Search the Community

Hello everybody. This is my first post on DD, I've been a looong time reader of the boards and although I work around computers and servers all day I'm not one that often engages in forum discussions. I'm sorry if I write just to ask an advice but I hope this community can help me: I'm also sorry if this is not the right section, I was undecided if this should be posted on the "Incontinent-desire" board, if some admin feels that way just go ahead and move my post. I would like to first give you some background hoping I don't bore you too much. I'm 26 and through my life I've never had a lot of bladder capacity but never had any serious incontinence problem: I was the "one" among friends that always had to go to the bathroom.. but nothing more. For as long as I can remember I've always loved to wear diapers with a 50/50 mix of convenience (when travelling, at the movies, ecc.) and pleasure, sometimes I was wearing for a real need and sometimes just for comfort. In the last year things have changed and I've been experiencing some difficulty when starting to pee: I pee just a bit and almost always have to force it out, this has lead to an increase in urinary frequency and bathroom trips (even 20-30 in a day). I started using diapers more to overcame this problem but of course I was worried of a possible health problem. I went to two different doctors and they both (after quite a lot of exams) said that I may have a problem with my bladder neck which is too tight or not "elastic" enough, the possible solutions are: flomax (a drug.. I've tried it for a few months but didn't work so much on me) surgical operation (they cut the bladder neck to open it more but it can be a risky operation and has the side effect of nearly sure retrograde ejaculation: the sperm will go back to the bladder leaving me infertile) intermittent catheterization (they say it's preferable to diapers and allow me to completly empty my bladder a few times a day) The doctors strongly advised for the surgical operation feeling that as a young person I woul definetely benefit from it, but after carefull consideration I've decided against it: the operation can be dangerous and the retrograde ejaculation is nearly sure in my case and I want to have children. I've experimented a bit with catheterization and it solves the problem but I fear VERY much the infections, as some of you know it can be unpractical some times even using one time hydrophilic catheters. I strongly feel that given my history with diapers the problem is not so bad and since I don't mind them so much (I could understand somebody who would prefer the catheter) and since I almost always need to pee and have a costant "urge" they are very convenient: I can't always be sitting on a toilet. Coming to the real question: I think that becoming more "incontinent" would help my living situation a lot, I hope that I can achive that without surgical intervention: becoming more "incontinent" (relaxing my sphincters) would free me from intermittent catheterization and from this constant "urge" feeling. I already wear diapers 24/7 (I've started about 4 months ago when my symptoms got worse and I've told the doctors). I want to stress that is a legitimate request: I read about people with complete urinary retention (much worse than mine) that went so far as to get both internal and external sphincter cut to become incontinent since that was better than living with costant urinary retention and dangerous infections. I might add that in the last few years I've been very stressed (for work reasons, I'm managing a startup IT company) so my muscle being very tense might be also related to some "anxiety". I've though a lot about this and as I said I've been already living the incontinent life for a few months. I was hoping that being always protected would help me relax my muscles but after 4 months I still have difficulty voiding properly, always fear little accident and even when peeing a bit 30 minutes later I have a big urge and have to push to let out just a small amount. I can't find which exercise should I do to relax my sphincters: on the net and with doctors they all try to solve incontinence and for people with retention they just suggest catheters! I've read tha I could try to suppress that "clenching" feeling when I stop peeing but that's hard and wired to the "potty training" or maybe I'm doing it wrong, during the night I usually do not wet but I wake up various times feeling very full and sometimes in the morning I resort to using the catheter or I will be peeing small amount all day. Could you share some advices? My goal at this point would be to untight my muscle, I would very much prefer to have less control on my bladder but live better although having to use diapers. Sorry for the long post and my less than perfect english, I'm not a native speaker.