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By peeboytravis · Posted
I'm in Manchester would love to make some diaper friends -
Akiza shook her head “No after the incident she ran away from the orphanage and hasn’t seen since.” She told him before setting Andrew down “Okay little guy I’ll let you explore for abit if you want to.” Patting his head Rei nodded happily “Bigger kids would make fun of my size and everytime I had an accident the meanie grown ups would make me clean it up and sit in it so I ran away from it..” she replied getting back to the subject “No I didn’t .” “Yeah I don’t wanna get frostbite If only we had fur like the kittys does.” She told her new friend.”
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Good closing chapter. All 3 points of the resolution are covered, and using introspection for the reveal works well. What I'm missing here is backstory. How did so powerful a witch lose Rob in the first place? This is where I would have gone with the second chapter. As it stands, it reads like a fairy tale in which Cinderella/Snow White loses out to Evil Queen/Wicked Witch. Flesh out the characters to go with the richly detailed plot, and you've got a winner here.
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