perpetual4yearold

Hey there I am not really an adult baby, I don't wear diapers, but I do have a lot of things from childhood that I like (eg. pacifiers, baby bottles, Teletubbies, Barney, Care Bears, children's clothes and vintage Mary Janes, T-strap shoes and English sandals). Though obviously I can't fit into any children's shoes or clothes (I have 60 longalls and jon jons for toddlers and preschoolers that I can't fit in....I have more clothes that CAN'T fit me than clothes that can!!! I have only about 12 pairs of shirts and pants versus 60 preschooler sized longalls and shortalls. If I was only a proportionate dwarf). I have Autism and I happen to be like a 4 1/2 - 5 year old many times without even noticing it, that is, I unconsciously act like a 4 year old. I can't even hold onto a job. I am on Social Security. That being said, I always wanted to have an outfit that would represent me, so to speak. Something that would represent my inner self. I went to EBay, where I do a lot of bidding for longalls and strap shoes. I found this lady in Michigan that makes children's clothes, and she made me a peter pan collar shirt and a blue longall last year in polyester/cotton for about $118 total. Not bad when you consider most longalls for toddlers average $70-80 especially with trunk shows like Beaux Et Belles, Kelly's Kids, and so fort, when you buy it new from them. Now, I also have another Ebay seller that is from South Carolina, not too far from Charlotte, NC, and she is going to make me a yellow gingham longall with a dinosaur on it. She has been willing to do it for me for $137, but I have been very busy recently, and am in the final steps of confirming my measurements. It should be okay - - the last time I gave my measurements to the lady in Michigan the longall turned out very well. I mean, it fit me. So anyway, these things are expensive, but I would say I could probably afford one longall a year maybe, and maybe more if I could cut down on my toddler longall collection. I also love English sandals and T-strap shoes and Mary Janes, and probably have one of the biggest collection of T-strap shoes and English sandals from the 1970s to the last 1990s (mostly vintage toddler ones) in the state I live in, for all I know. I sure wish that some companies like Stride Rite, Fleet Air, Walk-In, Foot Traits, Foot Mates, and some other shoe companies that made T-strap shoes/English sandal double buckle T-straps back in the 1980s made shoes on my size. The problem is, I wear a size 9 1/2 E men's, and I doubt they ever went that high. I have a ladies size 6 1/2 C T-strap from Stride Rite back from the 1980s, but that won't fit me, of course. I know there's Muffy's shoes, but I don't like their shoe very much; it doesn't look "childish" enough, or a traditional T-strap shoes, so to speak. I'm very big on details, with my Autism (closer to Asperger's ; I'm high functioning Autism, although unlike a lot of people with Asperger's, I am certainly nowhere near being a 15 year old emotionally or socially, and nearly all my friends (including old college instructors) think I'm emotionally and socially between 4 1/2 to 5 years old). Now if I was only that size...then my developmental age would match my body and I wouldn't have people looking at me like I'm strange if I suddenly act like a 4 year old. But as for the longall, oh yeah, I'll have it made.. These things are big down in the South, Deep South, like Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, etc. Lots of little boys down there wear longalls or jon jons or rompers and T-strap buckle shoes/or English sandals to church, sometimes beyond age 4 or 5 years old even. Most of the companies that make longalls stop after size 5T or 6. I've seen hardly any longalls or jon jons past a size 5, and almost none in a size 6 or 7 (I may have one or two in my collection). I could probably have a very good Halloween costume by next year (2011) Halloween, if I get this longall this year. Except now I have to find a pair of T-straps, and then I can be a baby for Halloween. Codi P. from California (moving to western North Carolina in 2011!!!)

Hello again. Here is what I want to say next. If I don't find a playmate, then I need to do something else. I want to move to Western North Carolina, but my parents are totally against my plans and refuse to let me go to North Carolina and help me financially. I was thinking 'bout living in Cullowhee or Sylva, North Carolina and going to Western Carolina University just for social group type situations. I don't feel like I belong in Northern California anymore, I've been judged by too many young people here, I just do NOT want to stay in California. If I have to end up staying in California (and maybe even if I move to North Carolina) if I can't find a girlfriend, what I want to do is this: I want to turn into a 4 year old. Since it is impossible for me to be shrunken down into a 4 year old size, we have to do it some other way. Life would be much better for me if I was the size of a 4 year old (my parents would respect me much more, people wouldn't judge me because I acted like a 4 year old because I'm 5 feet 11 inches tall, I could ride on more children's rides in amusement parks, I could go and wear adorable little kid clothes like longalls/jon jons and T-strap buckle shoes, etc, I could do a lot of things that I can't do now). I would also have a good social group, because although I wouldn't be able to have a girlfriend, looking like a 4 year old would actually get me a playgroup. Preschools don't accept you even if you look like a 4 year old and are the height of a 4 year old if you are chronologically 33, because your parent would have to show your birth certificate, but playgroups don't care. Playgroups where parents bring their children to play. So I would have some sort of social group. Right now, I don't have anything going for me. I can't even go out and play. I only get to go out once a week (ridiculous, but it is true. I visit my local community college once a week for 3 hours. And that is only because my dad takes me there). Other than that, aside from dinner one time a week on Saturday or Sunday, I never get to go out. I'm always inside the house. It really makes me very depressed. If I can't find a playmate, this is what I propose: 1) get a child's haircut (mushroom like hair, like a bowl haircut) 2) wear longalls and jon jons (I have a longall already I had made by an Ebay seller who makes children's clothes from Michigan that I paid $117 for, including a peter pan collar shirt)- see attached photos. She did a pretty good job on it!! However, I also have another lady that makes children's clothes that is going to make a yellow gingham longall for me and it will say my name in front in "Child's play" letters (as in a monogramming type thing) monogramming is very popular in the South, as well as smocking.. there are lots of smocked longalls. I have attached a few photos of longalls below. So anyway, this lady from South Carolina is going to make me a yellow gingham longall with an applique with my name monogrammed. Will cost about $127. But most children's longalls even from catalogs like Kelly's Kids or Mulberry St. cost about $55-60 when you get it from them directly, which a lot of southern moms do. 3) Get a pair of children's looking English sandal / T-strap shoes to wear with the longalls. Stride Rite may have made some back in the 1980s, but I doubt in my size (I wear a men's size 9 D). I have tried other shoe companies that existed back then. It's not that hard to get old shoe stock from some stores, but it's not that easy either. And the biggest I've seen a real childlike looking English sandal is in a size 3 C growing girls (which would fit maybe a 9 year old). 4) Is there any way to get rid of my mustache/beard hair? I shave myself once every 2-3 days. It really is a big headache. I read on here somewhere that you can actually have your pubic hair taken out via lamp ray or something?? I want some way to get rid of my facial hair too. I don't want to ever have facial hair again, to be honest. I don't even know why adult males have hair. What's the purpose of hair if you are going to shave it off anyway?? Why couldn't my hair just stayed like when I was 10 years old - with nothing growing on my face?? It's just a real inconvenience, similar to a mentally handicapped girl who is maybe intellectually disabled who menstruates. What for?? I have Autism, I'm like a 4-5 year old in many ways. Or maybe I need to find some sort of anti androgen hormone, or some way to shed all my hair from my face and pubic area. I realize that all my life I have been giving love to other people, caring deeply about other people, and being kind to others, being there for others. And all this time I never really loved myself. How can you love someone else if you don't even love yourself?? I went to a psychiatrist 7 years ago and one of the books he wrote said "You have to love yourself". He suggested actually taking a photo of yourself as a toddler, and saying to yourself "I love you very much, (whatever your name happens to be)". And I think it's time for me love my little boy. Or that is, ME. I'm the little boy, I'm the 4 year old, and I need to love myself. I know it sounds a little narcissistic, but I can't go on loving other people and respecting others and not even caring about myself. I think this is the best way to do it. If I can be a 4 year old then at least I can love myself for what I am. I have been judged and called names by too many people in their 20s and 30s, yet I never held it against them, I just forgave them and moved on. I'm everything a 4 year old should be - kind, loving, nonjudgemental, nonracist, forgiving, sharing, and all of that. I even admire toddlers and preschoolers because they are so much better than adults are. I know lots of toddlers that actually accept me for who I am. If the world was just filled with 2-5 year olds, maybe we wouldn't have all this hatred, war, anger, racism that you see all over the world. Look on the evening news and you find out really fast. Isn't there any way to go about doing this?? Thank you Codi P. from California

Hi I am very frustrated with my life. VERY frustrated. Let me explain. I am 33 years old and still living with my parents (it really does suck). I have high functioning Autism and well, somedays, it feels more like moderate functioning autism. I have a BA degree in Geography, but have been unable to hold any kind of job at all (unlike a lot you people that are ABs). Even if I can find a job, which is once in a couple of thousand jobs, they don't last long. I also have ADHD in addition to my autism, so I cannot even sit still for 20 minutes without being disruptive. I am like a 4 1/2 to 5 year old emotionally and socially, and perhaps even mentally, in many many ways. Although I am not an adult baby and do not wear diapers, I just thought maybe some of you might be able to help me. I love children's TV shows like Teletubbies, Barney, and Care Bears. As well as Arthur and Wimzie's House. I still have a pacifier. The difference between most, if not all, of you is that you can choose to be a toddler or baby when you WANT to, and you can act like an adult if you want to. I don't have that option. I will suddenly behave like a 4 year old without even knowing it. I'm very serious about this. I have had real difficulty finding a girlfriend or anything because of my being like a 4 year old and being unable to help myself from acting like one. Little kids love me a lot. I get along very well with toddlers/preschoolers and with people older than age 50, mostly old instructors from community college and elderly people in their 70s and 80s. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome originally, but I realize now I'm much more severe than Asperger's. Most of the people that I have met with Aspergers (including the people at WrongPlanet) are emotionally and socially like 15-16 year olds. It's still hard to find a girlfriend even in that emotional or social age, but there are WAY MORE girls that are emotionally/socially 14-18 years old with Aspergers than there are girls that are like a 4 or 5 year old. And I really do behave like a 4 year old. I think like a 4 year old. Everyone, except my parents (who deny I even have autism sometimes even though I've been diagnosed 3 times and get SSI) think I behave like a 4 year old. I have a friend who is a child development professor at my local state university who has a PhD in child development and has taught 37 years in 3 different universities, and even he says I'm like a 4 year old in many many many ways. I have a friend named Daniel who is 35 years old who has Asperger's Syndrome, but acts like a 15 year old. It's been hard for him too finding a girlfriend, but he finally found someone. But, as I said, there are way more Asperger's people that are like 15-16 year olds. I don't drive (though I have a driver's license), I don't work, and I can't even cook. I'm basically a larger species of toddler, if you will. What is so frustrating is that the chances of even anyone with Asperger Syndrome finding a girlfriend are much much higher than me. I don't think I even have a chance, ever. The funny part and the irony in this is that I am really not looking for a girlfriend, just a PLAYMATE. My friend Daniel said that he found a dating website where 55+ year olds are looking for playmates. I said to him "Yeah, they are looking for playmates, sexual playmates". My parents think I'm strange because of what I want. By the meaning of "playmate": I will list to you what I really want. 1) Could really be a female or a male. Age anywhere from 18-40 or 45. 2) Someone that will watch Teletubbies, Barney, Care Bears, Arthur, Wimzie's House, Sesame Street, and so forth, with me. And not just because they are shows that someone might want to watch. Or not like some mother that's joining her 2 year old or 4 year old son while watching Barney or Arthur. (Mothers just watch those shows with their children, not because they really like it, but because they are trying to watch over the kids, or looking after them). What I mean by watching Teletubbies and Arthur and Barney etc is that I want to find someone who not only watches those shows, but also sees the humor in it. I want to find someone who will laugh at the same stuff I laugh at when I watch those shows and find the humor in it that I see. 3) Someone I can play child games with all day, aside from watching children's TV shows. For example, hide and seek, and other games such as that. Or maybe children's games (eg. board games, or children's toys). I love children's toys, I have stuffed Care Bears, I have other stuffed animals, etc. 4) I was thinking if I really got a playmate, I could take him/her to Disney World with me all the time. I currently live in California, and I'm actually thinking about relocating to Western North Carolina (eg. Asheville, Rutherfordton, Sylva, Cullowhee, or any of those towns). However, although I plan to make North Carolina more or less my permanent home, if I found a playmate, I would take her or him with me down to Florida, get a home down in Florida, live there for 3-5 years, and get an annual Walt Disney World pass. These passes are actually quite cheap ($359 a year for unlimited 365 day access). If you go even every other day (which I would probably do because I have other hobbies like collecting street maps and bidding on child items on EBay, and listening to oldies stations on the internet, looking at my hobbies (I collect toddler longalls and jon jons as a hobby and also vintage children's T strap Mary Jane shoes and English sandal double buckle T-straps). So I do many other things. But if I had a playmate, I would go to Disney World like every other day, something is only open to Florida in state residents. $359 a year for 180 days isn't bad, that's $2 a day, and you have to remember a 1 day passport is already $71, so if you live out of state, just coming to Disney World for 5 visits (at different times) will cost you as much as a annual passport. The thing for me though is: I HATE roller coasters, they scare the crap and living daylights out of me. I like slow going around rides, like Dumbo or the Mad Hatter's Tea Cups or Merry go rounds. That's all I really want in a playmate. It would be nice if my playmate had some sort of developmental disability like me, though. Like Autism or maybe even Down Syndrome. I had a Down Syndrome girlfriend in high school from 1992 to 1994. She was like a 5 year old mentally, however, she was very much aware of her surroundings and we loved each other very much, did a lot of forehead kissing. I have never kissed a girl on the mouth in my life. If you are a close friend of mine, I will kiss you on your cheek. If you are a familial relationship, I will kiss you on your forehead. Strange, isn't it? And by familial relationship, I mean like a girlfriend. I've had two girlfriends my entire life, and I never kissed them anywhere except their forehead. I know, it's like a brother and sister type of relationship, or how a father loves his son/little boy. And also, with developmentally disabled people, they also get SSI, like me. We need enough to get by. Right now I get enough from SSI (in one year, SSDI) to barely be able to make it outside living in an apartment or rented house, but with more money between 2 people, we (my playmate if I can find one, and myself) can maybe even do a mortgage on a home and have our own home actually. I don't care if that person is really short (eg. looks like a child) or what. It might actually be better if I could find a mentally challenged proportionate dwarf that actually looks like a 4 or 5 year old, because it then wouldn't be so awkward to be enjoying these little kids stuff like kiddie rides; people would just think he/she was my child or something. But honestly, I don't really care how tall one is, you can be 5 feet 5 inches, but it just would look better. I thought about adopting a child, but first I am on social security right now so I can't adopt, and number 2, having a child isn't going to solve my problem long term either. What I mean is that a child may be a preschooler for a time or a toddler, but they are going to grow older and I don't do well with teenagers at all. I hate being around teens. I was a substitute teacher in high school for a short time and it was a real disaster. They walked all over me. And having a child is a lifelong responsibility, you are responsible for that child until they die or you die, even when the child is an adult (just ask my parents!). Also, since I don't work, I have all the time in the world to go to the amusement park, say Disney World. BUT....most adults do not have the time in the world. What I mean is: HOW MANY ADULTS (even those with developmental disablities) have the free time to go to Disney World at 10 am in the morning on Wednesday, or Monday, or Friday?? Hardly anyone. I might have the time to have fun at 9 or 10 am in the morning on Tuesday and go to Disney World, but most people have to work or be in school or college during that time period. I have tried to get a job for many years. I have applied and looked for jobs for 10 years. I went to college for 13 years outside of that. Nothing really helped me. I volunteered at so many places, at libraries, at Triple A handing out maps (AAA), and on and on. So I've given up. I figure, why should I bother looking for a job for 30 years when no one is even going to give me a job??!! I'm basically umemployable. This is getting too long, so I will write more in a later post. Please, please, please, if you know anyone who is like that (even if they wear diapers for a medical reason), please let me know so that maybe I can get in contact with that person. Thank you Best regards, Codi P.