nurse_lover

I unfortunately have severe avoidant paruresis. It is especially bad in public restrooms, so much so I can not go in them at all. This makes road travel difficult, though I have learned to look for smaller "mom and pop" type gas stations, which usually have a private bathroom. This is also useful for diaper changes on the road, but thats a bit off topic here. I am not sure how much has been considered on the psychological aspects of paruresis, but I can actually remeber where mine started, which was in fifth grade. I was always modest, but with puberty hitting classmates, there was a lot of pressure to measure penis size for bragging rights, and I did not want to participate. On several occasions, classmates tried to look when I was peeing to see how "developed" I was. I must emphasize that there was never any touching involved. I also got bullied a lot, and the bathrooms never had teacher supervision, so it was a prime spot to be bullied. Over time, I started not being able to go around other people, at times having my kidneys in searing pain, but still not being able to urinate. To this day, that holds true, though working in a small office makes it easier to know that none of my co-workers are in the bathroom when I go in. Even the medicines my psychiatrist prescribed for social anxiety and depression do not help with this issue. Is it really possible that this could cause long term damage to my urinary tract? Sometimes, after I finally manage to go, I get a small dribble into my underpants afterwards, and worse off are the times when I have pains in my kidneys lasting well after I urinate. Changed "psins" to "pains"

I have wet the bed on and off for most of my life, and it recently started again after a few dry years. The last few months have been rough, wetting about once a week. This morning I woke up with my bed soaked, even though I was wearing a diaper (I am a diaper lover too, which I attribute to being a bedwetter for so long) I love wearing diapers, but I wish I had more control over my bladder. I was on DDAVP from like 16 until I was like 21 and Toffranil for many years in my childhood to treat my bedwetting. I had to be taken off the Toffranil, as it started causing extreme urine retention, and two suicide attempts (it is true that anti-depressants cause suicidal thoughts in adolescents...) when I was 16. Over time, the DDAVP started causing excessive urine retention too, so I stopped taking it. I had not wet much while on the DDAVP, and did not restart afterwards until the stress of my senior year of college. Given I am really not under any stress now, I am not sure why it is restarting, as recent medical tests were all normal.

I do not use any bedding protection, but learned quick not to trust the cheap diapers. I leaked this week, and it was a pain to clean up. I usually will only wear attends, Tranquility ATN's or my new favorite, Prevail overnights.

I would pick huggies cause I love the name, but the point is moot since none of them fit me.

I find this pretty disturbing. The main reason I am afraid to come out about being a diaper lover is that people might think it means I am a into kids, which I am not. People looking for underage diaper pictures give a bad name to all of us who have "weird" fantasys and kinks which actually are legal and victimless. I like my real and modelled pics of women in their 20's and 30's.

I like to wear diapers at home alone when possible, but I also like to wear in public as long as I won't run into anyone I know. I wear pullups sometimes when I go out for walks, and love to diaper myself in hotels. I never wore them to school, but that is because I did not really get into this until after graduating. I wore one for a long hike a few weeks ago, and it felt great. I wear them when I am in the car, though have a hard time using them while sitting. I even wore them in a crowded store a few weeks ago but not so that they would be obvious. Work is the one place I would not wear.

Since I do not let on to my interest to family, I stick to peeing in them, since I can hide that easily. Now that they are away on vacation, I have taken the oppurtunity to mess as well as wet, and it feels great, sitting in one right now. I am not looking forward to the cleanup though. Does anyone else find that for some reason it is easier to release the muscles to poop in a diaper than it is to pee in one?