Your not the only one whos shared those feelings, id say try to think of it as a positive thing, having another thing in life you enjoy is neat... sorta like finding out you love to ice skate... or hunt wild hippos. Ive had the same feelings, but i keep it all hidden very secretly ... sometimes im worried if i drink too much i might start blabbering about it, since ive done some very very foolish things in the past while intoxicated... lets just say no one is curious about what i look like naked...