the past eighteen years, just built those things up because I wanted to, not because I needed to? There was no reason for me to always be anxious but I was and sought refuge in my padding. Now I wore because I preferred to, I loved how they felt and the comfort they offered. Could I still be a big kid and enjoy doing adult things? Was I manufacturing guilt to hide other desires? Oh Jesus, this growing up was a bloody minefield. However, as if to bring everything into focus, as mum rocked me in her arms, I felt relaxed and too comfortable to move... and filled my nappy. Yes, it seems I AM really just a big baby. # It seemed like ages that mum hugged and patted my sodden padding. She didn’t appear in a rush for me to go and change or stop this intimacy. “Muuurrrmmm?” It sounded worse when I had the dummy in. “Yes sweetheart.” “Wo oo eber gesh fed u ov wall thish?” I spat the dummy out because even to me it sounded too childish. “No love, I love everything about this and wish it would continue forever.” She patted my soggy bottom even more. “However, despite what you may or may not want you are growing up. You have a job and it sounds like you have a special friend and things are changing.” She sat me up so she was looking directly into my eyes. “Love, I hate you growing up but know you must. I’ve clung to your little quirks and anxieties because they are you and... I love you. But, as I say, things are changing and I must accept these changes... you might just find that your priorities change as well.” “Mum, you look sad.” “I’m not really love. I’m happy that you’ve found somebody, happy you have a job you like with people you like...” “Not Tridwell.” I interjected. “No, not Tridwell,” she confirmed. “But, without Tridwell you might not have had Tom. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened yet or maybe, because of your shyness, it might never have happened. So, he may have been the catalyst to get things going between you both.” That was something I hadn’t considered. “Love,” she smiled her all-encompassing smile, “I’ll be here whenever you want me but you’re embarking on your own journey and I don’t want you worrying about me. Let me do all the worrying and you think about enjoying life and the new experiences it is going to offer.” It had caused me some anxiety that mum would feel different about me now. Her reassurance that all was well and approved was a huge weight off my mind. However, although I was feeling a lot better about myself one thing was certain - I needed to get out of this extremely soaked nappy. # Monday started like any day normally did with a wet nappy. I seem to be wet most of the time these days but I don’t realise it until it has happened. My bum was still sore but not as much, so that was a slight relief. Now I need to add here that I’d inspected my bum hole often since Tom had, well, you know. It feels one of the strangest things you can do but I was convinced, because I hurt so much that there must be damage. However, despite peering at my little puckered and strangely wrinkly butt hole I could see no problem. Nonetheless, the feeling he was still there persisted so what we had done was never far from my thoughts. That in turn made for my nappies, both night and day, to end up extremely used and abused. Anyway, a quick shower and get myself ready for work. A fresh disposable always makes me feel better so when I add a pair of blue vinyl pants with teddies all over them I feel like I’m fully equipped to take on the day. Once fully dressed I aim for the kitchen where mum has a cup of tea ready and put bread in the toaster. Not much is said and that’s not unusual because we are content to have silences between us. The bus is full so I have to share a seat with a young guy who is part of a larger crowd. They aren’t wearing school uniforms so perhaps they are on a day out or its one of those ‘dress down days’ some places have. Anyway, he’s noisily chatting away to the guys behind me and I’m trying to be adult but not tutting my disapproval at the volume of their chat. Occasionally the noise dies down a little and I’m aware that with the bus’s movement, I can hear the rustle of my plastic pants. I don’t suppose it’s too loud but to me it sounds like that’s all the noise there is. I notice this lad, who must have been about fourteen or fifteen, look down at my crotch when the rustling seems a bit louder as the bus takes a corner and I note that he must be looking at the bulge in my chinos. To me this is obvious to what lay beneath but the lad says nothing just continues his chat to his mates. Eventually he gets up to get off and I saw that he deliberately ‘tripped’ and his hand fell, on my padded crotch, which he gave a squeeze. “Ohh sorry mate,” he said quickly and winked then continued past me and down the aisle to the exit door where his friends were waiting. They disembarked but as the bus passed him he looked directly at me and smiled. I was shocked; I mean this was a first. Did he think we were the same age? Did he know what the bulge represented? Did he...? So much was going through my mind that it was only as warmth built up in my crotch I knew I’d spontaneously wet myself. I looked at my watch and realised I was running late but hoped I’d have time to change before I started work. # Of course that didn’t happen because as soon as I got in the Professor was there with a couple of his team waiting for me and to collect some items they needed; I was in charge of the inventory so had to check it out as well as back in at the end of the day. I also had to make a note of who it was for and where it would be used. I know it sounds dull but to be honest it wasn’t because it meant that I was involved in all aspects of the venture and not just the bit each team was working on. “Here’s the keeper of the keys,” the professor announced in a jovial way and that was the start of my work day. I didn’t immediately get chance to change and noticed that Tom was engrossed in something he and the team were working on so didn’t get to say anything other than “Hi”. He smiled (a particularly gorgeous and reassuring smile) and nodded but then a comment from a colleague had him focused on that. However, when I did get a moment and went to the restroom to change, all I could think about was that young lad on the bus and why did he grope me? It was no accident. Was he doing it out of bravado or what? He had a good feel of my padding so I guess he must have known but, other than what Tom and I had done on Saturday, this was the first incident where I’d be sexualised? I mean, actually, I’m not sure what I mean but I knew that something happened. Mind you, I was so glad I was thinking about this before I changed because I found myself unintentionally peeing into my already sodden nappy. I just hope it held and the plastic pants did their job. # A few minutes later, all cleaned up and in a fresh nappy, I joined Tom and the team as there was a lot to do. Occasionally I’d have to break off to do some inventory work but otherwise I was back working up close to the man who had taken my virginity. My bum was still smarting from his ‘visit’ but being in his presence brought back incredible flashbacks of what we’d done and in truth, I desperately wanted to do it all again. There were the odd nudge and friendly pat on the back so we did make contact when we could but I kept the urge to kiss him in full view of everyone to myself. We did manage to get some time together but weren’t alone long enough to speak too freely. However, he did say that he’d love me to come round so he could cook that meal for me. “I still have those two lovely lasagnes waiting.” He joked. I thought about it and suggested that Wednesday after work we could “do something if he wanted?” His face beamed. “That sounds great... is a meal at mine okay?” “Sure but I’m still a bit sore so...” “Okay, no sex just a small glass of wine... oh I forgot, you’re not that bothered about that are you?” “Not really but don’t let it stop you.” “Mmmm, it might be good for me to cut down so do you prefer anything other than Coca Cola?” “Milk.” “Then that’s what we’ll have... I shall make it a special ‘milky’ occasion, how’s that?” “Will we still have lasagne?” I teased. “Of course.” “Then I’m already looking forward to it,” and as if to prove the point I came in my nappy. The rest of the day simply flew by and the team progressed well with their task. # Tuesday evening Billy came round to bring me up to date on Mark, apparently he’d improved and they hoped to have him home by the weekend. I asked if it would be alright to visit him but Billy said that he wasn’t sure but would ask his parents. Of course I could have just gone but I didn’t want to make enemies of them so said I’d wait for their OK. He spent about fifteen minutes with me before he had to go – tight leash and all – but I asked about the disposables even though I could tell he was back to wearing fabric nappies again. “Still no let-up then?” I asked sympathetically. Billy shook his head. “No but I think that’s because Mark has to wear them in hospital.” “Oh, well I suppose that’s a good place to wear them.” “Yer, s’pose so but could really do with getting out of these because with Mark not being here, mum or dad have to change me and that’s just too embarrassing.” “I would have thought they’d have grown tired of all that by now.” “So would I but... well... I don’t know but I’m beginning to think it’s more permanent. I think they enjoy seeing us wearing these things.” “Bloody hell, really?” “I don’t know but they were really pleased Mark was wearing when he crapped himself...” “I don’t think he had a choice did he?” “Well, I think they see it as some kind of ‘sign’ of something... all I know is I’m still wearing and the terry pile is just getting bigger in our bedroom.” “Is it getting any easier?” “It did for a brief couple of days when they put me in disposables but since then...” “Sorry Billy.” “I wish I was more like you Jase, able to enjoy them more... maybe, given time... who knows? Anyway, sorry my visits so short but, I have to get back.” “Look before you go,” I reached into my backpack that was still by the front door and pulled out one of my spare cartoony disposables. “I’m not sure if this will help, or if you’ll want it or if you’ll get chance to wear it but, take this and I hope it gives you some of the pleasure I get when I wear one.” It seemed a silly gesture and maybe revealing more about my childishness than perhaps I should have done but felt he needed something. “Wow, thanks Jase,” he noticed the rather colourful characters. “Oh god, you don’t do things by halves do you... these are... are... I shall...” I thought he was having second thoughts and wouldn’t be found dead in something so immature. But no, he slipped it under his shirt and held it tightly to his chest. “Thanks again.” He smiled as he left me and then as if an afterthought said he’d get back if his parents said it was OK for me to visit Mark. # Wednesday morning I got confirmation that I’d passed my ‘A’ levels and mum said she was so proud that we should celebrate. I said we should do it at the weekend as I had a date that night to which mum just chuckled and said it was ages since I’d been on a sleepover. It was only then that I thought about this possibly being the night when I’d stay over and I think, in mum’s own way, she was giving me permission if I was having any doubts. “I don’t know about that.” I replied unsure. “Well love, you might want to celebrate... so I’m just saying.” “I’m not sure he’d want to wake up to a soaked bed.” “No, maybe not but you don’t know how things will pan out so...” All the way on the bus I just kept thinking of what mum said, she seemed to think that Tom would have no trouble dealing with a wet nappy. # The rest of the day passed off equally well and although we didn’t say anything in particular, it seemed obvious that others had noticed our closeness. I was happy knowing that Tom still wanted me around so, after work, he declined offers to join some of the guys we work with in the pub. From where we work to his block of flats is about a half hour walk, which he often runs, and changes out of his kit when he gets to the office. Today it was nice to just slowly saunter together. He was quite amazed that, although I’d lived in the city my entire life, there were many parts of it I didn’t know, so he was a font of information as we wandered along each street pointing out anything of any significance. On the lift up to the eighteenth floor he stole a kiss but it was nicer once we got inside Number 142 and we could relax completely. I took him by surprise by giving him the passionate kiss I’d been desperate to give him since Monday morning. Still in that initial clinch he helped me out of my jacket and I took my lead from him as he kicked off his shoes. “Oh Jase, I’ve been desperate to hold you...” He didn’t get to say much more as our lips locked and I hungrily sought more kisses and less chat. His left hand rubbed my back whilst his right hand patted my padded bottom. I could feel my plasticky teddy bear disposable tighten though tried desperately not to either cum or piss myself. He asked if I’d like to get more relaxed and we headed to his bedroom and started undressing. He stopped me and asked if I was sure. I nodded but he smiled and said he had another idea and asked me to wait... he wanted to strip me down. I liked that idea. How did mum know? # We stood facing each other in his bedroom. He simply told me to close my eyes and let him “explore my senses”. This was something new for me and although I wasn’t too sure did as he asked. For a while nothing happened and I began to have trust issues. I was sorely tempted to squint and see what he was up to but that would have been cheating. So I had trust and not wanting to let him down going around my head. Then I could hear movement and what sounded like the soft swish of clothing being removed but I wasn’t sure. Gently I felt his breath on my ear as he whispered for me to relax, think of nothing but to enjoy the moment. I was about to speak but he softly shushed me to stay silent. I felt his hot breath on my ear and then the tickle of a wet tongue tentatively lick my lobe and then around ear. It was the strangest of sensations both quite erotic and tickly. I giggled and wriggled slightly but then a firm hand held me still before he then began to unbutton and remove my shirt. All the time his softly spoken words or “relax” or encouragement that I was “doing fine” kept me steadfastly in place. His tongue brushed across my lips and then down my now naked chest, circling both my little nipples and continued down, down, down to the top of my trousers. I felt the button being undone and the zip slowly pulled down. He must have seen the new cartoon bears that played on the soft plasticky fabric. “Who’s a sweet little bear then... yum yum... I’m going to eat him all up.” “I’d never had a pet name before but quite liked ‘Little Bear’ I wondered if it would catch on. I have to say, from the very beginning of all this my cock was pushing out the fabric of my disposable. I was on the verge but desperately trying not to cum but it was difficult, I just wasn’t used to such sexual excitement. “Keep your eyes closed, but not too tightly,” he encouraged, “I’m going to let you lie out on the bed.” Again I was about to speak but he just gently put a finger against my lips as he slowly, almost imperceptibly, drew his fingertips down my chest. He eased me down and I felt my trousers and socks being removed. “Whoaaaa.” I felt my toes lightly being licked. “Ooooghhh” This was difficult trying to keep from reacting as my bubbling balls tried but failed to hold back the sudden yet inevitable rush. “Ssshhhh, don’t worry, relax Little Bear, you’re in safe hands...” He spoke in a whisper and I felt I had to do as asked and was pleased he’d cottoned on to the idea of a pet name. I’d leaked but knew I couldn’t help it but what had me even more surprised was that the erotic licking continued. That was despite all I was wearing - my disposable, now soaked but thankfully with the robust cover of my blue teddy bear plastic pants. “God you’re so sexy, so cute, so... bearish...” He licked, almost imperceptibly over my eyelids and then down to my mouth. His tongue subtle and light flittered over my sensitive lips before pausing as if asking for permission to enter. I parted my lips and let him in. Meanwhile, as we kissed I didn’t want to be the passive partner any longer. I had a desperate need to hug him close, feel his entire body pressed against mine so reached up and my hands hit naked skin. I pulled him close and he let me run my hands over his physique. It was warm and smooth but I could still feel his hard muscles. I ran my hand down to his firm bum but was met by the soft slippery padded feel of something I knew so well. Tom was wearing a plain disposable and he looked pretty good in it. # tbc #

Well DeeCee Thanks for filling us in as he fills his nappy but I have to say that a shaving brush, tickling your bum hole has to be one of the most erotic sensations around... if you care to try it. ?

Mahmoud – the shaver He arrived exactly at the time specified and I opened the door to find a rather good looking, dark skinned, 24 year-old on my doorstep carrying a holdall. As he entered he smiled a dazzling smile that immediately put me at ease and we shook hands. He told me his name was Mahmoud and that’s what I should call him if I felt the need to speak. However, he wanted to get straight down to what he’d come for and told me to go and shower. I told him I’d had one earlier but he insisted that I go again - As the hot water would soften the bristles as he shaved my hairy bollocks. He told me to turn off any mobile, music etc. as he didn’t want any distractions and sent me off to the bathroom. Meanwhile, he would prepare the area and get himself ready. This was a first for me. I’d seen his advert on a specialist site online for ‘Pubic Shaving’ and it appealed. The thought of someone else doing something so intimate had got my thoughts going mad and the excitement at the prospect had made sure I booked my new visitor at the earliest opportunity. The fact he took charge was a bonus and, even though I was a good ten years older and had six inches in height, it was good for me to know my place. # I spent about ten minutes making sure every part of my body got a good hot soaking and when I returned to the living room Mahmoud had laid out a huge thick white towel, as well as his shaving items and massage oils. He was also naked except for a shiny thick metal cock ring that was held in place by three leather straps; a thick one around his waist and thinner ones around the top of each thigh. His cock was pushed out by the ring but in truth didn’t appear to be that large or threatening. However, with his slim toned body the overall look was absolutely stunning and I settled down naked on the towel to let him get to work. Firstly he trimmed my thick pubic bush with a pair of scissors and when that was down to a manageable length he foamed up a rich lather spreading it all over my cock and balls. The feeling was of the most exquisite sensuality and of course my cock began to grow. I don’t have a particular large cock but it was firming up nicely as he ministered the foam and applied his razor. He was slow, methodical and intense, whilst replying in a soft whisper to all the questions I wanted to ask. Despite him saying he didn’t want any distractions he was far too polite to tell me to shut up. Manners and good looks – what could be better? “What country are you from originally?” “Iran.” “What are you doing in England?” “At the University studying agriculture, bio chemistry and English.” “What made you start doing this shaving… um… thing?” I struggled to find the correct description for what was happening. “My father taught me. We do this in the village where I come from. It is a tradition that the older men keep their genitals free of hair. The reason for this is steeped in folklore and is a bit too confusing for Westerners to understand.” I could tell he didn’t want to take the explanation any further and in all honesty my conversation was coming to a close as with each stroke of the razor my cock throbbed with delight. # He took over an hour stripping each and every hair from my cock and balls and made a neat leveled-off pattern around the top of my thighs. With every small or long stroke from his cut throat razor his finger, finger nail, palm or the edge of his instrument would gently rub and stimulate my hard-on even more. My mind was doing loops of desire and excitement as the thrill-factor seemed to increase but no offer for release was presented. I happily throbbed, pulsed and sweated manfully as he cleared my pubes to produce a stunningly smooth and utterly hairless surface. I don’t think I’ve ever been so naked apart from when I was a baby and the soft white area made my cock look even bigger, more proud and an absolute stonking organ anyone would have been proud to own. As he rubbed some sweet smelling liquid into the newly shaved area he just told me that this would take away any possible razor burns my skin might react to and would make it so the area remains silky soft and smooth for quite some time. I loved what he’d done and was all set to offer my thanks and let him be on his way… except he told me the job wasn’t over yet and that I should turn over. He told me that all my hair should come off and that included the great hairy tufts that surrounded my arse. I wasn’t going to complain. I looked at his cock and it had grown to a cute size itself, about four inches, and jerked up and down as he set about lathering up my bum. For all the sensuality that he had given my cock and balls I wasn’t quite ready for the thrilling feelings that my bum soon enjoyed. The foamy brush tickled and teased my very being as he lathered up my puckered and tight hole. Again he took ages and was concentrating even more on dispensing with the hair but making sure not to cut into the vulnerable skin. Under me my cock was as stiff as ever and I desperately wanted to shoot my load all over the thick white towel… and then some more… but another hour was spent keeping me on the very sexual edge as he slowly sliced away at the tight hairs that seemed to take an age to get rid of. I closed my eyes and gave way to all those exquisite calm feelings flowing over me and I drifted sleepily in between consciousness and unconsciousness. I came out of a fantastic relaxing dream and felt him soothing more oils into my naked bum and massaging my bum cheeks; his small brown fingers occasionally slipping and tickling my hole. First one digit, then a tickle followed by a slightly deeper probe and another graze from an errant finger nail, my God, this feeling was utterly amazing. In all my life I had never been fucked but this attention to my hole was such an unbelievable turn on I began to think about the possibilities. His hands came together as if in prayer and he formed a thicker digit by pressing two fingers together and pushing into my arse. I opened up to receive whatever it was and I felt the thickness increase as he spent a few minutes oily massaging my sphincter muscle. Again he did this most methodically and I was aware that my hole was opening up under this gentle but insistent attack and wishing he had a cock to match the horny lustful thoughts that were spinning around in my brain. # He ordered me to get up on my hands and knees and I did so without thinking as I hoped he would now let me relieve my bubbling, cum-filled balls. The fingers that he’d just spent time massaging my hole were now wrapped over my eyes in a sort of pretend blindfold and he moved them down to my mouth and tenderly offered them each to be licked. Although he was not being pushy I felt I had no alternative but to suck on each one and when I did Mahmoud let out a small gasp of pleasure and satisfaction. Once licked and cleaned his hands moved down my body and stroked my hips, which had started to buck slightly as if I was fucking some invisible hole. My cock was hard and desperate for release and my bum hole was now on fire, whatever that lotion was had produced an incredible sensation that needed to be satiated. As he played with my hips I could feel his cock nudge at my hole and was pleased that he wanted to fuck me. I thought that it was the least I could do after the things he’d done for me and hoped that he would get some satisfaction out of it. The nudge at the entrance to my burning hole just held itself for a few seconds and I was desperate to ease myself back onto him. He gripped my hips and started to pull me back guiding his cute cock up past my hot ring. As I pushed back I suddenly felt my hole being stretched wide and, judging by the size of it I’d seen earlier, I guessed that I’d be backed up to his pelvic bone by now but the length just kept going. With each inch I was stretched even wider and Mahmoud encouraged me to take the whole thing as he said I was ready for it. He pulled me back some more and my love muscle gaped in wonder as this thick object pushed me even wider. I began to get nervous but Mahmoud encouraged me more and insisted that I didn’t touch my own cock but just make sure I stayed upright and on all fours. Like everything else so far from my Iranian friend, everything had been slow, definite and gentle but now, with this huge cock embedded deep in my gut he let out some Iranian words and began to fuck me hard and passionately. I screamed in surprise but the foreign words just kept tumbling from his mouth. At times it was like he was saying some kind of prayer and at others that he was calling on all his ancestors to join him in this marathon fuck. He may have been calling me names, swearing at me or just happy to be screwing a newly shaved arse I don’t know but what I did know was that I had to work really hard to stay on all fours as this slim-hipped young man powered away into me. # My cock exploded a torrent of cum all over the towel and I’d never seen so much gush out of my knob - spurt after spurt seemed to make a huge lake and still he fucked deep yelling at the top of his voice. My arms buckled and give way but my legs stayed where they were so he was fucking my butt as my chest lay in my own pool of warm milky juice. I begged him to stop but he obviously wasn’t anywhere near ready to unload so I just gritted my teeth and relaxed my hole as much as I could. For another 30 minutes he fucked (and I came twice more) eventually shouting, in Iranian, that he had arrived. My hole was stinging, hot, used, wide and hairless as he withdrew and although, at that moment I felt used, I was unbelievably satisfied. I’d never had, nor dreamt of having, a session of such intensity and I was immensely grateful… if more than a bit shagged out. After a couple of recovering minutes I turned to thank him and he was busy unscrewing a long, thick pink prosthetic cock from his cock ring. His own cock fit nicely inside it and I could see that he had eventually cum himself as the stuff was dripping from the object as he held it up for inspection He patted my bum. “Very nice Mister… thank you,” he said with that slight accent. “I have enjoyed myself immensely.” Naked, newly shaved and with a sore arse that was sore but glowing… I was really a bit stunned and just had this stupid, uncomprehending smile on my face. He quickly packed his stuff away, cleared up and put everything back into the backpack he arrived with. As he got dressed I noticed that he slipped into a pristine white disposable, which he taped into place without a thought. He pulled up his trousers and then grabbed his backpack, pulled out another neatly folded disposable and shook it out. I knew it was meant for me and recoiled at the very idea. “No?” he questioned as I shook my head telling him I wasn’t going to wear a nappy. “This is impregnated with exceptional botanicals and especially formulated talc from my village.” He fluffed it out and a small cloud of powder rose up. “This will keep you comfortable, whilst the soothing nature of all those ingredients will add to the pleasure your newly shaved areas will appreciate.” My half-hearted protests were ignored as he told me to lift and I did. Before fastening me in he squeezed some oily gel into the palm of his hand and slavered it all over the now nude areas. “This is to be used at every change.” I didn’t quite grasp what he meant. “It will keep hair growth down and moisturize the area and will add more sensitivity.” He smiled, “And you will love the sensations this little piece of padded bliss will offer.” With that he taped me in and handed over the small jar of the cream he’d just used. “Remember, apply it sparingly but at every change and the effect is better if you wear…” and he pointed to the fresh nappy. “I recommend that you keep that one on for at least twenty-four hours if you can. Use it for its purpose if necessary but the benefit will be greater the longer you leave it on… give everything time to take effect. I can guarantee you’ll love the benefits.” I tried to tell him I wouldn’t be replacing the damn thing but he just smiled, shushed me and told me to close my eyes, relax and let my body, not my mind, do the thinking. Perhaps strangely I was still under his spell and as he let himself out, having taken the money I’d left as payment on the side table, I let myself feel the soft padded comfort of the disposable gently envelop my mind as well as my groin. He was correct, the padding was comforting and the newly shaved areas seemed to be aglow with sensitivity. I didn’t have to touch anything yet could feel the soothing unguents doing their job, seeping into my skin to make me shiver in delight. Whatever was in that stuff was quite powerful and soon my entire body was aflame and euphoric? I stood up and walked to the mirror in the bathroom. I assumed the reflection would endorse what I thought about wearing a nappy but no, I was wrong. The tight fitting piece of layered material hugged and comforted me and bizarrely looked and felt like it was needed. I had to do some appraising and realized that I wanted all of this to happen. I wanted someone to take charge and treat me in the way Mahmoud had done. I loved the reflection and the fact that the nappy was hugging me tightly so why would I want anything else? So, despite my initial reaction to wearing padding I now saw it as a positive that went with having a shaved groin. The fabric caressed my shaved cock, balls and arse and it was electric. It was only different underwear to what I was used to and who’s to say, this style was any worse. I ran my hand over the soft padding and it felt really nice and soft but in my head I could think of nothing except this was the correct item to wear for a recently shaved, baby soft guy like me. Mahmoud was correct the nappy was all part of the process and I didn’t want to lose that feeling. I was hooked so the nappy stayed. ********

Hi Guys Glad you enjoyed the chapter and are at ease with the relationship he's forming.?

Part 10 I was surprised to see the bus quite as full that time of night so had to sit next to someone else to get a seat. I have to say that the journey home was strange because, and I don’t know if this is the same for everyone who has just lost their virginity, but my bum was sore and I was wriggling about trying to get comfy. All the time it felt like he was still there and I couldn’t get out of my head that probably, from my constant fidgeting, everyone knew what had just taken place. Silly I know but there you go. I was guilty and felt like a marked man. I even assumed I must smell of sex but I was more worried about keeping control of my bowels. Then I got it into my head about what it said about me that I let things escalate so quickly. I don’t know if I was doing it consciously but my bum muscles were trying to both grip tightly and keep what felt like a phantom cock from continuing its sexual pounding. The trip was taking a while and so got to further thinking about how, out of everyone in the world, had I stumbled on such a good-looking guy as Tom, who wasn’t troubled by someone who wore a nappy? I thought about his brother David, and how awful it must have been to lose someone you loved that young. Then, for a brief moment, I had a mental image of me as David and Tom changing me with all the giggles and laughter that I assumed surrounded such a task. Then I felt shamefaced about such a thought but nonetheless it stayed with me all the way home. I’d lost dad at eight, he’d lost David when he was nine, so we’d both suffered loss at an early age. Did we have an invisible bond, perhaps a mutual telepathic understanding that recognised our shared pain? He loved his little brother who still wore a nappy when he passed and I loved my daddy who went out of his way to protect me and keep me safe. Was that it? Did I see Tom as a sort of surrogate dad? Oh good grief. # It was just after eleven when I let myself in. Mum was up but in her pyjamas and I suddenly remembered again I’d not let her know I was going to be late. “Oh mum, sorry, time just seemed to have escaped me.” I looked nervously at her. I was almost sure she’d know what I’d just done because I was convinced such a thing must change people. “It’s OK sweetheart, my programme has just finished so you’ve not kept me up. Anyway, you’re a grown up you don’t have to clock watch and tell me everything I’m just pleased you’re home safe and sound. Well goodnight love.” A kiss on the cheek, a hug and, as I was still standing, a slow pat on my padding and she wandered off upstairs. Well that didn’t go as expected. Perhaps strangely I anticipated some sort of inquisition whereby I had to account for every minute I was away but no, that wasn’t the case. Of course now I was thinking about what mum said, had I given off some indication? Did I look different? Did you change in some way once you were no longer a virgin? Did I smell different? I went over what had happened and, sitting on the couch in the living room, began to contemplate even more. One thing was for certain – neither of us had taken things slowly. # Was mum’s comment that ‘I was grown up’ referencing the fact that I was no longer a virgin? Did that constitute becoming a man and if so, why and how and what was I supposed to do next? Did Tom only like me because of my nappy and childish ways like his little brother (yes I had to admit that maybe I did have a juvenile side that I’d hardly kept hidden)? Was I elated or sad that I’d succumbed to Tom’s offer of bed so easily or did I feel I needed to repay him for his intervention with Tridwell? I mean, that was possibly the first time we’d been so close and I’d accepted his offer with barely a second thought. Was I that eager to... well... you know. Did that make me a slag or a prostitute? I had no reference because it had all transpired so quickly and it was me who let, no, wanted it to happen. The thing was the deed was done now so there was no going back. Of course, I expected that Tom and I would make something semi-official, if not to the rest of the world then at least to each other but what if...? Oh, that was a scary thought – what if that’s all he wanted from me and now he’d had it I was of no more interest? In spite of all this going on in my head, all the way home on the bus I’d held in a fart. I’m not proud of that but I could ‘physically’ still feel Tom plunging deep and it was creating a strange build-up that I was scared to let loose. Eventually, sitting alone on the couch I was able to release what I hoped was just a little extra wind. It turned out to be a wet and very messy deluge into my disposable. Oh God... time for another change and bed but a clean-up first. # My mind was in turmoil. At the same time I was blaming Tom for taking advantage I was equally sure it was something I’d desired. I mean, how else could I explain the speed at which I took up his suggestion of a move to the bedroom? The other fact was, all the way through, everything we did Tom had asked if I was OK, comfortable and happy about what we were doing. I may have stifled some of the pain at first but I was just as eager and as encouraging the more we got into it. I thought at eighteen it was time I knew what sex was all about and it seemed that my preferences was for the male form... so that settled one argument at least. Maybe I should have done some research in to relationships and what exactly ‘loosing ones virginity’ physically meant... and the outcome of such carnal action. In fact, in my dreams and sexual thoughts, hugging and kissing and playing with Tom had been about as far as my imagination had taken me. The actual penetration had been a painful revelation even if it was from the man I was obsessed with doing it. Tom had more or less asked for permission before we got to each stage and, although I was often gripping the mattress or duvet or biting the pillow, I never once said “no”. There were moments when I simply couldn’t believe what was happening or what I was doing but there was a definite urge to continue. Tom delivered more than my dreams offered and it was the physical contact of this hunk of a man holding, caressing and shagging me that meant so much to me. It hurt but it was worth it for such intimacy. The type of intimacy I hadn’t thought I’d ever get and I loved being loved. However, to be on the safe side, I’d wrapped myself in the thickest double terry cloth nappy and most durable looking rubber pants I could find as I settled down to my second sleep of the day. Alas I didn’t get much sleep - I kept going over and over again in my mind what we did. My nappy was very restrictive to the way my cock wanted to react. Even nursing on my dum-dum didn’t help my mind was just too chaotic. Of course, I woke up in the morning to my usual soaked padding and feeling more than a little rough; never mind a sore bum and ached everywhere. “Morning love... sleep well?” Mum said with a look of concern as I tentatively sat down at the table for breakfast. I’d cleaned myself up but even a cold shower hadn’t improved my slightly haggard look, although I couldn’t be certain that isn’t how you appear after you’ve just had the first real sex ever in your life. The nappy I’d changed into was as thick as the one I wore to sleep in, because of the continual feeling I was about to take a dump at any moment, I needed as much protection as possible. The rubber pants were gripping my thighs so tightly I was in danger of cutting off circulation. “Well you look unsettled sweetheart, anything the matter?” Mum rested her hand on mine as she looked into my eyes and just knew she could read my guilty thoughts. # I sighed and wondered how I was going to say what I was about to say. “Ermmmm, I got to know Tom a lot better... a lot, lot better and it’s taken me by surprise and left me a lot to think about.” “Oh sweetheart,” she came and wrapped her arms around me for a cuddle. “Did it not go as expected?” The concern was in her voice. “I don’t know,” I paused trying to think if it did or didn’t go as expected, “I didn’t know what to expect... I wish I had.” “Do you think you’d have done anything different if you had?” She patted my back in support. Now then, that was a question I wasn’t expecting. Would I? However, I didn’t get to take that thought any further because at that moment my mobile rang and I saw it was Tom. I didn’t remember exchanging numbers so this was quite a surprise. “It’s Tom.” Mum pulled away slightly and nodded. “Well I think you need to talk to him more than me at the moment... I’ll leave you to it.” She left the kitchen and busied herself upstairs out of earshot. “Hello”. # I was nervous what he’d say about last night - but incredibly pleased he called. Despite my doubts Tom was all compliments and encouragement. He joked that he’d slept right through until just then and was surprised he’d woken up to an empty bed. “How I wished I’d woken up to your lovely little body...” Whilst he talked I just wondered if he’d have been happy to wake up to a sodden bed, without protection I wasn’t sure I’d have stayed dry. As it was the fact that I’d fallen asleep and woken up next to him dry was an absolute bonus but didn’t think I’ll be relying on that strategy in future. “...you wore me out Jase.” He continued and it was a comment that ludicrously pleased me. We chatted for a while and informing me that he’d put his phone number into mine so knew I had it... and then said he couldn’t wait to see me again as Monday (tomorrow) was just too far away. It was Sunday and I usually met up with the guys for a kick-about in the park or... actually, since I’d started work these Sunday get-togethers had been happening less and less frequently but I used that as an excuse to put Tom off, for the time being. “Well how about this evening - we can go for a meal or a drink or to a club if that’s what you fancy?” I didn’t know how to tell him I was sore and felt continually in danger of crapping my pants. That wouldn’t have sounded very romantic and I didn’t want to be in a position where that might happen in public and the embarrassment of doing such a thing was too much. “Or, and I know I’m pushing it a bit, how about I make you a meal at my place?” He asked so sweetly it was a lovely offer but I was still a bit uncomfortable about my sore bum. “I’d like that but not tonight, please, I need some time...” I heard the lightness in his voice falter, “Have I done something wrong to upset you?” “No, no, nothing like that... it’s just, it’s well...” “Look, if I have I’m really sorry. I don’t like the idea that I forced myself on you... oh bloody hell... I’ve ruined everything... we said we’d move slowly and stupidly I moved too quickly.” “It’s not that,” I interrupted. “Look, I was a... virgin.” Yep, there I said it, eighteen and still a virgin and I felt silly and stupid and juvenile and ... well... my thick padded bolster was probably only adding to this admission. “Really? Then I’m even more sorry, I hate to think I hurt you in any way... I just thought you were a little unsure about me and that’s why you were nervous. I should have asked... no, known it was going to be your first time.” “Uuummmm well, maybe...” “Are you OK with what we did?” The concern in his voice was noticeable. That was THE question. It had been such a huge leap from thinking about sex (and not really knowing what that entailed) and then actually doing it. Shooting into my nappy at the thought of Tom was one thing; him shooting into me was something different... or was it? I didn’t know what was right or wrong just that it’s what happened. “To be honest... I’m a little sore (that was an understatement).” “Oh God... I’m really sorry, I thought it was what you wanted and you...” “Yes, yes it was... I mean... is... I’m just a little tender at the moment and would like to rest before...” “Before what?” He sounded concerned, as if I might be calling an end to this thing before it had really got going. However, I don’t know what devilment took hold but I purred down the phone. “Before we try it again.” At the same moment, and without touching myself, I shot a load into my ever absorbent padding. Yes, Tom was still having that effect - sore bum or not. # We talked a little longer and I asked him about licking my plastic pants. He was all praise because he said that when I was naked but for the protection his heart rate went into overdrive. He said the image of me wearing just a nappy and their slippery accompaniment was such a huge turn on... and because I looked so damn cute... he didn’t want to hold back. “Jason,” he said, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but... you are unbelievably cute. Even without knowing about your nappies, umm, since the moment we met I’ve thought how sweet natured and attractive you were. I also thought your shyness was adorable and, if I’m being honest, I just wanted to get to know you better. I had no idea we’d end up in bed together BUT I’m certainly glad we did. You’re just perfect.” OK, I’ve paraphrased it just a little but that was basically what he said. However, because my head was spinning with all those terms of endearment, I missed some of them. I know he was several miles away and on the end of a phone but I liked to think that he was playing with himself as he said those things... because I was. # Anyway, around 11ish James came to see if I wanted to do anything. Despite worrying he might be able to tell, and constantly itching at my bum and trying to wriggle the nappy a little, I thought I needed to take my mind off of Tom for a while at least. As it was a well-trodden course to take, we ended up in the park where Ralph and Kili were in deep discussion about a new TV series that had started the night before. Of course they asked if I’d seen it and instead of saying I was watching something on the other side, I told them I was otherwise engaged. I must have said it in such a way as to make them take notice because the next thing I knew I was being grilled as to what exactly it was I was doing. I stammered a most unconvincing reply so that set them off digging even deeper and calling me out if I wasn’t consistent with my replies. Through my own incompetence I could feel my skin burning red as I blushed furiously as I thought what I’d done but desperate to deflect their very personal interrogation. It was really silly because I thought by thinking about Tom and me ‘doing it’ they’d easily be able to read my mind and I’d give the game away. So, I was desperately trying to think of something else and settled on the meal I’d had when we celebrated the new team at work. So, what I was saying as answers to their questions was not in tune with what I was thinking so it came out like a huge lie and it appeared, even to me, that I was desperately trying to hide something juicy. I was, but not what they thought. They assumed I’d been out on a date, and although they had no idea who with, they assumed certain names were in the frame. I had never spoken about Tom so his name wasn’t there but a number of the girls in the neighbourhood were. However, although I knew I was gay none of my friends seemed to see that as a possibility. If they did they’d never let on to me about it. They knew I liked Helen two doors down from where I lived and they more or less declared that she was the ‘girlfriend’ I was seeing. They made the usual stupid male assumptions but I’m afraid as I didn’t outright deny it, the ribbing continued. Poor Helen was an innocent pawn in this ridiculous cover up. So much for owning what you are! With my deceitful words I’d let down Mark at my own first hurdle. I was a complete and utter hypocrite because I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about Tom just yet. # Looking like he was just returning from church Billy met up and brought a different conversation to the group. As he approached I couldn’t get over just how young he looked with his new short haircut and wearing a white pressed shirt, blue tie and blue shorts he looked like a ten year old about to take communion or some such thing. I know from when I saw him last that he was quite embarrassed about just how short his hair was but wasn’t sure if that was still the case. Kili started off with a crack about Sunday school, which at our church is for kids under twelve. “Ha-ha very funny,” was his response to Kili’s observation. “No, just been to visit my brother in hospital.” Despite Kili ribbing him I was checking to see if he was wearing padding under his rather short blue shorts and almost missed what he was saying. “Bloody hell,” James exclaimed loudly but of course all our minds immediately wondered if their father had beaten him half to death and that’s why he was in hospital. “What happened?” “His appendix burst late Friday night and dad rushed him to A&E... apparently it was pretty bad because he’s going to be there for a few days.” “Fucking hell, it makes me cringe just thinking about something inside bursting,” and Ralph gripped his stomach as if he was experiencing it himself. “He’d been complaining to me for a while that he was getting an occasional pain in his tummy but then it would go away.” Billy was now the centre of all our attention. “Only last night, when we went to bed he looked pretty awful and was sick. He didn’t tell mum or dad and later, in our room he shit the bed with the most appalling diarrhoea. I looked over and he was crying and I thought it was because he’d crapped himself but when I checked he was doubled-up in agony. I called mum and she saw immediately what was wrong and a short while later he was carried out to the car and dad was driving him to hospital. They did an emergency operation.” “Diarrhoea, eurgh, and a busted appendix... poor bugger, is he gonna be OK?” Kili spoke for all of us. “He was barely awake when we visited him but the doctor said the operation went alright but.... I don’t know they came up with a term I don’t remember... the upshot is he’ll be in for a few more days yet.” Of course I didn’t say anything though noticed Billy was still wearing protection and I thought how lucky it must have been for Mark to be wearing a nappy when such a terrible accident - diarrhoea - happened. Kili was right “Eurgh” what a mess. # The conversation carried on with each of us expressing our own various ailments followed by where was the worst each of us had been sick. Kili won that round by telling us about the time, when he was seven and in the middle of assembly, he threw up and as he was being led down the corridor to the nurse’s office he crapped his pants. “They sent for mum and she had to break off from an important meeting to come and fetch me. She wasn’t happy.” Jokingly I asked if he got put in a nappy as a result but the look Kili gave me was one I won’t forget anytime soon. Obviously I’d hit a nerve and if looks could kill I’d be a dead man right now. I quickly changed the subject because not only was I on dodgy ground with him but also Billy and myself. We changed the conversation to how badly the local team were doing in the Premiership. Later, as I was walking home with Billy I joked that at least Mark wouldn’t have to wear a nappy for a few days. Billy wasn’t so sure because he said as a result of the appendix rupturing his body was full of bacteria and had infected other parts of his body.... so maybe he needed a nappy even more now. I didn’t know enough about operations or appendixes... or is that appendices... so I couldn’t even guess what the poor lad was being subjected to. However, the rustle from Billy’s shorts told me he was still wearing so the major medical upset had not made his parents any more lenient. “I suspect,” Billy continued, “that’s why he’s been so cranky for the last week or so... I think the constant pain had got him down and it made him a bit insufferable but was never going to tell mum and dad because he expected them to be less than sympathetic. Besides, I don’t think he knew how awful it was going to get. I nodded in agreement as if this seemed a perfectly good explanation as to why Mark had been acting the way he had. “To be honest,” Billy was confiding in me, “I think they were pleased with themselves that Mark had been wearing a nappy when he shit his self... though changed him into a pair of briefs before they set off to hospital.” He took time to think that over before he continued. “However, this morning, as I was getting ready to go and see him they insisted I should be smart for the hospital and made me wear this.” He indicated his rather well-ironed shirt and shorts but the nappy didn’t appear as thick as I’d noticed previously. He saw me looking and guessed I was wondering about it. “It’s a disposable with plastic pants.” He smiled as if he was about to say something good about his parents. “I have to say that I don’t actually mind wearing these, they’re a lot nicer than the thick fabric ones I normally wear.” “Welcome to the club.” I hoped it didn’t sound unfeeling but I was so grateful to hear that someone else enjoyed a nice comfy nappy. It was also at that moment when the warmth of an uninvited, though not unwelcome, flow of pee filled the front of my own cartoony disposable. I briefly wondered if Billy had enjoyed such moments but thought it best, for the moment at least, not to ask. # tbc #

I'm not Tom ? but that first time can leave you wondering what you've let yourself in for? I wish everyone had a Tom

Hi, glad you're enjoying it and I think maybe you're right but it might be that a few grown up things are going to get in the way of that. ?

Part 9 Another confession. As I think I’ve made clear since that incident only a few days ago Tom had featured considerably in my daily and nightly thoughts. I’d tried to justify it by assuming I was just overly grateful to him but that wasn’t the case. When the professor said that the new team meant me and Tom would be working together I felt a huge surge fill my padding. Just the thought of us both together had produced an orgasm I had trouble not calling out. As it was, the noise I made sounded like I was just pleased to be part of the team – yeah. How or why I keep getting these sudden uninvited explosions in my nappy I didn’t know but I can’t pretend they are unwelcome. # When I arrived home from the meal mum was waiting to hear all about my day. I was enthusiastic and even if slightly slurry I told her how excited I was about this new development. She was equally excited and hugged me tightly. “And how was the meal?” I then described what I had and confessed to trying a couple of glasses of wine. I wondered if she would be disappointed but she just smiled and asked if there had been any other ‘developments’. She asked this question in such a way I wondered what she knew already. “Oh yes,” I cottoned on, “Mr Tridwell resigned so...” “Oh that’s good darling but that’s not quite what I meant.” Well, she may want more information but I certainly wasn’t going to tell her about my sticky nappy... “Was Tom enthusiastic about having you on his team?” She queried. “Well, it’s not his team... I mean... we’re on a team together and s’pose he’s happy about it. He did say he was looking forward to seeing a lot more of me now.” I saw her smile as if it was a job successfully completed and then looked at the clock. “Well I’m sure he is darling... I’m sure he is.” With one last kiss she said she was off to bed and was left with my thoughts. I wasn’t going to be long myself but one thing I did know... my sticky nappy was staying on for the rest of the night. # The following morning my padding was a complete and utter disaster area but I’d never felt more excited. Although a little tired, I’d spent quite a bit of the night thinking of Tom, I felt elated I would now be spending most of my working day in his company... at close quarters. I had briefly wondered what he’d make of me wearing a nappy but, as he’d not said anything when he first knew about it I assumed that it was of little or no consequence to him. I cleaned myself up and destroyed the manky disposable and replaced it with a nice, firm purple one with an extra soaker... I had no idea how the day was going to progress but wanted to be ready. I slipped into a rather robust pair of clear vinyl pants I’d recently discovered among the items mum had bought and hoped they’d meet Tom’s approval, should he somehow get to see them. I guess I now wanted him to see my padding but wasn’t sure how that could ‘accidentally’ happen. Once I arrived at work the place was abuzz with the news that Tridwell had gone. I was quite surprised to note just how hated he was because the mood in the office had lifted considerably. Speculation was rife as to the whys and wherefores but one of the unlikely scenarios was that he’d been head-hunted by a rival and to avoid taking company secrets was made to go immediately. This was quickly dismissed because no one actually believed that anyone would want him working for them. Of course, that was equally unjustified because he was obviously worth something to a rival company. He wasn’t a dummy. Anyway, my involvement was never mentioned and I was happy to keep it that way as long as it suited management. I wasn’t going to spoil the new situation I now found myself in and Tom had sidled up to me at the coffee machine first thing and suggested we keep it on the down low. In response I made a fool of myself by excitedly telling him how much I’d enjoyed the meal the night before and hoped we’d do it again. Too keen I thought to myself afterwards. He had just smiled and said it was fun but left it at that. To be honest, his less than enthusiastic response to my ‘invite’ dampened my initial spirit as we got things ready for the beginning of the project. Of course I was still the junior and ‘gopher’ but the atmosphere in the lab was better than where we’d worked before... more friendly and efficient. Professor Rashaan was a very hands-on type of leader, also very encouraging. As we all wore the required white lab coats it was difficult for anyone to know who the boss was. Once the more detailed side of the project had been discussed we settled down to our side of the venture. Although we were all working towards the same end, there were several different strands that needed to be explored and of course, my job was to help service all areas with the group’s requirements, whilst keeping tabs on what went in and out of the lab. I was quite surprised I’d been given such an important task of ‘inventory controller’ and loved the responsibility. At one point Tom followed me to the loo as I needed a change. My disappointment at his response to my ‘invite’ had led to an unintentional flow, which, fuelled by all the coffee I’d drunk, was inevitable. I was surprised to see him as I entered the restroom but he looked concerned and asked if he’d said something to upset me. “No, I just, well... erm...” I didn’t know what to say, even though in my head I wanted to blurt out how much I liked him. Instead I just stood there all hot and bothered and in a heavy wet nappy. “Look Jason, we’re colleagues and at work so we need to maintain some sort of professionalism. I think I know how grateful you are but... and our meal out was nice... here, in the lab and around the building, we are, colleagues.” “But, but...” He was looking directly into my eyes. “However, however, away from work who knows. I like you and I think you like me but, for the time being at least... and until we get this project underway... let’s remain friends, eh?” I looked up at him and saw there was a smile on his face. “With benefits” I cheekily asked. It was a phrase I’d heard but was a bit unsure to what it actually meant though felt silly and inappropriate at the time. Where this bravado suddenly sprang from I don’t know but it got the reaction I was hoping for. He burst out laughing and hugged me. “Well you certainly don’t mince words do you?” and patted my full padded bottom. I didn’t want to break this moment but suddenly realised about my padding and I still wasn’t sure for definite that he approved. “I think I need to change.” “Oh, I don’t think so Jason, you’ll do just as you are.” “I mean my, you know, padding.” I whispered the last word wondering if he was still aware of my nappy. “Oh sorry, yes, of course,” he was suddenly a bit apologetic, “your nappy.” He stepped back and appraised me once more. “Jason, I think a nappy just about suits you down to the ground... maybe... maybe...” At that moment someone else barged into the toilet and he simply asked if I’d be OK. When he got a nod from me he acknowledged the other guy who’d just arrived then turned and left. I entered the cubicle and quietly set about my business and wondered what exactly he meant by ‘maybe’? That hug had sent yet another spurt into my nappy but my mood had changed... I was happy. I could read all sorts of stuff into “Maybe” but for the moment I was content to know that he wanted to be friends. I could cope with that and I skipped out of the cubicle with a fresh thick disposable feeling on top of the world and eager to do my bit for the company. # By the end of the week things seemed to be going great guns, the Prof was happy with the team’s initial response and everything looked to be going in a very positive direction. Tom and I had kept things on a strictly professional level, although I can’t say that about my personal night times when things got anything but professional. However, on Friday night he asked me if I was doing anything on Saturday. I had nothing planned so asked if I’d like to go with him to a rugby game that one of his friends was playing in. Now, although I like a kick about as much as anyone, rugby is not at the top of my interests but as Tom was I agreed to an afternoon of watching his mate play a game. Of course I had hoped it would look like I shared an interest but mainly it was that it would be just me and him. I had forgotten to factor in the couple of hundred other people we joined on the touchline. Rugby has a lot going for it – thirty or so guys in tiny shorts jumping all over each other. However, I let myself be distracted as I imagined each of these beefy players wearing a nice colourful well-padded disposable under those little shorts... oddly enough that perked up my interest. If I had any doubts before I was definitely turning into a pervy gay boy with a nappy fetish? # We went for drinks after, well Tom drank but I stuck to Coca Cola where the banter in the clubhouse was noisy and entertaining. Tom introduced me as his new work colleague and I noticed a few nods of approval from one or two of his mates. I wasn’t sure if this was some kind of trial endorsement I was being subjected to or if this was how he treated all his friends but suddenly I felt a little nervous. Yep, and my nappy was filling without my knowledge, well to begin with at least. I had my little backpack which I kept with me whenever I went anywhere just in case of situations like this, so excused myself to go to the toilet. Before I had chance to get up, Tom looked at his watch and said we were both late for an appointment and that we’d better be off. I had no idea we had anything else planned but still wanted to change first. “I need to go to the loo first,” I spoke quietly to Tom hoping he’d understand. “Yes, but I live just around the corner so perhaps you can, well... do what you do there.” I nodded so we said our farewells, which was accompanied by a few “Hope to see you again soon Jason” which was reassuring. He was correct; his place was just around the corner but on the eighteenth floor of a twenty storey block of flats. Thankfully the lift was working. # The journey up was a little strange. I’m not sure either of us was sure what we wanted to say. Did he want to discuss my wet nappy or was that the last thing he wanted and was merely trying to save me the embarrassment of changing in a small public toilet? As it was I got more and more nervous the higher we went and my padding received an extra dousing in return. However, he smiled as we reached the eighteenth floor and the doors opened. His flat – No.142 – was along a short well-kept corridor and had a couple of evergreen plants guarding the door, which I thought was a nice touch. However, my anxiety had reached fever pitch (if that’s a thing) and I desperately wanted to be back home and in the comfort of my own place with mum and settling down to a meal on our knees in front of the tele. Despite his welcoming and encouraging smile, panic hit and I turned to leave. “Sorry Tom, erm, I can’t... I don’t... I’m not erm...” I was confused by my own confusion. “Whoa, whoa, whoa...” Tom reached for my hand. “This is just a place to change... nothing more.” I could see he meant what he said but I was at his place and... well...? I know it’s my own fault because over the past few days and nights this was all I’d dreamed about but... “Look Jason, nothing is going to happen, I like you too much for any stupid moves on my part.” He was trying to be reassuring and nice but all I could think was that I’d led him on and now I was bottling it. “Just come in, change, we can have something to eat. I’ve got a couple of lovely frozen lasagnes in the freezer...” he raised his eyebrows in a mock appealing fashion, “or just a cup of tea... it’s up to you. No pressure.” Stupidly I’d made this all about me and didn’t pick up on the fact that he was offering me more than being a colleague, he was interested in me as a person, someone he wanted to spend time with... a possible boyfriend... and I was blowing it. “Jason, if you want to go I won’t stop you but, from the way you’re waddling I suggest you change first... I don’t want you getting a rash on my account.” My anxiety missed his caring nature, which I should have remembered since he’d rescued me from an angry supervisor, but I had to agree my padding was more than a bit distracting and needed sorting. # The living room was really quite nice, like the flowery welcome on the doorstep it had plants everywhere. I mean, despite that, it was quite obviously a lad’s place because magazines were scattered around, the remotes weren’t organised neatly and the cushions weren’t all plumped and ready to receive visitors. However, it was well decorated and the atmosphere had a pleasant floral tribute (God I sound like I’m from House and Homes). It was very much like mine and mum’s place, we didn’t stand on ceremony but had a relaxed way of living... it was just the two of us after all. He pointed to the bathroom. “It’s quite small so might want to clean up in their first and then, if you need a bit of space, my bedroom is next door.” He then winked, “and should you need a hand just holler.” I wasn’t sure if he meant it or not but none of this seemed to faze him. I was about to change from a sopping wet nappy into a dry childish disposable and he hadn’t batted an eyelid. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.” I grimaced. “Why not? I used to change my little brother all the time and he never complained once.” He smiled then went to the tiny kitchen and I could hear him filling the kettle. Tea? # As I stripped and cleaned myself up I began to think about what he’d said – he had a little brother who he used to change, so nappies weren’t a new thing to him. I wondered if this was recently or, well, when? Anyway, I decided I’d do it all on my own and then I wouldn’t feel needy by us being that intimate. I have to admit my feelings were all over the place and I’m not sure a sensible thought was anywhere in my head. Alas, just as I taped up my fresh disposable (all thick and cartoony) I saw a pair of his rugby shorts hanging on the radiator. Immediately, I had an image in my head of Tom wearing the same rugby kit as his mates and shot a load instantaneously into it. How the hell does that happen? I could feel the greasy globs as my cock settled down but I was flabbergasted at what reaction just thinking of Tom had on my body. I’d have to get control over that wouldn’t I? Finally, I clambered into a fresh pair of plastic pants and pulled up my chinos. There seemed to be a bigger bulge than normal but that didn’t worry me... what we were going to chat about did. Tom looked relaxed sat on the couch, two mugs of tea were at either end of a little coffee table and he smiled as I entered the room. “Feeling better?” Guiltily I nodded wondering if he knew what had just happened in my not so freshly applied nappy. “Good.” He sipped at his tea. “Erm, you said you have a little brother you used to change...” “Hmm, yes, David, he was four years old when he passed... congenital heart disease...” He looked sad for a moment at the thought but then perked up. “He was such a lively little guy... always into things and, even though we knew we wouldn’t have him for long... he was such a happy little lad... I think of him often.” I was stunned. I wasn’t expecting our conversation to go in this direction. This was personal stuff, VERY personal and yet he thought he could share that memory, a memory that he found comfort in with me. I was shaken. “Ohh poor thing,” was my comment. He shrugged. “Yes, I was nine when he died but was such a lively little boy whilst he lived... you never knew what he’d get up to next. He certainly kept me and my parents on our toes.” He chuckled at the thought. “We shared a room but he was also quite incontinent so I helped mum and dad out with his changes. Even then, he never let the fact he was still in nappies whilst his friends were all in undies... it never bothered him...” he added thoughtfully. “Is that why you like me?” It was an obvious question but of course quite inappropriate to this moment but Tom didn’t mind. “No,” he smiled that endearing smile, “I liked you from that first morning at the induction. I tried to get your attention, inviting you to sit with us and you know, generally being in your company but you seemed so shy.” “So, that was before I told you about wearing protection?” “Afraid so.” “But why, erm, uh...” I had to think about this because why hadn’t I noticed at the time? We both took a swig from our tea to think for a moment. “Why did you come to Tridwell’s office?” I wondered. “Well, I’d noticed for a day or two you seemed preoccupied and I also noticed you were avoiding being anywhere in his company so I was, believe it or not, coming to ask if anything was wrong or if someone had upset you. I had no idea that Tridwell was that much of a rat but I’d listened to part of the conversation before I came in and that confirmed it. I hate bullies and you were being bullied so...” This was all too much because my emotions were about to erupt in a mass of tears so I almost leapt into his arms and gave him a worryingly sobbing hug. I didn’t want to let go and it was even nicer when my hug was returned. # We cuddled and I noticed he was sobbing as well. I know I’d identified with his loss of a brother and I think the loss of my father lay in this mutual grief. I didn’t tell him about dad but I have to say that hug felt really, really good. This was not turning out to be the change I’d been expecting but the fact I was being hugged by my hunky friend, whilst wearing a fresh almost clean nappy was absolutely wonderful. I knew he was aware of my padding because he was gently patting it and rubbing his hand up and down trying to console me... again it felt wonderful. Without thinking I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out my dummy. It was only when I was about to insert it between my lips that I realised what I was doing and froze. “What’s that?” He queried. “Oh, umm, nothing,” I answered nervously because it was pretty obvious. “Does it help?” “When I get nervous or sad it sorts of helps but...” “Well Jase, I didn’t think you could get more perfect but...” He gently guided my hand to my mouth in encouragement, “just do what’s best for you.” And with those simple, but reassuring few words, it slipped between my lips and I was sucking on it contentedly. (Did he just say I couldn’t have got more perfect?) # I stayed wrapped in his arms for quite some time. He didn’t seem in a rush for us to be untangled and it just felt right. I mean, I know he’s in his twenties, and I know I’m eighteen but he’s over six feet tall and built like an athlete, whereas I’m a scrawny five foot seven and felt as safe in his arms as I did when I wore my nappy. So, for the moment I was twice as safe as I’d ever been. As I relaxed and the sobbing dried up I was enjoying being in this man’s friendly embrace. I didn’t want to spoil the moment by talking and breaking the spell that I thought we were both under. He continued to pat my padded bum and I just snuggled in closer into his neck. “Jase, Jason.” Strangely I was almost asleep. “Er, ermm, ummm whashhh?” I answered my dummy making me sound drunk. “Although I’m enjoying this... I’m not sure you should go to sleep here... I have a bed.” Of course because I was all comfortable I just assumed so was Tom but for all I knew my bony knee could have been poking somewhere it shouldn’t or I might simply be taking advantage of a nice guy. However, I did feel relaxed and of course, it was Tom. “OK.” “OK? You’re OK with moving to the bedroom and getting more comfortable?” He searched my eyes for any doubt. This was a big move because I didn’t really know what I was agreeing to but desperately wanted this hero of a man to do things with and to me. I’d been dreaming of a time like this, when it was just us two and he could explore and do what he liked to me... well that was how my dreams seemed to go. I could see that he was a little unsure himself but acted like he’d come to a decision about something and this was the way to go. I nodded. He lifted me up and carried me to his bedroom. # I woke up on my stomach naked. I could only have dozed for a short while but it was already dark outside. A look across and the clock indicated it was 22:03 so it was later than I thought and I’d slept longer than I thought. Something else, I was no longer a virgin... we’d forgotten about taking it slow. After we’d got to his room he gently undressed me. Yes, I know he was very forward but I think he could tell from my lack of resistance, it was something I wanted to experience. Everything happened unhurriedly, it was as if he was checking to make sure I was OK with each part of what was happening. “Tell me to stop Jase... if you feel uncertain.” He kept reassuring me and despite anxiety hitting the ceiling I just loved the attention. I was leaking into my padding throughout his thoughtful and gentle caresses, his whispered words and his active tongue. I’d already shot a load when he first kissed me and from then on there was a constant tingle running around my body and into my nappy. Once I was down to just protection and sucking on my dummy he looked down at me and once again explained how perfect he thought I was. He ran his hand all over my skin lightly tweaking and squeezing, kissing and licking and I was in a different world. I wasn’t sure whether it was anxiety or something completely different but everything about the situation was new, exciting and I wanted to experience whatever this lovely guy could offer. I know I should have slowed things down, told Tom everything was moving too fast, but we were both caught up in the moment and my body seemed to react positively to what was going on. He placed his hand on the front of my padding and gently pushed it up against my rigid cock. I let out a moan. He smoothly rubbed the slinky vinyl and whispered how fantastic it felt and no wonder I liked wearing my “sweet little underwear”. He kissed my plastic pants and ran his tongue over them actually tracing the outline of my dick lying throbbing under the childish disposable. I have to admit this was nothing like I’d imagined when lying in bed at home thinking about Tom. This was real, intense and sexual. My past urges seemed so childish in comparison to what was happening. Tom was allowing me to experience what two guys who were into each other can do. # He kept up a non-stop account of how he felt whilst tugging down my plastic pants and then jokingly nibbled the tabs from my soaked cartoon nappy. He commented on how cute he thought the design was (just like me) and was happy to stop there if I thought he was rushing things. I encouraged him on and before I knew it was feeling his prodding cock all hot and urgent in my hand. This was a first, I’d never had another man’s cock this close to me but he offered it as a substitute dummy and, as if it was the most natural thing, slipped the engorged tip between my lips. Of course I’ve seen many a boy’s cock from when in the changing rooms at school. There was an awful lot of banter and comment about each lads ‘development’ but this was different, very different from anything I’d ever experienced before. Things were happening quickly but I was nervously enjoying all that Tom was doing. This is what I wanted, someone with experience showing me what to do. If I thought I didn’t know what to do I was wrong because I think what came next was like I was a natural. If not a natural then something in me needed satisfying and an explosion into my nappy was not going to be enough. Whilst I was kept busy he removed my padding and tossed it aside... I was now like Tom completely naked. What a strange sensation and what a mouthful. Tom seemed quite large in that department. I only had mine to go on but his was at least twice the size and girth of mine, although thankfully Tom appeared to enjoy playing with it. He took it down his throat with a lovely slurping noise which made me giggle. However, the warm, wet interior of his mouth was a stimulus I never expected and pretty soon was giving him more than that as he swallowed everything down. My body shuddered and a long moan could be heard. I didn’t know I could make such a noise. Tom’s body was everything you’d expect from a young man in his sporting prime. He was very much controlling the moment so when he gently put my legs onto his shoulders I didn’t object. A few minutes of playful teasing got me excited and wriggly. Things were progressing at speed but, again my anxieties had been replaced by a longing, a longing I didn’t know I had. He squeezed some cool gel over my bum and circled his cock around before slowly introducing me to an even more intimate place for a warm, slippery, rock-hard cock to visit. He entered my body. Oh hell, it was happening. # I’m not sure if it’s the same for everybody but it hurt. I mean I wanted it and encouraged him to do it but, it hurt... to begin with. He took his time and gradually urged his way in. He kept praising my bum muscles because they gripped so tightly. As far as I knew I was doing nothing but enduring this invasion however, his calming words to breathe and relax eventually found him inside my tight little ring. Even though my butt muscles were clamped firmly he still made sure I got what he had to offer. Once he thought I was ready the slow in-out motion began. I lay there not fully understanding just how significant this was going to be. This was my first real sex and I hadn’t prepared for what was to come. My squeals were of pain and pleasure though I had no idea I was making so much noise. He shoved as deep as he could go and I wriggled uncomfortably on the end of his cock but then he kissed me. Not a tentative little lip-smack but an intense passionate kiss that took away the pain, my anal muscles relaxed and he went as deep as he could go. The shock of such a thing inside my body had me spurting all over my chest. Meanwhile, my body shuddered as he explored each part of it. The pounding intensified and I cried out but he sought my lips and I hungrily embraced the pain. At the same time I wondered why this hunk liked me so much. # I have no idea how long we were at it. I looked across at the still dozing Tom whose hand was gently laid across my back as if still hugging me. He appeared so relaxed and sleepy, but even with his eyes closed looked absolutely gorgeous. I ached and felt a little weird, astonished at what I’d just done and feeling none too sure of what would happen next. Oddly, I noticed in these moments of my new awareness that my plastic pants were hanging from the bedside lamp and I could just see a slight bit of some cartoon characters lying under the chair. It didn’t look like I’d be wearing that disposable again. I didn’t want to move but I’d not told mum I’d be staying out so I roused myself to get up. I managed to do so without waking Tom and set about getting dressed. My bum was sore and felt like he was still pumping away. It was a new and unsettling sensation and I wasn’t sure whether I liked it or not. However, we’d done it several times so there must have been some part of me that wanted, no, needed it. Anyway, I thought I’d better put on another disposable to go home in so found my backpack and slipped into a fresh purple one. I retrieved my plastic pants from the lamp, wriggled into them and kissed Tom’s sleepy head goodnight. I left a note to say “THANKS” and that I’d see him in work Monday morning. I let myself out and cautiously waddled down to the bus stop which thankfully would take me all the way home. # tbc #

Jason is in for a major shake up to his life... whether he's ready for it or not remains to be seen. Thanks as always for your support Maly?

Part 8 The day had been weird and uncomfortable but Tom had done his best to make sure I was okay. Needless to say I was grateful, very grateful for arriving when he did but also he’d set off an array of feelings that I was only just coming to realise I had. I mean, I’d started having thoughts, you know, those types of thoughts about being with a couple of my mates and now... Tom. I’m eighteen and had never even thought about anyone in a sexual manner; not pop stars or movie stars or TV personalities... well, at least I didn’t think so. As I walked through the door mum was as always there to greet me. I wondered if this was something I could or should discuss with her. After the usual pleasantries I went up and changed, both my workwear and nappy, and returned feeling drier but unfortunately no more relaxed. “Mummm.” Yes it was that furtive enquiring tone again. “Yes love,” she could see I wanted to discuss something serious. “Erm, this is difficult, errr, um,” She reached across the table and held my hand. “What is it sweetie, you look a bit sad.” She gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. Now I’m not sure you believe me or not but, as I’ve said, it is only since I’ve known Billy and Mark wear protection that I’ve thought of them as anything other than friends. I mean, I know that we’ve hung around together for ages but I see them in a different ‘light’ now and it’s something I quite like but also a bit worried about. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve got something in common I doubt others have, or I like their vulnerability, or, and this I have to confess maybe true, I fancy them in nappies. James, Ralph and Kili are my main friends from school but we’ve all hung around together since we were kids and I don’t see them in the same way. Well, maybe James but not as definite as Billy and Adam who I’ve dreamt about. For instance: We’re playing around in our nappies like big toddlers but it’s fun and erotic I suppose but that’s only since I’ve known about their wearing protection. So, yes, all that imagery has been going through my brain and had a particular affect - I splatter into my nappy when they (and their padding) enter my thoughts. That same ‘tingle’ that ran through my body on discovering their secret and able to visualise what exactly that might look like was a huge leap in my self-awareness. And now, in just those few hours since it happened, I’ve had a similar ‘tingle’ when I think about Tom... and my nappy not only ends up wet but sticky. In my thoughts (my damned incessant thoughts) Tom isn’t wearing a nappy he’s just understanding about mine. In fact, he loves me wearing them and thinks I look cute. He’s always touching me and them... and that mental sensation alone is enough for me to blast more stuff into the multi-layered fabric. To be honest, none of this is within my knowledge or comfort zone but I have to admit there are things happening to my body (and things fill my mind) when I think of both situations. It’s not even confusing. I know exactly what my desire is and “whoosh” that desire has a reaction. I know I can talk to mum about anything... I just wonder if this is... I caught up with my answer. “Not sad really, ermmm, just a bit confused.” She looked again, waiting for me to continue. So I bit the bullet. “Mum, how do I know if I’m, er, ummm, you know... errrr... gay?” I looked down at her hand that was gently stroking mine. Mum took a few seconds before she answered. I wondered if at eighteen I should know about these things but in truth... my sexuality has been on the backburner and it’s never been an issue. Maybe it won’t be now but how do I know? “Sweetheart, you’re eighteen. You know what you like, who you like and what makes you feel warm inside. We’ve already seen you’re growing up...” I was embarrassed again at the memory of getting a hard-on in front of mum that time. “You don’t have to put a label on it if you don’t want. Is it becoming something you’re worried about?” There was that usual loving concern in her voice. “No, well, yes, I mean...” I took a deep breath. “Recently there have been a few times when I’ve wondered about my friends and how I feel about them.” I didn’t mention any names but she probably could have guessed, except she wouldn’t have known about Tom as I’ve never mentioned him. Now I didn’t know whether to tell her about this gallant knight coming to my rescue and how it made me feel, without revealing my supervisors role in the drama. Should I tell her about him? So I did. # When I’d finished mum looked at me and said, “Well this guy Tom seems like a really nice person but your boss... is a bit of a shit.” “Well that’s what the rest of the team think as well,” I grimaced, “but he’s still my boss and I don’t know how much sway he has with management. I don’t want to lose my job.” “Still, I think Tom is correct, the best way forward is to put in a formal complaint... take Tom with you as a witness... and refuse to do any of this sneaky supervisor’s illicit work. Stick to what you’re paid to do.” We discussed it a little more and in the end, as always, mum made me feel better and was in control of my decisions. It was Friday night but I had nothing planned so mum did something she hadn’t done for ages, ordered a pizza and opened a bottle of wine. I didn’t have any wine, to be honest, I’ve tried it several times and I can’t say it refreshes me like a can of coke or a cold glass of milk or a nice cup of tea come to that. So, I just drank my Coke, ate my ham and mushroom pizza and watched some murder mystery set in the Caribbean. By 10pm my eyes were drooping so I excused myself and headed for bed. Although it had been an eventful day, and the fact I’d all but told mum I thought I might be gay, I felt worn out. She hadn’t reacted badly or otherwise to the news and merely offered her usual encouragement for me to “follow my heart”. We’d cuddled and that was the important thing but she did warn me against mistaking my feelings for being ‘gay’ and ‘grateful’. Then she smiled and admitted that it was possible to be both. As I made my way upstairs she asked if I needed a change but I was still okay from earlier. So once I got to my room simply threw off my shorts and climbed into bed; the rustle of the protective sheet and my plastic pants welcoming me into my nice comfy pit. I grabbed my dum-dum and slipped it between my lips. I wasn’t sure I’d need it but just fancied having it there to help over any little worrying thoughts I might have had. However, between mum, me and I suppose Tom, we’d sorted out my next move. Oh... Tom was now at the forefront of my mind and completely without any help my body shook as a stream of stuff spurted into my padding. A feeling of total contentment then swamped my body so within moments, nursing and just a little damp, I drifted off. # I slept long and deep but of course woke up to my now usual soaked padding. I hadn’t had dreams as far as I could remember but had been slightly restless because I knew at one point I suddenly experienced that jerk – you know, you’re suddenly falling and your senses kick in to prevent it... that jerk. I know because I flung out my arm and knocked stuff off my bedside table and at the same time my wrist hit the edge. I woke up with a sore hand and a few bits and pieces lying on the carpet. I started to climb out of bed but my wrist really hurt so was holding it and feeling a bit sorry for myself. Mum came in when she heard movement and saw me clutching my arm to my chest. She instantly knew something was up. “What’s wrong sweetie?” “Nothing why,” I was trying to be brave. “Well sweetheart you look like an injured puppy - big sad, watery eyes and clasping what looks like an injured paw.” “Yer, I bashed it on the edge of the table.” I nodded accusingly in the direction of the immobile wooden object. “Must have lashed out in the night,” I added by way of explanation. “Were you dreaming about Mr Tridwell?” “Not that I remember... just falling and tried to stop myself but...” I left the rest unsaid as I tried to get up and pull off my plastic pants. My hand was still too sore to get much of a grip. “Okay, it looks like you need a hand so just relax I’ll help and then go get a shower.” Mum pulled down and released the soggy mass and relieved me of the rest of my sleepwear. She even turned on the shower and guided me naked into the cubicle. “Mum, mum, mum, I think I can manage now.” I said a little grumpily because she was patting my bare bum as I made my way. She thought this was delightfully funny whereas I was a little embarrassed. “Does my little baby want his mummy to wash him,” she teased as I struggled with the body gel. She knew exactly what she was saying (and in such a mummy type voice) as to wind me up after our recent conversation. “Thank you... but no.” It was difficult to play the wounded teenager because of being spoken to like a baby when your mother is holding your soaked nappy. “All right, but if you’re not out in five minutes I’m sending in a search and rescue party.” With the sound of the shower I couldn’t hear what she’d said. “No mum, why would I want a party?” # The weekend without work had left me plenty of time to think about the situation. I thought that Tridwell may well have sussed that I’d probably not sent an account in to HR and was calling my bluff. The thing was it had really rattled him when he thought I had so perhaps, for my own safety, I should do so. Of course I’d do as mum suggested and report the incident but also my mind was full of Tom. On Saturday afternoon mum and I were out in garden doing a bit of tidying up (my ‘paw’ feeling a bit better). Eventually we stopped and as the sun was out took the opportunity to grab a few relaxing rays. “Penny for them.” Mum was looking at me and I hadn’t noticed. I was unintentionally slowly rubbing the silky bulge under my shorts and peering off into the distance. “What?” “Your thoughts... you look miles away.” “Mmm, well, yes, I erm...” “You’ve gone all dreamy-eyed so I suspect it must be about something, or someone, special.” Why I felt guilty thinking of Tom I don’t know but even though it was mum asking, and she already knew everything, I got a bit defensive. “No, no. Just wondering whether it would be better to tell HR via email or a written letter, which would look more professional?” “Oh, really?” Mum knew me too well. “If that’s the case you need to send it as an email and cc a couple of people into it so there are copies for proof, should it be needed.” Mum was giving me sound advice even if she didn’t believe that was at the forefront of my mind. “Yes... that’s what I was thinking.” I pretended. She was still looking at me with a half-smile on her face. “I’m not prying love just want to see you happy and that faraway smile does not say email to me.” Although I had nothing to feel guilty about I suddenly realised that I was filling my nappy. Thankfully I’d put on a robust pair of plastic pants under my shorts but the suddenness took me by surprise. “Erm, I’m off to my room I’ll... erm..” “Okay love, what do you want for dinner tonight I was thinking Pasta Carbonara?” “Yes, yes, that will be fine.” # I hurried up to my room and stood in front of the mirror, dropped my shorts and plastic pants and saw how the disposable had absorbed a load of liquid. I had no idea I’d been storing so much pee but boy did I need to change it certainly wouldn’t have lasted for a second burst. I stopped to think because it wasn’t the first time I’d done this whilst thinking about Tom. The thing is, in less than a day, since he’d rushed in and rescued me; I’d seen him as a hero... my hero. Not only that, as had become very apparent to me, I quite liked him. No, not quite liked him... liked him loads and needed to get these feelings in some kind of order. It was no good; I couldn’t obsess about a work mate (and so quickly), what if he didn’t think in the same terms? What if it was only an act of gallantry? Oh God how rapidly my life got turned upside-down. A few days ago I had no worries (apart from my usual anxieties) but now, well now I was in danger of grassing up my boss and making a fool of myself over someone who just helped me out of a sticky situation. That isn’t me... I just live happily with mum and don’t have such uncertainties. Except I do, over everything, so why was this any different? I wasn’t sure I liked this growing up and going to work malarkey, it was all so puzzling. How do you negotiate all these complications correctly? I reached for my dummy and sat at my laptop, yes wearing only the soaked nappy, and as my wrist still ached a bit, typed the email to Mrs Garfield one-handed. # Having spell-checked the account of what happened, and had mum read it to make sure I didn’t sound like a whiny little toddler, I pressed send so now my future was in the lap of the gods. Of course I’d cc’d Tom and Professor Rashaan and hoped I hadn’t crossed some kind of company protocol. Mum and Tom had both emphasised how contemptuously I’d been treated by Tridwell, as if of no importance, so it was only right I should stick up for myself. Mum said I’d done a good job so far... I hadn’t told her that I wet myself when an angry Supervisor grabbed my lapels. Despite mum’s words of compassion and reassurance my stomach was still doing loop-di-loops and I wondered if I’d done the right thing. I couldn’t settle and even the TV didn’t distract my mind from going over and over the things that I’ve no doubt done wrong and are sure to surface when Mrs Garfield calls me in to explain myself. I wish I drank then I could do what I see worried people on TV do and drink themselves into oblivion. Alas, come morning, and my problems had converted to an extremely messy nappy. Thankfully, mum’s insistence that I wear thick fabric nappies and ‘robust’ plastic pants to sleep in paid off. My full night time padding showed I was just a little baby who had absolutely no control. So, although the mess was well contained, what little self-esteem I had slipped to an all-time low - so much for reaching adulthood. I lay there thinking about what I’d done. No tears this time just the knowledge that I’d crapped myself yet again and wondering if this was going to be a regular thing. I could feel the gritty mess covering my arse and the heavy weight of a well-sodden nappy clutched against my genitals thinking it was time to take action. It was Monday morning and so much I knew was going to happen today... this was an early setback I just hoped it wasn’t a portent of things to come. However, the thought was more of a mental thing because I could hardly move I was so disgusted with myself. Then for some reason Tom slipped into my head - I briefly wondered what he’d think of me shitting in a nappy? The thought of this good-looking twenty something protecting and changing me filled my head and totally unbidden... I spurted a slimy load to join the rest of the mess. Now I really did feel guilty, ashamed and guilty... dirty, ashamed and guilty. In spite of that, WOW! # I eventually roused myself and set to the business of cleaning up and getting ready for work. I dreaded what the day would hold once I got there and contemplated wearing briefs instead of my usual protection. One look at the heavy load I’d just dispensed with indicated that now was not the best time to take such a risk. Maybe, sometime in the future I might feel able to pursue the wearing of underpants but to be on the safe side. Especially as I thought it was going to be a torrid day, I settled on my usual thick armour and found that the thick disposable’s ‘hug’ gave me the security I felt I needed. I coupled that with a soak pad or two and finished off with the thickest pair of rubber pants I could find. Nothing was going to escape should I fall victim to my own anxieties. Mum asked if I was going to be OK and of course I said I’d be fine. “It’ll sort itself out love.” She’d whispered in my ear as she passed a little plastic bag that I knew contained extra disposables. “Just in case sweetheart.” I acknowledged her thoughtfulness and concern so slipped them into my backpack where there was now a permanent stash. Mum knows me better than anyone so I wasn’t fooling her, I suspect she could see the anxiety etched on my face as I grabbed my jacket and made my way to the bus stop. There were six others waiting so I just joined the end of the queue hoping the bus wouldn’t be long but also dreading getting into work and what might be waiting there for me. There was no one else I knew on the bus so the journey was without any distractions, which of course made me think. Not that I hadn’t done anything but think of the consequences since I’d sent that email but now, as the building got nearer my anxiety level grew exponentially. My nappy was a sodden mass by the time I arrived. # I paused a moment before the main entrance, the lanyard around my neck would admit me but then what? I’d thought up so many different scenarios but none of them ended well. The main and most disturbing scene I conjured up whilst on the bus, was one where as punishment for my ‘false and harmful accusation of my superior’ I was made to work in nothing but a nappy so that all my colleagues could see that I was nothing more than a pants wetting baby with a toddler fetish. Tridwell’s words of condemnation and mockery had hit home. There was so much nervous liquid held in the fabric that I was now walking with a heavy and obvious shuffle. # Anyway, despite my many misgivings on whether I’d done the correct thing or not I had to get this over with so no use waiting. I held my pass up to the device and after a brief wait and ‘click’ the door slid open and I entered the building. Of course my first job was to make my way to the second floor and change before I met anyone else. I put my head down, determined not to make eye contact with anyone until I’d completed that task but of course I should have known... that wasn’t to be. Mrs Garfield had been waiting and as soon as she saw me called me into her office. She looked most agitated so any chance that I could go and change first went out the window as she waited at the door until I was inside. She indicated the chair where I’d happily sat at my review but knew that any conversation now was not going to be about how well I was doing. She sat down behind her desk and looked from me to her computer and then back. “Jason, this is a very serious allegation,” I was waiting for her to say something angrily and that I was fired but she didn’t. “You poor man having this happen.” Her entire demeanour changed to one of sympathy and although I was holding my breath in trepidation I felt tears unexpectedly flow. Apart from the soaked padding I hadn’t realised just how fearful I was and those tears became a flood. She passed a tissue... and then another. Whether I was eighteen or not didn’t matter because whatever I’d been clinging onto for security slipped into an abyss of anguish. “I’m sorry Jason but this type of thing should never happen.” Her voice was low and face just full of genuine concern but I took very little comfort from that. Why it had suddenly become such an emotional situation escaped me - the tears were genuine but totally unexpected. “I’ve already spoken to Mr Tynan and he’s confirmed what he witnessed... the altercation with Mr Tridwell...and of course I shall be speaking to him later.” As I calmed down I felt a fool for letting my emotions get the better of me. I’m sure no one else but a child would have burst into tears and yet, I did and I couldn’t help myself. Mrs Garfield let me take time to get back a little control. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to go back to your lab just yet but Professor Rashaan has asked for you to accompany him today. He feels he’s been rather busy and has neglected his youngest assistant. Perhaps you could nip along to his office, when you feel up to it and, I suspect, after a visit to the washroom to splash a little water on your face...” she tilted her head as if it was just a suggestion but a good one. She carried on saying something but I remembered I was completely soaked so needed to make that visit before I did anything else. I made my excuses and left but not before thanking her for her concern. I also apologised for creating difficulties for her but she just smiled and said that’s what HR is for. # I made my way to the washroom and as I still had my backpack found an empty stall (thankfully they were all unoccupied) and with some relief pulled out my dum-dum, sat on the closed loo seat and sucked and sucked to calm myself down before undertaking the ‘big clean up’. I felt tired and drained and the day hadn’t really started yet. I wondered if the Professor’s interest was going to be just a diversionary tactic to placate what Tridwell had done. I’d hardly said more than half a dozen words to the Professor since I’d been there so I was more than a little anxious about what might happen. However, he was the man in charge and perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad thing to get to know him better. I didn’t know which way to think. Again I was building up problems where they might not exist but I was still so unsure of where I stood... would I still be in a job tomorrow? Eventually my dummy was able to sooth most of my trepidation and I was capable enough to clean up without too much difficulty. However, as I was completely soaked, I made sure this time the heavy soggy mass didn’t slop onto the floor. I was very careful even though I knew there was no one else about. Once freshly nappied and with dum-dum firmly hidden deep in my lab coat pocket I made my way to the professor’s office. He was giving a little lecture to his staff (minus Mr Tridwell) about an urgent new project the company had been allocated by the government. Although some of the team would continue with whatever they were working on, he was putting together another group to concentrate of this ‘special assignment’. He looked up and saw me wavering in the doorway. “Ah, Jason isn’t it? Glad you could join us please take a seat.” Tom had budged up so that the bench he was sitting on now had space so I slipped between him and Jimmy Floyd to hear the rest of what was being envisaged for the forthcoming project. As I’ve said I had to sign both an NDA and an Official Secrets Act contract before I could start working at the firm so just what we’d be working on has to be quite vague. Just to say it was theory working alongside practical projections but it would appear that I was one of the chosen to work on this with Tom, whose degree was in this very area, and four others. I felt both privileged and happy. It also meant that I would no longer have Tridwell as my supervisor I’d be working directly to the Professor. # Now although I did quite well with my ‘O’ levels, and I expected to do the same when the ‘A’ level results came out, I wasn’t a genius in any particular area. However, I was looking forward to being part of the ‘special team’ the prof had put together. Of course I wondered if it was a salve by the company to help HR over a tricky situation with Tridwell but, because I’d be working with Tom, I didn’t really mind. As long as me and that horrible supervisor had as little to do with each other the better as far as I was concerned. Anyway, the new area we’d be working was in another part of the building, closer to the prof’s office, and the facilities were much better. Even the small kitchen area for making coffee and microwaving snacks was better equipped. After that first day it was suggested that we all go out for a meal and a drink to celebrate this auspicious start to what the rest of the guys thought was an advance in their careers. I suppose it was also a sort of bonding exercise and even better, the professor was picking up the tab. I called home to tell mum what had happened and that I’d be late home. She was full of praise for me taking control and hoped I’d not get too drunk. This was a joke on her part because she knew I didn’t drink... in fact I hated the stuff. However, this was going to be the start of a new development in my career so wasn’t too sure what would happen. Before we left for the bistro that had been decided on, I went to the restroom to change out of a very damp nappy and into something a lot fresher and drier, I almost skipped along to join the guys as we set off the hundred yards or so down the main road to our destination. The first round of pre-meal drinks came and I was the only one to order orange juice. There was much joking about this but was all good banter and I didn’t get the impression anyone thought I was spoiling the party, even if it had entered my head. I knew I didn’t like to drink but also knew that maybe, at my age, I was expected to join in. However, I wasn’t forced and as Tom was by my side the entire time... that was pretty cool. Conversely, he liked a drink and think he was enjoying the company of his new teammates. I suppose, if you’ve been part of a team before, and I knew Tom had at university, you get into a habit of being involved. I was surprised at just how dry and funny the professor was and the whole team seemed to bounce off his witty comments. Tom made sure I was involved in everything and at one point he wondered if it was OK to tell the others about Tridwell but shook my head, I didn’t really want to think about him at all. # Just before we were called through to the eating area as our table was ready, Jenny, Mrs Garfield’s secretary arrived, she was dating Amish one of the team, and whispered to him that Tridwell had resigned. She didn’t know why but was to take immediate effect. She saw him packing his desk and security taking his pass. Tom patted me on the back, “You’ve just got rid of a very nasty piece of work. Not bad for your first couple of months working”. He laughed but there was only him, me and the prof who knew the real reason. Anyway, we ordered our food, and another round of drinks plus wine to go with the meal. As I say the professor was very good and not as serious as I expected. This gave the rest of us licence to also be a bit silly. However, once the meal arrived I was coerced into having a glass of wine, to “celebrate my victory” Tom whispered but I much preferred the carbonated water. It was a great night and Tom bundled me into a taxi at the end of the night. I’d consumed a couple of glasses of Chardonnay (I think that’s what it was) and was feeling quite light headed. “I shhallll,” he slurred, “look forward to seeing much more of you in fu... futuuure,” and patted my well-padded bottom as I climbed into the back seat. For a moment I hoped he’d climb in with me but he just smiled his enigmatic smile and reiterated that he couldn’t wait for us to start to work “....more closely together.” Despite having had a drink or two I don’t think I was reading the situation wrong. I smiled and the resulting urge to give him a kiss was strong but stopped myself. Hmmm, that had never happened before... well... except in my most recent of dreams. # tbc #

Yes, this Tridwell business is going to lead to some dramatic changes for Jason and will he be relying on his dum-dum even more as a result? Hope you enjoy the next chapter . Tom and Jason are in for a shake-up in their relationship.

Wouldn't we all wish for someone as understanding as her? ? Part 7 When mum got home from her day of seeing friends I was sitting in front of the TV still only wearing my t-shirt and pull-up. She smiled her greeting and kissed the top of my head as she enquired what I’d been up to all day. “Oh, nothing much, a trip to the park for kick about,” I lazily explained. “Many people around?” “Yes, the weather seemed to attract a fair crowd.” She disappeared upstairs. “Have you eaten?” “Yes thanks... do you want a cuppa or anything?” “No love I’m fine... have you...” there was something else I didn’t quite hear. Mum arrived back completely changed. Gone was her smart summer dress and instead she was in her relaxing sweatpants and jumper. Her hair was down and she looked a good ten years younger. “That’s better,” she said stretching and then curling up on the sofa. “You look a bit different yourself today,” then added with a smile, “and it’s not just your skateboarding pull-ups.” It had been an eye-opening day so far. I mean the thoughts that had been zooming around in my head, the conclusions I did and didn’t come up with. The pleasure of seeing my two mates in their padding... even the little kids wearing also gave me a kick knowing I wasn’t alone. Yes, I know that there are always little kids wearing nappies but, it was just the affirmation I needed right then. AND, on top of all that, it was such a nice day to be out and about, wet nappy or not. “Muumm,” Yes the elongated word meant I had something to ask that I wasn’t sure about. “I’m all ears darling, what is it?” She looked over and patted a place next to her on the sofa for me to go and join her. I did. “Well,” I wasn’t sure how to start this bit... so I cleared my throat, “Eruughmmm, well I just wanted to say that since I started work, things have changed a bit for me.” “Oh yes?” “For a start, I like to wear nappies all the time... even there... where I didn’t think I would. They seem to give me confidence and, at my HR assessment I think everything is going well, or at least the lady in charge said so...” “Well that’s good isn’t it?” “Yeess but there’s something else and I’m not sure if it’s good or bad.” “Okay, do you want my actual opinion or do you want me to tell you ‘it’s all alright and you’ve nothing to worry about’?” She said teasingly. I explained about Billy and Mark and that I’d seen them at the park and they thanked me for going around and well, letting them know they weren’t alone in the nappy situation. I mentioned they were out and about and I could tell they were padded, and guiltily, how much of a thrill it gave me actually seeing them that way. I knew I should feel guilty being pleased about my friend’s nappy situation but I wasn’t. I knew it was selfish but I couldn’t help that now I wasn’t the only one I wanted it to stay that way. Mum thought for a moment and then looked me up and down. “Quick love, your pull-up isn’t going to hold...” I jumped up and headed for the bathroom I was unconsciously getting a hard on and only aware I was doing so when mum pointed it out. “Oh Christ.” I said jumping up embarrassed and taking the stairs two at a time. I slammed the door to my bedroom shut and wondered what mum must think of me. I was completely red. I could feel the shame and embarrassment make my body glow. I’d never done that in front of my mother before. I was also nervously peeing into the pull-up so rushed to the toilet hoping it would contain most of it. I only just made it but a dribble was flowing down my leg and needed a cloth to wipe up the little pool I’d made. This was ridiculous... I’d not done either of these things before (got a hard on and wet at the same time) and now I was in a state because my body was doing just what it liked. I could feel my heart pounding wondering if this is what I’d become – an eighteen year old adult baby? I’d never put those two thoughts together before but think it was the sheer embarrassment that made me hope not to be in such a situation again in future. Baby and adult, baby and adult, baby and... I heard the floorboards creek outside so knew mum was coming up to check I was OK. Despite any embarrassment I knew I’d have to confront what had happened eventually so made my way back to the bedroom. “I didn’t expect that.” She said as if she knew it was just as much of a surprise to me as her. “No, sorry, I, I...” I was lost for words but mum had already selected a thick fabric nappy and a pair of thick plastic pants. “Might I suggest sweetheart that you get yourself fully padded and then we’ll finish our chat.” “Mummmm, that was what I meant about how much I’ve changed. I’m not sure why but... well...” How can you bring such an admission to an end? How can I explain my cock stiffening like it had? How can... I wasn’t sure why I’d started to tell her except, well, it is mum and I tell her everything. She was about to leave but I needed to know that things hadn’t changed between us, that I could control such a thing. I was riddled with doubt, shame and of course embarrassment when out of my mouth came a request that surprised me. “Mum, can you do it for me please?” I asked knowing it felt strange but needed her to take charge. “Are you sure?” I nodded so she came over, removed my towel and spread it on the bed. “Okay, hop on.” So I did. # My head was full, though of what I’m not too sure. I mean, I’d been thinking all day and several scenarios had flitted in, taken hold and then, just as quickly, flitted out again. I closed my eyes as mum set about her usual methodical way of making sure everything was clean and correct when it came to a nappy change. It had been this way since I was a baby but, this I knew was different. It was like I was asking for something I shouldn’t and yet, mum had no qualms about supplying me with it. “Mum,” I whispered, “is this weird?” I still had my eyes closed because I was scared at what her expression might say. She paused for a while before carrying on. “Look at me sweetheart.” I opened my eyes and she was smiling down but that expression also carried - I mean what I’m about to say. “Jason, there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for you... and this... well, I have been doing it off and on for eighteen years so you can tell it doesn’t bother me.” She poured some oil over my parts and started to smooth it in. “Sometimes you simply over-think things... lift,” I arched my back and she rubbed the oil into my bottom. “If this is what you say you want, like wearing a nappy, then it’s what you feel you need.” She finished rubbing in the oil and picked up the canister of talc. There was a quick puff and my genitals were covered in a white cloud. “I can see you’re already relaxing so this... this... mother and son connection we have obviously relieves some anxieties but it shouldn’t replace them with others.” She pulled the terry material between my legs and tightly fastened me in before wriggling up a pair of thick pale blue plastic pants. “My advice is to stop this over-thinking business and enjoy what you enjoy. This is what you want? It isn’t hurting or involving anyone but you and me... so stop worrying. If you don’t want this... you can stop whenever you like but, in the meantime, I love my son and that means more than anything else.” I smiled in response, it was the reassurance I needed. “We have each other but,” she shrugged jokingly, “you’re growing up and there will be things that are bound to change. I don’t want you to think you can never come to me with a problem, nor do I ever want you to worry about having new friend and experiences. This job is the right thing for you... it will help you fathom out who you are and what you want.” She patted the finished padding and smoothed hair from my brow. “I love you too mum but what about, you know, earlier...?” “Sweetheart, you’re eighteen and it was bound to happen at some stage.” She said with some reassuring vigour. “I’m not embarrassed that my boy is growing up, has feelings and enjoys a nappy. You’re my son and I love everything about you so... something like that is neither here nor there. It’s just something that happens to a boy and whether you’ve been aware of it or not, I’ve been dealing with it since puberty set in.” I think she could see the relief (with a bit of confusion) on my face. “Are you happy? If you are that’s all that matters because I am.” She left me lying out on my bed totally relaxed. I lay there wondering if I was happy. All-in-all this had been a pretty weird Sunday for me but the bottom line was... mum and I were strong. However, all these other thoughts going on, well, I was still trying to sort them out. # Monday morning I was in the office bright and early. I’d made coffee for everyone and was feeling pretty good about myself because I could feel the thick padding hugging me tightly under my trousers. There was also a nice sort of rustling noise because of some new vinyl pants which I found quite reassuring. After all the stuff I’d thought about the day before, and having happily seen the boys wearing their padding in public, I was feeling immensely buoyant. It was as if I hadn’t a worry in the world and that felt good. So, when I was called into Adam Tridwell’s office I had no inkling of the way the conversation would go. ”Ah, Jason, I just want to back up what HR said at your last assessment. Oh, by the way, do you have the time?” He smiled encouragingly as I took a seat. There was a nice soft ‘whoosh’ as I sat down which made him prick up his ears. “9.35.” I said confidently checking my watch. “Nice watch, I’d know it anywhere. Oh yes, there’s something else,” he paused, “I assume it’s you who’s changing their nappies in the restroom area?” He’d spoken so nonchalantly that for a couple of seconds it didn’t register exactly what had been said. Of course, during the tussle he must have recognised my wrist watch so didn’t really need to hear my voice. Then my body ran cold, I was lost for words and my mouth gaped open. “It must be hard being the youngest member of staff and still have to wear protection and I suppose, keep that a secret. After all, who wants the rest of the staff to know they’re still in touch with their infantile side... to such an extent?” I sat open mouthed unable to move or speak as he carried on. “I think it was a mistake throwing your soiled cartoony disposable on the floor but I’m sure you have a few other babyish habits that you enjoy... in one way or another.” “Erm.” “Well I’ve noticed you toying with what I assume is a dummy in meetings. You might think you’re being inconspicuous but... afraid not.” “Erm.” “I can tell when you waddle around too and from various areas that you’re carrying quite an amount of padding and I think that’s fine for a nice boy who does his work and doesn’t cause a fuss.” “Erm.” My mouth was still dry and my head was spinning as to what this unwanted revelation might mean. “So Jason, as I say... you’re a nice boy with impeccable manners and I’m sure your work colleagues will understand should they find out about your little, shall we say, fetish?” “But...” “I know, I know,” he said jovially as if he was my best mate, “you have to wear a nappy because you have a urinary problem... is that right?” He teased as if he already knew the answer. I looked up at him, my eyes wide with apprehension and I could feel my nappy soaking up a deluge of nervous pee. “But of course, a man with that kind of problem wouldn’t be wearing such childish, cartoon disposables would he? Only a toddler, who loves his nap-naps,” he said this in a mocking manner, “would want all the babyish comfort a nice thick colourful nappy, featuring all his favourite infantile characters around him. Some might think such a person was perhaps a debauched pervert of some kind.” “But, but, erm, I do have to, erm....” I squandered any chance of getting ahead on this disclosure by not being certain of where I stood or what rights, if any, I had. The warming flow was now being soaked up and I could feel my disposable doing its job but I was at a loss for what to do or say. “No need to worry Jason I have no intention of revealing your little perverted secret - no, sorry, our little secret.” He saw me exhale with relief. I’d been so surprised by his observation I don’t think I’d breathed at all throughout this confrontation. “But of course that means in exchange,” he paused, “I want something from you.” # Apprehension left me unable to respond, it was like I was a deer caught in headlights just waiting for the speeding car to smash into me. I had no idea what to say or do I just wasn’t prepared for such confrontation. I had hoped my lab coat would hide everything but there was no getting away from the fact that I’d tussled with my boss when my soggy nappy had disappeared under that toilet door and thanks to my watch he’d guessed it was mine. “Do you think your colleagues will understand that they have such a pervert working alongside them?” He was sticking the knife in and giving it a turn. Although I didn’t believe I was a pervert I could see that to others it might seem that way. “Maybe they’ll all want to see what a baby they have making their coffee whilst perversely wearing a nappy, eh? I’m sure it would surprise quite a few of them?” He saw how nervous I was getting and my hand reached into the pocket of my lab coat. “Yes, I think sucking on your dummy would be a good idea. Go on, don’t be scared, it’s what you want isn’t it?” I vaguely shook my head but he was insistent. “GO ON use it I want to see our youngest employee doing what comes naturally.” Now it didn’t seem a request but a command and I was so scared I didn’t dare refuse. Slowly I pulled it from my pocket and nervously massaged it hoping it might calm down my throbbing heart. “That’s it baby, just slip it in and I’m sure you’ll be fine,” the encouragement carrying a threat. I did pop it in and strangely, for the situation, it did help settle my distress. “Right, now that’s in... this is what I need from you...” # Basically he was bad-mouthing the new intake of research assistants so wanted me to spy on their work and report back on any new developments. I didn’t voice my concerns that as the boss surely he already had access to all their work but he was paranoid they were working on something else that Professor Rashaan had organised separately. He was convinced he was deliberately being kept out of the loop by his boss and that made him concerned. Therefore, because I was often wandering around bringing things and taking stuff away (a general factotum), hearing things because nobody stopped their chat when I was around like they did when he came into the room, I was ideally situated to report back daily on anything that was said or hinted at and to steal any notes I came across. I said I wasn’t comfortable with doing any of that but he asked if I was comfortable about everyone knowing what a little pervert I was and that stopped any argument on my part. So my workmates had been correct in their initial description of him being ‘an utter devious and self-serving twat’. So this is what it’s like being grown up and a working man; intrigue, deceit, lies and spying on your colleagues? As I went home on the bus that night I was in a quandary, did I do as directed by my boss and give in to his demands or risk the disapproval of my colleagues when they found out about wearing a nappy to work? The thing is, I think I let the hostility of the man get the better of me, I wasn’t thinking I just let him tell me what was going to happen. I mean, I’m a worker and part of a team so I should be contributing not spying. I was a little indignant about letting myself be cajoled into feeling I was a ‘pervert’ when I had no such notion. However, I had a slight problem. I’d come to rely on wearing a nappy now that the thought of returning to briefs seemed an impossible task if I didn’t want to pee my pants. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of forcing me to spy, nor did I intend on spying, but I also couldn’t see me doing without my nappy. What to do? Young Mark suddenly sprang into my mind. I’d told him to laugh it off if confronted by bullies and here was I bludgeoned into thinking less of myself. WELL, NO NO NO, I will not let Alan Tridwell take that much control. The thing was - did I want to make a big thing of it or just let it pass and do nothing for the paranoid fool? I decided I’d simply ignore him and, should he feel the need to reveal my secret then so be it. # I spent the rest of the week trying to avoid Tridwell. Every time he caught my eye, I’d pick something up and depart in the opposite direction as if I had something else to do at that moment. I saw his angry face but, despite his threat to expose my tendencies, he just seemed to seethe but do nothing else. On Friday, just before home time, he cornered me and I had no option but to face him. “OK pervert, I’ve given you loads of opportunity to speak...” He was all gnarled up and all but spitting his words at me. “Forget it,” I interrupted. “I’m not spying on my colleagues and friends... so do what you feel you must.” He looked even angrier, as if he couldn’t believe I wasn’t caving in to his demands. “However, what you need to know is that I have sent a letter to HR about our conversation, the threats and that you want me to spy on my colleagues and paranoid about Professor Rashaan... and about my medical condition whereby I need to wear a nappy for hygiene and comfort... so...” “WHAT!” he screamed. I saw the colour drain from his face and the expression change from anger to worry. “You can’t, I mean, I, erm, ummm, no.” He grabbed me by my lab coat. “You’ve got to get that letter back, it will mean the end... oh fuck, fuck, FUCKKKK.” I’d like to say I simply brushed his grip away but I was in fact stunned, and a little afraid, at his reaction. I thought he’d simply say “well played” and we’d forget about it but I forgot just what a ‘self-serving twat’ he was and his grip tightened. “OK fucker, you’d better retract whatever it is you’ve said otherwise I’ll make life difficult for you... you snivelling little cunt.” There was total madness in his eyes and I wouldn’t have put it past him to have punched me there and then. However, at that moment Tom Tynan popped his head around the door and saw what was happening. “You OK Jason?” He was as big as Alan and didn’t look he was that afraid of calling the boss out. “Fuck off Tynan this is nothing to do with you.” He spat in his direction. But Tynan was having none of it. “Let go of him you fucking cunt or I’ll paste you all over your fucking office wall.” And he immediately advanced on him with a threatening fist. Seeing the advance of a healthy, sporty and tough twenty something... the forty plus year-old immediately let me go. “We were only having a bit of fun.” He had backed down as soon as he saw that Tynan wasn’t in the least bit afraid of him. “Just a bit of banter and office humour...” “Are you OK?” He looked at me and to say my heart was beating twenty to the dozen would have been an understatement. “Yer,” Tridwell tried to speak on my behalf and being dismissive of the entire situation. “Just a bit of a lark, nothing to get your knickers in a twist over... something and nothing.” “Jason, do you want to report this incident to HR?” Tynan was looking into my terrified eyes. “You needn’t be afraid... I’ll be with you if you do.” “Of course he doesn’t,” Tridwell again tried to dismiss what had happened, “Nothing to report because nothing happened... isn’t that right Jason?” At that precise moment I was too stunned to speak because not only had I wet myself, I’d crapped myself as well. I was afraid that Tynan might smell what I’d done if I went with him to HR, so shook my head and excused myself heading for the toilet. As I exited I heard Tynan say that Tridwell was a very lucky man but if he saw me so much as speak to me again he’d punch his fucking lights out. “Yeah, yeah, now fuck off back to whatever hole you crawled out of Tynan,” he said settling himself behind his desk no doubt pleased I wasn’t going to say anything. “I don’t need you telling me what to do.” # I suppose I could have gone straight home but instead I grabbed my bag and headed to the restroom to change. I didn’t want to carry all that mess around with me all the way home. I was still shaking when I locked the cubical door and started to strip. My plastic pants, as usual, had done a fine job in keeping any dribbles contained but as I released the sides of the disposable the smell wasn’t easy to hide. At that moment I heard the main door open and I just knew it was Tynan checking that I was OK. “Jason, I know that’s you... are you OK mate?” He sounded most concerned. Mate? “Yer, sorry it just upset me a bit and I’ve made a bit of a mess, sorry...” I didn’t know what else to say except, at that moment, and as if I had no control, the full disposable fell out of my shaky grasp and slopped onto the tiled floor. I just knew that he saw the cute but shitty cartoon character and I had no excuses left. A pained “Sorry” was all I could muster before I burst into tears. After a good fifteen minutes or so I’d recovered and replaced the messy disposable with a fresh new one. I wasn’t expecting Tom to still be waiting for me when I eventually let myself out of the cubical. “Are you sure you’re OK Jase?” He looked very concerned. I wasn’t sure what to say as I was embarrassed enough with everything that had taken place but was in this colleague’s debt for his rescue. I didn’t dare look in his eyes. I was all cleaned up but carrying a soiled disposable in a small black plastic bag in one hand. Oh Christ, what was I going to do or more importantly, what would Tom think of me? Of course Tom was one of the guys that joined when I did and got on quite well with all of them. However, he was always more attentive and I’d found that I spent more time hanging around his work space than anyone else’s. He was twenty-four, played rugby for his university and had won a local championship playing badminton. I’d found all this out as we chatted over the occasional coffee, or I helped him with some minor part of the project he was working on. He really was an ‘associate’ but when he’d called me ‘mate’ I was truly astonished. I hadn’t thought he thought of me as that much of a friend, merely a colleague. Of course, I may be giving that word far too much emphasis but after what had just happened I was still a bit shaky and desperate for any positives to present themselves. He took me to the work’s canteen for a drink to ‘settle my nerves’ and we sat down. Once I’d sipped on my cappuccino he insisted I tell him everything that led up to our supervisor grabbing my lapels. To be honest, it was a relief to be able to talk to someone because, although I thought I could handle it, the actual dynamics of it all left me worried. So I told him everything. # Tom was very unhappy that I was being goaded into spying. However, as he’d seen my messy nappy I also decided to tell him that I had to wear a nappy (I didn’t tell him it was through preference though perhaps, because of the design, he might have guessed). I told him about Tridwell’s threat to expose my ‘childish’ need and oddly Tom reached out and touched my hand. “Well Jace, you’ve certainly had a lot to cope with in your first few weeks. However, and it’s up to you of course, but I’d make a formal complaint to HR and you can cite me as a witness.” “I don’t know Tom, he’s a nasty piece of work and I don’t want to get on the wrong side of him.” “Well, it appears you already are,” he smiled and patted my hand. “You stood up to him and refused his demands... that’s pretty good... and pretty impressive... for a new boy.” He said ‘boy’ with a bit of a tease so I didn’t regarded the word as a put down. He was being open, honest and above all a friend when I needed one. So, I thanked him but said I’d think about it over the weekend and let him know. He watched me waddle away and smiled in reassurance a final time as the automatic door closed behind me. He was of course correct, I should complain to HR but I didn’t want to get either him or me in trouble as I didn’t know what influence our Tech Supervisor carried. However, on the bus home I suddenly realised that another person now knew about my wearing of nappies and it hadn’t freaked him out. Perhaps if others were to find out, it wouldn’t be so bad? There was another thing about the ride home I couldn’t get Tom Tynan off my mind. I know he said he’d had a girlfriend at Uni but that finished when he returned home and took this job. There was something about him that I found absolutely lovely. Yes, I know, ‘lovely’ shouldn’t be a word to describe another guy but he’d been (how can I put it without sounding like a dork?), so gentle and yet angrily supportive when he needed to be. The way he threatened Tridwell wasn’t something I asked for but obviously, he wasn’t one to shy away from confrontation, or even a bit of aggression, if he thought something was wrong. He’d been like a knight in shining armour. # I have to admit that the bus ride home was quite confusing. My head was filled with the Supervisor’s threat, Tom’s intervention and of course filling my disposable. There was a sort of montage of mini-memory clips running through my brain as I focused on one or other aspect of what had happened, not just today but since I’d joined the company. At break times or lunch I usually (if I didn’t need a change) ate with the other newbies. They in turn joined others they knew and before long it seemed everyone knew everyone else. Of course, we weren’t all working on the same project and meal breaks were not regimented to any particular time. It hadn’t occurred to me until then that often it was Tom and me, or Tom and a couple of his mates sat around drinking coffee and having a sandwich on these occasions. His group of friends were very welcoming and loved to chat about stuff other than work, although in truth, it was nearly always about their latest project. I hadn’t realised until he sat me down after Tridwell’s attack that he often made it so I was in his company - stupid how I missed that fact. I’d been so caught up in hoping no one would notice my bulky underwear I’d missed what was going on under my nose. Tom had constantly been the friendliest of the group and I hadn’t realised he tried to get me involved rather than just being the general dogsbody. I mean, of course I noticed him because we’d had long... mmmm... no, erm, now I actually thought about it, we hadn’t had long chats I’d mostly just listen in. All I knew about him was from hearing his discussions with others. I was just sort of on the outskirts of the group. That was because of my own paranoia regarding you know what. I nearly missed my stop I was in such a daze but thankfully realised just in time and jumped up, crinkling like mad to rush for the exit. I don’t know why but my waddle seemed to have more emphasis and the short walk from getting off the bus to my door felt like the disposable had come loose and was swinging around with each step... it also felt a bit clammy. Not that it was unpleasant, quite the contrary, every movement meant it rubbed against all those greasy dangly bits down there... so it was really quite nice. # tbc #

I could never forget you eagle0769... glad you're enjoying it.? ...and thank you for your nice reply. That's the problem I have, I can't keep it to myself I've got to share but often think I'm sharing too much and folk might just be getting a bit bored by stuff from me. However, the next chapter is almost ready so...?

My pleasure Maly... I hope it's not just us two who are enjoying it but the next chapter should be with you shortly. Thanks for the comment and all the best? Les

Part 6 Before I dropped off I had the most imaginative and stimulating exploration I’ve ever experienced. This new sexuality, where nappies were the main cause of my sensual and mental awareness was, despite being eighteen, something new and exciting. Thoughts, dreams, images flashed through my mind and produced something I’d not come across before; well-used and abused sticky night-time padding. I woke up to both guilt and euphoria, but mainly guilt, as I tried to process these new impulses that were running through my body. Sleep had not dampened my need to find out if any part of this reverie would lead to possibilities. I’m a teenager with a job so has that alone released certain aspects of my personality that I’d either kept secret or more probably, just didn’t know about. The problem was - how would/could/should I manage this leap of self-discovery? There was something else I had to process; my fellow lads in nappies were still at school whereas I was a working man. So they were in an environment where secrets are hard to keep, whilst opportunities for exposure are in every classroom or cocky kid with attitude. Nevertheless, they knew my secret and I knew theirs so we had that in common. As far as I knew, none of our other mates wore padding and when I thought about it, I’d never been one to parade around in public in mine, so I could understand Mark’s reluctance to share such an experience. However, I wondered if I could convince Mark to adopt his brother’s attitude and maybe at the same time surreptitiously get a look at both their padding. You know, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours (God I was sounding more and more childish). Of course, knowing about it wasn’t the same as viewing it, which would be a bonus because I’d not actually seen anyone my age wearing protection so that particular observation would actually give me a bit of a boost. This ‘not being the only one’ went both ways, which I was now beginning to appreciate. Knowing someone else was in padding was enhancing my own acceptance, even if I thought I was already totally happy with my situation. Maybe Mr and Mrs Edwards liked the fact that Mark was so upset with the punishment he was willing to keep himself to himself, thus out of harm’s way, but also out of any opportunity to act up. From what Billy said he kept a very low profile at school and hardly mixes with any of his mates because he’s constantly worried what they might call him. So, on that level their parent’s punishment had hit ‘bullseye’ and Mark had to understand how they’d done that and how to cope with it. He needed not to let his nappy define him and carry on as if it wasn’t a problem. I’d already suggested he try and laugh it off but could see he wasn’t impressed by that notion. Although we had different reasons to be wearing protection I’d hoped it would help if he knew there were ‘others’ but that also didn’t appear to have any effect on his opinion. It wasn’t a matter of telling everyone, because I’d not done that either, it was just owning it should anyone find out. Be dismissive and hopefully they would be as well. That was the theory though I had no proof such action would work. Of course, this sort of stuff made me think about my own situation and wondered if I was so sure it would work, why had I been so reluctant to ‘own it’? I was expecting Mark to adopt something that I’d blithely told him would be the answer to any comments and yet had not done so myself. In fact, apart from mum and now the boys, as far as I knew no one else had the faintest idea about my nappy situation. Well maybe granny as I’m sure mum would have kept her in the loop. I was becoming a bit of a Wizard of Oz, all front and no substance. Still, I just had to hope that if Billy kept up being positive, it might rub off on his brother. All this ran through my head before I got up but as soon as I moved I could tell that the heaviness of my nappy meant I’d deposited a great deal of liquid in it during the night. I squelched my way to the bathroom and let the entire load drop to the floor, it was like releasing a sack of greasy potatoes. I showered and cleaned myself up before venturing back to my wardrobe to choose what I wanted to wear for the rest of the day. Sunday, and I had nothing planned and mum hadn’t indicated we were going anywhere so thought, as the weather was still quite pleasant, I’d meet up with anyone who was at the park and hopefully something would be happening I could get involved in. # Without a second thought I slipped into a nice thick disposable with those joyous characters smiling all over it. The thing is, despite my nights being wet my daytimes had been quite good. Recently, I’d been able to get where needed without any drips or dribbles. However, I still liked the security the padding offered so that’s my first port of call when making a decision on what to wear. Actually, last time I looked my bottom drawer contained underpants whilst the others had all my disposables and such. The thing is, I haven’t looked in that bottom drawer for so long mum may well have got rid of them all and just substituted more from that special delivery. As I thought I might end up having a kick around I wore a pair of very old and baggy grey shorts and an overly large black, white and grey striped jumper. All very ‘distressed casual’ but it also hid my padding quite well. I didn’t bother with any plastic pants on this occasion as I‘d been able to get to the toilet when needed during the day and I knew there was a public loo in the park. Mum was off seeing friends for the day so I wandered down to the park, past the Edwards house, which had no sign of life in it and the drive was empty. I was hoping that the boys would be in the park but, as it was Sunday, maybe their parents had whisked them off to church or some other family business. However, my padding felt nice and thick as it rubbed my naked pubic area and I got a nice little waddle going as I sauntered the mile or so towards my destination. Disappointingly, although there were a fair few people around I couldn’t see any of my mates so I sat on a bench and simply watched the world go by. There were several teams of lads and lasses playing footy, a couple of youngsters having a game of cricket and several families seemed to have set themselves up for picnics and a full day out. The temperature was in the low twenties so it was warm enough even if the sun wasn’t yet blazing down. In the middle of the park was a bandstand but I’d never once seen a band play there, just kids on skateboards or groups of teenagers occupying it as their own. Today however, there was a cluster of kids, around four or five years old, wearing their hi-vis vests, squealing with delight over whatever it was that their teachers (?) were doing with them. I wandered closer and saw they were on some kind of fun Scavenger Hunt, ticking off the pictures on their finder’s sheet and shrieking with excitement as they discovered what was next on the list. As a couple of them bent over to examine something or other I could tell they were like me, well-padded and this was another first for me... identifying other nappy wearers. Of course these kids probably had the excuse of still being potty trained but my mind wandered back to when I was that age and that carefree. Actually, when I thought about it, those times were always wonderful. After the first couple of days settling in at nursery I was happy to have so many new friends to play with. The excitement when it was home time and mummy was waiting at the gate. I’d eagerly dash to be hugged and I couldn’t wait to fill her in on all that I’d done. There was always so much to tell her and she’d be telling me what a big boy I was and how proud she was of me. Those were unbelievably happy times and mum’s love has never lessened, which I feel and experience every day. When daddy got home I’d repeat all the things I’d told mummy and he’d also tell me what a big boy I was. Sometimes, I suppose, with the new job, it’s like being back at nursery with the wonder of all that’s new and exhilarating... and I love it. There is something about little kids playing that’s quite wonderful. I don’t just mean the innocence, but of course that’s part of it, no, it’s the intensity of play. They can squeal and run around with complete abandon but, once they have a project, you can see how it envelops them completely. It may be only for a little while but in those moments, nothing else matters. # There was a lot going through my mind as I wandered around the park. Some of the things I’d not really thought about for ages, perhaps years, whilst other stuff had planted a seed in my head... God only knew what was fertilizing that. Tons and tons of that ‘stuff’ contained memories, mainly happy ones but a few little ‘knots’ that kept pushing into my deliberations saying ‘You’re eighteen and should be past all this by now.’ I mean, identifying with toddlers and wishing you were back to those times can’t be the way everyone thinks, can it? I knew that but there was no getting away from the fact that under my shorts I was wearing a colourful and some would say (including me) quite a juvenile disposable. And as I walked slowly down towards the small lake could feel its impressive soft padded qualities hugging my privates and loving such a sensation. Down at the water’s edge the young kids, still screeching in delight, were feeding the ducks and geese. Here there were a lot more people wandering along the pathway that circumnavigated the lake. It was like a busy thoroughfare as joggers overtook those gently ambling along, at the same time couples and families wandered arm-in-arm or holding hands. Kids would zoom by on bikes or scooters, with parents shouting for them to “slow down” or to be careful. The place was alive to every type of person and oddly a thought struck me, I was a ‘type of person’. I represented that small band of people who wanted to wear nappies when they were actually old enough to do without. Bloody hell... is that what I thought? # I found an empty bench and sat down, completely at peace with all around and automatically smoothed the large padded bulge my sitting had produced in the front of my shorts. A few quick strokes sent happy neurons up into my brain but this was no place to take that feeling any further. It didn’t matter because I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander like the people around me. Physically and mentally I was in such a pleasant place thinking about just how much I enjoyed being padded and how much I appreciated mum buying all the stuff I now had. As was typical of her, she knew what I wanted before I did and made sure that very thing was there when needed. I marvelled at how well she knew me and knew how things would progress as I got older. I know I must have been giving out subliminal messages (well to myself at least) but she’d picked up on them and made them fact. Then another thought struck me... over all my eighteen years perhaps it was mum that was giving out messages and I was the one to react to them? If that was the case... why had it taken me so long to work it out and, not only that, DID IT MATTER? I know I said that mum never baby’s me but I suppose, now that my mind is doing such a huge ‘stock-take’, I can see that in some ways she has. I’ve never been denied anything, the nappies, the dummy, her love... all these things have always been there. Maybe it was part of my father’s legacy that we bonded so closely after his death? Maybe mum didn’t want me to stray too far and was complicit in keeping those apron strings well attached. Of course there’s always a chance it’s just that I’m such a ‘mummy’s boy’ I let those things become my things because they made me feel safe and as I say, loved. But, if mum was being duplicitous I never felt it. I can’t remember growing up and thinking I should be doing that instead of this. Only in recent weeks had I thought about losing my dummy because I was starting work and wondered if I should be past such reliance. However, if anything, I’ve needed more and more of the things that made me feel safe... to make me feel complete and happy. The high cloud had cleared so the sun was now shining quite brightly on my face and I felt incredibly at ease despite the many thoughts buzzing around in my head. Even the noisy hubbub surrounding me made no difference I was in a very nice, mental space. Snippets of other people’s conversation; arguments, whispered words of love or just about the disastrous local bus times, slipped in and out of my head as they wandered past where I sat. # “Jason, Jason, JASON.” I was brought from my pleasant reverie by Billy and Mark who were standing before me. “Oh, hi guys, sorry, was almost nodding off there.” I smiled my embarrassment but quickly took in what the boys were wearing. Slightly different checked shirts but both had khaki shorts. However, I was initially shocked by their appearance, mainly because since the day before they’d both had quite severe haircuts and looked a good three years younger. To me there was no doubt they were brothers and wondered if that was their parent’s idea – by making them responsible for each other and keeping them looking the same? “Almost didn’t recognise you,” I smiled, “such a change since the last I saws you.” “Ah this,” Billy grimaced as he ran his hand across what little hair he had compared to the thick bush he used to have, well both of them had, on their head yesterday. “Dad took us to the barbers after you left us and Mark saw this lad in the chair before us having his hair styled like this.” He looked across at his brother and sighed a little. “He asked dad if we could have a similar style, knowing he would never let us decide, but he did and so...” The rest of the reasoning was left unsaid but, as I say, it gave both boys a rather different and younger look. Actually, when I looked at some of the other teenagers in the park I noticed quite a few had this sort of ‘short back and sides’ look. Perhaps it was the latest trend and like a lot of current culture, it had simply past me by. Anyway, distracted as I was by their hairstyle I also noticed they were a little filled out in the seating area. Although not too obtrusive, I suppose, because I knew, I could tell. “You guys looking for me or what?” “No, we’ve been to see mum’s sister and her lot...” Billy broke off and pointed to a bench about fifty yards away. “Mum and dad are over there talking to a Mrs Gower... we saw you so came over.” I noticed that Mark still wasn’t saying anything but at least he was out and about, and looking like a pre-teen, so wondered if anything else had changed for them. “Well it is a nice day, so, how are things in general?” I was trying to be vague but also wanted them to chat if they felt like it. Billy patted his hip. “Still wearing but,” and he turned to Mark, “you coming round has gotten my brother thinking,” and smiled at Mark. “Tell him bro.” There was a huge sigh from him before he looked at me and said “Thanks.” I was a bit perplexed. “For anything in particular?” The dramatic haircut had made him look even more like a shy little kid (but so damn cute with it). “Just being honest and upfront... and taking time out to come round to see us.” Mark had a sort of bullish innocence. He was absolutely all boy (if that’s not sounding weird) but his upbringing had made him ‘check’ on everything he did or reacted to. Billy was slightly more assured but even he never pushed himself, their parents influence was overpowering all the time. “No problem mate, I’m glad to see you out and about.” I smiled encouragingly. “I hate this nappy business,” he whispered confidentially, whilst inadvertently rubbing his padding, and came and sat beside me. Billy was still standing. “And you being, well, not bothered who knew about yours... got me thinking...” He shrugged as if he had no more to say though if he did wasn’t sure how to go about it. “Well you two are my friends.” I was going to say more but knew it would sound like I was blowing my own trumpet and I didn’t think anyone deserved that. “I saw Tim and Mike earlier,” Billy was trying to get us motivated, “Fancy going over for a kick about.” We got up and Billy rushed over to his parents and told them we were off for a game of footy and they’d be back for lunch later. I saw their mother check out who they were with and saw her nod. Even though I waved she didn’t acknowledge me at all. Billy re-joined us and I could hear the soft rustle of his plastic pants. Suddenly I got a mental image of us walking towards our friends but only wearing nappies. This put me in good humour and added another sensation to my bulging nappy so I was smiling and giggling to myself as we walked. I wasn’t sure if anyone else detected our slight gait but there was definitely a little waddle going on between all three of us. Mark had changed, gone was the shy, inhibited lad of earlier, he seemed much more confident and, had I not been in the know, wouldn’t have suspected a thing. When we found our other friends there was quite a few who’d joined in and a great hectic footy match was soon underway. # A couple of times when the lads were tackled and fell to the grass I noticed up their shorts leg the tell-tale sign of plastic pants holding a fabric nappy in place. However, these moments were few and quickly sorted as Billy and Mark were up and back in the game within seconds. I suppose it was the same for me when I ended up rolling around on the ground having run into Deeno, all six foot two and 200 pounds of our biggest friend. He never went down after a tackle because everyone just normally bounced off of him or like me, ended up being floored. Just after noon Billy abandoned the game and said he and Mark had to go back for lunch. No one suspected a thing but I wondered if both their padding had got a little bit firmer. I walked back with them and their waddle was definitely more pronounced and I started to smile to myself. Yes I know not very grown up but I was enjoying what I knew because in all the fun of playing the game, I had also filled my cheerful thick disposable. Then I remembered that according to their line of washing, their parents kept them in fabric nappies so they wouldn’t have firmed up as much as mine. However, if they were soaked it would be much nicer to get out of them as soon as possible. We walked a little faster. “Sorry guys,” I said as I joined them, “I think I’ve just had a bit of an accident and need to get home to change.” I was at it again, trying to make a guy in a wet nappy common place and nothing to be uptight about. Billy grinned and Mark shrugged so I guess they weren’t quite ready to be as open as me but perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing. Eventually, their punishment would be over and nappies would no longer be a part of their lifestyle... so best not make too much about it. I could see their unspoken point. # Back in the house and mum wasn’t home so shoved a ready-made-meal in the microwave, set the timer and went up to my bedroom to change. As usual the disposable had soaked up all the liquid quite efficiently and the thing was heavy and solid where the gel had done its business. I stripped, cleaned myself up and aimed for my briefs drawer. I wasn’t making a point; I just thought it might be nice to get back into more age appropriate undies. After all mum hadn’t cleared it out and replaced all my undies with disposables and thought I might as well try a pair. When I stepped into them it just didn’t feel right. Of course briefs were nothing new but the fact I’d been wearing a nappy now almost non-stop for a number of weeks made the sensation of briefs... well... lacking. I quickly changed my mind and found the pull-ups I’d abandoned a little while back and decided on them. Now, with even just that little bit of padding, it felt a lot better. I heard the ‘ping’ and wandered down to the kitchen wearing only a t-shirt and pull-up with a skateboarding boy on the front. It felt incredibly comfy as I picked up my steaming Cottage Pie and sat at the table with a glass of milk. Perhaps the most convenient Sunday lunch I’d had in quite some time. As I gave it a few minutes ‘standing time’ I thought again about Billy and Mark and was strangely glad they were being made to wear nappies... and I did like their haircuts and wondered if such a style would suit me? # tbc #