0p3r4t0r

I finally decided that it was time to communicate with you all. I've been lurking these forums for a long time. I generally just used this site for verification that I wasn't the only weirdo out there. My story is as follows: I don't know what age I was but when I was visiting my cousins someplace, one of them near my age had a bedwetting problem. My uncle put him into diapers for the night. I was FASCINATED. When I was probably in my early teens I read an RL Stine Goosebumps novel in which a child is regressed (physically) into a baby, due to a cursed cuckoo clock. The part where he wakes up as a baby is stuck in my mind as there is a focus on diapers. Diapers nagged me for a long time because of this. Shortly after I found out the only way I was able to get diapers was to steal them for the grocery store. My diaper of choice was the Luvs from the early 90s that were plastic backed with Barney designs. I tried and tried and tried to deny this side of my life for a long time as I felt isolated and strange. When I was finally free to explore the internet on my own I discovered sites like this and others. I found out I wasn't the only one. It was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt as though the world made a little more sense. As an adult, I have no problem with this side of my life. My father died 2 years ago and it was horribly traumatic. I have been with my future wife for over 3 years now. Shortly after my father passed I really needed this to cope. I introduced my fiance to this side of my life and did it such that it wasn't something that she would ever have to compete with or even be a part of if she didn't want to be. She knows about my needs and wants me to indulge whenever I want. She doesn't want to participate or even see me dressed as I do, but she accepts at least as much as letting me do it. If I dress little when she is home, I just have to stay covered up. I don't know what I would do without her. If she had told me her or the diapers, I would have chosen her for the rest of my life. Anyway, I think this is a decent look at my life. Thanks for reading. Thank you for having a community that we can be a part of. Nice to know we're not alone. -0p