Sophie ♥

Chapter Seventy-Four Ellie shouldn't have left the date-planning up to me. It took me a week to figure out what I wanted to do, and then I had to spend the next two days working up to it. So when I finally knocked on Ellie's door, wearing a nice button up blouse and black dress pants, strawberry blonde hair expertly curled, well... she probably wasn't expecting it. Maybe I should have called her first. "Kylie!" I hadn't expected her, not even to come over, let alone to come over all dressed up and looking frankly gorgeous. I actually bit my lip at how nice she looked and took a step back into the living room to let her in. I was wearing a mint green sundress with white tights, and my hair was up in a little bun. I'd spent most of the day inside today and hadn't been expecting company. "Gosh, you look amazing! When I heard the door, I thought Noland had forgotten his keys again, and here I am looking like a slob.." "No, no. You look fine." I was supposed to be spending the night at Marnie's, truth be told. But we got to talking about my date stuff and she encouraged me to go tonight. Getting ready took ages. It would probably take Ellie ages, too. Ugh, this was so stupid. "I thought we could go on our date tonight. I was going to surprise you, but... I mean, I guess I didn't think this through." Ten seconds in and I was already screwing up. "I love the surprise, this is so flippin' romantic. Gosh. What are your plans? No wait, don't tell me, uh…" I was smiling pretty darn widely. "Um, have a seat? I'll get dressed, I mean, I'll get pretty, you know? You know." I wanted to impress her. I was gonna wear the ivory dress. I sat down on Ellie's sofa like I had a thousand times before. But this felt different. This felt like that scene in a movie where a guy goes to a girl's house and sits down on the sofa, then the girl's dad walks in and gives the guy a stern talking to about respect and curfews. Ugh, if Ellie's dad showed up, I might literally die. Speaking of... "Hey, did you tell your parents yet?" We hadn't talked about it for a few days. Ellie hadn't even made the appointment for her hormones. For her whole 'new outlook on life' thing, she was still adjusting. "Nuhuh, the time's not right yet," I called out from my bedroom, laying out clothing on the bed and then getting to work on my hair. I showered earlier, but I wanted to put it up the way I'd seen online, something elegant. While standing nude in my bedroom, I fussed over my hair. "I'm going to, though!" "If you don’t want to drive up to Palm Hill alone, I'll go with you." It felt like Ellie wasn't going to take some of these steps without prompting. Even calling the doctor's office was proving too much. I wanted to just make the call for her, but Marnie said I should let Ellie go at her own pace. Ugh, her pace was infuriatingly slow! Says the girl who took a week and a half to plan a date... "Umm..." I looked in the mirror at my hair and puffed out my cheeks, dissatisfied with the result. "No no, I don't think that's a good place to go for a date," I answered, distractedly. Prim had texted me like four times in the past few minutes too, and I could hear my phone blipping on the bed, but right now I didn't have time for that. I pulled my hair down, and started over. Patience, Ellie, you got this! "Not for a date. For telling your parents." They had always wanted Ellie and I to get together; maybe the news of us dating would somehow offset their child being a girl. "You gotta tell them sometime." "I knooooow, but maybe if I take long enough, they'll forget I used to be a boy, and then I can convince them I was always a girl, and then the problem is solved." Primping and preening in front of the mirror, I finally liked what I saw with my hair, and could now begin the process of getting dressed. Then I'd do my makeup. I had some ideas for the ivory dress, what to match it with, what color to do my lips, and all that. I was so excited. When Ellie came out of the bedroom, she was wearing a gorgeous dress. Like, nicer than anything I'd ever owned. Maybe nicer than most of the things Marnie owned! It was ivory, with beads and lace around the neckline. The skirt puffed out in an unnatural way, like the kind you see on TV. And the rest of her was just as beautiful, with shimmering pink lips and dabs of blush on her cheeks. "Holy shit..." I whispered, staring at her in awe. Then I had the presence of mind to stand up and walk over to her. I was wearing one-inch heels, so the two of us were about the same height. I hated heels, but I thought it might make her feel better. "Well, I'm gonna take that as a ringing endorsement. Do you like it? I think I like it." I nodded, smiling as I looked down at myself, fingers running over the lines of the dress. "Miss Kylie, I'm ready for my date now, please and thank you." "Mmhmm." I paused and tilted my head. "Your hair isn't going to stay up like that; it's not long enough. Look, it's already coming down." I moved a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Come on, I'll fix it." "Aww, no, really? Gosh I was so excited for it to work, that's blah." Kylie didn't let me whine and gripe though; she took my hand and led me back into my bedroom. "Give it a few more months," I encouraged, brushing her hair through. "Do you have any bows that match this dress? Or a headband or something?" It would detract from the 'elegance' of the whole thing, but she would look a lot more feminine. For right now, even with Marnie's styling skills, her haircut was androgynous at best. "I have a few headbands. One of them came with the dress as a free bonus thing, but I wasn't gonna wear it; it's got a bow made out of the same fabric, it's iiiin..." I pointed to the third draw of my vanity. I found the headband without too much fuss and helped fix Ellie's hair. I gave her a small smile and held her hands. "I'm sorry your hairstyle didn't work. It takes time. In a few months, you're going to be able to do anything you want with it." I'd give her my hair if I could - I didn't give a single fuck. But it seemed to mean a lot to Ellie. "We'll see! I'll go to all this effort and I bet my hair will be stubborn and fussy about it." I really did appreciate Kylie and the work she put in, though; as far as dating-partners went, I was definitely going to be more work than most. "You used to have long hair," I reminded her. "It didn't give you any problems when Lysa and Natalie were braiding it." That was a long time ago, almost five years! I wondered how long ago Ellie knew she was a girl, but didn't know what to do about it. "Okay, all done. Let's get going." I couldn't believe I was going on a date with Kylie. I just couldn't. It was so surreal. Like, 17 levels of surreal. We were leaving my house and we were going down the stairs and we were going to get in her car and I was going on a date with Kylie! I didn't have any good plans. Dinner and a drive-in movie. But the dinner was at a diner we both liked uptown and the drive-in movie was some cliché romance shit that Ellie had wanted to show me years ago. She had probably forgotten all about it. "So, this weekend we could go up to see your parents if you want." Casual first date talk: how to tell your parents that you are a different gender now. I should write a book. "Do I haaaave to?" Spending the time I'd spent being a little girl with Marnie and Kylie had definitely helped me to perfect my Little Girl Whine skills. While I wasn't on the cuteness level of Kylie, I was doing okay with it! But this was a more adult affair, so I tried to take it more seriously. "Maybe we can. They might take it better if they think I'm dating you; kinda soften the blow maybe." "I was thinking the same thing," I sighed, turning the wheel to the left and leading the car uptown. "It's gonna suck. But it's like... a bandaid or something. That lingerie store thing you said last week." Then again, this dating thing wasn't so bad. Sometimes the anticipation of something happening is a lot worse than the thing actually happening. "Oh, you liked that analogy, huh? Occasionally with all the nonsense I babble about, I say something wise or clever." I pulled down the passenger visor and looked in the mirror, turning my head one way and the other. "Do you think people think I'm a boy? I don't think I look like a boy." "I definitely don't think people think you're a boy," I said with an uncharacteristic amount of certainty. "When I first saw you dressed up - at Marnie's place - I was like... dumbfounded how not-like-a-boy you looked. And now you're like, ten times more girly. And you know, if you'd ever call that doctor Jen gave you, you would look a hundred times more girly." I glared at her out of the corner of my eye. "I knoooooow! I just... get so busy, and..." I lied, desperately, because I was still the apparent Queen of procrastination, and I knew I had to do it. But it was so easy to not do it. "What if it changes me? Like, what if I become a big crybaby sookie lala?" "I'm already the stoic one in our relationship, El. We need a crybaby type to balance it out." I flashed her a smile and jumped on the freeway. Ten minutes or so and we'd be there. "Listen. Those pills give you boobs, right? As a lesbian, I can safely say I endorse the 'Ellie getting boobs' campaign." "Well, if I have official lesbian endorsement, who am I to argue? I'm going to be applying to that club for membership soon, so I should make a good impression, huh?" I was picking up my phone as I spoke and I put it to my ear. This time of evening, the call to the doctors clinic would go to voicemail, but leaving them a voicemail was a good first step. I was so proud of her, but by the time we got to the diner I was too nervous to say it. I got out of the car a little too slowly, and Ellie got out of the passenger seat. Was I supposed to open her door or something? I'd just open the door to the restaurant... that would count, right? Ugh, I felt queasy. I could see the nervousness on Kylie's face, I was familiar with her overthinking, a paradoxical juxtaposition alongside her impulsivity. And I did what I do, what I've always done, figuratively. I just did it literally this time: I stood by her side, and I held her hand. And I kissed her on the cheek. "This isn't about rules, we make the rules. We're us. And nobody's ever been us. So stay out of your head and get lost in my eyes, okay?" "Yeah... uh huh." I should have made a quip about how sappy she was being, but I didn't have it in me. It was just a date, I reminded myself. It's fine. So I held the door open and let her go in ahead of me. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Never apologize for quoting stuff! I love seeing what parts people love. Okay, new chapter today! Promise.

Only took 73 chapters! XD

Chapter Seventy-Three "Anyway. You had a story? About a baby clothes store?" She couldn't possibly mean real baby clothes, right? But then again, was it more likely that she found a store with adult baby clothes? "Right, okay, so I wanted something cute to wear, and I wound up looking online. I found this place that had some cute stuff and it said I could pick up, so I went out there." I let her digest that first, because there was no way I was wasting such a good story on one rambling rant. "By 'cute' you mean 'Little'?" No one says baby clothes store if they are hitting up a Forever 21! "Yes. I have pictures, we'll get to that. So anyway I—" Her eyes lit up and I put a finger to her lips. "Shh, I said we'll get to that. So I get there, I'm a nervous wreck. I'm sweating which I NEVER do, and I get my package. I get in the car, I open it, and it's not my stuff!" "So you pre-ordered some little girl clothes from an actual in-person store. You go in, and you get someone else's package? You've heard of the internet, right? You know online shopping is a thing?" Of course she did! She spent more money online shopping than most people spent on food! "Yes, but I wanted it for last night; I had the place to myself. So anyway, I see the name on there and it's Primrose something-or-other, and I'm like ‘well that's not me’, so I steel my nerves, I go back in there and the lady was super sweet and apologetic, and she goes to get my actual package, and who should walk into the store while she's doing that?" "No way..." Okay, the story suddenly got interesting. I leaned forward in excitement. "So you knew what she got, right? Like, you knew this Primrose girl was a Little?" Truth be told, I'd never met another Little. I knew they existed, because of like... the internet. But that's it. "Yeah! She got a onesie, and a skirt thing, and a flowery diaper cover. It was really cute stuff, but it wasn't mine. And she was really cute, too, and—" Fudge, what was the protocol here? Was I supposed to keep it a secret that she was trans? Frick. "—and anyway, so I get my stuff, she gets her stuff, I'm sitting in the front seat of your car hyperventilating, and when she walks out to get to her car, I just think... when am I ever gonna get this chance again? So I introduce myself to her." "You?" Nope. No way. "You can't even pick a movie to watch. You can't call the office when your UBI card gets stolen. And you want me to believe you walked up to a total stranger and talked about her diaper cover?" "I mean, yeah, I did! I told her about the mix up, and she was like 'oh it’s for a friend' and then I was like 'well I got the same stuff really and mine's for me' and she was like 'oh, mine too, do you want my number?' so we texted like all night. Anyway, so that's not the big best part of the story." "You got her number?" I felt an ache in my chest, just a small one. I didn't like Ellie getting other girls' numbers... "Well... what's the best part, then?" "I was talking about my friends and Marnie's name came up and she was like 'Marnie so-and-so'? and I don't know Marnie's surname which I guess is weird, so I was like 'iono' but she was pretty sure she knows Marnie." "Her last name is Bastet," I told Ellie. Then I paused to think about it. "I guess there can't be that many local girls who like to play baby. It's not that surprising that they know each other." They probably met online, not in a concert bathroom. "Oh yeah that's the name she said! Yeah. So here's the juicy part, are you ready for this?" I took her by then hands, took a breath, and felt every bit the teenage gossip princess. "She's Marnie's ex." I blinked. Ex? Like... "Like, they dated? I didn't know Marnie dated people. I mean, I guess that tracks. I mean, people date people, right?" Not everyone was as fucked up as I was. "She never mentioned an ex. Maybe it ended badly? Wow, this is weird. Like, ‘seeing your teacher at the grocery store’ weird." "I'm not sure. She said she was was looking for something more romantic, but Marnie is much more about the caregivery elements of a relationship and so they weren't compatible, which makes a lot of sense. But that's also kinda why she's so good for you too, because you want those bits but not really the romantic attachment, right?" I flicked through my phone to the pictures I took of myself so I could show them to Kylie; she'd love this. "I guess so..." I tilted my head to the side and thought about it. Marnie and I never had a very romantic or sexual relationship. I mean, she was sexy. No doubt there! And the breastfeeding stuff was sexy too. But... it never felt that way. "Maybe we should talk to her about it? I mean, I don't like that you're talking to her ex and Marnie doesn't even know." "This was like literally twelve hours ago, I'm gonna tell her. It's not some big secret. Anyway, do you wanna see pictures I took in my new outfit?" "Ab. So. Lutely!" I shimmied closer to Ellie as she showed me the first of the set. The dress was definitely not the kind of thing you would buy at a grown-up store, that much was clear. It had over-the-shoulder straps like the denim one Marnie had dressed me in for our buffet trip. And it was fucking adorable. "Why don't you ever wear orange? Look how cute you are!" "Orange is hard to pull off, but my skintone works pretty well for it; I only really learned that last night. I got a diaper cover that matches it too, but then realized I don't have any diapers at home. Nor do I know how to wear them, and Prim teased me for that." Ellie got a diaper cover? Like, for a diaper? She swiped to the next picture but I was thinking about my own things. I mean, I had some in my room... "So, uh. Is this like... Marnie's-house clothes? Or are you going to be like... dressing up at your place, or?" "I dunno, actually. Marnie has a lot of cute stuff, but I'm kind of into this whole Little thing. So I thought it would be nice to own something of my own? And maybe when I stay the night here or when you come over there, we can dress cute together sometimes?" I nodded my head, a bit of a smile forming on the corner of my lips. 'Kinda into this whole Little thing'. She was so fucking cute. "Well if you want diapers, you can have some of mine. I mean... I keep some here, in case of anxiety problems or whatever." Totally normal, right? What adult woman doesn't keep diapers around for her panic attacks? "Oh yeah? I don't even know the first thing about putting them on; I kinda zone out when Marnie's doing it, you know? That's a great idea though, you keeping some around just in case. You're such a clever kiddo." I stuck out my tongue. Kiddo. She was such a brat! "They aren't that tricky once you get used to it. But it took me a few tries..." And even now, Marnie was still a thousand times better than me. "Well, maybe I'll get her or you to show me, who knows! Do you like the skirtalls, though? I think it's just a super cute look, and the quality is so nice! If I wasn't freaked about them mixing up my order, I would totally buy from there again." "Honestly, you're just as good with picking out clothes as you've ever been." But unlike before, I was actually interested! Ellie in cute pastel skirtalls and matching diaper covers... my mind wandered. "Aw, well thank you! I'm starting all over from the bottom here, so it's all uncharted waters. I think I'm probably going to sell all my old clothes online or something? Like, start fresh. I don't have the closet space, and I invested so much in them; if I even get like 10% back I can buy a lot of cute girlie clothes and little clothes. Then I can model for you more." She sure was bubbly, ever since she walked in the door. Actually, even when I was talking about what happened to me as a kid, she had a certain composure about her. She talked to that girl in a parking lot, and now she was telling me about getting some diapers for herself? It sure was weird. "Hey, what's got you so..." What was the word? Confident? "I mean, you're acting different. Not that it's bad. Just sayin'." "I think I just realized that life's a lingerie store, and unless I start picking things up off the racks and buying them, I'm never going to feel content." I nodded, assuredly. "I... I guess so." Though the metaphor clearly held greater importance to Ellie, and I would have come up with probably anything else to explain the feeling, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I spent my whole life waiting, hoping it would all stay the same. But more had changed in the past month than the past fifteen years prior. And I was happier. I'd already figured all that out. So why should I still be wandering around the lingerie store, when I knew what panties I wanted? "Hey, El. Would you want to go out sometime?" "Sure! Like, to the mall?" I answered, immediately, chipper and bright and naïve, because honestly the whole idea that she could be asking a different contextual version of that question didn't even occur to me. Although her amused smile kinda started to give me an inclination. "Sure, I mean... it's not a great... uh. Date venue, but..." I paused a moment and looked down at my hands. "Listen, I haven't dated anyone since I was like, eleven years old. So I'm pretty scared, not gonna lie. Like, maybe it'll mess up what we have, or... I dunno." "Oh." Oh she was asking me on a date. Oh. Oh Holy fuzzies. "Oh, gosh, I didn't realize you meant, oh my gosh, yes! Yes, absolutely yes, I'll absolutely go on a date with you. Pshhh, not to the mall, uh... we can do... uh..." I was drawing a blank, "well, you asked me out, so you can decide, but yes, oh my gosh yes." "I have to decide?" Oh, jeeze. Usually the boy did that kinda shit, right? But there weren't any boys. Hm, maybe I didn't think this whole lesbianism thing through. "I guess I'll come up with something..." Despite Ellie's excitement - and slight bewilderment - I seemed a lot less so. This really worried me... My brain took a few seconds to catch up with everything else, like one of those slow-motion-fast-forward scenes in a movie, and I put my hands in Kylie's to give them a squeeze. "What we have is invincible; I'm here to stay. So we might as well get to explore what else we can have, if we like each other that way, right? I promise, I'm not going anywhere." I nodded with a half-smile. I wasn't sure I believed her, but I wanted to. Hopefully that would be enough. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Seventy-Two I regretted that the outfit I bought was literally only meant for wearing during the day and that I could only wear it at night. But I hung it up on a silk padded hanger and displayed it on the back of my bedroom door as a small concession to myself. The next day, I woke up to the sounds and smells of Noland in the kitchen, and I pulled my satin robe on over my pajamas and peered out from my bedroom. What do you call the kind of conflict where you both want and don't want someone to ask about something? Hmm.. "Hey El," Noland said, rolling sausage links across the pan. Ellie paused outside the bathroom door, but it was closed. "Stupid question, but I don't suppose you want some breakfast?" "Uh..." I thought for a second, second guessing my own instinctive refusal, and then nodded very slowly. "Something with just egg-whites, maybe some turkey sausage? Not much, please, like you're cooking for a three year old." Wow. I was really proud of myself! "Coming right up!" Noland went to the fridge to grab a few more eggs and went back the stove. Ellie pointed to the closed bathroom door and Noland followed her line of thought. "Jen's here. She's probably going to shower or something." "We really need a place with two bathrooms when we finish the lease," I pouted, glumly, and laid myself awkwardly like a cat along the top of the sofa cushions. "Hey do you know any doctors?" "Know any?" Noland asked, tilting his head. "I wouldn't get a beer with her, but I have a primary care doctor. And I have a physical therapy contact for my knee. No one that could help with hormones though." "With what?" I mumbled, in the least believable display of faux-naivety I could muster. Had he gone through my phone? Or was I just like the most ignorant person in the whole dang world? "Well, you've never asked about a doctor before," Noland explained. "Even when you had that 103 degree fever. And now you want one, a week after coming out. So I put two and two together. Jen might know someone - she volunteers at the university's Queer Center." "Is this just a thing people do? Have I just had my head in the sand, or? First Prim, now you. Does everybody know more about me than I know about me?" I sat up on the back of the sofa from my laying position during that talk, and then lost my balance and tumbled back onto the seat cushions. "I mean, sure. It's pretty common stuff these days. I think everyone in the country is probably just one or two degrees removed from a trans person." Noland cracked two eggs into a fresh pan, careful to keep the yolks in the shells. "Who is Prim?" "Girl I met on a super secret shopping mission last night. She's pretty nice. She used to date Marnie I guess, and it's surreal that everyone just knows everyone, but I guess the world is a small place." I changed the subject back though, before I forgot. "So you think I should go get some hormones today?" "You just happened to bump into a girl that used to date... the girl that you think is dating the girl you want to date." Noland tried to wrap his head around that one. "Yeah, that's awfully coincidental. Anyway, maybe see a doctor and see how it goes?" "Do I need to know like a brand name, or something? Are there better hormones than others? I don't wanna end up with the hormone equivalent of Walmart panties or something." Was that a thing? I hated doctors… "Hm... this is a bit outside my knowledge base." Noland got a plate ready and took a bite of one of the sausages. "This sounds like a question a doctor could answer." "Right, but! But. If I know what to ask for first, then I can spend less time at the doctors. You know how it always goes. Oh, El, you gotta eat more. You're way underweight, blah blah blah. Hey look, doctor, I'm gonna be eating breakfast today. Who does that, huh? Yeah that's right, normal people." "I don't know." Noland plated up the eggs and turkey sausage - an extra sausage link just in case - and walked around to the living room and handed Ellie the plate. "I can go with you, if you want. Or get Kylie to go?" "Oh, maybe. But if I want her to come I have to have it seem like it’s her idea or she'll be big pouts about it." I looked at the food, at the white omelet with a tiny amount of ketchup the way that Noland knew I liked. Without hesitating, I took a little bite with a thoughtful look on my face. "I dunno, El. She seems pretty invested in this whole 'Ellie is a girl' thing. If you needed her to come to the doctor to get you hormones, I don't think she would pout at all." But what did Noland know? Kylie was Ellie's best friend, not his. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just stop lollygagging about it and just talk to her, huh?" I ate a bite of egg with ketchup, and then a bite of sausage. "You know if I took that advice earlier in my life, I'd probably be happier." "You're on the path to happiness, El. That's something to be proud of." After Jen's shower, she made a few calls. She found a doctor that wouldn't bounce Ellie to a specialist, then gave her the number. The rest was up to Ellie. * * * * * "Did you bring my car back?" I asked, before Ellie got two feet into my house. "No way, I sold it to a Canadian Drug Cartel so I could get magic pills that make me get boobs. But then it turned out that they were just sugar pills and you know I go into like a sugar rush coma because I rarely have sugar. So it was a whole thing and of course I brought you car back, you ditz." I rolled my eyes with a smirk. And then did a quick double-take, because I wasn't sure I was seeing what I was seeing. "Oh my gosh, your hair looks amazing! Kylie, what the actual heck, you look fricking beautiful. Extra beautiful!" "Shut up," I muttered, patting my hair. To be honest, I'd forgotten all about it. Though every time I passed a mirror, I did a double take. It was weird, knowing what you're supposed to look like and not looking that way at all. I wondered if that was how Ellie felt her whole life. "It looks like you're in a good mood." I was just finishing something up on my laptop. Then I closed the lid and leaned back on the sofa. The memories of the day before were fresh in my head, but I wasn't that ashamed. If anything, I felt... lighter. "I'm in an okay mood, I had a really good day yesterday. Well, day and night. It was nice! What did you get up to?" I flopped back on the sofa next to her, no elegance accounted for with my skirt. "Little day with Marnie," I said with a small smile. I hoped I wasn't blushing. "It was like... intense stuff. But also talking about some of my problems and feelings. Which sounds bad, but it wasn't bad." Nothing with Marnie was ever really that bad. Why did it take me so long to learn that? “Problems? You gotta tell me, because I got some stories to tell you too!" I looked at my painted nails and frowned that one of them had chipped. Well, I'd have to do those all over again. "Uh." I paused for a moment, thinking to myself. Any time I thought about this kind of thing, I felt nauseous. Anxious. Broken. But if Marnie could stay, then... "I'd rather not bring down your mood." "Bring down my mood? Oh come on, I'm unflappable. You wan to hear about the illicit baby clothing store I went to last night, right? And that I received someone else's package? Pony up with your story, Kylie~" "Wait, what?" Okay, suddenly my story was a lot less interesting, and it wasn't just the 'not wanting to talk about it' either! "Baby clothing store? Someone else's package? Did you get a package?" "Tut tut tut, I asked first. So you gotta tell me your story, or you're not hearing mine. Now c'mon, give me all those problems, I'm," I shuffled forward to the edge of the sofa, "on the edge of my seat!" "Jeeze, you're bubbly today." I sighed and pulled my knees up onto the sofa, so I could sit with my legs crossed. Maybe I shouldn't have brought this up. I bet I could still say no and she would listen. But I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to understand... "So, uh. You remember Tessa Dresdon, from middle school?" "Uh, yeah, name's familiar - was she the way that accidentally waxed her entire eyebrow off once, and she looked perpetually surprised for like three weeks?" "No, that's Patty. Tessa was the blonde girl she hung out with in high school." Already, I was feeling uncomfortable. I sunk into the sofa a little bit and pulled a pillow over my lap. "So this was maybe a year before you moved to Palm Hill, and I didn't really have any friends. Tessa wasn't my friend, but our moms knew each other or something, so I got an invite to her twelfth birthday party." "Okay…" I settled back into the sofa. I hated the past. I was a shitty, useless trash child. But now, I had my own place. I had new clothes. Okay, maybe not new, but they didn't have holes in them. I played with real dolls at Marnie's place, not the kind your mom had when she was a kid. I even had a house for them. Why did we have to talk about this? Why did I bring this up? The quiet was dragging on. I had to say something. Do something. Why was my chest hurting so much? This was so stupid! Why was I acting stupid? I put my arm around her shoulder, and gestured to pull her head to rest on mine. I didn't know that she'd allowed the vulnerability, but it felt like the right thing to do. "Take your time finding the words, it's alright." I pushed my face into Ellie's shoulder. It reminded me of Marnie. It reminded me of the past two days, with her and Ellie. I never thought I'd be here. I never though I'd live through middle school. It's not normal to want to die at twelve years old. Then Ellie came along... I nodded my head and sat back up, forcing a smile. I was close to crying. Or I was close to a panic attack. I couldn't tell which. "Sorry..." "You don't have to apologize, Kylie. This sounds like it's gonna be a hard story for you to tell - well, guess what? I'm your devoted audience, and you can take all the time you need." I faked a smile and nodded my head. This was so stupid. It happened 10 years ago! I could do this. So I took a deep breath and looked confidently at Ellie. Fuck, she was cute in her makeup. And she hadn't slipped up on her voice even once since she got here. I was sort of proud. "Tessa's party sucked, because no one wanted me there, right? I didn't even want to be there. But my Mom made me go. So Tessa's brother finds me sitting alone and starts talking to me. And he was really nice, so like... that was cool." "Uhhuh, go on." So this story was heading down a path I already didn't like. Socially isolated girl, brother finds her, toxic atmosphere at a party and I knew full well how cruel kids could be. But right now, it was best just to listen. "He said a lot of shit that probably wasn't true. But I bought into it. About how cute I was and sweet and how much he liked my hair and whatever..." I shrugged my shoulders and looked away from Ellie. It was easier just to stare out the window. "And he was in high school. Maybe I was star-struck or something. High schoolers always seem so cool at that age, you know?" "Uhhuh," I definitely didn't like where this was going, but my own indignation wasn't going to help her. "So then what happened?" "Well, we didn't go to the same school, but we wanted to spend time together. So I just had him come to my place. My mom was always working or getting high with Gloria, so she was never home. And I guess we were dating or something at this point? He called me his girlfriend, anyway." Ugh, this was exhausting to talk about... "So this high-school boy was coming over, calling you his girlfriend, Tessa's brother, right?" Just so we were on the same page, when I had to hit this boy with a car. "Yeah..." I sighed and pulled my knees tighter to my chest. "It was all consensual shit, so like... I just wanted him to like me, you know? I know it was wrong, because I was eleven. I know he shouldn't have. But can I just skip this part?" I didn't want to get into all the things I let him do to me. "Sure…" I was so deeply concerned. "Long story short, he stopped coming around. When I finally confronted him about it, he said he never really liked me. I found out a little later that he had a new girlfriend his own age, and I was back to being alone." I sunk a little further into the sofa. "Then I told my mom. She didn't believe me, of course. She said if anyone heard me lying like that, I would get thrown in jail. And even if I was telling the truth, it was my fault because I let him do it. So I never told anyone else. Until Marnie. And until you." "Well your Mom's an idiot, and I hope that boy steps on a lot of Legos in his life. And more than both of those, I'm sorry you had to go through that, Kylie. That really stinks." I pulled her in closer, tighter, firmer. "Yeah..." I closed my eyes and put my head on Ellie's shoulder. It was over now, but sometimes it still got to me. I was so afraid that if Ellie or Marnie found someone else, they would leave me behind. Or that if I spoke up about my feelings, I'd get in trouble. I knew it was all bullshit. I knew, with absolute certainty! But I couldn't stop the feelings. And at least, for now, I had them both. "Well, I've laid in bed next to you and wet my pants, so I'm pretty sure that means you're stuck with me, huh?" I kissed the part of her hair, softly. I rolled my eyes and sat up again, throwing the pillow at her that I had on my lap. At least she knew how to distract me from my thoughts. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Fixed the hyperlink. It was dragging the color hex code into the URL. But I really wanted to make sure the link worked for people who might want it. New chapter soon.

Chapter Seventy-One There was a note on the fridge when I got back to the apartment: Pasta bake in the fridge. Your fav noodles, low sugar. Put it in the oven for 35 minutes at 350. Eat what you can. Call if you need anything. Noland was a sweet boy, he really was. I still poked my head into his room all the same, just to make sure he wasn't here. And then I locked the front door and draw the blinds. And only then did I open the box and start to take stock of what I purchased. I took a picture and sent it to the number that I'd gotten the message from. Prim, right? Prim. P. R. I. M. Contact added. Nailed it. > Look! It's the right package this time. > Oh shoot, cute skirt. > The whole outfit is spot on. You've got good taste. > Aww, I like the cover! Sure enough, Val's extra gift was a plaid diaper cover, similar in color to the orange skirtall I had bought. > Thanks. I like orange. I say it's because it's summerly, but actually it's because Fall is my favorite season but it sounds cliche to say so > Did all your stuff fit ok? this is my first time getting anything like that. > Haven't tried it on but I've ordered from them a dozen times I'm not worried > So you're new to the whole ageplay thing? > New, I guess, yeah. My friend, or crush, or whatever, she's into this stuff, and her and her Mommy invited me to play with them > Despite appearances, I'm usually pretty chill and relaxed so I go along with everything > Today had me so frazzled tho @_@ > Nah you were fine! You were cute. > Pardon if I'm being an ass btw but you said something about your voice. Are you trans? > I think so > I mean I guess so > I mean I'm new at it > And I guess I did the whole coming out thing > And I live as a girl now > But I'm bad at it > And my parents don't know > Haha telling parents is like the last step anyway. > Did you start hormones? > I don't know what that means > What > Like estrogen and stuff? > You're kidding right? > I didn't know that was a thing actually > I'm new at this >_< > You're living as a girl and you don't even know what estrogen is > You're fucking wild > Okay lemme send you some links > https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy > This seems complicated > And like I'd have to see a doctor > I hate doctors > You know the last time they took blood they ruined a shirt that cost me half a months pay? > Well its your call hun > But hormones help a lot with looking more girly around your face and stuff > Plus boobs if you want those > And I know a doctor who actually knows what he's doing if you need help > Boobs sounds nice > I like wearing a bra. I've done that like twice now. Feels fancy. Like a princess. > How do you know all this stuff anyway? > Wow you're super new huh? > I'm trans too > You learn a lot along the way > Oh > Wow > Okay. If I can look as good as you do, sign me the heck up > It's called hormones hun > Ok that sounds fine. Is it dangerous? > I'm not exactly the rebel leader type > I'm more Marco Diaz than Star Butterfly > Altho to be fair, Marco is a badass > I'm not a badass > The fact that you identify with Marco Diaz should have tipped you off ages ago XD > It's not really dangerous but that page I sent you has a risks section you can check that out if you want > Huh. Okay. I'm gonna try my skirtalls on. > That's such an awkward name for a garment btw > I'll send you a pic in a sec > Looking forward to it ^_^ > image0.png > I think I look cute. > The diaper cover is kinda uncomfortable without a diaper though, but I don't own any of those > I'll have to ask Marnie >Marnie? >Bastet? > I don't know > And given I've let her convince me to wet myself > I probably should know > Sounds like Marnie > Is she your cg? > Uh, idk what that means. She's my best friend’s Mommy, and I guess I call her that too, but only when I'm there, and then I guess it's also a role in a relationship that she's in, and she asked me if I wanted that with her, and idk > My life is confusing enough as it is > Wow ok > Sorry just processing > Cg is caregiver btw like mommy or daddy or whatever else > Oh okay. Like a gender neutral term? That's pretty rad > Why processing? Did I say something bad? > No not at all > Wait you don’t have diapers?? > Why did you buy a diaper cover?? > It looked cute! > And I own like a thousand pairs of panties > But this is my first skirtly thing I've owned > So I figured be prepared? > Altho technically > She gave it to me for free > Yeah Val is sweet like that > Do you want like > Some links to diaper sites?? >Like to buy them? I don't think there's any point, I really only do that stuff with Marnie and Ky and Marnie has a whole wall of diapers >Ky? >Your friend? >Or maybe crush? > Idk > I had a crush on her for literally years > She's only into girls tho > And now I feel like if I tell her I still have feels for her > She'll think I'm only a girl to get in her panties > Or diapers > Or whatever > I'm not btw, my panties are way nicer than hers > Wow your life is complicated > I guess transitioning gets a bit that way > You don’t say > BTW how do you know Marnie? > If your Marnie is my Marnie anyway > I'm pretty sure it is > We used to date > Oh wow > Small world! > I think she's into Ky tbh > Don't count on that XD > What do you mean? > She's ace > And her romantic feelings are pretty tied up with maternal stuff > Which makes her a great cg and a shit all girlfriend > Oh > Huh > That makes sense > But if you're into a maternal girlfriend, that's good right? > Like I think Ky is idk > No not really > I mean sometimes its great because you wanna be taken care of and feel special and she's great at that > But she handles big kid feels with bab stuff > Like your econ professor fails you on a midterm because you forgot your works cited page and she just wants to put you in a diaper > Like cant we just talk about stuff?? > What about candlelight dinners or weekend vacations?? > Maybe I just wanna drink wine in a hot tub instead of going to Disney you know?? > I mean she cares a lot and its great but idk > If she wants to be a mom maybe like just have a real kid?? > Ugh > Sorry >_< > Huh. Yeah I guess that makes sense. > I wondered what she got out of it, honestly > Maybe its just a surrogate thing like that > I'm sorry things didn't work out for you two, relationships ending is a drag > Not that I'd know > But Ky pretty much ran off when I told her I was a girl and the thought of even losing a friend was pretty hard > It's fine > I'm glad she found someone new > Or two people or whatever?? > And if Ky cant like you for you then fuck her > There are better girls > Haha, if relationships were venn diagrams, one side would be 'girls who're cute and nerdy' and the other 'boys who became girls who don't eat food and waste all their money on clothes, while being too afraid to do anything' > And when I say venn diagram I mean just two circles that aren't touching > You'd be surprised > Hey quick question > Shoot > Why do you doubt everything? > What do you mean? > I mean like > Today you apologized for your voice cause you didn't think it sounded girly enough > And you think Marnie and your crush are going to shack up even though you have no reason to think that > Actually you have her ex here telling you it wont happen and you still don’t believe me > You don't think you'll find anyone else like this Ky girl even though you've never tried > Which I know because you said you never broke up with anyone which means you never dated anyone > You wont buy diapers because you think its just this thing at Marnie’s place that you do but you could just like go buy some and find out > And you say maybe and I guess every other text > Its like you don’t even want to be sure of stuff > Wow > Idk > I didn’t really think of myself that way > Idk.. > I think if I just don’t commit to anything I can't be disappointed? > Apathy is easier than sadness > When did you figure out you were a girl?? > Not long ago > I was with Marnie and she dressed me up > And I saw myself in the mirror and totally freaked out and had like this weird anxiety episode > And we played a few more times > With me as Ky's baby sister > And eventually Marnie was like "hey are you a girl?" > And I was like "idk" > And she was like "well maybe know" > So I thought about it for a while > And decided I am > Ok so since then have you been sad at all? > I mean > I was sad when Ky freaked out about it? > So yes you have been sad > And since you figured out you were a girl do you think things have been better or worse or the same as before?? > Probably better > Although selling all my boy clothes sounds like a nightmare > So committing to being a girl made your life better even tho you were sad > I guess you get to decide if you want things to be easier or things to be better > You're pretty pushy for a girl in a flower onesie and suspender skirt > You're pretty whiny for a girl who doesn’t have any diapers > Touche > You're fun to to talk to, Primrose. > Thanks > You're pretty cool too > I can't wait to find out what you stand for > Or crawl for > Little bit of little girl humor there > Idk tho > I've always just gone with the flow on stuff > It feels weird to rock the boat > Even tho I know it's kind of what I want > Marnie and Ky are having this big date day thing > I shouldn't be jealous, but I am > I just don't know of what > Anyway I look super cute right now so I'm gonna go take some photos and maybe take a long bath after > And hey um > I came and talked to you. That was a decisive move. I'm pretty proud of that > Yeah... > You did > I'm proud of you too > Send pix ^_~ > If you're a good girl > > Ttyl! > I'm an angel! ? > Ttyl ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Seventy This felt weird. Like, it was one thing to go out in public dressed like a girl. But now I was buying something I could probably never wear in public. Was it shameful? No. But neither was it at all practical. And the very act of buying this stuff was basically admitting to a total stranger that I was a diaper-wearing baby girl. Good job, Ellie. You took a perfectly good trip and you gave it anxiety. The storefront was basic at best, with a small window and a block-letter sign. It looked like a lolita fashion store, though the website had more speciality products. It was the only place I could find nearby that sold something like this without having to wait six weeks for shipping. Getting there was easy. Home to Kylie's Car to Parking Lot. But that walk from the parking lot across the street to the front of this store? My chest felt like I had a whole drummers’ section of a marching band in there, and my breaths felt shallow. Why was I so anxious about this? Oh. Because I felt like without my clothes, I was still a boy. Because anyone who looked at me would see boy. Anybody who got close enough to hear me would hear boy. Gosh darn it. I looked over my shoulder, back toward the car. And then at the small block-litter sign and the door beneath. In or out. Forward or backward. I chose forward. "Um... looking for Val..." Ellie's voice was only a whisper, and the older woman behind the counter could hardly hear her speak. But she caught the name, and her face perked up in recognition. "Well, you found her! Nice of you to come in and pick up your package. Honestly, shipping costs these days." She rolled her eyes and disappeared behind a wall. When she came back a moment later, she had a box in her arms. She set it down on the counter and pushed it toward Ellie. "You paid online, so you're good to go." "Oh..." Well, that was easy, right? Of course it was easy, because none of this was hard, nor did it ever need to be hard, and everything I was afraid of was all in my own damn head. I knew that, logically. Just like I knew I wanted to ask about some other stuff when I got here, and I'd thought long and hard about it on the drive over. But here, now, in front of an actual human being? It suddenly felt insurmountable. "Um..." Okay, that's a start, that's a word! Or.... part of one. "I was-" Voice, behave! "I saw you had um..." Cute adult diaper covers? Pacifiers? The stuff they only listed privately, and not on the main website; the same listing that we both knew I'd picked these out from. Val tilted her head curiously. Was there something wrong with the package? The girl barely looked at it. Maybe she had a question about something. "Yes? Anything else I can do for you?" Now I was making her worry! Get it together, Ellie! Do that thing with the two cheek hand slap thing, but in your head, and stop annoying this poor seamstress! Deep breath. In. Out. In. "I was wondering if you had a diaper cover that might match?" I felt like I was going to die, or maybe kill this poor lady with my awkwardness. "Oh, sure." She didn't skip a beat. After all, this was part of her job. But then she said something a little strange. "Other than the one you ordered?" "Oh, I..." Did I order that? Did I add it? I was distracted by Noland, I guess, but... "Oh, did I order one..? Shoot, gosh, I'm so dumb, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to waste your time." The woman tilted her head curiously as Ellie took the box and hurried out of the store. That was odd. * * * * * Wow. I was just about to have a heart attack. My arm was numb, too! Right arm? Left arm? One of them! Although I was holding the box in a vice grip that was maybe cutting off my own bloodflow. Gosh darn it, Ellie, what is wrong with you? I rested in the car, trying to catch my breath. The box sat beside me in the passenger's seat. Every time I glanced over at it, my mind would wander. What cover did I buy? I wanted to open the box. But here, in the front seat? No no, too visible. Kylie had tinted rear windows though, so I tossed the box onto the back seat. Then I climbed over, awkwardly, to peel back the ribbon and take stock of my purchase. Why did this all feel so damn forbidden? The first piece of clothing, I didn't recognize. A onesie with flower prints. The second one was a suspender skirt. And the final one was a flower-printed diaper cover. Actually, none of the clothes I ordered were in there. I rummaged through the box until I found the receipt. At the top was a name: Primrose Heathrow. "Fricking fricketty frick onna stick..." She gave me the wrong package! She... I... this wasn't... I stuffed the lid back on the box and felt the panic tense up in my chest. I had to go back! I had to return to the scene of the crime. The police were going to come, and I was going to get arrested. I looked awful in stripes! Gosh. DARN IT. I slinked out of the car and took a deep breath, scampering back over to the storefront. Please don't like Printemp Marshmallow or whatever their name was be there, please please please... "Oh, hi again." Val smiled behind the counter, looking up from her phone. The store was empty, which wasn't surprising for a Sunday afternoon. They barely got any business today, so they closed early at 5. "Did you think of something else you needed?" "Oh, um... you-gave-me-the-wrong-box," I gingerly set it down on the counter, and looked over my shoulder at the door, then back at Val. "This is for uh... Primruth... someone? I'm Ellie Ranze." "Oh... oh! Oh my gosh! Oh, I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh, the card on file was Eliot, so I thought..." She paused mid-sentence, looking at Ellie with embarrassment. "S-sorry... sorry, lemme just..." She took the package and hurried into the back room. I took a deep breath as she disappeared behind the red curtain, and then let it out slowly as I leaned myself over the counter and put my head down on my arm. This was exhausting. And it couldn't get any worse! It got worse. The little bell above the door chimed and a young woman walked in wearing a nice floral dress. Her hair was pulled to the side in a pony tail, draping over her shoulder. She went straight to the counter and waited in line behind Ellie. I stood up and turned slightly to face her, doing my best to smile, as I waved, and then nodded, before turning back around. Please let that be enough… Val came out again and saw the new customer. "Be right with you." She put a new box onto the counter and slid it toward Ellie with an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry about the mix-up. I know I should be checking IDs, but it always slips my mind. I added something extra, on me." "Oh, I..." I wanted to thank her, truly. I wanted to show all the gratitude in the world, but now, especially with someone else here? Gosh, I wanted to shrink down to pocket-size and disappear. "Thank you, um, thank you." I clutched the box to my chest with both arms, and turned way too fast, bumping into the woman behind me. She caught me by the elbows to keep me from falling over. "Hey, careful now. Don’t hurt yourself." I apologized unintelligibly and stumbled out the door. * * * * * A few minutes later, the girl came outside with a familiar box: the same box Ellie had accidentally taken as her own. She walked across the parking lot, past Kylie's car, toward a mini coup at the back. I was sitting in my car, staring at her through the side-view mirror. I should talk to her, I thought. Oh, yeah, would I say? ‘You have great taste in onesies’? But she seemed nice, and she was someone else who was into this stuff. Kylie and Marnie might want to know that, right? Right? So really, this wasn't even for me! It's for Kylie. Or Marnie! Or for rationalization. I got out of the car and didn't even close the door, hurrying to catch up with the woman. Oh god, she was going to think I was stalking her or something! The woman had just made it to her car and fit the medium-sized box into her trunk. So I stopped and shouted just above a whisper. "Um! Thank you. For in there..." "Huh? Thanks for what? I didn't do anything." Her voice had an air of innocence to it, an intrinsic kindness. She didn't seem put off at all by Ellie's advance. "Um. Being like... kind, when I ran into you in there? After the package mixup, and everything, you had a lot of reason to be annoyed, and you were really nice, so um... thank you." "Mix up?" Val had said a few words about her pickup. Something about it being opened, and there was a miscommunication. She didn't really get it at the time, but now... realization dawned on her and her cheeks went red. "Oh! Um. Yeah. I... uh... it's... just for this... friend..." Great lie. Stellar. What about a costume party or something? "Oh, no no no, it's okay! I got the same stuff... I mean not the same stuff cause if it was the same then I wouldn't have known about the mix-up, but like the same-same... same... you know, um... same?" I was such a mess.. "Oh..." The woman paused and nodded her head. She looked at Ellie up and down, like she was analyzing her or something, and then nodded again. "Well, um. This is awkward then, huh?" Maybe it would be less awkward if she introduced herself. "I'm Prim." "I'm Ellie. I don't know how Val confused our names, they're not even near each other in the alphabet, or..." Try to make sense Ellie, please just try! "You have good taste in stuff, or your friend does, or whatever. I have a friend, too. Her name's Ky. But my stuff I got is for me." "Yeah, uh. My stuff is for me, too. I was just covering." Prim paused a moment and bit her lip. "So you're... I mean. I haven't seen you before. I know most... people. Who buy that stuff. Around here." "I'm um..." I thought about the minutiae, all the complications of getting to know someone, and the fact we were doing it in the parking lot. Ugh. "I live about a half hour away, so like um... close, but not close? I'm sorry about..." Deep breath. "My voice, I know it's bad, I'm working on it…" "Oh." Prim nodded her head again. She had been a little side-tracked by the whole "random person walking up to her and talking about diaper covers in code" that she hadn't been paying enough attention to Ellie's voice. Or her clothes. Or her makeup. Or her hair. "No worries, presh. It's hard at first. You'll get there." For some reason, Prim seemed a lot less anxious all of a sudden. "Hey, do you want my number?" "Um... sure, yeah, that would be great! I'm not being like... a creeper, right? I'm not really the ‘approach people randomly’ kind of…" Saying girl felt weird, I didn't know why. "Person. But yeah, texting would be nice." "Texting sounds great." Prim reached into her purse and took out her phone. She added a new contact and passed the phone to her new friend. When she got it back, she opened up a new message. "Ellie, huh? Cute name." A few button presses later, and... "I sent you a text, so you should have my number." "Oh! My phone is in the car... um..." I rubbed my hair, and smiled as cutely as I could manage. "I'll text you when I get home? And I won't take up any more of your time now, thanks for being um... cool, and junk." "Yeah, it was nice to meet you." Prim returned to her car and Ellie to hers. Prim pulled out of the parking lot first and her mini coup disappeared into the traffic. Well. I just did that. I took a few deep breaths, put the car in drive, and I went home. I didn't even check my box this time; I couldn't stand the anxiety of it being wrong again. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Sixty-Nine "You spent another night with that Marnie girl?" Noland asked, leaning over the counter to look at his roommate. Ellie was playing on her laptop, looking a bit more intense than usual. It was strange how so much could change, and yet nothing really change at all. Even though Ellie was a girl, she still acted the same as before. Noland treated her the same too. Gender was bullshit anyway. "Yeah," I nodded, a little distractedly. "Marnie's a nice girl." That was definitely a distracted answer, but I also didn't know much else in the way of descriptors for her. I called her Mommy, but that kind of felt like it was more Kylie's thing; that left me feeling a bit like a tagalong. An inevitable sibling, maybe. "So you stay at her house. Sometimes. With Kylie? And like, once without Kylie..." Noland was still wrapping his head around the whole thing. Honestly, he just wanted to show support and understanding was the first step. "And you're all friends. And Kylie and her aren't dating, even though you thought they were. Is all that right?" Noland flipped a pancake with a spatula and turned down the heat on the skillet. Ellie was clicking through links on her computer. "Right. I mean. Right. No, I..." I was definitely distracted. "I guess? I think they're probably going to wind up dating, or something? And I don't know if that means me and Kylie are going to continue kissing or not, and..." I puffed out my cheeks. "Why does this website look like something from 1999? I just wanna sign up..." "Woah, wait, what?" The pancake slipped off Noland's spatula and it fell straight to the floor. He groaned and turned off the skillet, hurrying through the kitchen and into the dining room. "What do you mean kissing? You kissed? Like, you and Kylie? Or you and Marnie?" "Uh, me and Kylie. Kissing Marnie would be weird. She's like my—" Mom? Hmm. Nope. "She's just, our dynamic, we don't kiss, and—" I puffed and pouted and took a deep, almost dramatic breath. "I'm using your phone number for this, because apparently websites want to know everything about me and my genetics." "Uh... sure." Noland was still stuck on 'kissing Kylie'. He shook his head and sat down at the table, across from Ellie. Then he looked at the laptop between them, which was facing away. "What website are you talking about, anyway? Is it a porn thing?" "A porn thing? What? No, don't be gross," I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head. "I was on Tumblr, looking for something because it's payday at midnight, and I wanted to get something cute. Not like just-cute, but real-cute. Super-cute. And I had this post I bookmarked and it linked me to this site ran by this woman who makes the kind of cute stuff I want, or... I guess I shouldn't assume gender, but this person. And they live like an hour away. So I want to message them and ask if I can pick up if I order, but the only way to contact them is through this other site, and this other site is heck on the deck to navigate." Noland nodded along, but he had no idea what Ellie was talking about. Her fashion stuff always went over his head, and this wasn't any different. But Noland was determined to be supportive. "So what are you buying? Can you show me?" "Uh..." Sure. Sure, why not. "Okay. Yeah. You can see part of it." I flicked through the tabs open - and for me to have even five tabs open was rare - and I found him the original post I'd bookmarked. "I want these ones, in maybe like pastel orange or something?" They were shoes; hand-made mary-janes to be precise about it: single buckle, and they were glossy like freshly painted fingernails. I loved them. There was a whole ensemble to go with them; a skirtall, and a cute tee, but I didn't let him see those. "Orange always feels summery to me." "Orange shoes?" Noland tilted his head to the side, maybe trying to see whatever it was that Ellie saw. But he didn't get it. "Well, they are summery, sure. Is it okay to wear summery stuff in the fall?" Summer was just about over, after all. "I think so. I'll get some cute woolen tights or something. Do you have any idea how nice it is that girls stuff just assumes layering, by the way? It's so nice, Nole, you don't even know. So much potential. I need to get a new wardrobe, I'm going to run out of space..." Notably, after sending my message to the seamstr— the clothes maker, I was feeling a bit calmer. "Oh yeah. Are you keeping all your other stuff, or like... donating it?" Ellie's wardrobe had probably cost her thousands and thousands of dollars, and it had taken much of her young adulthood to cultivate. Replacing all of those clothes seemed daunting to Noland, and donating them wouldn't help. Hmm... "Maybe we could sell them online. Like, open up an eBay shop or something. I could help out?" "Sure, if you want. I don't know if there's a lot of call for people wanting the kind of clothing I buy, but it would be nice to make something back because girls’ clothes are somehow more expensive." I had an orderly category of receipts in my inbox that I kept of everything fashion-wise that I'd ever bought too, which would make listing stuff easier at least. "So..." Noland leaned forward with his head on his hands, smiling up at Ellie. "About that 'kissing Kylie' thing. Wanna say a bit more about that?" Noland wasn't really a gossip, but this was news beyond news. This was a bigger deal than Ellie being a girl! "We kissed, it was pretty nice. It was a while ago. We kissed again more recently, and she likes it, and I like it, but it doesn't mean anything. She doesn't kiss Marnie, just me." I looked at the notification popup from a reply to my message and hurried to open it. > We are open until 5. Ask for Val at the desk and she can get you sorted out. Bring ID to verify purchases. Thanks again for your business. "You've been best friends since middle school. Then you start living as a girl. Then you and Kylie kiss. And that doesn't mean anything?" Noland's math must have been off, because that didn't make any sense. Was he missing a puzzle piece? "Well, I'm a girl now. She likes kissing girls. She doesn't like kissing boys, and that's fine because I'm not a boy anymore." Well, when I was naked I definitely felt more like one, but I tried to avoid that happening as best I could - another reason clothes were awesome! "I guess that makes sense..." Noland paused and leaned backwards in his chair. Hm... "So she doesn't kiss Marnie. But she kisses you. Right? So obviously your gender isn't the only factor here. Maybe there's something there?" Noland had watched Ellie pine for Kylie for the better part of their friendship, and he never thought the two would get together. Now, things were changing. He wasn't going to let Ellie turn a blind eye to this one. "I mean, I'm still into her; that hasn't changed or anything." I smirked, feeling a little bittersweet about it all. "But she's been a real soldier about this whole Ellie-Gender-Heck thing, and I feel like 'by the way, can we date now?' isn't the right move at the moment, you know?" "Yeah, I suppose you're right." Noland sighed in resignation. Maybe somewhere down the line, but Ellie was going through a lot. It wasn't the right time. "Is your shoe lady letting you pick up the package?" "Uh, yeah, she is." Shoes. Tights. A skirtall. Two frilly tops. Hair accessories. The whole package, apart from underwear. She had such good taste in stitch work, and she sourced her fabrics, and it was wonderful! "I should get going." "Uh huh, have fun." Ellie closed her laptop and left Noland alone to finish making breakfast. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Good! Thank you for the comment! Thanks! We really wanted the day to feel full of suspense, because it's a very anxiety-provoking experience, surrendering control for the first time. You can do anything you set your mind to, Little Lamb!

Chapter Sixty-Eight We both thought I would fight her. I had a safe word. But today had been so draining, and yet so validating. I'd put all my trust in Marnie and she never failed, never faltered. I went out in public. I nursed under the warm August sun. I let her dye my hair. She diapered me not once, not twice, but three times already. Why was I so scared? I didn't want to be scared anymore. I wanted to reach out and grab her hand. So I let go of the hem of my dress - which I had been clutching in my fists - and reached out to her. She took my hand in hers and guided me to the sofa, where I rested my head on her lap. Mommy urged me to move a little bit toward the end of he couch, even though my feet hung over the arm a little, and she shuffled down with me. Then she slid the bottle between my lips and I winced as another ache filled my stomach. Kylie was such a good girl, Marnie knew. She always had been. She just had a habit of getting in her own way. Today was going to be a turning point for her; new rules, new hair, new outlook. Marnie held the bottle, and played with Kylie's hair, humming softly to her as she suckled on the milk inside. "Mommy loves you, sweetie." The milk made me feel queasy, but the sucking motion was calming. Relaxing. I looked up at Mommy through bleary eyes and she played gently with my curls. I could feel the vibrations of her humming. Her words rang in my ears. Love. Halfway through the bottle, another ache made me scrunch up my face. But I didn't fight it. I didn't want to fight anymore. I pulled my ankles back and propped my feet on the arm of the sofa. It was a nice position. Easy. I had spent the past few months getting over my toilet training. Wetting while standing up, wetting while lying down. I didn't think it would translate. But as I sucked harder on the nipple and pushed, it came naturally. Just like sitting on a toilet, but filling the seat of my diaper. The second push was less pleasant. The hot mess stuck to my bottom and I felt tears form in my eyes. Shame. Humiliation. Hate. She would be disgusted. She would leave me. But Mommy's words brought me back from that darkness. "Shh, shh, no tears sweetie, Mommy is so proud of you, so proud of you, you're doing so good honey. Push for Mommy, okay? Let's get it all out, and you're so beautiful, you're doing so great." Marnie had to fight to keep her composure, to stay calm and not lose herself to giddiness. Everything about this was just so much more intense and wonderful than she could ever have predicted. The third push was the worst. The seat of my diaper was already full and it squished against my skin. A faint, familiar scent filled the air. The smell of a baby and a dirty diaper. I was that baby. I had that dirty diaper. And just as I was about to cry again, Mommy wiped little beats of sweat from my forehead. "I love you, Kylie. You're my baby girl, and this is fine. You did everything right. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere." Not going anywhere. I felt my head nod and my feet slip off the arm of the sofa. I squished down into the messy diaper, causing the smell to thicken. But I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't have a panic attack. Because after all that, I still had everything I started with. Mommy's words, a bottle between my lips, and love. Actually, I had one less thing. Discomfort. And I was glad to see it go. Marnie had never changed a messy diaper before, and to some degree she expected it was going to be a matter of the reality of something being somewhat of a damper on the fantasy of the thing. But she didn't really care right now; she'd change Kylie in a moment, she'd take good care of her. Right now, she wanted to reassure her. "It's okay for Mommy to change you now, if you’d like. You did do good." I nodded my head. I knew I did. The bottle was gone. How long had it been? At least a few minutes. Mommy got up and she helped me to my feet. The mess shift around and weighed down between my legs, causing the diaper to sag. The smell wasn't nice. Fear easily found its way inside me. I was too vulnerable. I grabbed for Mommy's hand and pulled her close. "Shh, it's okay, it's okay. Let's get you changed." Mommy led the way to my room. My bed. My glow in the dark stars and my stuffed elephant. If I had to make a room all stinky, I was glad it wasn't Mommy's room. But when she went to grab a diaper from the dresser, I pulled on her hand. She looked back at me curiously. "Not yet..." "Not yet? Do you wanna sit with Mommy then? Maybe on your bed, for just a few minutes?" Marnie wasn't sure what was on Kylie's mind, but maybe she was just trying to get used to all of this. She had crossed a threshold most adults never do; a one-way street that she'd charged into headlong. I nodded. It felt so automatic. Like I was on auto-pilot. It reminded me of those times, with that boy. But totally different. Back then, I didn't want to pay attention. I wanted to make it all disappear. I ignored so much that I ignored my body too. But this time, I wanted to remember everything. I wanted to remember the way Mommy's eyebrows would pull together in confusion. I wanted to remember the light in her eyes and the edges of her smile. I wanted to remember the heaviness in my diaper and the smell that followed me around. I wanted to remember her hands in my hair and that bottle between my lips. I wanted to remember how to trust someone. I didn't want it to feel like running; I wanted it to feel like staying. So I took Mommy's hand and led her to my bed. I laid down beside her and draped my leg over her, just like I had after our afternoon nap. I pushed my face into her neck and my forehead against her cheek. I let that moment last forever. That stupid, humiliating, disgusting moment; a moment with someone I loved. They didn’t share words, but Marnie inferred a lot about Kylie's intent, enough at last to follow along: to lay with her baby girl, to embrace her, to make it clear that she knew her sweetheart had messed her diaper, and that it was normal. A normal part of her life. A normal part of their relationship. A normal thing for a girl like her. A normal thing for her. A shared moment, photographed in memory, immortal forever and ever for just the two of them. This was love, one version of it. I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes Mommy wasn't under me. I looked at the spot where she was, trying to process it. She left? She left... Then a clamor on the other side of the room made my head turn. The late evening sun had cast the bedroom in shadows and I didn't see her at first. Mommy, with a fresh diaper in one hand and a stack of wipes in the other. She must have knocked something over. When she returned to the bed, I sounded astonished. "You're still here..." "And I'll be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that - for as long as you'll have me, Kylie. I'm your Mommy, and I love you. I'll make my mistakes, I'll say the wrong things, I'll be foolish and selfish sometimes. But I'll always love you, and I'll always be here. I promise. I'm not going anywhere." Marnie held up the diaper with a little smile. "Now let’s get you changed." ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Sixty-Seven "Kylie, dinner!" Dinner was a baked mac and cheese with broccoli, and the type of crunchy panko top mixed with Cheez-Its that Kylie adored. Marnie knew she'd just eat around the broccoli - she always did - despite asking for it. Marnie hypothesized that it just made Kylie feel like she was asking for a healthy dinner. Though, this time would be different. I got up from the couch and put my phone on the coffee table. I took one step and froze in place. The crinkling of the diaper. The thickness between my legs. A wave of Littleness washed over me. I exhaled and took another step forward until I was at the dining table. Mommy was ready with a bib in hand. "I dun need that," I said with a sigh, knowing it didn't matter. Sure enough, Mommy answered in kind. "What Mommy says goes." I let her tie the bib around my neck. I didn't complain, even though I wanted to. This was an exercise in trust, right? I could deal with this part. Then Mommy put our plates on the table, but she didn't put either of them in front of me. I reached for my purple plastic plate - the kind with little dividers - and she slapped the top of my hand. I stared at her in confusion. "Girls your age are new to solids sweetie, so Mommy is going to feed you. Now be a good girl, or you won't get any maccy cheesies." Marnie scooped up a small spoonful of the mac and cheese, broccoli and all, and held it up. "Here comes the airplane, sweetie~" My cheeks went scarlet and I puffed out my cheeks. "I can do this—" Mommy pushed the spoon toward my mouth and a few noodles passed between my lips. Half the spoonful, though, wound up falling onto my bib. I stared at her incredulously. "Oh, looks like someone made a mess, don't worry sweetie, that's why Mommy has to do it." And as she spoke, she loaded up the spoon again. I was shocked. Honestly, I didn't think she would do that! And the way she talked to me. My cheeks turned red with frustration and I opened my mouth to say something else. Mommy put the spoon in my mouth again with surprising precision, and seemed to spill some of it on my bib all the same. Maybe even on purpose. "I... I'm not..." "Don't talk with your mouth full, sweetie." I quickly swallowed the mac and cheese, but she had another spoonful ready to go. This time, it was full of broccoli. I stared nervously and kept my mouth closed, shaking my head. "Oh honey, don't be fussy now, you got this sweetheart, the airplane is so full of people!" She made airplane noises, and weaved the spoon back and forth, drawing out the experience. "Sweetie, open up, or the airplane will crash!" I kept my lips shut tight, more so out of spite than anything else. I didn't need to be fed like a baby! Even if I was a Little, I was like... four years old or something, right? This was so unnecessary! "Well, if you want to be naughty, you know what that means," Marnie said in a sing-song tone. "No cookies after." My resolve softened. "Come on now, open up and fill your tummy so you can have cookies. Or Mommy might decide that you need to take all your meals from her bosom, mm?" Threat of no cookies. Threat of breastfeeding. Marnie knew what she was doing and to whom she was talking. I looked at Mommy nervously, then at the spoon in front of her. I could see the green of the broccoli, even through the cheese. It made my stomach turn. But I didn't think she was joking, either; I wouldn't get cookies tonight. She might even start doing more breastfeeding stuff, which made me blush as red as a fire hydrant. So, after weighing my options, I reluctantly opened my mouth and let Mommy feed me. "There we go! Such a good girl! You're such a good girl, sweetheart." Marnie opportunistically fed her little girl another spoonful. Mommy feeding me was bad enough, but all her little teasing was more than I could take. All the kind words. All the praise. I felt warm and happy. I even started enjoying the broccoli a bit, because she would get so excited after I ate some. Then, before Mommy could put another bite in my mouth, I closed my eyes and winced, breathing just a bit too heavily. It only lasted a moment, a second or two, but I didn't hide it very well. Mommy watched me for a second, and when I seemed okay again, gave me another bite of mac and cheese without saying a word about it. "There's a good girl, look at how well you're doing sweetie, look at how well you're doing!" Marnie showed the half empty bowl to her little one, and began to finalize her piecing things together. The stronger than usual desire to use the bathroom. The slight unusualness to her demeanor. And then what was clearly a stomach cramp? It wasn't something Marnie had ever had Kylie do, but it was about number one on her wishlist of helpless babyness. Mommy finished feeding me the mac and cheese, taking bites of her own every now and again. Then she went to the kitchen to get a rag. I sat uncomfortably in my chair and closed my eyes. I couldn't keep this up... When Mommy came back, she handed me a cookie and held a baby bottle in her hand. She didn't give me one with dinner. I took bites of the cookie between her washing me up and taking off the bib. "You ate all your brocllytrees," Marnie used the word that Kylie had uttered once before when she was feeling as Little as could be, and smiled. "Keep that up and you'll have lots and lots of energy for playtime, my little honey princess." Mommy helped me up by the hand and ushered me into the living room. She sat down on the sofa and I froze in place. A sharp sigh of exhaustion escaped my lips and I closed my eyes tight. When the ache passed, Mommy was waiting on the sofa with the bottle in hand. She had to know. There was no way she didn't know. "Can I... um. Can I please use the bathroom, Mommy? Please?" My voice was small. Weak. Desperate. Marnie smiled, a mixture of sympathy and anticipation, framed in innocence, as she motioned for Kylie to lay down in her lap for her bottle feeding. This couldn't be it, could it? This wonderful, enticing, beautifully helpless moment, to end what was a perfect day? Gosh. "No, sweetie. You're a baby and babies use their diapers. Come on now, c'mere to Mommy." "...but..." "What Mommy says goes," she said simply. A reminder of the rules. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Sixty-Six I wondered how much longer this would take. I was feeling a bit queasy. When Mommy and I were in the bathroom, she unsnapped my onesie and slid a finger into my diaper. A blush filled my cheeks. "Dry. Unexpected." "Shush..." "Relax for me, baby girl. You know that holding your bladder is bad for girls your age. I'm going to be giving you a shower in just a little bit, but you need to wet your diaper for me first, okay?" "I really don't have to go," I muttered under my breath. Mommy went over to the shower and turned it on, adjusting the water temperature. The sound of running water seemed to help a bit, and I tried to relax. But I felt tense. Uncomfortable. And honestly, I didn't have to go! I hadn't had anything to drink since Mommy's... "Try for Mommy, okay, sweetie?" If she wasn't wet before she showered, she'd wet herself pretty soon after her baba she was going to get during her hair curling; Marnie was trying to mitigate her fussiness before it happened. This was the problem with diapers; you take them off and then they're trash. Which meant if I didn't wet this one, it was wasted. Honestly, I didn't know how expensive these diapers were. A dollar? Ten dollars? Maybe Mommy should let me buy some myself one of these days. And it wouldn't hurt to have a few more at home... "Kylie?" Mommy asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. I shook my head shyly. "Sorry, I just don't gotta..." "No worries, honey. Mommy's gonna get you into the shower, okay?" Usually, it would be a bath, which was easy. Showering was required though, for the hair dye to rinse out. Marnie had purchased a clear vinyl raincoat she could wear over her clothes, so she could literally stand next to the shower and help Kylie get clean without getting too wet herself. It was awkward. I mean, Mommy had seen me naked a hundred times. She had even bathed me before! But this was different. I had to stand in the shower, fully naked, as she scrubbed the color from my hair. It looked sort of brown, from what I could see from the tips. I swear, if she made me go through all this just to dye my hair back to the normal color! When all was said and done, she wrapped the towel around me and pulled me out of the shower. I looked to the mirror, but Marnie had it covered up with a towel. Was she trying to keep me in suspense? It was working. "Let's get your hair dried really quick." Marnie had a blow dryer for that. Then she finished toweling her off enough to get her back into a diaper, because accidents happened, right? Kylie would love that line. My hair was definitely not that awful bright blonde anymore; I could see the bits that fell over my shoulders. But it was still a little damp and I Mommy kept pulling it behind my head so I couldn't see. Then she kissed me on the top of the head and said something about accidents. I blushed. "Wait. Um." "Um? What is it, sweetheart?" Marnie tilted her head, curiously, as Kylie wriggled fussily in her place, seated on the stool. I glanced at Mommy in the doorway, then at the toilet again. If I could escape my mild Littlespace for even a moment, I might even be able to make a compelling argument! But I'd have to try my best anyway. "Could I use the bathroom really quick? That way I'm fine until bedtime, and you don't have to change me again?" "The potty is for big girls, and not girls who make a fuss. We’ve got plenty of diapers for you and it's going to be a long road ahead with working on your hair so you're going to need them." "Please...?" I looked at Marnie a moment too long and she gave me a strange look. I looked down at my feet and blushed. "Be right back, sweetheart." Marnie left me alone in the bathroom. I could close the door. Lock it. Use the toilet. Get spanked again. Cause a fight, probably. But I trusted Marnie, didn't I? I did. I definitely did. So I took a deep breath and waited patiently on the stool. Mommy is always right. Marnie didn't consciously consider herself to be testing Kylie, but there was a certain thrill she got as Mommy knowing that her little girl was trained enough to not betray her trust. The next stage was diapering, lots of powder because she'd be in this one a while, and... what else did she need? Hair mousse, curling iron, scissors... and she had to get the cookies out of the oven. Marnie took a few more moments in her room before heading back to the bathroom. I didn't ask to use the bathroom again. Marnie took me to her bed and dressed me: a fresh diaper, thicker than usual. Maybe a booster? But instead of a onesie, she pulled a purple party dress over my head. I hated dresses. But if we weren't going anywhere... I checked the bedside clock as I was lying on my back, the room smelling of baby powder. 7:25. "Oh my stars, your hair already looks so cute. I can't wait to see what it's going to look like when I'm done. Sit on the chair here, sweetheart," She'd brought a dining room chair into the bedroom. "This is going to take a little while, but if you look out your door, I put the chair so you can see the TV. Isn't that sweet?" "Uh huh..." I wasn't out of Littlespace, not completely. But something was on my mind. It was a lot like the time Ellie was over and I kept getting nervous around her. But before long the TV distracted me. I finished my episode, then started another one. Every now and again I'd whine or say 'ow' when Mommy pulled on my hair too tightly, but it didn't really matter what she was doing. I trusted her. "Something wrong, sweetheart? Mommy can tell because it's making your hair all tense." That was notably not how it worked at all, but it was little girl logic. "Huh? Uh. No, I'm okay." I should maybe have come up with a lie or something, so it sounded more believable. But I wasn't thinking clearly. Thankfully, Mommy was just about done with my hair and she didn't push the topic any further. Marnie stood back and looked at Kylie's hair, dripping down her shoulders in tight ringlets, strawberry blonde as strawberry blonde could be. She hadn't needed to cut it, which was good, because Kylie was tense over something and that might have pushed her over the edge. But gosh did she look cute... It was time to show her. Mommy took the controller from my hands and paused the show. I pouted up at her, unbeknownst to me exactly how cute I looked when I did it. "I was watching that!" Marnie almost fainted from adorability overload, and it took all her best potions to keep her composure so as not to spoil the game. "Stand up, sweetie," Marnie put her hands over Kylie's eyes, and began to guide her toward the wall to wall mirror in her own bedroom. This deserved a grand reveal! Honestly, this seemed sort of stupid. I never cared about my hair before, and I wasn't going to start caring about it now just because she put some color in it. Then again, I never thought about Ellie as a girl until she put some makeup on her. So what did I know? Mommy moved her hands off my eyes and I looked in the mirror. Me. Definitely me. But in a fluffy party dress, the kind Mommy always liked to put me in. And my hair was blonde, but like... a normal blonde. Almost a nice blonde. Actually, it was close to Ellie's color, if not for the reddish hints. And my hair was pulled up in tight curls, fluffing out at the bottom. And it was me. Definitely the same Kylie. But also very... different. "I look like a kid," I said with annoyance, but my voice was a little too quiet and my cheeks were a little too red. "You look like the beautiful little Mommy's girl that you are, sweetheart." Marnie would have complained that she'd spent three hours on this, and got such a lukewarm response, but she knew Kylie well enough to know that she fact she didn't freak out was praise enough. "You look beautiful." Mommy went to start dinner. I sat on the sofa with my phone, looking at myself in the camera. Wow, she did a good job. I mean, I looked like a toddler, but other than that... maybe without the ringlets I'd look older? But the color was pretty. It changed my whole look. The skater style sure went out the window. I bet I'd look awful in my band tees. I pulled on one of the curls and watched it bounce back into place. Well, Ellie and I sure looked like sisters now. "Cookies." Marnie smiled, sliding a plate of three cookies onto the coffee table. Cookies before dinner were the kind of reward that Kylie got for being such a good girl. There were, of course, more cookies for after, but not until she'd put some real food in the tummy of her little girl. The cookies smelled delicious. I took a bite of the first one and held the camera at a different angle. I was in a weird mood. Not Littlespace, but not Big Kylie either. Like, an excitable teen? Was that a thing? Can you be Little, but as a teenager? "I think it's the dress, actually," I called into the kitchen so Mommy could hear me. "I think maybe with normal clothes it won't look so babyish." I sure hoped so, anyway. I couldn't walk around outside looking like this without having a panic attack, I was sure of it. "I definitely picked the dress out to match; you're absolutely right, sweetheart. And I had that same hairstyle when I was like.. fourteen, and it works well with a lot of teen fashion stuff from back then. So it's probably fine now, too. You won't look adult, but I think as long as you don't look like you're in diapers, it's only going to boost your self esteem." Real talk. "I better look older than fourteen," I shot back, a touch of annoyance in my voice. Then I thought about Mommy's hair. Shorter, curly, sort of ginger. "Wait, is your hair dyed?" "No, this is my natural color. But I dyed it a lot when I was younger." That made sense. I heard a timer go off in the kitchen and some plates shifting around. I'd finished all three of the cookies in front of me. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

THANK YOU Always a huge compliment from you, Alex, and I'm glad you're loving the story. ❤️ What can I say? Pudding is a genius. TBH I think stories do caregivers a huge disservice. CGs have a lot of emotions and anxieties about things, just like Littles do, but stories tend to write them off as "getting what they want all the time and always happy and bubbly or sometimes strict and spanky" but that's so... dehumanizing. I think even experienced CGs are often insecure, and I love writing Marnie as a relatable and realistic caregiver. It means a lot to me to have a character like her. THANKS FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS EVERYONE! ;__; It really helped brighten up my day, I can't even tell you! Thank you for reading and making this whole thing worth something. ❤️ I hope you like the rest of the story! (we're only about 2/3rds through it!)

Chapter Sixty-Five I woke up to afternoon sunlight and flower petals spread across Mommy's bedsheets. My braids had loosened quite a lot and my skirtall was balled up on the floor at the foot of the bed. I looked down at the butterfly onesie, tight against my stomach, and the puffy diaper between my legs. At least I was dry. Mommy's eyes were closed, but I knew better. She always woke up when I would stir. So I crawled up next to her and draped my leg across hers, my forehead to her cheek. "Morning," I whispered. My voice sounded harsh in the quiet afternoon. "I think it might just be afternoon, Smylie," Marnie replied, without yet opening her eyes. She always was the type to rise in a measured, patient, fashion. Plus she had a beautiful girl next to her in bed. "Same difference," I muttered, closing my eyes. Memories fluttered back to me, like butterflies through a greenhouse. The trip to the woods. The bunnies. The clearing. The picnic. I should have been mortified, but I wasn't. I smiled softly and squeezed her around the stomach. "You got to try your hand at being a forest fairy. How was it? Did you have fun?" Marnie had such a way with words. I blushed a little and pushed my face into her neck. Jeeze, why did she have to say it like that? "It was fun..." But the day was only half over. Marnie wasn't the kind of girl to squander the kind of power I had given her. Maybe if I laid here long enough, she wouldn't do anything else embarrassing. "Are you ready for part two, after having your afternoon nap? Girls your age need their naps, so I let you sleep just as long as you needed, after you had your lunch from Mommy." Lunch from Mommy. What a power move. Marnie could almost feel Kylie squirming against her as the blush took hold. The only saving grace to this entire moment was that Marnie wouldn't be able to breastfeed for at least another day or two. Something about the medicine she took. Truth be told, I thought you could only produce milk after getting pregnant, but I also got a C in my 8th grade Health class. Eventually I sat up and rubbed the rest of the sleep from my eyes. "So, what's part two, then? Aren't you out of ideas?" "Out of ideas? Oh no, you've spent a long time telling me no on things, sweetheart. There’s a big inventory in Mommy's head of things she'd like to do with you." Ominous! "Maybe not another outing today, though." I sighed and looked forlornly across the room at the door to her en suite bathroom. At least we didn't have to go anywhere else. A saving grace. "I don't suppose I could use the bathroom, huh?" But I knew the answer even before I'd asked. It was going to be a long evening. "You're cute." Marnie sat up and ran her fingers up the back of Kylie's neck, ruffling her hair gently at her nape, before pulling her in for a kinda sideways cuddle. "I'm going to dye your hair." "What? Woah. Hey, that's not Little stuff! That's a clear abuse of power!" Sure, I said ‘What Mommy Says Goes’, but that didn't transcend the bounds of our roleplay. I wasn't going to give her my car or wire what little money I had to her bank account. Dying my hair was definitely not part of the rules. "It's going to be Little stuff. I'm going to put your hair in little ringlets, and I'm going to dye it before that. If you don't think that's Little stuff, then you haven't seen the lengths that Moms go through for their little girls to look cute." Marnie was pretty resolved on this. "My hair is fine how it is," I said sharply. I had never dyed it before; my hair was a simple, ordinary brown. I never had to style it either; it had a bit of waviness already that seemed all the same to me. And it was long, pouring over my shoulders, but not long enough to get in the way. Sometimes I would let Marnie brush it, but it was fine. Practical. "Your hair is getting styled tonight, sweetheart, because a lot of your outfits are going to look so much cuter with your hair done. And it's going to be a good way for you to be able to feel Little in your day to day life, without it being obvious to other people that you're just a little baby girl who likes to wet her diapers and nurse form her Momma. No more fussing now, okay?" "I don't like those things!" I said louder, my hands balled into fists. She was winding me up, and she was good at it too. "Whatever. Do what you want. It's just hair." Truthfully, I didn't know why she thought changing my hair color would make me feel Little. It felt like an excuse. But for what? To make me look nice? Was that so bad? "There's a good girl! C'mon, let's head into the bathroom. We’ve got a long process ahead of us." Bleaching. Coloring. Curling. Styling. Cutting, maybe, although she didn't mention that part. It was definitely going to be a long night, especially if Kylie was going to be whiny the whole time. Luckily, Marnie had a secret weapon! She caught the binky hanging from the clip on Kylie's clothing, and pressed it firmly between the little girl’s lips. I thought she would let me change into something a little less valuable, but Mommy wrapped a towel over my shoulders and tucked it into the onesie. Then she wet my hair and started spreading some awful-smelling stuff through it. To make matters worse, Mommy sat me on a chair in the bathroom just across from the toilet. I stared it for twenty minutes while she finished what she was doing, shifting awkwardly in my seat. She set a timer on her phone and we watched a show together. After a while, my head started to tingle and she dragged me back to the bathroom. I sat on the floor with my neck on the lip of the tub and she sprayed the chemicals out of my hair with a showerhead. I had never been so bored. Moreover, I didn't feel Little at all. "Sweetheart, Mommy is doting over you, getting you as cute as cute can be, and if you keep holding onto that poutiness then the wind will change and you'll be stuck with it." Marnie bopped her lightly on the nose. Her hair looked pretty different in bleached blonde, but that was only the start of things to come. She wanted Kylie to be able to get into this! "I'm not pouting," I said flatly. Honestly, I wasn't. I was actually a little nervous. I didn't know a lot about hair dye or any of this stuff. I didn't even know what color Marnie was dying my hair! I had to remind myself to trust her, but each time I said it in my head it felt more and more hollow. With a deep breath, I forced a smile and tried not to think about what was bothering me. Marnie was in a tough spot here, because she could tell something was on Kylie's mind, but to talk about it or poke about it was only going to invite more distance between her Little feelings. "You're doing so great, Smylie! You're not squirming or making a fuss, or anything like that. You're the very model of the perfect little princess right now, and Mommy couldn't be prouder!" Maybe some compliments would help? "Thanks." I kicked my feet and stared at the toilet again while Marnie's voice was drowned out by the blowdryer. When all was said and done - and Marnie had me stand up - my hair was the most absurd blonde I had ever seen. Like, unnaturally so. And it definitely wasn't me. "Nope! No way. Absolutely not!" "Of course not, Kylie, I haven't dyed it yet. Now stop making a fuss, or—" So, Kylie didn't let Marnie finish. She stomped her foot and shook her head and told her no, over and over, being a royal brat about it. And bratty behavior meant opening the door to the way that Marnie dealt with such things; before she knew it, Kylie was pulled over her lap for what was about to be a fierce spanking. Marnie had spanked me before, and always with the same result. I knew it wouldn't hurt, but I tensed up in fear all the same. Then the first echo of her hand on the seat of my diaper. The diluted slap on my butt. Pain didn't wash over me, but embarrassment. Over Mommy's lap, like a toddler. I tried to shake off the feeling, but the next spank sent me underwater. Littlespace swarmed around me and I squirmed in her arms. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" "You," smack, "will," smack, "be," smack, "the good little girl," smack, "that Mommy raised you to be, young lady!" Marnie didn't yell; she didn't have to. Her words were potent, self-assured, and utterly in control. It was so hard to argue with somebody who held so much confidence in what she was doing. I always tried to count along with her. One, two, three, four. Then by fours. Eight. Twelve. And maybe sixteen? But by the time she stood me on my feet, tears were filling my eyes and I wasn't sure how many spanks she had given me. My butt tingled, but the diaper had softened the blows. No pain. Just embarrassment. Shame. I wiped my eyes and whispered again: "S-sorry... sorry Mommy... I'll be good..." "I know you will sweetie. I know this is all just overwhelming and a lot for a little girl your age. What Mommy says goes, and Mommy makes the rules. So you just need to trust how much I love you, okay honey?" Marnie wrapped her arms around Kylie, and pulled her softly against her chest. I sat quietly and kicked my feet while Mommy put more stuff in my hair. It was the exact same as before, sitting there and staring at the toilet. But it felt different. All my worries from before were clouded in a mist. I kept hearing a small voice in my head, telling me that Mommy would take care of it. It wasn't my problem. When Mommy was done, she helped me to my feet and led me by the hand to the living room. I sat quietly and sucked my pacifier while I waited for her timer to go off. I was much more interested in the TV show this time. Marnie was feeling much more confident, now, which was good because telling another adult that you're going to completely change their hair and that they're not going to get a say in the manner was a huge amount of responsibility. Marnie wasn't even sure she could handle it, but so far, so good. She put some break-and-bake cookies in the oven, humming happily to herself. "Kylie, come on." I looked up from the TV. I hadn't heard the timer go off. "Jussas—" I paused and took the pacifier out of my mouth. I didn't even realize I still had it in there. "Just a sec - show's almost over." Though I'd seen this episode before. I knew how it ended. "You can pause it, honey. Mommy needs you in here now." Wash the dye out. Shower her. Get her hair ready to be styled, cut, debuted. Ideally, she'd like it if Kylie didn't see herself at all until it was done, so she'd covered up the mirrors in the bathroom with a towel. I whined a bit as I fished around for the controller, paused the show, and followed Mommy into the bathroom. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Sixty-Four Marnie helped Kylie to her feet, and used the opportunity to subtly slip her hand up under the hem of her skirtall and slip two fingers into the padding between her legs to check for signs of wetness. All in one smooth motion, she did it just so seamlessly, so effortlessly, so naturally. My cheeks went scarlet and I felt waves of embarrassment pull me down into the sea of Littleness. I looked around nervously, but... well, truth be told, I had no idea where we were. But we were definitely alone. After Mommy confirmed I was still dry, I stammered out some words through my shyness. "D-don't... do that..." "Mommy's just checking - you don't need to fret one bit." Marnie was pleased as punch; she never dreamed things would go so well! She had her little girl, out in public, dressed to the nines, and she'd just publicly checked her diaper! How magical. "I dunno where we are," I muttered. My voice was different. Quiet, airy, fragile. Little. I felt very little, and I reached for Mommy's hand. "Well I think the path is that way," Marnie said, pointing to the left. "Dun wanna go to the path," I pouted. The path meant people. I didn't want people. "Well, my little Forest Elf, where do your pretty little buckled feet want to take us? This way?" Marnie pointed deeper into the woods. "This way?" I pointed toward where the bunnies had scattered. "Maybe that way? Maybe the bunnies were going somewhere?" This time Mommy led the way. I followed behind with my hand in hers. Without the distraction, the constant crinkling of my diaper in the quiet forest was ever-present. The unusual thickness between my legs kept reminding me what was there. My anxiety was gone. "Bunnies like logs, don't they? There's a log over there, but there's also a little stream up ahead." And Marnie did mean little; it was barely a few inches deep, crystal clear, running over smoothly polished stones. "They could be up by the stream having something to drink?" "Uh huh! Okay." Mommy led me by the hand toward the stream. It wasn't deep. I reached down - one hand still in Mommy's - and touched the water. Cold. Then, across the small stream I saw a clearing. "Maybe the bunnies are over there? Can we go look?" "Lead the way Princess. Some of the stones are above the water, see, an—" But before she could finish that statement, Kylie had already taken off one of her shoes and was working on the sock, while hopping on her her other foot. It was precious. Mommy didn't take her shoes off. She let her boots get wet. I bet her feet got wet too. Honestly, she was so impractical! Once I was on the other side of the river, the grass felt colder than it should on an August afternoon. And there were no bunnies. But there was nothing else either. Quiet. Peace. Alone. It was kind of beautiful. Marnie’s feet got wet as she crossed the stream with Kylie’s buckled shoes in one hand. They were alone though - secluded - and this was about as wonderful a spot as Marnie could have hoped for. "Are you hungry, Smylie? Maybe we could stop here for a little break?" "Uh huh." I wasn't sure where we were going in the first place, but this seemed like a good spot to have a picnic. And even though we were outside, I wasn't sure a lonelier place existed in the city. Not a bad spot to be a total baby in the outside world, right? "Maybe the bunnies will come back or something and we can give them some food? Did you bring enough?" "I did bring some extra sandwiches, yes." Marnie set the basket down, and took out the requisite red checked blanket. "Help Mommy lay out the blanket, okay sweetie?" I helped. It was easy, and the blanket was big. I dried my feet on the grass before sitting down on the blanket, the padding beneath my bottom making itself known once more. I bit my lip and smiled shyly at Mommy. "This is kinda nice," I admitted, still talking with a babyish tinge. I didn't think I'd enjoy being Little outside. "It is nice, isn't it?" Marnie sat down and reached over to one shoulder, gingerly unsnapping the shoulder buttons on the special top she was wearing today; the kind that could open in the front to allow easy access to a maternity bra. It took me longer than I wanted to admit to figure out what Mommy was doing. Snaps on her shirt. Exposing her bra. A little clip on that. Her bare breast. And then it clicked. My eyes went wide and I surfaced from Littlespace to scream for a helicopter or something to find me. "No! WAY! Absolutely not! Big No! Are you crazy?! We are in public! You're going to get arrested! What am I going to do if you go to jail, you idiot? I'm not waiting for you to get out!" "Look around, sweetheart," Marnie kept her voice level, soothing and calm, and spoke in measured beats. The fact was, so long as she kept the door open to falling back into regression, then Kylie's indignation needed only run its course. "We're alone, we're out in the middle of nowhere. You're causing a fuss, and Mommy doesn't want to have to spank you right here when we're about to have our picnic. Now stop being a little fusspot, please, and remember that What Mommy Says Goes." What Mommy Says Goes. That rule had slipped my mind. I looked at her harshly, then around the woods. Trees. Trees. Stream. Trees. Not even the sight of a path through the gaps the trunks. Not a single person in sight. The chirping of birds. But someone could walk in at any time. We did, didn't we? "Mommy, seriously, this is crazy... this is stupid. You're acting stupid. Why? Because you want to prove a point or something? I'll do whatever you say, but don't be stupid about it!" "This is your normal, sweetheart. You're my little girl and you need to trust me to make the right choices, even if your Big Girl Brain is telling you to freak out. When I tape you into your diapers, you leave your anxieties and worries on the bedside table with your panties - they'll still be there if you want them when we get back. Until then, you're my little girl, and you'll stop fussing and start trusting. Am I clear?" Marnie was nothing if not surgical with her words. Each turn of phrase brought me closer and closer to Littlespace, and the final line sealed the deal. Just a toe in the water, that's all I was. But it was enough. "If anyone sees us, I am never trusting you again," I said quietly. And though it was hyperbole, there was serious truth to my words. "Are you sure...?" "Mommy will take care of everything." So there Kylie sat, her Mommy with her breast out, the soft picnic blanket beneath her, a diaper between her legs, about to be breastfed in the middle of the woods. Marnie pulled the pink and blue quilt out of the picnic basket and draped it over her lap, like she always did. Breastfeeding was rare. Extremely rare. Like, it had only happened a handful of times and during moments of deep self-loathing and anxiety. But now it was recreation. And outside, no less. I wanted to say no. I wanted to safe word. But... I trusted Mommy. So I took a deep breath and crawled over to her, settling myself into her lap as I had a few times before, and looked up at her smile. She could see the anxiety on my face, and she could see the embarrassment on my cheeks. "This is easy. This is natural. This is what girls your age do, sweetheart. You wear diapers, you dress adorably, you do as Mommy says. You get nursed, and you never ever think about the potty." With that, Marnie put her hand behind Kylie's head, and guided her lips onto her swollen nipple. Just like the pacifier - tucked deep in my front pocket - I started to suck on instinct. It took a moment, a short moment, before tiny droplets of liquid graced my tongue. I looked up at Mommy with anxiety in my eyes, but her soft words... her cooing... the suckling sensation... the warm, sweet liquid. Knowing what was happening. Nursing. Like an infant. The babbling of the stream. The chirping of the birds. The gentle breeze on my cheek. I let out a soft sigh and my anxious eyes fluttered closed. This was the date that Marnie had wanted. This was the moment, the personified essence of everything, this pure shared experience together, with just Marnie and Kylie. That didn’t mean she wouldn't want this with Ellie, but today was a... two person dance, with Marnie needing to be able to take the lead in the way only she could. She played her fingers through her little girl’s hair and sighed happily. Mommy hummed. I could feel it in her chest, small vibrations. A soft lullaby she would sometimes hum to get me to sleep. I felt small. Not just small in Mommy's arms, but small in the whole world. Like no mistake I could make even mattered. Like nothing really mattered all that much at all. If I was seen? So what. If Mommy was in trouble? So what. Everything would be okay, 'cause Mommy said so. It could have been a minute or an hour when Mommy pulled her nipple from my lips. I looked up with a glossy far-away look as she turned herself around, facing away from the stream. Another nipple appeared in front of me and I took it between my lips without question. I felt like ice cream in the sun. Warm. Sweet. Melted. A diaper was just a garment of clothing; breastfeeding was an experience all its own. Restricted, locked away, kept from all but the most dedicated who'd find the truth of babyhood within them. Kylie had another human being’s milk in her stomach. She was biologically as close to an infant as it was possible to be in that moment; every sip, every swallow, permanently changed her in the most insignificant way. She was special. She was Little. And for Kylie, this was one of the truest ways she could feel happy. The babbling stream took its toll on me. In my quiet, relaxed state of pure simplicity, I didn't think twice. I didn't think about where I was or what I was doing. It didn't matter. I was a little girl and Mommy would take care of it. Truthfully, even if I hadn't been in a diaper, I probably would have wet myself anyway. I just... wasn't thinking. Sooner or later, the milk stopped. I felt the nipple leave my mouth and Mommy clipping her bra back into place. Then I felt another nipple between my lips. Artificial. Pacifier. I sucked on it and sat up. The world felt brighter than I remembered. It felt... slower... "There's my happy little princess: tummy full of Mommy's milk, happy glow on your cheeks. You're just the most delightful little miss a Mommy could ask for." Kylie looked around, at the stream, at the trees, at the sky; at the squirrel by the base of the trunk, and Marnie pointed it out in case she didn't see it. I waved to the squirrel without thinking and leaned into Mommy's shoulder. It was such a peaceful day. Mommy reached into the picnic basket and tossed some bread at the squirrel. He went up to it, circled it around it, and went away. Then she took a bite of her own sandwich and played with my hair. "Love you," I muttered behind the pacifier. It was the first time I'd said it to her, but it wasn't an accident. So I said it again, just so she knew I meant it. "I love you, Mommy." There're questions in your life that you just intrinsically know how to respond - what's your name; where were you born; how old are you - questions that you answer as easily as you breathe. Conversely, there are questions, moments, encounters, where even a split second of hesitation can mean the difference between a happy ending and an awful outcome, and neither answer seems to ever be the right one the moment; did you know how fast you were going; do I look fat in these pants; is the dress blue and black or white and gold? An unexpected 'I Love You' could fall into either: it could be something with an instant response, it could be something that made you think. Marnie had seen so many relationships end, so many shortcomings exposed, so much potential wasted, over something so... simple. Something that should be reflexive! Three simple words. Or four. Marnie didn't hesitate. She didn't think, or ruminate, or waste time on what-ifs and how-abouts. The moment those four beautiful words came out of the lips of her babe, she knew exactly how she felt and how to respond. She'd been waiting to hear those words from the moment they first met, and hearing them in her beautiful muffled pacifier cadence... it was even more magical than she could have imagined. Her response flowed from her lips like water. "Momma loves you, too, Smylie. You're my little fairy princess." It wasn't hard. It wasn't contentious. It was simple, because it was true. But once she finished saying it, she was crying all the same. Tears of happiness dripped down her cheeks, because being a Big certainly didn’t make her immune to Big Feelings. We spent another hour or two in that clearing. Talking. Finding shapes in the clouds. Teasing and cuddling and being happy. She braided my hair into pigtails, entwined with flowers I picked from the edges of the stream. And when I started to get tired, we packed up and left. I wasn't anxious the whole walk home. I was waddling in a soggy diaper. My pink skirtall dress was on full display. I even sucked on my pacifier until we made it out of the woods. Mommy took it out of my mouth and tucked it into my pocket, to protect me, to keep me safe, like I knew she would. And if she hadn't tucked it away? I would have kept it in my mouth anyway. I didn't care. I was safe with her. When she closed the door behind us, late in the afternoon, I rubbed my eyes and tugged Mommy's sleeve. "Change, please..." And then maybe a nap. Yeah, a nap in Mommy's arms. That sounded just perfect. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Hot Topic definitely had overall dresses last year. I got one there! But you can also google "skirtalls" and "overall skirt" in Shopping and usually find one or two good ones. They pair very well with onesies!! ?

Chapter Sixty-Three "No dresses! Come on! That's not fair." "What Mommy says goes," Marnie reminded Kylie, holding up the ensemble. "And it's not a dress. It's a skirtall. You wear it with a shirt, or in your case a onesie. No one will see your diaper." Each word she said made it harder and harder to think clearly. Mommy. Skirtall. Onesie. Diaper. My cheeks were as pink as the skirtall. Littlespace was coming at me fast, like a train through a golden hillside. "And we'll clip your binkie clip on here, see?" Marnie proceeded to dress Kylie in the separate parts of the outfit, but Kylie was lost in her own head. Either her Little self would come out in full force, or else Kylie would storm out. Marnie was almost sure the days of the latter were over. "I can't have that on in public," I muttered, pulling on the paci clip. But Mommy reached over, tucked it into the pocket on the front of my skirtall, and it effectively disappeared from view. I bit my lip nervously. I didn't like this at all... "Couldn't we do shortalls again? Or, uh... some shorts and a shirt, that would be cute? Please?" Anxiety was still the leading player in all this; my Littlespace was struggling to overcome it. "What Mommy says goes, honey. And it's important for you to trust me here. I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you, and you know I'll kick the butts of anybody and everybody who might wanna give it a try. I'm your Mommy, and I love you very much." I would have safe worded, I swear! But she said that stupid word. Love. And I... I knew she meant it. So I let out a sigh and didn't argue any further. Mommy got my shoes on - a pair of buckle shoes that I absolutely hated! - and packed a basket. The whole process took the better part of an hour, and all the while I was staving off a panic attack. It'll be fine, Ky. Mommy's got me. I'm safe. I'm fine... If at any point along this process Kylie had dropped her safeword, Marnie would have backed down and pulled the fretful girl right on into her arms. But so far her resolve held firm and sure, even as she fretted on the couch. Marnie was going to put an end to that though; she fished for the binkie in Kylie's front pocket, because pacifiers pacify. I went to spit the pacifier out, only for Mommy to put her finger to the front of it and hold it in place. "Keep it in, princess. What Mommy says goes." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, but I kept the pacifier in all the same. It felt natural to suck on it, like I might as well if it was going to stay there. And after a minute or two, I started to feel a little better. Not a lot better, but enough so for Mommy to get everything she needed for the picnic: a basket and a diaper bag. She tugged the paci out of my lips and tucked it into the pocket on my skirtall, hiding it away. "I don't know why we can't stay in," I muttered, crossing the threshold to her front yard. It was late morning and there were a few people out and about, cutting lawns or walking dogs. Then I realized Ellie took my car. And all Marnie had was her scooter. "Wait, where are we going? How are we getting there?" "Well, there's a beautiful park I know of and the weather is so nice out. I figured we could walk together - Mommy and Baby, hand in hand." And in the middle of the morning, in an automotive-centric world? Pedestrians using the sidewalk were pretty much invisible anyhow. "We can't walk," I said sharply, probably because my anxiety spiked. I looked around the front yard again. Two people in view. And if we walked down the street, way more. And cars. And in this stupid pink dress? And what if a car blew up my skirt or something? What if someone saw? I wasn't dressed inconspicuously. I was basically a street-side billboard shouting from the heavens that I piss my diapers for fun. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This made for a good test, a good measuring stick, of how far Marnie could push and in which directions. Did she die on this hill, or take her licks and keep her strength for the battles to come? "We can call an Uber if you’d prefer, but I was going to cut across the vacant lot and take us right onto the walking trial, away from the road. What Mommy says goes, right?" I looked up at her with a bit of panic. But she took my hand in hers and kissed my fingers. Gentle. Nice. I nodded my head and forced my feet forward. We walked across the street. Any time a car would go by, I would switch sides so I could hide behind Mommy. Any time a passerby approached, we took a different path. By the time we got to the trail through the woods - a walker's path that was destined to get some use - I felt exhausted. Littlespace was the furthest thing from my mind. But we were alone, temporarily. That brought an ounce of relief. Once it was just the two of them, Marnie put all the tools at her disposal to good use. She held her baby girl tight by the hand, she pointed out things that were pretty - there were some particularly lovely flowers blooming. And she talked, a lot. "Maybe Mommy will get you a scrapbook, and we can do pressed flowers together? Or we could look for pretty birds, wouldn't that be nice?" "Uh huh..." It was an uphill battle, but Mommy was doing a good job at it. Tiny vestiges of Littleness would trickle through when she would tease me or talk down to me, but it was temporary. Once or twice we saw a jogger, and Mommy would walk me off the path so they could pass. I never looked up at them. I closed my eyes and let her lead me by the hand, pretending I was literally anywhere else. "Oh, oh, look! Look, Princess, look!" Just off to the side of the path, up ahead, there were two bunnies; a brown one and a white one. They were just sitting there, as cute as could be. "Shh, shh, I bet if we're quiet they'll let us get close, do you wanna get close? What do you think their names are?" "I... um. I dunno..." Sure enough, there were two little bunnies. But as we got a little closer, they were actually quite big. We both stood behind one of the trees and watched one eat a twig or a blade of grass or something. His little nose twitched and it made me smile. They really were cute... "Hey, I think the littler one is maybe the daughter. What do you think? Do you think her name could be Brenda?" In bedtime stories, Marnie would always use bad names, just because Kylie liked to get huffy and puffy and tell her how bad that name would be. And, like clockwork, Kylie would insist on an alternative. "Ew, what? No. It's a bunny! You can't name a bunny Brenda." I puffed out my cheeks in annoyance and took a few steps closer. They were only two or three feet away now, facing off into the distance. But as I stepped on a twig, they both looked at me. I froze. They froze. Then they went back to eating, eyes on me. I paused and reached for Mommy's hand. Huh... "I think she looks like a Cassie. And the mom is Leslie. See her ears? They look like Leslie ears." That made perfect sense to me. There we go - all it took was some bunny-branded magic for the wheels to start free-spinning. Marnie couldn't help but smile as Kylie explained it all to her. Leslie Ears. Mhm. "Are they on a royal outing, do you think? Is Cassie a Princess? Like you are?" Quiet tones. "I dunno... they don't have crowns." "They could be in disguise," Mommy offered. I nodded along like that made perfect sense. Then one of the bunnies bounded forward a ways and the other followed. I used that opportunity to take a few more steps into the clearing, past the line of trees and off the walking path. I approached them again, but they hopped a few more times toward the woods. Then they waited. I tilted my head and looked back for Mommy. "They're moving really slow for bunnies." "Maybe they know it's hard for a girl your age to run in a diaper, so they're waiting for you to catch up?" It was progress for Marnie to be able to even say the word diaper in public, but the two of them were alone and isolated. It was as good a time as any to have dropped that word. I looked back at Mommy and puffed out my cheeks. She didn't have to go and say that! But when I turned around, I only caught a glimpse of the rabbits jumping into the woods. "Oh, hey! Come back!" I hurried to the tree line, but Mommy was right. Running in a diaper was... well, uncomfortable was one word. Impractical was another. Though embarrassing might be the most correct. I poked my head around a tree and saw them waiting in the leaves. So I followed them. Kylie was a half dozen steps behind the bunnies - Cassie and Leslie - and Marnie stayed a few steps behind her. How far would they follow them? Who knew? Who cared? Kylie's head was underwater now, dropped in the ocean of Littleness. We stopped somewhere in the middle of the woods. The bunnies seemed comfortable and I managed to get a few steps closer. One. Two. Three. Pause. They looked up at me, but they didn't seem to care. I slowly slid down to my knees and leaned all the way forward, so the bunnies and I were at eye level. They couldn't have been more than a foot away. I could see every whisker on their little noses. "Hi," I said quietly. "I'm Kylie. I hope I'm not bothering you." If the bunnies could have talked, they almost definitely would have reassured Kylie - Marnie was sure of it - because they didn't seem at all disturbed by her presence. They stared silently, their noses twitching. "Do you like it in the woods? You can come home with me if you wanna. But my apartment is pretty small, 'cause I live alone. But if you stop by we can hang out or something? I could give you my address. Bunnies probably don't have addresses, huh? And I'm on the other side of town, so..." They just stared at me. Could they understand me? I always hoped animals understood me. Kylie stayed on her hands and knees, her bottom high in the air and her diaper on display. Quietly, Marnie took a couple pictures. After all this was over, she would show Kylie and make sure they were okay for her to keep. They had made a deal many months ago regarding photos in Littlespace: Kylie had complete control. One of the bunnies unexpectedly hopped in my direction. I jumped back in surprise and almost fell over. In the commotion, the bunnies both took off into the woods. I let out a sigh and looked up at Mommy, putting my hand out for her to help me up. "They were nice." ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Sixty-Two Marnie and Ellie returned to the living room and I looked up for only a moment. Ellie was in her day clothes. Cute. Stylish. Sexy? Jeeze. I pulled my knees to my chest and looked back at the TV with pink cheeks. "Kylie, your friend is leaving. Do you wanna say goodbye?" "Bye," I waved, avoiding eye contact. I waved with a little smile and tilted my head thoughtfully to the side, trying to decide if I should say anything more. Nope. I decided not to. Once the door was closed, Marnie sat down on the sofa next to her little one and took a deep breath. "Everything okay?" "Yeah..." I sighed, leaning into her. "She's just... ugh, I don't know. Cute." Not the right word. Sexy was the right word. But I was feeling Little and that word wasn't congruent. Another blush filled my cheeks. "Attractive?" Marnie offered, running her fingers up the back of Kylie's neck, to gently caress the nape of her hairline. I shrugged my shoulders. I'd spent a lot of Littlespace with Marnie and none of them were tainted by such... mature feelings. I had even breastfed for God's sake! And I loved boobs, I truly did. But Ellie... "Last night, she was so cute. Err... attractive. And she had her nightgown, and she crinkled when she moved, and it was charming, and... do you think she's bad for my Littlespace?" "Do you?" Marnie asked in response, tangling her fingers in the girls hair. "Do you think it's possible that you have a puppy love schoolyard crush on her when you're Little, which is separate from the deeper physical and romantic attraction you have to her when you're big?" "I dunno..." I thought back to all those other times she was around. Even the first time we were here, when Marnie dressed her in my nightgown. I couldn't even look at her, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her either. How could that be? "I feel it stronger when I'm Little... I see her and it's like a million waves crashing into each other. And when I'm big, I feel like I can fake it." "Those kinds of feelings... those are pretty big feelings for a little girl to have. But at the same time, that's not saying it's automatically unhealthy either, Smylie. Maybe you should act on impulse, do what comes to mind immediately when you're Little. Don’t overthink it, don’t analyze it. You're at that point with her, after all." "Sounds dangerous," I muttered under my breath. "Very dangerous." I would do something stupid. I would do something completely not Little. An unabridged Kylie, without consequences? No, that was a bad idea... "Why is it dangerous? Littleness is an opportunity to be innocent, yes. To be doted over, yes. To forget your worries, yes. But it's just as easy a venue to explore things without consequence. To finger paint on the walls, or to throw a candy bar in the cart, or have frosting for dinner." "Or to kiss your best friend in the middle of the night," I sighed. "Or to move your fingers up her nightgown, or to..." To let him fuck me and then let him leave me? No, I was talking about Ellie... "Or to boop her on the nose, or tickle her until she wets her diaper, or to dress her up just to have the memory of it. You get in your own way so much; I'm just saying it might be nice for you to get to feel what it's like when you don’t. And you have a good resource for that in being little." "A loophole. A way to get around the way I am so I can just enjoy something without needing to protect myself. But I'm the way I am for a reason, right?" I remembered something late at night a few weeks back, when I was exhausted and telling Marnie a story about a prince and a peasant. I told her that I felt like I was holding a cliff, and someone was reaching out to grab me. If I could just let the cliff go and grab for that hand, I'd be fine. I knew I would be fine. But I still couldn't let go. If I was little, could I reach out for her? Did I even want to be saved? "I'll fight off your demons for you because I'm a Mom and Mom's are tough." Kylie visibly recoiled at her words. It took Marnie a minute to realize why. Mom and Mommy were pretty different, especially to Kylie. "Let's just play, okay?" I faked a smile. "It's your day. You've been waiting a long time for this." Marnie couldn't be perfect all the time, and she was the type to learn from her missteps, not drown herself in self pity. She got back into the groove of things immediately. "I'd argue that you being a grown up is the playing side, and my Baby Smylie is who you truly are. So let’s set you free~" "That's sappy," I laughed, wiping my face. I wasn't crying, but tears were piling up in my eyes. "I mean it, Marnie." Wow, I must be miles outside Littlespace to use her name. "Today means a lot to you. It means a lot to me." "Well, all you only need faith, trust, a bit of pixie dust, and One Sappy Thought. That’s how you fly into Littlespace, right? That's how that goes?" Marnie ran her hands up Kylie's sides and tickled her, laughing along the way. Some things about Marnie were impossible to argue with. Even on my worst of days, I could find her charming. There was just something about her, something magnetic. I felt all the fear and anxiety wash away like driftwood into the misty sea. "Nighttime rules?" Marnie asked with a smile. But I shook my head. "Daytime rules..?" "New rules." "New rules?" Marnie raised an eyebrow, curiously, because this development was a surprise to her. Typically, she set the rules and Kylie would negotiate and banter back and forth some. This was unexpected. "I trust you," I said flatly, with certainty. We had this conversation once before already. She was my Mommy now. I was her Little. It wasn't the same reaching out and grabbing her hand on the side of a cliff, but it was closer than I had ever come before. "So, there's only one rule. What Mommy says goes." I wanted to add a few more stipulations. No sex. No pain. But if I added stipulations, it would undermine the trust I put in her. No other rules. "I still have my safe word, if I need it." Big Stop. "You know that I'm going to push you, right?" Every step of ground gained in this relationship had been at great effort, where Marnie slowly invested her time and energy into agonizing baby steps. For Kylie to give her full judgment to make decisions like that... well, it was a dream come true! I nodded my head. I had some expectations of what Marnie wanted in a relationship with me. Things she had asked me about in the past, things I shot down at every turn. But she was my Mommy. I wanted this. I wanted to give her everything just like she gave me. "What Mommy says goes," I repeated, as sure of myself as I could be. Marnie pulled Kylie up into her lap and wrapped her up in about the tightest hug she could muster, because those words, those four words, they felt like winning the lottery! And that was a pretty wonderful start to the day. "Mommy wants to take you to the park for a picnic, sweetheart. I'm going to pick you out some clothes to go with your padding." "Starting strong, aren't we?" I pouted. A week ago, I would have said no to this. An exception was going outside, obviously. Safe word, instantly. But yesterday proved that I didn't have as much to worry about as I thought. So with a deep sigh I forced a smile and nodded my head. I better not regret this... "Mommy's gonna bring her A game for her A+ Little Girl." Her head was swirling with outfit ideas, with potential! She knew it would be something pink, because pink was one of her favorite colors to see Kylie dressed in, and she knew right away that the park would be the one down by the creek, behind the trees. It had lots of grass, plenty of space to play, and - most importantly - solitude. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Sixty-One "Now what?" I asked Marnie, kicking my feet and sipping coffee at her dining table. I got up long before Ellie, so that I could catch Marnie in the kitchen on her own and explain last night. But Ellie could wake up at any time. To make matters worse, the wet diaper between my legs kept dragging me a little bit toward Littlespace, even though I was trying to have a big girl conversation. "I don't want to date her. I don't wanna date anybody..." "You don't want to date her, but you're into her. You have a crush on her. You know you're compatible with her, and that she's in this for the long term?" Marnie was steeping tea in a fancy little metal teapot. "Yeah," I sighed, putting my head on the table. It didn't make sense. I was all caught up about something that happened a decade ago, and it wasn't the least bit relevant to today. Ellie wasn't like him. Ellie wasn't like anyone... "Is something wrong with me? Am I broken or something?" "Well, no, I don't think so. But you definitely have something getting in the way of you being happy. The good news, my dear, is that the thing in your way is you, and that's something we have full control over." We. Marnie was a we kind of problem solver. "I'm scared," I admitted without raising my head. "People start dating and then they break up and then they hate each other or something. If I lose Ellie, I... I don't..." I was going to throw up. I took another sip of coffee to settle my stomach. I hated coffee. "People who have nothing before they start dating go back to having nothing if things don't work out. That's the nature of the relationship; there's no foundation. Then people use it as a reason not to date people they do have a foundation with. Isn't that just silly?" Marnie had a point. But people change; I was beginning to learn that the hard way. What if this was another change my friendship couldn't handle? "I liked kissing her... I want to keep kissing her. Can I kiss her without dating her? I feel like I'm leading her on or something... like there's a promise at the end of the road I won't be able to keep." "Maybe? Maybe you can keep kissing her, maybe that'll be okay. If that's the step you think that you can handle right now, then that's what you should do. Baby steps for a baby girl. Maybe one day, when you're kissing, you'll think about something else you want to do with her. Maybe things will just develop that way? Not everything needs to be planned out, given a name, a label, a power. Sometimes things can just grow organically." "You think so?" I thought about last night, when Ellie said she wasn't asking me on a date. Just to kiss. And we just kissed and we didn't date. It came and it went and it was good. Easy. Could everything else be easy too? "I mean, maybe? I think anything can work, just so long as you're on the same page together. That girl, though..." Marnie thoughtfully sipped her tea, giving that thought a moment to brew the way that the leaves had. "She's going to tell you she's okay with things that she isn't, because she's vulnerable right now; she's afraid in this transitionary period that she's going to lose everything. So you're going to need to work just a bit harder at making sure you are on the same page as she is." "Yeah..." I didn't think about that. This was why I had Marnie around, so she could remind me of all the things I was likely to forget. I finished my coffee and smiled up at her, kicking my feet. "Mommy, I need a change." "Oh, you do, huh?" Marnie smiled crookedly and sipped at her tea. "Alright, pumpkin, let's get you changed." Mommy changed me in her room. A fresh diaper, but the same onesie I wore to bed. When Ellie woke up, Mommy would get me ready for the day. A day alone with her. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. * * * * * I wasn't halfway into an episode of my cartoons when Ellie appeared in the hall, rubbing her eyes. I looked up just for a moment and then back at the television. She would have to go home sooner or later. I plopped myself down on the floor - not even on the sofa where Kylie was sitting - and put my head against her thigh sleepily with a little yawn. Not a word. Just a moment of happy serenity, before the day had the chance to make things anything but sweet. Kylie smelled like baby powder. She was cute, even with her hair a mess, even without her makeup. I was beginning to wonder how I ever saw Ellie as a boy. I must have been stupid, huh? I reached down and almost put my hand in her hair. Then I hesitated. No... I wanted to do this. Let it be easy, like Mommy said. Natural. So I rested my hand softly on her head and played with her hair. My heart was racing... I sighed happily, just a content little puff of air past my lips, and pressed my head just the littlest bit gently firmer against her thigh in approval. It was nice. Had anybody played with my hair before, other than Marnie? Maybe not like this. "Hey Ellie, come here a sec." Mommy had walked into the room and I watched her approach. Ellie climbed to her feet, and stopped just inside Mommy's reach, where she slid her hand under the hem of Ellie's onesie and into the legband of her diaper. Ellie visibly jumped and I tried not to laugh. Diaper checks were always weird at first. Well, that was unexpected. I had to be the color of strawberries, and it only got worse! "Well well, aren't you a heavy wetter, little miss? It’s a wonder this diaper didn't leak everywhere; you're definitely going to need thicker nighttime padding from now on." I wasn't even sure what all that meant! I thought I was just doing the right thing, omg. Marnie took Ellie by the hand and led her back to the bedroom. I returned to my TV show. * * * * * "Did you have a fun night?" Marnie asked Ellie as she untaped the diaper around her hips. The two were alone and Marnie couldn't help but wonder if Ellie would bring up the kiss. Then again, maybe it was a secret. "I think so, uh huh. Kylie and I kissed. It was nice. I don't know much about like um... what that means for us? But we kissed before, and it was okay? But I don't know. It was nice. Kylie has soft lips. And then I wonder, like, are my lips as soft as hers? It's not as though I can kiss myself to check…" Marnie laughed a little to herself and ran a wipe between Ellie's legs. She had zero issue with the whole "anatomy" thing of a boy or a girl. Gender wasn't biological, and she had done her fair share of diaper changes. "Well, just be honest with how you feel and I'm sure everything will work out. Don't hide things from her." "Oh, you know me, Mommy." Was it okay to be calling her that so casually? I mean, she was changing my diaper, right? Sure. Let's go with sure. "I'm the queen of being straight forward and emotive with my feelings. Oh, by the way, I'm lying my butt off when I say that." "I know it," Marnie joked. "Speaking of which..." Marnie hadn't brought it up yet, because Ellie had a lot going on in her life. But maybe some stability would help her? Or was she acting selfishly? "You are getting quite comfortable calling me Mommy. Which I am adoring, by the way. But it can also be a very special word. I know we are friends, but if you want our play time to be more serious - something like what Kylie and I have - just tell me and I'll make it happen." "I have no idea what that means," I admitted, and my expression turned curious. "Is there a rule I broke? Is 'Mommy' more of a you and Ky thing?" Now I was feeling fretful. Nuts. "No, no. It's not like that. It's just..." Wow, explaining Little stuff to newbies was way harder than she expected. Marnie struggled with Ky the first few times as well. "It's like dating. Not sexual or romantic dating, but platonic dating. A commitment to each other, that I will take care of you and you'll let me. A lot of people use words like "Mommy" to describe that kind of relationship. But if you would rather just be friends - with a few perks - and still call me "Mommy", I'm okay with that too. I think I'm asking: what do I mean to you?" "I don't really understand the difference..." And it was pretty clear from my tone of voice that I felt a little lost on the whole topic. What were we now? I don't know there really was a ‘we’, actually! I was so busy trying to figure out things with Kylie, I didn't even know where to begin with Marnie.. Marnie nodded her head and went to the dresser. She got Ellie a clean skirt and blouse - ones they had bought together earlier that week - and a pair of Ellie's very soft and very expensive panties. She formulated some words as she helped get Ellie dressed, with all the gentleness of a mother. "Well. I'd like to believe we are friends. So let's start there. But we also do things some friends wouldn't do, right? Like how I dress you?" When she was done, she sat beside Ellie on the bed with a soft smile. "I suppose I see the distinction. Well, what does that make us? And how does Kylie feel about it? I don't wanna step on her toes. I already kind of feel like I'm moving in on her 'stylish lesbian' turf, so I don't want her to feel..." What was a good word here? "Put out?" "From my understanding - and I would confirm with her of course - but she doesn't seem to mind." Kylie could be a jealous, possessive child at times, but those things didn't seem to apply to Ellie. "This isn't about Kylie, though. It's about us, assuming there is an us. Or am I just Kylie's friend to you?" She wasn't catty. She wasn't accusatory. She honestly wanted to know. Since Ellie came out, Marnie and her spent a lot of time together. But maybe Ellie's perception of things was different. "Mmm...I mean, you're pretty much the whole reason I figured out all this about who I am. So saying 'you're just Kylie's friend' is almost... no, not almost, it's absolutely insulting to the work you put into me. So..." What was I trying to say here? "I think you're my Mommy." "Don't worry about insulting me," Marnie laughed, brushing Ellie's bangs off her forehead. She was better at playing with hair than Kylie was. She was almost a professional, like she could get a degree in hair-playing. "We can be Kylie's friends, or friends ourselves, or something more committed. But I want your honest thoughts. There's nothing you can say that will upset me." "Well, you say that, but that's not really true, because you want an answer to this question and I don't really have one. Labeling things makes me uncomfortable, I guess? Which is weird, because labels on clothes put my mind at ease." Why was I so averse to just giving her a straight answer? "Hm." Marnie nodded her head in understanding. She had given Kylie similar advice this morning, and it made sense for the both of them. Labels had caused them each their share of unhappiness, and now they were learning to overcome that. "Well, then we won't put a label on it," Marnie said brightly. "But I do hope you think of me as a friend, at least. And know that you can always come to me with a problem." "I can promise you that I consider you at least my friend, and even that seems to be a shallow word. Precisely five people have ever seen me naked, and two of those are my parents, and one of them is you. So... yeah, I think we're pretty dang close, Mommy." Marnie leaned in and kissed Ellie on the forehead, then held her close for a moment. Kylie would get worried if she took too much longer. "Kylie and I have a day planned," Marnie explained. "You can take Kylie's car and I'll drop her off tomorrow, okay? But I'll make you some breakfast first." "It’s okay, I've eaten a lot already. I think I'm gonna take it easy on the food stuff today. I really really appreciate it, though!" And I did, genuinely. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

I think this is the first time she's ever worn a diaper in public before? I'd be afraid to use it too. XD

Chapter Sixty "Mm..." "Come on, Smylie. Up you get." "Mmmm..." I felt a rush of the cold night air and an ache around my thighs. Then I was pressed up against something. I opened my eyes in the blurry darkness and noticed I was moving. Carried. I looked down at Marnie, who was holding me under my diapered butt. I put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes again. Sleepy... It was always strange to me to see Marnie carrying another grown woman, but she was pretty strong and it showed. Kylie was also pretty thin, too. I was relegated to awkwardly following the two of them, wincing with every step I took in the wet diaper. At least this time I wasn't terrified of it spilling out everywhere; it really had gotten easier. We went up to Marnie's house, and I followed after her and Kylie. I think I fell asleep again. My back hit something soft and I opened my eyes. Glow in the dark stars. My bedroom. I turned to roll over and pull the covers over me, but Mommy's hands were quick to bring me back to the foot of the bed. I heard the little clasps on my shortalls as she unbuckled them and then my bottom was lifted high in the air by my ankles. No more shortalls. I rubbed my eyes and tried to wake up a little bit. "Mmm.. what's up.." "Nothing at all, Smylie. Mommy's just getting your diaper changed so you can get a good night sleep with your pretty pajamas and your pretty little sister. You just close your eyes and relax, sweetheart; Mommy's gonna take care of everything." "Mmm.. okay..." I closed my eyes and relaxed. I felt Mommy's hands brush against my thighs as she unsnapped my onesie, then helped me sit up just long enough to pull it off over my head. I think she took my bra off next? My nipples were cold... After that, I think I drifted off again. I sat on the edge of the bed as Mommy changed my sister’s diaper, dressed her in a nightgown, and manipulated her like she was naught but a doll. I felt both warm and welcome, and also like I was an outsider looking in. It was so hard to describe, really. Marnie was everything Kylie might ever want in a partner; was my crush even worth having? When Marnie was done with Kylie, she changed me into a dry diaper. She hummed a quiet lullaby while she did it and for the first time I realized how sleepy I really was. In a way, it was nice to have someone get me ready for bed; I didn’t have to do it myself. I felt a kiss on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Mommy high above me. Ellie was on one side of me and the bedrail was on the other. I felt warm. Dry, too. She must have changed me. Mommy said goodnight and put Ellie - the elephant, not the girl - in my arms. She turned out the lights and I rolled over on my side. I reached out to find my best friend. I put my arm over her, an Ellie on either side, and let myself breathe in the moment, the calm serenity of it all. Her heartbeat. Mine. The faint sound of crinkling as either of us moved even a little. The scent of powder. It was a perfect moment. I was pressed close to her. Our foreheads touched, my leg between hers. I could feel the plastic of her diaper against my thigh. My arm over her, and her arm over me. I felt so safe, with the bed rails up. I felt safe with her. "Hey, Ellie... are you up?" "Uh huh." My eyes were closed, but I was awake in that blissful not-quite awake that came with moments like this. I didn't want to disturb things. The room was so still and quiet. There were no lights other than the glow-in-the-dark stars above us. Just us, in the silent dark. But... sometimes things change. Sometimes for the better. I mean, if they didn't, I'd still be in a wet diaper, right? "The past few weeks have been... unbelievable. I mean that literally, you know? I never thought I'd be here. I never thought you'd be here. I never thought we'd be here, where you're a girl and we're both dressed like babies. I just... didn't... see this coming." "I can safely say that I didn't either," I smiled in the dim darkness, but my tone of voice was nothing if not serene. "It's crazy how life works out sometimes." "The weird thing is, I'm kinda happy now. Happier than I used to be, I think. You know?" She didn't answer, but I think she knew. "Anyway, I... I wouldn't be here if I didn't trust Marnie. I wouldn't even be here if I didn't trust you. So I... uh. I want to be more honest with you." "I'd like that. Honesty is pretty important," I agreed with her, a little more awake now due to the tone of the conversation, but I kept my eyes closed. Welp. Here goes nothing. "I think I have a crush on you. Which is sort of stupid, since we've been friends for a million years. But now you're a girl. Or, I guess you always were, but now I know you are. Something like that?" Okay, avoid the trans issues, Ky. You're just going to sound like a douche. "Either way, I've been... seeing you differently. And feeling differently. And... I dunno. I still don't date people. I don't want to date. I just wanted to tell you..." "That’s cool…" I opened my eyes. I didn't know where to take it from here. I wanted to kiss her. But was that the right move? Maybe not. But I could ask. "I wanna kiss you." "I don't date," I repeated, but not like I usually said it. Not sharp or confident. Not snippy or irritated. I almost sounded sad about it. I felt sad about it. "...but I want to kiss you too." "That's good, because I didn't ask you on a date, did I?" I kissed her. Not a stolen kiss. Not a kiss under the influence. Not a kiss out of pity, or a consolation prize. A kiss because it was what we both wanted. I pulled her closer to me, my leg further between hers, my arms further around her, my lips touching hers. It wasn't magical or fireworks or anything. It was soft and simple and easy. It felt like a quiet night in a room of glow-in-the-dark stars. And I loved it. When the kiss ended, I put my forehead to hers again. Was this a mistake? Did I just screw everything up? But I was honest. I told her the truth. That can't be bad, right? "...what now?" "Now we fall asleep in each others arms, in diapers, dressed like babies, and we wake up tomorrow knowing that we're sisters who kiss now." I didn't have all the answers, but I tried to give her something - her honesty had to be hard for her. Sisters that kiss. Great. Now we were even weirder than before. But it was simple. No figuring things out. No working through problems or feelings. Simple. Do and feel and don't think. I could do that. I was good at that. "Goodnight, Ellie," I whispered and closed my eyes. "Goodnight, Kylie." I closed my eyes again and went to sleep. Today was a good day. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Fifty-Nine "Um... I want... this one, I think." I pointed to a little box with a remote-controlled train made for our tracks on it, in cheerful designs and primary colors. "I like the trains that Mommy already has, but I think it would just be SO COOL to be able to build our tracks and watch the trains go on their own sometimes, ‘cause make believe is fun but real believe is fun too." "Uh huh." I was impatient. I wanted to find the magnet tiles. But Ellie wanted to look at the trains. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and shifted from foot to foot. "I like the remote one; get that one." "Um, but! But! Look at this one, Mommy doesn't have a lot of bridges, and this one has two, and a boat, too, and..." I gasped sharply, brightly, and picked up the box. "Look!! There's a thingy where... the boat, and the track, look? See?" I pointed jubilantly. I let out an audible whine. "Then get both! You can have two toys, remember?" Though both the train toys were quite a bit more expensive than the two I had in my hands. I wasn't even thinking about money. "Hurry up or the store's gonna close!" "Um, um! Okay, um..." I picked up both. And the bridge box was pretty heavy, and unwieldy, too, but I managed to balance it under my arm and held the remote train in my hand. Kylie took my other hand in hers and led me further into the toy store. Gosh. I stared at the magnet tiles with a bit of uncertainty. Then I stared at the doll dress in one hand and the Lego set in the other. I could build the Legos. Lots of fun. But I could build the magnet tiles too, and that's fun too. But dressing my dolly is fun too. And my doll I could watch movies with, and I can't do that with Legos. But does my dolly need a new dress? I haven't played with her a lot recently. I like building things... I rubbed my eyes with the back of one hand. My excess energy had clearly fizzled out. Despite my obvious exhaustion, I was still rocking from foot to foot. Anyone could tell I had to pee. "Umm..." One. Two. Three. I counted them with my fingers, pointing at each item she was considering. "You got too many," I pointed out, nodding. And it took her a moment to focus on what I said, which made me realize just how drastically she was rocking from foot to foot. I tilted my head curiously. I turned to Mommy. "Can I have three?" "Certainly not." "Pleeeeeaaaase?" I rubbed my eyes again. Maybe this was a logic puzzle, like in school. "You can get one? You can get this one." I handed Mommy the Lego set. "And when we get home I can play with it, okay? But it can be yours." Marnie actually smirked at that one, but when she took the Lego package from her little one, she placed it thusly on the shelf. "You can get it next time, honey; Mommy is already letting you have two, and that's plenty. Would you prefer one, instead?" "I could just get one?" I suggested, thoughtfully, and Marnie shook her head. "Two each, you two." Kylie whined and stomped her foot on the tile floor of the toy store. Actually, Marnie was surprised how childish she was truly acting. But all that sugar from earlier was bound to have some negative side-effects. Marnie grabbed the magnet tiles off the shelf and led Kylie by the hand toward the checkout. "...this is stupid... I can buy it myself... I have money, can just buy it myself..." "Honey, no more fussing. If you have a temper tantrum in the toy store, then Mommy won't buy you anything. You're setting a bad example for your sister." Hearing my name, or rather my title, I looked up curiously with a smile from the focus I'd kept on my train stuff. I tilted my head curiously and quickened my pace to keep up. Did Kylie need to pee? Was that why she was walking weird? By the time we got to the front of the store, I was over it. I mean, I didn't care that much, but in the moment it felt like it was the end of the world. I rubbed my eyes with my free hand and clung to Mommy's shirt, shifting side to side. Okay, really had to use the bathroom now. I tugged a little on her shirt until she turned to face me. I whispered so only she could hear. "Bathroom, please?" "Bathroom?" Marnie looked confused for a moment and then ruffled her little girl’s hair, smiling with an amused and befuddled look on her face. "You're wearing it, pumpkin. No need to put your pretty tush on some icky public bathroom seat. You do your business; Mommy has supplies for changing you." Now, admittedly, there was nobody in earshot to hear that, but even my cheeks were red, hearing Marnie say that to Kylie in public! I stood there incredulously, my face as red as a tomato. She... she can't say that to me! Not in a toy store! But after a kiss on the forehead, she went ahead to the checkout and I hurried behind her. I wanted to say something. Maybe demand to use the toilet? Or admonish her for talking to me like that? But I couldn't seem to build up the courage. Then we rounded the corner and got in line. I definitely couldn't argue now, could I? Kylie bit her lip and crossed her arms, and I figured maybe if I held out my hand she could take it and feel better? I was right, at least; she did need to pee! I mean. Wetting a diaper was... weird, I guess, but Marnie liked it when we did it. So it wasn't that big a deal, right? I shifted from foot to foot as the line dwindled. I wanted to just storm off and find the bathroom. She couldn't stop me, right? But if I did, then maybe she wouldn't let me get my toys. I could hold it... I'd be fine... We got to the checkout counter and I waited quietly while Mommy and the checkout woman had a conversation about sales. Then, after she paid, I was the first one out the door. In the car, in the car, in the car. Ugh, it was locked. "Why are you in such a hurry?" Marnie asked after Kylie, with a bemused look on her face, but Kylie didn't answer - she looked pretty defeated when she got to the car. I used the moment alone with Marnie to ask her something. "Would it help her if I actually wet myself? I probably could... if you think it would help? And nobody else is around." "You don't worry about your sister - she has to figure things out on her own. How about you worry about you instead?" Notably, Ellie wasn't doing a potty dance in the parking lot. I waited by the door to my own car, shifting side to side. I couldn't wait until we got home. Maybe I could just wait until we got in the car? But Mommy opened up the trunk and started putting the toys in. I was too uncomfortable. I didn't want to wait. I didn't care if we were outside - no one was around anyway! Just Ellie and Mommy. And they'd seen me wet myself before, right? So... so fine! I let go. As my diaper filled between my legs, my cheeks filled with a blush. I looked at my feet, at the shortalls, at the black onesie I was wearing underneath. I thought I would feel upset. Angry or ashamed or pathetic, like I did the first time I wet my diaper. But I'd come a long way since then. When I was done, when the diaper was warm and swollen, I felt... relieved. Mommy unlocked the car and I slid in, squishing in the seat. If my red face didn't give away what I'd done, wincing as I sat down probably did. Ellie sat down next to me and looked at me with a knowing look. "Not a word," I muttered. I took my hand, held it up in front of her, formed a fist, and then subsequently put my thumb between my lips. A deal signed and sealed between two not-siblings: not a word. * * * * * I wasn't sure what it was. Maybe the day was too long. Maybe using my diaper took more out of me than I thought. But as Mommy started driving home, I rested my head against the corner of the back seat and drifted off to sleep. "Not such a bad day, hm?" Marnie said to Ellie, talking quiet enough that it wouldn't wake Kylie over the hum of the car. "It's always a good day when we hang out, Mommy." I wasn't feeling Little anymore, not since maybe we left the toy store and I got all up in my own head. But I knew she liked it when I addressed her like that, and it was the least I could offer. "I know sometimes all this little girl stuff is strange," Marnie said, almost to herself instead of Ellie. "But I really do appreciate all you two do for me. And everything I can do for you. I truly love both of you." The first time Marnie said that to Kylie, it was a big deal. Kylie's mom never said stuff like that. That's why Marnie made it a point to say it as often as she thought Kylie could handle. "I'm worried I'm a distraction to her, like I don't help her feel Little, like I make it harder maybe?" I looked at my pruned up thumb from where I'd been sucking on it, and then at Kylie who was sleeping soundly. "Yeah, I thought that might be the case as well," Marnie admitted. "But I think it's Kylie that keeps herself from feeling Little, and distractions like you are helpful. I can safely say you haven't made it any harder on me." Then Marnie thought to bring something else up. Something more... Ellie-focused. "What about you? Do you get into that headspace? There are times where I'm sure I see it on your face, but I'd rather not presume." "I mean, I think so? I don't know, maybe? I don't really have a point of reference to compare to. In the toystore, deliberating over trains and stuff? That felt very freeing, so maybe like that? It's a bit like a runaway train, and I'm not sure if that’s feeling Little or not." "Well, you keep thinking on that. I'm just glad you're having a good time. When we get back to the house, I'm going to get your sister changed for bed. If I check you and you're still dry, you'll be in that diaper until morning." It was a courtesy warning. Ellie would have to get used to sitting in a wet diaper sooner or later, but this didn't have to be that moment. "I guess getting home and using the bathroom isn't an option, huh?" Marnie smiled, and even though I couldn't see it to its full extent, I knew how amused she was by the question. It just made sense to me to pee now, and not risk peeing a half hour after laying down and then have to wait until morning. So I closed my eyes and sighed, and made sure my diaper wasn't dry by the time we got home. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Fifty-Eight I felt like I was wearing a 'Kick Me' sign or something. Like everyone was staring at me. Like they could tell I was waddling or they could hear me crinkling. Like the first thought someone might have is 'that adult woman is wearing a diaper because she likes to be a little baby sometimes'. But I only garnered a few cursory glances if I walked too close to someone. I finally paused beside the buffet and let out a sigh. Caring so much sure was exhausting. Then I saw Ellie standing by one of the tables with an empty tray in her hand. She didn't look like she was wearing a diaper at all! I walked over to her, doing my best not to waddle. "What's up?" "They say that it's an All You Can Eat Buffet, right? Well. I have All I Can Eat." I nodded down at the empty tray in my hand with a forced smile. There was a salad that didn't look awful, but there were so many smells, colors, concepts, categories, people - it was pretty overwhelming. And that wasn't even accounting for the fact that I felt very much like an awkward boy in a dress. "Voice," I reminded her. I looked at her tray, then at the room full of food. She didn't like to eat. I still didn't understand that. Food was the only good reason to be an adult. But yelling at her probably wouldn't help, and I was already rather compromised. "Listen, buffets are like... a sample platter. You can get one of everything, take a bite, and throw away anything you don't like. So, if you're worried about eating too much, just take one bite of all the stuff that looks good." Was that good advice? Who knows. I had bigger things to worry about. I ventured forward, careful with my steps, and grabbed myself a tray. "Hold my hand?" I didn't know if that was coming from the part of me that was worried about being a baby, the part of me that was worried about being a girl, the part of me that was worried about eating, or the part of me that very much had a crush on Kylie. All of the above, probably. Hold hands? With a girl? In a buffet? Yeah, that wouldn't attract attention. That wouldn't have people looking a little too closely at us. They definitely wouldn't hear our crinkling and call us out for wearing diapers. The whole restaurant wouldn't laugh at us. Right? But Ellie looked scared. Or nervous, or something. She looked... like she needed me. So I took a deep breath and nodded my head. If this went poorly, I would never trust Marnie again! I took Ellie's hand and led her to the buffet. This was better. Obviously the logical part of my brain (the part I switched off when buying clothes or being Little,) knew full well that this would only draw more attention. But! In my defense, I also felt like this split the attention between the two of us and that felt safer? Maybe? "What's that?" I'd ask questions as we perused the buffet tables. Mostly that question, about any piece of food that looked unusual to me. And then it would often be followed with: "Is it good?" "How have you never had sweet and sour chicken before?" I put a few pieces on her plate after putting a whole lot of it on mine. Then we moved onto biscuits and french fries and mac and cheese. But buffet mac and cheese was never good. I skipped it and grabbed some pork cutlets. And finally, the dessert table. My eyes lit up and I went on to grab one of everything, stacking my plate taller than it should probably go. "Your plate looks so tall and mine looks so small." Marnie was going to be unhappy about both those outcomes! I should have been clever enough to suggest she put some of what she wanted on my plate - it was the perfect crime! But then again, we were adults in public in diapers, and that was probably criminal enough. When we came back, Marnie took one look at my plate and sighed. "Kylie, you could have gone back for dessert." "This way I don't have to get up again." Less walking, less waddling, less crinkling. It was a win-win. But half my plate was sweets. "You're going to have such a stomach ache when you're finished with all that, and do you remember what happened when you over ate last time?" "What happened?" I tilted my head curiously, fumbling with chopsticks. "She crashed halfway through the movie we went to see afterward." "I didn't sleep well the night before," I explained to Ellie. "I'm not going to fall asleep no matter what we do." My feet were kicking under the table as I took my first bite of chocolate chip cookie. Despite my best efforts, I was slipping into Littlespace. "Oh, well, now you have me to sleep with, so that won't be a problem anymore." I nodded, trying to finally pick up a piece of chicken with the chopsticks... getting it close to my mouth... and pouting as it slipped out of my grasp and bounced onto the table. "Dang…" "Just use a fork." "It's a Chinese place." "I mean, not really? They have some Chinese food..." "You're just sore 'cause you can't do chopsticks." "Can so." I puffed out my cheeks in indignation. "I bet I can chopstick better than you can chopstick." And that was a pretty idle boast, because I was objectively awful! But it also felt kinda cute and sibling-ish to say it, so I said it. I hadn't used chopsticks in at least a decade, but my will to win was stronger than Ellie's. After a few minutes, I had the hang of things. By the end of the meal, I was eating bites of my cupcake with chopsticks. Ellie, on the other hand, dropped sweet and sour chicken on her sundress and Marnie had to come over and dab it off like a Mom would do to a child. I smiled triumphantly. "It's not fair, you have more practice eating than I do." I puffed out my cheeks, although I actually didn't care about winning or losing cause I had a lot of fun. It definitely seemed to be improving Kylie’s disposition too! The game had certainly gotten me out of my head. I was barely thinking about what I was wearing, truth be told. I had another brownie and a bowl of pudding before we were ready to leave. Then, the moment I got up out of the booth and the thickness between my thighs reminded me what I was wearing, the realization washed over me like a crashing wave. Like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I bit my lip and looked down at my feet. "Mommy, I need a change." I said it quietly, and it was a lie to boot. But when I saw the look on Kylie's face when she stood up, it was the first thing I could think of to try and distract her from crashing back down out of her orbit in Littlespace. To say Marnie was surprised would be an understatement. Not only the use of the word 'Mommy' in public - even if she did say it quietly - but the fact that Ellie had already wet her diaper? And that she hadn't freaked out over it? She had used a diaper only once before, and it took quite a bit of practice to get used to it. Hmm... I looked at Ellie in disbelief. Was she crazy?! She can't say that in public! No way! But Mommy took her by the hand, said something quietly about being a good girl, and led her toward the door. I watched them go and looked quietly around the room. No one was staring, not really. And even if they were, they would be staring at Ellie, not me. So I hurried after them, out into the parking lot. I think Marnie knew. I was sure that Marnie knew, actually. And Kylie probably knew, too. But it got us out of the restaurant, didn't it? And Marnie, being Marnie, handled it with aplomb. Once we were by the car, she reached one hand up my dress as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and I felt her finger in my diaper. Weird. So weird. She clucked her tongue and shook her head. "You silly girl, you don't need a change. I guess girls your age have trouble telling though, don't they? Maybe one day you'll be a big girl like your sister Kylie is, huh, Ellie?" Wow. Ellie was blushing. And like, really blushing. I didn't think Mommy would put her hand up Ellie's dress in public, but we were off on the edge of the parking lot anyway. No one was even around. I felt my lips turn up at the end in a smile. "I doubt you'll ever be as big as me," I teased, and hurried to get into the car. "Maybe not as big of a butt..." I blushed as I crawled into the car door. And I did mean crawl: butt up in the air, grumbling face down, mumbling to myself. Gosh. She checked me. She checked my diaper in public. That's what I get for taking a bullet - I got shot! I was bouncing in my seat. My feet were kicking and I kept pushing my thighs together. The diaper kept me in perpetual Littlespace, as long as we weren't in public. Cars aren't technically public! "Where are we gooooooiiinnngggg! You said you had a surprise! Tell meeeee!" Even for Littlespace, I was very... energetic. Well. At least I'd helped Kylie, which was the goal after all. I was deflated, lip-bitey, blushy, quiet. Kylie made enough noise for the two of us. "Well," Marnie began, pausing every now and then for driving focus, "there's a toy warehouse that opened down by the business park, and it's open late. I thought I might take my two little munchkins to get something new to play with." There wasn't going to be hardly anybody at a toy store close to 9pm, which was the point. Oh! I had to get more of those magnet tiles. And I wanted to see if they had a new dress for my doll I got last month. I turned to my blushy sister with a grin and put out my hands. "Come on, patty cake. I bet I'll win." "You can lose patty cake?" "If you're too slow, uh huh. Come on, come ooooon!" It seemed like at least she had moved past my embarrassing outburst, so I guess that was something. But I was pretty much as clumsy with patty cake (or was that pat-a-cake? I'd heard it both ways) as I was with chopsticks. I won three times, and then it got kind of boring because Ellie was really slow. So we played iSpy out the car window, which she was a lot better at. Deductive reasoning seemed to be her thing. Finally, we pulled up to the toy store and I was out of the car before Ellie or Mommy. "This is a toy store?" It looked more like the front of a Walmart or something! It was gigantic. The sign read "Thomas Toy Tower" and there were no windows or anything. But when we got through the door, it might as well have been stepping into another world, because I didn't think I'd ever seen a toy store so big. It was huge! Like, so huge. Like, probably how big Toys R Us used to be, or maybe bigger. I hurried ahead of the others; Ellie seemed to take her leisurely time and Mommy moved at a natural pace. "I wanna check out the toy trains first, and then the dolls, then the Legos." I sure was in a hurry, though the store was open for another hour. Notably, Kylie seemed to have been able to cast free the shackles of adulthood, and she was babbling with excitement, tumbling through the toy store like a storm on a mission, clad in shortalls and a onesie and a puffy diaper with her Mommy. Her energy became infectious and soon enough I was keeping pace with her in my pretty dress. "I want more trains too; where're the trains sis?" We got distracted on our way to the trains. Legos were near the front of the store, so we checked those first. I picked out one I wanted. Then we went to the dolls next, and I found an outfit for the doll I had. I shifted from side to side in excitement. "One toy each," Mommy said sternly. I looked crestfallen. "Two each? Please?" "One each," she countered. Would she have let Kylie have two if it was just her? No, I couldn't let that kind of thought get the better of me. So I joined my my sister. "Pleeeeaaaase Mommy? Two each?" Again, my voice was quiet, but calling her Mommy in public didn't bother me nearly as much as the sound of my voice itself. But when I was whiny and little, I sounded less like a boy, so in a way this was just a win/win. I watched Mommy's posture falter a little. Maybe with Ellie we could convince her? And she definitely reacted to that word! So I bit my lip and looked around the aisles. We had seen a few people - mostly teenagers with nothing better to do - but the doll aisle was empty. So I took a deep breath and steeled my nerves. "Mooooommy... pleeeeeease?" How could Marnie say no to that? And her fund - which was fed into by Kylie for this kind of thing - did have enough to cover it. She'd have to talk to Ellie about contributing in the future, but for now... well... she had to encourage good behavior, even if that good behavior amounted to bratting. So she sighed and nodded. "Okay," then raised her finger before her charges could celebrate, "but if you call me anything but Mommy between now and when we leave the store, and that includes to each other, you'll have to put something back." I nodded my head with conviction and looked at Ellie, who nodded back. Both of us had a slight blush to our cheeks. I took Ellie's hand and hurried down the next aisle, where the trains were. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

We just finished posting the complete story of Butterflies on our Patreon. So if you're too impatient to wait, or you just want to support us, please check us out at www.patreon.com/sophieandpudding You can also support us by leaving comments (especially about your favorite parts!) and hitting the Like button at the bottom of the post. This kind of thing is actually a really good motivator for us to keep posting our stuff on DailyDiapers. Thank you for reading so far! We will continue our usual posting schedule until the whole story is posted publicly. ---------------------- Chapter Fifty-Seven We took my car, but Mommy buckled both Ellie and I into the back seat. How could Mommy be an adult if she still drove around on a scooter anyway? I wished I had thought to bring my phone with me - it would have been a good distraction. Then again, Mommy probably left it at home on purpose. Sometimes distractions were bad. "Where are we going?" The walk from her house to my car was enough outdoor time for me. I wanted to go home. "We're going out for dinner, and then a surprise." Dinner should have made me anxious. Food made me anxious; it was like a universal truth of the El experience. Buuuut... Marnie, I mean, Mommy, she was pretty switched on about it and that made it easy to shift responsibility over to her. And heck, I had a LOT more new things to be anxious about! Ellie and I would eat more often at the mall than anywhere else. Food + people. For once, I was glad Mommy had higher standards. She pulled into a buffet and parked the car. Hm. Buffets had dessert bars... "Come on, little ones." "At least try to act like we're adults," I said sharply, but Mommy had an answer to everything. "We're still in the car, Smylie. Don't worry so much. I'll take care of you." I was trying to believe her, I really was. I just... couldn't. "I'm the littler sister, so if you wanna like um... tell me what to do, and be like 'gosh, sis, don't you know anything?' so you can feel more responsible, I'd be okay with that?" I whispered to her, although I didn't know if that was really any help at all. "Sure..." Ellie was trying. Mommy was trying. I just couldn't relax like they could. Mommy led us inside and paid for the buffet. We were led to a booth along the back wall. I crinkled with every step. It sounded so loud to me, but no one was paying attention. The place wasn't even crowded. Truth be told, I didn't know a lot of people in this city. Ellie and I moved here when we got Basic because it was far enough away from home that our parents couldn't drop by. Even after five years, I had only a handful of acquaintances. I shouldn't have been so worried. Why was I worried? Mommy sat across from Ellie and me and I sunk into the booth. I wanted to go home... Kylie was all in her head and glum and gloomy, but I had my own concerns, too! Once I sat down, I nervously leaned across the table so I could talk as quietly as could be. "Um... how do you um... how do you sit in a dress, without um... people seeing?" I'd only made that realization after inelegantly sliding into the booth. "I wouldn't worry about it," Marnie said cheerfully. It was clear to anyone who knew her how much she was enjoying herself. Even the embarrassment on Kylie's cheeks was adorable to her! "Cross your ankles," I told her. I remembered that trick from when I was little. "It's not exactly easy to do that when I'm in a diaper; I can't even get my knees to touch without really squeezing them together," I lamented, and that commend simultaneously made Kylie slink down like she was trying to hide, and Marnie grin with glee. "Alright girls, go get some food. I'll wait to order your drinks." Ellie got up from the table, but I didn't. I stayed where I was, sunken down in the seat. Ellie gave Mommy a tentative look and Mommy waved her away. Ellie went to get some food, waddling ever so slightly, leaving Mommy and I alone. "What's up, buttercup?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Are you worried I'm giving your sister too much attention?" That was a childishly directed question, handling a pretty serious topic matter; Marnie was well aware of the kind of resentment and jealousy that could grow if she weren't careful. "No." I wasn't really the possessive type. Even if I was, Ellie seemed to be immune to that. I'd already had this conversation with her, but I hadn't yet had it with Marnie. Ellie wasn't even sure what her relationship with Marnie was! "Is it your clothes?" I shrugged again. An automatic yes. "I'm going to force you to do some things you don't want to do, but I'm not going to put you in harm’s way. I'm your Mommy, and you know that I'd never let anything bad happen to you, right, Smylie? I'm not looking to embarrass you, to humiliate you; this is actually the opposite - this is normalization." "But it's not normal. It's weird. And stupid. And now I'm involving all these random strangers in a really private thing, and..." "They aren't involved. They are enjoying their dinner, and you're enjoying something that makes you happy. They aren't a part of this." "But what if someone sees or figures it out or something?" "Then someone is paying too much attention to your tush. That's their fault." "But..." "There is definitely a thin line between public consent and exposure, but what if say... you were out for dinner, wearing Lolita? Yes, what you're wearing makes a statement, but it doesn't say 'I'm a little girl in a diaper and this is my Mommy.' It says 'I like looking cute and youthful' and that's fine, Smylie." "I guess..." She made a good point. But there was more to it. Mommy reached across the table and took my hand in hers. "I know it's hard for you to trust people. But I'm going to show you that nothing bad will happen. Then next time you won't be as anxious. Is that okay?" I sighed and nodded my head. Already I had walked from her house to the car, then from her car to the restaurant doors, then from the doors to this booth. No one heard me crinkling. No one saw me waddling. Maybe she was right... "You should probably go see how your sister is doing; I'll bet the idea of a buffet is pretty daunting to her, don't you think?" Marnie knew that Kylie's feelings weren't yet resolved, and they would take time - that was the nature of all feelings, not just those related to being Little. And sometimes the best friends Time had were Distraction and Purpose.