Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

Why I crave a mommy


nhdl

Recommended Posts

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about why I crave a mommy/motherly/maternal figure in my life. The conclusion I came up with is because I feel as though I never had one. Let's start from the beginning. My biological mom was 17 and a drug addict and alcoholic. She rejected me at birth and I stayed with my dad as they were married/divorced before I was born. So I was raised by my step mother. My dad is a workaholic and was home to eat supper and sleep. My step mother was more of a caregiver than a mother. She made sure my basic needs were met but that was about it. She would often tell me how much I wasn't wanted by my biological mom and that I was useless and would never amount to anything. I tried my hardest to please her and make her proud of me but it never seemed to be good enough. As I got older, she would get jealous at how close I was with my dad and would do and say things to drive a wedge between my dad and I, which worked because in later years, I went 2 years without speaking to my dad. At 17, I met my biological mom. She was drunk at the time. For a few years we got along great. Had fun, chatted, hung out but something just didn't seem right. Then she quit drinking and started AA and became a Sunday school teacher. I now only hear from her on birthdays and holidays. Fast forward to now. It seems that in a relationship, I do my best and bend over backward to please the lady I am with because I fear being rejected. As I was rejected by the one lady that was supposed to love me unconditionally. If I feel that I'm not good enough or I'm not making a lady happy or I can't give them a life that they want, I will end things and run away as fast as I can. If I hear that someone can't be with me for one reason or another, it's over. Abuse drugs or alcohol, it's over. I feel as though I never had the deep, close mother/son bond. Never had the unconditional love of someone I called mommy. As a child, I never had anyone to call mommy. I am a 37 year old 3 year old with lots of love hugs and snuggles to give. This is the conclusion I came to as to why a mommy/little boy relationship is so very important to me.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...