Spouse Of Dl

[Wifeneedshelp]

<_

[Wifeneedshelp]

My husband is a DL and I have tried to be O.K. with it for 3 years and still can't cope with it. I think that unless I can find a way to accept this that my marriage will end. I realize that this is a stupid reason to end a marriage but I keep having problems accepting it. Anyone have anything similiar?

[Morv]

Why don't you talk about your situation some more? It is hard to guess what may be a problem for you without really knowing what is going on. And as you discuss it, you may find you start describing things that annoy you, and expressing yourself.

When exactly does it bother you? All the time? Is it the idea, or when he does wear diapers, or when he talks about it... or is it even thinking about it?

More details, and we'll have something to talk about.

[Guest Diaperdragon]

Just look at it this way, eventually when we all enter the Nursing home or get old age, were all going to end up wearing diapers full time. So i think he's training for that eventuality.

I would say give it a try also to understand his situation, you may like it

[runningman]

<_>

My wife is in your situation. She is repulsed, and if I don't misread her signals frightened some. I don't even bring it up with her anymore. At times it can be hurtful, but I'd never leave her for that alone.

She's a wonderful mother (to our actual children not me), and my best friend.

I do worry about cheating on her if a DL opportunity arises, but I hope I can be stronger than that.

Don't know if that helps, but feel free to pm or email me if you'd like further input.

[jenniebear]

This is going to sound a bit weird coming from an ab/dl .... but even as a child.. the idea of an older child or adult wetting themselves or a diaper....especially in public used to repulse me too....to the point of making me feel sick to my stomach...but i would be so obsessed with the mental image so much that i couldn't get it out of my mind....

Somehow myself "playing" wasn't the same...i suppose in my mind others doing it represented things that i didn't understand about myself or hated about myself...or who knows...i haven't spent a lot of time working on that one yet....

When i discovered what it meant to be "ab/dl" i was online and hanging around in chat rooms where there was constant exposure at least reading and discussion of it....

I think what happened is ... ya know how they talk about kids now a days being desensitized against things like violence etc....i think i became desesitized ... and now the idea doesn't repulse me at all...i've been with other ab/dl's and i just relate to them as someone who is just like me....

As for my "Daddy" He had never heard of an ab/dl before meeting me...He isn't necessarily turned on by the same things as myself....but...He is turned on by things i do and give to Him and pleasing me....so that makes Him desire to give me what i desire....

It isn't the answer to everything i know.....but i would evaluate....do you receive enough to desire to please your husband?...ab personalities i've noticed tend to be a little self centered at times....it takes a lot of giving and communication in any relationship ...but especially one that has challenges like an ab/dl fetish can create.....i know i have been in both types of relationships and it's very easy to just give up and not want to give it your all.....maybe it's going to take more then you can even give....if you are truely repulsed...then i'm not really sure how to overcome it.....i'm hoping my thoughts maybe give you a little bit of a new direction .... keep us posted...and best wishes....

jennie........

[bigbabbyblue75]

OK maybe i the last one you should ask but maybe it help if you know why he like this from what i been reading it has to do with when your a kid and some thing happen. and if he like me he cant help it no matter how hard he trys and i been try from age 13. i have never told any one and just the fact that he told you mean he turst you and turst the first part of a relashship. well i like i sayed i new to this all and mite be the last you should ask but for what it worth he a lucky man just for you trying to unstand this.

BigBabbyblue75

[Joey_AB_DL]

I will chime in from the other side of your discussion. I am a male DL, married and in a wonderful relationship and we have a great 9 y/o daughter. Of course, I am a closet DL, and my wife has no idea. I have had the desires for many years.

Read my story if interested.

I have feared telling my wife for the reason you are here. I don't want to freak her out, and run her off. Sure, we love each other dearly, but personal beliefs and deep feelings can't be changed easily. I worry that telling her will cost us this life we have. So for that, I have kept this big secret.

Some say that the ABDL tendencies are basic desires to return to a simpler time for an individual when the toughest decisions one might have had to make were what stuffed animal to play with. Instead, we have other things to concern ourselves with now, the war on terror, high fuel prices, bills, debt, our kids grades, our careers, the house repairs, the car repairs, the list goes on. Sure, some ABDL desires are sexual, and that I have difficulty rationalizing. I am not condeming this part of the fetish, a portion of my ABDL is sexual. There is a small part of me that believes this is similar to people who are obsessed with masturbation. Their desires for self gratification factored in with the loss of guilt or expectations to pleasure another. Some people become so concerned with ensuring their partner is pleasured, they loose the enjoyment for themselves.

I can't tell you why your husband is an ABDL, but maybe asking him in a quiet conversation why he enjoys it may help you understand.

If you still can't fully come to terms or acceptance with his ABDL, just ask him politely to keep it to himself. Turn a blind eye to time he may spend alone or maybe he will become an inactive ABDL. Many have tried this, and it is difficult. I am not gay, but I bet trying to contain or regress ABDL tendencies would compare to a gay person ignoring their homosexuality.

There are a few groups out there that offer assistance in overcoming infantilism. If the issue puts such a large strain on your marriage, don't throw away a wonderful marriage, seek counciling or therapy. It seems that your marriage is healthy enough, maybe your husband is willing to seek couciling in an attempt to overcome infantilism. Believe me, I have considered this, and I still consider the idea.

If it is any consulation to you, there is a poll on this forum that show there is a good number of ABDL who feel very guilty and torn about their desires. Many have binged and purged, swearing never again to indulge, but always returning. Does this sound familiar, almost like an addiction doesn't it.

I hope you and your husband can come to terms with this, what ever the answer may be.

I would ask that you try to be as understanding as you can. I can only imagine the amount of courage it took for him to inform you.

Joey

[pinkpottiepants]

My husband is a DL and I have tried to be O.K. with it for 3 years and still can't cope with it. I think that unless I can find a way to accept this that my marriage will end. I realize that this is a stupid reason to end a marriage but I keep having problems accepting it. Anyone have anything similiar?

Try and forget that it's a diaper that your husband enjoys. We all attach images to items and the image we have of diapers aren't what we think of when we see an adult, or in your case your lover. If your husband enjoyed the feel of satin sheets on the bed you would likely put them on the bed to please him. If he liked to cover himself and you in baby oil, I bet you would be the first one to go for the rubber sheets. Wearing diapers gives him pleasure, but not nearly as much pleasure as he would have if you accepted this fetish of his. I'm certain that once you get over this hang up, he will give you all the pleasure you are looking for, because he will feel your love and acceptance for him at a whole new level.