VanillaWife

Hello everyone, It is very difficult for me to talk about this. I have no support group and not a friend I can open up about this situation. My husband opened up with me, after couple of years we are together and expecting a child, that he is into ABDL and he was hiding his stash all the time. I accepted this openly and tried to "mommy" him and make him feel comfortable around me. He did, we bought stuff together for him, he wears it all the time and says he feels accepted. However I noticed he did couple of secret accounts, searched explicitly for "mommies" to diaper him and created an AI to make sexy talk as an ABDL. He said he is not into messing, but in this way he started exploring the messing part. He is doing that in secret, I noticed with some random messagess from the app that appeared on his phone. He surely deleted everything. We are not sexually active, at least since we got a child, and his responce is that he is tired and so on. I am trying really hard to fullfill his desires, I feel cheated on in a way, I feel sad and I can't do much about it. My needs are not being met, I tried talking with him about it but I always get the same responce. I just can't understand...someone who can get aroused with AI sexy talk but can't get aroused around his wife...what am I doing wrong? Where did I fail? I am trying so hard to put myself together. I have no one I can open up with, no one to talk. I want my family to be happy but everything I see is a big failure. I apologize for this long text, it just felt good for once putting everything in words. I feel really empty at the moment. I wish you all the luck and love in this world, everyone deserves it.