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Ethan’s Worries “It’s up to you, but that’s the option being offered.” Jessica Lynd was trying to be understanding but firm with her son. “But it’s not fair.” “I think it is. You’re being given the choice of acting like an eleven year-old and making your own decisions or being treated as a little boy who needs others to make the decisions for him. So, what’s it going to be?” He was standing in front of mother in his bedroom and the moment had arrived when his world was about to change. It was a hard decision for Ethan to make because no matter what he picked, he’d end up wearing a nappy to bed. # Although there were a couple of weeks left before the new academic year, where he moved up to seventh grade, he was nervous about this huge leap to Big School. The night before he’d had an awful, unsettling dream, which ended with a soaked bed and the last time that had happened was when he was a four year-old. He’d woken up full of guilt, embarrassment and shame but his mother had merely told him that she would sort everything out and for him not to worry. He’d had a relatively carefree day playing out with his friends as usual, enjoying the last days of freedom before school started. He hadn’t mentioned to any of his mates that he was so scared of starting the new term he’d wet the bed and it didn’t occur to him that any of them might be having similar concerns. Bedwetting wasn’t something eleven year-olds discussed. Anyway, it was 10pm and time for bed. He knew this late bedtime would change soon because his mum had told him he needed to get used to a school, rather than a holiday schedule and that meant in bed by 9pm at the latest. Meanwhile, she followed him upstairs and, after he’d washed his face and brushed his teeth, she was waiting for him. Spread out on his bed was a thick white square of material, pins, a length of something pre-folded and a pair of slinky white plastic pants. In her hand was a bottle of lotion. “Ethan, you need to know that your father and I have discussed what happened last night and have made provisions for such an event.” “But mum...” Jessica held up her hand to prevent further discussion. “Listen first and then you can have your say.” She looked sternly at her son for any further interruptions. Pleased that he seemed to comply she continued. “We realise that the next few days, possibly weeks, are going to see a huge change for you. I can guess that you’re quite apprehensive about starting at the new school with older boys and girls, different teachers, but you shouldn’t... everything will be fine.” She ruffled his hair in motherly reassurance. “However, we think last night’s wetting was a sign that you’re possibly a bit agitated about this and we’re worried it might happen again.” He didn’t know how his mother could have known that but supposed parents have some sort of sense when it comes to their kids. Ethan was about to voice a denial but again she gave him a look that implied she hadn’t finished and should wait. He did. “So, tonight you will wear a nappy and these plastic pants. However, should you wake up dry over the next few days leading up to school we’ll say no more about it.” She saw him shiver at the thought as he stood silently. “This is not a request... this is what’s going to happen. If you create a problem or defy either your father or me... well... don’t... this is for your own good.” Again he wanted to speak but thought better of it. “We know this may seem an embarrassing thing to do to someone your age and, under normal circumstances we’d agree. However...” she said stressing the word, “a boy your age doesn’t normally wet the bed for no reason... so, to prevent your PJs, bedding and the mattress all getting ruined, this is the simplest solution to your problem.” Again she stressed a word, this time ‘your’, to make sure he was aware it was his problem. “If you refuse to wear the nappy, which I suspect is what you’re thinking... think again. Your father and I are adamant that this is merely as a precaution. However, should you think of wearing it and then taking it off without our say so, we won’t be pleased and you’ll be made to wear a nappy all the time.” She looked in his face to see an expression of complete horror... it seemed a terrible punishment for an ‘accident’. “Mum, this isn’t fair. It was an accident and I shouldn’t be made into a baby...” There was an inner seething but, if pushed, he’d have to admit that he’d hated waking up to a soaked bed and knew his parents weren’t doing this as a punishment. However, that didn’t make the prospect, at eleven years old and wearing a nappy, any better. As if reading his thoughts she added. “You are not being made into anything except a young man who happened to wet the bed, and who’s taking sensible precautions to make sure it doesn’t happen again. What could be more grown up than that?” She shrugged her shoulders, “Look, I’m asking you to make the decision rather than we make it for you...” Ethan interrupted thinking of a different reason not to wear the protection that surrounded him. “But it’s not fair, what’s Cindy going to say? She’ll tell everyone at school.” “Well, your sister isn’t going to be at the same school as you is she?” “But she’ll tell all her friends and they’ll tell their friends and soon everyone will know.” Ethan was hyperventilating. “No she won’t because if she does... she’ll be wearing a nappy as well.” This bit of information wasn’t expected but seemed to calm her son down a little. “Look, it’s only at night and, as I say, if you can go the next week or so without wetting again then everything will revert to normal. But, we are NOT taking that chance right now. So,” she pointed to the waiting material on his bed, “let’s get you sorted shall we?” # Although Ethan was loathed to admit to his growing apprehension, it had been something his parents suspected might happen. Their son had always been a bit of a worrier and because of the wet bed they’d read up on some of the ‘fears’ kids can have when they move school or go into a new class. On this occasion, Ethan was looking to do both and although he’d have friends who’d also be making the move, they could see the anxiety in their boy’s demeanour. They were prepared and thought if they played it down and acted as if this was quite a natural occurrence then he’d be over it quickly. The first objective, getting him into a night time nappy was being achieved, but now they’d started, they’d have to wait and see if their approach was successful. If their boy was suffering from acute anxiety, this was a simple and easy fix if he was soon past it. The downside to this was... it may cause him further anxiety. “So what’s it going to be... do you voluntarily want to wear a nappy to sleep in... or...?” Ethan reluctantly nodded his acquiescence. “Good lad,” beamed his mother, “the correct choice.” # Ethan grudgingly let his mother rub in the lotion she’d been holding since the beginning. “This... should you wet again... and this is only an insurance... is to prevent any pee-induced rash.” She smiled reassuringly as she rubbed it in. “But mum... a nappy rash.... it’s what babies get.” “Look,” she stroked his bare arm in encouragement, “we want you to be as safe as possible and, we’re trying to anticipate any... problems... before they occur. This is for your own good and I don’t want you thinking that it is demeaning or anything else for that matter. You will not change,” she beamed her approval. “You’re still our rambunctious little monkey and we’re only adding suitable protection to the mix.” She was trying to downplay it and also be encouraging but Ethan looked unconvinced. ‘Rambunctious little monkey!’ Mum, I’m eleven not three he wanted to say in exasperation but stayed quiet after all, he was being slipped into a nappy. He gathered that any discussion was over and the more fuss he made the worse it would be for him. He wasn’t stupid enough to test those boundaries as he knew where they’d been set. The only problem his parents hadn’t seemed to grasp was – this treatment made him even more edgy. “Now let me get this nappy in position and you can get into bed and read for a little while but I want you to get used to earlier bedtimes over the next few days. You won’t be going to bed this late on a school night.” Of course it was at that precise moment his young sister, who was supposed to be fast asleep by now, decided to poke her head around his bedroom door. “Mum... I was... is Ethan wearing a nappy?” She giggled hardly believing her eyes. A huge sigh was his only reaction because his legs were in the air as his mother shook some baby powder over his naked bottom before threading the thick nappy, complete with a the enclosed pre-folded soaker pad, up between his thighs. “Mummm.” He tried to suppress his shame and annoyance at the same time. His mother just carried on as if the interruption was of no significance. “Stop worrying she’s bound to find out eventually... so you might as well get it over with.” Cindy stood in the doorway watching as he was pinned in and leak-proof glossy plastic pants pulled up to cover the pristine, though highly visible, white fabric. Ethan was red with embarrassment but there was simply no place to hide... and besides, she’d seen him now. “I like your baby pants.” She giggled. “I can’t wait to tell...” Then in a sing-song fashion began “Ethan’s my baby brother, Ethan’s my baby brother.” Jessica gave her a look that was supposed to convey a warning. Ethan was stung by the chant and both angry and tearful at the same time. His lower half felt heavy with the huge new addition to his sleeping arrangements fastened tightly in place. The anxiety that had been only partially hidden broke to the surface and he thought about ripping it off in protest but then he’d be left looking like a naked little boy throwing a tantrum, which would have given his sister even more reason to make fun. “Mummm, she’s, she’s...” He tried to conceal his plastic pants behind his hands but they were just too voluminous to hide. “Ethan’s my baby brother, Ethan’s my baby brother...” she continued to sing to herself. Jessica helped pull up his pyjama bottoms and cover the thick padding. “That’s enough Cindy. There will be no telling anyone about this... do you understand?” She waited for her daughter to reply but she just stood in her nightie, swaying from side to side, confident of her power over her older brother and with a huge smirk on her face. “Let me tell you young lady... if word gets back that you’ve been spreading gossip... it won’t be just your brother who’ll be wearing a nappy... you’ll be wearing them to school.” Cindy’s face turned from a happy smile to a worried and disbelieving look of horror. “That’s not fair.” She commented with a stamp of her bare foot. “Well, you and your brother have something in common because he said exactly the same thing.” “But mummy, that’s not...” she was almost in tears. “Those are the rules. You spread any gossip and you’ll be wearing a nappy to school as well as for bed. Do you understand?” She looked from one to the other and saw their spirits dip. “Now, at the moment this isn’t a punishment it’s a precaution BUT if your father or I have any reason to suspect either of you two being anything but supportive of each other, then it will be nappies 24/7.” She emphasised those numbers so there would be no doubt. Ethan already had this speech and knew he couldn’t argue. Once in bed, and he’d squirmed around trying to get used to the thick barrier he was now wearing, his mind fixed on his sister Cindy. He knew she wouldn’t be able to contain her gossip about him wearing a nappy and hoped that their parents would keep to their word should she break that trust. For Ethan this was the start of nightly nappies. He didn’t want it but, as the following morning he woke up sodden, he saw the wisdom of his parent’s argument. Two nights in a row but this time only his nappy was soaked. # Cindy watched as her brother’s thick padding had been hidden behind his PJs, which was a shame as she wanted to look a lot longer as it did make him look like a naughty little boy. In her eyes at least, he was now her little baby brother who had to wear a nappy and that meant she was the grown up... well... in comparison. She hadn’t liked the threat her mother made and was determined that it would be only her brother who wore such a babyish item but, this was such a great opportunity to ridicule him and she didn’t like that she couldn’t. She had to find a way of doing so without inviting her parent’s wrath. Several scenarios filled her young calculating head. Inviting her friends over but as he was only going to be wearing at night, she could hardly invite them then. Her bedtime was before his so... she had to be cleverer than that – a sleepover perhaps? However, there was a chance that after a week, if he’d not wet his nappy and woke up every morning dry, he wouldn’t be wearing one again anyway. Perhaps that’s where his humiliation should be aimed – making sure he had to wear his ‘baby stuff’ every night. Now... how could she make that happen? #tbc#