Incontinence Diaper Stigma Is All In My Mind I Think

[diapermike]

My new years resolution this year was to tell my friends and some of my family that did not know. Well that has been 4 months ago. I thought that telling my friends I would ether lose them as a friend because I did not tell them until then or they would distance me from them. But I was very wrong. What I have found out is that my friends have become closer to me. Also some friends already new I wore diapers and just never said anything about it, they just figure I would come out and say when the time was right. What I have found out is my friends just don't know what to say because they are afraid of how I would take it. So I have been very open to them about the whole matter. Telling my friends has been a blessing to me, before I use to leave them to go and change, It was almost like a full time job just to hide my problem. It seams to me that the stigma of incontinence is all in my head, but there seams to be a stigma with all disabilities and people just don't know how to act with people with disabilities. For years I have been on one side of the disabilities fence and now I am on the other side. Its a strange feeling. So I did a little test to help me under stand how my friends feel. My test was for me to walk up to a person in a wheel chair and ask them, "How did you end up in a wheel chair, I am just curious.". Here is what I found out. The person told me it was a work accident 10 years ago. He also went on to tell me that, "Wow, you got courage to come up and ask me that, Most people would just of stared at me and walked on." So I told him about my disability and I told him that he was my test subject. We both laughed about it and I gained a new friend because I confronted him. By discussing everything with him I have found out a lot. The "Stigma" is a matter of people not knowing what would happen if they ask someone about there "disability". I hope this all makes since. I would like to hear others talk about what they have ran across when telling others about there incontinence.

DiaperMike

[diapermike]

oh, forgot one other thing, my new friend is also incontinent.

[diaperpt]

i'm not incontinent - hope you don't mind me poking in here - just happy for you that you're finding not only acceptance, but a new way of dealing with others as well. you've made some really great points here about approaching others. When you mention talking to the guy in the wheelchair, you said 'confront' - I'm thinking while you just approached it head on, he must have felt it wasn't done in a 'confrontational' way, though. I'd bet you approach it like a caring individual.

I bet if someone came up to you and in a 'confrontational i'm special, your crap' tone asked if you were wearing diapers, it would put you off. In the same way, if someone came up and sounded like they were interested in you as a human being and asked you'd approach them openly.

As you struggled with telling people, was this what made you afraid to deal with it? I think it would be for me...

You are a brave person...and I read in your message that you are a very good person too.

diaperpt

[Baby Mommy]

I'm poking my head out the closet door too. Told a brother and a few friends. That's strictly about the incontinence, though. Still very much in the closet about the AB thing, but I have broached the topic of the "inner child" with a couple of friends and have gotten good feedback.