[can someone stop being an AB/DL?If yes, how?]

I think it is a matter of balance and emotional well being as to whether one continues to participate or tries to quit an ABDL lifestyle.  Quitting might be physically possible, but it does likely come with other emotional baggage or issues.  A foundational issue is whether ABDL is wrong in the first place, it isn’t wrong just because it is not widely understood or perceived as different.  Being an ABDL should be accepted, and if not understood nor embraced, at least tolerated.  I have tried to “quit” for many years, and it was only when I accepted this side of me that I found true peace.  The next step is trying to navigate my ABDL lifestyle around others in my life where privacy may or may not be an issue.  For me ABDL is a very private matter and not one I need to nor want to cast on others with the exception of my wife’s support.  

[Wearing Diapers As An Older Child]

2 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I wore diapers just to bed until almost 6 years old.  I'm not sure how people define "older child" because at 5 years old it was still common in the early 1960's for a kid to wear diapers to bed if they wet their bed, same as it is these days for kids that age and older to wear Goodnites if they have bed wetting problems.  It's when parents just keep their kids in day diapers after age 4 or 5 for reason's of their own laziness or whatever that it's wrong and abusive.  True, some kids may have day control issues but to just keep a kid in diapers because it may be easier or more convenient is not good.  I cringed when they showed the picture of the woman and her kids who were caught in the tear gas incident at the border a couple weeks ago.  The news was quick to state that people were gassed and even kids in diapers, but they never mentioned those 2 girls in the diapers were 6 years old!  Naturally, I don't know the circumstance of that woman and her kids trying to flee their country, but it still makes me cringe thinking of any child that age wearing diapers, especially openly wearing them without any other clothing covering them up.  Sad for the kids.

Rusty Pins, as one of those kids that was kept in day time and night time diapers as an older child, wearing them in the daytime was definitely more challenging and impactful on me because they were obvious and a source of attention directed at me. I was constantly reminded of my diapered status throughout the day from the moment I woke up until bedtime.  Waking up in my soaked night diapers and having them changed into a fresh diaper for the day was my first reminder.  I would go through the day as a diapered child with them always on the back of my mind, with diaper checks and changes bringing them to the forefront.  I was self conscious about wearing diapers around other people and situations where attention was drawn to me because of my diapers.  Overtime, I got used to it and actually grew to like being diapered because I didn’t have to worry about accidents or disappointing anyone by having them.  I am not sure if it was right or wrong of my mom to keep me in diapers as a 4 and 5 year old, heck she diapered me well beyond those ages too for having accidents and at night.  I know that she returned me to diapers because I had difficulty with control for multiple reasons and my accidents became too much of a burden on her at some point.  I was returned to daytime diapers as both a matter of convenience for her,  and also because she apparently didn’t know what else to do and was a young mom without a good support network of advice to look for alternatives like a more methodical or patient approach to potty training me.  This is only conjecture because I have never really asked in depth why I was kept in diapers so late into childhood other than the comments my mom made to me over the years about being impossible to potty train and her frustrations with me as child that acted like a baby.  I don know that I resented my mom in some ways for choosing this path for me, which most certainly contributed to my love of diapers and ABDL lifestyle as an adult.  It wasn’t until therapy where I gained an acceptance of my childhood in diapers and let me feelings go.  This helped me accept myself today as an ABDL and to no longer be ashamed about it.  My therapist helped me understand that my mom did what she thought was best at the time, although it was probably not the best path to keep me in diapers so late into childhood without reintroducing potty training along the way.  As parents, we all struggle with what is right for our children and make it up at times when situations become difficult or are new or exhausting.  I am sure my mom would have preferred not having to change my diapers as a 5 year old, but even more frustrating must have been cleaning up my accidents while not diapered.  I remember coming home from school or from playing in the neighborhood after soiling my pants when finally out of diapers and the mess I made which threw my mom into a tailspin.  Her reaction was an immediate return to diapers for me, which solved the problem in her mind.  I guess she didn’t know what else to do with me and my struggles with control.  Once back in diapers, I did feel more at ease and content, albeit self conscious about it.  I would spend the rest of the day inside or in the backyard embarrasssed about being in diapers again and hide from my friends.  I have lots of memories of those days that is an entirely new topic altogether.  I hope this helps at least explain why parents or caregivers decide to keeping kids in diapers at older ages, right or wrong, depending on the circumstances.

[My Diaper Is So Thick.........]

My diaper is so thick, they call me J-Lo when I walk 

[Possible Fetish Triggers]

I remember being in my diapers and waiting to be changed at my preschool around the age of 4 and feeling a rush of happiness come over me realizing my diapers were the source of extra nurturing attention from the staff.  This made me feel special and solidified to me that my diapers were a source of comfort and security I never wanted to give up.  I wanted to stay in my diapers from that point on and wanted to be treated as a baby forevermore.  

[can someone stop being an AB/DL?If yes, how?]

NewGuy, good of you to remember our conversations, and yes I am married, but my partner is more of a reluctant supporter of my abdl needs and diaper desires.  I say reluctant because after many years of keeping it to myself, I finally told her and it didn’t go well the first time.  I continued to wear diapers in private, yet felt I was being dishonest to our marriage.  My therapist encouraged me to reenage the subject with her and be open about my needs to wear diapers, which I did during one of our joint sessions.  My wife told me she loved me regardless of my diapers, but still would rather I don’t wear around her or pull her into my abdl lifestyle needs.  We have a don’t ask, don’t tell type of arrangement now, which I struggle with and at some point want to bring to a head for a more open compromise.  I am a realist and don’t expect nor want my wife to do things beyond her comfort zone, yet wearing diapers is a part of me that I need to foster and practice.  I worry that pushing too hard changes our positive relationship in a negative way, ie. she has told me that seeing me in diapers as a baby is a turn off and I don’t want it disrupting our healthy sex life or interfering with our intimacy together.  I have heard lots of examples of where an abdl in a partnership relies on diapers as a form of intimacy in the bedroom making the other partner feel like a third wheel or less desirable.  This is not what I ever want, and my wife has not taken the initiative herself, which tells me she likes where things are with us and my diapers for now.  I am hoping for resolution someday and for my wife to more fully embrace my ABDL needs and desires. I hope this clears up my ABDL lifestyle within our marriage - which I sum up as coexisting, but not great.  

[What started you on wearing diapers?]

As I recently mentioned in another post, my start to wearing diapers came from being kept in them late into childhood and developing an emotional, deep seeded attachment to diapers as a source of comfort and security.  As a child, it was likely my way of coping with the fact that I was wearing and using diapers while others my age (and even younger) were beyond them.  As an adult, the feelings of attachment to my diapers did not go away, but stayed with me and get stronger when I am stressed or in need of a way to relax.  I found wearing diapers and abdl a perfect fit for me to meet my emotional needs as an adult.  

[Strange days indeed - a 24 x 7 experiment]

I hope things work out for both of you.  Being open and honest is hard when you have something so profound complicating your marriage.  Marriage is about compromise and hopefully your terms are acceptable over time to your wife and she doesn’t resent your expansion of the swim lanes.  Keep us posted and best of luck.

[can someone stop being an AB/DL?If yes, how?]

Well said Newguy.  This is great advice and something I have experienced myself as a life long ABDL.  It took me many years to accept this part of me and I am now at peace with it and happy about the person I am as an ABDL.  It does not mean you can’t experience the other joys of life, but just something wired inside yourself that makes you whom you are inside.  Just don’t let it overwhelm nor occupy your life beyond the balance of what it deserves.  Have it enhance your finest attributes and not get in the way of relationships and intimacy with others.  

[A question for those with vanilla partners...]

I enjoyed reading everyone’s experiences and can to relate to those that have a partner not into nor supportive of abdl or diapers overall.  I have been married many years and told my wife about my desires to wear diapers and be involved in abdl after encouraged by my therapist to share this hidden side of me.  This happened over five years ago and although it was liberating to finally come out to her about this side of me, we never really resolved where to go with it, so to this day I keep my diapers private hoping for a day where I can wear them in front of her more openly with support.  She was “ok” with me wearing my diapers when I told her, but really didn’t show support nor interest and tried to find other things to comfort me, since diapers are such a source of comfort and security for me now in adulthood.  Even though she told my therapist and me that she was fine with it, she soon tried to rewire my desires and acted like it was wrong for me to wear diapers, so I went underground with them for the time being.  

Occasionally, she will ask what’s up with my diaper interests and wearing and I will say nothing has changed and we don’t take it further.  I think the next move is mine, although she seems happy in our don’t ask, don’t tell situation at the moment. She has told me she wished I would have told her sooner, and this is a regret I live with to this day.  I told her I kept this part of me hidden because I didn’t know how big of a deal it would have been some 30 plus years together and at the time of our earlier dating and marriage, it was only a lingering desire I thought would go away - we all know that doesn’t happen, right?  It was a side of me I felt was compromising and I had yet to accept within myself.  I couldn’t share something I couldn’t come to terms with myself, only therapy many years later helped me find that peace (that’s another story altogether).  

Hopefully, we will be able to have a more open and productive conversation about this in the near future so we can reach a compromise where I can wear my diapers in a more open environment.  We are on the cusp of being empty nesters, with adult kids that keep coming back to live with us after college for a bit before launching on their own, so the house is still not exclusive to wear my diapers in the open.  Part of me is scared that this will change our current relationship and dynamic, which I enjoy so much.  But the bigger part of me wants to be more open and expressive about my abdl self and share it with her and hopefully enhance the intimacy between us.  I need to find the courage and trust to move this forward soon because I am tired of wearing my diapers alone and it feels wrong not to be open about it even though my wife knows, but won’t address on her own.  As I mentioned earlier, it would seem that the next move is mine.

[What's in your diaper stock?]

I have a few remaining bambino Teddy’s, a recently opened bag of MegaMax from Northshore I just started wearing, a bag of Northshore supreme, a bag of Confidry 24/7 and a sample of Betterdry diapers from a recent Northshore order.  

[Dry 24/7]

Another vote for Confidry 24/7 diapers.  I used to wear bambinos almost exclusively, but now am very pleased with Dry 24/7s as my everyday diaper of choice.  They fit me well, are very absorbent and, although they don’t have baby prints, they are thick and babyish to me.  

[North shore shipment is late..]

I had a recent shipment from Northshore that was late shipping to the west coast with an arrival time of Friday, but in transit the shipment  got delayed from Friday until the following Monday.  I complained to Northshore and they were understanding and my next shipment was right on time.  These things happen and I was happy that the estimated arrival time was met on my next order.  I have learned to order my diapers well in advance of needing a restock.

[What diapers do you wear?]

I wear Confidry 24/7 as my everyday diapers and recently received my order of MegaMax diapers from Northshore to try along side my Confidry diapers.  Both are outstanding.

[Anyone here was ever punished with diapers?]

I am convinced that my experiences of being kept in diapers as an older child were a combination of frustration, convenience and punishment by my mom whom grew exasperated by my constant accidents and lack of progress in mastering potty training after numerous failed attempts.  I have posted those experiences here a few times, but in direct response to the question of whether I was punished with diapers, I believe that punishment was part of my mom’s motive to try to stop me from having accidents and becomin gootty trained.  I say this because I remember her being very non discreet and saying things to me while keeping me in diapers or putting me back in diapers for having accidents even when I got much older.  

I was originally returned to diapers fulltime as a 4 year old after having one too many daytime accidents and made to wear them until I started school.  I remember her being very strict about my diapers and making me feel like a baby for wearing them.  It felt like punishment as I tried to get used to being in diapers again and deal with the unwanted attention from friends, family and others about my diapered status.  My mom would tell everyone I was not potty trained and had no desire to try, thus I was required to stay in diapers.  I felt very much like a baby again and slowly got used to being checked and changed on a regular basis as I lost what little control I had gained from previous potty training attempts.  It felt like punishment to be exposed in settings where I was the oldest kid in diapers around others and teased for it.  I was sent out to play but always had to stay close to home to have my diapers changed and other moms in the neighborhood treated me like baby too.

Once I was finally potty trained for school and out of diapers fulltime, my Mom had rules that if I wet or messed my pants, it was back in diapers as my punishment.  I wore these all in one plastic backed training pants to school and during the day, but if they got damp or dirty, my mom would take me to my room and diaper me for the rest of the day.  I was expected to use my diapers while in them and went to bed still diapered not knowing if it would continue in the morning or whether I was would return to my training pants.  I would usually stay inside while being diapered punished unless we were out running errands.  I would feel so small and insecure as my diapers bulged under my pants and crinkled as I walked.  It certainly felt like a punishment.  My mom would tell me I was acting like a baby when she discovered my trainers wet or dirty and ceremoniously march me into my room to be diapered.  Often I would be left in just a diaper and T-shirt around the house to remind me I was a baby.  Discretion was not high on her list and my diapers were kept in the open for the most part for others to see - stacked on my dresser, boxes in my closet and obvious to visitors and family members.

i would say that these experiences constituted being punished with diapers, although my mom has always said that diapering me was necessary and the only way she could deal with my lack of potty training.  It felt different and left lasting memories and feelings of resentment that took long to get over.  

[Empty nest time? Not if I can help it...]

I would love to hear an update on how things went when your wife returned home and whether you are now her little diapered one.

[How do you put a diaper on?]

I lay down just like a toddler for my diaper time.

[bathtime]

Sounds like heaven and the perfect night time routine for bedtime.  I bet you sleep well and it must be nice to have a supportive wife that enjoys indulging this side of you.  Thanks for sharing.  

[What diapers do you wear?]

I wear confidry 247 adult disposable diapers because they are very absorbent, fit me the best and are all white like the pampers I wore in the early yo mid 1970s.  I also like bambino adult baby diapers and prefer the teddy and bellissimos styles of bambinos.  I like my diapers thick, crinkly and babyish.

[A Big Kid in Diapers???]

My little is 4-5 years old, still not potty trained and must wear diapers fullitme.  This is my very much like my actual childhood where I too had difficulty with potty training and bed wetting and was kept in diapers late into child because of it. My parents, mainly my mom, dealt with my issues by returning me to diapers and this made me feel like a baby and that I was a disappointment.  I was scolded a few times for accidents when not in diapers, but full time diapering made it clear that I was expected to use them instead of the potty, so I did.  I yearn for an ABDL situation and environment that is supportive to my little and embraces him even though he is diapered.  The trust, intimacy and bond between little and big in this scenario are so important.  

[DL going AB]

2 hours ago, nappies4me said:

I was just into diapers on and off for years. Then I tried some onesies which lead to some clothes and now I'm looking at getting a pacifier this week. Just got a pair of the rearz jammies which are really good to.

I must admit that adult baby clothes are addicting.  I would love to have a full wardrobe of them someday. 

[Our Unique Lifestyle]

It’s my normal, but something that took me years to accept and embrace.  I don’t think society will ever accept it, but as long as it’s not hurting anyone or offensive in general, I don’t think it matters.  Good judgement, balance and personal fulfillment go a long way.

[Do you REALLY Want to become Diaper dependent?]

The latest posts on this thread delve into an area that I have moved to in my own need for diapers as an adult - emotional and psychological fulfillment.  These needs developed during childhood and never went away.  My physical need for diapers in childhood resulted in me forming an attachment to them that never went away.  In fact, that attachment only burned inside me and became something I did not understand and carried as a burden for many years.  I consider myself somewhat dependent on diapers today as a means for security and comfort to my inner soul and something I needed to come to terms with over time.  That dependency is soothing that cannot be replaced by something else - believe me, I have tried through the years.  My only recourse was to come to accept it and lose the anger and confusion inside me that made me fill different and inferior as a person because I had this odd dependency.  I am finally at peace with it and have accepted my emotional and psychological need for diapers as just a part of me.  I try to keep it all in balance and not have this need overwhelm me or define me beyond what it is in my everyday life.  This balance is important, yet like many ABDLs I also cycle through strong urges at times that give way to more moderate and mild needs - yet the need is always there beneath the surface ready to awaken at any given moment.  Fortunately, finding peace with it all has made me happy and content with myself.  I cannot expect those that don’t share this attachment to diapers to ever understand, but I do hope that general acceptance and tolerance for differences among us is a value we as mankind foster and grow to make us all better.  

[Do you regularly wear diapers out of the house?]

On 8/7/2018 at 10:51 AM, nappylover78 said:

Wow, that's unusual... never heard of anyone not being potty trained through their own decision before (as opposed to medical reasons, or reversing the process in adulthood...)

I struggled with potty training and I took my parents multiple attempts drawn out over a long period of time to finally get me out of diapers.  Even when “officially” potty trained just before starting school at 5 1/2, I still had accidents and was kept in training pants or diapers due to them.  My mom had a rule that if I had an accident in my trainers, I was back to diapers for the rest of the day.  I actually liked this rule ;).  My parents made a push to get be potty trained just before my 5th birthday, but I wasnt interested and bulked at the idea.  By that time I was attached to my diapers for the attention, comfort and security they brought me.  

[The Moment You Knew]

#foofybabykitten - I began taking diapers when I was a teenager in situations similar to those you describe above.  I remember a few instances when we had friends of the family visit our home with young kids still in diapers and that I would take a diaper or two from thire diaper bag if the opportunity presented itself.  I also had a paper route during that time and would buy pampers with my paper money and go to an adandoned wharehouse to try them on and return to my happy days.  The comfort and security of being in diapers was like coming home.

[Why I am an ABDL]

On 3/14/2018 at 12:11 AM, NewGuy20 said:

"Our current hypothesis is that while very young infants a toddlers, we fail one or more development stages and develop 'fixations' that draw us back to those infant times in a pointless attempt to relive and move on past that stage."

In my case, I quite literally failed (or struggled) with the task of potty training. Because potty training was especially difficult for me as someone who struggles severely to sequence basic tasks, I likely saw diapers as a relief from the anxiety brought on by potty training. So in some sense, the 'hypothesis' that you mention fits perfectly with my own personal experiences. Although - once again - I must stipulate that these are MY EXPERIENCES. I do not presume that make any statements about EVERYONE in this community. I can only speak for my own personal circumstances which are unique to me. I never stated that anyone NEEDS to have a learning disability in order to have this fetish. Only that I personally have a learning disability that can be directly connected to developing this fetish earlier in life. 

Struggles with potty training is exactly why I am an ABDL today and attached to diapers as an adult so many years later.  As a child, the task of potty training was too much for me - my body’s control and mental readiness were not on the same timetable that most parents expect from their kids.  My mom attempted to potty train me for the first time just as my younger brother was born soon after my third birthday.  I have few memories of this time, but do remember my parents bringing my brother home from the hospital and wearing these all in one training pants with a plastic outer shell and thick cotton interior.  

My memories become much clear as I was closer to 4 years old and we moved to a new city.  We lived in a large apartment complex, and during this time, I remember having accidents during the day in my training pants and wearing diapers at night because I always wet at night.  I became anxious about my accidents and the negative reaction from my parents, mostly my mom because my dad was rarely home, overwhelmed me and made me feel bad about my lack of control. I had difficulty learning my body’s signals to go t other bathroom had no confidence in using the potty.  By the time it registered, it was often too late and I would wet and soil my training pants.  My mom began to diaper me again during the day after accidents, but returned me to trainers soon thereafter hoping I would catch on.  We didn’t stay in this place long.

My dad was in the military and we moved again across country soon after I turned 4 and lived in another apartment complex until my folks could find a suitable house.  It was here that I remember the incident that returned me to full time diapers and forged my attachment to them for ever more.  My accidents became more frequent and soon after we arrived, we were grocery shopping when I had a particularly bad accident in my training pants.  My mom had to end our grocery shopping early and made me wait in my messy pants as she checked out and drove us home.  She was upset and kept telling me I was acting like my baby brother.  We got home and I was out in the bath tub and cleaned up.  My mom brought me back to my room where I saw a diaper and plastic pants waiting for me on my bed.  She told me I would be wearing diapers from now on and put me in them.  I was dressed and we went back to the grocery store to finish shopping.  I cycled through my emotions and eventually landed in a good place.

I was initially embarrassed about being in bulky diapers as a 4 year old, but now expectations were clear and I didn’t get in trouble for using my diapers.  Accidents were no more, because I was back in diapers and everyone was relieved.  The stress due to my accidents went away and I became very comfortable and at peace being in diapers again.  Over time, I grew attached to them and liked the security and comfort they provided me.  I also liked the extra attention that came with diaper checks and changes.  I liked my diapers and remained in them until I was 5 and a half and ready to start kindergarten.  My mom potty trained me again that summer just before school started, but continued keeping me in those plastic backed trainers during the day and diapers at night.  I wanted my diapers back  and got my wish from time to time when I was diapered after an accident - which was my mom’s rule.  Start the day in trainers, but have an accident in them, finish the day in diapers.   I didn’t mind this rule at all, and although embarrassing at times, it meant going back to the security and comfort of what I needed.

I was forever attached to diapers and as an adult I eventually discovered the ABDL lifestyle which was like coming home to me.  It was the failure to potty train that led me to why I am an ABDL today.  I completely relate NewGuy’s experiences and am prove of his hypothesis stated above.