Wow that's impressive!  I still feel there's been too much hinting at the tests being easy for it to just be a red herring, though

If you measure too high on your waist your waist measurements are going to always come out too large.  Try measuring around the top of your underwear to get a more accurate reading.

Goodnites are actually not bad.

If you feel it would be helpful a kink aware marriage counselor could help you and your wife navigate this situation.  The kink aware professionals list could definitely help if you don't know of any offhand: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/kap_directory/

Just try different ones and see what you like.