Lord Taishi

I'm near the bay area myself.

I live in Napa, so im close by.

That sounds great! Maybe sometime this summer

I'd love to meet some too

I live in napa, pretty close to oakland

(I recognize that this one is not my best work. It was my first try and I got carried away. Please don't flame me!)

Im in Napa, about an hour's drive from Sac.

i detect sarcasm...this doesnt help me in any way.

I live in the Napa Valley, and I'm looking for any female DL's who wanna meet. Anyone?

Thank you! Wall E would be a perfect alternate choice! Or perhaps Suicide Club, its been out for a while, but the story, deaths and acting are all incredible when compared to The Happening. Plus, I agree with you on the hilarity part. I was laughing and thinking to myself "Oh my god, this is ridiculous!" when the old lady was bashing her head through the wall.

The day my brother and I went to see M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening, I expected to at least be entertained by the fact that A) people are committing suicide so it might be brutal, and it would give me and my brother something to laugh about. Haw hee haw hee haw…..-puts gun to temple and shoots himself.- I would first like to say that in the past, whenever someone has mentioned how “awesome” The Sixth Sense and Signs were, and therefore how great a storyteller M. Night Shyamalan is, I have always taken it with several jars of salt because as far as I’m concerned, one or two successful movies a great director does not make, especially when said films are stranded afloat amidst a sea of cinematic piss originating from a familiar source without a floatation device save for the millions of “fans” who immediately gave up on this walking Hollywood failure after The Village and Lady in the Water (as well they should have). I believe I speak for a great majority of the theatrical and cinematic community when I pray to the gods that this movie marks the end of Mr. Night’s career. In the words of my brother Nick: “There is more mystery surrounding this guy’s career than in all of his movies combined.” No doubt the big mystery pertains to why M. Night still HAS a career. In this film, the big twist is: (Drumroll)……………………………………………………………

The hawk, never once losing sight of its prey, dive-bombed towards the falling little mouse. Fievel felt his fall suddenly stop, this time the hawk catching his shirt again and beginning to carry him back to its nest. Fievel’s bowels moved once again as he continued to fill his diaper, which by this point was very, very heavy. Fievel then saw another ledge and another opportunity for escape. He squirmed, eventually wriggling his way out of his shirt and using it to swing over to the ledge. He made it, but immediately lost his footing, sliding and tumbling down the mountainside and eventually landing on the desert floor again. Fievel wiped his eyes, panting and still sobbing. His diaper was so wet and full, it squished against his butt whenever he took a step. He pooped again when he heard the hawk, thus adding to the several layers of waste his pants now held, and began to run again. He felt the hawk’s talons brush against his diaper as he ran, this time without any idea where he could go. He squeaked fearfully as he heard the echoing shriek of the hawk right behind him, as it snagged the lower portion of fabric on little Fievel’s diaper. He felt the poop beginning to leak out of the top of his diaper, a few blotches of the waste spilling out and splattering to the ground. When the diaper tore, Fievel was once again struck with fear as he found himself falling towards another hole! He landed, bruised and battered, his diaper’s contents spilling out as the filthy underwear now clung to his body from the sticky poop. He froze, hearing something in front of him. A menacing…rattling sound…like a hundred baby rattles… It was then that the poor little mouse was faced with a gigantic Rattlesnake! He screamed, pooping and peeing in his pants simultaneously as the snake lunged, its mouth wide open and ready to swallow little Fievel whole. Fievel scrambled from the hole, only to be ambushed by the hawk. This time, its talon gripped the frontal padding of his diaper, which leaked when it was squeezed due to the lake’s worth of pee that had pumped into it from the little mouse’s bladder. Once again, the hawk carried the squirming, sobbing little mouse to its nest, dropping him on his diaper, which amazingly was still in one piece. Fievel crawled back against the side of the nest, as the hawk bent forward, its beak gripping his diaper. Fievel kicked and screamed. “Go away!!! Mama!!” The little mouse kicked, reaching into his diaper and throwing a small wad of poop into the hawk’s face. The hawk sputtered and squawked, its wings wiping the excrement from its face as a small portion of it was swept into its mouth. It was made apparent at that moment, that hawks do not enjoy the taste of poop. The hawk flew upward, the strong gust of wind from its wings blowing poor little Fievel over the edge. As Fievel fell, he saw a cluster of bright lights below him, and knew he was either in for even more danger, or possibly salvation. I realize theres a great deal of poop in this story, so for those of you who dislike it, I apologize.

“Uh oh!” was the only thing little Fievel could say as he was jerked from his position in the rafters. His bladder released its contents into his diaper. He knew he had been caught, and what was worse was he was now literally in the paws of the very person he had been spying on. “So, what do we have here? It appears to be a young pioneer!” he heard the voice of Cat R. Waul, his voice carried by an English accent. Fievel then felt his pants being pulled down as he was set on the hard wood table, with mouse-baby supplies lying all around him. “Now the feline in me would like to devour this tender young morsel…” as this was said, Fievel looked down and saw the tapes on his diaper being delicately removed by the cat’s enormous paws, and the cat’s nose wrinkled slightly when he noted the near layer of poop that filled the diaper. The sodden, nearly rotting diaper was rolled up and tossed away. “But the shrewd businessman in me knows that, if I do, the other mice will miss him…” a new diaper was laid down under Fievel’s tiny rear end, and a sprinkling of powder was applied. He could hardly believe it, he was getting a diaper change from a cat! But when he looked up and saw the cat’s hungry eyes looking down at him, Fievel began to whimper in a frightened manner. “…and come looking for him!” Fievel felt a new diaper tightening around his tiny butt, and was immediately lifted off the table by his tail and rolled up into a leaf of lettuce. When he realized this was happening, he could have easily peed, and possibly pooped his pants again, which would have rendered his all too previous diaper change a total waste of time. “The gourmet in me quivers at the thought of…mouse tartar!” Fievel saw the cat opening his mouth, and was struck with intense fear. The little mouse squeaked and pulled the lettuce over his head, wetting his pants in the process. “But the entrepreneur prefers not to be inundated by suspicious mice that could jeopardize my plan!” The cat unrolled the lettuce, slipping the frightened little mouse’s pants on over his wet diaper. “So we must exercise both willpower and finesse.” He set Fievel down, and the little mouse tugged on his pants, which showed a small bit of his diapered crotch. “Scamper back to your parents, little mouse! And do be careful, it’s frightfully hazardous out there!” Fievel stepped back cautiously, before waving and scurrying off. Cat R. Waul leaned down and whispered into the spider’s ear. “Give him the “Flying Ah” and make it good!” The spider laughed hysterically and rushed off, pursuing the poor little unsuspecting Fievel. Fievel scampered across the beam that had led him between the cars, while the spider followed directly beneath him, reaching up to grab the little mouse’s foot whenever it saw a chance, but each time he missed. “Mouse overboard!” the wicked spider cried out, causing Fievel to stop in his tracks. “Where?!” Little Fievel then felt something grip the seat of his wet diaper, and squeaked in fear as he saw the spider clinging to his padded derriere. He pooped in his pants as the spider looked up at him with a maniacal smile. The little mouse squeaked and grunted, pulling at his diaper, while the spider pulled back. With a frightened scream, Fievel leapt across the beams, losing his balance and falling from the train. He tumbled across the desert ground, finally skidding to a halt. He could feel the brown waste in his pants smashed against his butt as he looked on after the train, slowly shrinking into the distance.