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maximusdignitas
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Everything posted by maximusdignitas
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Although I'd rather have a big mac with fries and a coke, I eat the chewy chicken nuggets and wonder how kids can eat these and eat the apple cuts and drink the cup of juice and I'm embarrassed and wondering how many people are questioning us besides the ones that you tell and I look away embarrassed with each person.
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Again I hesitate in behavior that is reminiscent to a little boy who is preoccupied with his games and doesn't want to interrupt to talk to an adult, but instead, I'm 16.
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I hear you guys finish after what seems like forever and I've never gone that long with a girl and it's embarrassing to think how much more of an adult my little cousin is as I watch him walk by me and smile with a huge shit-eating grin.
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I continue watching through my squinted eyes while you both continue on Kyle's bed while I sit in my dirty diaper waiting for you to finish and totally embarrassed and feeling like a third wheel.
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So much for trying to keep a little dignity I think to myself and I never in my life would have thought this day would come when I'd be telling another teen that I'm diapered and it's hard to come up with the words.
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As you give me the look like your tired of me trying to delay things, I have a look not wanting to spill the beans and right now I am hating that I had to give in to keep my parents from finding out, but this isn't better.
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I am glad when you say goodbye to your boyfriend because I realize we are done and ready to go back home, so I eagerly follow you outside and I thought we were headed for my car, but instead you lead me down the sidewalk.
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I sit in front of the mirror after you finish diapering me and dressing me in a pair of Osh-Kosh and I definitely look like a toddler boy complete with my babyish diaper design and a bulge that tells everyone I've been a bad boy.
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I lay there listening to you guys carry on like I'm not even around and going at it like ravaged teens who haven't had sex in a long time and she is making sounds as they enjoy themselves while I curse my luck again while still watching.
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You see a look of
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I hear Kyle home and I sit there and hear two voices and know you guys must be talking, but can't hear a thing even though I'm trying really hard to focus on what's going on as I lay there staring at the ceiling wishing my nap was over.
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I am not super tired at first, but sit there with the paci in my mouth and after you close the door I slide it out and lay it on the floor of the play pen I spent a decent amount of time in yesterday and I think about how I pooped myself twice lately which is really lame for a senior in high school.
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I continue eating and glad when Vanessa empties the jar of baby food into my mouth and i swallow the watery-gritty muck and wishing I could be eating a Quesedilla instead.
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I watch as Vanessa puts the drawing on the fridge and I know it might be better than any other toddler's drawing, it still is no consolation.
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As I sit there for a while hoping none of the neighbors are watching as I sit in the playpen out back like a naughty boy with thick underpants and a cute little bulge.
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I've got tears in my eyes at the pain and embarrassment as he marches me out to you and I watch as you smile a knowing smile and the fact you heard a lot of it. I'm sort of glad when you march me back into the bathroom so no one will see me like this, but I don't want to wear another diaper.
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I know if I could explain what happened and he wasn't so mad that I could explain what happened.
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I get a look of fear as you start telling the story and I watch as you play it up with him and I know this won't be good as I watch his face go into a determined look and I can tell he isn't happy.
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I watch in amazement as you fill the cart with a bunch of baby supplies including diapers which look very thick and babyish and have a smiling teen boy on the outside.
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When we get to the store, I sit there with knots in my stomach hoping this goes relatively quickly and I hope I don't see anyone from school.
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I watch as you grin while I walk towards you while staring at my diaper bulge after pulling my jeans up and every step produces a little boy crinkle and then mention needing some supplies.
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I didn't have any wipes or powder because I was afraid that someone might smell either one and might cause someone to ask questions.
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I watch as you start searching for my baby stuff and you find it after a couple drawers and I cringe as you pull the stuff out and I feel stupid and then you add to the feeling by telling my that babies don't mess around and that you have a boyfriend and smirks like it was the stupidest idea ever.
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(My name is Nate)
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I'm not sure how to answer your probing questions about my bathroom habits and I don't say anything out of embarrassment and also not wanting to make it any worse.