forevernick

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Hi Everyone, My name is Nick and I'm a 25 year old AB/DL from Ohio. I'm a "long time lurker, first time poster" and although I've been "into diapers" since I was young, I'm just now starting to feel like I'm getting a better understanding of myself and the lifestyle. My first recollection of an interest in diapers happened when I was still in pre-school (around 4 or 5): I had been wetting the bed and my parents decided to put me back into diapers using some of my younger brothers'. I don't have a whole lot of memories from that early but I do recall being at pre-school and talking to my friend about how he should tell his mom to put him in diapers because it felt good. I stopped wetting the bed and, for a few years, my interest seemed to subside. Then, when I was around 9-10 I was playing in our basement and I came across a leftover pack of diapers in the basement. I took one out, put it on, and got caught by my parents who proceeded to tell me never to do that again and that it was wrong. Once again I attempted to forget any interest in the subject. Going through the remainder of grade school and high school I had a number of similar rounds of back and forth, I tried diapers a few times but always ended up feeling extremely guilty, throwing the diapers away and trying to give up the "habit" (something I later found to be a common AB pattern: purging denial). In college I had my first opportunity to live on my own and I began buying diapers on somewhat more of a regular basis. I began dating a girl and, after a night where she confided much in me about herself, I decided to tell her about my interest in the AB/DL lifestyle. She ended up taking it pretty well and over the course of the next month even tried one herself (only to find that it really wasn't her thing). I ended up putting aside my interest in diapers because, as in the past, I felt tremendously guilty about it and I didn't want to ruin my relationship. Long story short(er), I ended up marrying the girl a year ago and have managed to suppress my AB/DL interests. I recently began dealing with a general feeling of unhappiness/depression and after some soul searching realized that it stemmed from not being true to myself and trying to hide something which, like it or not, was a part of me. I got up the nerve to talk to my wife and try and explain everything. After a long night of discussion she told me that she loved me and while she didn't have any AB interests she was in total support of me exploring this side of me. In short, it's been a long and winding road in my AB/DL journey and for the first time I'm beginning to find some personal acceptance. I'm really interested in meeting others and being a contributing pat of the community (especially after lurking for so long). Thanks for taking the time to read, I'm looking forward to making friends. Nick